Fight to Survive
by Mulderette
Summary: A plane crash leaves the team in a struggle to survive and brings about long-term repercussions, especially for Callen. ***FINALLY COMPLETE***
1. Chapter 1

***Warning – Cliffhanger ahead***

xxxx

"Callen, is that you?"

G. Callen turned around and smiled as his eyes fell upon an old friend. "Andy! Man…how long as it been? 12 years at least…"

"Yeah, it's been a long time" Andy said with a grin as he shook Callen's hand. "How the heck are you?"

"I'm doing good, how about you?"

"Can't complain, can't complain."

"Hey, I'd like you to meet my partner, Sam Hanna. Sam, this is Andy Billings. He's an amazing pilot, flew me out of I don't know how many messes before I joined NCIS."

"Nice to meet you, Andy," Sam said with a smile.

"And these are the other members of my team, Marty Deeks and Kensi Blye." The two junior team members greeted Andy with friendly hellos.

"Sam, Marty, Kensi," Andy repeated their names as he shook each of their hands. "Guess I'm going to be flying you all home today."

"Yeah? That's great, Andy," Callen said. "It will give us a chance to catch up."

"Let me just finish the pre-flight check and then you can board. You've gotten yourselves a sweet little private plane. I'll be back with you shortly."

"Wow, a private plane? This is going to be great," Deeks said. "Guess that's our reward for solving the case in such a professional and speedy manner."

"I just want to get some shut eye," Sam said, covering his mouth as he yawned.

"Didn't you get any sleep last night?" Callen asked, giving his partner a curious look. "The beds in our room were pretty comfortable, I thought. I slept like a baby."

"Just couldn't sleep," Sam shrugged.

"You want to talk about it?" Callen asked.

Sam shook his head. "It's nothing, G…just a little insomnia." He'd had an uneasy feeling ever since they had wrapped up the case the previous day. There wasn't any real reason for it and it was nothing he could put his finger on. Hopefully, once they returned back to Los Angeles, the feeling would go away. He'd be happy just to get home and hug Michelle and Kamran.

"Well, let me know if you change your mind…" Callen said, looking concerned.

"I'm fine, G," Sam forced a smile and gave Callen a mock punch on his upper arm. The last thing he wanted was to worry Callen. "I'm just anxious to get home. That's all it is."

"Okay…if you're sure," said Callen.

"I'm sure," Sam insisted. "It's all good."

xxxxx

"Oh this is nice," Deeks settled himself into the soft leather seat. "You're not going to have any trouble falling asleep in one of these chairs, Sam."

Sam sat down in a seat by a window and Callen sat next to his partner while Kensi took the seat next to Deeks. A few minutes later, Andy walked into the passenger cabin. "Hey guys, everyone comfortable?"

"More than comfortable," Deeks smiled. "All you need is some foxy flight attendants and this would be perfection."

Kensi reached over and socked Deeks' arm.

"Ouch!"

"Don't you ever learn, Deeks?" Sam asked, grinning.

Deeks rubbed his arm and gave Kensi a flirtatious smile.

"There's a small refrigerator over there with some snacks and drinks which you're welcome to. Also, I hate to do this, but I've got to ask you to stow your weapons in the lock box," Andy said apologetically.

"What's the matter, you afraid we're going to shoot up the plane?" Callen smirked as he handed over his weapon. Sam, Deeks and Kensi followed his example.

"I don't make the rules," Andy said with a smile. "You guys should buckle in. After we're in the air, why don't you come up front and keep me company, Callen."

"Sounds good," Callen said, nodding.

"So G, are you and Andy really good friends?" Sam asked, looking at his partner after Andy had headed back to the cockpit.

"We're friendly," Callen said, shrugging. "We haven't spoken to each other in years, so you do the math."

"Hope that never happens to us," Sam said musingly. "Hope we don't lose touch and stop talking for 10 or more years…"

"That's not going to happen to us, Sam. We talk to each other every day, even when we're not on duty. Andy and I didn't have the kind of relationship you and I have. We weren't partners, more like friendly acquaintances," Callen said, looking worried once again. Sam was definitely not his usual cheerful self today. "What's eating you?"

Sam shook his head. "Nothing, G…just tired…"

Callen gave his partner a long look. Something was bothering Sam and it wasn't just a lack of sleep. He wouldn't push it though, at least not yet. "You should try to get some rest," he finally said quietly.

Sam nodded and leaned his head back against the chair, closing his eyes. Maybe if he slept, when he woke up, everything would be okay.

xxxxx

Once they were in the air, Callen headed to the cockpit. "Hey, Andy, how's it going?" he asked as he settled himself into the co-pilot's chair.

"Skies are calm. Don't see any potential storms ahead. It should be a pretty smooth flight."

"So, I guess I won't be having to jump out of the plane with people shooting at me," Callen said, laughing.

"Why would you say that?" Andy snapped.

"Huh?" Callen gave Andy a confused look. "That was the last flight I took with you…remember?" Andy sure was a lot more high strung than he remembered.

"Oh yeah," Andy chuckled. "Forgot about what a daredevil you used to be. Have you calmed down at all?"

"Maybe a little bit compared to those days," Callen said. "But I still have my moments."

"I'm sure you do," Andy said.

"How about you?" Callen asked. "Are you still with Jessica?" Andy and Jessica had been dating exclusively back then. They had been together constantly. Callen remembered her as being a very pretty girl, shy and sweet.

"Yeah…we're still together…" Andy replied, his expression serious. "We…we have two children…twins…Sarah and Samuel. You want to see a picture?"

"Love to," Callen replied. Andy dug a photo out of his wallet and passed it to Callen. "Wow, Andy. They are great looking kids. How old are they?"

"They're eight."

"You must be really proud of them."

"Yeah…I am… How about you, Callen? Anyone special in your life?"

Callen shook his head. "No, still searching for the right person."

"Maybe it's better not to have that person," Andy said quietly. "Then, if something happens to you, you're not leaving someone behind to grieve…"

"I guess so…" Callen wondered where this was all coming from. He had never remembered Andy being this morbid in the past. He wondered if he had just forgotten or if Andy had changed from the man he used to be.

Callen sat with Andy for a while longer, talking about insignificant things. "I guess I'm going to go check on my team," he finally said. "Want me to get you a drink or something to eat?" He got up from the chair and headed towards the cockpit door but was suddenly grabbed from behind.

"Sorry, Callen…Afraid I can't let you do that." Callen gasped as he felt the sudden, searing pain of a knife entering his abdomen. "Andy?" Callen whispered breathlessly as he slowly sank to the floor. His hand clutched at the stab wound and blood oozed out between his fingers.

"I'm really sorry, Callen," Andy stared at Callen, his face pale as he held the bloody knife. "When I heard it was you…I didn't want to do it, but, I didn't have a choice. They have my family, Jessica and the kids. I just didn't have a choice. It's nothing personal."

Callen tried to focus on what Andy was saying, but the pain was making it difficult. "I…we could have helped you…who…who did this?"

Andy shook his head. "I don't even know. I'm not going to make it out of this either…we all have to sacrifice. My children are innocent. They don't deserve this. I have to save them."

"How…how do you know they'll be safe? You're not thinking clearly. Let us help you. Wh…what's to stop whoever this is from killing them, even if I'm dead?"

"They'll let them go…I know they'll let them go. They have no reason to lie."

Callen knew he was quickly losing his fight against passing out. "Andy…Andy get Sam, please get him. He can help us. He can help both of us…"

"Sorry, Callen. I'm afraid I can't do that." Andy went over to the cockpit door and locked it, then dropped the knife into a cardboard box and began shuffling through the contents. Finally, he found what he had been looking for and pulled out a gun with a silencer attached to it. He calmly sat back down in the pilot's chair and pressed some buttons causing the plane to start a downward course. He then took the gun and shot out the radio and some other controls as well.

"I'm sorry about your team, Callen. They seemed like nice people. It's a shame they got caught up in this because of you…" He turned once more towards the man he had once called a friend. Callen's eyes were closed and he was no longer conscious. "Guess you should have stayed a lone wolf."

Andy then took the gun, carefully aimed it, and proceeded to shoot himself in the head.

xxxxx

"What the hell," Sam exclaimed as the shaking of the plane interrupted his light slumber. "What's going on?" he asked Deeks who shrugged his shoulders. Sam unhooked his seatbelt, stood up and headed towards the cockpit. "Everything okay?" he called out as he put his hand on the door handle and tried to open it. "G? The door is locked. Let me in."

Sam waited for a few moments, but there was only silence and no one came to the door. He started to get a sick feeling in his stomach. Obviously, things were far from okay.

"Damn it, let me in there! G, what's going on? Answer me!" Sam pounded on the door but to no avail. There was only silence behind it and the door remained tightly closed. Sam shook his head in frustration at being unable to help his partner. This was bad…This was really bad. "If you can hear me, I love you, G" he shouted as he hit the door one more time before heading back into the passenger cabin.

"What's going on, Sam?" Deeks asked as he and Kensi looked at him with anxious eyes.

Sam shook his head. "The cockpit is locked. I can't get in there. They're not answering me. I don't know what the hell is happening, but I think the plane is going down." As if confirming what Sam had said, the plane began shaking more violently and it was obvious that they were descending.

"Oh my God…" Kensi whispered as her eyes immediately began to fill. "Deeks?"

"It's okay, baby…it's okay," Deeks tried to reassure her as he grabbed Kensi's hand and clenched it tightly. "I love you, Kensi…no matter what happens…remember that…"

"I love you too," she said, her eyes fixed on his. Was this really happening? Were they about to die?

Sam fell into his seat and seat belted himself in as a multitude of thoughts ran through his head. What had happened to G? Was he even alive? Was he never going to see Michelle or his children again? He glanced at Kensi and Deeks and wondered if their life together was about to be snuffed out before it really even had a chance to begin. "Kensi…Deeks…If I don't get another chance to say it…It's been a real honor knowing both of you."

"You too, Sam," Deeks said, his eyes filled with emotion.

"I love you, Sam," Kensi said softly, choking back a sob.

"Love you, Kensi…you too, Deeks…"

"Love you, Sam."

Sam put down his head, closed his eyes and began to pray. He wished he could have had a few last moments with his partner. He hated to think he had died alone or was about to die alone. He wished he could have said goodbye to his wife and children…

The plane was shaking even more violently now. It felt like it was falling apart. Deeks and Kensi gazed at each other, each wanting the other's face to be the last thing that they saw as the plane finally made contact with the ground.

(To Be Continued)


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks so much for all your nice comments on this story. I really appreciate each and every one of them_

xxxxx

Sam took some long, deep breaths as he came to the realization that the plane was on the ground and he was still in one piece. They had landed at somewhat of an angle and he was up higher than his teammates were. "Kensi? Deeks?" he called out as he unbuckled his seatbelt with shaking hands.

"Kensi? Are you alright?" Deeks unbuckled himself and stood up, trying to keep his balance on the tilted floor. Somehow, a bunch of equipment had managed to land right on top of Kensi's foot. "Kensi, Can you hear me?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Ooh," Kensi moaned softly as she opened her eyes. "Deeks?"

"Hey guys," Sam came up behind Deeks and put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Are either of you hurt?"

"Ankle," Kensi managed to say as she gritted her teeth, trying to hide her pain. "Are you two alright?"

"I'm fine, baby," Deeks said as he began to move some of the equipment away from her. "You're going to be fine too."

"Sam? Are you okay?" Kensi asked, looking up at him.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You got this, Deeks?" he asked, anxious to try to get to his partner.

Deeks nodded, his face grim. "Go Sam." He knew if he was in Sam's place, that nothing could keep him from getting to Kensi's side.

Sam nodded his thanks and began to make his way towards the cockpit. "Just shout out if you need me." Luckily, there didn't seem to be anything burning, but he knew they should get out of the plane quickly, just in case. He reached the cockpit door and once again tried to open it. "G? can you hear me?" he shouted, struggling with the door. "Damn it!" He pounded the door in frustration and turned back towards the plane's main exit door. "I'm going to have to get in there through a window," he called to Deeks.

xxxxx

"Do you think Callen is okay?" Kensi asked Deeks who had finally successfully released her foot.

Deeks shook his head. "I don't know…let's hope he's as lucky as we were."

Kensi nodded. Deeks was right. She knew they were incredibly lucky to still be alive. "What do you think happened?"

"I have no idea, but we need to get you out of here. How bad do you think it is?" he asked, looking at Kensi's pale face. She was obviously in a great deal of pain.

"I think its broken," Kensi replied. She tried to sound nonchalant about it, but didn't quite pull it off. "I felt it snap."

Deeks cringed at her description. "That doesn't sound fun." He carefully unbuckled Kensi's seatbelt. "Put your arms around my neck," he instructed as he gently lifted her out of the seat.

Kensi wrapped her arms tightly around her boyfriend's neck and nestled her face into his shoulder. She felt safe in his arms, despite the situation, as he tenderly carried her off the plane.

Deeks walked what he determined to be a safe distance away from the plane and then cautiously placed Kensi down on the ground. "Are you going to be okay for a few minutes?" he asked her. "I want to go see if Sam needs any help."

"I'm fine, Deeks," Kensi nodded. "Go."

Xxxxx

While Deeks was in the process of getting Kensi off the plane, Sam had opened the plane's exit door and had made his way to the cockpit. Using a tree abutting the plane as an aid, he managed to climb up onto the nose of the plane and started to move aside the broken glass. It didn't take long for him to clear away enough glass to begin to climb through the windshield. He stopped short, halfway through, when he saw Andy with basically half his head blown off. "What the hell…" He didn't even see Callen at first. He wasn't buckled into the other seat. Sam jumped down to the floor of the cockpit and then he saw him, crumpled between the copilot seat and the control panel. He was lying on his side, facing away from Sam and he was very, very still. Sam just stared at him for a long moment, afraid that he was dead.

"G?" Sam knelt down into the too small space beside his partner and felt his neck for a pulse, breathing a sigh of relief when he got one. "Thank God…"

"Sam? You need any help?" Sam heard Deeks call from outside the plane.

"You want to see if you can find a first aid kit?" Sam called back after thinking for a few moments.

"You've got it!"

"G? Can you hear me?" Sam asked softly . He hated moving him, but he had no choice. He carefully turned him so he could pick him up more easily. It was then that he saw what appeared to be a knife wound with blood pooling on the floor beneath Callen. He stared at it in shock as he realized he had no time to waste. "I've got you, buddy." He lifted his partner off the floor and then unlocked the cockpit door and carried him off the plane.

xxxxx

"Sam…What happened to him?" Kensi looked dumbfounded as Sam placed his partner on the ground by her.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Kensi," Sam admitted as he tore apart Callen's shirt, to better examine his wound. "Damn…"

"Sam, I've got the first aid kit," Deeks ran up to them and deposited the box onto the ground next to Sam.

"Thanks, Deeks."

"That looks like…" Deeks began.

"Yeah, a knife wound," Sam finished in disgust as he opened up the kit and began sorting through the contents.

"Andy did that to him?" Deeks asked in surprise.

"Looks like it."

"I thought he was Callen's friend?"

"With friends like that, who needs enemies," Sam remarked.

"What about Andy? Is he…" Kensi asked.

"He's dead…" Sam answered. "He killed himself."

"He killed himself?" Deeks asked, exchanging a stunned look with Kensi. "Are you sure?"

"Blew his fool head off," Sam said, "gun was still in his hand."

"Oh my God…" said Kensi. "I don't understand…"

"I don't either, but we've got time to sort that out later," Sam said, putting his full attention on his partner. "Right now I need to focus on G." He found some rubber gloves which he just managed to tug onto his large hands. He then pulled a sterile gauze pad from the kit and proceeded to put pressure on the wound to try to stop the bleeding.

Once Sam began putting pressure on his abdomen, Callen felt the increasing pain and began to regain consciousness. "No," he whispered, as he instinctively reached out to stop whatever it was that was hurting him.

Deeks quickly grabbed Callen's hands and stopped him from interfering with Sam. "Its okay, Callen," he said soothingly. "You have to let him do this. You're going to be fine."

Sam looked distressed to be causing his partner even more pain but tried to calm him. "Everything's going to be alright, G. I just have to stop the bleeding."

Callen finally opened his eyes and looked blearily at Sam. "Wh…what happened?" he asked, wincing as a sharp pain shot through his abdomen.

"Shh…don't try to talk right now, G."

Callen squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted nothing more than to scream at Sam to stop and to twist away from his partner's hands pressing into him. He could feel his breathing accelerate and he tried to calm down and think about something else, but it was pretty difficult to do.

Finally, mercifully, Sam eased up on the pressure. Callen breathed a sigh of relief and opened his eyes, gazing up at his partner. "Thanks, Sam," he whispered.

"You're welcome… you hanging in there?" Sam asked.

Callen nodded his head wearily.

After I finish with G, I'll see what I can do for you, Kensi," Sam said.

"Don't worry about me, Sam," Kensi replied as she stared at Callen. He was deathly pale. She hated seeing him like this. It just wasn't natural to see their team leader in this state.

"Of course we're worried about you, sweetheart." Deeks brushed the hair back from her face and pressed a light kiss on her forehead. "You don't have to be brave for me," he whispered.

Callen had been listening to them talking and he looked at Sam apprehensively. "What's wrong with Kensi? I thought you were finished with me… "

"Sorry, buddy, not yet," Sam began, looking guiltily down at Callen. "Now I need to clean the wound. It's not going to be very pleasant, but I've got to do it…"

"It's alright, Sam," Callen said, managing a tight smile. He knew Sam was helping him and he didn't want the other man beating himself up over what had to be done. He clenched his fists as he mentally tried to prepare himself for the onslaught of pain he knew was coming. "But what's wrong with Kensi?" he repeated.

"She hurt her ankle. She'll be okay," Deeks said reassuringly.

"Okay…" Sam twisted the cap off a bottle of saline. "You ready, G?"

"Yeah, just do it," Callen closed his eyes tightly, his body tensed in anticipation of what was to come. He let out a slight gasp as Sam began to irrigate the wound. He really wished he could just pass out but his body wasn't cooperating with his brain.

"Now, I've got to pack it," Sam stated once he had finished the irrigation. He was trying not to look at his partner's face. He knew the best course of action was to just get this over with as thoroughly and quickly as possible. He hated causing Callen any additional pain. He began to soak strips of gauze with saline in preparation to pack the wound.

Deeks was mentally cringing as he watched Sam's ministrations. He turned his attention to Callen's pain-filled face. "You doing okay?"

Callen nodded. He now had his eyes firmly fixed on Sam as he waited for this newest bit of torture.

"Sorry about this, G," Sam apologized as he began to place the gauze into the wound, using a pair of metal tweezers and a cotton swab. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but knew it would be painful no matter how careful he was.

Unable to help himself, Callen let you a brief whimper which he quickly stifled and then bit his bottom lip so hard he inadvertently drew blood.

"Callen? Callen… here, squeeze my hand. It's going to be alright. You're going to be okay," Deeks grabbed his hand, trying to reduce Callen's stress and discomfort. He was finding this whole thing to be very unsettling.

Callen took Deeks' hand feeling some measure of comfort in the gesture. He then tried to slow his breathing which was rapidly becoming out of control once again. He didn't even notice that Sam had finally finished packing the wound until he felt his hand on his shoulder. "I'm finished, G…it's over."

Callen nodded shakily. "Thanks," he managed to whisper before allowing his eyes to close.

"G?" Sam shook his partner's shoulder gently but insistently, jarring him back into awareness. "Listen to me. I need to know where else you're hurt and you have to be honest with me, okay? It's important. No sugar coating."

Callen stared back at Sam for a few long moments before speaking. "Head…ribs…"

"Is that it, G? You're being totally honest with me?" Sam questioned again.

Callen nodded. "Yeah, Sam…I am…I promise," he said as he closed his eyes in exhaustion.

"Okay…" Sam gazed at Callen with concern. The other man was noticeably shivering and he just didn't look good. He turned to Deeks. "I'm going to see what kind of survival stuff is on the plane, blankets, whatever else there might be," he informed him. "Then I'll take a look at Kensi's ankle."

"I'll be right back, G," Sam told his partner before heading over to the plane. Callen didn't respond.

"Guess that means I'm next," Kensi said to Deeks, forcing a brightness she did not feel into her voice. "Can't wait."

"I'll be right here with you," Deeks said, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

"Is he asleep?" Kensi lowered her tone, looking over at Callen sympathetically. She had finally stopped watching as Sam tended to him. She had somehow felt like she was intruding, to be watching Callen when he had been in so much pain and so vulnerable.

Deeks nodded. "Either that or he passed out." He moved closer to Kensi and she leaned into him as he put his arm around her.

"I can't believe this happened," she said.

"I know…it is pretty unbelievable." Deeks looked at Kensi with open concern. "Are you hurt anywhere else besides your ankle?" he asked her.

"No," Kensi shook her head. She gazed up into the thick green trees surrounding them. "No one is going to see us here, Deeks," she said downheartedly.

"Maybe they got off a distress call before we crashed," Deeks suggested.

Kensi looked at him doubtfully. "You think so?" she asked. "If Andy stabbed Callen and then shot himself, I don't think that he was calling for help. He wanted the plane to go down."

"Yeah, you're right," Deeks had to agree but then brightened. "Maybe we can use the radio to call in a Mayday and someone will be able to track us."

"Maybe," Kensi said. "If the radio is working…"

"Yeah…"

After that, they remained quiet until Sam returned, carrying a large canvas bag. "Survival kit," he stated as he placed it on the ground between Kensi and Callen.

"Anything good in there?" Deeks asked with interest.

Sam nodded. "Yes, it will definitely be helpful. We've got lots of useful things in here." At the moment though, his main objective was one of the blankets. He pulled one out, unfolded it and draped it gently over his partner. He then sighed softly and turned his attention to Kensi. "How you doing?" he asked her.

"Not too bad," Kensi replied.

"She thinks it's broken," Deeks stated. He shrugged as Kensi glared at him. "What? He needs to know, Kensalina."

"Let's get your boot off," Sam said. He unlaced it and then, as carefully as he could, tried to pull it off Kensi's foot. "Sorry," he murmured, seeing that she was clearly in a lot of pain. Finally, he managed to get it off. He then took the scissors out of the first aid kit and cut the bottom of her pants leg to allow him better access to her ankle. He removed her sock and saw that the flesh around her ankle was discolored and very swollen.

"That doesn't look very pretty," Sam said, "But don't worry, Kensi. It will be good as new before you know it."

Kensi cringed as Sam felt around her ankle with his fingers and she squeezed Deeks' hand firmly.

"It's okay, baby," Deeks said softly.

Sam was pleased to see that there were no open cuts and that Kensi's lower limb was not obviously deformed. He checked the pulses in her foot and found them to be satisfactory. "I'm going to go see if I can find anything on the plane to use for a splint," Sam said as he got to his feet.

"Aren't there a ton of bandages in the first aid kit?" Deeks asked, looking puzzled.

Sam nodded. "There are, but something cushioned with more support would be better and more comfortable. I'll be right back." He stole a look at his partner before walking off. Callen was sleeping restlessly as he mumbled something undecipherable. Sam wasn't sure if it was because he was in pain or was experiencing a nightmare. Neither was very desirable.

"He's really worried about Callen," Kensi commented sadly after Sam had headed back to the plane.

"Of course he is," Deeks said. "It's his partner and best friend. Callen will be okay though."

"You don't know that," Kensi said, lowering her voice considerably in the unlikely case that Callen could hear them.

"Come on, Kensi," Deeks pleaded softly. "We need to keep our spirits up here. Looking at worst case scenarios isn't going to help any of us. We need to have a positive attitude."

Kensi nodded. She knew that Deeks was right, but she was finding it hard to be positive right now. Her ankle hurt a lot more than she was willing to let on and she was concerned about Callen and their chances of getting out of this mess.

"This isn't like you, Kensi," Deeks tried again. "Isn't it usually me who's worried about the other shoe dropping?"

Kensi couldn't help but smile at that. "I think this was more than just a shoe, dropping, Deeks. This was a whole airplane dropping right out of the sky."

Deeks nodded, a grin on his face. "It was, but we all survived that, didn't we? Positivity, Kensalina. I think it's the key." Of course, Deeks was as worried as she was, but he was going to try his best to keep the spirits of his teammates up, especially Kensi.

A few minutes later, Sam came back, his arms loaded up with three pillows and some bottles of water. He dumped them on the ground and handed a bottle of water each to Deeks and Kensi. "Important to stay hydrated," he stated. "There's enough water onboard for a few days anyway. Unfortunately, the radio is dead. Looks like Andy shot it up. I don't know if we can get it working." He shook his head in disgust. That guy had been one crazy bastard. It was hard to imagine he and Callen had been friends after what Andy had done. He must have changed a lot in the years since they had last seen each other. "Tomorrow, I'm going to scout around and see what I can find."

Sam took two of the pillows and positioned them around Kensi's lower leg and ankle area. "Deeks, I need you to hold these into place," he instructed. Deeks held the pillows as directed while Sam used bandages to secure them. "That should, hopefully, keep everything where it's supposed to be," Sam said. "There, how does it feel?" Sam asked her after he had finished.

"It's better," Kensi replied, though not entirely convincingly.

"Here, take some of these." Sam handed her a bottle of ibuprofen. "That should help somewhat with the pain." He then turned towards his partner with the remaining pillow in hand. He carefully lifted Callen's head and slipped the pillow underneath him. Callen never even stirred. "You just rest, G," Sam said softly, patting his shoulder affectionately.

"Sam?" Deeks got to his feet as he spoke. "I'm going to gather some firewood." It would soon be dark and the temperature, although not too cold, was noticeably dropping.

"Thanks, Deeks," Sam gave the younger man a grateful nod. "Just stay close by, okay?"

"I will," Deeks stated and he headed off.

Sam gave a heavy sigh, lowered his head and rubbed his eyes wearily after Deeks had left. Although he had been experiencing feelings of foreboding, he had never imagined they would be in a situation like this.

xxxxx

 _Author's note: Just a couple of notes, I'm being intentionally vague as to the location of where this crash takes place, just that it's an isolated wilderness area. Also, I'm doing the best I can as far as medical stuff, but I'm far from a doctor so just try to overlook any errors if you can. Thanks so much for reading_


	3. Chapter 3

_Just thought I'd toss out a little transitional chapter. As always, thanks so much for reading and your reviews. Much appreciated._

xxxxx

It was pretty easy for Deeks to find firewood. He kept the campsite in his sightline at all times and was making numerous short trips so that they would have a good supply. "You sure you don't want me to get some?" Sam asked as Deeks returned with yet another armful of wood.

Deeks shook his head. "No, Sam. You've done more than enough for one day." He liked doing this. It made him feel useful and it was a much easier task than having to tend to the medical needs of the team. He still felt squeamish when he thought of what Sam had needed to do to Callen.

While Deeks was gathering the wood, Sam had begun to sort through the survival kit. There was a decent supply of emergency rations and water packets. With the additional water bottles in the plane, at least they were in good shape as far as water went. There were also water purification tablets if those became necessary. Sam found bright orange foam pads they could use to sleep on. He would give one to G the next time he woke up. There were also waterproof matches, flashlights, a compass, an emergency whistle, signaling mirrors, rope and other assorted useful items. Sam felt a lot better just knowing they had all this at their disposal. It was just too bad that Callen and Kensi were hurt.

"You think this is enough for now?" Deeks asked as he dumped another load of wood onto the ground.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, definitely. You did good, Deeks. Thank you."

"My hero," Kensi said playfully smiling up at him.

"Aww…that just makes it all worth it," Deeks said as he bent down and kissed Kensi.

Sam smiled at the banter of the two agents. It helped lighten the mood at least a little bit. He set to work building the campfire and it wasn't long before a warm blaze was glowing. Deeks took two of the orange pads and placed them together for himself and Kensi. After he had gotten her situated, he tucked a blanket around her. "This is pretty cozy," Kensi said, smiling.

"It is indeed." Deeks sat down beside her and she cuddled into him as he put his arm around her. "This isn't bad at all."

"You guys hungry?" Sam asked. "There are some protein bars and stuff like that here if you want it."

The two younger agents nodded and Sam tossed them over a couple of the bars.

"Thanks Sam," Deeks took the two bars and passed one to Kensi.

Sam opened his bar and took a bite as he glanced over at Callen who remained asleep. Because he didn't appear to be in any distress, Sam decided not to wake him. It was probably better just to let him rest.

"Really wish we had some marshmallows," Deeks said.

"And some graham crackers and chocolate squares," Kensi chimed in.

"Yeah well unfortunately, I don't think that's in the cards for us this trip," Sam said as he tossed some more wood on the fire.

"We should do that sometime though, right?" Deeks said excitedly. "Have a team camping trip with steaks and s'mores, tents and sleeping bags. It would be fun, wouldn't it?"

"Ask me again after we get through this," Sam said, yawning. "I'm going to try to get some shuteye. See you guys in the morning. "

"Good night, Sam," Deeks said.

"Good night, Sam," Kensi echoed as she turned to Deeks and pulled him in for a kiss. "I think a camping trip sounds like a terrific idea."

xxxxx

Callen awoke to the sound of the campfire snapping and crackling. He stared up into the night sky as he tried to process what had happened over the past few hours. He knew they had crashed, but basically he had been out for the count once Andy had stabbed him. He still couldn't believe he'd done it. He sighed softly as he took a few deep breaths. He wasn't feeling well at all. His head was pounding, his ribs hurt and he was trying not to think about the pain in his abdomen. On top of everything, he felt nauseous. The more he tried not to think about how lousy he was feeling, the worse he felt. He carefully sat up and checked the position of his teammates. Kensi and Deeks were cuddled together under a blanket apparently sleeping. Sam was close by him also seemingly asleep. He was careful not to make a sound. He knew from experience it wouldn't take much to awaken any of them. He stared morosely into the fire and thought about their situation. He hated feeling like this. He didn't like having to depend on the others as much as he had been doing. Of course, he knew Sam was the obvious choice to lead them. As a Navy Seal, Sam had a lot more training in survivor skills than himself, Kensi or Deeks.

"G?" Sam spoke in a whisper as he sidled up beside Callen.

"Hey Sam," Callen glanced at his partner, his voice also low, not wanting to wake their junior teammates.

"How are you feeling?"

Callen considered the question, wondering if Sam was still insisting on the total honestly thing he had been going on about earlier. "Thanks for taking care of me, Sam," he said, deflecting the question entirely.

"G…"

"I feel like crap, Sam, okay?" his voice cracked as he spoke the words and uncharacteristically let his guard down.

Sam stared back at him for a long moment before putting his arm around his shoulders. "I know you do G…"

The friendly gesture was almost Callen's undoing. He closed his eyes momentarily as he tried to get himself together. Damn… this wasn't good at all. He couldn't allow himself to fall apart. "I'll be okay…" He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Sam or himself. In either case, he was far from okay.

"Here…drink this." Sam handed him a bottle of water which Callen took and dutifully drank a few sips from. "You want to talk about what happened?" Sam asked.

Callen shook his head. "I don't know…basically he just snapped, Sam…I was heading back to the passenger cabin and he grabbed me from behind and stuck me with the knife. I was totally caught off guard…still can't believe he did it..."

"Of course you were caught off guard. You never would have expected something like that to happen. Why would you have?"

"He said he had to do it…someone has his wife and two kids and if he didn't kill me, they would be killed."

"You have any idea who?"

Callen shook his head. "He said he didn't even know who it was. I haven't seen or talked to this guy in such a long time, Sam. Whoever did it, it must be from a really far back case. I have no idea who it is or what it's about."

"He should have asked for our help," Sam stated. "Now he's dead…why did he kill himself? What the hell did he accomplish?"

"He wasn't thinking clearly," Callen said. "None of this makes any sense at all…"

"Well, it doesn't help to worry about it now anyway, G. Getting rescued is our first priority. There's nothing we can do about any of this from out here."

"Getting rescued doesn't seem like it's going to be very easy," Callen said with a heavy sigh. He knew he should be helping to do something, even just to strategize, but it was all he could do just to stay awake.

"You sound like Kensi," Deeks said dropping to the ground beside the other two men.

"Sorry, Deeks, did we wake you?" Sam asked.

Deeks shook his head. "No, I've just been kind of dozing on and off. How are you doing?" he asked, directing his gaze toward Callen.

"I'm good," Callen replied shortly.

Deeks momentarily considered debating that point, but decided it wouldn't be a very good idea. He and Sam shared a glance, which Callen noticed and was irritated by, but none of them said anything.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" Deeks asked, figuring a change of subject was in order.

"I'm going to see if I can get anywhere with the radio," Sam said. "If not, I'm going to do some scouting, try to find some kind of a clearing or body of water. We'll have a better chance to signal and maybe someone will spot us. Trees are too thick here. No one will see us."

Deeks nodded. "That's what Kensi said earlier."

"How's she doing?" Sam asked.

"I guess she's doing okay," Deeks replied. "I know she's in more pain than she's admitting to, but that's just how some people are wired…She wants me to think she's invincible…"

"If you've got something to say to me, Deeks, just say it," Callen snapped. "You don't have to hide behind stories about your girlfriend."

"Whoa," Deeks looked at Callen in genuine surprise. "I wasn't talking about you, Callen."

"Whatever." Callen pulled the blanket tighter around his body and practically flung himself on the ground. He regretted the action immediately as pain shot through his entire torso. He turned so that his back was facing Sam and Deeks and squeezed his eyes shut and breathed deeply to control the pain.

"Seriously, Callen…" Deeks began, but was stopped by Sam who put his hand on Deeks' shoulder and shook his head.

"I think we should all try to get some sleep," Sam suggested quietly.

Deeks nodded and headed back to Kensi while Sam laid back down. He cast a concerned look at his partner before he closed his eyes in an attempt to get some rest.


	4. Chapter 4

Enjoy. Thanks, as always for reading and all your nice comments

xxxxx

Kensi groaned softly as she began to awaken. Her entire body felt very stiff and her ankle was throbbing mercilessly. She opened her eyes to find Deeks' blue eyes focused on her. "Good morning, sunshine," he greeted, giving her a smile.

"Good morning." In spite of how stiff and sore she felt, she was unable to resist smiling back at him. As awful as this whole situation was, he always seemed to be able to make her feel better.

"How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "I'm doing okay."

"What did I tell you about not having to be brave for me, Kensalina," he asked softly as he leaned in and pressed a kiss on her lips. "I know you've got to be hurting, sweetheart."

Kensi sighed. "It doesn't really do any good to complain about it, Deeks. It is what it is."

"Yeah but it is better to know what we're dealing with," said Sam breaking into the conversation. "And we do have ibuprofen which I know isn't the strongest, but it can help take the edge off." He squatted down beside her. "Besides the pain, how are you doing? Are you experiencing any numbness or tingling in your foot?"

She shook her head. "No, I haven't noticed any of that."

"Good," said Sam. "Can you wiggle your toes?"

"Yes." Kensi tugged the blanket off of her foot and demonstrated. "Happy?" she asked teasingly.

"Very," Sam said smiling back at her.

"Is Callen awake yet?" Deeks asked in a whisper.

Sam shook his head. "No. I think he's still sleeping."

Deeks nodded. "That's good. Best thing for him."

Sam sighed. "You know he didn't mean what he was saying last night, Deeks. He was just feeling lousy and he took it out on you."

"I know, Sam. It's fine. If it helps him, I'm more than willing to be his verbal punching bag."

"Deeks," Sam looked at him somberly. "It's not like that. You're not anyone's punching bag, certainly not Callen's."

"I said its fine, Sam. I think we're all pretty frustrated right now. Tempers are bound to flare up."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, well just so you know he didn't mean anything by it."

"I do. Don't worry about it."

"Okay, I'm going to go see if I can find anything halfway decent for breakfast." Sam stood up and headed over to the plane after checking to make sure Callen was still asleep.

"What?" Deeks looked at Kensi who was looking at him speculatively.

"What did Callen say to you?" she asked. "When was all this happening?"

Deeks shook his head. "It was nothing, Kensi. You were sleeping. Sam and Callen were talking, I went over to them… probably shouldn't have…"

"Why would you say that?" Kensi asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know…this is pointless." He changed the subject abruptly. "Anyhow, Sam was right about the ibuprofen. You should take some. Try to stay ahead of the pain if you can."

Kensi nodded deciding to let him off the hook for now. "Okay."

xxxxx

Callen slowly opened his eyes and it took a few moments for him to become oriented to his surroundings. He painstakingly sat up and reached for the water bottle beside him. He took the cap off the bottle and took two long refreshing sips then put the cap back on and set the bottle down beside his hip. It was then that he noticed Kensi and Deeks, both with their eyes on him. He immediately felt himself begin to tense up.

"Good morning," Deeks spoke first, more than willing to break the ice.

"Good morning," Callen replied. "How are you guys doing?"

"We're good," Deeks replied. "How are you?"

"I'm good too…" Callen felt very on edge again and he really didn't know why. He needed to get things back to normal. "Deeks…Listen…"

Deeks shook his head. "It's fine, Callen."

"No. It's not fine, Deeks. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, no big deal…"

Callen let the matter drop, too drained to pursue it any further. "Where's Sam?" he asked.

"He's in the plane. You want me to get him?"

"No… that's okay… thanks." He sighed and stared down at the ground, not knowing what to do with himself. He was the team leader and felt incapable of leading anyone anywhere. He knew that his physical condition was impeding his mental state. He was sluggish, irritable and very much off his game.

"Hey G," Sam walked back into their little camp, a big smile on his face. "I see you woke up just in time for breakfast." He handed each of the agents a fruit cup with a plastic spoon. "Here you go guys, a gourmet delight."

"Thanks Sam," Kensi happily accepted the fruit cup as did Deeks.

"How are you doing, G?" Sam asked as he sat down beside his partner. He had taken the fruit cup from Sam but hadn't said anything.

Callen shrugged and remained silent, but then saw Sam was staring at him. He decided he needed to answer. "I'm alright."

"That's good," Sam said easily, not wanting to confront his partner. He took the lid off the fruit cup and ate a spoonful of the fruit. "Mm…this is pretty tasty."

"Glad you like it so much, you can have mine too," Callen said, placing it on the ground next to Sam.

"G…"

Callen rolled his eyes. "I'm not a little kid like Kamran, Sam. You can't force me to eat."

Sam studied his partner. His cheeks looked flushed and there was a thin sheen of sweat over his face. "You running a fever, G?" he asked.

Callen didn't bother to answer him.

Sam opened up the first aid kit and shuffled around, finally coming up with a digital thermometer which he handed to his partner. Callen thought about refusing to put it in his mouth but the look on Sam's face discouraged that strategy. He sighed loudly and stuck the thermometer under his tongue. When the thermometer beeped, Sam took it from his partner's mouth. "104.2…" No wonder he was so miserable. Sam took the bottle of ibuprofen, shook out some tablets and handed them to his partner. "Your temp is too high, G." The calmness in Sam's voice disguised what he was feeling inside. "Let's see if we can get it down."

Callen did as Sam asked. He swallowed the tablets with a few gulps of water.

"Why don't you try to go back to sleep," Sam suggested and was relieved when his partner did as he asked once again. Unable to hide his exhaustion, Callen practically collapsed onto the ground and was asleep almost immediately. Sam shook his head, infuriated with the whole situation and how limited he was in his ability to help his partner. He stood up and kicked the ground in frustration before walking over to Kensi and Deeks.

"How is he?" Deeks asked, both he and Kensi looking up at Sam with worry-filled eyes.

"He's not good," Sam said shaking his head. "104.2 temperature…" Sam's thoughts were becoming morbid. Up until this point, he had been relatively sure he could take care of his partner, that he would get them out of this mess. Now though, the reality of the situation was hitting him and he was beginning to fear that G might not make it. He needed to be in a hospital, not out here in the middle of nowhere without proper medical attention.

"You're doing everything you can for him, Sam," Kensi said softly.

"Yeah, well it's not enough," Sam replied. "I'm going to go see if I can make any headway with the radio." He glanced over at Callen. "Give a shout out if he needs me."

"I will," Deeks replied.

They watched as Sam made his way to the plane. "I wish there was something I could do," Deeks said," his expression bleak. "This is tearing him up."

"He'll be okay, Deeks," Kensi said, taking his hand.

Deeks nodded and he tightened his grip on Kensi's hand, feeling thankful that she was a part of his life.

xxxxx

Unable to deal with the close proximity of Andy's body as he tried to work on the radio, Sam finally dragged him into the lavatory and slammed the door. He then returned to the task at hand, but was finding himself increasingly exasperated as he realized that he was not going to be able to get the radio back in working order. He flung the screwdriver to the floor and was thankful for the isolation of the cockpit as he could feel his eyes brimming with tears. "Get a grip, Hanna," he whispered to himself. As quickly as he had let his emotions go, he got them back under control. He picked up Andy's gun, which he had pulled from the man's dead fingers, and checked the clip which was empty. At that point, he began a search for ammunition but couldn't find anything. Nor could he find the lockbox where Andy had claimed he was going to store their weapons. He wondered if the lockbox had even been onboard when they had taken off. Realizing he wasn't accomplishing anything on the plane, he headed back out to the campsite.

"Any change?" Sam asked Deeks as he squatted down beside his partner.

"No. He's just been sleeping," Deeks replied.

Sam nodded and picked up the thermometer, placing it into Callen's mouth. "104.5" he said grimly after the thermometer beeped. The fact that his fever was still climbing in spite of the ibuprofen was ominous. It seemed relentless in the grip it had on his partner. "G…you're killing me here…" He folded the blanket away from Callen's torso and carefully unwrapped the loose gauze covering the packed wound. What he saw did not look good. There was yellow pus around the edges of the wound and he knew there would be more inside. "Damn knife must have been filthy," Sam said in disgust. He then beckoned to Deeks. "Hey, can you come here for a minute?"

"What's up, Sam?" Deeks asked, immediately hurrying to Sam's side.

"I need you here in case you have to hold him down," Sam said.

"Sure…what are you going to do?" Deeks asked solemnly, already inwardly feeling sorry for Callen.

"Change this damn wound packing," Sam stated. "He has a raging infection going on here."

Deeks glanced down at the wound then quickly looked away. It was really nasty looking.

"Okay, get ready," Sam said as he used the tweezers and began carefully pulling the gauze from inside the wound. Deeks kept his eyes averted from what Sam was doing, fixing them on Callen's face in case he began to regain consciousness. Luck was with them this time, however, as Callen did not awaken. Sam repacked the wound as quickly as he could and retaped some more loose gauze over the top of it. He breathed a sigh of relief when he had finished, glad that he hadn't caused his partner to undergo another painful ordeal. Sam then soaked a piece of bandage and placed it on Callen's forehead.

"I'm going to go scout around," Sam said, looking at Deeks. He hated leaving his partner in such a state but Sam needed to make a concerted effort to get them rescued. He picked up a compass from the group of supplies. "I'll be back in an hour or less." He took the emergency whistle and handed it to Deeks. "Watch him closely. If you need me for anything…anything at all, use this and I'll get back here fast. Okay?"

Deeks nodded. "You've got it. I'll take good care of him. Good luck, Sam."

"Thanks. You too."

xxxxx

About a half hour after Sam had left, Callen opened his eyes and looked around wildly while trying to remain inconspicuous. It was really, really hot. He had no idea where his captors had brought him. It felt like the desert but the trees everywhere didn't support that. He could see a man and a woman sitting nearby. They appeared to be the only ones guarding him at the moment. He saw that he was unbound and smirked to himself. They were severely underestimating him. He couldn't see Sam anywhere. He hated that they were separated. He prayed Sam was okay, that he wasn't being tortured or something worse than that.

Deeks looked over and saw that Callen was awake. He walked over to him and immediately saw that he still looked very flushed and his eyes were glazed. Not a good sign. "Hey Callen, how are you feeling?" He was surprised when Callen scrambled to his feet and backed away from him. "Hey, hey…what are you doing?"

"Where's Sam?" Callen asked demandingly.

"He's just out scouting, trying to find a good place where we can signal for help," Deeks answered soothingly. "He'll be back really soon, okay?"

Callen shook his head. "I know you're lying. Where is he? Tell me now."

"I'm not lying, Callen…It won't be long before he's back here."

"You're using him to get to me. What's your agenda? What do you want from me?"

"I? Uh…what?" Deeks was totally bewildered and knew now that Callen was hallucinating. "Callen… it's me, Deeks. You know me. We work together. I don't have an agenda."

"Stop with your lies," Callen said, narrowing his eyes. "I don't believe a word that you're saying. You better pray that Sam is alright. If…if he's dead…I will kill both of you and whoever else is responsible."

Deeks stared back at Callen and for a moment actually felt nervous. He knew Callen was dangerous. Under these circumstances, who knew what he was capable of. He backed up to where Kensi was sitting, keeping an eye on the other man as he did so. "Kensi…what should we do? He's really out of it. He has no idea who we are…"

Kensi looked at Callen, considering their options. She wished Sam was there. He would have a better idea of how to handle his partner. Finally she called out to him. "Callen? It's Kensi. We've worked together for a very long time. I'm your favorite agent. I know you remember who I am." She smiled and summoned him with her hand. "Come here…I just want to talk."

Callen slowly shook his head. Neither of them was carrying a weapon. Now was his chance to try to escape and look for Sam. Abruptly, he turned and started to run. "Callen, no!" Deeks yelled as he took off after him. He quickly caught up to the agent and grabbed him. "Callen, don't. No one is going to hurt you or Sam."

"Let go of me!" Callen struggled ferociously to escape. Finally, he managed to twist his arm out from Deeks' grasp and elbowed him sharply in the chest.

"Come on, Callen, stop." The blow to his chest caused him to loosen his grip and Callen came at him, fists flying. Deeks, unwilling to hurt the other man any more than he was already hurt, was mainly in self defense mode. Callen got a vicious punch to connect with Deeks' left eye. Deeks hit the ground hard and laid there, dazed.

"Deeks!" Kensi had been slowly crawling to where the two men were brawling and she reached Deeks' side shortly after he hit the ground. "Deeks? Can you hear me?"

"Yeah…yeah I hear you," he said as he grabbed at his face. "Oh man… who would have thought Callen could hit like that… Sam yeah, but Callen? Oh man…"

"We need to get a cold compress on that," Kensi said. "That's really going to swell."

"I'll be okay, Kensi. We just need to try to keep Callen calmed down. He's really…" Deeks turned his head suddenly panicked. "Where is he? Where did he go?!"

"I…"

"No, no no no, no…" Deeks got to his feet and scanned the area . "Kensi, please tell me you have some idea which way he went."

"I don't know, Deeks… I'm sorry. I was concentrating on you."

"Damn!" Deeks bent down and lifted Kensi up into his arms then carried her over to their makeshift bed. He picked up the whistle and blew it loudly to signal Sam. "I'm going to go that way," he said, pointing.

"What? No," Kensi shook her head. "Just wait for Sam to get back here. He won't be long and you can work together."

Deeks shook his head. "I'm sorry, baby. I need to go now. Callen's in really rough shape. I can't just sit here twiddling my thumbs." He suddenly thought better of leaving her exposed and alone. "Come on," he said, picking her up again. "You'll be safer on the plane."

"Deeks, just stay here," Kensi pleaded. "Please wait for Sam. You shouldn't go out there alone."

Deeks shook his head as he placed her down inside the plane right near the refrigerator. "There's stuff in there to eat and drink." He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. "I'm sorry. I have to do this. I'll see you soon, Kensi, I promise."

"Deeks please!" she called out once again, but her plea fell on deaf ears as Deeks trotted off and Kensi was left alone.


	5. Chapter 5

As always, I really appreciate all who are reading and reviewing. Just an fyi, I am moving in three weeks and things are kind of crazy. Hopefully, that won't interfere with me being able to post a weekly chapter, but just in case it does, I'd appreciate your patience. Thanks again.

xxxxx

Sam was totally unnerved when returned to camp and found his teammates missing. "G? Kensi! Deeks!"

"Over here, Sam." He looked towards the plane and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Kensi sitting by the entrance. He made his way over to her.

"Hey Kensi, you scared me. What's going on? How come you're over here?" He looked past her, further into the plane, but saw no sign of Deeks or Callen. He looked at her questioningly. "Where are they?"

"They're not here," she said, obviously upset.

"They aren't here?" Sam echoed, looking down at her in confusion. When he had left, Callen hadn't been in any shape to go traipsing through the woods with Deeks. "How…where did they go?"

"I don't know…Callen punched Deeks and took off and now Deeks is off God knows where trying to find him."

Sam looked at Kensi incredulously. He hadn't even been gone an hour and all this had happened?

"Why did he hit Deeks?"

Kensi was overly emotional and losing her patience as the words tumbled out of her mouth. "He didn't have a reason, Sam. He was hallucinating. He didn't even know who we were. He thought we had killed you or were holding you captive or I don't really know what he was thinking. He freaked out and punched Deeks in the eye. Deeks was lying on the ground dazed. I was checking on him and Callen took off. I wasn't paying attention. I have no idea where he went. I'm sorry."

Sam didn't doubt that Callen had packed a mean punch. Feverish, miserable and feeling threatened wouldn't have been a good combination for his partner and he would have let loose with a fury. He also knew Deeks wouldn't have wanted to hurt G so would have been at a distinct disadvantage. He just wished Deeks had waited for him to return before heading off into the woods. "He should have waited for me to get back," Sam said.

"He was upset and worried, Sam," Kensi retorted defensively. "I don't think he wanted to be here doing nothing when Callen was off in the woods under our watch. You would have done the same thing." She was feeling pretty guilty about it herself. She could only imagine how bad Deeks was feeling.

Sam sighed, knowing that was true. "Okay. I'd better get out there and start looking for them.

"Do you know which way Deeks was heading?"

"I think he was headed west. At least that's what he said when we were outside, but, I don't know, Sam. Maybe he went another way. He doesn't know anything about the wilderness. You have to find him before he gets lost out there."

Sam nodded, not able to contradict what Kensi was saying. Deeks didn't even have a compass which had proven to be a godsend for Sam in their current predicament. "Okay. I'm going to work a perimeter and try to spot them. I don't think G is going to get far the shape he's in. From what you described, his fever is out of control."

Kensi nodded. "He really wasn't good. You need to hurry, Sam."

"I will," said Sam, "and what I need you to do is blow the whistle every few minutes, just one long blast. If Deeks gets back before I do, keep him here and blow the whistle three times in succession. I'll come back and we can coordinate. Are you okay here? Do you need anything before I leave?"

"I'm good, Sam," Kensi reassured him. "Just go. Hurry."

Sam nodded and quickly headed back out to begin his search.

xxxxx

Callen was struggling as he made his way through the woods. His gait was unsteady and he kept licking his dry lips, feeling unbearably hot and thirsty. He wished he had some water. He wished he had some idea where Sam was being held. He could hear a whistle every so often and knew that they were after him. He clutched his abdomen, unable to ignore the pain that was assaulting him. He stopped walking as his vision blurred and he crumpled down onto the ground.

xxxxx

Sam had no idea what Deeks' strategy would be. He didn't know if he would follow a particular plan or if he would just run off into the woods half-cocked. He headed in the opposite direction from where Kensi had thought Deeks had started out. Hopefully, he would connect with the younger man relatively quickly. "G! Deeks!" he called out as he started walking. "G! Deeks! Can you hear me?!" Sam kept a steady pace, searching the woods carefully as he did. He smiled faintly when he heard Kensi's first whistle blast. If anything, that would hopefully keep Deeks from straying too far in the wrong direction.

xxxxx

"Callen, what were you thinking?" Deeks was talking to himself as he walked. Even as he said the words though, he knew it was a stupid question. Callen's mind had been muddled by fever. He hadn't been thinking, at least not rationally. Deeks was paying close attention to the area around him, trying not to stray too far away from camp. Everything looked the same. Just trees, trees and more trees… He envied Sam having the compass. Every so often, he was using the knife he was carrying to carve X's onto trees in an attempt to mark his path. He didn't want to get lost. Hopefully, this would get him back to camp safely. He wondered if Kensi had been right. Maybe he should have waited for Sam to return. He just didn't think he could have stood to see the look on Sam's face if he told him he had allowed Callen to run off into the woods alone and he wasn't doing a thing about it. He abruptly stopped short, sure that he heard something. "Callen? Callen, is that you?" he called out. He took off in the direction of the sound, no longer paying attention to his location. "Callen? Come on, man, we're not going to hurt you. We're just trying to help." Deeks was running quickly and never even slowed down when he reached an area which was covered with old dead brush and branches. He was never even suspicious until it all gave way and he tumbled down into the deep, dark pit.

xxxxx

Sam almost walked right by his partner who was lying on the ground, his body partially obscured by a bush. Sam became more apprehensive as he approached him, expecting the worst. Callen's breathing was heavy, however, so Sam knew he was alive before he reached him. "G?" Sam placed his hand on Callen's forehead and could feel the heat radiating from it. "Damn, you're burning up, buddy. Come on…let's get you back to camp."

xxxxx

"Ooh." Deeks lay at the bottom of the pit, momentarily stunned, as he tried to get his bearings. The first thing he noted was that his left shoulder hurt pretty badly. He tried to move it but hissed when the pain sharpened considerably. "Oh this is bad," he said to himself as he clutched his shoulder with his right hand and slowly sat up. He looked up to try to assess the situation. There was no way in hell he was getting out of this pit without help. The hole he had fallen into was definitely deep enough that Sam would need a rope to get him out of there. Of course, that was assuming Sam even found him. There wasn't a whole lot of daylight down where he was, but there was enough for him to see the skeleton of some long dead animal off to his right. "Hope I have better luck getting out of here than you did," Deeks said gloomily.

xxxxx

Sam came back into camp and gently placed Callen down on the pad he had been using to sleep on. "G? Come on, can you hear me?" Sam pleaded as he squatted beside his partner. He doused a fresh strip of bandage with water and placed it on his forehead. Then he soaked a gauze pad and gently bathed Callen's chest. Receiving no sign that Callen knew he was there, Sam headed over to the plane to check on Kensi.

"How's Callen?" Kensi asked. She had been watching Sam care for his partner from the plane. Although she was happy he had found their team leader, she was disappointed that they had returned without Deeks.

Sam shrugged. "He seems about the same. Why don't you blow the whistle three times now," he suggested. "I think Deeks will figure out he should come back."

Kensi nodded and did as Sam wanted then tossed the whistle down on the floor. "I hate this," she said, shaking her head in frustration. "I should be looking for him too instead of being stuck here."

"Kensi, I'm going to find him," Sam said as reassuringly as he could, hoping to God what he was saying was true. "Anyhow, we couldn't both be out there looking even if you weren't hurt. Someone would have to be here with G."

Kensi nodded reluctantly. What Sam said was true. "Are you going to bring Callen in here?"

Sam hesitated then nodded. "Yeah, at least until tonight. You both need to be out by the fire when the temperature starts dropping." He looked out at the campsite. The fire had burned out and was going to need to be built back up. They would have to gather more firewood.

Kensi was troubled when Sam brought up the impending nightfall. She knew he would no longer be able to search for Deeks once darkness fell. She couldn't bear the thought of Deeks being out in the forest all night, cold and alone. She just wanted him back.

Sam went outside and once again picked Callen up and carefully brought him into the plane, laying him down near the entrance by Kensi.

"Hetty? Hetty, I lost Sam…I can't find him anywhere," Callen began murmuring.

"Shh…G, I'm right here," Sam said softly, his hand on his partner's shoulder. "You found me. Everything's okay."

"Sam? Where are you, Sam?"

"I'm right here with you, buddy." Sam continued to softly reassure his partner as he gently rubbed his shoulder. Eventually, Callen settled down.

Kensi had been watching the interaction between the two men impatiently, forcing herself to remain silent. As badly as she needed Sam to head off immediately in search of Deeks, she knew he needed a little bit of time with his partner before doing so.

"I'm going to go get some blankets in case you need them. Be right back," Sam said as he got to his feet. He then went outside and gathered up some blankets and brought them into the plane along with the first aid kit. Once he had put the supplies within Kensi's reach, he opened the refrigerator and got out some bottles of water and a fruit cup then grabbed some bags of chips. "In case you get hungry," he said, placing the items beside her.

Sam then squatted next to Callen again and resoaked the bandage on his forehead. He hated having to leave him. With every fiber of his being, he wanted to stay and try to get him through this. He was so afraid he was going to leave and come back to find that Callen had succumbed to his injuries. He knew he needed to find Deeks though. "You hang in there for me, G," Sam said softly, squeezing Callen's hand gently. "You need to fight really hard, okay?"

Kensi could see the torment in the eyes of the senior agent. She knew how she would feel if Deeks was seriously ill and she was being forced to leave his side. "Sam…I'll take good care of him. I promise."

Sam nodded and forced a smile. "I know you will, Kensi." He sighed as he got to his feet. "Alright, I'm heading out. Three times if Deeks comes back." He handed her the bottle of ibuprofen. "If G happens to regain consciousness, see if you can get him to take some of these," Sam said to Kensi. They hadn't been very helpful yet, but that could change. "Try to get some water into him too, if you can."

"I will."

"Okay, I'll see you soon," Sam said and with a last look at his wounded friends he headed back out in search of Deeks.

xxxxx

 _His hands bound tightly behind his back, Callen was marched down the corridor by the two armed guards. He was shoved into a large, empty room and the door was slammed behind him. On the far side of the room, a black curtain was draped over almost the entire length of the wall. Beside the curtain, on the wall, was a red switch. Suddenly, the door to the room opened again and Callen stared in shocked recognition when the other man entered the room. "Janvier…"_

" _Hello, Agent Callen," Janvier said with a malicious smile. "I told you I would escape from prison. Granted, it took a little bit longer than I anticipated, but the anticipation only makes the reward that much sweeter. Don't you agree?"_

 _Callen could feel his heartbeat speeding up but he didn't allow his emotions to show on his face. "So, you've got me. Guess that's one less Christmas card you'll have to worry about it," he said with a smirk._

" _Oh don't worry, Agent Callen. I will still be sending you cards every year. They'll be a reminder of what this day meant and what you lost…"_

" _What I lost? What are you talking about?" Already he knew that this wouldn't be good. Janvier would want to punish him in the worst way possible._

" _You remember how you felt when you lost Agents Renko and Hunter?" Janvier asked, the same smile still on his face. "This is going to feel so much worse than that…so much worse…."_

 _He walked over to the wall switch and flicked it with his fingers. Slowly, the curtain moved across the wall. Callen waited tensely to see what would be revealed. As the curtain opened, he could see that it was not a wall behind it but rather clear glass which showed another room. Trapped behind the glass were Sam, Kensi and Deeks. In front of them, was some kind of an explosive device. Callen turned to Javier as the horror within him grew. "No…you can't," he said. "It's me you want, not them."_

" _That's where you're wrong," Javier said. "It's you who I want to suffer and I will accomplish that by any means necessary. Just seeing your reaction makes me realize this is the right choice."_

 _His face filled with agony, Callen turned to his teammates standing behind the glass. This was his family and he was about to bring about their demise. Deeks and Kensi were holding hands, both with their heads held high, brave to the end. Sam put his hand over his heart and looked back at Callen meaningfully. "It's not your fault, G," he shouted. "Not your fault."_

 _Those were the last words Sam ever spoke as seconds later the room exploded, reducing its occupants to charred remains._

xxxxx

"Nooooo!" Callen's earth-shattering scream scared the daylights out of Kensi. "No please… You can't all be dead. Kensi, Deeks…Sam…no, please…" Obviously distraught, Callen thrashed about frantically as tears streamed from his eyes. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…please don't be dead…please."

Kensi was distressed as she watched Callen falling to pieces in front of her. "Callen…Callen it's okay. We're safe. We're all fine." Not knowing what else to do, she leaned down and hugged him, trying as best she could to comfort him. She could feel him trembling beneath her touch. She tried to wake him but his fever kept him trapped in the nightmare. "We're not dead. I promise, everything is going to be okay," she said consolingly. She really hoped these nightmares were only a product of him being so sick and not anything he experienced frequently. "Shhh…It's okay. Everything's alright." Finally, after what seemed like an endlessly long time to Kensi, he calmed down and fell into a more peaceful sleep.

"Sam, please just find Deeks and get back here," Kensi whispered. She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself tightly as a single tear trickled down her cheek.

xxxxx

"Help! Sam! I'm down here!" Deeks leaned his head back against the dirt wall of the pit. He was getting hoarse from shouting. He was beyond frustrated, in a lot of pain and more than a little bit scared. "I don't envy you having died in this place," he said to the animal remains beside him. "Don't think it was a very pleasant way to go. Not to mention slow…" He thought about how long it would take to die down here. He imagined it would be torturous. "I can't say I'm looking forward to it." He wondered if Sam had found Callen or if he was still out there feverishly roaming through the forest. Maybe he was even dead. Sam would probably blame him if he was, but no more than he would blame himself. He couldn't seem to stop the morbid thoughts running through his head. He sighed heavily and wondered if he would ever see Kensi and his friends again.


	6. Chapter 6

_Just want to say I appreciate all your reviews and I especially want to thank those who I couldn't respond to individually and guest reviewers. It really means a lot to me._

 _Also, warning, some very out of character Callen ahead._

xxxxx

This time, when Sam headed out, he decided to go west, hoping to find some way of tracking the younger agent. He smiled widely when he found the first freshly carved X in the bark of a tree. "Good boy, Deeks." He slowly made his way along, every so often having to backtrack as he searched for the X's. Sometimes it took a while, but each time he found one, it gave him renewed hope. He just wished it was faster going. He wanted to get back to Callen.

"Deeks!" Deeks, can you hear me?!" Sam continued yelling every few minutes, then would intently listen, hoping to hear an answering call. Finally, his efforts were rewarded as he heard a very faint response.

"Sam! Help!"

xxxxx

Deeks didn't think he had ever felt more relieved than when he heard Sam calling for him. "Oh thank, God," he said and then began to yell for all he was worth. "Sam! Help! Be careful! I'm down in a hole. I need help, Sam! Help me!"

xxxxx

Sam became exceedingly cautious when he heard Deeks mention the hole. If he fell down too, they were all as good as dead. "Deeks?"

"Down here! I'm down here! Be careful!"

Finally, Sam found the area of arranged brush up ahead and began tossing it aside, breathing a sigh of relief when he found the edge of the pit. "Deeks! Are you hurt?"

Deeks peered up and saw Sam looking down at him. "Oh Sam, you beautiful man, I have never been so happy to see you as I am right now."

"Well, it's good to see you too. Are you hurt?"

"My shoulder's pretty messed up. Other than that, I'm good."

Sam nodded as he mentally cursed that he hadn't thought to bring the rope. "Okay. Deeks, I don't have the rope with me. I'm going to have to head back to get it. Give me an hour or so." Now that he knew Deeks' location, a half hour was his best estimate of how far away he was from camp. "You just hang in there. I'll be back soon."

xxxxx

"I found him," Sam said as he briskly walked into camp. "He fell into a pit." He walked towards the supplies and grabbed the coil of rope and a flashlight which he tested to make sure it worked.

"Is he hurt?" Kensi asked anxiously.

"He hurt his shoulder," Sam replied. "Aside from that, he says he's okay." He was distracted by his partner who was rambling and flailing about. He squatted down next to Callen, opposite Kensi. "How long has this been going on?"

"On and off," said Kensi. "He's been having nightmares."

"Why….why did you kill him? Why didn't you kill me instead?" Callen asked, clearly agitated. "I'm so sorry, Michelle. I wasn't there…I couldn't stop them. I would switch places if I could. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

Sam took his partner's hand, feeling drained as he listened to Callen's rants about Sam's supposed death. "Shh… Come on G…listen to me. I'm fine. Nothing happened to me. Everything's going to be okay."

"I can do that, Sam," Kensi said impatiently. "It's going to get dark soon."

"I still have time. Just give me a minute," Sam snapped, not letting go of Callen's hand. He continued to console his partner, murmuring reassurances. Finally, Callen calmed down and his sleep became easier, the nightmare seemingly gone. "Sorry, Kensi," Sam said as he stood up. "I just couldn't leave him when he was like that."

Kensi shook her head. "No. You were right. Of course you needed to stay…" She hesitated before going on. "He's always dreaming about horrible things happening to us and blaming himself for them…"

"Yeah well , we have a dangerous job… makes sense…"

"I guess so," said Kensi, not sounding convinced.

"He lost his family, Kensi," Sam said sadly. "We're his family now. He feels responsible for us…he doesn't want to lose us too…"

She nodded. "I guess you'd better go," she said softly.

"Deeks is about a half hour away. I'll be back with him as soon as I can."

"Good luck, Sam," Kensi said, watching him as he disappeared back into the woods. At least Deeks had been found, but she really wouldn't feel at ease until he was back and she was holding him in her arms again.

xxxxx

Callen was moving about restlessly in his sleep when suddenly his eyes opened and he focused them on Kensi. He stared at her for a long moment before speaking. "Momma?"

Kensi looked at Callen in surprise, unsure of how to respond to him. Out of anything he could have said to her, she had not expected this. The fever was really doing a job on his mental status. However, she was glad he no longer considered her to be his enemy. She knew she would be unable to stop him if he tried to leave. "Everything's okay," she said softly as she resoaked the bandage that had been on his forehead and used it to gently bathe his face.

"Where are we?" he asked, looking at her with open curiosity.

"I…we're on a camping trip. We found this old plane to stay in."

He looked around, appearing to be impressed. "This is pretty cool." Then he took note of her leg. "What happened to you? Is your leg broken?" He looked upset as he asked the questions.

"I hurt my ankle, but it's not bad," she said with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry."

He nodded but then looked concerned again. "I don't feel so good. I'm really hot. Am I sick?"

"You're a little bit sick," Kensi answered. "But you're going to be alright. I do need you to take some medicine for me though, okay?"

He wrinkled up his nose at that. "I don't like medicine. Does it taste gross?"

Kensi laughed. "No. You just need to swallow some pills but they're very small. I know you can do it."

"Okay," he said nodding.

"Good boy," Kensi responded automatically. "Can you sit up?"

He nodded again, wincing as he did so. "My stomach hurts."

"I know it does," Kensi said sympathetically. "You'll feel better soon though, okay?" She shook four ibuprofen tablets from the bottle into her hand and handed them to him along with a bottle of water. "Take one at a time."

"That's a lot of medicine," he said as he swallowed the first tablet.

"I know it is, but it will make you feel better faster."

He swallowed the other three tablets one by one and then looked at her proudly. "I did it."

"Yes you did," Kensi said. "Good job. Now just try to drink a little bit more water. It will help keep you cooler."

Callen obediently drank a few more swallows of water then handed the bottle back to Kensi. "I'm tired now," he said, his voice only a little above a whisper.

"You should get some sleep. It will make you feel better." Kensi supported his back as he lied back down. "I'll stay right here with you."

"Thank you," Callen said sleepily as his eyes closed. "I love you, momma."

"I love you too," Kensi said as her eyes filled with tears. She felt exceedingly sad for a little boy who had lost his mother and hadn't had her there for him when he had been sick or hurt or just needed a hug. She couldn't help but wonder when life would start to deal him a better hand.

xxxxx

"Hey Deeks, you still down there?"

"You're a funny guy, Sam."

Sam started to fashion a harness the best way he could with what he had, then lowered the rope down to Deeks. He then turned the flashlight on and shined it down on Deeks so he could better see what he was doing. Deeks stepped into the harness and Sam instructed him how to tighten it. It was awkward with the use of only one arm, but he managed to get it done.

"Okay, you good?" Sam asked. He had tied his end of the rope to a nearby tree as an extra safety measure and was getting ready to pull.

"I think so," Deeks said, a little nervously. "I'll try to help you."

"Just make sure you stay in the harness, Deeks. We don't want to risk you taking another fall."

"I will." Deeks agreed with Sam on that point. It wasn't like Sam could hop down and help him if anything went wrong.

It was a struggle, but eventually Sam got Deeks up to the top of the hole. He grabbed him and pulled him onto safe ground. "Thanks, Sam," Deeks said breathlessly. "You really saved my ass."

"Nice eye, Deeks," Sam said, inspecting the younger man. His eye was very swollen and almost completely closed. "You're a mess."

"Courtesy of your partner," Deek stated with a faint smile.

"Kensi told me," Sam said. "Come on. Let's get you out of this harness." Sam deftly went to work and Deeks was free of the rope before he knew it. "You okay to walk?"

"Yeah, my legs are fine."

"Good," Sam said gruffly. "Let's get going. I'll take a look at your shoulder when we're back at camp. We should get there before dark."

"How's Callen doing?" Deeks asked as they headed on their way. He was almost afraid to ask the question. He still felt guilty that Callen had taken off under his watch.

"He's not doing great," Sam admitted. "Still feverish, nightmares, hallucinating…" He gave Deeks a sideward glance. "It's not your fault he got away, you know. I don't blame you."

Deeks shook his head. "I blame me."

"Well don't, Deeks. I understand that you didn't want to hurt him. He really clocked you. Don't worry about it. There wasn't much you could have done."

"So… did you tie him up?" Deeks asked.

"What? No… he wasn't even conscious when I found him. Anyhow, I don't think I could have tied him up…he's already suffering enough…" Sam said, inwardly shuddering at the thought.

"I know, Sam, but what if he regains consciousness and he's still whacked out? Kensi isn't going to be able to stop him if he tries to leave again."

"Well, let's hope that doesn't happen. Anyhow, it's too late to worry about it now." Deeks had given him yet another thing to think about though and Sam picked up the pace a bit at that point. He really hoped that his partner would still be in camp when they returned.

xxxxx

"Deeks!" Kensi was beaming as Deeks and Sam walked back into camp and headed over to the plane.

"Hey, Kens," Deeks approached his girlfriend and gingerly leaned down to hug her. "It sure is good to see you. Are you doing okay?"

"I think it's me who should be asking you that," Kensi said, looking at him apprehensively. "Sam said you hurt your shoulder? How bad is it?"

Deeks shook his head. "It's not that bad…I'll be good as new before you know it."

"Are you Dr. Deeks, now?" Sam asked with a grin.

"You've got to admit that Dr. Deeks has a nice ring to it," Deeks said, smiling. "It would be good for a sitcom or a reality show."

"Definitely a sitcom," Sam said, but then his attention went to Callen who appeared to be sleeping soundly. "How's he been doing, Kensi?"

"He's still pretty out of it."

"He didn't try to hurt you, did he?" Deeks asked, looking troubled.

"No." Kensi shook her head adamantly. "He didn't hurt me. He was very sweet…" She looked at Deeks and then at Sam. "He thought he was still a little boy…and that I was his mother…"

"His mother? Seriously?" Deeks wasn't really sure what to make of that. "Guess he is still pretty out of it…"

"I got him to take some ibuprofen, Sam," Kensi said, "and he drank some water."

"That's good at least," Sam said, but he was finding this latest report about Callen's mental state to be more than a little bit disturbing. He sighed and headed into the demolished passenger cabin. He began searching through the rubble until he found his go bag. He rummaged through the contents and pulled out one of his t-shirts which he folded up and doused with a partly filled bottle of water. "I wish we had ice," he said to Deeks, "but hopefully, this helps a little bit." He ripped Deeks' shirt away from his shoulder and took a look at it for the first time. It was swollen and discolored in varying shades of red and purple. "Can't really tell how bad this injury is," Sam stated as he carefully placed the compress on Deeks' shoulder. He then went through the contents of the first aid kit until he found a sling. "I'll be as gentle as I can," he said as he skillfully moved Deeks' arm into the sling.

Deeks grimaced in pain as Sam manipulated his arm and shoulder, but once it was in position, the pain eased somewhat. "Thanks, Sam…for everything."

"You're welcome, Deeks," Sam replied with a nod. "I'm really glad you're back."

"Not half as glad as I am to be back."

"I'm going to grab some wood and get the fire going again," Sam stated. "You just take it easy." With that he headed off to prepare for nightfall.

xxxxx

The night passed uneventfully. Deeks had a hard time falling asleep because of his shoulder, but he was still just grateful that he had been found. He had a warm fire, a blanket, Kensi and his friends. It was a hell of a lot better than being alone in the pit with the animal skeleton. Sam awoke periodically, but Callen seemed to be peacefully sleeping which was a welcome change.

When Sam awoke, Deeks and Kensi were both already up, having a whispered conversation. "Good morning Deeks, Kensi," Sam said as he sat up and stretched. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Kensi replied.

"Me too," said Deeks.

Sam rolled his eyes but didn't contradict them. "Sure wish we had something more substantial to eat," he said. He was hungry but the fruit cups were gone and now they basically just had chips and protein bars.

"No kidding," Deeks agreed. "It would be great for a food truck to pull up right about now."

"I don't even want to talk about food," Kensi said with a sigh. "I would kill for a chocolate bar."

"Well, you're going to have to settle for a protein bar," Sam stated, tossing one over to her. He then turned towards her partner. "Hey Deeks, take some ibuprofen. It'll help with the pain." Sam had been observing the younger agent for the past several minutes and it was obvious to him that Deeks was experiencing a fair amount of discomfort.

Deeks looked at the bottle of pills in Sam's hand. One hundred tablets and that was if the bottle had been full to begin with, which he wasn't sure about. Callen had been taking anywhere from two to four tablets at a time and Kensi had been taking some tablets as well. The pills weren't going to last long if he started taking them too. "No thanks. I'm good."

Sam looked at Deeks sharply as he thrust the bottle at him. "You're not good, Deeks. Here take a couple."

"Can I talk to you for a minute, in private?" Deeks whispered with a pointed look in Callen's direction as he painstakingly got to his feet.

"What is it, Deeks?" Sam asked after they had walked over towards the plane.

"Sam… we have no idea how long we're going to be here. We need the ibuprofen to help keep Callen's fever down. What happens if we run out before we find a way out of this mess? I can take a little bit of pain. These are much more important for him than they are for me."

"Taking a couple here and there won't matter," Sam protested halfheartedly.

Deeks shook his head emphatically. "You know I'm right, Sam. Trust me…I'm going to feel a lot worse if I take them than if I don't." He refused to be the reason that Callen got worse.

Sam nodded. "Okay, but if you need them…"

"I won't."

"Thank you, Deeks." Sam knew that Callen would be pissed off if he knew about this, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him and could very well help him.

The two men headed back to Callen and Kensi and Sam was surprised to see Callen's eyes on him.

"Hey…" Sam said to Callen, unsure if he even knew who he was. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel better, Sam," Callen replied, easing himself into a sitting position.

"You look better," Sam observed. He was afraid to get his hopes up, realizing how quickly fevers and symptoms could come and go, but he was grateful for anything he could get at this point.

"Can I have some water?" Callen asked.

"Of course, G." Sam quickly grabbed a bottle and handed it to his partner.

Callen took the bottle from Sam but his attention was now on Deeks. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Uh…I got lost and fell in a pit," Deeks answered.

"It looks like you got punched," Callen stated.

Deeks shrugged. "Might look like that, but I fell in a pit. I'd still be there now if your partner hadn't rescued me."

"Yeah, well Sam's pretty good at rescuing people," Callen said before taking a long drink of water and flashing a smile at his partner which Sam returned.

"Mind if I take your temperature, G?" Sam figured now was the time to ask while Callen seemed to be in a relatively good mood.

"Okay." Callen obediently put the thermometer under his tongue and glanced at it after it beeped before handing it off to Sam.

"100.3," Sam said with a smile. "That's good, G. That's really good." Granted, it was still a fever, but his temperature was much lower than it had been. He just hoped they could keep it down. "Here," he said, handing Callen the bottle of ibuprofen. "Take two for now. Let's try to keep ahead of it."

Callen took the tablets and then gave Sam a questioning look. "So… what's been going on besides Deeks falling into a pit?" he asked. "I take it we're nowhere closer to getting rescued?"

"No." Sam shook his head. "I'm actually going to head out now and see if I can find any open areas where we could be spotted. You need anything before I go?"

"No, I'm good," Callen answered. He wished he was well enough to accompany his partner. He didn't like being stuck at camp feeling like an invalid. "Be careful, Sam."

"I will. You just rest and take it easy, G," Sam said, patting his shoulder. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

Callen nodded as Sam said his goodbyes to Deeks and Kensi and watched as his partner went off into the woods once again.

xxxxx

Sam made his way through the woods, exploring further than he had on other such excursions. His brain was on overload as he walked. He thought about his family, about Callen's condition, about Kensi and Deeks and their injuries and the fact that they might never be found. He was trying hard to keep his spirits up, as well as the spirits of his teammates, but truth be told, it was difficult. It wasn't easy to keep a positive spin on things when they weren't catching any kind of a break at all except for broken bones. He had just decided that maybe it was time to head back when he saw it, in his eyes, the most beautiful lake and stretch of open beach that he had ever seen.

"Guess maybe we caught a break after all," he said to himself with a smile.


	7. Chapter 7

_Just wanted to give a little shout out to: JaniceS,_ _knirbenrots,_ _Skippy,_ _cjanff_ _,_ _Cheryl,_ _Ash9,Caroline, country girl,_ _Marta Kensi Deeks,_ _Marcy_ _, Amjm,_ _lachicarebelde22, French fan and any past and guest reviewers. I really appreciate you taking the time let me know you are reading_ _and enjoying the story, especially those of you who have been reviewing multiple chapters. It's very motivating to me. Thank you so much :)_

xxxxx

"Hey guys, I have good news," Sam stated as he walked back into camp, a smile on his face.

"The food truck came after all?" Deeks asked.

"What is it, Sam?" Kensi asked after giving Deeks a mock punch on his good arm.

"I found a lake and a good stretch of sand as well," Sam said. "It's a nice, big, open area. There's plenty of room for us to set up some good signals and for a helicopter to land."

"Hey that's great!" Deeks said enthusiastically. "Maybe now someone will spot us."

"That's the plan."

"How far is it?" Kensi asked.

"It's not too far," Sam said, not wanting to discourage anyone. His eyes went to his partner and he was disappointed to see he was asleep again. He knew it was probably the best thing for him, but the fact that he needed to sleep so much wasn't good. It definitely wasn't Callen. "So…has he been sleeping the whole time I've been gone?"

Deeks shook his head. "No. He was awake for a little while."

"Did he eat anything?"

Deeks and Kensi exchanged uneasy glances and neither of them answered the question.

"So I guess that's a no," Sam said.

"He probably doesn't have much of an appetite, Sam," Kensi said softly.

"I know that, but he still needs to eat." Now that he was thinking about it, Sam couldn't remember the last time he had seen his partner eat anything.

Three pairs of eyes all looked in Callen's direction as he moaned softly and moved restlessly in his sleep. "I'm going to bring some supplies over to the beach," Sam said. He knew there was no way they could move themselves and supplies in one trip. "Probably better for G to get some more rest before we go anyway." He hoped his partner was up for the walk. It wasn't too far, but it was far enough and it wouldn't be an easy trek for him. He grabbed the canvas bag and began refilling it with the supplies that were strewn about on the ground.

xxxxx

"Sam's good mood didn't last very long," Deeks said quietly after the man had headed off to the beach, well loaded with supplies.

"He's worried," Kensi said. "You can't blame him."

"Yeah, I know," said Deeks, running his hand through his hair in obvious frustration. "I wish I hadn't been so stupid, falling into that damn pit."

"You weren't stupid, Deeks," Kensi said. "It was a trap, set for a reason. How were you supposed to know?"

"It was a trap set for animals," Deeks said. "I should have been more aware. If I had been, I could be of more help to Sam." He felt useless now and he hated it.

"Deeks, please don't beat yourself up over this," Kensi pleaded. "We have so many more important things to worry about. It just doesn't help."

"I know," Deeks said, giving her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. In his head, he knew that what Kensi was saying was true. It was just trying to get the rest of him to believe it that was the problem.

xxxxx

Sam came back feeling a little bit better. He had decided to take advantage of the alone time at the lake and had gone for a swim. It had been a bit chilly, but he felt better and definitely cleaner. It had helped to clear his head. "How are you guys doing?" he asked

"We're good, Sam," Deeks said.

Sam nodded. "The water isn't too cold if you decide to take a dip," Sam said. "You want me to go grab some of your clothes from the plane?" He knew he wanted to change into something clean. He hadn't liked putting his filthy clothes back on after being in the water.

"I can help you," said Deeks as he got to his feet.

Sam nodded. "Okay, thanks."

"We'll just take one bag," Sam said as he grabbed his. He stripped off the Henley he was wearing, took some fresh items from the bag and quickly changed. In the meantime, Deeks located his and Kensi's bags and took a few items of clothing from each and brought them over to Sam who was searching for Callen's bag, which he quickly found. They then stuffed the clothing into Sam's bag and zipped it up.

"I can carry it," Deeks said as he grabbed the bag.

"Its okay, Deeks," Sam said. "Kensi can just hold it."

"Come on, Sam," Deeks said. "You don't have to keep playing Superman. I know you're strong, but it's still not easy to carry a person through the forest. Let me do this. I'm just sorry I can't help you with Kensi or Callen."

"Don't worry about me, Deeks," Sam said. "I'm doing just fine." He did relent though and allowed Deeks to take the bag. Kensi could hold a few bottles of water for the walk. He took one last look around the plane. "I guess we're good for now. I can always come back if I need to. Come on…I'm going to go wake up G."

xxxxx

"You think you're going to be able to make it?" Sam's expression was worried as he spoke to Callen. There really was no other way. Now that Deeks had become a member of the injured agent club, Callen needed to do this.

"I'm good, Sam… I can walk," Callen answered smoothly. It was time to play a character. He needed to be tough and strong and in control. He could do that. It was what he did. Besides, even if Kensi wasn't hurt, there was no way in hell he was going to let Sam carry him as long as he was conscious.

"Okay…" Sam had his doubts but he had to carry Kensi. "Let's get going…"

xxxxx

Callen focused his attention on putting one foot in front of the other and staying upright. He was sweating profusely and his legs felt like rubber. It seemed that his body was betraying him in a thousand different ways. He didn't really know how long they had been walking for, but he was pretty sure it was a shorter amount of time than it seemed. He was beyond relieved when Sam called out for them to take a break and he gratefully sank to the ground.

Sam gently put Kensi down and looked at the ragtag group of agents. Callen looked like he was on his last legs and Kensi and Deeks were in obvious pain. He made his way to his partner and handed him a bottle of water. "You hanging in there, G?" he asked, trying to mask his concern.

"I'm good." Callen hesitated just briefly enough for Sam to know that he was anything but good.

"It's not too much further," Sam stated, giving him an encouraging pat on his shoulder.

Callen nodded, inwardly hoping he would have the stamina to make it the rest of the way. He drank some water and hoped his definition of not too much further didn't differ too drastically from Sam's.

xxxxx

"Hey, Kensi." Deeks tried to smile but it was more of a grimace as he sat down beside her.

"You really ought to take some ibuprofen for your shoulder," Kensi whispered looking at him in concern.

Deeks raised an eyebrow. "I could say the same to you." After Kensi had figured out what Deeks was doing, she had stopped taking the pills as well.

Kensi shook her head. "Sam's carrying me everywhere. It's not that bad for me."

"Well, I'm good too," Deeks responded.

She rolled her eyes but let the matter drop as she looked over at Sam. "How much farther is it?" she asked. She felt awful that Sam was being forced to carry her. He never complained yet she knew it couldn't be easy for him. She also knew that if they did manage to get out of this mess, it would all be because of him. He had been amazing during this crisis.

"We should be there soon," Sam said vaguely. It was hard to tell exactly how much longer it would be. When he had found the location by himself, he had been moving along a lot faster than he was now. He looked at Callen whose eyes had closed and he appeared to be dozing once again. Sam tentatively reached out and placed his hand on his forehead. Callen's eyes immediately popped open and he swatted Sam's hand away.

"I'm fine, Sam."

Sam didn't say anything but he noted the telltale flush on G's cheeks and knew his temperature was rising again. He glanced at his watch and saw that he was about due to take some more ibuprofen. He shook the tablets into his hand and silently handed them to his partner. "Thanks." Callen put the tablets into his mouth and downed them with a swallow of water.

"We should get going," Sam said as he stood up. He went over to Deeks and spoke softly. "Do you mind walking with G?" he asked softly.

Deeks nodded. "No problem, Sam." He watched as Callen slowly stood up then he casually positioned himself beside him, keeping his good arm on the side of the agent. Sam picked up Kensi and the group once again started on their way.

xxxxx

Callen pretty much collapsed in a heap when they finally reached the lake.

"You okay, G?" Sam asked as he settled Kensi on the ground and Deeks sat down next to his partner.

"Yeah," Callen answered. He was clearly exhausted though as he sat silently, his eyes on the lake.

"This is beautiful, Sam," Deeks' eyes sparkled as he looked out at the water. Here, one could almost pretend that everything was okay. At least they didn't have the remains of the plane as a constant reminder of what had taken place.

"I'm going to collect some firewood," Sam said. "We need to make signal fires." Sam could see his partner was getting worse again. He had realized this was likely to happen, but it was still very disheartening.

"I'm going to help him, Kensi," Deeks said, getting to his feet. He still had one usable arm. He could at least do this. He went over to where Sam was gathering wood and started to do the same.

"Thanks, Deeks." Sam gave the younger man a grateful smile. Truth be told, he was pretty damn tired and he knew his muscles would be sore the following day. They built three fires in the shape of a triangle, which was a known distress sign. Sam could only hope they would be spotted very soon.

xxxxx

"Hey G. How about a protein bar?" Sam asked as he casually held it out towards his partner.

"Thanks." Callen said with false enthusiasm. He took the bar, ripped open the wrapper and took a small bite. It couldn't have been any more unappealing than if he was eating sandpaper, but he knew he needed to try to eat to keep his waning strength up. He also couldn't stand to see the constant look of concern in Sam's eyes whenever he looked at him. He forced himself to chew, swallow and repeat. Finally, after what had been quite a struggle on his part, Callen finished eating the bar. It felt like a lump of lead in his stomach. He just hoped he could keep it down.

Sam appreciated Callen's effort to eat but decided not to make a huge deal out of it. He knew babying him would only serve to irk his partner. "So, G…"

Callen met his partner's eyes, already suspecting what he was going to say.

"Best way to try to keep that nasty infection under control is to change the packing at least once a day…"

To his credit, Callen managed to keep his face expressionless as he nodded. "Okay."

Sam gave Callen a long look. He hated having to hurt him but it was a necessary evil. "No time like the present, I guess…You ready?"

Callen nodded as he stretched out on the ground. "Sure, Sam…Do what you have to do…"

xxxxx

Callen made a concerted attempt not to react as Sam changed the packing on his wound. He had been so out of it lately, but was pretty sure he had been the cause of a fair amount of difficulty for his partner and the others. He needed to start being more of a help than a hindrance.

"You good?" Sam asked as he finished up and looked worriedly at Callen.

"Yeah," Callen nodded. "I'm good. Thanks, Sam."

"You're welcome. You should rest now, G."

"Okay." It seemed to Callen that all he did was rest but he knew he wasn't going to be of much usefulness until he regained some of his strength. He seemed to be constantly exhausted and in pain. Deciding it didn't really help to fight the overwhelming tiredness, he allowed his eyes to close and quickly drifted off.

"How is he?" Kensi asked as both she and Deeks turned their eyes toward Sam.

"Well, he still knows who we are at least, so that's a plus," Sam answered with a shrug. "I know he's hiding how he really feels, but that seems to be par for the course with everyone." He looked back at the two agents pointedly.

"I'm okay, Sam," Kensi stated.

"Me too," said Deeks.

"Don't even." Sam shook his head. "All I ask is if either of you starts to get any kind of worsening symptoms, would you please tell me? I understand you're trying to help G, but you need to be sensible about it as well. This situation is bad enough as it is. We don't need to be making it worse.

The two younger agents both nodded, their eyes serious.

"Good." Sam knew that he could trust them.

They sat in silence for a few long minutes until Sam turned his attention to Kensi who was staring longingly out at the lake. "You want to take a dip, Kensi?" Sam asked.

"You don't mind?" Kensi asked, her expression brightening.

"Of course not," Sam said, eager to do anything that would make their plight a little more bearable. "Might help you feel better."

Deeks immediately began riffling through Sam's bag to get them each something clean to wear, a wide grin on his face. He had been dying to get into the water, but since he couldn't carry Kensi, he hadn't broached the subject. He bundled up the clothes into a blanket and looked at Sam expectantly. "I'm all set."

Sam removed his shoes and rolled up his pants, then removed the pillow splint from Kensi's leg. "Okay, Kensi, are you ready?"

Kensi nodded eagerly and Sam lifted her up into his arms. The trio then headed down to the edge of the lake. Sam walked out into the water and gently put Kensi down when it was deep enough for her to float. "Ooh, It's cold," she said as she wrapped her arms around Deeks' waist. "But it feels so good just to be able to move around. I feel so light and free." She laughed and playfully swam around Deeks.

"My own personal little mermaid," Deeks said with a grin.

"Okay, I'm going to leave you guys," Sam said, smiling. At least he had made them feel a little bit better. "Just let me know when you want me to come and get you. Have fun."

"Thanks, Sam," Kensi said, giving him an appreciative look.

"Any time, Kensi."

xxxxx

"So… Deeks smiled flirtatiously and watched her as she glided gracefully through the water. "This is really nice, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's nice but no fooling around. Sam might be watching."

Deeks' smile quickly turned to a look of disappointment. "Oh come on, Kensi. Sam left us alone here. He's not going to be watching us."

Kensi shook her head, a look of amusement on her face. "Sorry Deeks. I just want to try to get cleaned up."

"Kensi, you're killing me here."

"I think you'll survive," Kensi said, laughing. She leaned her head back in the water with a contented sigh. "This is so much better than just sitting around waiting to be carried from one place to another."

"Yeah, it is pretty nice." Deeks nodded in agreement, his eyes still on her, thinking how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to have her in his life.

xxxxx

Sam headed back to the campsite and was surprised to see his partner sitting up and watching Deeks and Kensi who were happily frolicking in the water.

"Hey, G," Sam said, unfolding his pants legs which were drenched in spite of his attempt to keep them dry.

"Hey, Sam."

"You alright?" Sam asked, giving Callen an apprehensive look. "You didn't sleep for very long…"

Callen nodded but didn't elaborate. He really didn't think Sam needed to hear about how lousy he was feeling. It wasn't like he could do anything about it. "How's the water?" he asked.

"It's not too bad," Sam said. "You want to go down there? You just have to be careful not to get your wound wet…"

"Maybe later…after they come back…"

"G, you know they won't mind if we go down there…"

"Later, Sam," Callen said, looking troubled.

"Okay…whatever you say." Sam looked at his partner thoughtfully, wishing he could think of some way to get his spirits up.

"Have you heard any planes?" Callen asked suddenly as he turned his head and fixed his gaze on Sam.

"What?"

"Planes, Sam. Have you heard a single plane since we've crashed?" Callen spoke quickly, obviously agitated. "I mean, I know I've been out of it so maybe I missed it but I haven't heard them. Have you? Even if they couldn't spot us because of the trees, we sure as hell would have heard a plane if one flew anywhere in this vicinity."

Sam stared back at Callen as the realization sunk in. He was right. He hadn't heard a single plane since the crash.

"Don't you see?" Callen asked, his expression grim. "Andy knew what he was doing. He flew us off course to God knows where. He wanted to make sure we wouldn't be found. It doesn't matter that you found this beach, Sam. No one's ever going to find us here…"

"You don't know that, G," Sam said, shaking his head. He refused to believe that was true. "Maybe we're just on a route that isn't flown as often as other routes. Someone will find us. We have to believe that."

"I hope you're right, Sam," Callen replied bleakly as an involuntary shudder ran through him. Maybe he would feel differently if he wasn't hurt so badly but his thoughts were becoming darker and he couldn't seem to break free of them. "I really hope you're right…"


	8. Chapter 8

_Some of you mentioned wanting Hetty and the other team members in this story, which was a good idea, but I wasn't sure if I was comfortable writing them yet. In any case, I gave Hetty and the others a little scene. Also, this chapter was getting very long so I split it into two chapters. The other one should be up on Sunday as usual. I'm moving tomorrow which is a huge pain and I need to get back to it now lol. As always, thanks for reading_ :)

xxxxx

Callen had waded out into the water to his thighs and was using a piece of gauze to bathe himself as well as he could. He longed to just submerge his entire body in the water, but he followed Sam's instructions to the letter and didn't allow the wound to get wet. Sam had done so much for him. The least he owed his partner was to do as he asked and make every attempt to fight the infection which had invaded his body.

xxxxx

While Callen was washing up in the lake, Sam was reapplying the pillow splint to Kensi's ankle. "So did you enjoy yourself?" Sam asked, smiling at her.

Freshly bathed and wearing clean clothes, Kensi nodded and returned Sam's smile. "It was perfect, Sam. I feel so much better."

"That's good," Sam replied. He was pleased at how well Kensi was holding up mentally. His gaze drifted out to where Callen was and he was satisfied that he appeared to be doing what he had requested. He then looked over at Deeks whose expression was a combination of pain and frustration as he was trying unsuccessfully to take off his wet shirt. He shook his head and went over to the younger man. "Deeks, stop. Let me help you."

"I can do it," Deeks insisted stubbornly, but his efforts were proving to be futile and he finally stood still.

"You need to be careful," Sam said patiently as he very gently maneuvered Deeks' arm and removed his shirt. "We have no idea how badly injured your shoulder is. You don't want to make it worse." Especially when you're not taking any pain killers for it, he added mentally.

"Its fine, Sam," Deeks said, but the pallor of his skin and the look in his eyes contradicted his words.

Sam sighed as he picked up Deeks' clean shirt from the ground and cautiously helped him to put it on, then positioned his arm back in the sling. "Better?"

Deeks nodded. "Yes…thank you, Sam."

"No problem. You take it easy, Deeks."

xxxxx

Callen drank some water and tried not to think about the nausea he was feeling. Instead, he focused on watching Sam who was carving a point on the end of a stick. "Is that a spear you're making, Sam?" he asked.

Sam nodded as he turned toward Callen, glad to see him taking an interest in something. "Yeah, it's getting kind of late now, but tomorrow I'm going to try to catch some fish so we can have a decent meal."

"That would be tremendous," Deeks said, breaking into the conversation. "You think you can do it?"

Sam shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

"I'm pretty sure if there are fish out there, that Sam will be able to catch them," Kensi said with a note of certainty in her voice.

Callen's attention drifted once Sam mentioned catching fish to eat. Just the thought of it increased his queasiness. He sighed to himself and decided to turn in for the night. There wasn't much else to do anyways. "I'm going to get some sleep," he said. "Good night, guys."

"Good night, Callen," said Kensi and Deeks.

"Good night, G." Sam's eyes followed Callen as he moved in closer to one of the fires, curled up in a blanket and settled down for the night. He really wished his partner would start feeling better. "How about some delicious protein bars for dinner?" Sam suggested to the two younger agents who both nodded. Sam put the spear aside, got the protein bars and handed them to Kensi and Deeks. They then ate a mostly silent dinner by the light of the moon and signal fires.

xxxx

When he awoke the following morning, Callen immediately knew that he had taken a turn for the worse. The pain in his stomach had intensified dramatically and he felt extremely nauseous. He was also freezing and he couldn't stop shivering. He pulled the blanket tighter around his body and tried not to call attention to himself.

xxxxx

Sam squatted at the edge of the lake as he filled the empty plastic container with water. The sun was just rising and the sky was a kaleidoscope of red, orange and yellowish hues. Sam couldn't help but gaze at it for a few moments and think that if they weren't in such dire straits that this would actually be a peaceful and beautiful place to spend some time. Under their present circumstances though, it was anything but. He walked back to the others and put some firewood on the fires then put a water purification tablet into the water container. He then settled down on the ground by Callen. Kensi and Deeks were still asleep. Kensi's head was resting on Deeks' chest and he had his good arm protectively wrapped around her. Sam's attention then went to Callen and he could feel his stomach sink when he saw the way he was huddled under the blanket, laying on his side with his back to Sam. "G?"

When he heard Sam speak, Callen's first thought was to try to control his shivering and pretend he was still asleep. He couldn't even begin to pull it off though. He carefully turned onto his back and looked at his partner. "Good morning, Sam…"

Inwardly Sam cursed. He had let his hopes go up that G had been holding his own, but that obviously was not the case. "Not doing so good, are you?"

Callen shook his head, deciding just to be truthful. It was the least he owed his partner. "No…the pain's gotten worse…feel really sick to my stomach…"

Sam fumbled through the first aid kit and pulled out the thermometer which he handed to his partner. Callen took it and put it in his mouth with a sigh. He was so sick of being sick. When it beeped he handed it to Sam without looking at it.

"102.5," Sam stated. He then handed Callen some ibuprofen and water which he quickly swallowed.

"Mind if I take a look?"

Callen hesitated and considered saying no but he knew that would just make Sam feel bad so he finally nodded, albeit reluctantly. "Knock yourself out."

Sam carefully removed the gauze and tape which loosely covered the wound. What he saw did not look good. The inflamed area seemed to have spread and he didn't want to think about whatever was festering inside G's body. His partner's eyes were closed and his fists were clenched in anticipation of whatever Sam was going to do to him. Every time he had to do this, it was becoming more difficult. He was just causing him more pain and it didn't seem to be helping in terms of the infection. "Hey G?"

"Just do it, Sam."

Sam changed the packing as quickly as he could and felt horrible the entire time. He felt like he was kicking a wounded puppy. G didn't really seem to be reacting to what he was doing which was good on one hand, but on the other hand Sam knew it was a very bad sign. When he finished, Callen looked to be pretty out of it and was only semi-conscious. Sam turned away from his partner and saw Deeks staring at him.

"You alright, Sam?" Deeks whispered. "Is Callen worse again?"

Sam didn't answer. Instead, he got to his feet and walked the short distance down to the water's edge. Deeks trailed after him.

"I can't help him," Sam stated as he stared out at the water. His voice was calm but the emotion in his eyes showed his true state. "I can't save him," he whispered.

"What?" Deeks shook his head. "No, Sam…You don't know that. You can't give up on him."

Sam sighed deeply. "Except for Michelle and my kids, he's the most important person in the world to me, Deeks. I would never give up on him. I just…I thought he was improving, but he's not. He's just going downhill. He's in a lot of pain and he's weakening. I'm not helping him, Deeks. I don't know what more I can do."

"He knows you're doing everything possible for him…"

Sam's eyes flashed angrily. "It's not enough. He needs to be in a hospital with a bed and doctors and antibiotics, not out here in the middle of nowhere."

"And none of that is your fault. You can't pull a hospital out of thin air, Sam."

"I know that."

"We just have to hope that someone finds us…"

"Before it's too late," Sam finished for him.

xxxxx

" _Uncle Callen? Why did you let my daddy die?" Kamran stared up at G, her innocent eyes looking so sad and hurt._

" _I…I'm so sorry, Kamran," he said. "I would have done anything to save your daddy. I just couldn't."_

" _Our dad would have given his life for you," Aiden said accusingly. "It's too bad his partner couldn't have done the same." He practically spat out the word partner and the look in his eyes was pure hatred. "I thought you cared about our family like we were your own. Obviously I was wrong."_

" _I do care about your family, Aiden. I love you guys," Callen said._

" _You sure as hell have a funny way of showing it. You will never have a partner who cares about you the way our dad did. He loved you like a brother. I hope your new partner despises you. I hope he turns his back on you someday and you can lie there dying and remembering how it was your fault that our dad is dead." With that, Aiden took Kamran by the hand and the two turned their backs and walked away from Callen._

xxxxx

Callen woke up with a start, his breathing fast and heavy. "Hey man, you okay?" Deeks asked, giving Callen a worried look.

"Where's Sam?" Callen asked, looking around anxiously, his heartbeat speeding up when he didn't find him.

"He went to try to catch some fish." Deeks pointed a short distance away and Callen could see Sam with his spear, standing in the water. "Do you need him?" Deeks asked.

Callen shook his head. "No…no it's fine. I was just wondering where he was." Once he had ensured Sam's safety, he managed to calm himself down although he was still troubled by the dream.

xxxxx

"We're actually going to have something decent for lunch," Sam called out as he walked back into camp carrying two fish.

"Great job, Sam," Kensi said.

"Nice," Deeks said admiringly. "You actually did it."

"Did you doubt I would?" Sam asked with a smirk. "Kensi didn't doubt me." He put the fish down and started searching through the canvas bag, hoping to find a pan of some sort. He didn't have any luck though. "Guess we'll be doing some hot stone cooking. Hey, Deeks?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to clean this fish. Do you want to try to find some stones for me and some more brush and sticks to build another fire?"

"Another fire?" Deeks asked in confusion. Four fires seemed like overkill to him. "Can't we just cook on one of the ones we already have?"

Sam shook his head. "We're not going to keep this one lit. It's only to heat up the stones you're going to gather and then we're going to cook the fish on the stones. Try to find non-porous stones, if you can, harder stones, not soft ones and don't get ones with lots of holes in them."

Deeks nodded. "Okay, Sam. You're the expert." He walked off and began to gather brush and sticks, a task he finished quickly. He then returned to camp to find that Kensi had already been searching and digging in the sand and had gathered a nice stockpile of stones already. "Doing my job for me, Agent Blye?" Deeks joked.

"I figured this was the least I could do," Kensi said, smiling up at Deeks, happy that she had been able to contribute in some small way.

"Now we're going to make a bed with the stones," Sam explained to Kensi and Deeks, "and then build the fire on top of it. We'll let the fire burn for an hour or so to get the stones good and hot."

"And then cook the fish on the stones?" Deeks asked.

"That's right," said Sam. "And then we're going to have some nice hot fish for lunch."

"I can hardly wait," Deeks said and just at that moment his stomach rumbled as if to illustrate the point.

"I guess you can't," Kensi said, giggling.

Sam smiled too as he worked on building the fire, but then his gaze shifted to Callen and his smile disappeared. He wondered if he'd be able to coax his partner to eat something.

"I think he had another nightmare when you were gone," Deeks told Sam.

"Well that can happen when you're as sick as he is," Sam snapped.

Deeks nodded calmly. "Yes, I understand that…I just thought you'd want to know."

Sam sighed. "You're right, Deeks. I do want to know. I'm sorry…I just…" he shook his head. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

"No problem, Sam," Deeks said, his eyes filled with sympathy. "I understand."

Xxxxx

Hetty was absolutely beside herself. Her team seemed to have vanished into thin air. The more time that went by, the more worried she became. "Owen? Surely there is more that can be done to find them."

Owen shook his head. "They're doing everything they can, Henrietta. There are only so many people they can put on this."

"You can't call in any favors?" Hetty asked her eyes piercing as she stared at him. She felt helpless in this situation and she did not do helpless well. "There's always more that can be done. You just need to find the right people to do it."

"Trust me. The right people are on this. We have to be patient."

"That's easy for you to say, Owen. Do you even care if they're found?"

Owen's eyes darkened with fury. "That was a low blow. Just because I don't think of myself as their mother, doesn't mean I don't care, Henrietta."

"I do not think of myself as their mother," she protested halfheartedly. She sighed softly, knowing that he did care about them. "I apologize, Owen. Of course you want them to be found." She then turned her attention to Eric and Nell who were pretending not to listen, but very obviously were. "Mr. Beale? Have you and Miss Jones discovered anything of interest?"

Eric shook his head. He kept relaying the same information over and over again. "Sorry Hetty, either their phones are dead or out of range. There's not really anything we can determine from our end. "

"I understand, Mr. Beale. Please keep me apprised of any developments." With that, she and Owen left Ops.

Nell turned towards Eric after they had left. "Eric? Do you think they'll find them alive?" she asked, a forlorn expression on her face.

"I do," Eric said as he pulled Nell toward him and gave her a comforting embrace. "They're smart and strong, Nell. I think they'll be home safe very soon."


	9. Chapter 9

_I am so sorry for the long wait between chapters. After a move from hell which involved my cat hiding in a wall for days, a missing laptop cord and then my laptop dying after I got the new cord, it has not been fun. Things are better now though and I'm happy to be back to the story. As always, really appreciating all your reviews and hope you're continuing to read and enjoy._ _J_

xxxxx

"That smells so good," Kensi said, inhaling deeply as she eagerly waited for the fish to be fully cooked.

"It really does." Deeks nodded in agreement. He couldn't remember the last time he had anticipated a meal as much as this one, except maybe for Thanksgiving dinners.

Sam chuckled. "I hope you guys aren't disappointed. "I'm not sure how great this is going to be."

"It doesn't matter, Sam," Kensi said, putting her hand lightly on his arm. "It's going to be much better than anything we've had to eat since the crash. We're going to love it."

Sam nodded and then made his way over to his partner. He had inwardly debated just allowing him to sleep, but then had decided to at least make the attempt to get him to eat. "Hey G?" he said, shaking Callen's shoulder gently.

Callen struggled to open his eyes and it took a few moments for him to fully orient himself. "What's up, Sam?" he asked.

"I think the fish is ready. You feel like eating?"

Callen's stomach flip flopped at the thought of it, but he nodded. "Okay."

Sam smiled. "We don't have any plates but we have the plastic forks so you can just take as much as you want," he said, handing his partner a fork.

"Thanks," Callen said as he took the fork. He then slowly got up off the ground and made his way over to join the others.

"Just dig in guys," Sam said as he gave forks to Kensi and Deeks.

Deeks was eager to take a forkful but he deferred to Kensi. "Ladies first."

"Why, thank you, Deeks." Kensi smiled and put her fork into the fish, coming away with a flaky chunk which she immediately put into her mouth. "Mmm…." She said appreciatively. "It's really good, Sam."

Right after Kensi had eaten some, Deeks took a generous helping of fish and put it in his mouth. "Oh Sam, you have outdone yourself. This is superb."

"Glad you like it," Sam said, a pleased smile on his face.

Callen poked his fork into the fish and came away with a small portion which he put into his mouth. "It's delicious, Sam," he said, feigning enthusiasm. It's not that it wasn't good, he just didn't really feel like eating anything. He just didn't have an appetite. On his fourth mouthful of fish, he realized it wasn't going to stay down. He got to his feet as fast as he could, and fighting dizziness, made it a fair distance away from the others before he sank to his knees and got violently ill. There was basically nothing in his stomach, so it was mostly painful dry heaves. Finally, it was over. He clutched his stomach and took deep breaths as he tried to compose himself. He didn't even realize Sam was behind him until he felt his supportive hand on his shoulder.

"I'm alright, Sam," he said softly as he struggled to his feet. His rubbery legs contradicted his words though as they gave out and Sam grabbed him to keep him from hitting the ground.

"I've got you, G," Sam said as he steadied Callen. "Come on…you should get some rest."

Callen didn't protest . He allowed Sam to lead him over to the area where he slept, studiously avoiding the concerned eyes of Kensi and Deeks. "I'm sorry, Sam," he said as he tried to get comfortable under the blanket.

"Sorry?" Sam asked, clearly confused. "Why are you sorry?"

"I should have just told you I wasn't hungry."

"I shouldn't have even asked you," Sam said quietly, wishing he had just let him sleep. "I knew you didn't want to eat, G. I was just trying to keep your strength up…" For all he knew, his partner shouldn't even be eating. The knife wound was in Callen's stomach. Who knew what kind of damage had been done?

"I know you're just trying to help me, Sam," Callen said. He was just pretty sure there wasn't anything else Sam could do for him though. He sighed softly, his expression despondent. "I really wish someone would find us."

"So do I, G," Sam said. "Believe me, so do I…"

xxxxx

Kensi and Deeks sat in silence, the remainder of the fish going untouched as it slowly cooled.

"You should eat, Kensi," Deeks finally said.

Kensi shook her head. "I've had enough." She shifted her position and cringed as a sharp pain radiated from her ankle up her leg.

Deeks looked at her, concern clearly written all over his face. "You should take some ibuprofen…I know it won't help much, but at least it might take the edge off a little bit."

"Really, Deeks?" Kensi asked, a touch of exasperation in her voice. "I haven't seen you take any."

Deeks stared back at her. "I don't have any broken bones."

"You don't even know that. You don't have any idea what's wrong with your shoulder…You're not a doctor. Do you think I can't take pain because I'm a girl? Is that it?"

Deeks shook his head. "Of course that's not it. You're one of the toughest people I've ever met. I know you can take pain, Kensi. I just don't like watching you go through it. Can't I just be concerned because I love you?"

Kensi's eyes filled with tears as she nodded. "Yes…I'm sorry, Deeks," she said, leaning into him as he wrapped his uninjured arm around her. "I'm just so worried and I'm really scared for Callen. If help doesn't come soon…"

"I know," Deeks said, tightening his grasp on her. "I'm scared for him too."

They sat like that for a few minutes, just holding each other. Then Deeks broke the silence. "Kensi?" he asked softly. "Just how bad is your ankle? Total honesty…"

She sighed softly and didn't answer him at first. Then she spoke. "I think it might be pretty messed up," she admitted. "It hurts a lot."

"I'm sorry, baby," Deeks said, kissing the top of her head. "I hate that you're having to go through this."

"You're hurt too."

"I don't think it's anything compared to what you're going through," Deeks said. "And it definitely doesn't compare to what Callen is going through."

"Hey, you guys didn't eat much," Sam interrupted their conversation as he took a seat on the ground beside them.

"We had enough," Deeks replied. "How is he?"

"He's sleeping," Sam said. He absently speared a piece of fish with a fork, but ended up putting it aside.

"Callen would want you to eat, Sam," Kensi urged gently.

Sam nodded but still made no move to eat the fish. He just couldn't seem to do it. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence he got to his feet. "I'm going to get some sleep. See you guys in the morning."

"Good night, Sam," Kensi said.

"Good night," said Deeks.

They watched as Sam headed back to Callen and settled down near his partner.

"Guess we might as well do the same," Deeks said to Kensi. He retrieved a blanket for them and Kensi pulled the blanket over them and cuddled against him. "I love you, Deeks," she said, kissing him and brushing some of the hair away from his face with her fingers.

"I love you too, Kens," Deeks replied.

xxxxx

Callen did not sleep well. He spent the night being plagued by pain and nightmares and each time he woke up, Sam's eyes always seemed to be on him. He knew he needed to talk to his partner. He had a feeling his time was growing short. "Sam? Can I talk to you for a minute?" Callen had been watching the sun rise and trying to figure out how to broach this difficult subject with Sam. Finally, he decided the direct approach was best.

Sam looked at his partner attentively. "What's up?"

Callen hesitantly began to speak. "Well…I just wanted to say…if this all goes bad…"

"Stop right there," Sam interrupted, shaking his head. "This isn't going to go bad. Someone is going to find us. We're going to get out of this. **You're** going to get out of this."

"Please, Sam?" Callen pleaded softly.

"You giving up on me, G?" Sam asked quietly, his eyes intense as he looked back at his partner.

Callen shook his head. "I'm not giving up. Just let me say this."

Sam sighed heavily and nodded. He mentally noted that G looked nervous, reminiscent of when he played jumpy characters while undercover, but this time Sam knew it was not an act. "Alright, go ahead. I'm listening."

Callen took a deep breath. The edge of the blanket was twisted up in his hands as he fidgeted with it. This wasn't easy to say but he needed to say it. The nightmares he had been having had convinced him just how important it was. He didn't want to leave things unsaid.

"You're my brother, Sam," he began, speaking slowly, his blue eyes filled with emotion. "I grew up with no one to call family and I never imagined that I would find one later in life. I couldn't be closer to you if we had been born brothers. I appreciate how you've always had my back and how you allowed your family to become mine. Anyhow…I just wanted to let you know that…just in case..."

"G…" Sam started but Callen interrupted.

"And Sam…I don't want you to blame yourself, if this does go bad…You've gone well beyond the call of duty since the crash. You've done everything possible to try to save us. No one could have done more."

"You mean the way you've been blaming yourself in all those nightmares you've been having?" Sam asked quietly.

Callen's eyes widened slightly as he shook his head. "What makes you think that?"

"Just things you've been saying in your sleep. Guilt manifests itself in all kinds of ways, G."

"I don't have guilt, Sam," Callen responded, looking very uncomfortable.

Sam nodded slowly. "Well that's good if it's true, G… you shouldn't…none of this is your fault."

"I know that." Callen's answer lacked conviction. Inwardly, he could think of a lot of reasons why this was his fault. Andy hadn't been acting like himself and yet he hadn't been suspicious. Andy was not a trained agent, yet Callen had allowed him to get the upper hand and there was no excuse for it. He also knew that none of this would have happened to begin with if it wasn't for him. He was the reason.

"G…"

Callen came out of his reverie and looked back at Sam whose hand was now firmly on his shoulder.

"G. I think you know I feel the same way," Sam said. "I love you…and my family loves you…Michelle, Kamran and Aiden. You're a part of our lives…a very important part. We would be really broken up if anything were to happen to you."

"Sam…"

Sam shook his head. "My turn to speak now…You said I've gone beyond the call of duty to save you? Well, you'd better damn not let all my hard work go to waste. You will not give up, G…It's simply unacceptable."

"I won't give up, Sam," Callen said softly.

"Promise me, G."

"I promise..."

xxxxx

Sam spent most of the day watching over his sleeping partner as he tried to get past the horrible feeling of foreboding that he had. The sky was overcast as well which was fitting. Deeks and Kensi seemed to sense his mood and basically stayed to themselves, chatting quietly, both appearing somber.

It was 4 in the afternoon when it happened. "Sam?" Callen awoke suddenly and looked at Sam, with an undecipherable expression on his face. "Something's wrong…"

"What do you mean? What is it?" Sam was trying to keep calm in spite of his increasing feeling of dread. He didn't like the look in Callen's eyes.

"I don't know. I can't explain it. I just feel weird…cold…really weak…" Callen was shivering again, partly from being cold, partly from anxiety. He had never felt like this before. "I think…I think this might be it, Sam…"

He didn't want to believe it, but how could he deny what his partner believed to be true? This was Sam's worst fear coming to fruition. He'd always feared this moment, had hoped it wouldn't happen, but now here it was. "Its okay, G…" Sam moved in closer to his partner then pulled him into his arms and wrapped an additional blanket around him tightly. He could still feel him shivering. "I'm right here with you." The last time he had held G like this was when he had been shot down on Venice Beach. It seemed a lifetime ago. At least then, an ambulance had been mere minutes away. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case now.

"Just so you know, Sam…I didn't give up..." Callen said with a slight tremor in his voice. He didn't want to admit it, but he was really scared. He'd always hoped his death would be in the midst of some act of bravery, rescuing someone in a hail of bullets or that it would be quick and he wouldn't even know what happened to him. He hated this. Hated the look on his partner's face, knowing he was breaking his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. The only thing he was glad about was that their positions weren't reversed. He didn't think he could get over losing Sam. He meant everything to him. At least Sam had his family. He'd be able to move on.

"I know you didn't give up…"

"I'm sorry…"

Sam shook his head. It was becoming more and more difficult to hold himself together. At this moment G looked very young and fragile. Sam wanted so badly to protect him but it was out of his hands now. There was nothing more that he could do. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"Tell Hetty…" Tell Hetty what? He didn't know what he wanted Sam to tell her. It should be something profound and meaningful, but he couldn't think of anything. "She was like the mother I never had."

"I'll tell her, G." Hetty would be inconsolable. Sam wasn't even sure if she could recover from this. He was holding himself together by a thread, trying with everything inside of him not to break down. He knew Callen didn't need to see that.

"Tell her…tell her I love her...and Eric and Nell…" He directed his gaze towards Kensi and Deeks. "Love you guys too…sorry I won't be there for your wedding…Be happy…"

"We love you too, Callen," Kensi was only barely able to get the words out. She was very close to losing it. She took Deeks' hand squeezing it tightly. Deeks echoed her words, an audible hitch in his voice.

"I…I thought I would have the chance to go back to see my dad again…" Callen said faintly, looking back at Sam. "He said he'd tell me the reasons why he had to leave me when I was a child. I guess I should have done it sooner…"

"You'll still have that chance, G…" Sam felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He had never seen G so pale. His eyes were dull and his skin looked practically translucent. "I'll go with you. We'll do it really soon. Together, okay?"

A ghost of a smile appeared on Callen's face as he gazed back at Sam. "Best friend ever… Thank you, Sam…for everything…I'm going to miss you…" His eyes locked with Sam's for a long moment, then closed and he became perfectly still. Sam stared at Callen, sure that he had just had the last conversation he would ever have with his partner and best friend…his brother... He was no longer able to hold back his tears.

"Sam?" Kensi was openly crying as Sam stared back at her and Deeks had tears in his eyes as well. "Is he…" She couldn't get herself to say the words.

Sam placed his hand on Callen's neck and his eyes widened in astonishment when he felt the very faint pulse and he heard him take a breath. "He's still alive," Sam stated shakily for their benefit as well as his own.

"He's alive?" Still sobbing, Kensi threw herself against Deeks, momentarily forgetting about his shoulder until he inadvertently groaned. "Oh, I'm sorry, Deeks," she said as she pulled back, laughing and crying at the same time.

"It's okay," Deeks smiled as he pulled her against him, holding her with his good arm. "You okay, Sam?" he asked, looking at the other man with obvious concern in his eyes.

Sam nodded, but he was anything but okay. Callen had thought he was going to die and Sam had believed it as well. He had been lucky this time but he didn't think his partner had many comebacks left in him.

xxxxx

No matter what position he tried to sleep in, Deeks could not get comfortable. The pain in his shoulder was worsening and he was irritable and could feel the beginnings of a headache which he figured was from stress. The ibuprofen was sounding more and more tempting, but he wouldn't allow himself to take even one, especially after what had happened with Callen earlier that day.

"Can't sleep?" Kensi whispered, giving him a troubled look.

"No." Deeks grabbed the canvas bag and dumped the survival supplies on the ground. He then took the bag and tried to fold it up, intending to use it underneath his head and shoulder, hoping that would help. He realized he couldn't fold it properly though as there was something hard inside preventing it. "What the hell?" He grabbed the bag and looked inside, but it was completely empty. Feeling around, he finally discovered a zippered inside pocket. He opened the pocket and pulled out a small, yellow hand-held device. His eyes widened when he read the words on the front of it. "Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah Deeks," Sam looked sluggishly at the younger man. Fatigue was finally catching up with him. He'd been attempting to get some sleep, but instead found himself almost obsessively watching Callen breathe. Callen had not awoken since the earlier episode and Sam suspected his partner had lapsed into a coma. He wondered if each breath G took would be his last. "What is it?"

Deeks silently held the device out to Sam, a hopeful look in his eyes. He was barely able to contain his excitement.

Sam took the device from Deeks, and his expression turned to one of shocked amazement, unable to believe what he now held in his hands… a personal locator beacon. "Oh my God, Deeks…You may have just saved our lives."


	10. Chapter 10

_Hi again. I'm incredibly sorry for the long wait between chapters, but I really struggled with this one and thought I'd never get it done. In any case, thanks as always for all your reviews and nice thoughts. I wish I could thank some of the guest reviewers personally because there were some that just made my day and I appreciate them so much. Also, to the one person who asked about the cat in the wall – it was a real thing. There was a hole in a closet wall where I used to live. He got scared when the movers were in the house and hid inside the wall. He only came out to eat at night when no one was in the house. He finally came out and he's fine now lol_ _I also want to give a special thanks to JaniceS and cjanff. Your notes and encouragement when I was lacking confidence in this story were so helpful and appreciated more than you know._

xxxxx

"What is that?" Kensi looked curiously at the device Sam was holding then switched her attention to Deeks when Sam didn't respond to her question. "Deeks, what did you find?"

"It's a locator beacon," Deeks replied. "It was in a pocket in the bag. If it's working, I think it will get us rescued."

"Oh my God, that's wonderful!" Kensi exclaimed, a huge smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around Deeks and hugged him. "I can't believe we might be found. Sam? Can you tell if it works?"

Sam stared at the device in his hands, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that it had been in the bag all along. His eyes settled on Callen and he was immediately wracked by guilt as he realized all the suffering he could have spared his friend if he had searched the bag more thoroughly on day one.

"Sam?" Deeks looked at the other man, a little confused about why he wasn't taking action and why he didn't appear more excited. "Do you know how to work it?"

"Directions are here on the back," Sam said. He held it up to show Deeks and then passed it back to him. "You found it. You deserve the honor."

"Uh…okay," Deeks was clearly puzzled as he took the locator back from Sam.

"Come on, guys…I don't think it matters who does this," Kensi said impatiently. "I just think we should do it now."

Deeks nodded and quickly read over the instructions. They seemed very simple so he read them over again to be sure he wasn't missing anything. "Not much to it." He extended the antenna of the unit then turned the power switch on which activated a blinking light.

"That's it?" Kensi asked dubiously.

"Yeah…that's all it says," replied Deeks.

"How do we know if it's working?" Kensi asked. "Do they signal us back when they get our signal?"

"It should work," Sam said, trying to inwardly assure himself as well as his friends. "We're out in the open here. They should be able to pick up our signal easily enough. I don't think we'll receive a signal back from them though. We just have to wait." The blinking light gave him hope that the unit was doing what it was supposed to do.

"I wonder how long it will take them to come after us," Deeks said musingly. "Does this give them our exact location?"

Sam shook his head. "There are different kinds. Some of them pinpoint location more accurately than others. We have the signal fires all set though. I think they'll spot us pretty easily once they come out looking for us."

"But they probably won't begin searching until daylight," Kensi said with a small sigh, her worried eyes shifting to Callen's still form.

"He'll be okay," Sam stated with much more certainty in his voice than what he felt inside. Callen had barely moved since he lost consciousness. Sam would even welcome his partner having to endure another nightmare at this point, just so he could hear the sound of his voice. "G's going to pull through this."

"He will pull through," Deeks said, nodding in agreement, his blue eyes fixed on the blinking light of the locator which seemed to have almost a hypnotic effect.

"You guys should try to get some sleep," Sam said. "I'll wake you if I hear anything."

"I don't think I could sleep now even if I wanted to," Deeks said. He was much too amped up to even think about sleeping.

"I know I can't sleep," Kensi stated. She felt very restless and wished she could get up and walk around.

Sam ran his hand over his face and sighed deeply, then turned his gaze to his partner. He took his hand and squeezed it gently. "Hey G…I don't know if you can hear me or not, but if you can, help is coming really soon. You need to hang in there for me, okay? Just hang tough, buddy. I know you can do it." He hoped and prayed that Callen would make it through this. If he didn't, Sam knew that he would never be able to forgive himself.

xxxxx

The remainder of the night passed excruciatingly slowly. Sam resumed his obsessive vigil, keeping a close watch over his partner. Deeks and Kensi were mostly silent, both reluctant to express any excitement over the possible impending rescue with Sam so clearly upset. Finally the sun rose and as it did, expectations for the rescue rose as well.

"I wonder how long it will take," Kensi mused, her head turned up towards the sky.

"Could be minutes…could be hours," Sam replied. There was really no way of knowing. He just hoped it was the former rather than the latter.

"You guys hungry?" Deeks asked as he reached for some protein bars. Kensi nodded and Deeks passed her one. Sam didn't respond. "Sam?" Deeks tried again as he held out one of the bars.

"Thanks." Sam took the bar from Deeks and placed it down on the ground beside him. He made no move to open it.

Deeks sighed and ripped the wrapper off his own protein bar then took a bite. He couldn't help thinking how good it would be to be able to have regular food again. He had never really thought about how lucky they were to have so many available food options. He didn't think he would ever take that for granted again.

xxxxx

The morning seemed to drag on as slowly as the night had passed. The three conscious team members were getting more anxious as time went by with no sign of rescue. "What if it isn't working?" Kensi finally voiced out loud what they had each been thinking.

"It has to be working," Deeks said. "It's blinking… doesn't that mean its working?"

"I would have thought so," Kensi said, "but maybe the signal isn't reaching whoever it needs to reach. Sam? What do you think?"

"I don't know what to think," Sam replied despondently. All he knew was if help didn't get here soon, Callen wasn't going to make it. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of his emotions going up and down like a yo-yo. The whole thing was making him physically sick to his stomach.

"I still say it's working," Deeks insisted. "It hasn't been that long. Help is going to be here soon. I can feel it."

They lapsed into silence again and another 20 minutes went by before Kensi cocked her head, listening intently. "Hey guys, listen. Do you hear that?"

"I don't hear anything," Sam said.

"Me either," Deeks answered with a sigh. This was the fifth time this morning Kensi had thought she heard something. Every time it was a false alarm.

"No. I really heard something this time," Kensi said adamently.

"Wait," Sam held up his hand, signaling the other two to be quiet then whispered, "I hear it too," before quickly getting to his feet and staring upward. Deeks followed his example.

"I still don't…" Deeks started.

"Shh," Sam said, still looking upward. Finally, after what seemed like an endless wait, he pointed with a grin on his face. "There!"

Deeks looked in the direction where Sam was pointing and then smiled widely as he saw a helicopter off in the distance. "Oh my, God, I see it. He bent down to Kensi and kissed her enthusiastically. "You were right, baby!"

"We need to make sure they see us," Sam said as he started waving his arms. Deeks did the same with his one uninjured arm and began jumping up and down.

"Hey, we're here!" Deeks shouted. "They're coming closer. I think they see us!"

"They do see us," Sam said. An incredible feeling of relief swept through him as he watched the helicopter's downward approach. He squatted down next to Callen. "The rescue crew is here, G," he said as he patted his partner's shoulder. "They're going to help you and you're going to be fine, you hear me? You're going to pull through this."

xxxxx

Hetty sat at her desk reading and re-reading a file of paperwork, unable to concentrate on any of it. She had just decided to put it aside when a grim-faced Owen made his way into her office. She immediately knew there was news. "What is it, Owen?" she asked, inwardly bracing herself in anticipation of the worst possibility.

"A signal was received from the locator beacon on the team's flight. A rescue helicopter is currently in route to find them."

"So, I take it there is no information about their condition?" Hetty asked, distressed at this newest development, her head filled with images of a downed aircraft.

Owen shook his head. "No, but this is good news, Henrietta. At least they were able to signal us…"

"Yes," Hetty said with a nod, "but..." She stopped, not wanting to voice the possibility that some of the team members could be badly hurt or worse. Negative thoughts like that wouldn't help. She needed to stay positive. "I need to go to them, Owen. Do they know where they'll be brought?"

He nodded. "They're somewhere in a remote area of Washington state. They'll be brought to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. I've got a private plane on standby. As soon as you're ready to go, we can be on our way."

"We?" Hetty questioned, looking at him curiously. "You're going with me?"

"I care about them too, Henrietta," he stated gruffly. "Whenever you're ready…"

"I'm ready now, Owen," she stated. "Let's go."

xxxxx

It didn't take long before the helicopter landed on the beach, a short distance from the campsite. Sam got to his feet and headed over to meet the three crewmen who disembarked. "Hi, I'm Sam Hanna," he said, extending his hand to the man in the lead. "Boy, am I glad to see you."

"I'm Jack Califano. This is Miguel Borjas and Tommy Peterson," the tall, spiky-haired paramedic said as he shook Sam's hand. "Are any members of your group injured?"

Sam nodded at the other two men. "Yeah, I'm pretty much the only one who's not," Sam replied. "My partner is badly hurt and our other two team members are injured as well."

They reached Callen and Jack immediately squatted down beside him as did Miguel who put down the equipment box he was carrying. Tommy went over to Kensi and Deeks. "So, how long has he been like this?" Jack asked as he placed a blood pressure cuff on Callen's arm.

"He's been unconscious since late yesterday afternoon," Sam answered, nervously watching the men working on his partner.

"Miguel, his blood pressure's really low. Let's get an IV going to get some fluids into him. What happened here?" Jack asked as he carefully removed the gauze from Callen's abdomen.

"He was stabbed on the plane before we crashed," Sam replied.

Both Jack and Miguel appeared troubled when he relayed that information. "Uh, is the assailant in custody?" Miguel asked as he hooked up the IV to Callen's arm.

"Not exactly, but he won't be hurting anyone else," Sam stated. "He killed himself."

Jack raised his eyebrows as he and Miguel glanced at each other, but didn't say anything, and continued attending to Callen.

"Seems like you folks have had quite the time," Tommy said as he recorded Kensi's pulse. He had been unable to avoid listening to what Sam was saying. "Are you in a lot of pain right now?"

Kensi shook her head. "No. I'm good."

Deeks brushed his hair back in frustration. He knew that Kensi was anything but good. "Come on Kensi, we're finally getting rescued. You can stop playing superwoman now."

"When are you going to stop playing superman?" Kensi retorted.

"Ma'am? On a scale of one to 10 with 10 being the worst, where would you rate your current pain level?" Tommy interrupted.

Kensi sighed softly. "Maybe about a six."

"Okay," said Tommy, "I can give you something for the pain or you can wait until we get to the hospital, your choice. It looks like your ankle is immobilized pretty well so I'm going to just leave that alone. Doesn't make sense to disturb it right now. It would just increase your pain. We'll get you to the ER and they'll take some x-rays to find out exactly what's going on with it."

Kensi nodded. "I don't need anything for the pain. I'd prefer to just wait until we get to the hospital."

"Let me know if you change your mind or if the pain increases." Tommy turned to Deeks. "I'd like to take your vitals now."

Deeks obediently turned towards the paramedic, giving him easy access to his arm so he could take his blood pressure. "Your pressure is a little high," Tommy said after he finished and removed the cuff from Deeks' arm. "Is that usual for you?"

Deeks shook his head. "No, it's usually on the low side."

Tommy nodded. Well, this is a pretty stressful situation and you're injured. It's not surprising that it would be elevated. How bad is the pain in your shoulder?"

"It's not too bad," Deeks replied. "Maybe a four or five." There was no way he was going to rate his pain higher than Kensi had.

Kensi snorted. "A four? Really Deeks?"

Tommy sighed, wondering if he could believe anything these two were telling him. "Well, the same thing goes for you. I can give you something for the pain or you can wait until we reach the hospital."

"I'll wait," Deeks said quickly.

"Yeah, I figured that's what you'd say. Tell me if anything changes," Tommy said then turned his attention to his co-workers. "You guys need any help?"

"We're good, Tommy," Jack replied.

At that moment another man came over from the helicopter, carrying a stretcher. "That's Chris Harris. He's our pilot," Jack informed them.

"Thought you guys could use this," Chris said as he placed the stretcher down on the ground next to where the men were working. "Anything you need me to do?"

"We're going to need another stretcher," Tommy said. "We've got a probable ankle fracture here."

Chris nodded and headed back to the helicopter. "Be right back."

While all this had been going on, Sam had been paying close attention to the two paramedics who were working on his partner, trying to read their expressions. "So…how's he doing?" he finally asked.

"How long ago did he obtain this knife wound?" Jack asked.

"Um," Sam thought for a few moments. It seemed like the days were just all jumbled together. "I think it was five days ago."

"Okay," Jack turned to Miguel. "Let's get ready to transport him."

"Is there enough room for all of us in the helicopter?" Sam suddenly felt very uneasy. It was obvious Jack had deliberately avoided his question. He didn't want to be separated from his partner, but Kensi was first priority after Callen.

Jack nodded. "Yes. We'll be able to take all of you. When you activated the locator beacon, it was registered to the plane you were on. From there, the flight manifest was retrieved, so we knew the number of passengers onboard."

Sam nodded, feeling somewhat relieved to know he could accompany Callen to the hospital. "Anything I can do to help?" he asked, watching as they secured his partner to the gurney.

Jack shook his head. "No, we've got this. You might want to put those fires out before we take off."

"Yeah, okay." Sam put the fires out with sand while Jack and Miguel picked Callen up and started toward the helicopter. Chris and Tommy secured Kensi to the other stretcher and followed soon after as Sam and Deeks trailed behind.

"How's Callen?" Deeks asked Sam as they walked.

Sam just shook his head. "I don't know, Deeks. They wouldn't give me a straight answer…"

"Try not to worry. I don't think they're supposed to say much. They leave it to the doctors," Deeks said, trying to reassure Sam. "Callen's a tough guy, Sam. He'll be okay."

"Yeah, I know he will," Sam managed to force a smile and waited as the paramedics helped Deeks onto the helicopter. Then, with one last look back at their home for the past few days, he climbed into the helicopter, mentally preparing himself to face whatever was in store for them next.


	11. Chapter 11

_Hi everyone, thanks so much for all the nice reviews for the last chapter. I appreciated it so much. This chapter went a little more smoothly. As far as the medical stuff goes, I researched it as well as I could, but really didn't want to get too bogged down in things I don't have a good understanding of. I'm sure there are some medical mistakes, but hopefully they don't take away from your enjoyment of the story. As always, thanks for reading_

xxxxx

"Good luck, guys. I'll check in with you as soon as I can." Sam squeezed Kensi's hand briefly before following alongside Callen's gurney as he was brought into an ER cubicle.

"Excuse me, sir, but you're going to have to wait outside," a middle-aged ER nurse said to Sam.

"Can't I stay with him?" Sam pleaded. "I promise I won't get in the way."

She was about to turn him down, but something about the raw pain in Sam's eyes caused her to change her mind. "Okay, you can stay for now, but if the doctor asks you to leave, you're going to have to do so immediately."

"Thank you," Sam gave her a grateful look as he tried to blend into the background and be as unobtrusive as a man his size could be.

A few minutes later, a doctor strode into the room. He silently picked up the patient assessment forms left by the paramedics and read them then turned toward Sam. "I'm Dr. Landers. Were you in the plane crash as well?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, this is my partner. I can tell you anything you need to know."

The doctor nodded as he began examining Callen. "He was stabbed five days ago?" he asked. "How was he doing before he lost consciousness yesterday?"

"He wasn't doing very well," Sam stated. "He was in a great deal of pain and running a high fever much of the time, sometimes delirious with nightmares and hallucinations. I tried packing the wound but it didn't seem to help with the infection. He just kept getting worse…"

"It sounds like you did all you could do under the circumstances," Dr. Landers said. "Did he complain of any other injuries besides the obvious?"

He was unrestrained when the plane crashed and his ribs were bothering him. He was unconscious when I found him so I'm pretty sure he got a concussion."

The doctor addressed the staff members who were working on Callen. "Okay folks, let's type and crossmatch and get a CBC, chem panel, EKG and a portable chest x-ray. Marie, call upstairs for a surgical consult. See if Hathaway is available." He then turned back to Sam. "Are you able to give surgical consent? At the very least, he's going to need a laparotomy."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I can sign whatever you need." Hetty was Callen's primary medical power of attorney, but Sam had the power as backup when Hetty was unavailable.

"Okay, let's see if we can start to turn things around for your partner," Dr. Landers said.

xxxxx

Deeks quietly approached Kensi's bedside and tenderly took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "Hey Deeks," Kensi said, opening her eyes and smiling at him, taking in the new sling on his arm.

"Hey Kensalina, so what's the word? How are you doing?"

"The doctor says I need to have surgery," Kensi said.

"Really?" Deeks' expression immediately became worried. He hadn't expected to hear that. "It's that bad? I'm sorry, baby."

"Don't worry, Deeks." Kensi could easily see how concerned he was and wanted to ease his mind. "I'll be fine and will be up and around in no time. How about you? What did the doctor say?"

"I've got a separated shoulder. No big deal, just need ice, rest and ibuprofen. No different than what I was doing except we didn't have ice."

"And you weren't taking the ibuprofen…" Kensi stated. "How about your eye? Is it okay?"

"It's fine," Deeks said shortly. The whole memory of Callen punching him then running off was something he wanted to forget. He quickly changed the subject. "When are they going to do the surgery?"

"Pretty soon actually. The anesthesiologist should be down at any time to talk to me."

Deeks nodded then sighed. "I really wish they could just put you in a cast and be done with it."

"Deeks, I'll be fine," Kensi said, trying to reassure him. "Do you have any news about Callen?"

He shook his head. "No…I don't even know where they are."

She stopped herself from saying she was sure he could find them if he tried, realizing that he was too worried about her at the moment to focus on anything else. Just then, there was a knock on the frame of the open doorway and a smiling man hesitantly entered the room. "Hi, I'm Roy Rogers, the anesthesiologist."

Deeks couldn't help but chuckle. "Roy Rogers? Seriously?"

"Yep, I'm afraid so," Roy said, grinning. "My parents were very big fans of old westerns."

"Man…you must have had a rough time growing up," Deeks said.

"Well it helped me develop a thick skin for sure." Roy glanced at the chart he was carrying then turned his attention to Kensi. "How are you doing, Miss Blye?"

"I'm fine," Kensi said.

"Well, why don't we discuss your procedure and any concerns and/or questions you might have?" Roy took a seat by Kensi's bedside and proceeded to go over the operation and do what he could to put Kensi and Deeks at ease.

xxxxx

After Callen was brought into surgery, Sam decided he needed to make phone calls to his wife and Hetty. His cell phone battery had died days ago so he went over to the surgical floor nurses station. "Excuse me," he asked one of the nurses behind the desk. "Is it possible for me to make a couple of collect calls?"

The nurse smiled kindly at him. "You're one of the people from the plane crash, aren't you?" she asked. "Just a minute." She walked away and came back with a cell phone which she handed to Sam. "There's no need to call collect. Please use this to make whatever calls you need to make."

"Thank you very much," Sam said as he took the phone from her. "I appreciate it."

"It's no problem at all," she said. "There's an area right down the hall where you're allowed to use cell phones. Take your time."

"I won't be long," Sam stated, offering a grateful smile. He went in the direction the nurse had pointed to and took a seat in the waiting room which was currently empty. He dialed his home first and smiled when Michelle answered the phone.

"Hey baby, it's me," Sam said.

"Sam! Oh thank God. Where are you? Did your plane crash? Are you okay?"

"Whoa, whoa, baby, one thing at a time. Yes, our plane did crash, but I'm in Seattle now and I'm fine."

"Hetty called and said they had received a signal from your plane and that she was going to meet your team. I wanted to go along but I didn't have time to make arrangements for Kamran. I've been so worried, Sam. Are you sure you're not hurt?"

"I'm sure…it's just so good to hear your voice."

"Well, I can't tell you how good it is to hear yours. Is everyone else okay too?"

Sam hesitated and found himself suddenly choked up and unable to get any words out.

"Sam? What is it? What's wrong?" Michelle asked.

"I…he…" Sam wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around his wife and hug her as tightly as he could. "G was hurt pretty badly…he's in surgery…"

"Oh no…" Michelle could tell by Sam's voice how shaken up he was by this and she was shaken by the news as well. "How bad, Sam?"

"Really bad…he's been so sick, Michelle. I thought he was going to die before anyone found us." His voice cracked and he took a deep breath trying to pull himself together. She didn't need to hear him fall apart.

"Sam, honey…let me find somewhere for Kamran to stay and I'll get the first flight out there."

He shook his head then realized that of course she couldn't see him. "No baby…I don't want to disrupt Kamran. I'm okay…he'll be okay too… If things get worse, then you can come out, but let's just wait and see how his surgery goes."

"Alright…if you're sure," she said hesitantly. "But Sam, if you need me to come, just say the word and I'll be there just as quick as I can."

"I know you will. I miss you baby and I'll be home as soon as I'm able."

"We're fine here, Sam," Michelle said. As much as she missed him, she knew how important Callen was to him and she understood he needed to be with his partner. "You don't worry about a thing except taking care of yourself and Callen."

"I love you, Michelle," Sam said, as his eyes filled.

"I love you too. Call me when he's out of surgery."

"I will…I'll talk to you soon…" Sam clicked off the phone, then leaned his head back against the wall with his eyes closed as he tried to keep his emotions from erupting. Now that he knew Hetty was on her way, he wondered how long it would be before she would arrive.

xxxxx

Deeks was waiting in Kensi's room when she was wheeled in from the Recovery Unit. He was silent as he watched the orderlies transfer her from the gurney to the bed and didn't make a sound until after they left and she opened her eyes and gazed at him groggily.

"Hey baby," he whispered as he kissed her gently on the lips. "How are you feeling?"

"Deeks!" She smiled as she looked past him at the vase of bright multicolored flowers and teddy bear on her nightstand. "Oh you're so sweet. Thank you."

"You're welcome. How are you feeling, sweetheart?" he repeated the question.

"I'm good. The doctor said everything went well. Didn't he talk to you afterwards?" she asked then covered her mouth as she yawned.

Deeks nodded. "He did, but I'm still worried about you."

"Hmm…I know you are, but I'm fine," she said then yawned again.

"You need to get some sleep." Deeks gently brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"I love you, Deeks," Kensi said as she drifted off.

"I love you too."

xxxxx

Hetty gave an exasperated huff as she left the information desk and walked over to Owen. "Mr. Callen is in surgery," she informed him, her concern very apparent. "I don't know his condition. Ms. Blye has been admitted to the orthopedic floor. I suggest we begin there." She was very anxious to find out how the members of her team were doing.

"Do you mind telling me what all this stuff is?" he asked her. He was carrying four plastic bags which she had brought with her from Los Angeles.

"I brought some clothing and a few other things they might need," Hetty explained. "I can carry the bags, Owen. You're the one who insisted on taking them from me."

He shook his head. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to, Henrietta," he said, barely managing not to roll his eyes. "I was just curious."

"Well then, come along." She quickly began walking down the hallway, following the directions which had been given to her. Finally, they arrived at Kensi's room. She quietly rapped on the door before opening it.

Deeks looked up when the door opened and gave the newcomers a look of surprise. "Wow…I didn't expect to see you two," he said, keeping his voice low.

"Hello, Mr. Deeks," Hetty approached as she looked him up and down. He seemed to be relatively unscathed except for the sling on his arm and the nasty-looking swollen eye. "Where else would we be? Of course we would be here to see how you are doing." She watched as Granger put the bags down and went over to the other side of the room to pull over two more chairs. "Now tell me, how are you and Ms. Blye?" she asked as she sat down in one of the chairs. Granger followed suit after she was seated.

"Well I'm doing alright," Deeks began. "I just have a separated shoulder. Kensi fractured her ankle and needed to have surgery. The doctor says she'll be fine."

"So what happened, Deeks?" Granger was eager to get to the bottom of all this trouble.

Hetty held up her hand. "Wait a minute, Owen," she interrupted. "What happened to Mr. Callen? I hear he's in surgery? And is Mr. Hanna okay?"

Deeks sighed, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. "I guess this kind of ties in to what the assistant director asked," he said glancing at Granger. "Callen was stabbed by the pilot of the plane while we were still up in the air."

"What?" Hetty asked, her eyes wide with shock. "Why on earth would he do such a thing?"

Deeks shook his head. "I don't know…supposedly he was an old friend of Callen's. He acted really friendly to him when we first went aboard and Callen seemed glad to see him. I'm not sure what happened. The next thing we knew, Callen was locked in the cockpit with the guy and we were going down."

"So how was he doing after all this?" This latest bit of news unnerved Hetty who was sick with worry about her team's leader.

Deeks was saved from having to answer her question as Kensi began to stir and groaned softly as she opened her eyes. She smiled faintly at Deeks and then noticed Hetty. "Hetty!"

"Hello, Miss Blye, how are you feeling?" Hetty got up from the chair and went to the side of Kensi's bed.

"I'm doing well, Hetty," Kensi replied. "It is so good to see you."

"It's very good to see you too, dear." Hetty took Kensi's hand and patted it gently. "Is there anything I can get for you? Anything you need?"

"I can't think of anything," Kensi replied, shaking her head.

"Well, we did bring you some clothes and things," Hetty said. "For you too, Mr. Deeks."

"We?" Kensi scanned the room and then she saw Granger who stood up and approached her bed. "Assistant Director Granger. I'm sorry, I didn't see you."

"It's alright Agent Blye," he said. "I'm glad to see you're okay."

Kensi nodded. "It was good of you to come."

Hetty turned her attention back to Deeks. "You didn't answer my question before, Mr. Deeks."

"Um…What question was that?" he asked, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"You're stalling."

Deeks sighed heavily. "Callen wasn't doing well, Hetty," he admitted. "He was really sick almost the whole time after we crashed. He had a pretty bad infection going on. Sam did everything he could to take care of him, but there was only so much he could do. Callen wasn't even conscious anymore when help finally came for us."

"Sam was wonderful, Hetty," Kensi said. "Not just to Callen, he helped all of us. I don't know what we would have done if he wasn't there."

Deeks nodded. "He definitely saved my ass out there."

Hetty processed all that Deeks and Kensi told her. She wasn't surprised to hear about all that Sam had done for the team. She was, however, very disturbed to hear about Callen's condition. She would visit with Kensi and Deeks for a short while longer and then hopefully Callen would be out of surgery and she could see for herself how he was doing.

xxxxx

Hetty stood at the opening to Callen's cubicle in the ICU watching Sam. The fact the he did not notice her presence was a testament to just how exhausted he must be. "It is very good to see you safe and sound, Mr. Hanna," she finally said as she stepped into the cubicle.

"Hetty," Sam turned his head to acknowledge the older woman and gave her a tired smile. "It's good to see you too." He started to stand, but she waved him off.

"I'm fine, please sit." Her eyes went to Callen and she felt a knot beginning to form in her stomach. Seeing him intubated and attached to IVs and monitors, brought her back to when he had been shot on Venice Beach. He looked very pale and fragile. "How is he?" she asked softly.

Sam shrugged. "He's really sick, Hetty. It's a long story, but he was stabbed right before we crashed and he has a pretty major infection going on. He also has a couple of busted ribs and a concussion. The doctor said the knife missed his vital organs, which is about the only good news there is. He hasn't regained consciousness, likely because of the toll the infection has had on his body. He's really weak, Hetty… His blood pressure is very low and he's still running a fever." He sighed heavily. "I just wish he'd turn the corner and start to get better."

"He will, in his own time. He's been through quite the ordeal…all of you have… We just need to be patient, Mr. Hanna." Hetty was concerned about Sam as well as Callen. He appeared exhausted and consumed with worry about his partner. She was sure he wasn't taking proper care of himself.

Sam nodded as he pulled the blanket up higher over Callen's chest then tucked it tighter around his partner. Being patient was easier said than done. "Have you seen Deeks and Kensi yet?" he finally asked.

"I just came from visiting them," Hetty replied. "They're on the orthopedic floor. Ms. Blye required a surgical correction of her ankle so they'll be keeping her for a couple of days. She's in a private room so I'm sure Mr. Deeks will be staying there as well."

"Kensi had to have surgery?" Sam asked, a look of concern on his face. "I'd hoped that wouldn't be the case."

"They are both doing well…" She paused then added, "better than you, I'd say…"

"Better than me?" Sam shook his head and offered an unconvincing smile. "I don't know what you're talking about, Hetty. I'm fine. I'm the only one who wasn't hurt."

"You are exhausted, Sam," Hetty said. "From what I've been told, you've been going pretty much nonstop since the plane crash. I know you don't want to hear it, but you need rest and plenty of it. You don't want to make yourself sick."

"I'm not going to make myself sick," Sam retorted.

Hetty ignored her agent's protest. "Now, there's a very nice hotel right down the street from here. You can go there, take a shower, change your clothes and get some real rest. Then you can come back here and resume your place by Mr. Callen's side."

"Sorry, Hetty, but that's not going to happen."

"And if I order you?"

Sam shrugged. "It's still not going to happen. You can fire me if you want to. I'm not leaving him alone."

Hetty shook her head in frustration. "Surely you know better than that, Sam. I will stay here fixed to Mr. Callen's bedside until you return. He will not be alone."

"I'm not leaving until he's awake and I know he's going to be okay."

"You're a stubborn man, Sam Hanna." Hetty realized when she was beaten. It was obvious he wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

"Yeah, well…he's been through a lot," Sam said softly, his eyes filled with emotion as he looked at his partner. He couldn't help but recall when Callen was infected by Spiral and how grateful he had been that Sam had been with him when he had finally regained consciousness. There was no way he wouldn't be there for him now.

"Well then, here." Hetty handed the white plastic bag she was carrying to Sam. "You will at least go find somewhere to freshen up a bit and change your clothes. Surely you can leave him with me long enough to do that?"

"Yes, I can do that. Thank you, Hetty." Sam accepted the bag from her with a grateful smile.

"And you will get yourself something to eat as well?" she asked.

He hesitated and then nodded. "Okay. I'll do that. I won't be long."

After Sam left the cubicle, Hetty settled herself into the chair he had vacated and gently took Callen's hand. "You have a very stubborn partner, Mr. Callen," she said quietly. "He's fiercely loyal and I can't imagine anyone caring about you more, except perhaps me. Now, what I need you to do is to wake up and put his mind at ease. Then he can get some much needed rest and you and your team can come home where you belong."


	12. Chapter 12

_As always, thanks for reading and all of your nice comments are so appreciated. There were some guest reviews that were especially nice and although I can't respond to those personally, just know that I appreciate them and each one really means a lot to me._

xxxxx

Sam quickly freshened up and changed into the clothes Hetty had brought for him. He then grabbed a cup of coffee from a vending machine and headed back to the ICU. He was just about to press the buzzer to be admitted to the unit when a voice caused him to stop in his tracks.

"Agent Hanna."

He turned around and saw Granger put down a magazine as he got up from a chair in the waiting area outside the ICU. "Hi," said Sam, giving the assistant director a surprised look. "I didn't know you were here."

"That seems to be everybody's reaction," Granger said dryly. "Surprise. There's a two visitor limit in the ICU which is why I didn't accompany Henrietta earlier. In any case, you and I are going to go get something to eat."

"Oh, I already ate," Sam said, the white lie easily rolling off his lips.

"Really?" Granger looked back at Sam cynically. "I watched you leave earlier. There's no way you had time to eat. What was this meal and where did it take place?"

Sam realized that extending the lie really wasn't going to help matters any. "I just wanted to get back to G," he admitted.

Granger nodded. "I realize you're worried about your partner, Agent Hanna, but driving yourself into the ground won't help him. Come on. A quick sandwich and you can get right back to him. I also want to find out more about what happened to you and see if you have any additional information to supplement what Deeks told me earlier."

Seeing that he really had no choice in the matter, Sam followed Granger to the cafeteria. Once he was actually standing in line with food at his fingertips though, he realized he really was hungry. He ordered a turkey reuben sandwich and a bowl of mixed fruit. Granger got a grilled cheese sandwich with a cup of tomato soup. The two men found a relatively secluded table and settled down to eat.

"So, you hanging in there, Hanna?" Granger asked, satisfied to see Sam taking a healthy bite of his sandwich.

Sam nodded. "I'm doing fine," he answered. "I'm just worried about the rest of the team."

"I heard you were pretty amazing out there."

"I just did what I was trained to do," Sam said and took another bite of his sandwich. He really didn't want to talk about how amazing he had supposedly been. He still hadn't gotten past the fact that he had neglected to find the locator beacon in the canvas supply bag.

"Okay," Granger sensed that Sam was a reluctant hero. "Can you tell me what you know about what happened before the plane crashed?"

"An old friend of G's…" Sam concentrated for a few seconds before coming up with the name. "Andy Billings was piloting the plane, seemed friendly enough. G joined him in the cockpit to catch up. They hadn't been in touch for around 12 years. Next thing we knew, the cockpit was locked and the plane was going down. When I finally got in there, after we had hit the ground, G was unconscious. He had been stabbed in the abdomen and his so-called friend had shot himself in the head."

"And you have no idea why this might have happened?" Granger asked.

"He told G that someone had abducted his wife and children, that he had to kill Callen or they would be killed."

Granger was mentally comparing Sam's version of the story to what Deeks had told him. This part was all new information. "So, why did he kill himself? How would he even know his wife and kids were still alive? What was to stop this person or people from killing them anyway?" That part really didn't make sense to him.

"No idea," Sam said with a shrug as he popped a grape into his mouth. "The whole thing was crazy."

"Did Callen tell you the name of the wife?"

"No," said Sam. "He didn't. He was feeling pretty crappy at the time. He couldn't make any sense out of it either."

"Okay, thanks. We'll talk to your partner when he regains consciousness. For now, I'm going to see if Eric and Nell can get us some more information. We'll figure this thing out." At the very least, they needed to find out what had happened to the man's wife and children and hopefully discover who was behind this plot to take down Agent Callen. "Do you think Callen needs protection?"

Sam was about to say no, but then really thought about just how tired he was and how vulnerable his partner was at the moment. Sam knew he was nowhere near his normal level of alertness. He didn't want to make a mistake that could prove fatal to Callen because he was too stubborn to admit he needed help. "It's probably not a bad idea," he admitted with a nod. "Maybe station someone outside his room in the ICU, just to be safe."

"Consider it done," Granger said as he took out his cell phone and made a quick call to request an agent be brought in. The two then finished their dinner in companionable silence and then headed back to the ICU so Sam could continue to watch over Callen.

xxxxx

"Kensi…" Deeks said in a sing-song voice as he pressed a kiss on her lips. "Wake up…I have a surprise for you."

Kensi snuggled deeper under the blankets, not quite ready to wake up.

"Come on, baby," Deeks persisted. "This is going to melt."

Kensi's interest was mildly heightened by that. "Hmm…what's going to melt?" she asked, smiling, but with her eyes still closed.

"Uh uh, sleeping beauty. You need to open your eyes and see for yourself."

Her curiosity aroused, Kensi finally forced her eyes open and her smile widened even further when she saw what Deeks held in his hands. "Deeks, that looks amazing. Where did you get it?" she asked, her eyes fixed on the delicious-looking concoction he had, a combination of white cake, strawberries, ice cream and whipped cream. He proudly placed it on her bedside table along with plastic forks and spoons.

"I got it in the cafeteria."

"Really?" Kensi asked, a little bit skeptically as she gazed at the strawberry shortcake and then into Deeks' eyes. "The cafeteria here has fancy desserts like this?"

"Bertha, the cafeteria lady here, loves me," he stated with a grin.

"And do I want to know what you did to get such adoration from Bertha?" Kensi asked with a mock pout.

"Don't tell me you're jealous, Fern," Deeks teased. "I was just being my usual, impossible to resist, charming self. I was looking at the desserts when going through the cafeteria line. I saw the strawberry shortcake and I asked her if there was any ice cream to go with it for my poor girlfriend who was recovering from surgery. The next thing I knew, she had turned it into this. "

"Hmm…well Bertha did an outstanding job. Be sure to thank her for me," Kensi said as she picked up a spoon, dug into the ice cream, then put it into her mouth. "Oh my God, Deeks. This is sooo good."

"Yeah well, I figured you could use a treat after all you've been going through," Deeks said, happy to see Kensi light-hearted and taking pleasure in something for a change.

"Try some," Kensi invited as she took another spoonful of ice cream and held it temptingly towards his mouth. "It's really good."

Deeks was unable to resist Kensi or the treat as he opened his mouth and licked the ice cream off the spoon. "Mmm…delicious…"

Kensi smiled as she handed him a fork and the two continued to enjoy the decadent dessert.

"So any word on Callen?" Kensi asked as she swallowed the last mouthful of cake and put down her fork with a contented sigh.

Deeks shook his head. "No. No one has been by to give an update."

Kensi looked at him in dismay. "Deeks…you need to go find out what's going on with him. Sam isn't going to leave him if he's not doing well."

Deeks nodded. "I thought Hetty or Granger might have stopped by, but you're right, baby. I'll go find out how he's doing."

"Thank you. I'd go with you but I'm supposed to stay in bed until tomorrow."

"You need your rest." Deeks stood up and bent down to give her a quick kiss. "I'll be back soon."

"I'll be waiting," she said smiling up at him. "If he's awake, tell Callen I'm thinking of him."

"I will." Deeks smiled at her and then headed off to find out what he could about their team leader's condition.

xxxxx

Deeks came to a standstill when he saw Danny Ward, an upstanding NCIS agent, stationed outside what he had been told was Callen's ICU cubicle. "Hey Danny," he said, extending his hand to the agent who grasped it in a friendly handshake.

"Hi, it's good to see you." Danny's attention was instantly drawn to Deeks' eye. "Damn, that looks really painful, Deeks. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing alright," Deeks replied. He really wished Callen had punched him anywhere other than his eye. It was always the first thing anyone seemed to notice. Though he guessed a broken nose would have been even worse.

"I'm glad to see you came through the crash okay. How's Kensi?"

"She has a broken ankle so she has some recovering to do, but other than that, she's doing good."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"So, they assigned you protective detail for Callen?" Deeks asked, a little confused by this turn of events.

Danny nodded. "I was already here in Seattle on another assignment so Granger pulled me off that and posted me here for the time being. I'll be alternating with another agent I've been working with, Jeff Anderson. "

Deeks tried to recall the other agent's name but it wasn't familiar to him. "I don't think I know him," he said. "How's Callen doing?"

"I think it's still touch and go," Danny replied. "Sam is with him now, has been since I got here."

"Okay, I'm going to head in there," Deeks said. "Good to see you, Danny."

"Likewise."

Deeks walked into the cubicle and Sam looked up immediately. "Hey Deeks," he said, giving him a weary smile.

"Man…you need to get some sleep, Sam," Deeks said. Sam seemed to look worse every time he saw him. Now he looked like the poster boy for the definition of exhaustion.

"How's Kensi?" Sam asked, ignoring Deeks' comment.

"She's doing pretty well," Deeks answered. His eyes were drawn to Callen and he couldn't help but be discouraged when he saw all the equipment attached to him. "How is he?" he asked softly.

Sam sighed heavily. "I don't know, Deeks…I'm trying to be positive here, but…it's difficult. I really wish he'd wake up…"

Deeks nodded, unsure of what to say to make Sam feel better. He really didn't think anything would until Callen hopefully turned the corner and his condition started to improve. "Can I get you anything?" he finally asked.

Sam shook his head. "Not unless it's a magic potion to make him well," he said.

"I would if I could," Deeks said, at a loss as to what to say. He wasn't used to Sam being so down in the dumps. It was disconcerting to say the least.

"I know you would, Deeks," Sam said softly.

"Have you eaten anything?" Deeks didn't want to sound like a nag, but if Sam wasn't eating, and he obviously wasn't sleeping, it wasn't going to do him or Callen any good.

"Granger dragged me to the cafeteria to get something for dinner earlier," Sam said.

"That's good…and he also assigned Danny to guard duty?"

"Yeah," Sam said with a nod. "I'd rather be safe than sorry."

Deeks gave Sam a confused look. "Am I missing something, Sam?" he asked. "Why do we need Danny here? Andy's dead. He can't hurt Callen anymore…"

Sam sighed. It was hard to remember exactly who knew what. "Andy was doing someone else's dirty work," he explained. "He said that someone was holding his wife and two children hostage and Andy was supposed to kill Callen in exchange for their release."

Deeks looked even more confused. "But that doesn't make any sense," he said. "I mean, yeah, I get that he tried to kill Callen, but why did he shoot himself? How would he even know whoever it was let his family go?"

"That's the million dollar question," Sam said. "I don't think we'll ever find an answer as to why. Maybe it was guilt. I don't really know. What I do know is that whoever wanted Andy to kill G is still out there and if they don't already know he's still alive, it's only a matter of time before they do."

Deeks nodded. "And he's pretty much defenseless right now…"

"And I don't want to take any chances…"

"Sounds like you made a good decision." Deeks was glad that Sam realized he wasn't at his best right now and wouldn't be able to give Callen the protection he might require. None of them were capable of that right now. They had all been through a lot.

Sam nodded and the conversation stalled. The only sounds were the beeping of Callen's heart monitor, background noise from other ICU cubicles and chatter from the nurses' station. "I guess I should get back to Kensi…" Deeks spoke after a few minutes, unable to stand the long awkward silence any longer. His presence obviously wasn't doing Sam any good.

"Okay…Give her my best. I'll try to come by to see her tomorrow." Sam was really hoping Callen would make some kind of improvement by then.

"I'll tell her, Sam," Deeks said as the two men shook hands. "You take care of yourself, okay? Try to get some rest." Looking at the chair Sam was sitting in, he didn't think that would be an easy task, but he hoped Sam would somehow be able to manage it.

"I will. Thanks for coming by, Deeks."

"No problem," Deeks said. He then turned towards Callen and lightly patted his hand. "Get well soon, Callen," he whispered. "We're all pulling for you." He could feel his emotions unexpectedly brimming to the surface so he quickly turned away and headed out of the room after saying a hurried goodbye to Sam.

xxxxx

The night passed excruciatingly slowly for Sam. He would doze off only to be unexpectedly awakened with a sudden muscle cramp or when a nurse came in to check on Callen. The chair was very uncomfortable and he couldn't help longing for a bed, but he just couldn't bear the thought of leaving his partner. Finally, morning came and with it a breakfast which was brought to him, courtesy of a kind-hearted nurse. It definitely wasn't a gourmet meal, consisting of lukewarm eggs, slightly burnt toast, hash browns and limp bacon, but Sam was hungry and gratefully ate every bite of it. After he ate, he took a short break to call Michelle and use the rest room. Then he quickly returned to Callen's bedside.

xxxxx

The first positive sign was the subtle movement of Callen's fingers, barely even noticeable. Before Sam even had a chance to process it though, things changed rapidly. He glanced at his partner's face only to see blue eyes filled with confusion and panic. The monitor attached to Callen showed his heartbeat escalating rapidly.

"Shit," Sam frantically pressed the call button and grabbed Callen's hand, keeping it firmly in his grasp. He had known Callen wasn't going to react well when he awoke with the intubation tube still in place. "G…G, calm down, buddy. I'm right here. You're okay."

A nurse stepped into the cubicle and quickly assessed the situation. "I'll get a doctor. Try to keep him calm if you can."

"Come on, G. Don't fight it. The doctor will be here really soon. Everything's going to be alright. You're alright, you're okay." He continued to murmur reassurances, keeping his tone as composed as possible and was gratified that his friend seemed to be trying to focus on Sam's words and at least appeared somewhat less agitated. "You're doing good, G."

Sam breathed a sigh of relief as a doctor came in with the nurse. "Do you mind stepping outside for a few minutes?" he asked Sam.

Sam nodded and turned to his partner. "I'll be right back, G, okay? I'm going to be right outside."

Callen still looked slightly panicked, but he managed a nod and Sam stepped outside the cubicle. He said hello to Jeff, the new NCIS agent who had taken Danny's place early that morning, but he didn't know him and wasn't in the mood for small talk. He really wished his partner wasn't going through all this. He couldn't stand seeing him suffer. He paced up and down through the ICU until he noticed an annoyed look cast his way by one of the nurses and then he managed to stay still. Finally the doctor and nurse emerged from Callen's cubicle. "Is he okay?" Sam asked anxiously.

The doctor nodded. "We've extubated him. He's much calmer and his heart rate is back to normal. He still can't eat or drink anything until he's cleared by Dr. Hathaway, but you can give him some ice chips if he wants them."

"Okay. Thank you, doctor." Sam nodded his appreciation before heading back into his partner's cubicle. Callen appeared to be asleep so Sam walked as quietly as he could and settled back in the chair by his bedside.

xxxxx

Exhausted, Callen had fallen asleep again right after the extubation, but he didn't sleep for long. He restlessly moved about under the covers and the bed seemed to creak noisily with each movement. He finally opened his eyes and saw Sam sitting faithfully beside him. "Hey," he said hoarsely then coughed and swallowed, wincing at the pain in his throat.

"Hey, G…" Sam was beyond relieved to finally see his partner awake and seemingly coherent. "How are you feeling? Do you want some ice chips?"

Callen nodded and Sam took a spoonful of ice from the cup on the tray by Callen's bed and fed it to his partner. "Thanks," he said, closing his eyes with relief as the cold ice eased the roughness in his throat.

"More?" Sam asked.

Callen nodded again and Sam gave him another spoonful. The fact that Callen wasn't protesting being spoon fed by his partner told Sam how lousy he must be feeling.

"Where…where are we?" Callen asked, his voice weak. "How…how did we get here?"

"We're in a hospital in Seattle," Sam explained. "Deeks found a locator beacon after you lost consciousness. He activated it and the following morning we were rescued."

Callen struggled to stay alert as he tried to sort out what Sam had told him. He had so many questions and wanted to continue the conversation, but he was just too tired and not able to keep his eyes open any longer. He hazily heard Sam's voice in the background telling him to sleep just before he drifted off once again.


	13. Chapter 13

_As always, thanks so much for your reviews and notes of encouragement – it's very helpful in keeping me motivated, especially when I get stuck_ _J_

 _To answer French Fan's question, the Intensive Care Unit rooms I've seen have been very small, definitely too small to add another bed. They're probably not all like that, but for the purposes of this story, that's what I was assuming (because I tend to make characters miserable lol_ _J_ _) Also, if you ever have any future questions, feel free to just ask on my Mulderette Facebook page if you'd like or you could PM me so you won't have to wait so long for an answer._

xxxxx

Hetty stepped into Callen's ICU cubicle to see both her senior agents fast asleep. She noted that Callen was no longer intubated and took that to be a very good sign. She turned her attention to Sam and shook her head at his positioning. His head was tilted back awkwardly and even though the chair he was in reclined, it obviously was not comfortable for him. She had no doubt that the decision she had made was the correct one. She walked over to him and gently shook his shoulder as she spoke quietly, "Mr. Hanna."

Sam immediately awoke, startled at Hetty's touch. "Oh, good morning, Hetty," he mumbled as he forced his tired eyes to remain open.

"Good morning, Sam." She waited for him to be a little more alert before continuing. "I must say, I've had quite enough of this."

"Enough of what?" Sam asked in confusion.

Hetty handed him the dark grey backpack she was carrying along with a keycard. "You are leaving here, Mr. Hanna. Immediately."

Sam shook his head. "No I'm not, Hetty. I'm staying here with G."

Hetty was all business as she spoke to him. "No, you are not. I have booked you a very nice room at the Crowne Plaza and you are going there to get some sleep. I will not have you making yourself sick. You will shower, eat and sleep and you are not to return here for at least eight hours from now." She looked at her watch and continued, "which will be 7 o'clock this evening. I expect you to eat both lunch and dinner in this time period and don't even think about trying to lie to me, Mr. Hanna, because trust me…I will know… There's a restaurant on the premises and room service if you are so inclined."

"But Hetty…"

"No buts, Mr. Hanna. If I were you, I would leave now or you won't be allowed back here tonight and I **_will_** make that happen. I have issued you a new weapon and a cell phone for whatever calls you wish to make. Talk to your wife and daughter, Sam. I'm sure they'd like to hear from you more often. There is also some cash and a credit card for a taxi, food and anything else you might need. Everything is in this bag along with some more clothes. Now scoot."

"How about six hours?" Sam tried to bargain as he gave her a pleading look.

Hetty bit back a smile at his persistence. She could not conceive of a more dedicated partner for Callen than Sam was. "As much as I love a good debate, this is not a negotiation. Unless, of course, you would like to start at ten hours and I will gladly lower it to nine."

Sam gave Hetty a long look, but he really didn't have the energy required to fight her on this. He reluctantly got up from the chair and barely managed to stifle a moan as his stiff and sore muscles rebelled against his movements. "G woke up earlier," Sam told Hetty. "His surgeon hasn't been in yet. He can have ice chips, but that's all he's allowed to have right now. If he wakes up, make sure you tell him I'll be back tonight. And let me know if he needs anything."

"Oh Sam, I promise to take very good care of him," Hetty said earnestly. She did feel bad forcing him away like this, but it was for his own good.

"And if his condition changes?" Sam asked, clearly emotional as he stared at his sleeping partner. He longed to wake him up, just to talk to him for a few minutes before he left, but he knew that would be selfish. Callen needed his rest to recover.

"If he gets any worse, I will let you know right away. The hotel is very close by if you need to get back here for any reason, but let's not borrow trouble."

"I just…I can't help but worry about him," Sam admitted. He knew that he was overtired and that was probably making him overly protective, but he really didn't like leaving Callen when he was this defenseless and so obviously at risk. He felt like he was abandoning him.

"He will be fine. Owen is checking on Mr. Deeks and Miss Blye and then he will be here as well. We will keep him safe until you return, Sam." Hetty took Sam's large hand in her own small one and squeezed it reassuringly. "You know how much Mr. Callen means to me. I'm not about to let anything happen to him."

Sam nodded reluctantly as he looked over at Callen once more. "I'll see you later, G," he whispered.

"We will see you this evening," Hetty said, feeling very much like she had just kicked a puppy to the curb as Sam made his way out of the room.

xxxxx

"You're doing great, Fern," Deeks said supportively as Kensi made her way back into her room with her new set of crutches, the physical therapist walking alongside her. She then put the crutches to her side and carefully lowered herself into a chair.

"You're doing very well," Matt, the young physical therapist said. "I can see you won't have any trouble getting around."

"Hopefully, that means I'll be out of here soon," Kensi said.

"Well that's up to your doctor," Matt said. "I'll give him a good report from the PT side of things though."

"Thanks for your help," Kensi said as she watched Matt leave the room and then turned her attention to Deeks. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

"If you call an aide coming in to pick up the breakfast tray interesting then I guess so," Deeks replied as he tossed the magazine he was reading onto her bed. "She gave me kind of a weird look, not sure why."

Kensi gazed at Deeks in amusement. "Well, you are looking a little bit scruffier than usual," she observed. "Or maybe it was because you were reading _Seventeen_ magazine."

"Hey, it's the only magazine in here," Deeks said. "Besides, it can't hurt to keep up with the trends of today's young women. You never know when one of them is going to commit a crime."

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Maybe the aide just didn't think you belonged here."

"You wound me," Deeks said with a grin as he put his hand over his heart.

"Seriously though, Deeks. You don't have to stay here 24/7," Kensi said. "If you have anything you'd like to do, I don't mind."

"I actually think its better that the two of you stay together," Granger said from where he was standing at the open doorway to Kensi's room.

"Why?" Deeks asked. "You think we're in danger? The person who orchestrated this whole thing was after Callen, not us. He or she probably doesn't even know we exist."

"You're probably right." Granger nodded in agreement. "But just humor me, okay? Now I'm in a really good mood. This would be your opportunity if there's anything you want me to get for you, food, drinks, whatever you want."

"I don't know," Deeks said, looking at Kensi. "You want anything?"

Kensi shook her head. "I think I'm good, sir, but thank you for asking."

"Well then, here," Granger said gruffly as he closed the door to the room, ensuring their privacy, and handed Deeks an identical backpack to the one that Hetty had given to Sam. "Here are weapons, phones, cash and credit cards for whatever you need. If you have to get in touch with me, I'll be with Henrietta. We're going to be watching over Agent Callen today."

"What about the two visitor ICU rule?" Deeks asked.

"Sam is going to be at a hotel getting some rest."

"Uh, really?" Deeks smiled dubiously and shook his head. "I'd like to see how you're going to accomplish that. I don't think Sam will be leaving Callen's side any time soon."

"And I think you underestimate Henrietta," Granger said. "Agent Hanna is exhausted. He needs a break."

"Oh I'm not disagreeing with you," said Deeks. "Sam looked like crap last night. I just don't think he's going to leave."

"Well, he's really not going to have a choice," Granger stated. He then fixed his eyes on Kensi. "Agent Blye, you appear to be doing well. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, sir," Kensi replied. "I'm just worried about Callen. Is there anything new on his condition?"

Granger shook his head. "I don't have an update yet today, but I assume he's holding his own or we would have heard."

"I'd really like to see him," Kensi said wistfully as she fidgeted restlessly in the chair.

Granger looked at Kensi thoughtfully and nodded. "If you and Deeks would like to come by this afternoon, we'll step out so you can visit with him for a bit."

Kensi's expression brightened. "Thank you. I'd like that."

"You're welcome. Okay, I'm going to head to the ICU. Why don't you stop by sometime between 3 and 4? You can stay with Agent Callen for a little while and we'll take a break."

"That sounds good," Deeks said, nodding. "We'll see you later."

They watched as Granger left the room and then Deeks turned to Kensi. "You want to go back on the bed so you're more comfortable?" he asked.

"No, I'm alright here," Kensi said, shaking her head.

"I was just thinking we could get in a little cuddle time and maybe watch some t.v." Deeks said with a playful smile.

"Well, I guess if you put it like that." Kensi returned his smile. She then took the crutches and made her way over to the bed where Deeks settled down beside her and put his arm around her. Kensi then grabbed the remote control to the television set. "Okay, let's see if we can find something halfway decent to watch and then maybe head to the cafeteria to get some lunch before we go see Callen? You can introduce me to Bertha."

"Sounds perfect." Deeks lightly kissed her cheek before Kensi rested her head on his shoulder and started absently flicking through the channels. She tired of that quickly though and abandoned that idea in favor of pulling Deeks towards her and finding his lips with her own.

xxxxx

Hetty watched over Callen, pleased that he appeared to be sleeping comfortably. She preferred the quiet to the sound of the television, and she didn't want to take a chance on waking him, so she sat in silence, or rather as silent as a room in the ICU could be. She wished she had thought to bring a book. Maybe once Owen arrived she would go to the hospital gift shop and pick up a paperback.

As she sat there, she let her thoughts drift to a time many years ago, not long after Callen had started to live with her. He had only been with her a couple of months and he had still been so suspicious and always guarded when he was around her. She couldn't help but smile at the memory of that distrustful boy. One day he had come home from school and had appeared to be ill. She had questioned him, but he had been evasive and had retreated to his bedroom. That night at dinner, he had basically moved the food around on his plate but hadn't eaten a bite. When she had checked on him, before retiring to her own room, she had found him feverish in the throes of a nightmare. She had sat with him that night and the next day had brought him to her physician who had determined that he had meningitis.

For several days, he had been extremely fatigued and feverish with a horrible headache and stiff neck. He had been confined to bed and his eyes had been so sensitive to light that he hadn't even been able to tolerate watching television. That was when she had begun aloud reading to him. She had chosen old classics like _Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_ , _The Adventures of Tom Sawyer_ , _The Call of the Wild, Oliver Twist_ , and _The Three Musketeers_ among others. It was during that time that things had started to change. He had appeared to look forward to her visits with him and by the time he had recovered, he had definitely been more at ease with her. In retrospect, that illness had been a blessing in disguise as it had proved to be a turning point in their relationship. He had told her, many years later, that no one had ever really cared for him before when he was sick and it had meant a lot to him.

"Sam? Sam, where are you?" The sound of Callen's voice brought Hetty out of her reverie. She saw that he appeared agitated and was obviously struggling with a nightmare.

"Shhh… Grisha," Hetty said soothingly as she very gently rubbed his shoulder trying to comfort him. It seemed he was still prone to nightmares when he was sick. "Everything is going to be okay. I'm here, it's alright. It's only a dream. You're safe, Grisha."

"Hetty?" He opened his eyes and looked at her in wonder. "You're here?"

"Of course I'm here," she said softly. "You've been hurt. Where else would I be?"

"You called me Grisha…"

"That's your name, isn't it?" Hetty said matter-of-factly.

"You've never called me it before."

"No…no I haven't," Hetty agreed. "I'd say this is definitely the proper occasion for it, don't you think? Though you've never spoken to me about your name either."

"No…you're right about that," Callen admitted quietly, seeing the silent question in her eyes. "I don't really know why…I guess part of me is still getting used to it myself. It's weird to have this name all of a sudden when I've gone so long without one."

"Grisha Alexandrovich Nikolaev… It's a good name. It suits you." Hetty said, smiling at him.

Callen returned her smile, then his gaze roamed over the room and back to Hetty. "Is the team alright?" he asked. "I know Sam told me we were rescued, but I fell asleep before I could really talk to him about it and I don't remember any of what happened."

"No. I don't suppose you would. You were unconscious at the time. Ms. Blye had surgery on her ankle but she is coming along very well. Mr. Deeks is with her and he's fine. I sent Mr. Hanna to a hotel to get some rest but he will be back this evening."

Callen gave a frustrated sigh. "Sam doesn't have to come back, Hetty. I'm sure he's exhausted. He really came through for us after the crash. I don't think I would have made it if he hadn't been there to take care of me. He was pretty amazing. He should go home and spend some time with Michelle and Kamran, maybe go visit Aidan. He deserves that after all that's happened."

Hetty shook her head, smiling faintly. "You know better than that. He's not going to leave Seattle until you're sitting right next to him on that plane."

"He doesn't have to stay," Callen protested. "I'll be okay."

"Are you sure about that, Agent Callen?" Granger asked as he came into the room. "Agent Hanna thinks you need protection and I happen to agree with him."

"Assistant Director…" Callen shot a surprised look at the other man as he approached. "I didn't know you were here…"

"I'd be shocked if you did," Granger said with a slight smirk. "You're looking a lot better than the last time I saw you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Callen replied. "Thirsty…" He looked at Hetty hopefully. "Can I have a drink?"

"I'm sorry," Hetty said, giving him an apologetic look. "You're still only allowed to have ice chips. I expect the doctor will be in to see you shortly." If the doctor didn't come soon, she would see to it that he did. She picked up the cup on his tray and saw that what had earlier been ice chips was now a cup of warm water. "I'll go get you some."

"You don't have to…" Callen tried to stop her, but she was already out the door. He sighed softly and contemplated his newest visitor with a speculative look.

"So…you want to tell me what happened up there that led to the crash?" Granger asked as he settled himself into the chair Hetty had just vacated.

Callen didn't particularly relish going over the memory again, but he knew the assistant director needed to hear the details from him first hand. "A guy I used to work with in the past, Andy Billings, was the pilot for our flight. He used to be one of the best, flew me out of a ton of scrapes before I joined NCIS. I really trusted him back then… Anyway, I went into the cockpit to keep him company and catch up on things. I was going back to check on the team and he suddenly grabbed me from behind and stabbed me."

"Just like that? Right out of the blue?" Granger asked.

"Yeah…I mean he wasn't acting quite like himself, but I never would have expected something like that."

"Then what?"

"Then…" Callen rubbed his eyes wearily. He was rapidly beginning to tire and starting to lose focus. "He apologized, said he had no choice, that someone was holding his wife and children hostage and he had to kill me…"

"What's his wife's name?"

"Jessica."

"And the children?" Granger prodded.

"I don't know…I don't remember," Callen said. The details were becoming fuzzy and he was obviously struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Well, how many are there? Did he tell you their names or didn't he?" Granger snapped.

"Owen, stop!" Hetty walked back into the room and gave Granger a death glare. "Can't you see he's wiped out?"

Granger looked at Callen who had already fallen back to sleep. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, a bit ashamed at having practically screamed at the ailing agent. "But I'm frustrated. We need to know these things."

"I think Mr. Beale and Miss Jones are more than capable of coming up with names and they will notify us soon with any information they have gathered."

"Well I hope so," Granger said. "Because it could be anyone out there who wants your agent dead, Henrietta and we don't have any clue of who it could be. We need answers. I'm going to go get another chair." He then got up and left the room.

Hetty sighed as she placed the untouched cup of ice chips on the tray and looked down at her sleeping agent with anxious eyes. She knew that Owen was right. They needed to find out soon who was after Callen and put this person or people away once and for all, before any more harm could come to him.


	14. Chapter 14

_I really appreciate each one of you who takes the time to read and review. This is shorter than usual but I figured I'd send out a mid-week chapter for a change. I'll still be planning to have another chapter up on Sunday as usual. Warning: This is kind of a cliffhanger so if you don't like that kind of thing, you may want to wait (though I can't exactly guarantee what the next chapter will be like either lol). Thanks for reading_ J

xxxxx

"I'm really thirsty," Callen mumbled irritably to no one in particular. Granger was silently reading the newspaper and Hetty was reading some novel she had gotten at the gift shop. She had brought him a book also, but he didn't feel like reading. He was tired and bored and he wished Sam was there.

"Have some ice chips, Mr. Callen," Hetty said, looking up from her book. "They're right there in front of you."

Callen stuck the spoon into the cup, picked up some ice chips and put them into his mouth. It was better than nothing but not much. "What time did you say Kensi and Deeks are coming?" he asked Granger.

"I think he's getting sick of us, Henrietta," Granger said, a look of amusement on his face.

"I didn't say that."

"They'll be here sometime between three and four," Granger replied. He tossed the half of the newspaper he wasn't reading onto the bed. "Here, read this."

Callen sighed then grunted in pain as he shifted his torso in an attempt to reach the hospital bed controls.

"Do you need help, Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked, barely able to mask her concern.

"No. I can do it."

She shook her head as she got up from her chair and went to assist him. "Are you trying to sit up?" she asked, deliberately keeping her tone soothing. She could see how frustrated he was. She was almost beginning to regret sending Sam off for so long.

"Yes," he admitted, a pained look on his face as Hetty pressed the correct control button and raised his bed so that he was in more of a sitting position.

"Better?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Yes, thank you, Hetty."

"You're welcome," she said, returning to her chair. "You should just ask for help if you need it. Everyone does at one time or another."

"I know. I will…" He picked up the remote control to the television set and turned it on then began flicking through the channels. He watched a few minutes of Jerry Springer before changing that in disgust. Then he watched a few minutes of The Young and The Restless but had no tolerance for that either. After watching a few minutes each of The Home Shopping Network, Friends and The People's Court, he turned the television off. Drowsiness eventually overcame him once again and he drifted off to sleep.

"I've seen toddlers with more ability to entertain themselves," Granger remarked, once he was sure that Callen was asleep.

"He doesn't do sick very well," Hetty said. "He never has. He's not one to sit around watching television. When Miss Blye and Mr. Deeks get here, I'd like to go out and find him a tablet or a Chromebook. That should help to occupy his time."

"Really?" Granger asked, scowling. "Is that a work related expense?"

Hetty narrowed her eyes as she stared at Granger. "Whether you approve it for work or not makes no difference. I'll just buy it myself if you'd like. I don't mind."

Granger shook his head. "That's not necessary. It's not a problem."

"Why thank you, Owen," Hetty said, smiling sweetly. "I'm sure Mr. Callen will thank you as well."

Granger spent a few minutes searching with his phone. "There's a Best Buy about 20 minutes away. I can drive you there after Deeks and Blye get here. They can stay with him until we get back."

"Are you sure you're not just checking up on me so I don't spend too much?" Hetty asked.

"If you want to take a taxi instead, that's your prerogative," Granger stated. He had rented a car at the airport when they had arrived in Seattle.

"No, no. I'll take you up on your offer. Why spend money unnecessarily on a taxi?"

Granger wanted to make a comment about unnecessarily spending money on an electronic device just to keep Callen's boredom at bay, but decided that would be unwise. Besides, Callen had been hurt while on assignment so he supposed it was the least they could do.

xxxxx

Callen had just woken up when the doctor finally came into his cubicle in the ICU. "Hello, Mr. Callen, I'm Dr. Hathaway," he said extending his hand to Callen. "I'm sorry it's taken so long to get to you today. I had to perform an emergency surgical procedure."

"That's okay," said Callen. He sent a pointed look in Hetty's direction and she immediately took the hint.

"Come along, Owen," she said. "Let's give them some privacy."

Granger got to his feet and followed Hetty. "We'll be right outside," he said to Callen before leaving the room.

"I'd like you to lie back so I can take a look at you," the doctor said as he pressed the control button on the bed until it was once again flat. After Callen was stretched out on the bed as instructed, the doctor gently removed the gauze from his abdomen and examined the wound. "It's looking pretty good," the doctor said. He proceeded to redress it and take all of Callen's vital signs, nodding approvingly when that was complete. "You're definitely doing better." He then bent down to take a quick look at Callen's catheter bag and rose with a concerned look on his face. "Hmm…"

"What is it?" Callen asked apprehensively, not sure if he could deal with any more problems.

"It looks like there's a little bit of blood in your urine. It might not be anything, but I don't want to take any chances so I'm going to send you down for an ultrasound."

"That doesn't sound good," Callen said, obviously rattled by what the doctor had said.

"I don't think there's anything to worry about," Dr. Hathaway said reassuringly. "I'm just being extra cautious because of everything that's happened to you. It's very likely nothing at all."

"Okay," Callen said, nodding, though he didn't look particularly convinced.

"Have you been having any flank pain?" the doctor asked.

Callen shook his head. "No, my ribs hurt and I've had pain in my abdomen. I've just been kind of sore all over."

"Those are all normal symptoms with what you've gone through," Dr. Hathaway stated. "You're going to need to drink some water beforehand. Four glasses would be ideal if you think you can do it, but if not, just drink what you can comfortably. I don't want you to make yourself sick. You don't need that extra strain on your body right now."

"I'm pretty thirsty," Callen said, relieved that at least he could finally drink something. "I'm sure I can manage."

"Okay then, someone will be up to transport you in about an hour or so. I'll send a nurse in with some water for you to drink. And for some good news, I don't see any reason for you to be in the ICU any longer. I'll leave orders for you to be transferred to the regular surgical ward after the ultrasound. And we can try you on something light this evening for dinner."

"Yeah? That is good news. Thanks, Doctor."

Dr. Hathaway left the room and Callen sighed heavily as he raised the level of the bed once again. He was already sick of this place and now there might be another complication. He glanced over at Hetty and Granger as they came back into the room.

"So Agent Callen, how are you doing?" Granger asked.

"Fine," Callen replied. "I'm getting out of the ICU."

"Why that's wonderful news," Hetty said, but after observing him closely, she could tell by his tone and the look on his face that there was something more. "But?"

"The doctor wants me to get an ultrasound. It's probably no big deal though."

Hetty waited, but he didn't elaborate any further. "Is there a reason for this?" she finally asked once she realized waiting patiently wasn't going to work on him.

"There's some blood in my urine…He said it's most likely nothing, but he wants to make sure."

Hetty kept her expression calm and cool as she gently patted his hand. She could see that he was anxious and truth be told, she was as well, but worrying wasn't going to help. "Try not to worry, Grisha," she said softly, his name coming to her a little more easily now. "You're doing much better. I think everything will be fine."

He nodded and smiled faintly, but his blue eyes looked sad. "What time is Sam coming?" he asked. He already knew his visit with Kensi and Deeks was going to be interrupted. Someone would likely be coming to bring him down for the ultrasound when they were there. On the positive side though, once he was in a regular room, there would no longer be a two visitor limit.

At that moment, Hetty was tempted to call Sam and bring him back right then, but she decided to wait it out. She didn't want to wake him if he was finally managing to get some rest. If he happened to come back early though, contrary to what she had told him that morning, she would be quite happy to see him. "He should be here by seven," she answered.

Callen nodded. Seven o'clock. That wasn't too bad. Despite what he'd told Hetty previously, he was very glad Sam was still in Seattle.

Just then, a blonde nurse came in with a plastic pitcher and cup which she placed on his tray. "Here's the water the doctor wants you to drink before your ultrasound," she said with a perky smile. "Is there anything else I can get for you?"

"No thank you," he said, shaking his head. "This is fine."

"Okay, just buzz if you need me."

The nurse left the room and Callen picked up the pitcher and poured some water into the glass, his hand shaking slightly as he did so. Afraid he was going to drop it, he quickly put it back down on the tray. Damn, he was weak. He wondered how long it was going to take to fully recover. Hetty and Granger were both just watching him in silence. Granger looked extremely uncomfortable. "What?" Callen finally asked, shifting his gaze from one to the other. He felt like a specimen under a magnifying glass, especially with Granger. It was just very awkward. He'd be glad when Kensi and Deeks got there. "Why don't you just sit down and go back to your reading."

Hetty nodded and returned to her chair. Granger opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something, but then closed it again and also took a seat. Callen began to slowly sip his water and turned the television back on, just to kill the silence in the room.

xxxxx

Jeff Anderson took his cell phone out of his pocket and pressed the speed dial then put the phone to his ear. "Hey it's me," he whispered when the voice at the other end of the line answered.

"I hope you have something important to tell me," the man's voice said.

"I installed the listening device like you requested," Jeff said, "and it paid off. The doctor is sending him for an ultrasound in a little under an hour. This may be your chance to snatch him."

"That doesn't give us much time."

"No, it doesn't," Jeff said, "but I thought you'd want to know."

"You thought correctly," the voice said. "Be on standby. We'll see you very soon…"


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks so much for the great response to the last chapter. I really appreciate it_ _J_ _Unfortunately, I have to give the same warning once again. If you don't like cliffhangers, this chapter is not for you lol. You're all warned ;)_

 _A note to Skippy. You certainly don't owe me an apology for a short review. You've given me such nice ones and I appreciate anything that someone takes the time to write. You, Caroline, Country Girl, Cheryl and French Girl have all been very faithful guest reviewers and I'm sorry I'm unable to thank you individually._

 _Thanks a lot, everyone, for your continued support._

xxxxx

After he left the hospital, Sam had done as Hetty had directed. He had taken a taxi to the hotel and bought himself a spicy green papaya salad and a drink before heading upstairs. He soon discovered that his room wasn't just any ordinary room, but rather an executive suite with a beautiful view of the city. There was also a separate bedroom which had a king-sized bed with a pillow top mattress and seven pillows. Hetty had definitely outdone herself. If he hadn't been so worried about G, he would have really enjoyed it, but how could he when his partner was still so sick and the target of some nameless, faceless enemy? He sat in the living room and ate his salad as he looked out the window at the view of the Space Needle. He had to say it was pretty impressive. He knew there was a rotating restaurant inside. Maybe their team could go there before they left Seattle. It would be a nice treat after all they had gone through. He smiled at the thought of it, allowing himself to think of something pleasant for a few moments.

He was startled by the sudden ring of his new cell phone. His thoughts instantly went to a dark place, fearing something bad had happened to his partner. He quickly grabbed the phone and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Michelle's number on the caller ID. "Hey baby," he said as he clicked on the phone. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Sam. How are you?"

Sam could detect the worried undertones in Michelle's voice and he wondered just what Hetty had told his wife. "I'm good too. How's Kamran? Is she doing okay?"

"Well, she misses you. We both do, but she's fine," Michelle replied. "She's playing over at Bridget's house."

"That's good…" Sam said. Bridget was Kamran's best friend, a sweet little girl. He was glad that his daughter was able to go about her daily life and not be affected by what went on with him. He couldn't help but be a little disappointed that she wasn't home though. He would have liked to have spoken with her.

"Sam, Hetty said…"

Sam felt his anger flare up as he interrupted his wife. "I don't care what Hetty said. She is overreacting. Fine, I admit I'm tired, but she doesn't have to treat me like some little kid that needs to be told what to do. I would have been perfectly fine to stay with G. I could have slept there. The chair wasn't that bad."

Michelle started laughing. "Oh Sam, I was just going to say that Hetty said Callen is doing better."

"Oh…" Sam said and then chuckled as some of the tension left his body. "Yeah…yeah he is doing better, but he's still in danger and we have no idea who is after him."

"You'll find whoever it is, Sam…" She paused and then went on. "I guess I should let you go. Hetty said she sent you to a hotel to get some rest."

"Yeah, she forced me," Sam said, his tone disgruntled.

"She's only doing what she thinks is best for you. You know how much she worries about your team."

"I understand that, but G needs me right now. He's unable to defend himself."

"He'll be protected until you get back there Sam. Try not to worry. And Sam? When you do go back to the hospital, please be careful. I want you back home in one piece."

"I'll be careful. Give baby girl a kiss for me."

"I will. Tell Callen I'm thinking of him and I hope he recovers quickly."

"I'll tell him. I love you, baby."

"Love you too."

Sam clicked off his phone and looked out at the view for a few more minutes before he headed into the bathroom to shower. He had to admit the hot water felt extremely good as it pelted down on his sore muscles. After the shower, he toweled himself off and put on some sweats Hetty had provided. He then stretched out on the luxurious bed and was asleep almost immediately.

xxxxx

"Are you sure Bertha isn't just a figment of your overactive imagination?" Kensi asked Deeks who was grinning boyishly at her.

"Of course not," he said. "Don't you think cafeteria ladies deserve time off too? She can't be here all the time." He dipped a French fry into a pool of ketchup on his plate and put it into his mouth.

Kensi took a bite of her burger as she looked around the cafeteria. She had to admit, it felt good just to be out in public having lunch. After all that had taken place, it was nice to be doing something ordinary. "I can't wait to get discharged tomorrow," she said before taking a long sip of her soda through the straw.

"It hasn't been too bad, has it?" Deeks asked. "Private room, a devastatingly handsome roommate who fulfills your every whim…"

"My every whim?" Kensi asked. "I can't really recall asking you for anything at all."

"Maybe not," Deeks admitted, "but if you had, I would have taken care of it right away, no questions asked."

Kensi took a fry off Deeks' plate and chewed it thoughtfully. "We need to get Callen something at the gift shop," she said after she had swallowed.

"Like what?" Deeks asked. "You can't have flowers in the ICU. Besides, I don't think Callen is really a flowers kind of guy."

"I didn't say anything about flowers. I'm sure there are other things we can get him. He deserves a gift to brighten his spirits."

"How do you know his spirits need brightening?" Deeks asked. "How do you even know he's awake?"

Kensi shot him an annoyed look. "I'm sure with everything he's gone through that he could use something to lift his spirits, Deeks. It will let him know we're thinking of him. Are you saying we shouldn't get him a present?"

Deeks shook his head. "No. Of course not, Kensi…" He sighed, unsure why he was giving her a hard time. Maybe he was just overtired. "I don't really know what I'm saying. You're right. We'll get him something. We can stop there after we've finished lunch."

"Good." She smiled to herself as she resumed eating her food. She really hoped that Callen was awake and doing better. She was looking forward to seeing him.

When they had finished their lunch, Kensi pushed her wheelchair back from the table and they headed off to the gift shop. "So…what do you get for the man who has nothing?" Deeks asked with a grin as they looked around.

"Well, we know we can't get flowers. I don't think balloons are allowed on the ICU either," Kensi said. She set her sights on a brown teddy bear wearing a blue sweater that said "Get Well" on it. "That's cute. Let's get that."

Deeks made a face but nodded. "Sure…yeah, I guess so. Doesn't Callen call Sam "Teddy" sometimes when he's trying to get under his skin? I think we need something else though. Maybe magazines or a book?"

"Magazines are good," Kensi said as she began to move her wheelchair over to that section of the gift shop. "What kind do you think we should get?"

"I don't know…He's really not a very easy person to buy for. " _Sports Illustrated"_ would be good, I think."

Kensi nodded. "Puzzles?" she asked as she picked up a crossword puzzle magazine from the bottom shelf.

" _Playboy_ ," Deeks said, grinning as he grabbed the latest issue.

"No," Kensi stated.

"Why not?" Deeks asked. "That's something he'd actually like. Some of the models might be wearing teddies. That can be our theme."

"It's not appropriate," said Kensi. "We're not getting him that."

"What do you want to get him?" Deeks asked, rolling his eyes. " _Woman's Day_ " and " _Good Housekeeping_ "?

Kensi glared at him.

"Fine." Deeks placed it back on the shelf. "How about " _Maxim_?"

"Alright," Kensi agreed as she grabbed issues of " _Time_ " and " _Reader's Digest_ ," as well.

"We could get him some chocolates or something for when he's feeling better," Deeks suggested.

Kensi shook her head. "No. Let's bring him those when he actually is feeling better. It's just a tease when he can't eat them right away."

"Okay, I guess we have enough for now then," Deeks said. "Once he's out of the ICU we can get him something better. And once he's eating we can bring him good stuff to eat and drink instead of hospital food. "

Kensi nodded and Deeks went to over to the cashier to pay for the bear and the magazines. After that, the two headed off to the ICU.

xxxxx

Callen put down the partly full cup, feeling bloated and slightly nauseous. He'd gotten through about two and a half cups of water and was pretty sure he had reached his limit. The doctor had said not to make himself sick drinking it so he decided to stop.

"Had enough, Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked. She had been watching him while trying to pretend that she was reading but she was no longer able to concentrate on the book.

He nodded. "Yes. I don't think I can drink anymore."

"I'm sure what you've had is more than sufficient," Hetty said. She didn't say that she thought he had drank the water much too quickly. She was sure mentioning that would only serve to irritate him.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was quarter to three. God, time was just really dragging. He hoped that Kensi and Deeks came at three rather than four or he was going to miss them entirely. He shifted restlessly, wincing a bit at the pain the movement caused him, then took his too flat pillow and unsuccessfully tried to fluff it up. He hoped the bed on the surgical ward was more comfortable than this one, but he had a feeling that wouldn't be the case.

Hetty gave him a sympathetic look, but at this point she really wasn't sure of anything she could do that would make him feel any better. Hopefully, the arrival of Kensi and Deeks would at least serve to distract him a little bit.

He had turned the television set off for the second time but now turned it back on once again. Granger looked up from the newspaper but forced himself to remain silent. It was Callen's room, after all, and he hadn't asked for them to be there. However, when Callen turned it off once again after having gone through all the channels at lightning speed, he couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Agent Callen, is there something I can get for you?" he asked.

Callen turned towards Granger a slight smile on his lips. "No sir, why do you ask?" he asked innocently.

Granger stared at Callen, unsure if he was deliberately toying with him or not. "No reason…just wondering," he finally said, not willing to participate in whatever game Callen was attempting to engage him in.

Callen looked back at Granger for a few long moments and then turned his eyes away. He wasn't sure what he had been hoping Granger would do, but it hadn't been that. Realizing he wasn't going to accomplish anything, he allowed his eyes to close and slipped into a light doze.

xxxxx

Kensi quietly wheeled into Callen's ICU room with Deeks behind her carrying the bag from the gift shop. "How's he doing?" she whispered to Hetty and Granger.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Callen opened his eyes and smiled at Kensi.

"Callen!" Kensi happily returned his smile. "You're awake! You look wonderful."

"You really do," Deeks said, smiling at the agent. "Heck of a lot better than you looked yesterday."

Yeah, well I'm feeling much better," Callen said looking happily at the two team members. "It's really good to see you both."

"Speaking of that…" Deeks turned his gaze towards Hetty and Granger. "The head nurse out there informed me that the two visitor ICU rule is to be observed, no exceptions. Now's your chance to take a break if you want."

Granger got to his feet followed by Hetty. "If you deem anything to be the least bit suspicious, do not hesitate to contact us," he said to Deeks.

"We're going out to run an errand…" But suddenly Hetty felt apprehensive about leaving Callen. "Unless perhaps we should just stay in the waiting room?" she asked, turning her eyes toward Granger.

"I'll be fine, Hetty," Callen assured here. "Nothing's going to happen."

Hetty nodded. "Alright…we won't be long," she said and she and Granger headed out.

"You were right about him needing some kind of electronic device to keep him occupied," Granger said, shaking his head as they started down the hallway to leave the ICU. "Boy, were you right."

Hetty smiled as she heard Callen laughing at something Deeks or Kensi had said. It was the best sound she had heard in days. "I think having his team with him is probably the best medicine he can have right now."

xxxxx

"So, are you really doing okay, Kensi?" Callen asked, looking at her with obvious concern in his eyes. "I heard you had to have surgery."

Kensi nodded. "I'm good, Callen. I've already started getting around on crutches. Deeks just thought it was too far to be going around the hospital without a wheelchair."

"And I was right, Kensalina," Deeks said.

"Yes, Deeks, you were right." Kensi nodded agreeably.

"Oh, by the way, I need to get an ultrasound, just a routine thing," Callen said casually. "So someone's going to be coming up to transport me down there soon. Just to let you know…"

"Oh that kind of sucks," Deeks said.

"We're not going to have much time," said Kensi with a sigh, obviously disappointed.

"I am getting moved out of the ICU though," Callen said. "So I'll have a room on the surgical floor afterwards and no more two visitor limit. Sam should be back here around 7."

"That's great news," Kensi said, her expression brightening.

"I'm happy about it," Callen said.

"So we can come back later," Deeks said. "You think Hetty and Granger are still going to be around?"

"I'm not sure," Callen replied. "Probably."

"So what's it like?" Deeks asked. "Being under Granger's protection?"

Callen shrugged. "He means well…"

"But?"

"I don't know…" said Callen. "I guess it's a little annoying having someone watch every move I make, but Sam can't be here all the time and I do realize I'm not exactly in shape to be fending off attackers right now…" For someone who was used to taking care of himself, it was a hard thing to have to admit, but he knew it was the truth. At least for the time being, he needed to depend on others for protection.

"Still no idea of who could be behind all this?" Kensi asked.

Callen shook his head. "Honestly, I haven't put a whole lot of effort into trying to figure it out yet. I'm still really tired and it's been kind of hard to focus…"

"Of course it is," Kensi said, giving him an encouraging smile. "You've been through a lot both physically and mentally. It's going to take some time to recover from all that."

"Yeah…I do need to try to figure it out though…" he said. "Nobody can do it for me…"

The three agents went silent for a few long moments before Deeks remembered the gifts. "Hey, we brought you something," he said, passing the bag over to Callen.

"Callen took the bag and opened it. The first thing he pulled out was the bear. "Thanks, guys," he said.

"We know it's not much," Kensi said, sounding apologetic.

"It's great, really," Callen attempted to reassure her.

"We were pretty sure you don't already have one," Deeks said with a grin.

"I definitely don't have one," Callen said, smiling.

"We thought he'd remind you of Sam," Deeks said.

Callen smirked.

"I didn't say that. That came from Deeks alone," Kensi stated. "There are some magazines too."

"And these are perfect," Callen said as he took them out of the bag and took a quick look at them. "I can definitely use something to help pass the time. I kept turning the t.v. on and off earlier. I thought Granger was going to strangle me."

"Yeah, I can't imagine he'd be thrilled with that," Deeks commented with an amused look.

"Well now that you'll be in a regular room, we'll be able to see you more often," Kensi said, smiling.

Just then, two attendants wearing scrubs, one male, one female, entered the room. "Mr. Callen? We're here to take you down for an ultrasound." the male attendant said.

Callen nodded. "Yeah, I've been expecting you." He turned to Kensi and Deeks. "Thanks for coming guys. I'll see you later?"

Deeks turned to Kensi, his eyes questioning. He didn't even have to verbalize it as she nodded. "Go," she said. "I'll just meet you back at my room when you're done."

"Okay, I'll see you later." He gave her a brief kiss on her lips as the attendants helped Callen transfer onto the gurney and they left the ICU cubicle.

Jeff Anderson was still standing guard outside the room. "Do you want me to come along?" he asked.

Deeks looked at Callen who shrugged. "Sure. I guess so," Deeks replied.

They left the ICU and the attendants pushed Callen's gurney past the main elevator and down a long corridor to another elevator. "Why are we going this way?" Deeks asked.

"This is the quickest way to get to Ultrasound," the male attendant answered. "Unless you have a better way to go?"

"Uh no…this is fine," Deeks said, watching as the female attendant pressed the down button. A short time later, the elevator doors opened and the small group stepped inside.

Deeks couldn't help but feel uneasy in the elevator. He could feel his heartbeat accelerate and he was starting to feel a little bit anxious. He looked at Callen to see if the other man shared his feeling but he appeared woozy and didn't seem to be paying much attention to his surroundings. He observed the attendants but neither of them was acting particularly suspiciously. He discreetly checked his weapon, ensuring that it was within easy reach if he needed it. He then took a deep breath to calm himself and just focus on the task at hand, getting Callen safely to his ultrasound. Finally, the elevator reached the designated floor. The doors opened and Deeks stepped out into the corridor in front of Callen's gurney.

They never stood a chance.

The second Deeks walked out of the elevator, his head was viciously slammed with a pistol from someone who came up beside him from outside the elevator. He slumped to the floor, unconscious.

"De…" Callen's adrenaline kicked in when he saw Deeks go down, but a large hand was clamped down over his mouth and another set of hands roughly held him down. "Drug him, Alyssa, hurry up," one of the men whispered harshly. Callen's eyes swept the area in search of someone to help them, but the general vicinity appeared deserted except for the assailants who had suddenly multiplied. He struggled to get away, however he was outnumbered and much too weak. He watched helplessly as the contents of a syringe were injected into his IV. The last thing he saw was Deeks' limp body being dragged towards a supply closet before he succumbed to the effects of whatever he had been injected with.


	16. Chapter 16

_Wow! You guys gave such an overwhelming response to the last chapter that I forced myself to do another mid-week update. Still no real answers but at least it moves things along a little bit for you. Thanks, as always, for taking the time to read and review_ _:)_

 _Note to French Fan – your review made me laugh because I work at a pen company and I never even thought of Callen needing one! In any case, you should be happy with Kensi at the beginning of this :D_

xxxxx

After Deeks had accompanied Callen and the transfer team out of the room, Kensi spent a few minutes browsing through the magazines they had bought for Callen. It was then that she realized they hadn't thought to bring him any pens. She decided to go back to the gift shop to get some. While at the gift shop, she thought about what Callen had said about how tired he was and decided to get a word search magazine in case he wasn't yet up to focusing on crossword puzzles. After making her purchase, she went back up to the ICU. As she passed the front desk, she noticed a group of nurses talking in hushed voices but didn't really think anything of it. She put the magazine and pens with the rest of Callen's belongings and was on her way out of the room when one of the nurses approached her.

"Excuse me, Miss," she said. "Were you visiting with Mr. Callen earlier?"

Kensi nodded. "He went down for an ultrasound. I was just leaving something for him."

The nurse nodded grimly. "Yes, that's where he was supposed to go, but I'm afraid he never arrived."

"No, that can't be. I was here when they came to transport him…" Even as she spoke the words, Kensi knew something very bad had occurred. She had just taken out her cell phone to call Hetty when she saw her and Granger approaching.

"Hetty. Something's wrong. Callen never arrived to get his ultrasound."

Hetty's face immediately paled. "Are you sure, Kensi?" she asked. Granger immediately pulled out his cell phone and stepped away.

The nurse who had spoken to Kensi turned to Hetty. "A transport team came to get him, but he wasn't in his room. We called down to Ultrasound, but no one there has seen him."

"Oh Hetty, a transport team did come to get Callen but they must have been imposters. Deeks and the agent who was guarding Callen went with him." Kensi shook her head in obvious dismay.

"Hetty patted Kensi's arm supportively. "I'm sure we will get to the bottom of this," she said, but the expression on her face belied her words. Already she knew they had botched this protection detail horribly and now not only Callen was missing, but Deeks and Anderson as well.

"I called Beale," Granger said as he walked back over to the two women. "He and Nell are going to tap into the hospital surveillance footage." He turned to the nurse who had been speaking to them. "Have you notified Security?"

The nurse nodded. "Yes, someone from their office will be here any moment."

Kensi turned her wheelchair and moved away from the small group, trying to keep her emotions under control. Multiple scenarios of what could have happened kept running through her mind, each one more gruesome than the previous one. She mentally cursed her broken ankle, knowing that she would have accompanied Callen and Deeks if the circumstances had been different. Then again, if circumstances were different, maybe none of this would have happened and they all would be safe and sound in Los Angeles.

Hetty walked over to Kensi and looked at the younger woman with concern in her eyes. "Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

Kensi sighed as she shook her head. She didn't want to talk about her feelings. She needed to keep them tightly bottled up inside. Turning into a blubbering mess would not help Deeks or Callen. "Sam needs to know what's happening," she said after a long silence.

Hetty nodded. "I'm going to go to the hotel to tell him. I really don't think this is something I should say over the phone." She turned to Granger. "Owen, can I borrow the car? I need to go inform Mr. Hanna of what's transpired."

Granger nodded as he pulled the keys from his pocket. "Do you want me to go with you?" he asked, not really looking like he wanted to.

"No," Hetty said, shaking her head. "I think its best you stay here. Hopefully, you will get some kind of a lead on what's happened."

"Alright," Granger said, looking a tad relieved at being let off the hook.

"I'll be back soon," Hetty said to Kensi who nodded. Then Hetty headed off to face the lion in his den.

xxxxx

Sam woke up at 4:45 feeling much better than he had earlier. He leisurely stretched his muscles then glanced at his cell phone just to make sure he hadn't somehow missed a call. He was relieved to see that he hadn't. No calls meant that everything was good with G. He slowly sat up and decided to get dressed. He didn't really care what Hetty said. He'd eaten, he'd showered, he'd gotten some sleep and he would grab something to eat for dinner a little bit later. He wasn't waiting any longer. He was going back to the hospital now. He'd been away from his partner for long enough.

He had just finished dressing when he heard a rapping on his hotel room door. "Who could that be?" he murmured as he headed to the door. He looked through the peephole and his heart sunk when he saw Hetty standing outside the door. He took a deep breath and slowly released it then opened the door. He already knew that something terrible had happened to his partner.

"Mr. Hanna," Hetty said, staring up at him with sorrowful eyes.

Sam shook his head, his emotions already threatening to brim over. "G's not… please tell me he didn't…"

"Mr. Callen is alive, Sam… well as far as we know…"

"As far as you know? What the hell, Hetty. What happened to him?" Distress turned to anger in the blink of an eye. He clenched both fists tightly in an attempt to restrain himself.

"May I come in?" Hetty asked, trying to keep cool despite being the direct target of Sam's wrath. "I'd rather not discuss this in the hallway."

He wordlessly stood aside so that Hetty could enter the suite and watched as she made her way over to the sofa and sat down. He closed the door and followed her.

"Please Sam, take a seat," she directed softly.

At first he refused. He just stood there, glaring at the diminutive woman, but then he realized he needed to know what she knew. He sat down, albeit reluctantly, in a blue, overstuffed chair, directly facing her. "Tell me."

"Mr. Callen was going for an ultrasound. Mr. Deeks and Agent Anderson accompanied him. I…" she hesitated before going on. "Evidently, the team that came to transfer him were imposters...he never arrived at the ultrasound department."

"Why was Deeks with him? I thought you and Granger were supposed to be watching his back?" He ran his hand over his face, still trying to take in what she was saying. "Why was G getting an ultrasound to begin with?"

"The doctor discovered some blood in his urine during his checkup. He wanted to check it out…"

Sam nodded. That wasn't good. "And why weren't you and Granger there?"

She remained silent. The reason she had decided to leave the hospital seemed very unimportant in light of what had happened.

"Hetty?"

"Ms. Blye and Mr. Deeks wanted to visit with Mr. Callen and as you know, only two visitors are allowed at a time in the ICU. Mr. Callen was very bored…I decided to take advantage of the break to go get him a tablet or small computer for him to entertain himself…"

Sam stared at her in disbelief. "You decided? And what about Granger? Did he go with you?"

Hetty nodded.

"I don't get it," Sam said as he stood up and started to pace through the room. "You both needed to go and get him a tablet or whatever you were going to get for him? It's not like G asked for it, did he? He could have waited or you could have called me, Hetty. I gladly would have stopped to get one before I went back to the hospital." He could understand her wanting to get G something. He knew how his partner got when he was bored, but at the very least Granger should have stayed behind and accompanied G to get the ultrasound.

"You'll never know how sorry I am, Sam," Hetty said. "We thought Mr. Callen was adequately protected."

"Well he wasn't."

"No…no he wasn't," Hetty said.

"I mean, I could understand if Kensi and Deeks were okay, but they're not. Deeks has one good arm and Kensi has one good leg." Sam was getting more and more frustrated. "Where are Deeks and Anderson anyhow?"

"They are also unaccounted for," Hetty admitted.

"So Deeks is gone too? That's just great." This just kept getting better and better. Sam shook his head in disgust before he looked at her accusingly, his voice on the verge of shouting. "I NEVER would have left him, Hetty! You said you'd keep him safe!"

The look Sam gave Hetty cut her to the quick but she knew he had every right to feel the way he did. She felt that way herself. She deeply regretted ever having left the hospital. She blamed herself for anything that might have happened to Callen and Deeks. "I'm sorry I made you leave him, Sam," she said quietly.

"I'm going back to the hospital." Sam ignored her apology. It wasn't anything he would be accepting any time soon, not before Callen was safe and sound anyway.

"I have a rental car parked down in the garage," Hetty stated.

"Fine, let's go." He was really in no mood at all to sit in a car with Hetty right then, but it was the fastest and most efficient way to return to the hospital and that was all he cared about at the moment, trying to find out what had happened to his missing team members as quickly as possible.

xxxxx

Sam and Hetty met up with Granger and Kensi in the security office. "Anything yet?" Sam asked Granger, his eyes cold as he faced the other man.

"Not yet," Granger replied. "Eric and Nell are searching through surveillance footage and the staff here is going through it as well.

"How are you doing Kensi?" Sam asked as he bent down to give her a hug.

"I have to admit, I'm really scared, Sam…just when things were starting to get better, this had to happen…" Kensi said, returning his comforting gesture and hugging him tightly. "Are you holding up okay?"

"Just worried."

"Hopefully they'll find something soon."

"Guess he's not very happy with us," Granger said to Hetty as she walked over to him.

"Can you blame him, Owen?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No…no I can't. I obviously underestimated what, whoever this is, was capable of.

"As did I," Hetty said.

"Well, regrets aren't going to help us now. Our main objective right now is to get our people back safely."

"Agreed."

Sam and Kensi stayed separate from Hetty and Granger until Granger's phone rang. "It's Beale," he announced and Sam and Kensi quickly joined them. "I'm going to put you on speaker, Eric. Hetty, Sam and Kensi are with me."

"I'm going to send some video footage to your phone, Assistant Director," Eric said. "I'm afraid it's not very easy to watch."

"Just send it," Granger ordered.

Moments later, the video footage arrived on Granger's phone. The team members all gathered around to watch. "Deeks!" Kensi was the first to react when she saw him fall to the floor, unconscious, after being struck. "Oh no."

They continued to watch in dismay as Callen was held down and then drugged. Sam felt sick to his stomach as he watched his partner struggling to get away, but helpless to do so. "I'm so sorry, G," he whispered. His only consolation was that they had abducted him rather than just killing him on the spot.

Granger was watching the grainy footage closely as he tried to wrap his head around what was being shown. "Is that…that's Anderson holding Callen down..."

"What?!" Sam exclaimed. "Go back."

Granger set the video back and they all watched closely, seeing what Granger had seen.

"Anderson's dirty," Sam growled. "Son of a bitch."

"Keep watching," Kensi demanded. "They're dragging Deeks towards that closet."

"Where is this?" Granger asked the head security officer. "Can you take us there?"

The security officer nodded and he led them quickly down multiple hallways with Sam pushing Kensi's wheelchair. She was very pale and had her hands clasped tightly together in her lap. Granger had taken Eric off speaker phone and was still talking to him as they walked. "Can you get traffic cam footage?" he asked.

"Already working on it," Eric replied. "They transferred Callen into a dark blue Ram cargo van, license plate number COD626."

"Get in touch with the Seattle Police Department and have them put out an APB on Callen and that van," Granger commanded as they finally reached the same elevator that Deeks and Callen had been in. They all stepped inside and there was tense silence until the elevator doors opened.

"Blood," Kensi whispered, her eyes immediately drawn to the spot where Deeks had fallen.

Sam rushed ahead of the group and pulled open the closet door then knelt down besides Deeks who was lying in a heap on the floor. "Deeks? Deeks can you hear me?" Sam asked, putting his hand gently on the younger man's shoulder, but taking care not to move him.

"Sam?" Kensi had wheeled up behind him and was anxiously watching Deeks for some sign of awareness.

"Sir? Can you let us in there?" Sam glanced up to see a couple of medical attendants and reluctantly moved out of the way as they began to attend to Deeks.

"He's going to be okay, Kensi," Sam said supportively as he stood beside her.

Kensi was silent. Sam didn't know that, nobody did. She mentally began to pray that Deeks would be okay. She couldn't lose him, she just couldn't.

"How is he?" she asked once the attendants had secured Deeks to a backboard and then efficiently transferred him to a gurney.

"His vital signs are stable," one of them answered. "We're taking him to the ER so a physician can examine him."

"But he's still unconscious…that's not good…"

"A doctor will be able to tell you more, Miss," the other attendant replied. "We really need to go now though."

Kensi watched as they quickly began to move her boyfriend down the hallway in the direction of the ER. She was trying hard to hold back tears. Deeks looked so vulnerable. It really scared her to see him like this.

"Come on, Kensi, I'll take you to the ER," Sam said gently. "Let me know right away if there's any word on G," he directed frostily at Hetty and Granger before he began pushing Kensi's wheelchair to follow the attendants.


	17. Chapter 17

_As always, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. You have all been really great which keeps my confidence up and helps me to keep going with this. You're finally going to get a few answers in this chapter._

 _Kudos to those of you who got the license plate reference in the last chapter. I did it for fun just to see if anyone would pick up on it. (Honestly, I probably wouldn't have if I read it in a story lol)._

 _Special thanks to SnoopGirl69 for your marathon reading/reviewing session. Really appreciate it and its flattering to know I kept your interest._

 _Thanks again to all of you :)_

xxxxx

Sam sat in one of the ER waiting room chairs, hoping that word of Deeks' condition would come soon. Kensi had finally finished giving Deeks' insurance information to the ER staff and was now sitting beside Sam in her wheelchair.

"Sam?" Kensi asked softly after they had been sitting silently for about 15 minutes.

"Yeah, what is it, Kensi?" he asked, turning his head to give her his complete attention.

"You seem angry…"

"Yeah, you could say that," he stated, not elaborating further.

"Are you mad at Deeks?" she asked, looking extremely worried. "None of this was his fault."

"No, no, I'm not mad at Deeks." He reached for her hand and took it, squeezing it reassuringly. "I know this wasn't Deeks' fault."

"So… who are you angry with?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't really feel like talking about this right now."

"Is it Hetty and Granger?" she persisted. "Because Callen encouraged Hetty to leave. He said nothing would happen."

"Really Kensi?" Sam snapped at her, his anger flaring quickly. "So you're saying this is G's fault?"

"Now you're being ridiculous," Kensi said. "Of course it's not his fault. It's no one's fault except the people who abducted him."

"Hetty forced me to leave. She shouldn't have."

"What do you think would have happened if you had been there?" Kensi asked. "Anderson, one man and one woman were in the elevator. Outside the elevator there were three more assailants, all of them armed. Even if it had been you and Granger, two on six is very bad odds, Sam and you would have had to try to protect Callen as well. You probably all would have ended up dead. I thank God that they didn't just shoot Deeks when he stepped off that elevator." She inwardly shuddered at the visions that had been constantly in her head since the newest chapter of this horror story had begun.

"You don't understand…I still should have been there…"

"Yes, well I think Michelle, Aidan and Kamran would beg to differ, Sam. They love you and they want you to return home to them." Kensi was speaking more gently now. "Hopefully, we'll get a lead on Callen really soon and get him back safely."

Sam wanted to say that if the tables were turned, if it was Deeks, that Kensi would have felt the same way he did, but he decided just to let it go. He didn't want to quarrel with her and he definitely didn't want to make her any more upset than she already was. He was silent for a little bit but then spoke quietly. "How was he doing…before this all happened?"

"Callen?"

He nodded.

"He was good, Sam," Kensi said, a trace of a smile on her face. "He was getting out of the ICU later today and he was looking forward to all of us being able to visit together."

"He was getting transferred out of ICU? I didn't know that," Sam said. "I guess he was doing better…I never really got to talk to him after he regained consciousness," he hung his head with a deep sigh. "He fell back asleep almost right away…and then Hetty made me leave before he woke up again…"

"I am sorry, Sam…" Kensi said, giving him a heartfelt look. "We just have to hope and pray that we'll find him soon and that he'll be okay…"

"Hello, I'm Dr. Lawson. Are you here for Martin Deeks?" a voice interrupted their conversation. They looked up to see a tall, distinguished looking middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair and a kind expression on his face.

"Yes, I am…we are," Kensi said, looking up at the doctor with anxious eyes. "How is he?"

"He's starting to come around. I thought it might be helpful if one of you was with him."

"I'll wait here," Sam said as Kensi gave him a grateful look and turned her wheelchair around to follow the doctor.

xxxxx

"Deeks? Deeks, can you hear me?" Kensi gently took his hand and brought it to her lips then clasped it between both of her hands. "I'm right here…everything's going to be okay."

"Ooooh…" Deeks groaned softly, but his eyes remained closed.

"Come on Deeks, open those baby blues for me," Kensi encouraged. "Please?"

Deeks tried to open his eyes, but quickly closed them again due to the brightness in the room. Dr. Lawson, who was standing on the opposite end of the bed from Kensi, quickly dimmed the light.

"Its okay, Deeks. The doctor turned down the light."

"Never could resist you, Fern." Deeks smiled softly and finally managed to get his eyes open.

"How are you?" Kensi asked, blinking back tears. "I've been so worried."

"Hey, I'm okay. Don't cry." He brushed away a tear on her cheek which had escaped her attempt to hold them back.

"Mr. Deeks? I'm Dr. Lawson. Sorry to interrupt, but I need to examine you." Deeks nodded his assent and the doctor went on to perform a series of tests to assess Deeks' mental status, motor and neurological functions. "Well, you seem to be doing pretty well," he said after he had completed the bedside tests. "But you were unconscious for quite some time. I'm going to send you for a CT scan. I'll be back after I set it up."

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Kensi asked after Dr. Lawson had left them alone.

"Nah," Deeks said, smiling. "I've got a pretty hard head."

Kensi nodded but found herself almost on the verge of tears yet again. "I'm sorry," she said, trying to get herself under control. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Come on, Kensi," Deeks said soothingly. "Look at everything you've been through in the past week. You have every right to be upset. I'm surprised you haven't broken down long before now."

"I just…we saw the surveillance footage and…God, Deeks…they could have killed you."

"Callen…" Deeks stared at her, suddenly hit with the memory of their team leader lying virtually helpless on the gurney in the elevator. "Kensi, is he alright?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, tears falling once again. "We don't know…they…they took him…"

Deeks closed his eyes, visibly upset. "Damn it."

Kensi gave him a few moments to compose himself, seeing how affected he was. "There wasn't anything you could have done," she finally whispered.

He nodded, but she could see he didn't really believe what she was telling him.

"Deeks?"

"I didn't protect him," he murmured as he opened his eyes again.

"Oh Deeks, you couldn't…" She put her head on the bed next to him with her arm resting on his chest. "They would have killed you. You were all alone in this. Anderson was working with them too." He didn't say anything, but he gently stroked her hair and she knew he was listening to her. "I love you," she said as she raised her head to meet his eyes. "We'll find Callen…I know we will…"

xxxxx

Coldness.

That was the first sensation Callen felt as he began to regain consciousness. He found himself shivering and realized he was lying on his side in a puddle of icy cold water. He had a dull headache which he assumed was a side effect of whatever drug they had used to knock him out with. He opened his eyes and saw nothing…only blackness. He went to move and realized his hands were bound in front of him and his feet were tied as well. He was still wearing his hospital gown and his feet were bare. His catheter and IV were both gone. He didn't even want to think about who had removed the catheter or how they had done it. He took a deep breath and painstakingly got into a sitting position, trying to ignore the pain in his abdomen. The wet hospital gown clung to his skin and made him feel even colder. He began working on the ropes binding his feet, but his fingers were freezing and his movements clumsy, especially with the way his hands were tied. He kept raising his hands to his mouth to try to warm them with his breath, but it proved to be mostly a futile gesture.

He froze when he saw them…two tiny yellow lights which glowed vibrantly in contrast to the blackness which surrounded them. He watched as they slowly grew larger and brighter. His heartbeat and his breathing both began to accelerate as he waited for whoever was approaching to arrive. He would have given anything to be untied with a weapon in his possession. He felt much too vulnerable like this. He knew he was pretty much defenseless against his captors. He finally could see that there were three figures approaching, two of them carrying lanterns. He silently watched as they got closer and closer, his anxiety steadily rising. The lanterns were illuminating the area and he now saw that he was in some sort of a large cave or underground passage with bumpy stone walls as far as he could see.

Finally they reached him. He recognized two of the people as the fraudulent transport members who had taken him from the ICU. He didn't recognize the other man who spoke. "Agent Callen…I am so happy to see you're finally awake. I'm afraid the drug we used kept you asleep a little bit longer than we expected, probably because of your weakened physical condition. I have to say it caused quite a bit of complaining from my men who were carrying you.

"Sorry to have inconvenienced them," Callen said sarcastically.

"No worries," the man said with an insincere smile. "They dropped you a few times, but lucky for you, you weren't awake to even notice."

"What's this about?" Callen snapped. He was tired of the shenanigans, tired of everything that had happened over this past lousy week. He just wanted to be back with his team, home in Los Angeles.

The smile left the man's face as he suddenly grabbed Callen's tied hands. He raised them up away from his body then viciously kicked Callen in the stomach. Callen doubled over in pain but refused to make a sound. "I give the orders here, not you," the man growled.

"Who the hell are you?" Callen asked defiantly, but received another hard kick for an answer.

"You don't listen very well, do you," the man commented as he let go of Callen's hands. "You'd better start listening or you'll be dead even sooner than I'd planned."

Callen wisely remained quiet as he put his hands protectively against his abdomen. He could see this nut job, whoever he was, had a very short fuse.

"Good boy," the man said, nodding approvingly. "You learn quickly." He just stood there, staring at Callen, almost as if he was daring him to speak again. Callen didn't bite, however. He forced his eyes away from the man and turned his gaze toward the other two people who were with him. The other man was maybe a little bit younger than the one who was speaking, but not by very much. They looked alike so he was guessing they were brothers. He could see that the woman was considerably younger, now that he had a chance to look at her. While the men appeared to be in their late 30s or early 40s, he guessed the woman to only be in her 20s, if that. There was a hard look on her face that made it difficult to tell.

"I give you permission to speak," the man said, seemingly disappointed that Callen had not done so. "Ask a question, make it count."

Callen pondered that for a few moments and finally answered him. "What's the reason for all this?" he asked quietly.

"Good question!" The man exclaimed. "First of all, let me introduce myself." He gave a mock bow as Callen stared at him incredulously. "My name is Jonathan Page. This is my brother Robert and our niece Alyssa."

Callen didn't respond as searched his memories, trying to place the names, but couldn't come up with anything.

When Callen didn't react, Jonathan began. "It all started a long time ago…13 years, to be exact…" he paused dramatically and Callen had to force himself not to roll his eyes. This guy was a real piece of work. He waited, trying to be patient. The man glared at him and finally continued. "We had another brother, Joe. He was my twin. His wife at the time, Alyssa's mother, decided to be a bitch and take her away from her father." He turned to the young woman and gently patted her back as she stared down at the ground. "He finally managed to track her down in a rural town in New Hampshire. She was a teacher."

Callen's eyes widened as it all came back to him. It had been a tiny little town with a one room schoolhouse. "Caroline…," he murmured.

The man smiled at him, seemingly pleased by his recollection. "Very good, Agent Callen. I'll let you get away with that one since you got it right. Now please don't speak out of turn again unless I call on you."

Yep, he was a real nut job alright.

He went on with his story. "He tracked her down and all he wanted was to bring her and their little girl safely home so they could be a family, but you and that jackass pilot who flew you there, ruined all that, didn't you?"

"I…" it hadn't been just him. Andy had flown him and a small team in to help the local law enforcement. Joe had totally lost it. He and two other men had taken Caroline and the children in the schoolhouse hostage. He remembered that Alyssa hadn't been in school that day and Caroline had refused to tell Joe where she was. "He killed her," Callen whispered. He had shot her point blank in the head. Callen could still remember hearing the screams of the schoolchildren inside when the shot had gone off.

"WRONG ANSWER, AGENT CALLEN!" Jonathan nodded at his brother who held Callen's arms in the air while he let loose with a flurry of punches, two to his jaw, one to each of his cheekbones and then countless hits to his torso. It was nothing he hadn't been through before except the ones to his abdomen were excruciating and he was pretty sure he now had another cracked rib to add to his collection. Finally, mercifully, the assault on his body stopped. Callen's breathing was harsh as he slumped down to the ground, trying to guard his abdomen from any more pain.

"He had no choice but to shoot her. It was kill or be killed," Jonathan stated.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Callen asked incredulously. "It was a woman and a bunch of little kids up against three men with guns. She couldn't have hurt anyone if she had wanted to."

"LIES!" Jonathan screamed. He kicked Callen repeatedly, this time aiming for his exposed right side. Callen squeezed his eyes shut as he gasped then tried to breathe through the newest attack being inflicted on him. "It was all lies and then you shot him! You shot my brother and he was never the same after that day."

"He didn't deserve to be. He killed an innocent woman." Callen turned his head to look at Alyssa but she refused to meet his gaze.

"She was a bitch who tried to control his life by taking away the person he loved most in this world. Your father loved you so much, Alyssa." Jonathan turned to her and hugged her. "You were the best thing in his life."

"Why are you bringing this all up now?" Callen questioned as Jonathan was no longer seemed to be enforcing his no-speaking rule. "You said it yourself, this was 13 years ago. Why now?"

"Because two months ago my brother died," Jonathan screamed. "He died after spending 13 years in a living hell of your making from a bullet that went through his abdomen and severed his spine. He was permanently paralyzed from the waist down from a bullet YOU put in him."

"Do you want an apology?" Callen asked, shaking his head in disgust. "Because I'm not going to give you one. He killed her. He terrorized innocent children. He deserved to be punished. He brought it all on himself. Case closed." His only regret was that they hadn't been able to save Caroline.

"I don't want an apology from you." Jonathan venomously spat at Callen as he spoke. "It would be nothing but empty words. But on Joe's deathbed, he made me promise that I would find a way to pay you back for what you did…you and the man who put you in that New Hampshire schoolhouse 13 years ago. And that is what I did. Andy Billings is dead and soon, you will be as well."

"Andy? Really?" Callen asked. "He was a pilot. He had nothing to do with it. I get that you're pissed at me but he never should have been a part of your twisted plot. And what about his wife and kids? They were as innocent as those schoolchildren your brother terrorized. What did you do to them?"

"They were unharmed and have been released. I'm not a monster, Agent Callen, just a seeker of justice."

"Justice? Really?" Callen smirked. "That's a joke."

"It doesn't matter what you think," Jonathan smiled wickedly. "You are totally at my mercy now. I can do anything I want to you and no one will be able to stop me."

Callen felt a cold chill run down his spine at the man's words. Unfortunately, at that moment, what he said was pretty much true. "So what's your plan?" he asked, fearing the answer, but compelled to seek it out anyway.

"Ahh…a curious little kitten," Jonathan said as he reached down and stroked the top of Callen's head. "You know what they say about curiosity, Agent Callen."

Callen twisted away from him in revulsion. Everything about this man screamed depravity. His touch made Callen's skin crawl.

Jonathan chuckled as Callen pulled away, enjoying his discomfort. "You're probably wondering where you are? This is the Whitebark Mine. It's been abandoned for a very long time. I found the old coot who owned it and he sold it to me, quick sale, cash transaction, no questions asked. He was only too happy to sell it to me."

Callen looked puzzled, but he didn't say anything. He just waited for Jonathan to go on.

"I've done very well in life, Agent Callen. I'm a very successful man and I've devoted myself to caring for my brother's child. Alyssa has had all the best life has to offer. Good schools, fine clothes. She's traveled all over the world. It doesn't make up for what you did to her father, but it helps ease the pain somewhat. In any case, I digress, I bought this mine just for you. Eventually I will even change the name of it to the Callen Mine."

"What the hell are you even talking about?" Callen couldn't hold the words back.

Jonathan ignored Callen's outburst. "This mine is much too dangerous to be left open. I wouldn't want an innocent child or a furry little puppy to stumble across it and get lost inside. No…that just wouldn't do at all. So you see, Agent Callen, I'm going to seal up the entrance with dynamite. Kaboom! No one will be coming in…and you won't be going out… Think of it as your own personal tomb…a cool, peaceful place for you to eventually die and then spend eternity."

Callen listened to his words with an increasing feeling of dread. Had he really survived the plane crash only to meet his end here, at the hands of this freak? "You wasted all that money just to make me suffer? I'm sure there were easier, cheaper ways."

Jonathan smiled and shrugged. "What can I say? I have money to burn, Agent Callen. It seemed like a rather interesting way to pass the time. Plus, I really was just paying for the land, not the mine itself which is pretty much worthless. Perhaps, someday I'll return and open it up again just to find your skeleton and have a good laugh."

Callen shuddered. This guy really was a sick bastard. "You won't get away with it…even if I die, you're going to get caught. My partner will probably kill you with his bare hands when he gets a hold of you."

"You can tell yourself that if it brings you comfort," Jonathan said. "Part of me is sad I won't be able to witness your demise. When Andy was unable to get the job done, I realized that it was a sign from God that it wasn't enough just to kill you. You need to suffer. Your death will hopefully come slowly and you'll have lots of time to think before it happens. I'm sure my family isn't the only one you've wronged. I'd bet that you have many regrets in your life. I can only hope you remember every single one of them as you await death's ultimate claim on you…"


	18. Chapter 18

_Hi again_ _:)_ _Thanks so much for the incredible reviews for the last chapter. I would have felt guilty if I didn't update before the weekend lol. This is shorter than usual, but hopefully it's okay. Thanks, as always for all your support. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. :)_

xxxxx

For every minute that passed, Sam felt his hopes for G's rescue diminish a little bit more. He had always thought that he would somehow sense if his partner was to ever die while they were apart, that their connection would somehow be broken and he would somehow know, but he had no idea if that would truly be the case. His thoughts were increasingly darkening and he couldn't help but wonder if G had already been killed.

"Mr. Hanna?" Hetty stood in front of Sam but he didn't respond to her. "Sam?" she gently placed her hand on his shoulder and finally got his attention.

"Yeah, Hetty?" Some of his anger towards her had deflated. His eyes were weary and sad as he looked back at her.

"Mr. Beale and Miss Jones may have a lead for us. I thought you would like to hear what they have to say."

"Definitely." He stood up and followed Hetty through the hospital corridors until they reached the Security Office. Granger was waiting for them by a desktop computer in a corner of the room. As Sam approached, he could see Eric and Nell on the flat screen monitor. "Hey guys," he greeted them.

"Hi Sam," the two operational analysists replied as one.

"Is anyone else coming?" Eric asked.

Sam shook his head. "Kensi is with Deeks right now."

"How is he?" Nell asked, her eyes filled with concern.

"I think he'll be alright," Sam said, but he was impatient for whatever leads they had to offer. "What did you find out?"

"We were finally able to get a hit on facial recognition," Eric began. "Nell is going to send the photo to your cell phones."

Sam pulled out his phone and clicked on the picture as soon as his phone dinged. "Who is this guy?" he asked as he stared at the photo of this newest adversary. The man appeared smug and pompous. Sam hated him on sight.

"His name is Jonathan Page," Nell replied. "He's a very rich, very powerful businessman who has been highly successful in the stock market."

"You're kidding," said Sam. "What the hell would a guy like this want with G?"

Nell and Eric exchanged a look before turning back towards the monitor.

"What?" asked Sam. "Tell me."

"Sam, about two months ago, Jonathan's twin brother, Joseph, died."

"Okay…" Sam shook his head looking very confused. "I'm not getting this at all. You really need to spell it out."

Nell began. "Thirteen years ago, Joseph's wife, Caroline, ran away from him, taking their young daughter with her. She took a job as a teacher in a one-room schoolhouse in a small town in New Hampshire. Obviously she thought he'd never find her there."

"Unfortunately, she was wrong," Eric said, taking over. "He and two other men eventually found her and took her and the children in the school hostage. Her daughter, Alyssa, was not in school that day and Caroline would not divulge the girl's location. Callen and a team were called in to help local law enforcement who had no experience with that kind of a situation. Andy Billings flew them to the location. Joseph ended up killing Caroline, shooting her in the head. Callen and the team rushed the schoolhouse and Callen shot Joseph. The bullet severed his spinal cord, permanently paralyzing him from the waist down."

Sam sighed. "So…this whole thing has just been about revenge for that shooting?" He still didn't understand why Andy had really been a target, but sometimes you just didn't know about people and the way they processed their thoughts.

"Looks that way," Nell replied.

"So is that it?" Sam asked. "We know who and why, but nothing else?"

Eric shook his head. "Sorry, Sam. We saw them on traffic cam footage locally but lost them pretty quickly. We think they must have been headed to some remote location."

"So we've got nothing," Sam stated, his frustration evident as he slammed the top of the desk with his hand. "They brought G out into the middle of nowhere and we have no way of tracking him."

"Not necessarily Sam," Hetty said, placing her hand on his arm. "At least now law enforcement can be on the lookout for this man. Perhaps we will catch a break."

Sam shook his head. "He's going to know how to cover his tracks. He has tons of money to make himself disappear, Hetty. This isn't good news."

"It's not bad news either, Sam," Granger said, breaking into the conversation. "The more information we have, no matter how unimportant it might seem, the better off we are."

"You can't give up hope," Hetty said. "Mr. Callen is counting on us."

"I'm not giving up," Sam stated resolutely. "I would never, ever give up on him."

xxxxx

Jonathan and Robert walked a short distance away, speaking in hushed tones. Callen finally managed to catch Alyssa's eye. "I'm sorry about what happened to your mom…I lost my mother too when I was very young," he said softly.

"Don't talk to me." She stared down at the ground but then raised her eyes again to look back at him. "You ruined my father's life."

"I understand you believe the things you've been told," Callen said, speaking quickly as he glanced over at the two men who were still talking. "But they're not true. Your mother only wanted to protect you. She was afraid of your father. That's why she took you away." He was desperately trying to connect with her but knew he didn't have much time.

"He never hurt her," she snapped. "I would have known."

"He wouldn't have wanted you to know and neither would your mom. She wouldn't have wanted to scare you."

"You're lying."

"I get that you loved him, but you have to know this is wrong. I was only doing my job, trying to protect your mom and those children. Please…you have to get in touch with my partner…His name is Sam Hanna… His number is 310-555-6655."

She stared at him, nervously twirling some of her long, dark hair around her fingers, then shook her head. "I'm not going to help you."

"Alyssa…I know we don't know each other, but do you really think I deserve to die like this?"

"It's what my dad wanted, and what my uncle wants…He knows what's best." She sounded uncertain which gave Callen a speck of hope.

"Sam is a great guy…he can help you get out of this mess. Do you really want to be an accomplice in the murder of a federal agent? You'll either be running for the rest of your life or you'll be in prison. Do you want to ruin your whole life? Think about that. You…"

"What has Agent Callen been telling you, Alyssa?" Jonathan came over and placed a kiss on the top of his niece's head. "Whatever it is, don't believe him. He is evil personified. He would say anything to get out of this. He's an expert manipulator."

"I'm looking into the face of evil right now," Callen said, shifting uncomfortably. The rush of adrenaline that had been pushing him through the verbal sparring with Jonathan was dying out quickly. The slightest movements were causing him pain and he could feel himself weakening.

"Aww…you're not looking so good, I feel kind of bad for you," Jonathan said, his voice oozing false sympathy. He pulled out his cell phone and snapped a picture of Callen, then looked at it, smiling in satisfaction. "Not bad…the light of the lanterns makes for a nice photographic effect. At some point I'll send this picture to your partner, give him something to remember you by. I really wish I had thought to take photos as we went along. It would have made a lovely picture book to give Agent Hanna for Christmas."

"You're really fucking crazy…" Callen retorted, appalled at the thought of Sam getting the photo, knowing how his partner would blame himself. He glanced over at Alyssa once again. "Are these really the actions of a sane man? Do you really think this is okay?"

"Why don't we get out of here, Uncle Jonathan?" Alyssa tossed her hair defiantly then wrapped her arms across her chest. "This place gives me the creeps. HE gives me the creeps too."

"An excellent idea, Alyssa. Robert? I believe the men have had sufficient time to set everything up, don't you?"

Robert nodded silently and Callen exploded, his words directed at Jonathan's brother. "Do you even have a mind of your own? Do you just go along with whatever he wants? You're going to be charged with murder too. I hope you enjoy being someone's bitch in prison."

Robert looked at Callen nervously then turned and started walking back in the direction they had first come from.

"So…you're not even going to leave me some kind of light, not even a candle?" Callen asked. He was trying to appear calm, but truth be told, he was inwardly starting to freak out at the thought of being left alone in this place.

"I would like to, Agent Callen…truly I would, but the darkness here mirrors the blackness of your soul. I cannot go against your fate. Come, Alyssa." Jonathan put one arm around his niece and picked up the lantern from the ground with the other.

They headed off in Robert's direction and Callen found himself losing it. "You're going to rot in hell for this," he yelled, his whole body trembling. "My partner will make you pay!" He struggled frantically with the rope around his hands, unsuccessfully trying to loosen it, as he watched the figures get smaller and smaller. Finally they disappeared from his sight entirely and he was left in total darkness once again.

"Damn." His heart began pounding uncontrollably and he found he was having a hard time breathing. He lowered his face into his hands and tried to calm himself. He couldn't remember ever having anxiety like this before. He could hear Sam's voice in his head telling him to take slow, deep breaths and that's what he tried to do. Gradually he was able to settle himself down somewhat and stabilize his breathing. "I really got myself into a mess this time, Sam," he said, his voice quivering. "I don't think there's any way out of this..." He wasn't sure how long he had sat there when he heard Jonathan's voice shout from a distance.

"Goodbye, Agent Callen! Enjoy the rest of your short and miserable life!"

Callen braced himself for whatever was coming next and moments later the explosion occurred. He lowered his head and put his hands over it trying to protect himself from falling rocks and rubble. Luckily, the effects of the explosion didn't reach him though and he wasn't harmed any further. However, he knew he was now sealed up inside Jonathan's so-called tomb.

He was sick, afraid and very much alone…


	19. Chapter 19

_Sending out a ton of appreciation to all of you who have taken the time to review this story. I can't tell you how much it means to me. This chapter was difficult to write as there's a ton of angst. Anyhow…in spite of that, hope you still like it._

xxxxx

After the explosion, Callen undertook the task of trying to untie the rope from his hands with his teeth. It was tedious and time consuming, but he finally managed to free himself. After resting for a short period of time, he then set to work on untying his feet. It was very slow going. His fingers were still cold and stiff and having to shift his position to reach for the rope caused additional pain in his abdomen and side. However, finally he succeeded. He leaned his head back against the wall of the cave and slowly moved his legs which were very stiff. He had no clue what he should do. He was completely disoriented and if he started to walk, he had no idea which way led out and which way would lead him further into the mine. "I don't know what to do," he said aloud, mainly just to comfort himself by breaking the complete silence. He gingerly was able to get to his feet. Keeping his hands on the wall, he walked a few steps to his right. His legs were weak and wobbly though and the small rocks and pebbles on the cave floor cut into his bare feet. He was unable to stay upright for very long and dropped back down to the ground. He was trying not to focus on how cold he was and how much pain he was in, but it was pretty much impossible. He carefully lifted up his hospital gown and placed his hands over the bandage covering his abdomen. He had a feeling that Jonathan's kicks and punches might have opened up his wound but he couldn't really tell if he was bleeding. "Please call Sam and tell him where I am, Alyssa," he begged, his voice breaking as he spoke. "I don't want to die alone in here."

xxxxx

Sam knocked on the door to Kensi's room and waited until he heard her voice telling him to come in. "Hey," Sam said as he entered the room. Deeks was lying in bed while Kensi sat in the reclining chair beside him. Sam gave Deeks a concerned look. "How are you doing, Deeks?"

"Hey Sam…I'm good," Deeks answered, but he didn't look particularly good to Sam. He was pale and his eyes looked dull and lifeless.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked, his gaze moving from Deeks to Kensi.

Deeks shook his head and Kensi remained silent.

"So, I guess they're keeping you?" Sam asked, his eyes back on Deeks. "What did the doctor say?"

Deeks didn't answer Sam's question. At last, Kensi broke the uncomfortable silence in the room. "The CT scan was negative. They're just keeping him overnight for observation. Granger arranged for him to be in here with me, even though it's Orthopedics. We're both being released tomorrow."

"That's good news," Sam said.

"Is there any word on Callen?" Deeks finally spoke, his blue eyes filled with emotion as he looked back at the other man.

"We know who abducted him from facial recognition. His name is Jonathan Page." Sam replied. "Long story short, thirteen years ago, this guy's brother killed his wife and held a schoolhouse full of children hostage. G shot him and he ended up paralyzed from the waist down. He died two months ago and now his brother wants revenge."

"That doesn't sound good," Kensi said grimly then cast a guilty look in Deek's direction and was silent.

"What's going on?" Sam asked. There was definitely a weird vibe in the room between the two younger team members.

"Nothing," Deeks replied quickly.

"Deeks thinks it's his fault that Callen was taken," Kensi said, her words earning a glare from Deeks which she ignored.

Sam sighed heavily as he looked over at Deeks. "There's nothing you could have done, Deeks." His expression was earnest as he met Deeks' eyes. "You didn't have a chance against them. You're lucky they didn't kill you."

"I tried to tell him that," Kensi said, looking from Sam to Deeks then back to Sam, "but no one ever listens to me anyway."

"We listen to you, Kensi," Sam said, knowing she was talking about him as well as Deeks. "It's just not easy to know G's out there somewhere alone and defenseless. I know he needs my help and he's probably waiting for me to rescue him, but I have no idea where he is or how to help him."

"We have to believe we'll catch a break and find him," Kensi said.

"I don't know, Kensi," Sam tiredly ran his hand over his face. "The longer this goes on…"

He didn't have to finish his sentence. He knew both Kensi and Deeks realized what he was getting at. The longer Callen was gone, the less the chances were that they would find him alive.

"You're exhausted, Sam," Kensi observed. It was very late and the man obviously needed to get some sleep. "You want me to see if someone can bring a cot in here? You could take the bed." She knew Sam wouldn't be comfortable on a cot, but it wouldn't bother her in the least to sleep on one.

Sam shook his head with a faint smile. "I think you guys are good without me being in here. The hotel I'm staying at is really nice. I'll just head over there and be back tomorrow. Call me if you hear anything or if you're discharged before I get here."

"Of course," said Kensi. "You do the same…let us know if there are any leads at all, no matter how small."

"I will. You two take care of yourselves." He turned to Deeks one more time. "No more blaming yourself, Deeks. It wasn't your fault."

Deeks nodded. "Thanks, Sam…"

"See you guys tomorrow." With that, Sam gave them a final wave and headed out.

xxxxx

Hetty was sitting alone at the hotel bar, nursing a cocktail, when Granger sidled up beside her. "Join me for a drink, Owen?" she asked.

"What's that you're having?" he asked, glancing at the yellowish concoction she was sipping.

"It's a Sherlock & Watson," Hetty replied. "It's made with Earl Grey tea syrup and scotch. I thought it was a fitting drink for this occasion. Perhaps if Sherlock Holmes and Watson were working on this case, we'd have found Mr. Callen by now."

"I don't think they'd be having any better luck than we are, Henrietta," Granger stated before ordering a beer from the bartender.

"Oh I don't know about that, Owen. We let him be snatched from the hospital right underneath our noses. It doesn't say much for us."

"We badly underestimated the danger he was in," Granger said. "But, I don't know how we could have foreseen the lengths this Page guy would go to in order to get to Callen."

"Perhaps not, but we should have had him better protected than we did."

"Blaming ourselves isn't going to get him back," Granger commented.

"And what exactly will get him back?" Hetty asked, turning to glare at him. "We've got nothing…absolutely no lead to help us find him."

"That's not what you said to Sam earlier today," Granger said.

"And what would you have had me tell him?" Hetty snapped. "That he was right, that there is no way of finding out where his partner is and he is very likely dead?" Hetty put her hand to her mouth, horrified by her own words and she furiously blinked back sudden tears.

"Henrietta…" Owen was at a loss as to what to say and watched as Hetty abandoned her drink, got down from her barstool and grabbed her handbag from the bar.

"I'm fine, Owen," she stated, "just very tired. It has been a trying day. I will see you in the morning. Perhaps then, things will look better and we can come up with some kind of a plan to bring Mr. Callen back to us." With that, she headed off as Granger watched her, his own thoughts just as pessimistic as hers.

xxxxx

Callen was trying very hard not to give in to despair. Too much movement only caused him pain so he remained as still as he could and tried to think of other, happier times…

 _"Good morning, G," Sam greeted his partner who was reading through some case file notes on his laptop._

 _"Good morning, Sam, how's it going?"_

 _"Good… Michelle wanted me to invite you to dinner tonight."_

 _"What? Why?" Callen asked, pulling his eyes from his laptop to look at his partner._

 _"What do you mean, why?" Sam asked. "We need a reason to invite you to dinner?"_

 _"No…it's just…"_

 _"It's just what? Do you already have plans?" Sam asked._

 _Callen shook his head. "No, I don't have any plans."_

 _"Good, it's settled then. You haven't been over for a while. The kids miss their Uncle Callen." Sam had smiled in satisfaction and they hadn't discussed it any further._

 _That night, the house had been in darkness when Sam opened the front door. "Are Michelle and the kids out?" Callen asked._

 _Sam turned on the light switch and grinned at his partner as everyone yelled "Surprise!"_

 _Callen had been totally flabbergasted by the birthday party thrown in his honor. "Happy Birthday, Uncle Callen," Aiden had greeted him with a hug and Kamran had toddled over to him to cling to his leg. The whole team had been there, Hetty, Kensi, Deeks, Nate, Eric and Nell. No one had ever really celebrated his birthday before, certainly not given him a party. There had been Chinese food, beer, presents and a cake. He had been a little bit embarrassed by all the fuss, but mostly grateful over the kind gesture. It had been a really great night and he had been very touched over what Sam and Michelle had done for him. It had shown him how much he meant, not only to Sam, but to the whole Hanna family…_

"Hospital gowns definitely aren't meant for caves," Callen said, his mind very much back in the present as he found himself shivering from the cold. "Not unless they're covered with a warm coat." He was freezing. He would have given anything for a blanket or to be wrapped up in a heavy quilt. He tried to focus his mind on something else and started to practice some of his languages. He was tired though and found himself unable to really focus. Finally, he was able to fall asleep and at least temporarily escape the horror that had become his life.

xxxxx

Alyssa was having a very hard time sleeping. She found herself tossing and turning constantly throughout the night, her mind consumed with what had happened the previous day. When Agent Callen had asked her to call his partner, she had considered it briefly, but had quickly discarded the notion. There was no way she was going to go against her deceased father's wishes.

Her father had loved her…hadn't he? He would never have hurt her mother. He had said the police had lied about his role in her mother's death. He had drilled that into her since she had been a little girl. She knew there was a lot of corruption in the world and people were falsely accused of crimes all the time. That was what had happened to her father…he'd been set up and wrongly accused, then imprisoned…hadn't he?

She turned on her phone and saw the time 3:35 a.m. She thought about the agent trapped alone in the mine. She couldn't help but wonder about how he was doing. It scared her just thinking about it. She hated the dark. She couldn't imagine being trapped in there, all alone, with no hope of escape…she couldn't feel sorry for him though. He deserved it…didn't he? But what if he didn't?

She looked at her list of contacts and saw the name he had given her…Sam Hanna… along with his phone number. After Agent Callen had told her the name and number she had tried to put it out of her mind. It hadn't worked though. She had always had an exceptionally good memory for everything from phone numbers and addresses to sports statistics and movie and television trivia. She had tried to erase the number from her mind, but it almost seemed like the more she had tried to forget it, the more she had obsessively thought about it, engraining it even more fully. Finally she had added it to the contacts in her phone, just in case. She wouldn't use it though. She wasn't going to call him…

Not that it mattered right now anyway. They were staying overnight in a cabin that Uncle Jonathan had rented for them before he had taken Agent Callen from the hospital. It was in a pretty remote location and her cell phone wasn't getting any signal. She couldn't call anyone even if she wanted to, but she didn't want to call anyone… She kept trying to reinforce that in her mind as she tried to forget about Agent Callen and the haunted look she had seen in his eyes right before they left him. Finally, she managed to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

xxxxx

He kept his eyes closed because somehow he wasn't quite as afraid with them closed. At least it was supposed to be dark when your eyes were closed. Every time he opened his eyes and saw nothing, his heartbeat would speed up and he would get a panicky feeling all over again. Jonathan Page had sure done a good job with his plot for revenge. He couldn't remember ever feeling this helpless and terrified. He had been in many seemingly hopeless situations before…such as when he'd gone undercover as Anwar Amurov and had been wearing a suicide bomber vest, tied to the rigged platform and when Dallas Alder had been about to burn him alive…However, both incidents had been relatively short as far as time went, and both times Sam had rescued him, as well as on numerous other occasions. He just didn't think that was going to happen now.

He knew time was passing, but he didn't know how slowly or quickly it was happening. He had no idea if it was day or night or how long he had even been there. Suddenly, he felt something crawling on his hand and it freaked him out. "Get off me!" he yelled, flinging whatever insect it was off his hand and then edging a few feet away, using his legs to push his body. He'd never been afraid of bugs, had never really thought of them one way or another, but now, knowing unseen creatures could crawl all over him and he couldn't see them to identify how big they were or what they were, was indescribably frightening… beetles, spiders, maggots and probably bugs he'd never even seen before. Not to mention there could be snakes, lizards, bats, mice and rats. Who the hell knew what was in this place? He was freaking out more now just thinking about it. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, ignoring the pain the gesture caused. "Damn it, Sam, why can't you find me?!" he called out as he buried his face against his knees, no longer able to hold back tears.

xxxxx

Kensi sat on the edge of Deeks' bed, silent and still, as she watched him sleep. Not wanting to wake him, she resisted the urge she had to stroke his face. She needn't have worried though as only a few minutes later, he began to stir on his own.

"Good morning, sleepy head," she said with a soft smile, caressing his rough cheek with her hand. "You could use a shave."

"G'morning," he gave her a faint smile in response, his eyes still heavy with sleep. "What time is it?"

"It's a little after seven," she replied. "The nurse will be in here any time now to check on us. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good…How are you?"

"I'm definitely ready to leave this place." She gently brushed his hair away from his forehead. "Do you still have a headache?"

"Nothing I can't handle," he answered vaguely.

"Deeks…"

"The doctor said I could have headaches for a while, Kensi. Unless they get really bad, it's just a normal thing with a concussion."

She nodded. "I understand that. I just don't like seeing you hurt."

"I know, but…"

He was interrupted by the nurse who came in, pushing her cart of assorted medical paraphernalia. "Good morning," she said, smiling at the couple. "How are you today?"

"We're good." Kensi grabbed her crutches and used them to ambulate back to her own bed as the nurse began to examine Deeks, starting with his blood pressure. She couldn't help but notice how serious he was. He didn't smile or make one joke or flirty remark. After the nurse had finished with both of them and left the room, Kensi regarded him thoughtfully, but stayed put in her own bed. He looked like he was off in his own little world. She didn't disturb him and he didn't react at all until a dietary aide brought them their breakfast. He quietly thanked the girl, then buttered and began to nibble on a piece of toast.

"Are you okay?" Kensi asked as she opened up her mini carton of orange juice and put a straw into the opening.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said.

"You don't seem fine. In fact, I'd say you seem anything but fine."

He shrugged, concentrating on the scrambled eggs on his plate. They weren't very good though and he mainly moved them around with his fork.

"I never thought a plate of cold, uneaten eggs would be more interesting to you than I am," Kensi stated after she had finished eating. "Should I be insulted?"

"I'm sorry…I just…" He didn't finish the sentence, just stared down at his breakfast tray.

Kensi got out from under the covers and got out of bed, crutching her way back over to Deeks. She retook her spot on the edge of his bed and reached for his hand. "Deeks…please talk to me," she pleaded.

He sighed and finally looked back at her. "I had a dream about Callen last night…we found him…"

"I'm guessing this wasn't a very good dream," Kensi said.

"No," Deeks shook his head. "He was dead. His hands were tied behind his back and he'd been shot in the head execution style…"

"Oh Deeks, I'm sorry." Kensi squeezed his hand supportively.

"Sam was just holding his body in his arms, crying…he didn't say anything, but I just knew he was blaming me…"

"You really need to stop this," Kensi said gently. "I hope and pray that we're going to find Callen alive…but if we don't…There was nothing you could have done. There wasn't enough protection for him. There needed to be a whole team there for him to be protected and no one thought to do that."

"I just want him to be okay, Kensi," Deeks said emotionally. "I really just want him to be okay…"

"I know you do," she said, bending down to press a soft kiss onto his lips. "We all do."

xxxxx

Callen woke up feeling hot and sweaty. The pain in his abdomen seemed to be steadily worsening every time he awoke. He put his hands over the bandages and moaned softly as he opened his eyes expecting to see darkness. Instead, he was happily surprised to see his partner standing just a short distance away from him. "Sam! Sam I can't believe you found me," he said breathlessly. "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to find me here." He waited for his partner to come to him, but he didn't. He just stood there, perfectly still. "Come here, Sam. Quit kidding around. Why aren't you helping me?"

Frustrated, Callen turned his head and saw Kensi and Deeks. "I'm so glad to see you guys," he said. "I need help." Like Sam, Kensi and Deeks didn't move either. He gave them a confused look. "Why aren't you talking to me? Help me, please. We've got to get out of this place. I can't stand it here. Please…I want to leave now…" However, he found the junior team members either unable or unwilling to help him.

Lastly, his gaze shifted and he saw Hetty and Granger. "I don't feel right, Hetty…it hurts…it hurts really bad. Please help me…" Confusion turned to anger when, like the others, Hetty and Granger remained still and neither of them came to his assistance. "I don't…I don't understand…" He watched as they slowly began to fade. "What are you doing?! Where are you going? Please come back," he pleaded. "Don't leave me here alone!" Tears came to the surface as he found that his team had abandoned him and he was, once again, a solitary prisoner of the blackness.

"Why did you leave me? Why? What did I do wrong? I can't take this anymore," he whimpered in obvious distress as he shifted about, unable to get comfortable on the cold, hard ground. "How could you leave me here, Sam? I never would have left you…never…" Finally, exhausted and feverish, he lost his grip on consciousness, and surrendered himself into a whole different kind of darkness.

xxxxx

Alyssa sat stretched out in the back of the white Toyota Camry surfing the Internet on her phone. Uncle Jonathan had said they needed to change vehicles and the sleazy used car salesman's eyes had practically popped out of his head when her uncle had paid him in cash. She couldn't help but listen to her uncles' conversation in the front seat.

"I wonder if he's dead yet?" Jonathan asked, chuckling.

"I don't think so… Not yet," Robert stated. "It hasn't been that long and he has plenty of air."

"Even so, he was in the ICU and I beat him up pretty good. It's cold in there and he has no food, no water. I can't imagine he's doing very well."

"Maybe he had a nervous breakdown," Robert mused.

"We can only hope," Jonathan said and both men broke into laughter.

Alyssa felt a shiver run through her spine as she listened to what they were saying. It was one thing to have wanted to punish the man for what he had done to her father, but her uncle was being deliberately cruel. The more she mulled things over in her mind, the more doubts she was having about what they had done to Agent Callen. She was beginning to believe that what he said could have some merit and that what they had done to him was very, very wrong. "Uncle Jonathan, can you stop at the next rest stop?" she asked. "I need to use the little girl's room."

"Of course, Alyssa."

About 15 minutes later, Jonathan parked the car at a rest stop and Alyssa got out and headed to the ladies room. Locking herself inside a stall, she pulled out her cell phone and with a shaking hand pressed the green dial button next to Sam Hanna's name.


	20. Chapter 20

_Thanks so much for your nice reviews and the notes of encouragement. You all definitely helped me get through the latest trouble spot I had with this story. Hopefully, I'm back on track now. Just thought I'd try to give you a little something since I haven't updated in a while. Thanks so much for your support. I really appreciate it. (Also, this is still a bit of a cliffhanger - just a warning in case you don't like that kind of thing)_

xxxxx

Freshly showered and shaved, Sam put on a fresh pair of jeans then pulled a clean Henley over his head. He sighed as he walked out into the living room of his hotel suite. He gazed out the window overlooking the city and saw that the sky was overcast. That was good. It matched his mood perfectly. "I wish I knew where you were, G," he said dejectedly. "I hope you're hanging in there." Countless scenarios of what could have befallen his partner kept running through his head. He hoped and prayed that whatever was happening to Callen didn't live up to the horrors being conjured up in his imagination. It was still a bit early to head to the hospital so he sat on the sofa and picked up the room service menu from the coffee table and debated on having some breakfast. Just then, his cell phone rang.

"Hello?" he spoke into the phone after checking the caller ID and seeing a number which he didn't recognize. There was only silence on the other end of the phone. "Hello?" he spoke again.

"He…hello…is this Sam?"

Sam immediately went on alert when he heard the voice of the nervous-sounding female. "Yes, this is Sam," he said, making sure to keep the tone of his voice calm and non-threatening. "Can I ask who I'm speaking with?"

"My name…my name doesn't matter."

"Okay…" Sam said agreeably. "Can I ask what you're calling about then?"

"I…" There was a click and the line went dead.

"Dammit!" Sam shook his head in frustration and hit redial, praying that this unknown woman would answer.

xxxxx

Alyssa stared at the phone as it rang and unknown caller came up on the display. She knew it was Sam Hanna though. Why had she called him? How could she have been so stupid? Finally she hit the answer button and held the phone up to her ear, but didn't speak. She just waited to hear the voice at the other end of the line.

"Hello? This is Sam… Please listen to me. Whatever kind of trouble you're in, I can try to help you."

"Why would you help me?" Alyssa asked in a whisper. "You don't even know me."

"That's true," Sam replied. "But, you must have called me for a reason, didn't you? Please tell me what the problem is."

"It's not my problem," she answered vaguely. "Someone else is in trouble…"

There was a hesitation at the other end of the line before Sam spoke again. "Who? Who's in trouble?" he asked.

"It's your partner…he's in trouble."

She heard him sigh deeply. "Can you tell me where he is?" he asked her. "Please tell me where he is."

"He's in an old mine." She couldn't believe she was doing this. She was totally betraying her uncle. God only knew what he would do to her if he found out.

"Where…where is it?" Sam demanded loudly, before he lowered his voice again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. Please…please tell me where this mine is."

"I don't know where it is," she answered. "I can give you the name of it. It's the Whitebark Mine."

"How…how is he?" Sam asked. "Is he hurt?"

"I have to go," Alyssa said, knowing this was taking too long. She needed to get back out to the car. She spoke quickly. "I don't know how he is, except that he's been beaten and they sealed him up inside the mine so you need to hurry. I have to go."

"Wait, please." Sam begged but Alyssa disconnected the call and powered her phone down. She then quickly exited the restroom and threw the phone into a nearby trash can. She had done what she could to save the agent's life, but that was as far as she would go. She wasn't about to further betray her uncle by leading the authorities to him. He was her family after all.

xxxxx

Sam stared at the phone for a long moment before he snapped out of his daze and hit the speed dial button next to Eric's name. "Hey Eric. I need you to try to trace the phone number of the person I was just talking to," he said. "Also, can you get me the location of the Whitebark Mine and send it to my phone?"

"I'll get right on it, Sam," Eric replied. "Any word on Callen?"

"Yeah, this mine may be the lead we're looking for," Sam stated. "At least I hope so. I need to call Hetty. Call me back if you get anywhere."

He disconnected the phone from Eric and was about to call Hetty when he decided it would make more sense just to go to her room. He grabbed his hotel keycard and shoved it into his pocket along with his cell phone then quickly left his own room to head to Hetty's.

xxxxx

Hetty sat at the small table in her hotel room, slowly sipping a cup of tea. She had not slept well. In fact, she had barely slept at all. She was consumed by thoughts about what could have happened to Callen and none of her thoughts were very good ones. She was desperately trying to find a way of tracking her agent but nothing had come to mind. She couldn't bear the thought of her boy sick and at the mercy of some psychopath without the team to back him up. She blamed herself for whatever predicament he was in and knew she would never be able to forgive herself if they were unable to get him back safely. A loud knocking on the door to her room interrupted her thoughts and she swiftly walked to the door. "Who is it?" she called out hesitantly.

"Hetty, it's Sam. Let me in."

Hetty quickly unlocked the door and opened it.

"I think I may have a location on G," Sam said as he rushed into her room.

"How, Sam?" Hetty asked, afraid to even hope this could be true.

"I got a phone call. It was a woman. Anyhow, she sounded really nervous, but she said that G is in a mine, the Whitebark Mine. Eric is working on tracing the call and he's going to send me the location of the mine."

"And you think the call was legitimate?" Hetty questioned. "You don't think she was just toying with you?"

Sam shrugged and shook his head. "I have no idea, Hetty," he admitted. "But it's the only lead we have so what do we have to lose? Besides, G must have told her to call or how would she have gotten my number?"

Hetty nodded. "I'll call Owen and let him know what's transpired. You contact Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye and let them know what's going on. They will want to be a part of this."

Sam pulled out his phone to call his junior team members. Neither of them were in any kind of shape to be out at a mine, but he knew they would want to be there. "Oh and Hetty?" Sam said, his expression grim as he recalled a detail he hadn't relayed to her. "She said the mine is sealed up…"

Hetty nodded, already knowing it would be difficult for Sam to deal with if it was true. "If he's in there, Sam, we will get him out."

"Yeah…" Sam said halfheartedly wondering what kind of shape his partner would be in when they did get him out.

xxxxx

 _When his eyes opened, he found himself back in the ICU. Sam and Hetty were on one side of his bed. Deeks and Kensi stood on the opposite side with Granger at the foot of the bed. "I can't believe you guys found me," Callen said, a relieved smile on his face. "I never thought you would."_

 _Sam shook his head, smiling, as he reached down and fondly ruffled Callen's hair. "Sorry, G…we didn't find you."_

 _"Oh." Callen shrugged. "Who found me then?" It really didn't matter as long as he was out of that hellhole._

 _"Nobody," said Deeks. "You didn't leave us any clues."_

 _"You really should have," Kensi said as she broke into a fit of giggles. Deeks nudged her with his elbow and gave her a disapproving look. After a final loud snort, Kensi managed to compose herself and stopped laughing._

 _"I thought I trained you better than that, Mr. Callen." Hetty shook her head, obviously disappointed in him._

 _Callen started to get upset. "I couldn't. I wasn't even conscious until they had me in the cave. How could I have left you a clue? It wasn't possible."_

 _"Come on, G," Sam said. "You could have figured out something. You needed to give us something to go on."_

 _"Needle in a haystack, man," said Deeks. "It just wasn't possible for us to find you."_

 _"I'm right here with you, Deeks," Callen snapped. "It doesn't matter as long as we're together now."_

 _"We're not together, Agent Callen," said Granger._

 _"This is just what you wish would happen," said Kensi._

 _"We're just a figment of your imagination," explained Deeks. "Characters in your dreams."_

 _Callen shook his head in disbelief as tears filled his eyes. "No. That's not true. It can't be."_

 _"Sorry, buddy," Sam said sympathetically as he squeezed his partner's hand. "Better luck next time."_

 _"Goodbye, Mr. Callen," Hetty said sadly as the room began to darken. "This isn't how I envisioned things would go for you. Unfortunately though, I don't have the power to change it."_

 _"No! Stay here with me, please! I'm sorry. I'll think of better clues. Please don't go! Please…"_

 _xxxxx_

He awoke, shivering violently, with his body covered in an ice cold sweat. He was still in this damned cave, he realized in dismay. His heart was beating quickly and his breathing was very heavy. He tried to forget about the dream and calm down, but it didn't seem to help his symptoms. "I may not be a mathemagician like you are Sam," he said breathlessly, "but I wouldn't have thought I'd be running out of air." He tried to sit up, but found he had a hard time doing so. He felt nauseous and dizzy and could barely keep himself from toppling over. Finally he managed to get into a sitting position and edged himself up against the wall to support himself. He tried to pull the hospital gown more tightly around his body, but it was much too flimsy to help him feel any warmer. "I think…I think I'm in a lot of trouble here, Sam," he said, his breath coming in faint gasps.

He leaned his head back against the wall and got caught up in his thoughts which were random and all over the place. "Mom? I hope you're up there, somewhere, waiting for me…" He really hoped she was. He prayed that she and Amy would be there, that there was some kind of afterlife. Maybe at least he would have his mother and sister at the end of all this. Maybe his death would reunite them. He was extremely afraid and didn't want to be alone anymore. He knew everyone always thought of him as being a lone wolf, but he missed his team…his family. Tears came to his eyes at the thought that he would never see any of them again. He'd never imagined he would come to such an end, dying alone in some stupid cave at the hands of a lunatic who he couldn't overcome because he was just too sick and weak. He hated that Page had basically had his way with him, that he hadn't been able to defend himself at all. It was not the end he would have wished for himself.

He froze when he felt something crawling on his foot and slowly creeping up his leg. Whatever it was, it was large and had lots and lots of little legs. He felt like he was going to hyperventilate as his breathing went even more out of control. His hand shaking, he reached for the unknown creature and grabbed it, feeling the cold sliminess on his hand as he threw it as far as he could. The gooey substance stuck to his fingers and he tried to wipe it off on the hospital gown. His whole body was trembling as he pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head against them once again, trying to get himself back under control. "I hate this fucking place…I can't stand it here," he said as he broke into sobs and rocked his body back and forth, trying to console himself. "Please somebody find me…I just want to go home…" Eventually, the crying exhausted him and he slumped back down to the ground, having lost consciousness once again.

xxxxx

 _Note: If you want some idea of the creepy insects that are living in Callen's Cave, do a google search for cave insects under images. So creepy (then again I have a huge phobia when it comes to bugs)._


	21. Chapter 21

_Note to Caroline, you made a good point about Sam's identification on the phone so I changed it. Thanks for bringing it up_ _J_

 _Thanks to JaniceS, cjanff, Dramamama5, SnoopGirl69, Caro0909, sassyzazzi, Ash9, ss171, anonkp, Knirbenrots, Liasonfan75, and 50fanofmcgarrett for your reviews :)_

 _Also, special thanks to Skippy, Country Girl, Cheryl, French Fan and_ Beststoriesever _who I couldn't thank in person– thanks for your really nice words, definitely helped me feel a little better about the chapter and is much appreciated :)_

xxxxx

The inside of the Jeep Liberty was shrouded in silence as Sam drove it along another dirt road. He glanced at Kensi who hissed in pain as he bounced over yet another large pothole. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay, Sam" she said, giving him a faint smile which he did not return.

Deeks coughed nervously from where he was sitting in the back of the vehicle. The tension in the air was palpable. The only sound in the car was the digitalized voice of the GPS which popped on periodically giving directions. Hetty and Granger were making the trip in another car. Granger had decided to trade in the rental for something better suited for off road driving.

Kensi's eyes kept straying in Sam's direction and she couldn't help but notice the white knuckled grasp he had on the steering wheel, along with the fact that he was going much faster than he should have been. She didn't say anything though. She knew that he was anxious about Callen and she was as well. The stress they were all feeling was practically unbearable. Finally, the GPS announced "You have arrived at your destination."

The three passengers got out of the SUV and looked ahead in dismay. "Damn…" Sam said, immediately feeling a nervous knot in the pit of his stomach as he stared at the entrance of the mine. "Deeks, call Hetty." He began walking purposefully towards the wall of rock and dirt, leaving little doubt that he desired to be left alone.

"Kensi, you should sit inside the SUV," Deeks instructed softly. "We're going to be in for a long wait." He took out his cell phone and hit the dial button next to Hetty's name. She answered almost immediately.

"Yes, Mr. Deeks."

"It's true that there's a sealed up mine here, Hetty," Deeks said. "It looks pretty bad. You can tell whoever you've been speaking with to send a crew out."

"Thank you. We will get on that right away," Hetty said before clicking off the phone.

Deeks walked over to where Kensi was sitting in the front of the SUV. She was sitting sideways with the door open. "She's going to call…" Deeks said as he shoved his cell phone back into his pocket. Hetty had been unable to get a crew to assist in the rescue effort until it had been verified that the mine was indeed sealed up. They had not wanted to waste their resources on what might have been a wild goose chase. "Do you think Sam's okay? Should I go over to him?"

Kensi looked over at where Sam was standing in front of the caved in entrance to the mine and shook her head. "He's not okay," she said softly, "but I think its best that we leave him alone right now."

xxxxx

Sam slowly made his way over to the mine and stood in front of it as he just stared at what used to be the entrance. "Damn it G…I'm so sorry I didn't prevent this from this happening to you…" Just thinking about how dark and cold it would be in there made him inwardly shudder. It was a fate he would wish on only a few select mastermind criminals they had dealt with in the past, the lowest of the low, certainly not anyone he cared about and definitely not his partner. He pulled a small rock out from the pile and tossed it aside. He wondered how far this wall of rock extended to the inside of the mine. He knew that air wouldn't be an issue, but he had no idea how sick Callen would be by now and he knew from personal experience the torment one could go through when left trapped in the darkness. Although it wasn't the same thing as when he had been buried alive with his friend, the situations definitely had their similarities. He sighed heavily and turned around when he heard the sound of another vehicle approaching. Hetty and Granger exited the vehicle and he watched as Granger went over to Deeks and Kensi while Hetty headed in his direction.

"Sam, how are you doing?" Hetty gently grasped his arm and looked up at her agent's face.

"I'm fine, Hetty. G's the one you need to be worried about."

"You may be able to fool some people, but not me," Hetty said. She gazed at the entrance to the mine and couldn't help but be shaken by what she saw. She hated the thought of her boy being alone in there. Hadn't he gone through enough already?

"I can't help but wonder how far inside the mine he was when they set off the explosives," Sam said quietly. "If he was anywhere near the entrance…" he trailed off and shook his head, unable to keep the morbid thoughts in his mind at bay, knowing there was a very distinct possibility that his partner was already dead. If he was, he hoped it had been quick. He couldn't bear the thought of G dying slowly in there, all alone, hoping for a rescue that had never come.

"Sam, please don't do this to yourself," Hetty said, her eyes filled with emotion. "We must try to think positively. We have to have faith that he will get through this."

Sam nodded. He was trying very hard to do as she asked, but it wasn't easy. He kept flashing back to when he himself was buried alive and he hated the thought of G going through a similar experience. "Do you know how quickly the rescue team will get here?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Hetty admitted. "We contacted the local authorities and they in turn have contacted the local chapter of the National Cave Rescue Commission. We're hoping it won't take too long for them to organize a team and get here."

Sam ran his hand over his face and shook his head. "That doesn't sound like it's going to be done quickly, Hetty. Can't Granger get anyone here faster than that? We've got to get G out of there."

Hetty spoke slowly and soothingly, trying to calm both Sam and herself. "We need to be patient. These people are the best. This needs to be done safely, not only for Mr. Callen's sake, but for the safety of the rescue personnel as well. We don't want anyone to get hurt."

Sam nodded, knowing that she was right, but it didn't help with the anxiety he was feeling. "What?" He gave Hetty a blank look as he gazed at her. She had spoken to him again, but he had absolutely no idea what she had said.

"I asked if you have tried calling out to him."

Sam shook his head. "No…I guess I just assumed he wouldn't be able to hear me…" He felt stupid as he spoke the words, unable to believe he hadn't even thought to try. Man, he was really losing it over this.

Hetty looked at him expectantly and he moved closer to the entrance, leaning in so his face was right at the debris. "G! G! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" he yelled then put his ear adjacent to the caved in rocks. "G! IT'S SAM! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" He listened with bated breath, hoping with everything he had in him to hear the sound of Callen's voice, but he heard nothing. He moved back away from the rocks and shook his head at Hetty who patted his arm supportively.

"Don't lose heart, Mr. Hanna. I have a very strong feeling he is going to come out of this okay. But for now, come…let's go join your fellow team members."

xxxxx

Granger had watched as Hetty went over to speak with Sam and then he had headed over to Deeks and Kensi. "How are you two doing?" he asked gruffly. His gaze was mainly directed at Deeks who he hadn't seen since right before Callen had been abducted.

"We're fine," Kensi replied. Deeks nodded and echoed her response.

"I owe you an apology," Granger said, giving the young man a serious look. "We never should have left you on your own the way we did."

Deeks shook his head. "It's fine."

"No…no Deeks it wasn't fine. It was everything but fine," Granger contradicted. "The whole situation escalated out of control and it could have ended even worse than it did. I'm sorry we didn't give you adequate backup. I'm just glad that you're alright."

Deeks nodded, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "Callen's the one you need to be worried about, not me."

"I worry about all of my people," Granger replied. He glanced over at Kensi and mentally noted how her legs were hanging off the edge of the seat. "I don't think you should have your leg hanging like that, Agent Blye. Your ankle is going to swell up."

"I think he's right, Kens," Deeks agreed softly. "You should probably either sit in the back so you can stretch out or just sit on the ground. It's going to be a long day here."

Kensi nodded. "I'll sit on the ground then," she said. She didn't want to sit in the back of the SUV. She wanted to be outside so she could see everything that was going on. Deeks helped her so situate herself on the ground and then sat down beside her to keep her company. The trio was pretty much silent until Hetty and Sam joined them.

"How are you feeling, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked, looking at him with obvious concern on her face.

"I'm good, Hetty," Deeks said, smiling up at her as he brushed the hair away from his eyes.

"Hmm…" she said, not looking very convinced. After all, he had only just been released from the hospital that morning, but she wasn't about to keep him away from this operation. She knew very well that he would be feeling some responsibility over what had happened to Callen, even though it was very much undeserved. "Stay out of the direct sunlight," she instructed him. "And drink plenty of water. You need to stay hydrated." She turned her attention to Kensi. "And how are you, Ms. Blye?"

"I'm alright, Hetty," Kensi replied.

"What I said to Mr. Deeks goes for you as well," Hetty stated. "I'd like to get you all home very soon and that won't happen if you keep winding up in the hospital."

"We won't end up back in the hospital, Hetty," Kensi said. "Don't worry about us."

Sam sighed, and started back towards the mine. All this small talk was just pointless. While they were out here chatting about mundane things like keeping out of the sunlight, G could be inside the mine dying in the darkness.

Hetty made a move to follow Sam when Granger shook his head. "Let me go, Henrietta," he said. She nodded and Granger headed off after Sam.

Sam mumbled under his breath when he realized Granger was trailing behind him. Couldn't anyone get he just wanted to be left alone? He was beyond annoyed with this whole situation. "What?!" he barked, turning around when he had once again reached the entrance to the mine.

Granger held up his hands and took a step back. "Whoa, Sam…I'm just making sure you're okay."

"No, I'm not okay, Granger," Sam said angrily. "G could be dying or already dead in there and we're out here twiddling our thumbs."

"I know you're frustrated…"

"You don't know anything," Sam said, shaking his head. "This is my partner and best friend we're talking about. Do you have any idea how helpless I'm feeling right now? And where the hell is this rescue team that's coming to get him out of here? They're taking their sweet time getting here."

"It hasn't been that long. These people are experts. We need to do this the right way."

"And to hell with G…I'm the only one who cares about him."

Granger sighed. "You know that's not true. Everyone out here cares about Callen."

"Yeah, whatever…" Sam clenched his fists and began pacing the width of the mine entrance. He knew he was becoming unhinged by the images assaulting his mind and his words were not entirely rational. He was sick and tired of this situation though. He wanted Callen out of here now.

xxxxx

Mercifully, the crew arrived about a half hour later. Unfortunately, it was determined that the structure was too unstable for a backhoe and a lot of the digging and manual labor was going to have to be done by hand. Sam was adamant that he be allowed to help and eagerly signed a form stating the rescue organization would be absolved of all responsibility if he were to sustain any kind of injury . Deeks watched the rescuers work longingly, cursing his condition which prevented him from being able to work alongside Sam. "It's okay, Deeks," Kensi said, taking his hand and squeezing it. "They'll get him out of here."

"I just wish I could help too," Deeks said, sighing heavily. "I hate just watching and waiting. All it does is make me feel even more helpless."

"I know," said Kensi. "I'd help too if I could, but we can't…there's nothing we can do about it."

Deeks nodded and took a sip from the bottle of water he was holding. He knew that Kensi was right, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with.

Hetty and Granger stood about 20 feet away from the younger team members, watching the rescuers moving the rock and debris. "Are you sure it's wise letting him do this?" Granger asked Hetty.

Hetty nodded. "I think it is, Owen. Sam is a man of action. I couldn't very well prohibit him from doing this, no more than I could stop Mr. Callen from helping if their situations were reversed." She knew that at least from a mental perspective, Sam was definitely better off working than sitting on the sidelines worrying about his partner.

"Yeah well, I really hope Callen's alive in there," Granger said as he gingerly massaged his temples, trying to ward off the tension headache he could feel beginning to form. "I can't imagine how Sam will react if he's not."

"I prefer not to think about that," Hetty stated. "I'm trying to be positive about this, Owen. Right now, I am assuming that Mr. Callen is very much alive."

Granger nodded. He really hoped that her assumption was correct.

xxxxx

Sam worked almost constantly throughout the day except for a few brief breaks to rest and to drink some water. He had been trying hard to focus on the task at hand and not dwell on what his partner could be going through inside the mine. Finally, just as the sun was setting over the horizon, they broke through. After that, things happened quickly. It didn't take long before they had enlarged the opening and it had been deemed to be stable enough for the men to enter the mine and search for Callen.

"I'm going with you guys," Sam called out as he started off in the direction of the rescue personnel about to enter the mine.

Hetty had made her way to the mine entrance once it had been successfully opened and quickly grabbed Sam's arm. "Are you sure about this?" she asked, her eyes expressing what she didn't dare to verbalize.

"I have to, Hetty." Sam gently pulled away from her. "No matter what…I owe it to him to be there when he's found. Even if…" he trailed off, not wanting to say the unthinkable when he was so close to finding his friend.

She nodded as she watched him go. "Godspeed…to both of you…"

Sam grabbed a flashlight and impatiently bolted on ahead of the rescue team. There was only one way to go so there was no chance of him getting lost. He never gave a second thought to the darkness or the claustrophobic elements of the mine. His thoughts were focused on one thing only…finding his partner alive. The flashlight lit his way as he trotted through the tunnel, his body filled with tension. He had lost track of how many times in the past week he had been afraid that Callen could be dead. He hoped he would be lucky again. Finally, he halted as the high-powered beam of the flashlight found his partner and Sam stared at him in dismay. Broken was the best word he could think of to describe him. Callen was lying on the ground, curled up on his left side, with his arm cradling his abdomen. His hospital gown was dirty and tattered and as Sam moved closer he saw that there was dried blood splattered all over the gown where it covered his abdominal area. Two pieces of rope were lying on the ground beside him.

Sam knelt down next to Callen and noted right away that his breathing was harsh and labored and he was shivering. He shook his head, already not happy with what he was seeing as he felt for his pulse which was very fast. "He's over here!" Sam yelled in the direction of the rescue team, hoping to hurry them along. "G?" Sam gently took Callen's hand. "Hey buddy, can you hear me?" He got no response though. He felt his forehead and as he suspected, he was burning up with fever. "What the hell did they do to you?" He shuddered at just the thought of what G had gone through since he had been taken from the hospital. "I'm sorry this happened to you, G…I'm just so sorry."

The rescue team arrived and took over, taking Callen's vitals and giving him oxygen. When they lifted up his hospital gown, Sam cringed when he saw the deep purple bruising on the right side of Callen's abdomen. As the rescuers secured Callen onto the gurney and prepared to carry him out of the mine, Sam's thoughts were on Johnathan Page and how he wanted to find the man and tear him apart from limb to limb for what he had done to his partner.


	22. Chapter 22

_As always, thanks for reading and reviewing._

xxxxx

Hetty, Granger, Deeks and Kensi were all waiting impatiently outside the mine when the rescuers and Sam emerged with Callen. Hetty put her hand up to her mouth, overwhelmed by the moment when she realized that Callen was alive. "Oh thank God," she whispered.

Kensi's eyes filled with tears as she gently hugged Deeks, being mindful of his injured shoulder.

"Sam?" Deeks gave him a questioning look, still not at ease with the situation. From what he could see, Callen looked much too pale and nothing about his appearance inspired confidence that he was okay.

Sam shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know, Deeks…he's in rough shape," he said as he followed the men carrying the gurney to the awaiting rough terrain ambulance. There was no way they were going to prevent him from accompanying his partner to the hospital.

"Come on, Henrietta. Let's go," Granger said as he started towards their vehicle.

Kensi and Deeks shared an uncertain look which Hetty didn't miss. "What is it?" she asked, looking first at Deeks and then Kensi.

"Sam drove us here," Kensi informed her.

"Oh?" Hetty questioned and then she understood the problem. "Oh, I see. " She called out to Granger. "Owen! I am going to drive Ms. Blye and Mr. Deeks back. I will meet you at the hospital."

Granger nodded and then got into his rental. Hetty swiftly made her way to the ambulance so she could retrieve the keys from Sam and then returned to Kensi and Deeks. "I think perhaps the two of you should go to the hotel and get some rest," Hetty stated as they headed to the SUV. "It's been a very long day and you both just got out of the hospital."

Deeks shook his head. "I want to go to the hospital and wait for word on Callen," he said.

"Me too," Kensi said.

"I really think…" Hetty began, but Deeks interrupted her as they reached the vehicle. "Hetty, please. This is important. If you won't bring us to the hospital, Kensi and I will just go there ourselves after you drop us off at the hotel." He opened the front passenger door for Kensi and took her crutches so she could get in.

"Don't get cheeky with me, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said, shaking her finger at him. "Just because we're not in Los Angeles, doesn't mean you can undermine my authority."

"Come on, Hetty, please?" Deeks gave Hetty his very best beguiling smile.

"Oh fine," Hetty said, trying to appear stern but not pulling it off particularly well. "But once we get word of Mr. Callen's condition, both of you are going to the hotel and getting some sleep. No arguments."

"We will, Hetty. I promise," Deeks said, looking earnestly at the operations manager. He then closed Kensi's door, got into the back seat of the SUV and fastened his seatbelt as Hetty started up the engine.

xxxxx

Sam sat by Callen's head in the innermost part of the ambulance, doing his best to stay out of the way of the EMT who was working on him. He was trying to keep focused on his partner's bruised face, and keep his eyes averted from Callen's mutilated torso, as he whispered assurances to him. "Everything's going to be okay, G…I'm right here with you. You're not alone anymore. I'm not going to leave you…" He kept Callen's hand firmly gripped in his own until they arrived at the hospital and then he had to let go as they transported Callen into the ER. Unlike the time before, his pleas made no difference at all and he was not permitted to stay with Callen. The doors closed behind his partner and he was forced to stay behind in the waiting room.

About 20 minutes after Callen had been brought into the ER, Hetty, Granger, Deeks and Kensi joined Sam in the waiting room. "Sam, are you alright?" Hetty asked as she took a seat next to her agent.

Sam shook his head, looking overwhelmed. "I don't know what I am right now, Hetty," he replied. "They wouldn't let me stay with him and I promised him I would…"

"You'll be back with him soon enough," Hetty said softly. "You have to try to believe that."

"Those bastards beat him," Sam said, his eyes filled with emotion. "He was all bruised and his wound was opened up again. How do you beat someone who was in the kind of shape he was in? It wasn't bad enough that they planned for him to die, all alone, sealed up in that mine, but they needed to hurt him too?"

"People like that don't think the way we do, Agent Hanna," Granger said, breaking into the discussion, his tone unusually gentle. "There's something missing in them."

"Yeah well this Page guy is going to have a missing head when I get through with him," Sam said his mood quickly turning to anger. His emotions were all over the place. He turned to Hetty. "How is that coming, by the way? Have Eric and Nell gotten anywhere trying to trace that cell phone number?"

Hetty shook her head. "I'm sorry, Sam. The phone has remained off since your conversation. "

"What about Jeff Anderson?" he asked.

"He's a ghost right now," Hetty said. "Hopefully, he will turn up."

"That's just great," Sam sighed, shaking his head in frustration.

"We will find them, Sam," Hetty said, patting his arm reassuringly.

xxxxx

"Can I get you a drink or something to eat?" Deeks asked, as he took Kensi's crutches from her and leaned them against the wall.

"I'm alright, Deeks," Kensi smiled at him as she seated herself in one of the waiting room chairs. She shifted about, trying to make herself comfortable as Deeks sat down beside her. "Maybe we can grab a late dinner somewhere after we find out that Callen is going to be okay."

Deeks sighed heavily. "Do you think he looked okay, Kensi?" he asked somberly. "Because I don't think he looked very good at all."

Kensi nervously gnawed on her lip before answering him. "He's going to be okay, Deeks…he has to be…"

"Us wishing it isn't going to make it come true," he said quietly. "It doesn't work that way."

"But being pessimistic won't help either." Kensi took his hand and held it in her lap. "We just have to hope and pray that Callen is going to get through this and he'll be coming home with us really soon."

Deeks looked over at Sam who was speaking with Hetty and Granger. He had deliberately chosen seats a little bit away from them in order to give Sam some space. "Sam's pretty much a basket case," he said. "I know how bad I feel about this, but I can't even imagine how I would feel if it was you behind those doors over there…"

"It's not me, Deeks." Kensi picked up his hand and gently kissed it before resting it back in her lap. "And I know you're still blaming yourself for this, no matter how many times we tell you that it wasn't your fault."

"Can you honestly tell me if it was you, that you wouldn't feel any guilt?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

Kensi sighed softly. "I don't know, Deeks…I would hope I would listen to my friends and trust that they were telling me the truth when they said they didn't blame me for what happened. Also, I would know that I had done everything in my power to keep Callen safe and there wasn't anything else I could have done. You were up against too many people, Deeks. All you could have done was ended up in the hospital for an even longer time or you could have been killed."

"She's right, Deeks," Sam said. He had quietly come up beside his younger team members and couldn't help but overhear their conversation. "I thought we talked about this, man…you need to stop. G wouldn't want you to be blaming yourself like this, especially when you did all that you could do."

"It's not that easy, Sam," Deeks said in a voice just barely louder than a whisper.

"I know it's not. You don't think I'm blaming myself too?"

Deeks looked up at Sam. "Why? You weren't even there."

"Exactly," said Sam, nodding. "I wasn't there when he needed me."

"But Hetty ordered you to go to the hotel, Sam," Kensi said. "It wasn't your fault you weren't there."

"Come on, Kensi," Sam said. "I could have forced the issue. I could have stayed with him. Hetty may have been pissed at me but that's where it would have ended. She cares about G too much to have ever made that big a deal over it if I hadn't done as she ordered. Plus, I know she's shouldering blame for this as well. Most of us are in one way or another."

She nodded as she looked at Deeks. "He's right, you know, Deeks. Granger apologized to you earlier. He must be feeling guilty as well."

"I guess," Deek acquiesced although still not entirely convinced.

"Anyhow Deeks," said Sam. "All of this guilt is going to be for nothing because G is going to pull through this and he won't be real happy if he finds out we were all throwing a pity party over which of us was most to blame for what happened to him."

"I'm not having a pity party," Deeks said, glaring at Sam.

"Glad to hear it," Sam said, returning Deeks' glare with a smile. "Granger and I are going to get some coffee. You two want some?"

"Yeah, coffee sounds good, Sam. Thanks," Kensi answered. She could definitely use the caffeine. She looked at Deeks who remained silent for a few long moments until finally he nodded.

"I'll have some too, Sam…thank you…for everything…"

"You're welcome, Deeks," said Sam. He patted the younger man's shoulder and headed over to where Granger was waiting for him.

xxxxx

An hour turned to two hours and they were still waiting for word on Callen. Sam's earlier optimism was gone and had been replaced by an increasing sense of foreboding. "It shouldn't be taking this long, Hetty," he said, shaking his head. Hetty patted his hand but she didn't contradict him. Inwardly, her own thoughts were rapidly spiraling downward as well. In this case, she was pretty sure that no news was bad news. Finally, a young nurse came out and called for Sam. "Mr. Hanna? The doctor would like to speak to you." Four pairs of eyes followed Sam as he walked through the doors to the patient care area of the ER.

xxxxx

Sam followed the nurse who led him into a curtained partition where Callen lay. "The doctor will be right with you," she said as she left him with his partner. Sam immediately felt tears come to his eyes as he walked to Callen's side. He had been put on a ventilator again and, like before, he was attached to numerous monitors. "I'm so sorry, G," Sam whispered as he took his friend's hand. "This never should have happened to you."

"Mr. Hanna?"

Sam quickly swiped the back of his hand over his eyes then turned to face yet another unfamiliar doctor.

"I'm Dr. Gregory."

Sam nodded. "How is he?" he asked, staring back at the doctor who Sam thought barely looked old enough to have graduated from medical school.

"Well…he's holding his own at the moment. I've gone over his medical records and spoken to Dr. Hathaway and we've both come to the same conclusion."

"Which is?"

"We believe Mr. Callen is suffering from sepsis. His current symptoms and serious abdominal infection strongly support this."

"Damn…" Sam shook his head trying to keep his emotions under control. "That's not good…"

"I won't lie to you. He's a very sick man, but he has no underlying medical issues and he's strong which will help him fight this. On the positive side, he has no signs of organ failure."

"But?"

Dr. Gregory sighed. "But we're going to have to wait and see. He is running a high fever. His blood pressure is very low and his breathing was not good which is why he's on the ventilator. He's going to be transferred back to the ICU and hopefully the medicine and his constitution will get him through this."

"He hates being on a ventilator," Sam said unhappily.

"He was struggling too hard to breathe," Dr. Gregory said. "We did it to ease some of the stress on his body. Hopefully, he won't have to be on it for too long."

Sam anxiously looked at his partner and then back at the doctor. "Do…do you think he'll be okay?"

"I have never bet against a patient, Mr. Hanna," Dr. Gregory said. "I'm not about to start now."

xxxxx

Sam dejectedly headed back out towards the waiting room. He wasn't looking forward to delivering the bad news to his friends. Hetty was the first one to see Sam as he walked towards them and she knew from the way he was carrying himself that the news was not good.

"Mr. Hanna?" she said, inwardly bracing herself for whatever it was he had to say.

"The doctor said he has sepsis," Sam said. "That damn infection just has hold of him and won't let go."

"Did he give you any kind of a prognosis?" Granger asked, looking worried.

Sam shrugged. "He said he's holding his own right now. He's back on a ventilator to help with his breathing." He shook his head. "He was trying to put a positive spin on it, but…I don't know…"

"Callen's strong," Deeks said quietly, his eyes troubled as he spoke.

"He's a fighter, Sam," Kensi said, trying hard to be optimistic. "You know he is."

"Sometimes it's hard to fight when you keep getting knocked down, no matter how hard you're trying though," Sam responded.

"He's not going to give up, Sam," Hetty said. "We can't give up on him either."

"I won't give up," Sam said. "I never would."

"So, are they bringing him up to the ICU?" Granger asked.

Sam nodded. "They are getting him ready to go. They're going to come get me when they're ready to transport him. "

"Before you do that, I'd like to get your input on agents who you trust so we can assemble two teams for protection detail. I'm not going to leave any openings for Page and his goons this time around."

"I can do that," Sam said as he and Granger stepped aside to discuss the matter, leaving Hetty alone with Deeks and Kensi.

"So Mr. Deeks," Hetty began as she reached into her handbag and pulled out a hotel keycard. "If I remember correctly, a promise was made to me back at the mine."

Deeks sighed, but he nodded. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was exhausted and his head was pounding. He also knew Kensi was in a fair amount of pain although she had been trying to hide it from him. "You'll let us know if anything changes?"

"Yes, of course I will," Hetty said, nodding. "Now, please, the two of you go have a nice dinner and get some rest. If you're not up to going out, get room service. I believe it is available until 1 a.m. The food at the hotel restaurant is supposedly quite good."

Deeks grabbed Kensi's crutches and waited patiently for her to stand up and balance herself. "Thank you, Hetty," he said.

"Good night, Hetty," Kensi said. "Please try to get some rest yourself. You know Callen wouldn't want you to worry yourself sick over him."

"I will be fine, Ms. Blye. Now off with you. I'm sure I will see you tomorrow at some point."

"Good night," Deeks said. The two gave a quick goodbye to Sam and Granger and then headed off to get a taxi to take them to the hotel.

About a half hour after Kensi and Deeks left, the nurse from earlier came out into the waiting room and beckoned to Sam, who went to accompany his partner to the ICU. At that point, Granger came back over to Hetty. "Henrietta, I'm going to the Security Office and discuss an enhanced security protocol until our agents get here. Do you want to join me?"

Hetty internally debated before shaking her head. "I'm sure you can handle that, Owen. I think I'm going to head back to the hotel. I'll be back here early tomorrow morning." She felt emotionally drained by all that had been happening over the past few days and knew she needed to rest. She was not as young as she used to be. Not to mention, a good old fashioned crying spell might be exactly what she needed to try to cope with these latest disturbing developments, as she wondered whether her boy would ever fully recover, physically and emotionally, from all that had happened to him.


	23. Chapter 23

_Thanks so much for all the exceptionally nice reviews for the last chapter. (Skippy, sorry but you might want to skip over the second section of this chapter lol_ ;) _) As always, I really appreciate all of you who are reading and reviewing. It truly means a lot_ :)

xxxxx

Sam stood and watched while the ICU staff got Callen situated. He couldn't help but think how small and fragile his partner looked in the current setting. Everything he had gone through was definitely taking its toll. G didn't even look like himself. He was extremely pale and still and Sam didn't even want to think about how much weight he had lost. Finally, they finished setting up all the monitors and Sam and Callen were left alone. "Well, G…looks like you've got another battle ahead of you," Sam said softly as he stood next to Callen's bedside and took his hand. "But the team and I are going to be right here for you, every step of the way. Whatever you need from us, we've got your back. I just…I cannot lose you, G… not after all that has happened. You need to fight your way through this so we can all go home together." He watched Callen closely, looking for any sign that he could hear him or was aware of his presence, but there was nothing. "That's okay, G…" Sam sat down in the chair next to his bed but kept a firm grasp on Callen's hand. "You sleep now…you deserve it, but when you've rested enough, and you're ready to wake up, I'm going to be right here waiting for you…"

xxxxx

Deeks opened the door to the hotel room, switched on the light and waited for Kensi to go in ahead of him. "Oh Deeks…" Kensi said, her gaze drawn to the view of the multi-colored glittering lights of the city from their window. "It's breathtaking." She slowly made her way over to the sofa and sat down, entranced by the sight of the Space Needle which was beautifully lit up with a half-moon casting a beam of light just above it.

Deeks sat down beside her, glad to have a little bit of pleasure in the midst of what had been a taxing and exhausting day. "You're breathtaking," he said softly as he wrapped his arm around her.

Kensi knew she was far from breathtaking at that moment, but she appreciated his compliment nonetheless. She rested her head on his shoulder for a few minutes and allowed her eyes to close but then giggled when his stomach began to rumble.

"Oh you think that's funny, do you?" Deeks asked, grinning at her.

"I think you'd better grab the room service menu and order something really fast or you're going to have to find a late night Chinese food place that delivers," Kensi said with a smile.

"I guess you're right about that." Deeks reached for the leather bound hotel guide on the coffee table and found the room service menu. "What do you feel like?" he asked.

Kensi yawned sleepily. "Mm…I don't know. It's so late. Nothing too heavy, just something to tide me over until tomorrow morning. What do they have on there?"

Deeks skimmed through the menu. "Let's see…they have salads, sandwiches, pizza, some dinner entrees, but I don't think we want those, desserts."

"I don't know," said Kensi. "Maybe pizza? What kinds of desserts are there?"

"They've got roasted apple crisp, big chocolate…"

"What's big chocolate?" Kensi asked.

"It's a moist chocolate cake layered with creamy chocolate pudding and topped with chocolate chunks," he read off the menu.

Kensi made a face and shook her head. "That sounds too rich…way too much chocolate…"

"Really?" asked Deeks, smiling playfully. "I didn't think there was any such thing as too much chocolate where you were concerned."

"Very funny," said Kensi. "Even I have my limits and that definitely exceeds them. What else?"

"Passion fruit cheesecake," he said winking at her. "And a fresh fruit plate with raspberry sorbet."

"Oh that sounds good," she said, nodding in approval. "I think I'll skip the pizza and just have the fruit plate."

"Okay." He browsed through the menu again. "Actually, I think I'll get that as well. They have really good choices for breakfast. I think I'll just get something more substantial in the morning." He reached for the phone on the side table, next to the sofa, and called down to order their food. "They said 15 to 20 minutes," he said after he had hung up the phone.

"That's not too bad," Kensi said. She painstakingly raised her leg up and rested it on the coffee table, wincing a little as she did so.

"Let me get you a pillow," Deeks said. He got up and headed to the bedroom, then returned with an over-stuffed pillow, which he gently placed under her foot. "Better?" he asked, looking at her with concern evident in his eyes.

"I'm fine, Deeks. Thank you." She patted the spot next to her. "Sit. I know you're exhausted."

"I won't deny it." Deeks sighed as he dropped to the sofa and leaned his head back, allowing his body to totally relax. "It was a very long day."

"At least we found him," Kensi said, gently brushing Deeks' hair off his forehead. "I know it's still not the best situation, but it's better than Callen being missing and us thinking the worst."

"I know…I just wish he wasn't so badly injured and now with the sepsis…" He shook his head fretfully. "I really hope he gets through this, Kensi."

"Just try to get your mind off it for now, Deeks," Kensi said, resting her head on his chest. "Dwelling on it isn't going to help Callen recover any sooner."

"I know," he said, letting his gaze drift over the vibrant cityscape outside their window. It really was an amazing view. Hetty had certainly gone all out getting this suite for them. He yawned and allowed his eyes to close. The sofa was very comfortable. Before he knew it, he was asleep.

A loud rapping on the door to their suite abruptly awoke Deeks and Kensi who had also drifted off. Deeks rose from the sofa and went to answer the door then quickly returned, a few moments later, with the two fruit plates on a tray. "Oh those are so pretty," Kensi said, admiring the artistically placed fruit and sorbet on each plate. "They almost look too nice to eat."

"Really?" Deeks speared a half strawberry with his fork and put it into his mouth. "Mm… delicious. If you're not going to eat yours, I'll do it for you," he said with a teasing smile. "I can take a picture of it first if you want."

Kensi shook her head, trying to hide her amusement as she nibbled on a slice of cantaloupe. "It really is good," she said with a contented sigh.

Deeks nodded, but didn't answer her as he continued to eat. Now that he had started on the fruit, he realized how hungry he really was. The two continued to eat until both plates were empty. They then sat cuddled together as they enjoyed the view, both getting more and more sleepy. Finally Deeks roused Kensi who was dozing against him. "Hey baby," he said, giving her a light kiss on the lips. "We really need to go to bed. "

"I can stay here," Kensi murmured sleepily.

Deeks shook his head. "Come on, Kensi. The bed looks very comfortable. You'll sleep better there. "

Kensi nodded, still half asleep. "Okay." She struggled to awaken and raise herself off the sofa as Deeks handed her the pair of crutches. He patiently walked behind her as she slowly made her way to the bedroom and then they helped each other to get ready for bed. A short time later, the two were wrapped together, fast asleep.

xxxxx

Having completed the arrangements for a group of agents to be brought in as security detail for Callen, Assistant Director Granger drove the rental to a 24 hour restaurant, bought some food and drinks, then returned to the hospital and headed to the ICU. He hesitated at the doorway to Callen's cubicle when he saw Agent Hanna holding Callen's hand and participating in a one-sided conversation with his partner. Finally he cleared his throat and entered the small room. "Granger," Sam said, looking up at the other man through tired eyes. "I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow."

"It took me some time to set up the security. I was able to get most of the agents you suggested. Atkins and Rollins are out on assignment but the rest of them should be here within the next day. Fredericks, Bates and Campbell are on a flight landing in about an hour and a half. I'll assign one of them outside the ICU and two of them right outside this room. They'll be checking IDs and making sure everyone is who they say they are and where they're supposed to be. "

Sam nodded. "That's good." He was pretty sure Page wouldn't even know G had been rescued from the mine, but they couldn't be too careful as far as he was concerned.

"Any change?" Granger asked, his eyes fixed on Callen.

"No…nothing yet," Sam replied.

"Well…it hasn't been very long," Granger said. "I guess we need to give the medicine a chance to do its job."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, it's hard though…he's been out of it for a while now."

"He was doing pretty well before Henrietta and I left him that day," Granger said, shaking his head, a trace of a smile on his lips. "Honestly, I thought he was going out of his way to irritate me…"

"Yeah?" Sam couldn't help but smile at the thought of Callen deliberately trying to annoy Granger. He wished he had been there to see it.

Granger nodded. "He kept turning the television on and off, switching channels. He was bored to distraction…that's why Henrietta wanted to get him the tablet, but…I should have just let her go alone. I honestly don't know what I was thinking leaving him with Kensi and Deeks when they were both injured…I guess I didn't really think anything would happen. I was wrong. I'm sorry about that…"

Sam sighed softly. He still didn't like thinking about what had taken place and how G had ended up in Page's clutches, but his anger over what had happened was pretty much gone now. "You trusted Anderson. Anyhow, Page assembled a group which was bigger than any of us could have anticipated. It wouldn't have mattered if you had stayed. You likely would have ended up as another casualty."

"I just wish I hadn't trusted Anderson," Granger stated. "He wasn't with NCIS for all that long…I should have been smarter about who I chose."

"We've got G back now," Sam said, his eyes once again on his ailing partner. "That's all that matters. He just needs to get well and we need to get that bastard who did this to him."

"I hope we can do that," Granger said. "Unfortunately, money is no object to this guy. He can easily make himself disappear… unless…"

"Unless what?" Sam asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." Granger shook his head quickly.

"Tell me," Sam demanded, already pretty sure he knew what Granger was hinting at.

"Unless we draw him out."

"Use G as bait? When he's sick like this? Are you crazy? That's not happening," Sam said, his anger flaring as he shook his head vigorously.

"Of course it's not happening now," Granger said, already regretting his words when Sam was so emotional and Callen was in such bad shape. "In any case, I wouldn't even think about it until he's doing better and we'd make sure he was protected."

"Yeah, well I'm not thinking about it at all. Not now. Not when he's doing better either," Sam stated. Just the thought of endangering his partner again sent a chill down his spine. He'd been through too much. It was not a risk Sam would be willing to take. He didn't even bother to debate Granger about the so-called protection that would be provided. No protection, no matter how well thought out or supposedly fool-proof, was ever one hundred percent.

Granger let the matter drop. If and when the time came, it would be Callen's decision how it was handled, not Sam's. In any case, it wasn't anything that would be decided now. He'd never put anything into play until Callen was well on the road to recovery and able to defend himself. He was a long way from that at the moment. He decided to change the subject. "I don't think you ate anything all day today…well I guess it was yesterday," he began.

"I'm not leaving him," Sam snapped.

"Calm down, Sam," Granger tried to soothe the man who he could see was barely hanging by a thread. He badly needed to eat something and get some rest. "I'm not expecting you to leave him. I just wanted to say I brought you some food." He placed the bag he was carrying on Callen's bed. "Salad, a sandwich, some snacks and drinks."

"Oh," Sam felt his cheeks flush, feeling a little bit foolish for having jumped to conclusions so quickly. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

"Okay, well…" Granger was a bit uncomfortable now and more than ready to leave. "I'm actually going to head out to the airport to pick up our agents and brief them on the way back here. You take care of yourself, Sam. Try to rest if you can. Just so you know, there's a hospital security guard stationed outside his room for now."

Sam nodded. "Okay…thank you and thanks for bringing the food."

"I'll see you later, Sam," Granger gave a quick wave and headed out of the cubicle.

Sam didn't really feel all that hungry, but he knew it was important to keep his strength up. G needed him and he didn't want to let him down. He opened the bag and pulled out the salad and a bottle of green tea then resumed his vigil over his partner.

xxxxx

Hetty turned restlessly in bed, yet again, and looked at the time on the digital clock which was sitting on the nightstand next to her bed. 4:37 a.m. Except for a few brief periods of what could only be described as catnaps, she had not slept at all. Her thoughts were constantly on Callen. She had left the hospital, wanting to give Sam some much needed alone time with his partner, but she didn't think she could stay away much longer. She got out of bed and went to the kitchenette to make herself a cup of tea, hoping it would relax her enough to sleep. She kept thinking about how Callen had looked when they brought him out of the mine though, beaten and unconscious. Then her thoughts would go to how he must have felt while trapped in there, all alone in the darkness, wondering if he was going to die. She was sure he had suffered tremendously and the thought of what he had gone through just about broke her heart. Finally, she couldn't bear it any longer. She had to see him, if just for a short while. She quickly showered and dressed then went down to the garage, where the SUV was parked, and headed to the hospital.

When Hetty arrived at the ICU, she was greeted outside the unit by an exceptional agent, who she knew and liked very well, Janice Bates. "Janice, I didn't realize Owen had recruited you," she said, smiling at the young woman. "Would you like to see my ID?"

Janice laughed. "I don't think that's necessary, Hetty." She quickly grew serious, however. "I'm so sorry to hear about Agent Callen. He's a good man. I hope he recovers very soon."

"As do I, my dear," Hetty said, nodding. "As do I..." She pressed the button for the ICU entrance and after identifying herself to the nurse, she was buzzed in. A few minutes later, she was outside Callen's room where she greeted the two NCIS agents stationed there, Paul Fredericks and Bill Campbell, both men who were professional and who she believed to be trustworthy. She had to admit, Owen seemed to have done well as far as getting adequate protection for her boy. She quietly made her way into Callen's room and saw Sam, fast asleep, with his hand protectively over Callen's. It touched her heart to see how much Sam cared for him.

She walked quietly to the opposite side of the bed from Sam and gently brushed her fingers over Callen's bruised cheek. "Eu sunt atât de rău acest lucru sa întâmplat cu tine, Grisha. Trebuie să obţineţi bine, baiete. Toti avem iubirea şi grija pentru foarte mult," she whispered as a few tears trailed down her cheeks.

Sam stirred and his eyes opened. He seemed confused for a moment as he looked at Hetty then sat up straighter. "Hi, Hetty," he said, still somewhat sleepy. "Uh, what time is it?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said. "It's very, very early. I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's okay," Sam murmured. He glanced at his partner, but did not see any apparent change. "Would you like to sit down?" he asked.

Hetty shook her head. "No. I just needed to see him. I'm not planning to stay here long."

"You can stay as long as you'd like, Hetty," Sam said quietly. "I know how important he is to you."

She nodded. "You are all important to me," she said, looking at Sam thoughtfully. "How are you doing? Have you gotten yourself anything to eat?"

"Granger took care of that," Sam said, nodding towards the bag which he had placed on Callen's nightstand.

"That was good of him to do," Hetty said. Sometimes Owen did manage to surprise her.

"It was," Sam said. Then he covered his mouth, unable to hold back a yawn.

"I should go," Hetty said, realizing how exhausted Sam was and unsure how well he would rest if she was there.

Sam quickly shook his head as he stiffly got up from the chair. "I'm going to go get a cup of coffee," he said. "Why don't you sit with him while I'm gone? Can I get you something?"

"No, no, I'm fine, Sam. Thank you." Hetty smiled at him as he left the room and then went to sit in the chair he had just relinquished. She lightly patted the top of Callen's hand. "You're very lucky to have a partner who cares about you so much, Mr. Callen," she said softly. "You need to try very hard to get well for him…for all of us." She allowed a few more tears to fall as she watched over him. She hated seeing him hurt so badly. She only hoped that he was resting peacefully and was not experiencing any of the nightmares she knew he was prone to. At least he wasn't tossing and turning which she took to be a good sign.

xxxxx

Sam decided to give Hetty a bit of time alone with Callen. The cafeteria was not yet open so, after a trip to the restroom, he got a cup of barely passable coffee from a vending machine and then found a quiet area where he could call Michelle. Although it was early, he knew she would be up. He had texted her the day before to tell her that Callen had been found, but had not spoken to her. She answered almost immediately after he had hit the dial button. "Hello?"

"Hey baby," Sam smiled into the phone, happy to hear her voice. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Sam. How are you? How's Callen?"

"I'm fine. G's hanging in there."

"Where was he? You never said."

Sam sighed heavily. "He was trapped in a mine. He was beaten pretty badly and Page sealed him up in there. He hasn't regained consciousness. The doctor said he has sepsis. He's still on a ventilator." He recited the medical facts, thinking how detached he sounded as he did so, when that was the furthest thing from the truth.

Michelle's hesitation was apparent as the other end of the line was momentarily silent. "Sam? Are you sure you're okay?"

He swallowed hard, his emotions threatening to bubble to the surface which wasn't what he wanted right then. "Yeah…yeah, baby, I'm good."

"I could come. I could be there in just a few hours."

He almost said yes. Just the thought of holding his wife in his arms and letting go of his emotions was more than a little bit tempting. However, he didn't want her to have to spend all her time at the hospital and he wasn't about to leave G any time soon. For him to drag her away from their daughter just to be with and console him would be selfish. "No, Michelle. I'm at the hospital all the time. I think it would be better for you to stay with Kamran…"

"Alright…if you're sure."

"I am. I love you, Michelle. I'll talk to you soon."

"I love you too, Sam. Give my love to that partner of yours. Tell him I expect to be seeing him for dinner real soon."

"I will. Bye, baby." He clicked off the phone and closed his eyes in exhaustion, relishing the relative silence, without the constant beeps and alarms heard in the ICU. In very real danger of falling asleep, Sam finally forced his eyes open and headed back to resume watching over his partner.

xxxxx

 _I don't think the Romanian translation was all that accurate since a couple of different sites gave different results, but it was supposed to say: "I am so sorry this happened to you, Grisha. You must get well, my boy. We all love and care for you very much." Thanks for reading_ :)


	24. Chapter 24

_Sorry, posting little later than usual. Had a hard time finishing this (I'm going to be exhausted at work tomorrow lol). Hope there aren't too many sleep deprived errors in this chapter. Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it so much._

xxxxx

"Hi, Sam. How's he doing?" Jennifer, the dark-haired respiratory therapist asked as she walked into Callen's ICU cubicle.

"No change that I've noticed," Sam said, sounding a bit discouraged. A therapist came in to check on Callen every four hours like clockwork. He or she would check ventilator settings and perform a number of protocols which were necessary before they would be able to take his partner off the ventilator. Jennifer was the current therapist.

"Why don't you see if you can rouse him," Jennifer suggested to Sam after she had checked Callen once again.

"Yeah?" Sam asked and she nodded with a reassuring smile.

"Hey G? Hey buddy, it's me, Sam. Come on…come on, buddy, wake up for me." He gently squeezed his hand then increased the pressure on his grip, but Callen remained still. Disheartened, Sam loosened his grip. "Nothing."

"Don't be frustrated, Sam," Jennifer said. "He is definitely improving. His vital signs are better and his temperature is lower. I think he'll wake up soon. I'll be back once more before the end of my shift. We'll try again then, unless he's already woken up on his own. Okay?"

Sam nodded. "Thanks, Jennifer." She left the room and Sam got up from his chair with a slight moan, walking around in the limited space and stretching his muscles out. He felt stiff and sore and had to admit he was starving. He definitely needed to go and get something for lunch before much longer. Hetty had gone and gotten him some breakfast before leaving that morning, but that had been hours ago and the persistent growling sounds coming from Sam's stomach were a constant reminder that he needed to eat. He sat back down and a few minutes later, his cell phone, which was placed on top of the nightstand, vibrated and Sam picked it up. He smiled as he downloaded, then looked at, the image sent from his daughter. It was a picture of a hand-drawn card with what he assumed to be a drawing of Callen and Kamran. There was a sun, blue sky, grass, trees and flowers with big letters which said "I Love You, Uncle Callen. Get Well Soon."

He texted back a thank you to his daughter, assuring her that he would be sure to show the card to Callen, once he was awake. "G…I really wish you'd wake up," he said, his eyes on his partner once again. "Everybody says you're starting to improve, but I'd really appreciate it if you could wake up and prove it to me." He took his hand again and squeezed it encouragingly. "Come on, buddy, let me see those pretty blue eyes that all the ladies like so much."

"I can show you my pretty blue eyes, if you'd like," Deeks said, grinning as he came into the cubicle, carrying a couple of brown paper bags. "How's he doing?"

Sam shrugged and sighed heavily. "I don't know, Deeks. Everyone says he's doing better, but seeing him like this, it's just kind of hard to believe."

Deeks nodded. "I get that, Sam, but you know how tough he is. He's not going to let you down."

"I know…he could never let me down," Sam said.

"So, how about you, Sam? You doing okay?" Deeks grabbed a chair that Sam had brought into the room that morning and sat down.

"I'm alright," Sam said.

"Really?" Deeks asked, not looking convinced. "You need to take a break? I can stay with him for a while."

Sam shook his head. "No, I'm good. Wait, is Kensi here?" he asked. If she was, he would give his two team members a chance to visit with Callen for a while. He would just sit in the waiting area right outside the ICU.

"No," Deeks said, shaking his head. "She was in a lot of pain this morning. I convinced her to stay at the hotel and rest."

"That was a good idea," Sam said with a nod. "You probably could use some rest yourself."

"You trying to get rid of me?" Deeks teased.

"If I wanted to get rid of you, Deeks, you'd know it," Sam said with a smirk.

"Not to mention, if you were to get rid of me, you wouldn't get this," Deeks said, handing a paper bag to Sam.

"Oh thank you, Deeks," Sam said as he opened the bag and pulled out a salad. "I'm starved."

"It's an Asian Tempeh Salad," said Deeks as he handed him the other bag. "And in here are a Blue Coconut Smoothie and a Tropical Breeze Smoothie."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," Sam said as he tore open the wrapping covering the plastic knife, fork and spoon set. "Aren't you going to have anything?"

Deeks shook his head. "No. Kensi and I had a huge breakfast this morning. I had the best waffles I've ever tasted." He patted his stomach contentedly. "I'm definitely good until dinner."

"G likes waffles," Sam said, his demeanor forlorn again.

"He can have them soon enough," Deeks said, trying to boost Sam's spirits. "Once he's sprung from this place, I'm sure Hetty will let him stay in the hotel for a night or two before flying back to LA."

"You sure you don't want any of this?" Sam decided to change the subject as he took a forkful of the salad. "Mm, this is great."

"No. I'm good." Deeks shook his head. "So, has anyone else been here today?" he asked, as his gaze rested on Callen.

"Hetty was here at the crack of dawn," Sam said. "I don't think she got any sleep at all."

"I'd say that goes for you too," Deeks observed.

"Yeah well…" Sam shrugged. "You know how it is…"

Deeks nodded. "Yeah, yeah I do…"

The two men were quiet for a few minutes as Sam ate and Deeks found himself listening to the beeps of the monitors. His gaze drifted towards Callen once again and he was startled to see the patient's blue eyes open and looking back at him. "Sam!"

"What the hell, Deeks." Sam jumped slightly, almost dropping the salad onto the floor.

"Look," Deeks pointed in Callen's direction.

"G!" Sam grabbed Callen's hand as he saw his partner's familiar panicked reaction due to the ventilator. He pressed the buzzer with his free hand. "Come on, G. You know the drill. Don't fight it. You're alright. I'm right here with you."

A nurse came quickly into the cubicle and immediately noted the situation. "The respiratory therapist is right down the hall," she announced. "I'll get her."

"G, you've got to calm down," Sam said, noting Callen's heart rate was starting to climb. "Come on, buddy. Everything is okay."

Dr. Hathaway, Callen's nurse and Jennifer, the respiratory therapist came into the now too crowded cubicle. "Can you two gentlemen step out, please?" Jennifer asked.

Deeks quickly complied with the request while Sam remained where he was. "I think it might be better if I stay," he said quietly, nodding at the white knuckled death grip Callen had on his hand.

"You really need to leave," the nurse said, but the doctor interrupted.

"That's fine. He can stay," he said. "Try to keep him calm."

Sam focused on his partner, quietly talking to him as the doctor performed a quick exam and Jennifer scanned the various ventilator settings. They then helped Callen to sit up and suctioning of his breathing tube and mouth was performed. Finally, the breathing tube cuff was deflated. Jennifer asked Callen to cough and the breathing tube was then removed. Callen continued to cough, clearly uncomfortable. Finally, he stopped coughing and appeared less agitated as he rested back against the pillows. "Welcome back, Mr. Callen," Dr. Hathaway said. "Are you breathing comfortably? Callen nodded as the doctor checked his vital signs. Finally, after asking Callen a few more questions, the trio of medical personnel left the room and Callen and Sam were finally alone.

Callen stared at his partner, an uncertain look in his eyes. "You okay?" Sam asked him. "Do you need something?"

"Are…are you real?" Callen finally asked him in a hoarse voice, staring at Sam as if he was a ghost.

Sam squeezed Callen's hand and then patted it. "Do I feel real?" he asked gently.

Callen nodded as a lone tear trickled down his cheek and he bowed his head, trying to control his emotions. "You're okay, G," Sam said soothingly. He reached for his partner and gently pulled him into a hug. "Everything's okay, buddy. It's over."

Callen allowed Sam to comfort him as he continued to try to get himself under control. Finally, the tears stopped and he pulled back and Sam gradually lessened his hold on him. "You good?" Sam asked, his eyes fixed on Callen's eyes, trying to read the other man.

Callen nodded, still seeming somewhat shaky. "How…how did you find me?" His voice was tremulous and he was visibly shaking as he pulled the blanket up more tightly around his body.

"You cold, G?" Sam asked uneasily. Callen was a nervous wreck. Sam couldn't recall ever seeing him like this. "You want me to have the nurse bring you another blanket?"

Callen shook his head. "I'm alright. This…this is real, right? It…it's not a trick?"

"I promise you, this is real," Sam said keeping the tone of his voice even as he tried to cover his concern. "A woman called me…she told me where you were and we found you."

"Alyssa…" Callen said. "I wasn't sure…I didn't know…" He shook his head, the memories of his time spent in the cave assaulting him as tears started again. "It…it was so bad, Sam…"

"I know," Sam said gently. "You're going to get through this, G. I'll do whatever I can to help you."

Callen nodded as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I know you will, Sam. Thank you," he whispered.

xxxx

In the hallway, outside Callen's ICU cubicle, Deeks had been pacing around nervously before the medical personnel had exited. None of them had addressed him though and he hadn't approached them, assuming they wouldn't have violated Callen's medical privacy, nor would he have asked them to. After giving Sam some time alone with his partner, he had peeked in a couple of times. Both times, Callen had appeared overwrought with emotions and he had backed off, not wanting to intrude. Finally, when he looked in a third time, Callen appeared to be somewhat calmer. "Hey, can I come in?" he asked somberly from the entrance to the cubicle.

Callen looked up to see Deeks and nodded. "Sure, come in Deek," he said quietly.

"How are you doing?" Deeks asked as he walked up to Callen's bedside.

"I'm okay," Callen replied, not sounding particularly sure of himself.

Deeks nodded. "That's good. We've been really worried about you. It's good to see you awake." He glanced at Sam and then back at Callen. "Well, I don't want to intrude. I just wanted to see you, make sure you're alright. I'm going to get back to Kensi, but…"

"Kensi?" Callen asked anxiously. "Why? Is she okay? Where is she?"

"G, Kensi's fine," Sam said reassuringly. "She's just at the hotel. She has a broken ankle, remember? She's just resting."

Deeks nodded, confirming what Sam had said. "Sam's right, Callen. Kensi is okay. She'll be happy to hear you're doing better."

Callen nodded, then looked down and started fidgeting with the blanket. "I'm glad she's okay Tell her I said hi."

"I will…Okay…well…I'll get going…give you guys some time to talk," Deeks said slowly. "I'll be back to see you tomorrow, okay? Kensi will probably come too."

"Okay," Callen replied, his voice soft. "Thanks Deeks."

"Take care of yourself, Callen."

Callen's eyes followed Deeks as he left the cubicle and then he resumed his nervous fidgeting with the blanket.

"You need anything, G?" Sam asked after Deeks had left.

"I…some water?" Callen asked uncertainly as he glanced at his partner. "Can I have it?"

"I'm not sure," Sam replied as he reached for the buzzer and pressed the button. "Let's find out," he said with a soft smile.

Callen shifted in bed and there was a hitch in his breathing as he winced.

"You in pain, G?" Sam asked worriedly.

"I…yeah some," Callen admitted.

Callen's nurse came into the cubicle, a smile on her face. "Are you doing okay?" she asked him. "What can I do for you?"

Callen looked at her and then spoke hesitantly. "I…am I allowed to have water?" he asked.

The nurse nodded. "Yes, you are. I'll get you some." She turned to leave the room when Sam called her back.

"He's in pain," Sam informed her. "Maybe you could get him something?"

She looked at Callen who was staring down at his lap and then nodded at Sam. "He's about due for his next dose of pain medication anyway," she said.

"You feel like talking, G?" Sam asked after the nurse had left.

Callen shook his head quickly, his eyes appearing haunted. "No…I really don't want to talk about it."

Sam slowly nodded. "I know you don't…eventually you're going to have to though. You know that, right?"

Callen's breathing quickened as he nervously began fidgeting with his blanket again. "Sam…I appreciate you being here and everything you've done for me, but…but, I just woke up…I really, really don't want to talk about it, okay?" His voice rose then broke and he looked on the verge of tears once again. Sam immediately regretted pushing him. It was obvious Callen was traumatized and Sam was only succeeding in making it worse on him.

"You're right…I'm sorry. I won't push you, G, okay? I'm sorry." He rubbed his partner's shoulder gently, trying to calm him. "Just relax…take it easy. Everything's going to be alright. You'll get through this, okay? I promise, we're going to get you through this..."


	25. Chapter 25

_Thanks, as always, for your kind words and support of this story. It's super late so I'm just going to post this and get to bed._ :)

xxxxx

The nurse quickly returned with a pitcher of ice water and some plastic cups which she placed on Callen's bedside table. "Don't drink it too quickly," she instructed with a soft smile as she used a syringe to begin to inject some medicine into Callen's IV. "You don't want to upset your stomach." Callen's eyes widened as he eyed her nervously and his heart and respiratory rates began rising. "Are you okay?" The nurse asked with concern as she finished injecting the medication.

Callen nodded. "Yes…yes, I'm good," he said, forcing himself to regulate his breathing and settle his nerves.

The nurse noted that his vital signs were normalizing and seemed satisfied. "Okay, you know how to get me if you need anything."

Callen nodded silently and Sam thanked her as she left the room.

"G? What was that about?" Sam asked his partner, his tone quietly concerned.

Callen shook his head, fighting the urge to play with the blanket again. He was pretty sure Sam already thought he was losing it and doing things like that would only confirm his suspicions. "I don't know," he finally whispered.

"Come on, man…something spooked you."

"I…it just reminded me of when I was abducted…" he said, nervously gnawing his lower lip. "Alyssa drugged me through the IV…It's not a big deal."

Sam nodded, realizing all of this was a very big deal whether his partner wanted to admit it or not. "Why don't you drink some water," he suggested as he picked up the pitcher and poured some of the icy liquid into a cup and handed it to Callen. "Might make you feel better."

Callen gripped the cup tightly, afraid that his hand would start shaking and he would drop it, but he was able to keep it steady. He took a small sip of water and then repeated it. The cool liquid felt really good as it soothed his parched, dry throat. "That's good," he said as he took another sip then placed the cup on the tray. He could feel himself rapidly beginning to tire but he was desperately trying to fight against sleep.

"You should get some rest, G," Sam said softly, noting his partner's heavy lidded eyes. He could see how worn out he was.

"I'm not tired."

Sam smiled. At that moment, his partner reminded him of Kamran when she was stubbornly fighting against going to bed. "Come on, get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Callen shook his head. "No. I'm not tired," he insisted again as his monitor readings began to rise, cluing Sam in that this was more than his partner being stubborn.

"Why don't you want to sleep?" Sam asked softly,

"I told you. I'll sleep when I need to."

Sam shook his head. "If your vitals keep rising like this, you're going to be setting off all kinds of alarms," he said. "I've got to say, these monitors are kind of like a lie detector, G…they tell me all kinds of things about you."

"I'm not a liar," Callen snapped.

"I'm sorry," Sam agreed. "That was a bad choice of words. I know you're not a liar. You're just omitting certain things. I can see how tired you are, buddy…I really wish you'd tell me why you don't want to sleep."

"Fine, I'll tell you," Callen answered, a hitch in his voice, knowing Sam wasn't going to let it drop and he was too drained to even attempt to fight him. "When…when I was in the mine, sometimes I would sleep and have dreams and I would think that everything was okay, but then I'd wake up and…and I'd be back trapped in the darkness. I…I don't want that to happen…I just…I don't think I could take it," he ended shakily.

"Oh, G…" Sam's eyes were sad as he reached for his partner and gently pulled him in against his chest. "I promise you…this is real. You feel me, right? You're not going to wake up back in that cave. I wish I could make you trust me." He gently rubbed Callen's back wanting to make his partner believe his words.

"I do trust you, Sam," Callen said softly. "I just…I don't trust that this is really happening…" He couldn't help but find the gentle rubbing on his back to be very soothing. At one point, he tried to pull out of Sam's arms with a half-hearted effort, thinking he was a pretty poor excuse for a team leader. However, Sam didn't let him go and gradually he found himself feeling safe and more and more powerless to fight against the fatigue that was overtaking him.

Finally, Sam felt his partner's body go limp and his breathing even out and he knew he was asleep. "You've still got that magic touch, Hanna," Sam murmured, lowering his sick and exhausted partner back against the pillows. It was a method he had used with both his children in the past when they were ill or just terribly overtired. It had always worked like a charm. Sam was glad to see that it still did.

He sat and watched over Callen for a few minutes, ensuring that he was sleeping easily before pulling out his cell phone. He wanted to call Hetty and let her know that G had regained consciousness, but he didn't want to take a chance on waking his partner and he refused to leave him alone after promising he'd be there when he awoke. Instead, he settled on sending her a text. He was pretty sure they'd be seeing her soon.

xxxxx

Kensi was curled up on the sofa, staring out the window when Deeks re-entered their hotel suite. "Hey baby," he said, walking over to her and bending down to press a light kiss on her lips. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I had a very lazy day." Kensi smiled as he sat down next to her and she shifted her position so that she was snuggled up next to him.

"Everyone needs a lazy day now and then," he said, returning her smile. "It's good for you, especially after all that's been happening."

"How's Callen?"

"He actually regained consciousness when I was there," Deeks said, putting his arm around Kensi and absently playing with her hair.

"Really? Oh that's wonderful news," Kensi said. "Sam must be really relieved."

"He is," Deeks said, nodding solemnly.

Kensi tilted her head to look up at him and noted the serious look on his face. "You don't look very happy. Is there something you're not telling me?" she asked apprehensively.

"What? No," Deeks quickly shook his head, then shrugged. "It's just…Callen was so emotional…he seemed really scared and… lost I guess is the best way to put it…"

"Well…that's probably only natural," Kensi said. "Look at all he's been through. I'm sure it's going to take time for him to recover."

"Yeah…yeah, I know. I just felt really bad for him. I didn't really even know what to say to him."

"I'm sure just you being there was good for him," Kensi said softly. "It showed him how much you care. That's what Callen needs right now. He just needs us to be there for him, to let him know that we love him and we'll help him through this."

"You're right," said Deeks nodding, but he still looked gloomy.

"Did you eat anything?" Kensi asked, wanting to brighten his mood. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah…yeah I actually could eat," Deeks said. The fullness from their big breakfast had finally worn off. "We could have an early dinner. You want to order room service again?"

Kensi shook her head, her eyes sparkling. "Let's go to the hotel restaurant. "

Deeks raised an eyebrow as he gazed at Kensi who was clad in a white, fluffy hotel robe. "Um…not that I have anything against that look. In fact, I think it's pretty cute, you kind of look like a bunny, but I don't know if it's appropriate for the hotel dining room."

"I'll change," Kensi said. "Unless you'd rather stay here? That's fine too, Deeks. Are you tired?"

"I am tired," Deeks admitted, then smiled, "but not too tired to take an elevator down to the restaurant."

"Okay, I'm going to go change," Kensi said as she reached for her crutches.

"I'll help you," Deeks said as he started to get up.

Kensi put her hand on his chest, stopping him. "You stay here," she said. "I'll call you if I need you."

"Okay," Deeks watched her leave then leaned his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes. He felt like he could sleep for a week.

xxxxx

Hetty quietly made her way into Callen's room in the ICU. She stood by Callen's bedside and just watched him, sleeping quietly, his breathing soft and easy. It did her heart good to see her boy asleep without being on the ventilator. He looked much more peaceful this way. After a few minutes, she stepped away from the bed and gave Sam a faint smile as she sat down in the chair by him "So, how is he doing, Sam?" she whispered, not wanting to wake Callen.

Sam glanced at his partner, ensuring he was still asleep before leaning down towards Hetty, clasping his hands in front of him. "He's a mess, Hetty," Sam said quietly. "He doesn't really even know what's reality and what's not. I'm trying to help him, but I don't even know how."

"If anyone can help him, it's you, Sam," Hetty said, as she reached for Sam's clasped hands and gently patted them. "Everyone has deep seated fears that can greatly affect them."

"Yeah, well this one I can relate to as you know," Sam admitted. It was nothing he liked to think about, but he realized he might have to revisit that experience in order to help Callen. Although their experiences were entirely different, there were enough similarities for him to have a good frame of reference to what Callen could be going through. "It's hard to even put into words how something like that can make you feel. It's nothing that I'll ever be able to forget."

"He's very lucky to have you in his corner," Hetty said softly.

"You know what he means to me, Hetty," Sam said. "I'd do anything to protect him and keep him safe."

They both turned their heads towards Callen's bed when he stirred and moaned softly, shifting about on the bed before he opened his eyes and focused his eyes first on Sam. "Guess you were right," he said, a trace of a smile on his lips. "Still here."

Sam grasped his friend's hand and squeezed it firmly before letting it go. "I hope you know you can always trust me, buddy."

Callen nodded then turned his gaze towards Hetty who had gotten up and walked over to him. "Good to see you, Hetty," he said, his eyes filled with emotion. "Wasn't sure I'd ever get that chance again."

"I'm very glad to have you back, Grisha," she said softly. "I can't begin to express how worried we were about you and how happy we are that you are on the road to recovery."

At that moment, a young nurse's aide came into the room carrying a tray with a covered plate on it. She gave the group a shy smile as she placed it on Callen's bedside table and then left without a word. "Guess this is your dinner, G," Sam said as he removed the domed cover from the plate to peer at the contents underneath. "Well…not really much of a dinner, but I guess you've got to start somewhere."

Callen looked at the tray and found the contents to be unappealing. There was broth, orange gelatin, tea and ginger ale, none of which interested him. "I'm not really hungry anyway," he said. He pretty much felt like crap. Food was the last thing on his mind.

Hetty and Sam exchanged a concerned look. "You've got to start eating, G," Sam said, shaking his head. "You're not going to regain your strength and get better if you don't. Then you'll never get out of this place."

Callen remained silent, not really up to debating the issue.

"If you are too weak to feed yourself, Mr. Callen," Hetty began as she picked up the spoon and held it towards the broth, "I would be more than happy to feed you."

"I can feed myself, Hetty," Callen said, glaring at her as he took the spoon out of her hand. He proceeded to dip it into the broth and then swallowed a spoonful of the liquid. "It doesn't even taste like anything," he grumbled, taking a second spoonful.

"You'll be back on regular food before you know it," Hetty said, satisfied that he was at least attempting to help himself. "Every journey begins with one small step." She glanced over at Sam who was attempting to hold back a smile and then she returned to her seat, feeling very satisfied as her boy continued to eat.

xxxxx

Granger sat at the hotel bar, slowly nursing a beer. He had decided to get a quiet drink before going to the hospital. Henrietta had let him know that Callen was awake and he wanted to see if he could provide any useful information, perhaps about where his assailants were headed. He tilted back his head, draining the last bit of beer from the mug and was about to stand up to leave when his cell phone rang. "Granger," he said as he pressed the answer button and held the phone to his ear. "Really?" he smiled into the phone. "I want him transferred here to a local police precinct. Notify me when he'll be here and where he'll be. Thank you." He smiled again and slipped the cell phone into the pocket of his jacked as he stood up. Agent Anderson had been arrested. They had finally caught a break.


	26. Chapter 26

_Thanks as always for reading and for reviewing._ _:)_ _Can't wait for the premiere tonight! Hope everyone who can watch enjoys it_ _:)_

xxxxx

Callen dutifully sipped the broth, ate the gelatin, drank half of the ginger ale and then dropped off to sleep without really saying much. "He still has a long way to go," Sam said softly, as he watched the steady rise and fall of Callen's chest.

"At least he's starting his uphill climb now," Hetty stated. "I know his progress seems slow, but when you really think about all he's gone through, it's quite remarkable that he's here at all, Mr. Hanna. And you are probably the biggest reason why he is doing as well as he is."

Sam shook his head as he wearily leaned back in the reclining chair. "Not really, Hetty. I admit I was able to help him medically somewhat after the plane crash, but I haven't been able to do much for him since."

"I beg to differ," Hetty said. "You just being there for him, talking to him, listening to him…those may be the most important things you can do for him."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared. Sam and Hetty both looked towards the doorway where Granger had poked his head in. "Am I interrupting?" he asked.

Sam's first instinct was to say yes he was interrupting, but instead he made a move to get up and offer his seat to Granger. Hetty quickly reached for his arm to stop him. "I'll leave, Sam. It's getting rather late anyway. Tell him I'll be back to see him tomorrow. I think perhaps I may actually be able to eat and sleep tonight," she said. She was quite exhausted, but now was finally allowing herself to believe that her boy was going to survive. Just seeing him able to eat a tiny bit had made a world of difference to Hetty and gave her great peace of mind.

She patted Sam's arm and then started to walk out of the room, pausing at the doorway to speak to the assistant director. "Go easy on them, Owen, both of them," she said quietly. "Or you'll have me to deal with." She then left the room and headed down the hallway towards the elevator.

"She's like a ferocious little dog with a bone," Granger said as he took over the chair Hetty had just abandoned.

"I wouldn't let Hetty hear you call her that if I were you," Sam said.

"How's your partner?" Granger asked, glancing over in Callen's direction before looking back at Sam.

Sam shrugged. "He's been through hell and he's still in the ICU. He needs time to recover."

"Well…he's been through tough fights before," Granger commented. "I have a good feeling he'll get through this one also."

Sam nodded.

"You know, Hanna…I could sit with him tonight, if you'd like," Granger offered. "Might be good for you to go back to the hotel and get a good night's sleep."

Sam had to admit it was tempting, but all it took was one look at his partner and he just couldn't do it, not yet. "Thanks," he said, "but I'd rather not leave him."

Granger couldn't help but be a little bit exasperated. "He'll be fine. We won't let anything go wrong this time."

"It's not that...," Sam said. "I just want to be here, if he needs me…" He somehow didn't think that Granger would be very comforting if Callen experienced a nightmare and woke up in a panic. It's not like Callen and Granger were best buddies. Nor did he think Granger's gruff manner would make Callen feel better.

Granger shook his head. "Fine. It's your call. Let me know if you change your mind."

"Thank you," Sam said quietly. He knew he wouldn't change his mind, but it had still been nice of Granger to offer. He was tired and looked forward to Callen being released from the ICU. He was pretty sure Hetty would arrange it so that when that happened, Sam would have a bed to sleep in.

They were silent for a few moments before Granger spoke again. "So…Anderson has been arrested…"

Sam's tiredness immediately vanished and he went into high alert mode. "Really? Is he here in Seattle? Have you talked to him?" His voice had gone up and Callen began to stir. Sam froze as he watched Callen settle back into sleep. He then looked back at Granger.

"He's being flown into Seattle tomorrow," Granger said quietly. "He's being brought to a local precinct. I thought you might like to be there when I interrogate him."

Sam was even more tempted by this offer. "I guess I'll have to let you know tomorrow…" If it happened to be around the time Kensi and Deeks came to visit his partner, and if Callen was doing well, he would consider it. It wasn't a decision he could make right then, however.

"Come on, Sam," Granger said. "I know you want to be there. Babying your partner won't help him."

Sam quickly looked in Callen's direction and saw that thankfully he still appeared to be peacefully asleep. "Don't talk about him like that," he whispered fiercely. "He's gone through a stabbing, a plane crash, almost dying, then being abducted and left alone in that mine to die. Until you've been through the kind of hell he's been through, don't presume to think you know anything about it and don't you dare tell me how to treat him. "

Granger stared back at Sam and slowly nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry." He himself had been through plenty of his own hellish situations in the past, but he had to admit that Sam was right. He had no right to presume he knew what Callen was going through. He had just never had anyone have his back the way Sam had Callen's.

At that point, Callen stirred again, grimacing and placing his hand over the right side of his abdomen as he evidently moved the wrong way. His eyes opened and he groggily looked at Sam. "How long have I been asleep?" he asked him.

"Not too long," Sam replied. "Maybe about an hour give or take."

"Time sure drags in this place," Callen said with a sigh. His eyes turned toward the other chair, expecting to see Hetty, but he was surprised to see the assistant director in her place. "Oh…I thought you were Hetty."

Granger raised his eyebrows. "I've got to say, that's the first time anyone has ever mistaken me for Henrietta."

"Probably the last time too," Sam said with a slight chuckle before addressing his partner. "She went back to the hotel, G. She said to tell you she'd see you tomorrow."

Callen nodded before once again reaching for his side. "Your ribs bothering you?" Sam asked, looking at his friend with concern.

"Nothing I can't handle," Callen answered vaguely.

Sam shook his head. "You shouldn't have to handle it. You've got enough to deal with. They ought to be keeping you ahead of the pain."

"I can't spend my whole life being drugged out of my mind either," Callen said.

Sam gave his partner an amused look. "Really? That's what you're worrying about? You've only been conscious for a few hours. I don't think you need to be worrying about that just yet."

Callen shrugged. "It's fine, Sam."

"No…it's really not."

Callen closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable then found himself starting to shiver. Sam noticed his partner seemed off and his eyes went to the monitor which showed his temperature had risen to 101.2. "G?"

At that moment, Dr. Hathaway walked into the cubicle followed by a nurse. "Could you two gentlemen leave us alone for a few minutes?" he asked.

"We'll be right back," Sam said, giving his partner a reassuring smile although his eyes were concerned.

Callen nodded, watching as they left the cubicle and then turned his eyes toward the doctor.

"How are you feeling, Mr. Callen?" Dr. Hathaway asked as his gaze scanned over the various monitor readings and he made some notations on his chart. "Not so good, I take it?"

"Not great," Callen admitted.

"Well I've gotten some results back on your wound cultures which were taken before you were abducted from the hospital. The antibiotic I have you on covers some, but not all of the organisms so I'm going to change it. You're running a bit of a fever, but that's not uncommon later in the day. Now for some good news, there's no longer any evidence of blood in your urine and your kidney function tests have been normal so I think we dodged a bullet there. "

Callen just nodded silently.

"Are you following all of this?" Dr. Hathaway asked.

"Yes…that is good news."

"Okay…on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, what would you currently grade your pain?" the doctor asked.

Callen sighed. "I don't know, maybe an 8."

"I'm going to up your pain medicine. I don't want you having to fight just to be comfortable." He scribbled some more on the chart. Now do you have any questions? Anything you need?"

"How long do you think I'll be in here?" Callen asked.

Dr. Hathaway smiled. "I'm assuming you must be asking about the ICU and not about the hospital. We'll see where you are tomorrow." He could see that his patient looked discouraged. "You've been through a lot, Mr. Callen. It's going to take some time to recover, even after you're out of the hospital. I know that's not what you want to hear, but with all you went through, you're actually doing very well."

"Okay," Callen said softly.

"How did you do with the clear liquids earlier? Have you experienced any nausea?"

"No," Callen said, shaking his head.

"Okay, I'm going to start you back on regular food tomorrow and we'll see how that goes. I'll have a menu sent in so you can make your choices for the day. That should help you start to get your strength back. Pick whatever you feel you're able to tolerate. I'm not giving you any restrictions. If you'd like to have people bring you in food from outside that's fine too. My main objective is to get you back eating again."

"What about the catheter?" Callen asked.

"I'm going to leave that in at least until tomorrow," the doctor said as Callen just nodded. "Anything else?"

"Could I have another blanket?"

"That's an easy one," Dr. Hathaway said with a smile. "Is that it?"

"Yes, I'm good," Callen said, nodding.

"Okay, hang in there, Mr. Callen. I believe things are going to look brighter to you tomorrow. Get some rest."

"Thanks," Callen said, allowing his eyes to close as the doctor and nurse left the room. He opened them again when he heard Sam and Granger return and then the nurse came back in, carrying a blanket which she gently covered him with.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" the nurse asked, smiling at him.

Callen shook his head. "No. Thanks for the blanket."

"You're welcome," she said, then left the room.

"You doing okay, G?" Sam placed his hand on his partner's shoulder, looking down at him worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm alright, Sam. The doctor's going to change my antibiotic. He said there's no more blood in my urine and I can start back on regular food tomorrow."

"Yeah? That's really good to hear," Sam smiled, relieved as he patted Callen's shoulder before he removed his hand and then sat back down on the reclining chair.

"You up for a few questions, Agent Callen?" Granger asked, his tone all business.

As much as he just wanted to go back to sleep, Callen nodded, knowing he had to do it sooner or later. He just didn't think he was going to be able to give Granger any useful information. "Yeah sure," he said quietly. He willed himself to relax and just take a deep breath before beginning. His goal was to keep to the facts and let his emotions in as little as possible.

Sam felt himself tensing with anticipation of the interaction. He knew how Granger could be sometimes and he was ready to stop things from getting out of hand if necessary.

"Why don't you start with the first thing you remember after you were taken from the hospital."

"I didn't wake up until I was already inside the mine. I guess they drugged me up pretty good," Callen began. "I was alone. There was total darkness and my hands and feet were tied…then they came…Page, his brother, Robert and his niece, Alyssa…"

"Go on," Granger encouraged gently.

"Page was acting pretty crazy. He told me the story of his other brother and his wife, how I had shot him. He blamed me for his brother's life being ruined and ultimately for his death. He used me for a punching bag and kicked me around to embellish his story. At one point, he walked away and I got a chance to talk to Alyssa, gave her Sam's number, tried to convince her to call him. I didn't really think it worked."

"But it did work," Sam grasped his partner's hand and squeezed it gently. "You did good, G."

Callen returned Sam's smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "He…he enjoyed taunting me…said how I would suffer alone in the dark…even took a picture of me to send to Sam…" He turned toward his partner and they shared a long look. "Then basically he blew up the entrance and here we are." He heaved a long sigh, happy to have gotten through the story without getting emotional.

"He never gave you any clue as to where they might be going?" Granger asked.

Callen shook his head. "No…no I'm sorry, he never said anything about that."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Granger said. "Not your fault he didn't say anything." It was obvious to him that Callen was exhausted so he decided it was best not to question him further. "Sam, I'm going to be leaving soon. Before I go, why don't you go get yourself something to eat?"

Sam shook his head. "That's okay."

"It really wasn't a request, Agent Hanna," Granger said. "You need to eat."

"He's right, Sam," Callen chimed in. "You must be hungry."

Sam looked at his partner and nodded. "Alright. I'll go get something. Be back in a few."

"Do you have any idea how much he cares about you?" Granger asked Callen after Sam had left the room.

Callen nodded slowly. "Yes…I think I do. I feel the same way about him."

"The two of you have quite a partnership," Granger said, looking a little bit wistful. "Never take that for granted…"

"I won't…"

"Get some sleep, Agent Callen," Granger said, noting how Callen could barely keep his eyes open. "Your partner will be back soon…" He watched as Callen finally succumbed to the sleep his body had been craving, then settled back in his chair to wait for Sam's return.

xxxxx

Another night spent in a cabin at a campsite. Alyssa was getting tired of it, tired of driving all day, just tired of all of it. She almost felt like turning herself over to the police just to be done with it. Almost…she wasn't quite there yet.

"Alyssa? My phone is dead and the charger is out in the car. Can I borrow yours for a minute?"

She froze. She had kept meaning to tell her uncle that she had lost her phone, but every time she had tried, the words had died on her lips. "I… well Uncle Jonathan… I actually lost it…"

"What?" He looked at Alyssa angrily. "When did you lose it? Why didn't you say anything about it?"

Alyssa shrugged. "I guess I didn't want to bother you with it. I figured you had enough to worry about."

"Where did you lose it?" he asked. He found his suspicions were rising, but he was trying hard not to give in to those thoughts. This was his beloved niece. She would never betray him.

"Uh…I'm not sure really."

"Well, when's the last time you used it?"

"Uh…I don't really know…" She stared down at the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes. It confirmed to him that something was up, although he had no idea what it could be.

He turned to his brother who was listening to the conversation silently as usual. "So…I'm thinking I want to start heading back to the mine tomorrow…"

Robert gave him an alarmed look. "Why would you do that?" he asked. "Shouldn't we stay away from there?"

"I just want to check things out…make sure Agent Callen is truly dead and then I will use my contacts to get us out of the country.

"Uncle Jonathan, why do we need to do that?" Alyssa asked, trying hard to hide her panic. "I don't want to see a dead body. I don't want to go back there."

"Dear, sweet Alyssa," Jonathan said stroking her face. "Why would you see his dead body? If the mine is still all sealed up, it's obvious that Agent Callen is dead, isn't it? I'm just making sure my plan was brought to fruition. Once I see that our friend is firmly encased in his tomb, we'll be off and we'll leave the country, most likely for good."

Alyssa felt her stomach begin to churn as she wondered about the consequences of her phone call to Agent Hanna. It was almost a certainty that he had gone in search of his partner and if that was the case, the mine was no longer sealed. It would be opened up and Agent Callen would be nowhere to be found. She didn't want to think about what her uncle's reaction would be if that was true.


	27. Chapter 27

_As always, thanks to all who are reading and reviewing. (This is just a bit of a transitional chapter)_

 _xxxxx_

 _Once again he was tied up in the darkness. This time it was different though. He could see two pinpoints of light, bright, yellow circles, slowly approaching, gradually getting larger. First the size of dimes and then quarters and then he could see that the circles were not circles at all, but eyes…eyes of the largest spider he had ever seen. Somehow, he wasn't sure how, the spider had a glow to it so that he could witness its approach. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. He had certainly never seen a spider so large. It was over a foot long and covered with hair. He frantically tried to untie himself or to somehow get away but he couldn't budge and he could feel his breathing getting out of control as the spider slowly started crawling up his leg._

 _xxxxx_

Callen's scream of terror awoke Sam who immediately rushed to his partner's side. "G! G, it's alright. It's okay. It was only a dream, buddy. You're safe. "

Callen's breathing was harsh and fast and his whole body was shaking. He could feel Sam holding him and he tried to get himself back in control, but part of him felt like he was still trapped in that mine with the creepy spider from hell.

"Man… you're shaking like a leaf, G. I've got you. Everything's alright now."

Finally, Callen managed to get himself together enough to pull back out of his partner's arms. "Thanks, Sam. I'm okay."

"You want to talk about it?" Sam asked, eyeing Callen closely. He still appeared shaken.

"No," Callen said, quickly shaking his head.

"You sure?"

Callen nodded. "Yeah…yeah, I'm sure. I…I'm going to try to go back to sleep."

Eventually, Callen did manage to fall back asleep, but the result was the same. He again woke up screaming, not once, but twice. At that point he gave up on trying to sleep and Sam, worried about his partner, didn't get any more sleep either. By the time the early morning nurse came by to check his vitals, Callen was exhausted and ill-tempered. Sam was just plain exhausted.

"So…how you doing this morning, G?" Sam asked about 15 minutes after the nurse left the room. He was unable to stand any more of the tense silence between them.

"Fine, you?" Callen's response was automatic, almost robotic, and he didn't even glance in Sam's direction.

"I'm good…maybe a little tired."

"You probably should stay at the hotel tonight. You'll be able to sleep better there," Callen said, being very careful to keep his emotions in check. "There are plenty of body guards here. I'll be perfectly safe."

"That what you want, G?" Sam asked.

Callen just shrugged.

Sam sat there for a few more minutes, inwardly debating the best strategy for dealing with his obviously troubled partner and then decided to try giving him a bit of space. "Okay, G…I'm going to go to the hotel to shower and change and grab some breakfast. You can eat now so anything particular you want me to bring back for you? Donuts maybe?"

Callen stared at Sam, with an unreadable expression in his eyes, before he silently shook his head.

"You okay, G?" Sam asked. "You sure you don't feel like talking?"

"There's nothing to talk about," Callen said quietly.

Sam gave Callen an uncertain look, rethinking his decision to leave. Although Callen was refusing to talk about his nightmares, it was clear from the emotion expressed in his eyes that he was distraught.

"I can stay here…I don't have to leave right now…"

Callen shook his head, staring down at his lap. "Just go, Sam…"

xxxxx

The minute Sam left the room, Callen leaned his head back against his pillows and was no longer able to hold back the tears that started streaming down his face. "God, what the hell is wrong with me?" he whispered. It was just a stupid dark cave and he wasn't even in there anymore. Why couldn't he just let it go and move on? He silently let the tears fall, unchecked, for several minutes before they finally stopped and he just laid there feeling both mentally and physically exhausted. At last, the sleep that he had evaded for most of the night, broke through his defenses and claimed him.

xxxxx

Sam took a big bite of the raspberry danish and swallowed it down followed by a gulp of coffee. He had gone back to his hotel suite and quickly showered and changed. Now, he was seated in the hotel lobby, basically just people watching. He had no idea why he was even eating the danish. It was pure sugar, but it tasted good and the combination of sugar and caffeine would keep him going for a while. Eventually, he knew he'd crash, but hopefully, at that point, he'd be able to get some real sleep.

"Sam?"

He looked up and saw Deeks approaching. "Hey, man," Sam said. "You're up early."

"Yeah, I was going to get some breakfast somewhere for me and Kensi. We figured if we kept ordering room service we'd really be taking advantage of the situation," Deeks said as he sat down in a chair by Sam.

"I hear what you're saying," Sam said, taking another bite of tasty pastry, "although I'm pretty sure Hetty doesn't mind, in light of everything the two of you have gone through."

"What about what you and Callen have gone through?" Deeks replied. "I don't see you staying at the hotel, ordering room service."

"Actually, that sounds pretty good to me right now," Sam admitted.

Deeks finally began to notice that the older agent looked tired and not particularly happy. "Hey…I'm actually surprised to see you here," he said. "Is Callen okay?"

"Physically, I guess he's holding his own," said Sam. "But emotionally?" He shook his head. "I'm not sure how to answer that."

"He's not doing so hot?" Deeks asked. "That's not really surprising though, Sam, is it? After all that's happened?"

Sam shook his head. "No…no it's not surprising. I just wish he'd talk to me about it. It might help him."

"Callen not talking?" Deeks asked. "Come on, Sam…that's not surprising either."

"I hate when he's hurting," Sam stated, "and I hate that I left him there alone, but I thought he needed it."

"Maybe he did," Deeks said. "Everyone needs a little bit of space now and then, even away from the ones you love most."

"Yeah," said Sam, nodding. "Plus I've been thinking about something Granger said yesterday…"

"That can't be good," Deeks said, smirking slightly. "What'd he say?"

"He said that babying Callen isn't going to help him…"

"Oh man," Deeks shook his head. "Don't listen to him, Sam. You know what kind of a lousy upbringing Callen had. He was probably never comforted as a kid. And he was on his own for such a long time. You're probably the best thing that ever happened to the guy. I'd just keep doing what you're doing. You know him better than anyone."

"There's something else too," Sam continued. "Granger said the police picked up Anderson. He's getting flown here today. He wanted me to go with him to interrogate him."

"You're going, aren't you?"

"Yesterday, I told Granger I wasn't sure, that I'd let him know. That's what got him kind of pissed, that I didn't want to leave G. I'm going to get back to the hospital and check on him. Then I'll figure it out."

"Kensi and I are going to go visit him today. If you want, you can let us know what time you'd be going to interrogate Anderson and we can time things accordingly. We'll keep him company while you're gone."

"Yeah?" Sam gave Deeks a grateful look. "Thank you, Deeks. I have to admit, I'd feel better if you did that." He took a napkin and wiped away the stickiness around his mouth. "Damn…that danish was good. I'm going to go get another one for G before I head back to the hospital. You might want to get your breakfast at this place. Coffee's good as well."

"They letting Callen eat?" Deeks asked and Sam nodded.

"Okay, I'll walk over there with you," Deeks said, as the two men got to their feet and headed to the coffee shop.

xxxxx

The first thing Sam noted when he returned to the ICU was the absence of a guard outside the unit. Immediately his heart started pounding. When he entered the unit and a nurse was there to greet him, he licked his lips and waited with a feeling of dread for her to deliver the bad news. Then she smiled. "Good morning, Mr. Hanna. Your friend was transferred to a regular room. He's on the medical floor, room 419 in the blue wing."

"Thank you," Sam stated as he turned and quickly left the unit. All he could think of was G's previous transfer gone bad. He couldn't believe he had left him. This was his punishment for having been so stupid. When he got off the elevator on the fourth floor, he was immediately greeted by Agent Bill Campbell.

"Hey Sam, how's it going?" the agent asked him.

"Hi, Bill," Sam replied. "I'm good. Everything okay over here?"

Bill nodded. "Everything's quiet. Not much to this assignment. Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, that's good to hear," Sam replied. "I'll see you later." He headed down the hall and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Agents Janice Bates and Paul Fredericks stationed outside room 419. "Hi guys. Everything good?"

Janice nodded with a friendly hello and a smile as Paul replied. "No problems at all so far, Sam."

"Thanks, guys." Sam knocked on Callen's door and opened it when he heard the faint voice from inside telling him to come in. He walked into the room and found his partner sitting up in bed, his back against a couple of pillows with the television on. "Hey, G."

"Hi Sam," Callen said, giving Sam a half smile.

"You gave me a bit of a scare when I went to the ICU and you weren't there," Sam said.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Callen replied. "Dr. Hathaway did his rounds early and sprung me from there. Got rid of the catheter too. I've even got a window," he nodded at the window where the blinds had been pulled up in order to allow the sunlight to stream in.

"Glad to see you're doing better," Sam smiled as he took a seat on the identical reclining chair to the one he'd been practically living on in the ICU. He looked around the room, noting how bare it looked. Even though Callen was a minimalist, he didn't think it would hurt to have a few things there to brighten up the room and possibly his partner's spirits as well. He tossed the brown paper bag with the danish in it onto Callen's bed. "I know you said you didn't want anything, but these things are damn good."

Callen opened the bag and removed the pastry, then immediately took a bite. "Mmm…thanks," he said after he had swallowed. "It is damn good, but how would you know?"

Sam grinned. "I ate one."

Callen smirked, his blue eyes widening. "Really, Sam? You ate one of these sugar and calorie laden pastries?"

"Every crumb, G," Sam said. "And you know I don't lie."

"Wow…I'm impressed."

Callen continued to munch on the danish and Sam watched him out of the corner of his eye. His partner seemed to be doing much better than earlier and Sam was grateful for that. He waited for Callen to finish up and then looked at him, his eyes serious. "So…I need to tell you something," he began.

"What?" Callen asked, looking back at Sam, a little bit apprehensively.

"Jeff Anderson has been arrested. He's being transferred to a local precinct here in Seattle sometime today."

"Well, that's good, right?" Callen said, unable to help but feel a little bit disappointed. He couldn't help but wish it was Page that had been apprehended. "Are you going to talk to him?"

"I was thinking about it," Sam replied with a nod. "Granger asked if I wanted to accompany him."

"You definitely should go, Sam," Callen said. "Just you being there is bound to scare the guy."

"You mean because I'm so intimidating?" Sam asked with a chuckle.

"Well, Anderson's not exactly a big guy," Callen said. He hadn't really seen much of Anderson but he recalled he had been fairly slight in stature. "So, yeah, I think you'll intimidate him without even trying."

"Oh I'll be trying," Sam said, a glint of anger in his eyes.

Callen nodded solemnly. "I know you will be," he stated. "Just make sure you don't get yourself into trouble."

"Don't worry about me, G," Sam replied. "I'll be a perfect little angel."


	28. Chapter 28

_Lots of apologies here. First of all, I'm pretty sure there was a screw up in terms of thanking people for reviews for the last chapter. For some reason, they did not show up in my email and I have no idea if I thanked you or not. If I missed you, I'm really sorry. Also, sorry about the long delay between chapters. I was away on vacation last week and thought I'd have a chance to post a chapter beforehand, but it never happened. I had a note about it on my Facebook page, but I don't think many of you saw it. Also, cases, interrogations and the like are not my strong point so please forgive any errors or inconsistencies in this chapter. I think that's all lol. Thank you for reading_ :)

xxxxx

"Just take it slowly, Mr. Callen," Ethan, the sandy-haired physical therapist said, his hand on the small of Callen's back, supporting him as he slowly walked down the hall. A nurse's aide was trailing behind the men, pushing a wheelchair. "You're doing great."

Callen didn't feel like he was doing great. His legs were starting to feel shaky and his breathing was becoming heavier. He was determined to walk as far as he could though, in an effort to get out of the hospital as soon as possible.

"That's far enough, Mr. Callen," Ethan stated.

"Just a little bit further," Callen said breathlessly, but he was hit by a wave of dizziness and Ethan quickly maneuvered him into the wheelchair before he fell.

"You've definitely done enough for today," Ethan said as he began to push Callen back towards his room. "I know you don't think so, but you're doing very well. Sepsis takes its toll on one's body. It's going to take some time to get over it."

Frustrated by his limitations, Callen remained silent and a couple of minutes later he was back in his room. Sam's eyes were on his partner as he came back into the room and it was easy to see that he was down in the dumps once again.

"I just want to stay in the chair," Callen said to Ethan who had been about to help him back into his bed.

Ethan nodded. "Okay, but don't try anything crazy and be sure to ask for help if you need to use the bathroom. The last thing you need right now is a fall."

Callen nodded glumly.

"Hey, G, you okay?" Sam asked after Ethan and the aide had left the room.

"I'm fine," Callen said, schooling his features so that he was expressionless. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know…you tell me."

"There's nothing to tell, Sam," Callen replied, glancing at his partner, but then quickly looking away.

"It's just…you looked a lot happier when you left the room than when you came back," Sam stated.

"Maybe that's because I left the room on my own two feet and you see how I came back in," Callen responded, slamming his hands on the armrests of the wheelchair.

Sam shook his head, unsure of how to deal with his short-tempered and irritable partner. His mood was going up and down like a yo-yo. It seemed like the smallest things were able to set him off. "Come on, G...you need to be patient. You're not giving yourself any time at all to recover."

"I'm just…I'm just tired of all of this…," Callen heaved a sigh and then turned towards his partner, clearly miserable. "I want to go home."

"I know you do," said Sam, his eyes sympathetic. "Hopefully, you'll be able to really soon."

"Not soon enough," Callen murmured.

Sam looked at Callen, unsure if he dared to broach the next topic of conversation, but he finally decided to take the risk. "You think maybe you should talk to someone about all that you're feeling?" he asked quietly. "You've gone through a lot…"

Callen glared at his partner. "No. I'm fine, Sam."

"No, you're not," Sam gently contradicted him.

"Can you please drop this?" Callen pleaded. "I really don't want to talk about it right now."

"When will you want to talk about it?" Sam asked.

"Maybe never," Callen mumbled.

"The feelings won't just go away," Sam said. "They didn't for me…"

"It…it's not the same thing," Callen said, his eyes beginning to fill in spite of his efforts to keep his emotions at bay. "You…you watched a friend die. It was much worse for you. I…I was alone…It just isn't the same…No big deal. I'll get over it."

"Come on, G…You can't rate whose experience was worse. You feel the way you feel…"

"I said I was fine."

Sam was about to say again that Callen wasn't fine, but realized they were just going around in circles. He really wasn't accomplishing anything except further aggravating his partner so he decided to drop it for the time being. "Granger called when you were taking your walk," he said, changing the subject. "Anderson is going to be here in about an hour so I'll be heading out in a bit."

Callen nodded. "Okay…that's good. Maybe you'll find out something."

"Deeks and Kensi will be here to see you soon."

"Why? Because you think I need a babysitter?" Callen snapped.

"No, because they're worried about you and they want to see you," Sam said, keeping his tone calm and even. He handed his cell phone to his partner. "If you don't want them here, feel free to call them and tell them not to come."

"I…" Callen slowly turned the cell phone around in his hands and then handed it back to Sam. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "Of course I want them to come. I…I don't know why I'm acting this way…" He knew he was acting irrationally and not at all like himself. He just couldn't seem to help it.

Sam gently patted Callen's shoulder. "It's doesn't help that you didn't sleep much last night. Why don't you try to get in a nap before they get here?"

Callen nodded in agreement. "Yeah, okay." He allowed Sam to help him into bed and it didn't take long for him to fall asleep. Sam watched over him for a short time and then headed off to meet up with Granger and Anderson.

xxxxx

Alyssa was trying very hard to keep her panic contained as her uncle drove closer and closer to the Whitebark Mine. She had so many regrets about what had happened, the biggest being that she had allowed herself to get involved in the first place. She wished she had never listened to Uncle Jonathan and she was dreading what would happen if the mine's entrance was open when they got there. Oh who was she kidding? Of course, the entrance would be open. She couldn't imagine that Agent Hanna wouldn't have pursued the lead she had given him. She had no doubt that he had gone to the mine and the entrance would be open.

Finally, they arrived back at the mine. Alyssa stared out the car window, a knot which felt like a watermelon in her stomach, as she viewed the clearly open entrance to the mine. "Get out of the car, Alyssa," Jonathan said, his voice syrupy sweet as he spoke.

Alyssa opened her mouth, wanting to deny his request, but she was too frightened to speak. Her whole body trembling, she decided to do as he requested, not wanting to make him any angrier than he already was.

"Look at the mine, Alyssa," Jonathan said when the three family members had exited the car. "Agent Callen must have been very strong to have dug his way through all those rocks, don't you think? He must have chisels for fingers."

She couldn't look at him, couldn't speak, couldn't do a thing except stare at the mine. She didn't think she had ever been so scared.

"I asked you a question," Jonathan said, his tone becoming menacing. "How do you think Agent Callen escaped his tomb?"

"I…I really couldn't say," she replied tremulously after a long silence.

"Oh I think you could say, Alyssa. I think you know EXACTLY how Agent Callen escaped!" Unexpectedly, Jonathan hit her violently in the face, causing her to stumble then fall to the ground, her eyes immediately filling with tears. He had never hit her before. No one had ever hit her before.

"I…I'm sorry," she said, her voice shaking. "I'm sorry."

"You have betrayed both me and your father…the ultimate betrayal," Jonathan shook his head as he spoke, his eyes furious. "How do you think I should punish you for this? Maybe I should drag you in there and tie you up, leaving you to take Agent Callen's place in the tomb?"

Alyssa shook her head, tears streaming down her face as she looked at him in terror. "No…please….I…I'm sorry….I'm so sorry, Uncle Jonathan. I…I'll make it up to you. I will, please don't do that. Please…"

"You better hope I get him back here," Jonathan threatened. "Because if I don't…" He would lure Agent Callen back to the mine and this time there would be no fuck ups. He'd kill him slowly and painfully and then leave his body in there to rot. This time he'd make sure no one would come to his rescue and he'd avenge his brother's death once and for all.

xxxxx

"I hope Callen's doing better," Deeks said. He was carefully carrying two plastic bags of burgers, fries and shakes from Red Robin. He wished he had rethought the shakes. He hadn't been able to carry a tray with one arm in a sling and Kensi had refused the wheelchair in favor of crutches, so she was unable to help him. He hoped one bag wouldn't be filled with chocolate and vanilla goo when they reached their team leader's room.

"I think we'll cheer him up," Kensi said, smiling. She had stopped in the hospital gift shop and gotten a get well bundle of balloons for Callen, the strings of which were tied around her left wrist.

Deeks hoped she was right. He knew that Callen hadn't had a good night.

"Here we are," Kensi said, stopping outside of room 419. She softly knocked on the door but when there was no answer she opened it. They entered the room and found Callen murmuring fretfully as he thrashed about under the covers.

"Damn," Deek said softly as he put the two bags down on the rolling tray table and approached Callen's bedside. "Hey, Callen? Come on man, wake up." Callen remained caught up in the nightmare, not responding to Deeks' voice. Deeks tried again speaking louder and placing his hand on Callen's shoulder. "Come on, Callen. It's just a dream. Wake up."

Callen finally reacted to Deeks and slowly opened his eyes, looking confused for a few moments before he started to orient himself to his surroundings. "Hey," he said as he slowly got himself up into a seated position.

"Are you okay?" Deeks asked, looking at the other man with concern.

Callen nodded. "Yeah…yeah I'm good." He looked around the room, in search of his partner. "Where's Sam?"

Deeks and Kensi exchanged a quick look before Deeks answered him. "He went to meet Granger and Anderson, remember?"

Callen nodded again, looking a little bit lost. "Oh yeah…guess I forgot…"

Kensi nibbled on her lip, her eyes on Callen. This wasn't going at all how she had envisioned it. "It's really good to see you," she said as she leaned her crutches against the guard rails of Callen's bed and leaned down to give him a gentle hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Kens…" he replied, allowing himself to relax in her embrace and return the gesture. He then released his grasp and looked up at her. "How are you? Are you doing okay?"

She smiled as she settled herself into the chair closest to him. "I'm good. Getting better every day."

He nodded. "That's good to hear…" He then turned his attention to Deeks. "How's your shoulder?"

"Fine," Deeks answered. "I'll probably be getting rid of this sling soon."

"Great…" Callen managed to smile as his eyes traveled upward to the balloons which were up against the ceiling. "I take it those are for me?" he asked.

"Of course," Kensi said, smiling back at him as she untied them from her wrist. "I think they brighten up your room, nicely, don't you?"

He nodded. "They do. Thanks, guys."

"We also brought lunch," Deeks stated as he opened up the bag that contained the shakes and looked warily inside, then smiled as he saw that the shakes remained inside their containers. "Unless you'd prefer whatever fine cuisine the hospital will be delivering?"

"You're a funny guy, Deeks," Callen said as he accepted the burger and fries which his teammate handed to him.

"What kind of shake do you want?" Deeks asked. "We've got both chocolate and vanilla here."

Callen shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me. You guys pick first."

Kensi was pretty sure Callen preferred chocolate, which she handed to him and then handed a vanilla shake to Deeks, taking the other chocolate one for herself. The three then settled down to have their lunch.

xxxxx

"Just so you know, this is an informal questioning. This conversation is not being recorded and nothing you say here will be used against you. It's basically a fact finding mission. I'd like to know what you can tell me about Jonathan Page," said Granger.

"I want a lawyer," Anderson snarled.

"Of course that's your prerogative, but for now, I would suggest cooperating might help your case. It certainly won't hurt it."

"I didn't even do anything," Anderson stated.

"Well, the hospital video surveillance footage very clearly shows you holding down Agent Callen in the elevator before you and the other assailants abducted him from the hospital, so I'd say you most definitely did do something."

At that moment, the door to the interrogation room opened and Sam entered. He didn't say a word but just walked over to the wall and leaned back against it, his arms crossed over his chest. Anderson looked nervously over at him. "What's he doing here?" he asked. "You didn't mention him being here."

"He's Agent Callen's partner," Granger explained matter-of-factly. "Why wouldn't he be here?"

"I don't want him here," Anderson insisted.

Sam smiled, not moving from his position against the wall. "Why not, Jeffrey?" he asked. "I'm a friendly guy."

Anderson just silently stared back at him as Sam finally took two steps toward the table. "I'm just curious," Sam said, picking up an empty chair and then loudly banging it onto the floor causing Anderson to flinch. "What did G ever do to you? What exactly do you have against him?" He put the chair down directly across from Anderson and sat down.

"I don't…I don't have anything against him," Anderson said.

"Really?" Sam asked. "Hmm…so you took him, why? Was it your idea of fun? Why exactly would you be an accomplice in the assault, kidnapping and attempted murder of a federal agent?"

"I didn't…I never hurt him."

Sam nodded. "But you held him down while he was drugged and assisted in taking him out of the hospital…did you think Page was throwing him a surprise party?" He slammed his hands down on the table. "Obviously he was intent on doing Callen harm!"

"I didn't know…"

"You didn't know?" Sam asked. "Help me out here. Give me some reason to believe you didn't mean for my partner to get killed!"

"I didn't…I just…I needed the money…"

"Ooooh…" Sam smiled and nodded, his demeanor friendly again. "You should have said that to begin with, Jeffrey. Now I understand. So, how much did he give you?"

Anderson shrugged and stared down at the table.

"How much?!" Sam asked, raising his voice.

"Fifty grand," Anderson said.

"Fifty grand?" Sam started to chuckle. "You're a federal agent, Jeffrey. Did you even look into this guy at all? Do you have any idea how much he's worth? Man…you short-changed yourself big time. You could have gotten yourself a hell of a lot more than fifty grand. I hope it was worth it. You must have been pretty desperate to sell out a fellow agent for fifty grand."

Anderson shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Can I have some water?" he asked, nervously licking his lips.

"Are you kidding me?" Sam asked, giving Anderson an incredulous look. "I'm guessing G would have liked some water when he was sealed up in that cave waiting to die, or a blanket or some light…Did you give him any of those things?"

"I didn't know Page was going to do that to him," Anderson protested.

Sam smiled and nodded. "Oh, I see…well then it's all okay, right? I don't recall receiving any phone calls from you afterwards though, letting me know where my partner was. Unless…maybe I missed them?" He stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. "Hmm…no missed calls. I guess you didn't try to call me after all. Did you call Hetty maybe or Granger?" He looked at the assistant director. "Did Jeffrey here try to call you?"

"Alright!" Anderson shouted. "I didn't call anyone. It's not like this fucking plan was my idea though and Callen's okay now, isn't he? Geeze…you act like you're his mother, not his partner."

"You smug, son of a bitch," Sam got up from his chair, went over to Anderson and grabbed him by his shirt collar, pulling him to his feet. "What the hell is wrong with you? You were an accomplice in a major crime against a federal agent and you think it's no big deal? Really? I ought to tear your head off." He shoved Anderson against the wall, getting some satisfaction from the fear he saw in the other man's eyes.

Granger got up from his chair and went over to Sam, gently pulling him away from Anderson. "Let's give him a little room to breathe, Agent Hanna, okay?" Sam nodded and went back to his chair as Granger turned to Anderson. "Don't mind him, he's just a little upset about his partner. Surely you can understand that? Why don't you have a seat?"

"I don't have to put up with this crap," Anderson muttered as he sat back down in the chair. "I have rights."

"Why don't you tell us what you know about Page," Granger suggested. "How did he first get in touch with you?"

"He showed up at the hospital during my first shift of guard duty," Anderson answered. "Offered me ten grand on the spot. I couldn't turn down that kind of dough."

Sam's eyes narrowed angrily but he managed to keep himself composed when he saw the look Granger sent in his direction.

"Ten grand for what?" Granger asked.

"I was supposed to keep him informed of any new developments with Callen's situation and help out in any way necessary. I'd get the rest of the money after Page had snatched Callen."

"So you told him about Callen leaving the ICU," Sam asked. "How'd you even hear that anyway?"

"I had a listening device in his room," Anderson replied.

"So what is Page's cell phone number?" Granger asked.

Anderson shook his head. "It won't do you any good to call that number. He's using burn phones now. There's no way for me to contact him."

"Has he contacted you?" Sam asked in frustration. This was getting them nowhere.

Anderson shook his head. "Nope, he'll contact me if he needs to, but I'm not really expecting him to call. I think this was more of a one-time gig."

"I want the number anyway," Granger said, handing Anderson a pen and a piece of paper. Anderson quickly scribbled down the phone number and passed the paper back to Granger. "Did he ever talk about where he was going when this was all over? Anything at all you can think of to give us a clue of where he might have gone?"

"No, man…he just told us what to do. He was an arrogant prick. He gave orders and we followed them. That's as far as it went."

"How about the others he hired? Any information on them?"

"No. We didn't talk to each other about our personal lives. I don't know anything about them. Are we done?" Anderson asked.

Granger and Sam shared a look, both realizing that Anderson was proving to be a useless source of information. "Yeah, we're done," Granger said.

"So, I cooperated with you, right?" Anderson asked, looking anxiously at Sam and Granger as they stood up and headed for the door. "It's going to help me out, isn't it?"

"It'll help you just as much as you helped us," Sam replied, turning to glare at the turncoat ex-agent before storming out of the room with Granger following directly behind him.

xxxxx

Callen's visit with Deeks and Kensi had turned out better than it had started. They had eaten lunch, chatted and Callen was much more relaxed as the day progressed. After a couple of hours, it was obvious that Callen was more than ready to fall asleep. "Hey man, we're going to go and let you get some rest, okay?" Deeks said. "We'll see you tomorrow?"

Callen nodded. "Thanks guys, for the lunch and the balloons…for everything."

"You're welcome," Kensi said softly as she leaned down and kissed his cheek. "We're just happy to see that you're getting better. You take care of yourself and get some sleep." She hoped it would be a peaceful sleep, without nightmares, but she didn't say that out loud.

"I will…you guys take care too." He watched as they left the room and then settled back down against the pillows, hardly able to keep his eyes open. He was just about to drop off when the phone to his room rang. He tiredly fumbled for the receiver then held it up against his ear. "Hello?"

"Agent Callen! Who would have thought it would be so easy to track you down! You can't possibly imagine my excitement." Jonathan Page's familiar voice bellowed in Callen's ear and he felt his stomach drop.


	29. Chapter 29

_Just thought I'd do a little mid-week update :) I wanted to thank those of you who are still reading and reviewing. Some of you have been incredibly loyal with reviewing and commenting. I can't begin to tell you how much it means so thank you very much._

 _Also, to French fan, yes, lots of places have milkshakes here. McDonald's, Burger King, Arby's and other fast food places all have milkshakes. Also, lots of ice cream places and casual restaurants where you can either eat them inside or take them out to go._

xxxxx

Callen felt his heartbeat quicken as he tried to pull himself together. "What do you want, Page?" he finally asked, grateful that his voice sounded much stronger than he actually felt.

"That's not a very nice way to speak to me, is it?" Page asked, before letting out a chuckle. "After all, you and Alyssa put quite a crimp in my plans. I must say, it really ruined my day."

"Gee…that's a shame. So sorry I escaped your death trap," Callen said.

"Yes, well…there's always next time…"

"There's not going to be a next time," Callen stated.

"Oh that's where you and I differ," Page said. "There most certainly will be a next time. In fact, it's coming quicker than you could possibly guess."

Callen couldn't help the attack of nerves that came over him, wondering what Page had in mind. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your little tomb. It's lonely without you. You need to come back and fulfill your destiny."

"You're crazy if you think I'm going back there," Callen responded.

"Oh you'll be back. If not, then Alyssa will take your place and meet her demise in your so-called 'death trap.'"

"You wouldn't do that," Callen retorted, his tone not reflecting the uncertainty he felt inside at Page's words. "She's your niece. Your brother's daughter…you wouldn't…"

"Oh wouldn't I?" Page chuckled as Callen heard the sound of a loud crack and a woman's sob. "Agent Callen doesn't believe me, Alyssa…He doesn't understand that once someone has betrayed me, they've pretty much burned their bridges behind them. I don't believe in second chances."

"Leave her alone," Callen demanded. "What do you want?"

"I knew you'd come around," Page said and Callen could hear the smug satisfaction in Page's voice. "Like I said, I want you here to fulfill your destiny."

Callen took a deep breath, trying to ward off the start of the panic he knew was coming at just the thought of returning there. "I…I can't get there…" he stated. "Why don't you come here?"

Page began to laugh. "Me go there? You must either think I'm mad or very, very stupid, Agent Callen. I'm not going to the hospital. I know damn right well I can't get at you there. I'd be arrested before I got anywhere near you. You will come here or Alyssa will suffer the consequences." Page spoke slowly and deliberately. "You will come alone. You will come unarmed. You will be here by midnight tonight."

"Tonight? I'm still in the hospital. I can't get there that quickly."

"You're an agent, a resourceful man…I think you will find a way, Agent Callen and if you don't…well one less woman in the world probably won't matter that much now, will it?"

"I'll be there," Callen said quickly. "Don't hurt her."

"Good…very good. Remember, if you don't follow my rules, there will be consequences. I will have men waiting outside to escort you into the mine. If any of your fellow agents are with you, they will be killed and Alyssa will be killed as well. You would be wise to heed what I say. Until tonight…"

The phone clicked off and Callen hung up the receiver. He couldn't remember ever feeling so helpless and hopeless.

xxxxx

"What a waste of time," Sam stated as he and Granger exited the interrogation room. He was frustrated that their questioning hadn't revealed any useful information.

"Yeah, well…we had to try," Granger said. He was also discouraged that Anderson hadn't been helpful to them. "We'll get a lead though…"

"I hope so," said Sam as he glanced down at his watch. "I'm going to go try to find some good Italian food for dinner. G definitely needs to eat more. He's getting positively scrawny." He was relatively certain that Italian would tempt his partner's palate. "Would you like to have dinner with us?"

Granger shook his head, a slight smile on his lips. "I think I'll give your partner a break for today. I wouldn't want to spoil his appetite. I'm going to head back to the hotel and I'll check in on him tomorrow. I'm sorry this didn't turn out better."

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, me too, but I'm hopeful that Page will turn up sometime soon."

"Let's hope you're right. That dirt bag needs to be stopped."

xxxxx

"You're quiet," Deeks said, looking at Kensi curiously. She was sitting on the sofa in their hotel suite, gazing out the window. "You've barely said two words since we got back here."

"I was just thinking about Callen," Kensi said, turning to meet Deeks' gaze. "How does he seem to you?"

Deeks shrugged. "I don't know…not particularly great, but he's in the hospital. Who's really doing great when they're in the hospital?"

"I don't know…" Kensi shook her head slowly. "I can't put my finger on it, but he just seems really off to me, Deeks."

"He probably needs time, Kens…Callen's had a lot to deal with. It's understandable that he's kind of out of it, don't you think?"

"I guess so…" Kensi said with a soft sigh.

"Let's try to think of something we can do for him to cheer him up when we visit him tomorrow," Deeks suggested. "We'll get him feeling better before you know it."

Kensi nodded although she really had no idea what they could do to cheer up their team leader. Their options were somewhat limited.

"In the meantime, what do you want to do for dinner?" Deeks asked. "You feel like going out somewhere?

"No…not really," Kensi replied. She was tired and her ankle was aching. "I was thinking more along the lines of a long hot soak in the tub and then room service? I know we said we were going to cut back on it, but…"

"Sam says we shouldn't worry about it," Deeks said. "And right now, I'm tempted to agree with him. You want me to start the water for you?"

Kensi gave him a grateful nod and a smile. "Yes, please. That sounds perfect."

"Your wish is my command," Deeks said, giving her a quick kiss before going off to start her bath.

xxxxx

Hetty walked through the open doorway of Callen's room and hesitated briefly when she saw him sitting up in bed, looking uncharacteristically distraught. Also of concern was that he didn't even seem to notice her presence until she spoke. "Good afternoon, Mr. Callen. How are you feeling today?"

Callen started slightly when he heard Hetty's voice. He had been so caught up in agonizing over Page's phone call that he had lost touch with his surroundings. "Hi, Hetty," he said softly, trying to smile, but failing miserably.

"Oh, Mr. Callen, surely it's not that bad, is it?" Hetty asked, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Are you feeling worse again?"

Callen shook his head and finally managed to produce the smile that had previously escaped him. "No…Don't mind me, Hetty," he said. "Just feeling sorry for myself, I guess. I'm fine. How are you?"

"Well, if anyone has a right to feel sorry for himself, I would think it would be you," Hetty said. "However, I've brought you something that might just cheer you up a bit."

"Yeah?" Callen asked, trying to feign interest in whatever it was Hetty had brought him. He accepted the bag she handed him, looked inside and was actually pleased when he pulled out the tablet. "Thank you, Hetty, but you shouldn't have bought this."

"Compliments of NCIS actually," Hetty said smiling. "Owen approved it."

"Really?" Callen asked, somewhat surprised to hear that. "Well…that was nice of him."

"The hospital has wireless Internet access. Perhaps this will make the hours pass a bit more quickly for you."

"I'm sure it will," Callen said, nodding. The tablet actually would solve one problem for him, the location of the mine. He had no clue where it was or how far away. Although the mine's location was only part of the problem. He had no idea how he was going to get there. He had no clothes, no money, no credit cards…

"So…I was thinking…I'm going to need some clothes when I get out of this place…"

"Is the doctor thinking of releasing you already?" Hetty asked. She was surprised to hear it and not sure that she agreed with it. She didn't want him pushing himself too hard and too quickly. He needed to pace his recovery. Once he was released from the hospital, it would be much more difficult to monitor him, although she was relatively sure that Sam would keep tabs on him.

Callen shook his head and absently fiddled with the blankets covering him. "No…he hasn't said anything…maybe just wishful thinking on my part…"

"Oh, I see," Hetty said, nodding her head as she turned her attention to his nightstand and opened the cabinet on the bottom, then pulled out a white plastic bag. "I brought you and your teammates each one of these bags the night Owen and I arrived after you were first admitted. It has some clothes and things for you, so you should be all set when you're ready to leave the hospital."

"Thanks, Hetty…you think of everything," Callen said. He felt guilty that he was deceiving her, but that was another problem solved. There were still a number of other obstacles he needed to try to figure out though and he honestly was having his doubts that he would be able to do so, on his own. If he was physically okay it would have been difficult enough, but he wasn't and the task seemed insurmountable to him at the moment.

They chatted for a little while although Hetty could see that he was very distracted and his thoughts were elsewhere. She was curious as to what was troubling him, but decided not to pry, hoping that he would open up to Sam. Finally, she decided to take her leave. She had spoken to Sam earlier and knew that he was planning to bring Callen dinner and would be there soon. "I'm going to head back to the hotel now, Grisha," Hetty said, giving him an affectionate smile as she patted his hand. "You rest well, my boy, and I will see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Hetty," Callen said, his voice breaking slightly as he watched her leave the room. He was struck by a flood of emotions and quickly blinked his eyes against sudden threatening tears. He knew there was a very good possibility that he would never see her again. He would have wished nothing more than to just unburden the whole story to her, tell her and Granger everything and let them try to come up with a plan while he just rested and recovered. It just wasn't in the cards though. He had never been that person. He felt responsible for Alyssa. She had risked her life to save him. Now he had to return the favor, no matter what the consequences might be.


	30. Chapter 30

_Thanks so much for all the super nice reviews for the last chapter. You're all great and I really appreciate it_ _:)_

xxxxx

"Oh stop looking so scared Alyssa," Jonathan said. He was obviously irritated as he glared at his niece who was cowering on the ground, backed up against the wall of the cave. "I barely touched you. I'm beginning to think I should have whacked you around when you were growing up. You're much too soft."

Alyssa said nothing. She just sat huddled as small as she could make herself, with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She just hoped Agent Callen was going to come. She wasn't happy that he was likely going to be killed, but she wasn't brave enough that she wasn't willing for him to trade his life for hers.

"Boo!" Jonathan laughed as Alyssa jumped. "Don't worry, my darling niece. I'm sure that the dashing Agent Callen will come to your rescue. In any case, I'm not planning to kill you. I have a new and exciting career opportunity chosen especially for you."

"Wh…what kind of opportunity?" she asked nervously.

As soon as I've disposed of Callen, you, your uncle Robert and I are going to meet up with some contacts of mine and then we'll be flying to South America. I've secured some property down there and a lovely home to live in. Of course, I'll be needing a household staff. You will be my head maid."

"Your maid?" Alyssa's eyes widened as she learned of this new fate in store for her. "But…I went to school to become a journalist…I…I can't be a maid."

"Oh you can and will be a maid, Alyssa," Jonathan said, his eyes darkening dangerously. "You will be a maid until I say differently. It will give you something to write about. When I've felt that you have learned your lesson, you will be able to pursue your journalistic endeavors, but only after I've given you permission to do so. In the meantime, being a maid will give you something new and different to write about."

Alyssa knew better than to contradict him. She wondered if he had always been this way and she hadn't noticed it before or maybe her father's death had just pushed him over the edge. In any case, she now knew he was a very evil man.

xxxxx

After Hetty left him, Callen took a few minutes to rest and try to get some semblance of a plan. He couldn't seem to come up with anything though. He knew that his only way of getting to the mine would be to steal a vehicle. It was something that would have come easily to him under usual circumstances, but now? The whole concept of leaving the hospital and scouring the parking lot to find a suitable vehicle was totally overwhelming. With a heavy sigh, he opened the box containing the tablet and plugged the charger into the wall socket, then set to work googling the location of the mine. It didn't take him long to do that and he discovered it would be about a 45 minute drive. He desperately hoped that once he got outside, adrenaline would kick in and give him some badly needed energy. At the moment, he was fatigued, his eyes were heavy and it was all he could do not to fall asleep.

Eventually, he reached down to retrieve the plastic bag Hetty had put back at the bottom of the nightstand. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt, underwear, socks and a pair of sneakers which he placed on the bed. He just sat there staring at them for a few minutes, then began to slowly dress himself. This, in itself, turned into quite a chore for him. The pain, which had been kept relatively at bay when he was lying quietly in bed, reared its ugly head and attacked him with a vengeance. "Dammit," he hissed sharply when he made a twisting motion which caused the pain from his broken ribs to flare up. He finally managed to get himself dressed, but the undertaking had practically done him in. He was sweating, shaky and very weak. At that moment, he finally accepted that there was no way he would be able to accomplish this alone. Even if he was able to get to the mine without passing out, he would basically be committing suicide. He would be nothing but a toy for Page in his condition and he certainly would be of no help at all to Alyssa. He eyed the telephone on his nightstand for a few long minutes and ultimately made the only decision that he could. He reached for the phone then slowly dialed Sam's number.

xxxxx

Sam's heartbeat began to speed up when his cell phone rang and he saw the caller ID for the hospital on the display. "Sam Hanna," he said, after clicking on the phone. He was driving the SUV Granger had rented. The assistant director had insisted Sam take it after he had driven back to the hotel, stating it made no sense for Sam to take a taxi to pick up dinner and then go back to the hospital.

"Hey, Sam…It's me."

Sam immediately breathed a sigh of relief when he heard his partner's voice. "Hey G, what's up? You want me to bring you something? I got dinner. I'm on my way back to the hospital now."

"You're coming back now?" Callen asked, echoing Sam.

"Yeah…is everything okay?" Sam asked as he steered the vehicle into a right hand turn.

"Page called me…" Callen's voice was not much louder than a whisper, but Sam heard him loud and clear.

"What? When did he call? What did he want?"

"Can…can we just talk about it when you get here?" Callen asked and Sam could tell from his voice that everything was definitely not okay.

"Yeah, sure G," Sam said, automatically putting a little bit more pressure on the gas pedal to speed up. "Listen I'm going to be there really soon, okay?"

"Okay, thanks Sam."

Sam heard the click of the phone signifying that G had hung up and focused on getting to the hospital as quickly as possible.

xxxxx

Callen hung up the phone, relieved that Sam would be there before too long. He felt very thirsty and reached for the cup of ice water that was sitting on his tray, taking a few sips. He then leaned back against the pillows, intending to close his eyes for just a few short moments, but instead fell asleep almost immediately.

xxxxx

Deeks was sitting on the sofa, waiting for Kensi to finish her bath, when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw Hetty's name on the caller ID. "Hi, Hetty," he said, holding the phone up to his ear.

"Hello, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said. "I was wondering if you and Miss Blye have had dinner yet?"

"No, we haven't," Deeks said. "Kensi's soaking in the tub right now. She doesn't really feel like going anywhere tonight."

"I was thinking we could have dinner together this evening, if it's not an imposition," Hetty said. "I will pick something up and bring it to your room. Is there anything particular you would like?"

"Of course it's not an imposition, Hetty," Deeks said. "We'd love to have dinner with you, but you don't have to bring anything. We can figure it all out after you get here."

"Nonsense, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said. "I will bring something and will see you soon."

"Okay, Hetty, we'll see you," Deeks replied. He then got up off the sofa to go inform Kensi that she needed to hurry herself along as they were going to have a guest for dinner.

xxxxx

Sam quietly walked into Callen's room and stopped momentarily to observe him, as he reached his bedside. The first thing he noted was that he was completely dressed which told him that G had been up to no good before his phone call to Sam. Also of note, was that he was fast asleep, which Sam knew would never be the case, if his partner was anywhere near being recovered. "You're having a pretty rough go of it, aren't you, buddy," he whispered, putting the bag of food down on Callen's bed. He wanted to let his partner sleep, but knew he couldn't do it. At the very least, he needed to find out what Page had said.

"G?" Sam spoke softly as he gently patted Callen's shoulder. "Come on, G…wake up."

Sam gave a look of relief as Callen slowly opened his eyes and looked up at his partner. "Oh…hey Sam, what's up?"

Sam gave him a perplexed look. "You called me, G… remember?"

Callen frowned as he thought for a few moments and then nodded as he struggled to sit up. "Page… Sam, he's going to kill Alyssa."

"How'd he even know you were here?" Sam asked, seating himself in the chair by Callen's bed.

"It wasn't hard to figure out," Callen said. "I'm in the same place I was when he abducted me."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, that's true…so what did he say?"

"I have to go to the mine by midnight. If I don't, he said Alyssa will take my place and he'll kill her. I'm supposed to fulfill my destiny... he wants me dead in my tomb…"

"Crazy bastard," Sam murmured. He was grateful at least that Callen seemed less sluggish and more oriented. "So…you were planning to go to the mine, by yourself, with no backup?" He stared at Callen, his eyes searing into those of his friend's. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"That I didn't want anyone else to get hurt…" Callen broke his gaze away from his partner and stared down at the blanket, picking imaginary pieces of lint off it.

Sam shook his head, but didn't say anything. As much as he wanted to, now wasn't really the time for lectures. He was just thankful that, for whatever reason, Callen had not been able to carry out his very dubious plan and head to the mine on his own. "So…what scheme are you cooking up now?" he asked.

"No scheme. But I do have to go there, Sam…Page is crazy. I believe that he'll kill Alyssa if I don't do what he says."

Sam nodded. He didn't really like the idea of G going into the mine, but it was hard to think of another plan. "So, should I call Hetty and Granger so we can figure out details?"

"No, not Hetty," Callen said, with a quick shake of his head. "She'll never agree to me leaving the hospital."

Sam sighed and ran his hand over his face. Privately, he agreed with the assessment that his partner shouldn't leave the hospital, but choices, as well as time, were limited. Page had been wise to make a move when G was still hospitalized and would be easily overcome in his condition. "Really, G? You want to keep this from Hetty?"

"Do you think she'll sign off on me leaving the hospital?"

"I think we can talk her into it. I don't think we should keep her out of the plan."

Callen absently nibbled on his lower lip but then shook his head adamently. "No…we can't tell Hetty."

"I don't like it, G," Sam said.

Callen ignored Sam's opinion. "Can you call Granger? Ask him to come here?" He was pretty sure Granger would go along with them. At least he hoped he would.

"What about Deeks?" Sam asked, pulling out his cell phone.

"What about him?" Callen asked. "He's hurt. I don't want to see him further injure himself."

"He can handle a gun and you can trust him. You need people you can trust who will have your back. I say we have him with us."

"Okay," Callen said, realizing that Sam was right about Deeks. "I'll call him."

"I'll call Granger," Sam said as he headed out of Callen's room. "I'll be right back."

xxxxx

Deeks, Hetty and Kensi were just about to begin eating dinner when Deeks' cell phone rang. "Excuse me," he said, pulling the phone out of his pocket. His eyes widened a bit when he saw Harborview Medical Center on the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hey, Deeks, it's Callen."

"Oh hey, Callen," Deeks replied. "What's up? Everything okay?" He looked toward Hetty and Kensi and saw that the two women had stopped chatting and were giving him their full attention.

"Page contacted me," Callen said. "Sam is calling Granger and we're going to try to come up with a plan. We'd like you to join us if you can. Oh and Deeks? Just a heads up in case you talk to her, we're not telling Hetty about this."

"Pizza night with the guys sounds great," Deeks said.

"Is Hetty with you now? Shit."

"Yeah, you've got that right," Deeks said. "Do you need me to bring anything?"

"Just yourself and your gun…thanks, Deeks."

"No problem, Callen. I'll see you soon." Deeks clicked off the phone and smiled at Kensi and Hetty. "Well…I guess you heard. I'm sorry, Hetty, but it's going to just be a girls dinner tonight. Pizza won't be anywhere near as appetizing, but I don't want to disappoint Callen. He doesn't ask for much, you know? And he's pretty depressed being in the hospital and all so I probably should go…" He realized he was talking too much so he stopped. He wanted to tell Kensi what was going on, but with Hetty sitting right beside her, that was pretty much impossible.

"Mr. Callen called you about pizza?" Hetty asked, giving Deeks a speculative look. "I wonder why he didn't mention this earlier when you were there?"

"Uh…I don't know…maybe it was Sam's idea," Deeks shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "You know how these spur of the moment things are…"

"Hmm…yes, well have a good time. You mustn't keep them waiting."

"No, yes…I mean, no I don't want to keep them waiting…" He stood up and leaned down toward s Kensi to give her a kiss. "I'll see you later, baby," he said. "You and Hetty enjoy your dinner."

Kensi nodded, feeling somewhat uneasy, but she didn't question him. "Bye, Deeks…have fun."

He nodded. "Just have to get my sweatshirt." He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his gun which he shoved into the waistband at the back of his pants. He then put on his sweatshirt, making sure his weapon was covered up. He went back out into the living room and with a quick goodbye, headed off to return to the hospital.

xxxxx

"Granger has to get some equipment and then he'll be here," Sam said as he re-entered Callen's hospital room. "Were you able to reach Deeks?"

"I was," replied Callen with a nod. "Only thing is, he was with Hetty…"

"Oh yeah? I hope she doesn't get too suspicious," Sam said, inwardly thinking it might be good if she did. He started to shuffle through the bag of Italian food and pulled out a salad and a container of lasagna which he put down emphatically on the tray in front of his partner, along with plastic utensils. "Dinner."

"I'm not really all that hungry," Callen said. "Deeks and Kensi brought in lunch earlier…"

Sam shook his head. "I don't want to hear it. We have time before the others get here and you're going to eat, G. If you don't…well…I might just be tempted to give Hetty a call…tell her you're being uncooperative…that maybe she should come by and talk to you."

"You wouldn't do that…"

"Wouldn't I?" Sam said, staring at his partner. "Don't try me, G…You know I'm not particularly happy with what we're doing. I wouldn't push my buttons if I were you… You know I can stop this if I decide to."

Callen looked back at Sam and saw that he was definitely not playing around. With a faint sigh, he took the cover off the lasagna container and slowly began to eat while they waited for Deeks and Granger to arrive.


	31. Chapter 31

_Thanks, as always, to my reader/reviewers. I appreciate all of you so much. :)_

 _To Caroline, so sorry you've been affected by Hurricane Matthew. I hope things get better for you soon._

xxxxx

"That was kind of weird," Kensi commented as she passed one of the food containers to Hetty.

Hetty nodded in agreement as she mulled over what had just taken place. "Yes…yes it was."

"Oh, Deeks is going to be sorry he missed this," Kensi said as she opened her own container and revealed a delicious-looking fish dinner.

"It's a specialty of this particular establishment," Hetty stated. "Ritzy Alaskan Ling Cod with buttered crumb topping, whipped potatoes and fresh vegetables."

"Mmm…it's so good, Hetty," Kensi said as she took a bite of the fish. "I really am sorry that Deeks ran out on you."

"I can't help but wonder…" Hetty began, taking a bite of her own meal.

"Wonder what?" Kensi asked.

"When I spoke with Sam earlier, he said he was going to get Italian food for him and Mr. Callen for dinner. As he put it, he's trying to fatten him up," Hetty said, smiling.

"Well…pizza is Italian," Kensi said.

"Yes, but I wasn't under the impression that Sam was going to be getting pizza," Hetty said.

"Maybe that's what Callen wanted?"

Hetty nodded. "Yes, perhaps…in any case, I guess we'd better eat before our dinner gets cold."

xxxxx

Sam and Callen pretty much ate in silence. Sam was starved and once Callen had started in on the lasagna he realized he was hungrier than he thought he was. Even though in his own eyes, his recovery was going frustratingly slowly, his appetite had definitely returned. "See, you did need to eat, G," Sam commented. Callen had polished off about two-thirds of the lasagna and half the salad.

Callen nodded. "You were right, Sam. Thanks for dinner."

"You're welcome." The two men both looked towards the doorway as Deeks entered the room.

"Hey, what's up fellows?" he asked, sniffing appreciatively. "Mmm…This place smells like an Italian restaurant."

"Yeah, sorry, Deeks," Sam gave him an apologetic look. "I would have brought you dinner too if I had known this was happening."

"Hey that's okay, no worries…even though Hetty had brought us what I think would have been an amazing dinner." He looked at the abandoned food on Callen's tray. "I'm not proud though and I am hungry. Are you finished with that?"

"Be my guest." Callen pushed the lasagna and salad towards him and Sam handed him some utensils.

"Thanks," Deeks said, immediately digging into the food. "So what's the plan?"

"We don't really have much of one," Sam admitted. "Basically, Page called G and said he wants him at the mine by midnight to, as he so eloquently put it, fulfill his destiny."

Deeks shrugged. "So we're just going in and taking him out?"

Callen shook his head. "We could do that, but he said if I don't go in there alone, he's going to kill Alyssa."

"That's his niece?" Deeks asked. "I doubt he'll follow through on that. Do you think he will?"

"I think there's a good chance he would," Callen replied. "This guy isn't playing with a full deck. There's no telling what he would do. In any case, I'm not willing to take that chance. I'm going in there by myself."

"So it's just us the three of us?" Deeks asked, not particularly liking their odds, especially with Callen's health a definite question mark.

"Granger will be here soon," Sam said.

"So… what's the deal with leaving Hetty out of the loop?" asked Deeks. "It forced me to leave Kensi out also and I didn't like having to lie to her."

"Sorry about that," said Callen, "but I don't think Hetty would support me leaving the hospital to pursue this."

"No, you're probably right about that," Deeks said.

"You want some Italian bread?" Sam asked. He reached into the bag and pulled out a small loaf of bread and a plastic cup of whipped butter, which he handed to Deeks.

"Thanks." Deeks gratefully took the bread from Sam. He was still very hungry. Just as he was spreading some butter onto a slice of bread, Granger came into the room, carrying a cardboard box.

"How's everyone doing?" Granger asked as he placed the box onto the bed by Callen's feet. "Tell me what you've come up with so far."

"We haven't really come up with a plan yet," Sam admitted. "We were waiting for you."

"But I am going in there alone," Callen stated.

Granger cast a long look at Callen. "Are you really sure that's a good idea, Agent Callen?" he asked. "No offense, but you look like crap."

"Well, I feel really good," Callen said determinedly. Perhaps if he said it enough times, it would turn out to be true.

"Okay then, here," Granger reached into the box and pulled out a blue button down shirt which he tossed to Callen. "Put this on."

"Why?" Callen asked, not particularly wanting to go through more pain in trying to dress himself, especially with everyone watching him. "Is there some kind of a mine dress code that I'm unaware of? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"You're going to be wearing a button cam. It doesn't work particularly well on a t-shirt." He showed the men a palm-sized monitor. "I'm not sure if we will get your signal from inside the mine, but hopefully, we'll be able to track your movements. If not, we're only allowing you a few minutes before we follow you in."

Callen took the shirt and slowly put it on over his t-shirt, taking care not to make any fast or twisting motions as he did so. "How are you going to see to go into the mine?" Callen asked. "If you use any kind of light, they're going to spot you and you'll lose the element of surprise."

"Hopefully, they won't be too far in there," Sam said. "You weren't too far in the mine the first time they had you."

"Really?" Callen asked, giving Sam a curious look. He knew how claustrophobic he was and how much he hated places like that. "How do you know that? Did you go into the mine?"

"Of course I did, G…" Sam said, his eyes filled with emotion. "You're my best friend. I had to go in there."

"Thank you, Sam," Callen said quietly, after the two partners exchanged a long look.

"I don't want to break up this heartfelt moment, but we're on the clock," Granger interrupted them gruffly. He then looked at Callen. "Do you think you can drive at all? I figured we would drive together until we're about a quarter mile from the mine. Then you can drive the rest of the way and we'll follow you in on foot."

"I can drive," Callen stated, not really convincing any of them.

Granger went on outlining the plans, including taking some of the agents who had been performing guard duty with them. As he tried to listen to Granger, Callen found his eyelids getting more and more heavy as he drifted in and out of the conversation. Finally, his body's need for sleep outweighed his desire to partake in the planning session and he drifted off, his head dropping back against the pillows. Granger noticed immediately. "Are you sure bringing him along is such a good idea?" he asked Sam. "I think we should go in without him and just take them down."

Sam shook his head slowly. "G's adamant that he go in there alone. He truly believes Page will kill Alyssa if he doesn't…but you're right…" He looked at his partner, his face filled with doubt. "I feel like we're leading a lamb to the slaughter…"

"And your partner is that lamb, I take it, Mr. Hanna?" Hetty asked, startling the three men as they looked toward the doorway and saw Hetty enter the room with Kensi trailing behind her. The room was immediately filled with an uncomfortable silence.

"Where's the pizza, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked, focusing her penetrating gaze on Deeks. "Has it not been delivered yet?"

"I'm sorry, Hetty…" Deeks said, looking guilty, as he lowered his eyes to stare at the floor.

"It wasn't his fault, Hetty," Sam defended the junior team member. "We told him to keep you out of it." He turned his attention to Kensi. "Deeks didn't want to lie to you, Kensi."

"And why exactly was I excluded?" Hetty asked, "and what exactly is going on?"

"Page called G this afternoon," Sam said, deciding that full disclosure was now their only option. "He said he wants him at the mine by midnight or he's going to kill Alyssa."

"I see," Hetty stated. "And Mr. Callen knew I would not be in favor of this."

Sam nodded.

"But you think it's a good idea?" she asked, her eyes on Sam.

Sam shook his head. "No…I don't, but, he feels really strongly about it, Hetty. If we don't let him do this and Alyssa gets killed…I don't like to think about the consequences. His state of mind is fragile enough these days."

Hetty sighed softly and turned her attention to Granger. "What do you think, Owen? Are you in favor of this plan?"

Granger shrugged. "I'm going along with it, Henrietta, but basically, I just want to get this bastard. I'm good with leaving Agent Callen here and proceeding without him." He glanced at the agent who was still asleep, oblivious to the fact that Hetty was even in the room. "I honestly think that's the best course of action. I don't think he's in any shape to come with us."

"You've been rather quiet, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said, turning to face him. "What's your opinion?"

"Me? Uh…" Deeks ran his hand back through his hair. "I don't really have an opinion, Hetty…"

"Really? No opinion at all, Mr. Deeks? That's not like you."

He frowned a little as he gazed back at her. "I guess…I know Callen is sick and all, but…he's in a tough situation. I get why he wants to go there…I'd probably feel the same way…"

"Miss Blye?" Hetty turned to look back at her. "What do you think?"

Kensi looked at Deeks then at Callen who at that moment shifted and whimpered slightly in his sleep. Her eyes filled with sympathy, she sighed and looked back at Hetty. "I don't like going against Callen," she began, "but in this case, I don't want to see him get more badly hurt. I think we need to protect him from himself."

Hetty gave Kensi a faint smile and nodded as she approached the bedside of the man in question. "Mr. Callen?" she said as she took his hand and squeezed it. "Time to wake up."

Callen stirred slightly when he heard her voice and forced his eyes open as she squeezed his hand again. "Oh…hi, Hetty," he said, giving her a sheepish look. "I'm surprised to see you."

Sam, who was watching his partner closely, was gratified to see that at the moment, Callen seemed very oriented.

"Hmm…I bet you're surprised," Hetty said. "What's the meaning of all these shenanigans going on behind my back?"

"I…" Callen glanced around the room, searching for help, but no one seemed inclined to give it. "I knew you wouldn't want me to leave the hospital, so I said we shouldn't involve you," he finally said.

"That's what you thought?" Hetty asked.

"Yes," Callen said with a nod.

"Well…you were absolutely right, Mr. Callen. From what I can see, you're barely able to keep yourself awake and alert, much less make yourself the target of a very dangerous mission."

"Hetty…"

She shook her head. "No."

"Hetty, please! I have to. Page will kill her. I know he will. He's going to be holed up in that mine, ready and waiting for whoever shows up. If anyone but me goes in there, he'll do it. He knows how much it will eat at me if he kills her. How do you expect me to live with that? At least if I'm in there, it will take his attention off of her and then, hopefully, the team can neutralize him." Callen looked at her beseechingly. "Please?"

Hetty stared into his blue eyes. He certainly knew how to get to her. He'd been doing it since he was a boy. She was very tempted to give in to him, but should she? She knew it was extremely likely he would end up losing his life if she acquiesced to his request. She shook her head, about to say no, but in the end she just couldn't refuse him. "Fine, Mr. Callen," she said, "But mark my words, you are not the leader of this little mission. You will follow the orders of Owen and Sam to the letter and if they determine, for any reason, it is too dangerous or you are unable to physically take this on, you will listen to them and pull out. No arguments."

Callen nodded. "I will, Hetty. Thank you. I promise I'll listen."

She turned to Granger and Sam. "Watch him carefully," she said before casting another look at the leader of her team. She hoped she did not end up regretting her decision.


	32. Chapter 32

_As always, thanks to all of you who have been reading and reviewing the story. I really appreciate those of you who faithfully review each chapter and there have been some new guest reviewers who have been extremely kind._

 _As for this chapter, sorry to say it's a bit of a cliffhanger…_

xxxxx

"Well...now that that's settled, I think we need to get this show on the road," Granger said as the others nodded.

"I'd like to go too," said Kensi. "I could be out on the perimeter. You know my shooting could come in handy."

Deeks walked over to her. "Baby…you know we'd love to have you out there," he said gently. "But we'll be walking through rough terrain in the middle of the night…it's not a good idea."

"I can do it, Deeks," Kensi insisted. "I'm not fragile."

At that point, Hetty stepped in. "Ms. Blye, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Deeks. I don't think it's a good idea for you to go along. You will accompany me. I'm going to drive out to where the team will be dropped off. We will be close by and can monitor the situation."

Kensi sighed as she tried to think of a convincing argument, but even she couldn't really disagree. "Fine…" she said softly after a few moments of silence.

Hetty turned to Sam. "Mr. Hanna, can you please go get a wheelchair for your partner?"

Sam nodded. "No problem, Hetty.

"Wait. I don't need a wheelchair," Callen said.

"Really, Mr. Callen? Already you're being difficult?" Hetty shook her head. "If it's going to be like this, I'm going to put an end to this right now. You will stay here, under heavy guard, until this is over with." As she uttered the words out loud, Hetty realized that they had merit and wished that was what she had decided to do in the first place.

Callen looked back at Hetty, saw that she was deadly serious and relented. "I guess I do need a wheelchair, after all," he said, quickly backing down. Sam grinned and headed out of the room to retrieve one.

xxxxx

While they waited for Sam to return with the wheelchair, Deeks decided to take the opportunity to talk with Kensi about what had happened back at the hotel. "You should sit down," he said quietly. She nodded and allowed him to lead her to a chair. He then squatted beside her. "Are you angry with me because I didn't tell you what was going on?"

Kensi gazed at him for a long moment, but then offered a faint smile as she shook her head. "No Deeks, I'm not angry. You were put in a difficult situation. I don't see that you really had much of a choice. I wouldn't have expected you to go against Callen, especially with all that we've been through together."

"Thank you for understanding," Deeks said. "I really did want to tell you the truth...I just didn't get the chance to do so."

Kensi nodded. "I know you did. Just don't make a habit of it."

"I would never do that." He stood up and leaned in towards her to gently kiss her lips.

"I'm back," Sam announced as he re-entered the room, pushing an empty wheelchair. "Your chariot awaits, G." Callen carefully moved off the bed then dropped heavily into the wheelchair. His lower limbs were weak and he was unsure why he had protested it to begin with. He was pretty sure his legs wouldn't have carried him through the hospital to wherever their vehicle was parked. He just hoped he would make it to where Page was without falling on his face.

"Doubts, Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked, observing him closely.

Callen quickly shook his head. "No…no doubts, Hetty," he assured her while inwardly wondering, not for the first time, if she could read minds. "I'm good."

Just then, a nurse entered the room. She looked around in obvious confusion at the group of people assembled there, then at Callen. "What exactly is going on here, Mr. Callen?" she asked him. "What are you doing dressed and out of bed?"

"Just taking a little side trip," Callen said, giving her his most charming smile. "I'll be back."

She was unmoved by Callen's attempt at charm. "Does Dr. Hathaway know about this?" she asked.

"Uh…no…"

"You can't leave."

"I have to."

She shook her head. "No…no you don't have to. This is highly irregular. I'm going to go notify my supervisor." She quickly turned and left the room with purposeful strides.

"We'd better get out of here," Callen said. He felt like a prisoner plotting a prison break.

Hetty shook her head. "No. You're not leaving here like some runaway child. We will wait and then sign you out AMA.

Granger shook his head. "He's right. We don't have time for that right now, Henrietta. We'll just get through all the red tape when we bring him back, after this is all over."

Hetty pondered that for a few long moments and then finally nodded her head. "Fine. Let's be on our way then."

xxxxx

"G? Why don't you try to sleep until we get there?" Sam asked, glancing at his exhausted-appearing partner before turning to concentrate on the road. Granger had allowed Sam to drive with Callen next to him in the front seat. He and Deeks were seated in the back. Their vehicle was followed by a second SUV with the three NCIS agents who had been on duty at the hospital. Hetty and Kensi's vehicle brought up the rear.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Callen answered snippily.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked, appearing somewhat bewildered by his partner's comment.

"You'd probably conveniently forget to wake me up when we got there," Callen stated.

Sam shook his head in irritation. He knew everything was far from okay with his partner, but he still felt somewhat hurt by the remark. "What the hell is with you, G? I go out of my way to stand by you, to have your back. I can't see that I've given you any reason not to trust me and you come up with that? I don't deserve it. You obviously need sleep even more than I thought you did."

Callen opened his mouth to give some nasty retort then closed it, feeling ashamed. "I'm sorry, Sam," he murmured. "I honestly don't know what's wrong with me…I didn't mean it. I know you've got my back."

"Damn straight," Sam mumbled.

"I said I was sorry." Callen turned his head away from his partner, then leaned his cheek against the seat and stared out the window. He was tense and out of sorts and just wanted this to be over with so he could hopefully get back to feeling normal again.

xxxxx

Granger had been closely monitoring the GPS and when they were a little over a quarter mile from the mine, he ordered Sam to pull the SUV over to the side of the road. The other two SUVs pulled up behind them. "Agent Callen, here, take this," Granger said as he passed a small pistol to his agent.

Callen shook his head. "Page said I have to be unarmed," he said.

"They might not check you for weapons. It might be worth the risk," Granger said.

Callen considered it, then shook his head again. "I'd better not."

"Put it in the glove compartment…Just in case you change your mind."

Callen nodded and did as Granger asked.

"You sure you're okay to drive?" Granger asked.

"I'm fine," Callen replied.

"Okay, I'm going to do the best I can to closely track your movements," Granger said. "Try not to make any wisecracks. You don't want to antagonize this freak any further. We'll get there as fast as we can. Good luck." He then exited the SUV.

"Hang in there, Callen," Deeks said, placing his hand supportively on Callen's shoulder. "We'll be there soon."

"Thanks, Deeks."

Deeks nodded and got out of the SUV to give Callen and Sam a moment to themselves.

"You okay?" Sam asked, looking at his partner worriedly. The momentary friction between them had dissolved. Now Sam only felt concern for his partner, wishing like hell he wasn't going into this alone. Basically, he was being dangled like a worm on a hook. Sam didn't like it one bit.

Callen nodded, seeing the distress in Sam's eyes, knowing he would feel the same way if Sam was walking into that mine unprotected. "Everything will be alright, Sam."

"You don't know that, G," Sam said, shaking his head. "I don't think this is a good idea. You should let us all go in there and try to take Page by surprise. There's a good chance we'll succeed and get Alyssa out of there without her being hurt."

"We've already been through this, big guy," Callen said quietly. "Don't worry, Sam. I know you guys have my back and will be there before I know it."

Sam took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah…yeah okay," he said quietly. "You just make sure you keep yourself alive until we get in there to save your skinny ass."

Callen nodded with a smirk at his partner. "You've got it."

"Okay…guess we'd better change places and get a move on," Sam said, his hand on the handle of the driver's side door.

Callen nodded and got out of the SUV. Everyone was gathered outside, including Hetty and Kensi. Kensi came up to him, let her crutches drop to the ground and gave him a tight embrace. "You be careful, Callen," she said.

"I will be, Kens," he assured her. She drew back from him, her eyes emotional, as Deeks handed her the crutches which he had picked up from the ground.

"Mr. Callen," Hetty said, coming up to him. "Are you sure you won't reconsider? We will do our best to keep Alyssa safe from harm."

"I'm sorry, Hetty," he said. "This is just something I have to do…"

She nodded. "I understand. God speed then."

He nodded and with a quick wave to his group of friends, he got into the SUV and headed in the direction of the mine.

xxxxx

As Callen drove towards the mine, his heartbeat progressively grew faster. When he arrived, he took a few deep breaths as he stared at the entrance, basically terrified at the idea of going back inside. There was an SUV parked outside and no one else around. He slowly got out of the vehicle and then three figures approached him, each coming from a different direction. The men were armed with rifles and one of them was particularly intimidating. He was about Sam's height, but probably outweighed him by a good 50 to 60 pounds. He expertly patted Callen down and then pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "Hands behind you," he said.

"Really?" Callen asked. The three of you are armed and you still need to cuff me?"

"Shut up and put your hands behind your back. I'm not going to ask again," he snarled.

Callen did as he asked and the man cuffed him, making sure the cuffs were extremely tight against his wrists. "I don't suppose you could loosen these a bit?" Callen asked.

The man ignored his request. "Move." He nudged Callen with the rifle, directing him towards the mine.

They hadn't walked very far at all when they reached Page, his brother and Alyssa. Callen's eyes immediately fell on Alyssa who was huddled on the ground against the wall of the mine. "Are you alright?" he asked her softly, noting the bruising on her face and the dull, lifeless look in her eyes. It was obvious that she was traumatized.

She nodded, not looking at him.

"Don't talk to her, Agent Callen," Page snapped.

"I don't take orders from you, Page," Callen stated.

"Really?" Page asked, smirking. "Then why did you come here? Why didn't you just stay in the warmth and safety of your hospital bed?"

"Because I want to take you down, Page. I want to see you rot away in prison for what you've done."

Page started to laugh. "Really? You're going to take me down? I'd like to see how you're going to accomplish that. You're nothing but a fool."

Callen just smirked. He knew that the team would be there soon. He just needed to keep alive until that happened.

"I think a blindfold is in order. Maybe then you won't be so high and mighty."

His heart speeding up, Callen unconsciously backed away, bumping into the musclebound man.

The man seized Callen and held him, gripping his arms tightly. Then he leaned down and whispered in his ear. "You better stay away from me, pretty boy…you might not like what you get in return."

Callen broke out into a cold sweat as he managed to break away from the man, almost losing his balance in the process.

Page smiled maliciously. "You don't like that idea, do you? Sorry, Russell. If I wasn't so set on killing him, he'd be a nice addition to your collection. Unfortunately, I just can't let him live."

Callen's nerves were totally on edge as he briefly pondered the meaning of Russell's so-called collection. He put it out of his mind though, realizing that Page was the main consideration at the moment.

"Is the poor baby still afraid of the dark?" Page cooed, then his voice became harsher. "Blindfold him, Russell." Russell grabbed him and roughly tied a blindfold over Callen's eyes. Disoriented, Callen could feel himself begin to panic as he was overcome with memories of being left in the darkness in the mine.

"Come on, let's go," Page ordered.

"Wait! Where are we going?" Callen asked, but no one answered him as they forcibly shoved him along. The rough shoves, combined with his weak legs, caused him to stumble several times. He had no idea if they were moving out of the mine or further inside of it. "Where are we going?" he repeated, but was once again ignored.

After a couple of minutes or so, Callen could feel the fresh air on his face. At that point, he breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that they were outside and not further inside the mine. He prayed that his team was nearby. Suddenly the sound of gunshots filled the air and he was unceremoniously shoved into a vehicle, likely the SUV he had seen when he had first arrived at the mine. "Let's get out of here!" he heard Page's voice as other car doors slammed. The motor started up and before he knew it, they were on the move.


	33. Chapter 33

_As always, thanks so much for all of you who are reading and reviewing._

 _In answer to your question, Caroline, Page let Andy's family go. He told Callen that back in chapter 17 (lol – I had to go back and make sure)_

 _Now, totally serious here…You really might want to wait until the weekend update before reading this chapter. Its angsty and awful and has a horrendous cliffhanger. Basically, if you don't like cliffhangers, you won't like this chapter._

 _The next chapter WILL NOT be a cliffhanger. I promise._

xxxxx

Sam was holding Granger's small monitor and keeping a close watch over Callen's movements as seen through the button cam and heard through the tiny microphone which Granger had also planted. "Who is this goon?" he asked as he watched one of the three men who approached his partner roughly handcuff him. "He's like twice as big as G."

Deeks moved in next to Sam to get a look at the guy. "Wow…he sure is an ugly sucker," he commented.

Sam continued to watch as they walked, his anger growing by the second when G was blindfolded and Page and Russell taunted him with thinly veiled threats.

"Calm down, Agent Hanna," Granger said. "We're just about there…Callen needs you cool and collected. They're just messing with him right now. They haven't hurt him…that's the important thing."

Sam nodded as he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He knew that Granger was right. He needed to stay calm. He couldn't screw this up. Just before they reached the mine, Granger ordered them to split up along the perimeter, keeping under the cover of trees and bushes. "It looks like they're on their way out," Sam said, seeing what G couldn't see, that they were approaching the opening to the mine. He and Deeks were together off to the left of the mine entrance. Just as the group emerged from the mine, out of nowhere, gunshots were fired in the direction of Deeks and Sam. "Where the hell are they shooting from?" Deeks asked, frantically searching, but unable to determine where the gunshots were originating from.

Sam shook his head in frustration. "I don't know." He turned his head as he heard the sound of the SUV doors slamming closed. "Shit! We've got to stop them!" he shouted, taking aim at the SUV's tires. It was too late though and the vehicle sped off down the road. Two of the men had taken off into the woods and Sam assumed Alyssa, Callen, Page, Robert and Russell were the ones who remained in the vehicle. Shots continued to be fired at them, effectively keeping them pinned down and unable to reach their vehicle. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the shooting stopped. From somewhere off in the distance they heard the sound of a vehicle starting up and then quickly speeding away.

"Dammit! This has all gone to hell!" Sam shouted as he ran towards the SUV and opened the door. "Where the hell are the keys? We're never going to catch up with them!"

Deeks, hot on Sam's trail, opened the passenger side door, found the keys on the floor and instantly handed them off to Sam. "Here are the keys, Sam."

Sam grabbed the keys from Deeks and was about to get behind the wheel when Granger grabbed his arm, stopping him. "I'll drive, Sam. Get in the passenger seat."

"We're wasting time, Granger," Sam said angrily. "They already have a head start. If they get to a main road, G is as good as dead."

"Deeks, get in the back," Granger ordered. Deeks did as Granger asked and Agents Atkins and Rollins got into the back of the SUV as well.

"What the hell, Granger!" Sam yelled as he got into the passenger seat. "We're never going to catch up with them now." He was failing his partner. He was supposed to have his back and they were standing around, twiddling their thumbs as they discussed who would sit where. Granger got into the driver's seat and handed a GPS locator device to Hanna. "Make sure we stay on them."

"You're tracking G?" Sam asked, looking at Granger with both surprise and relief. "You didn't say anything…"

"I wasn't about to lose him again after what happened at the hospital. There are tracking chips attached to his shirt," Granger said as he started up the engine. Through the rear-view mirror, Granger saw that Hetty and Kensi had pulled up behind them. He watched as Agent Fredericks got into the back of their SUV and then started off in pursuit of Callen and his captors.

xxxxx

Callen knew Russell, the creep, was sitting next to him in the back of the SUV even before the man spoke. He had noticed an unpleasant body odor coming from him outside, but it was much worse now in the close confines of the SUV. He tried to push himself against the door in an attempt to put more distance between them. It didn't work though and moments later, he felt a hand on his knee. "Get your hand off me," Callen growled as he felt a chill run down his spine and he shuddered inwardly.

"Don't be like that sweet pea," Russell whispered, removing his hand from Callen's knee and putting it on his thigh instead. "I would think you'd welcome a bit of kind human companionship before Jonathan finishes you off."

"I said not to touch me." Callen said, his voice breaking. He was on the verge of totally losing it. It had been a very bad couple of weeks and he was finally reaching the edge of the cliff as to just how much he could take. He was anxiously gnawing the inner part of his lip, but wasn't even aware of how hard he was doing it until he tasted the blood in his mouth.

"I don't suppose you'd allow me to have a half hour alone with him, Jonathan?" Russell asked. "I'd teach him a lesson he wouldn't soon forget."

Jonathan chuckled from the front seat. "I'm sorry Russell…just don't have the time. I don't want to chance anyone trying to rescue him. It's time to send Agent Callen into the fires of hell where he belongs."

"Pity," Russell said, letting his hand linger for another few moments before finally removing it.

Callen breathed a sigh of relief when Russell took his hand away and didn't put it back. He was repulsed even thinking of whatever the man had wanted to do to him and tried to put it out of his head. He needed to concentrate on where Page was going and what his plan was. "So…where are we headed now?" he asked, barely managing to keep his voice steady.

"You'll find out soon enough," Jonathan said.

"What's the big secret?"

"I like to surprise people," Jonathan replied. "It gives me great excitement. It's a nice, warm place. I believe you'll enjoy it very much."

"How about taking off the blindfold?" Callen asked. The combination of the handcuffs and blindfold were doing a job on his mental status, much more so than he liked to admit.

"Sorry, Agent Callen…this is a punishment, not a reward. The blindfold will not be removed, especially now that I realize just how uncomfortable you are with it."

Callen leaned his head back against the seat, feeling helpless. He knew he wasn't being tracked. Granger hadn't had a reason to do so. They had been sure he'd remain in the mine. He knew he was pretty much screwed. He just hoped whatever way Page planned for him to die, that it wouldn't be too torturous.

xxxxx

"What the hell is he doing to him, Deeks?" Sam asked. He wanted to rip out the throat of this scumbag. He could just hear the stress in G's voice and knew now they had made a very poor decision in allowing him to partake in this mission. He was almost as freaked out as he was sure his partner was. He so badly wished his partner was safe and sound back in the hospital. Even if G was pissed off at them, at least he wouldn't be going through this.

"I think he's just playing with him, Sam," Deeks said, but when he saw the appalled look on Sam's face, he hastened to add. "I mean mentally, not physically."

"I almost wish there wasn't a microphone," Sam muttered under his breath. Even though he wanted to know what was going on, he didn't like knowing that G was suffering and so far he was powerless to help him.

"Calm yourself, Mr. Hanna." Hetty's voice in Sam's earwig caused him to start slightly. He had forgotten she was monitoring them.

"Not that easy, Hetty," he said quietly.

"I know it's not, but your partner needs you to keep yourself together for a little bit longer," she said. "You don't want to let him down."

"No…no you're right…I can't let him down…"

xxxxx

The SUV stopped and Jonathan quickly got out and opened the door next to Callen in the back seat. "Come on, get out. Now!" he ordered as he roughly pulled on Callen's arm. "Russell, Robert and I will take care of this. You stay here with Alyssa. We won't be long."

"Where are we?" Callen asked, but just like before, his attempt to get answers was ignored. He was shoved along what felt like a concrete pathway and then he heard the sound of a door opening and found himself in a building which smelled very old and musty. He assumed it was abandoned. "What is this place?" He was desperately trying to get information to his team so they could find him, but Page wasn't cooperating. "Is it really going to hurt to tell me where we are?"

"Let's just call it 'The Real Callen's Tomb'," Page answered, ending with a high-pitched giggle.

With that, acting on instinct and not thinking it through, Callen made an ill-advised attempt to escape. He slammed his shoulder into Robert, who was holding him by the arm, and tried to run. In only seconds he was grabbed by Page who rammed him into a wall. "Oh you are a very foolish man, Agent Callen," he said. "You really thought you could get away when you're basically blind and helpless? You are very foolish, indeed." He roughly grabbed Callen and proceeded to propel him along. Callen's ribs were killing him and he felt breathless and somewhat woozy. He could only hope that he would pass out and maybe he would never even know how Page killed him.

xxxxx

Deeks knew he had to watch what was happening with Callen, but he was dismayed by what he was witnessing and wished he didn't have to see it. "Granger…I really think you need to speed it up…"

"What? Dammit Deeks, what's going on?" Sam asked the younger man who just shook his head, looking sick as he handed Sam the small monitor.

"Damn it to hell," Sam said as his eyes widened in horror when he saw what was to be his partner's fate.

xxxxx

"Would you care to have a seat?" Jonathan's voice was pleasant and almost syrupy sweet as he spoke.

"No."

"Take a seat, Agent Callen," Jonathan said, his voice cold and harsh as Callen continued to ignore him. Catching Callen totally unaware, he let loose with some punches to his abdomen and then pushed him onto a wooden chair. "There…was that really so difficult?"

Callen sat doubled over in pain, wishing like hell he wasn't so helpless. He hated Jonathan Page…hated him with a passion. He wanted to pound the smug man's face into a bloody pulp and then shoot him repeatedly until he was dead ten times over.

"And now…as fun as this has been, and trust me, it has been a ton of fun for me…it's time for us to part company."

Callen waited, barely breathing, with every muscle in his body tensed up in anticipation of whatever Page was going to do to him. Whatever it was…he knew it wouldn't be good…

"It's really too bad that you were rescued from the mine…I know you didn't like it there, but eventually, you likely would have just lost consciousness and slipped into an endless sleep…This…unfortunately for you, won't be as pleasant…"

"Just fucking do it already!" Callen yelled, unable to take any more of Page's threats and incessant babbling.

"Your wish is my command, Agent Callen." Jonathan struck a match and threw it onto some crumpled pieces of paper on the warehouse floor. "Now is the time for you to run." Page watched the look of shocked realization that came over Callen's face as the flames began to ignite, then began to laugh uproariously as he and Robert hurriedly made their way out of the warehouse.

xxxxx

 _If you actually read this before I posted the next chapter, I'm really sorry and I did try to warn you…Also, I really do love Callen :)_


	34. Chapter 34

_Hi everyone, here's the next chapter and as promised, no cliffhanger. Thanks to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. As always, it is much appreciated. I have to say , I have my doubts about this chapter, but it is what it is, I guess. Sorry for any inaccuracies regarding the fire, but I did the best I could. So, anyhow, hope you enjoy in spite of all this lol. Thanks for reading._

xxxxx

Callen continued sitting on the chair, stunned, for a long moment, but the sound of the crackling flames jarred him out of his temporary stupor. He stood up and backed away a few feet from where he thought the fire was, then turned and began moving away from it, as quickly as he could in his condition. Already, the air was beginning to fill with smoke.

"I don't know if you guys can hear me," he said out loud, knowing even if his team didn't hear him now, they would listen to the recording later on, "but I'm in an abandoned building somewhere near the mine and Page set it on fire. I'm blindfolded, handcuffed and…and I really don't know if I'm going to make it out of here."

He started coughing and tried to take shallower breaths, but he knew he was still inhaling smoke. "Just…whatever happens, don't blame yourselves, especially you, partner…I got myself into this mess. This is no one's fault but my own…well actually its Page's fault, but I guess that goes without saying."

He hesitated and then, realizing it might be his last chance to say it, added one last thought. "I love you all."

xxxxx

Russell saw the oncoming headlights and turned to Alyssa. "I'm taking off, sweetheart. Tell your Uncle Jonathan it was real fun, but I'm not planning to go to jail for him." He then opened the door next to him and fled into the nearby woods on foot.

xxxxx

Granger parked his vehicle directly beside Page's SUV. He left the headlights on to help light up the surrounding area. The armed men then got out of the vehicle. Granger peered into the window of the other vehicle and saw Alyssa huddled against the seat, looking terrorized. He was about to open the door when Sam's voice stopped him. "Federal Agents! Get down on the ground!" He followed Sam's lead, aiming his gun at the two men who had exited the building.

Page and Robert did as Sam ordered, without any resistance, and were quickly immobilized by Atkins and Rollins as Sam turned to Granger. "I'm going in there."

Granger started to protest, but then realized that nothing would stop Sam from trying to rescue his partner. He nodded as he handed Sam a high-powered flashlight. "The fire department should be here any minute. Be careful…I don't think you have too long. If you don't find him fast, you need to get out of there before the whole place goes up. I know you want to save him, but think of your family, Sam." Sam nodded back at him, grabbed the GPS from the SUV and then ran towards the building. When he reached the door, he realized that he had company. "What are you doing, Deeks?" he asked, turning his head toward his teammate.

"Never go into a burning building alone," Deeks said with a grin, as he turned on the flashlight he was carrying.

"Thank you," Sam said, giving him a heartfelt look before the two made their way inside.

xxxxx

Hetty pulled up next to Granger's SUV and took in the surrounding area. Owen was standing guard over Page and his brother who were both sitting on the ground with their hands cuffed behind their backs. Page started to scream. "They're not going to find him! He's going to suffer and burn for all eternity! I hope the flesh melts off his body and he never gets any relief from the pain."

"Shut the hell up!" Granger shouted, already tired of the man's ramblings. "You're the one who's going to hell!"

"Owen…" Hetty gave him a grim look as she walked towards him.

"Sam and Deeks went in after him," he stated unnecessarily, knowing that Hetty was already aware of what had transpired.

Hetty turned towards Kensi who had come up behind her, but there were no words for the situation or for the look of dismay on Kensi's face. There was nothing they could do but wait and pray.

xxxxx

Callen felt like he was going around in circles until he bumped into a wall. Thankfully, he used it as a guide and began to painstakingly walk alongside it. At least now he could continue in one direction. He just hoped he chose the right way to go.

xxxxx

"It looks like he's over that way," Sam pointed off to the left, looking at the GPS, as he and Deeks moved rapidly through the warehouse.

"He's moving away from us," Deeks observed. "That's not good."

"At least he's moving though," Sam commented, not wanting to think of the alternative.

"True," Deeks said with a nod as both men started to move along faster. In any case, Callen definitely wasn't moving very quickly. "We'll catch up with him."

xxxxx

"God, Hetty…what if…" Kensi trailed off, shaking her head, obviously upset as she stared at the building. Flames were beginning to show through some high up windows over on the western side of the structure.

"We mustn't think the worst, Ms. Blye," Hetty said, squeezing Kensi's hand. "I firmly believe our team will get out of there safe and sound."

Kensi nodded, nervously nibbling her lip. Although she was trying to stay positive, she couldn't help but be afraid that she would never see Deeks or the others again.

xxxxx

"There he is!" Deeks pointed at the figure leaning against the wall, a short distance away from them. "Callen!"

"Smoke's getting thicker," Sam said, coughing into his sleeve, once again. He knew they were beginning to breathe in too much of it. "We need to get out of here."

The two men trotted towards Callen, calling his name, but he wasn't responding to their shouts.

"G!" Sam grabbed Callen's arm as they finally reached him.

The combination of pain, confusion, smoke and the blindfold had taken their toll and limited Callen's usual heightened sense of awareness. He panicked when Sam grabbed his arm. "Let me go!" he shouted, roughly pulling away and causing Sam's flashlight to clatter loudly to the floor.

"G, it's me, Sam. Calm down. We need to get you out of here."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Sam. You haven't forgotten me already, have you?" he asked, smiling in spite of their situation. His fingers were working to loosen the tightly tied blindfold and finally he succeeded. "There you go."

"How…how did you guys find me?" Callen asked, squinting at them through the sudden light from the flashlights and the smoke which was making his eyes water.

"I hate to interrupt this heartwarming reunion," Deeks said, "but we really need to get out of here, now." So far they had been lucky that the fire wasn't moving all that rapidly but that could change in a heartbeat. If the flames caught up with them, there would be no escape.

"Deeks is right," said Sam, his eyes on his sluggish partner. If he wasn't cuffed, he could have put his arms around their shoulders and leaned on them, but he was and they had no time to remove the handcuffs until they got outside. "Sorry, G, but we need to move quickly." He then proceeded to pick up his partner.

"What the hell, Sam! Put me down. I can walk," Callen protested loudly.

"Not fast enough," Sam said as he and Deeks rushed through the building towards the exit.

xxxxx

Page totally lost it when he saw the men emerge from the burning building. "Bastards!" he screamed, his face flushed with rage. "You should have let him burn! You're going to regret it! All of you will regret it. They should have let you die, Callen! Now they're going to die instead. You won't know when it's coming, but it will come. I'll kill all of them, Callen, your whole team and then, when your friends are dead, I'll come for you too! I'll punish you in ways you never dreamed of. You're going to pay! You're all going to pay! I have lots and lots of money. I can make it happen. You know I can."

"Don't listen to him, G," Sam said as he put him down and released him from the handcuffs. "Empty threats from a trapped man…nothing we haven't heard before."

Callen nodded, but it was clear that Page was getting to him and he was noticeably rattled as a result of Page's rants.

xxxxx

Kensi's eyes filled with tears when she saw the three men come out of the building. Their faces were blackened with soot and they looked worn out, but even Callen was walking, once Sam put him down. Except for their coughing, they looked to be unharmed, as far as she could tell. She badly wanted to run to Deeks and throw her arms around him, but instead, she crutched a few steps toward him and waited for him to come to her. "Thank God, you're okay," she whispered as he took her into his arms and held her tightly. "You are okay, aren't you?"

He nodded and cleared his throat, his voice hoarse. "Yeah, I'm okay, baby. "

"And Callen?" she asked, turning her gaze to where Sam was leading his partner to be checked out by one of the firefighters who had just arrived moments ago.

Deeks shrugged. "I don't know…I'm sure he took in some smoke, which isn't good, but hopefully he'll be alright…"

Kensi nodded and stared down at the ground.

"Hey…Kensalina? You understand why I went in there, right?" he asked, his blue eyes revealing his concern. "I couldn't let Sam go in there alone…" He shook his head, not wanting to think about how badly this could have ended, not only for Callen, but for him and Sam as well.

"Of course I understand Deeks," she said, looking to reassure him. "It doesn't mean I wasn't scared though…for all of you."

"I know," he said as he gently kissed her. "But I'm okay…everything's fine now. At least we finally got that son of a bitch."

"Mr. Deeks?" Hetty approached them as they separated. "I'd like you to go see the firefighter who is checking out Mr. Callen, just to make sure everything is alright with you."

Deeks shook his head. "I don't really need…"

"Deeks…just do it," Kensi interrupted softly. "I know I'd feel better if you did. You obviously took in some smoke too."

"Okay," he said, smiling at Kensi before he kissed her once again. "Anything to put your mind at ease."

"Thank you," Kensi said, returning his smile.

xxxxx

Callen sat with an oxygen mask over his face as the firefighter checked out Sam and Deeks. Sam had also draped a blanket around him to guard him against the chill of the night air. Every so often his gaze drifted to where Page and his brother were sitting under Granger's watchful eye. Page did not seem too upset at being caught, rather, he looked to be as smug as ever. Sometimes he would catch Callen watching him and would flash him a pompous smile. Callen was trying very hard to keep his emotions under wraps, but nothing was working and they were beginning to spiral out of his control. His heart was racing and he could feel his whole body trembling. Finally, he removed the oxygen mask, let the blanket drop to the ground and slowly walked over to the SUV. He casually looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to him and opened the passenger side door. He then reached into the glove compartment and pulled out the pistol he had put in there earlier. He checked to make sure it was loaded and determinedly began walking towards Page.

xxxxx

"Agent Callen…what do you think you're doing?" Granger asked, his tone conveying both authority and concern as he watched his agent approach Page with his pistol aimed directly at his chest.

As one, the members of the team turned their attention in Callen's direction when they heard Granger's voice. Sam immediately recognized that G was off…he was way off. The scene bore an eerie resemblance to when G had shot Marcel Janvier, except that had been staged and this was very real. He slowly began to walk towards his partner. "G? Come on buddy…you don't want to do this," he said gently.

Callen shook his head, appearing almost dazed. "Don…don't try to stop me, Sam," he whispered. "He wants to kill all of us. He…he has to be stopped. I…I'm not going to let him hurt anyone else…"

"Mr. Callen…" Hetty began, taking a step toward her agent.

"Hetty, don't," Sam said, shaking his head, not wanting anyone to spook his partner. "I've got this. "

"I was handcuffed and blindfolded…" Callen recited tremulously. "He trapped me in that mine…he tried to burn me up for no reason…I was just doing my job. His brother was a psychopathic killer and he is too…you can't do these things to people, Sam…he needs to be punished."

"He will be punished. We've got him, G. He can't hurt you now."

"You…you don't know that…" Callen's hands were noticeably shaking as he tried to keep the gun steady.

"Come on… You don't want to go to jail because of this scum, G… Don't throw your life away because of him," Sam pleaded. He was next to his partner now, but he didn't try to touch him. "G…Give me the gun, please?"

"It all goes back to him, Sam…Everything! Andy, the plane crash, Kensi and Deeks being hurt…it was all him!" Callen's voice broke and he shook his head, his eyes fixed solely on the object of his hatred. "He doesn't deserve to live. He needs to die. I…I want him dead."

"This is what he wants…if you do this, you won't have any kind of a life. Do you want to be in prison with people like him? We won't be able to work together anymore…come on, buddy…I don't know what I'll do if I don't have you for a partner. You're my best friend, G…please…"

Callen squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back tears, but a few escaped and trickled down his cheeks. After a few long moments of tense anticipation, he lowered his weapon. He then just stood there, looking lost, as Granger removed the gun from his grasp. Finally, he collapsed exhaustedly against Sam, burying his face into his partner's chest. Sam put one arm around his partner and gently stroked his head with his free hand. "Everything's going to be okay, G…" he murmured soothingly. "I promise you it will be okay."

"What a pussy!" Page said cackling loudly. "I don't know why you'd even want him as a partner. He's a total wuss."

"If you know what's good for you, you'll stop talking right now," Granger said harshly.

Sam felt Callen's body tense up in his arms and he tried to lead him away. "Come on, G…you don't need to listen to this…"

Callen pulled back from his partner and he walked alone towards where the fire engines were parked. His head was lowered towards the ground and he didn't meet anyone's eyes. When he reached the first engine, he slumped back against it, looking utterly beaten and dejected.

Hetty walked over to Sam and spoke to him in a hushed tone. "We need to get him out of here, Mr. Hanna. Check with the firefighter to be sure it's safe for you to do so, then take him back to the hospital," Hetty said, sending a sorrowful look towards her broken boy. She didn't want to cause him further stress by having him transferred in an ambulance if he didn't need to be. He was better off just riding with his partner. She was inwardly cursing herself for having allowed this to happen. She had known it wasn't a good idea. Even Owen had known it was a bad idea, but she had allowed Callen to get his own way when he was sick and unable to make a rational decision. It had been up to her to put her foot down, but she had failed and now he was paying the price. She should have known better.


	35. Chapter 35

_I'm so sorry for the long delay with this. My muse is taking off in so many directions these days and this story was getting the short end of the stick, but I finally managed to get somewhat focused on it again. As always, thank you so much for reading and reviewing_ J

xxxxx

Sam glanced at his partner who was huddled against the door of the SUV, wrapped in the blanket which the firefighter insisted he take. Every so often he would have spells of shivering which Sam was pretending not to notice. They had been in the vehicle for a good 15 minutes and neither of them had uttered a word.

"You doing okay?" Sam finally asked, just wanting to break the silence.

"I'm fine."

'Well that was productive,' Sam thought as he sighed softly to himself. "Is there anywhere you want to go before I take you back to the hospital?"

"Where would we go at this time of night or morning or whatever the hell it is?" Callen asked.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know, G…just thought I'd ask. We could go to a convenience store and you could get junk food to your heart's content. We could stash it in the nightstand in your room. I wouldn't say a word about it."

"No thanks," Callen replied, but then after another long silence developed between the two men he reconsidered. "There is one place you could take me."

"Where?" Sam asked. "24-hour breakfast place?"

"You could take me home."

"Yeah right," Sam chuckled then looked at his partner who was staring back at him. "Wait…you're serious?"

Callen nodded. "Please, Sam? I don't want to be here anymore."

"I can't do that, G…you can't just leave, man… You're on medicines. You're nowhere near being recovered yet. Not to mention, it's like a 16 or 17 hour drive without stops. You're not up for that. I'm not really up for it either."

"Well you shouldn't have asked then," Callen said grumpily.

"Sorry, I didn't expect you would want to go for such an insanely long drive… It's a bit of an unreasonable request."

"We could spend the night at a hotel…sleep for a few hours, and then leave…"

"And not tell anyone? You know how worried they've been about you, G? How upset they would be if we pulled a stunt like that? You're not thinking clearly. You have sepsis…you need to be on antibiotics and you need to have your lungs checked out after being in that fire." Not to mention whatever PTSD issues Callen had going on which Sam was starting to believe were pretty serious. He was a far cry from his normal self.

"Fine, Sam, fine. I'll go back to the hospital. You can stop nagging me about it."

Sam didn't even know what to say to his partner whose emotions seemed to change by the second. He decided it was best just to go along with him and not make waves. "I'm sorry that I can't do what you want, G…You know I'd take you home if I could," he said quietly.

Callen sighed and turned his head to gaze out the passenger door window. "Yeah, Sam…I know you would," he said with a weary sigh. The minute he had asked Sam to take him home, he had known it was absurd, but he'd been unable to back down. Feeling both physically and mentally exhausted, he closed his eyes and was asleep almost immediately.

xxxxx

"Well, that was a ton of fun," Deeks said to Kensi. The two were seated in the back of Granger's rental. Granger was driving and Hetty was seated beside him in the front seat.

"I never saw Callen like that," Kensi said, shaking her head. "I actually thought he was going to shoot Page."

"Would it have been so bad if he did?" Deeks asked with a shrug. "Maybe it would have given him the closure that he needed."

"Yes, it would have been bad, Deeks," Kensi protested. "Do you want Callen to go to prison?"

Deeks shook his head. "Of course not, but do you really think that would have happened, Kensi? After everything that's gone down, what judge would have put him in prison? He could have easily pleaded temporary insanity and gotten off. Hell, I could have gotten him off."

Kensi leaned her head back against the seat with a soft sigh. "I still think that would have done more harm than good to his emotional state. He's a mess right now."

"Well, I guess we can agree to disagree then," Deeks said, sure that he was right. He really wished that Page hadn't allowed himself to be overcome so easily. It would have been much more satisfying if he'd attempted to escape or had raised a gun to them so they could have taken him down permanently. The son of a bitch didn't deserve to live.

xxxxx

Sam sat in the front seat of the parked SUV just listening to the soft breathing of his partner who was still fast asleep beside him. He really didn't want to wake him, especially because he never knew, from one moment to the next, what Callen's mood would be. Finally, he leaned over and gently shook Callen's shoulder. "Hey buddy…we're back at the hospital."

Callen tried to respond to his partner and open his eyes, but it seemed much easier to keep them closed. Sam was persistent though and shook his shoulder again.

"Come on G… Unless you want me to go get someone to transfer you in on a gurney or you want me to carry you, you need to wake up."

"I'm awake, Sam," Callen mumbled as he finally managed to force his eyes open. He shifted his body away from the door and back into a more normal seated position as he looked over at his partner.

"You doing okay?" Sam asked, forcing himself not to reach over and feel G's forehead, knowing it would just set him off.

"I'm good."

"Okay…I guess we should get in there then. Can you walk?"

"Yes, I can walk," Callen said. He opened the door and stepped outside. His body reacted almost immediately to the cold night air and he started to shiver. He hadn't realized how warm the inside of the car had been.

"Guess you really cranked the heat up in there," he said as they started to walk towards the entrance to the ER. "You think I can just go back up to my room?"

"Sorry, G…I'm pretty sure you need to get checked out first."

"I don't see why," Callen said. "We weren't gone that long."

Sam glanced at his partner and decided not to go into the whole smoke inhalation thing. "I don't know. I guess we'll find out when we get inside."

xxxxx

After Granger dropped them off at the hotel, Hetty went off to her room and Deeks and Kensi went to theirs. "Oh man, it's good to be back here." Deeks looked longingly at the sofa, but didn't want to sit on it with the strong smoke smell attached to him. "I'm going to take a shower," he stated.

Kensi nodded and smiled. "That's probably a good idea."

He tiredly returned her smile and headed into the bathroom to shower. The hot water pelting down on him from the massaging shower head felt incredibly good after the events of the night. He stayed in the shower for a good 20 minutes before he finally forced himself out, dried himself off and put on a pair of clean sweatpants.

"I thought you had drowned in there," Kensi said, watching Deeks as he came into the bedroom. She was lying in bed, against a mountain of pillows, looking extremely comfortable.

"I was just reaping the luxuries of the shower," Deeks said as he climbed into bed, under the crisp, cool sheets beside her. "This feels so good...I am so tired."

"I'm sure you are," Kensi said as she burrowed in closer to him and he put his arm around her. "It was a very long night, but at least Page is behind bars now where he belongs."

Deeks thought there were better places for him to be, like six feet under, but he kept his thoughts to himself, not wanting to upset Kensi. "Let's get some sleep, baby," he said as he reached for the lamp on the nightstand by their bed and turned it off.

xxxxx

"Am I going to go to prison?" Alyssa asked tremulously.

The girl was obviously terrified and Granger couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "There's a lot of evidence to go over before any decisions on charges against you will be made," he said. "Agent Callen will also have a lot of input into the decision."

"I…I did try to help him. Not at first, but then I felt bad for him…he didn't deserve what my uncle did to him. I never really realized how crazy he was…I just didn't understand…" Alyssa's hands were clenched on the table and she kept nervously moving them, clenching and unclenching, seemingly unable to keep still.

"We understand that he coerced you into doing a lot of what you did…that will be taken into account. Also, any information you can give us against your uncle will be helpful."

Alyssa's eyes widened in fright as she looked at Granger. "You don't want me to testify against him in court, do you?" she asked. "I…I don't know that I could do that…"

"He threatened you, didn't he?" Granger asked. "All you're going to have to do is tell the truth."

She shook her head. "But…he'll be there listening? I don't know…he has people working for him everywhere…there's really no way to escape him…"

Granger sighed to himself, privately agreeing with Deeks' opinion that it would have been a hell of a lot easier if Page was dead.

xxxxx

They walked into the ER and Sam escorted Callen to a seat then proceeded over to the front desk to discuss the situation. He returned to Callen a couple minutes later. He could see that he looked flushed and knew he was running a fever. He shook his head as he inwardly wondered what any of them had been thinking to have allowed Callen to do this. "I need a shower," he said as he sat down next to his partner. They both positively reeked of smoke.

"You and me both," Callen said. "So…what did they say?"

"They're going to see if Dr. Hathaway is here and take it from there."

"Great…"

"You're the one who wanted to do this, G," Sam said. He was tired and irritable and unable to keep the words inside.

Callen glared at his partner. "Really not in the mood for a lecture right now."

"I'm not lecturing you."

"Fine, don't."

"I won't."

"Good."

Feeling a bit like a middle-schooler, trying to get the last word in against his worse for wear partner, Sam forced himself to remain quiet. "I'm going to go get some water," he said after a few moments of silence. He walked over to the vending machines and returned a couple of minutes later with two bottles, one of which he handed to Callen.

"Thank you," Callen said as he took the water from Sam. He immediately opened it and took a couple of long sips. The water felt very soothing as it trickled down his irritated throat. "That's really good."

Sam nodded and the two lapsed back into silence again. Finally, Sam decided to see if he could get his partner to open up at all about what had happened. "So, G…I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but…"

Callen quickly interrupted him. "You're right, Sam. I don't. I can't, not right now." Maybe not ever, he added to himself.

"You know you're going to have to talk at some point."

"Fine, at some point, but not now. I have a headache. I really don't want to discuss this, alright?"

Callen was obviously agitated and Sam quickly backed off. "Okay, calm down, G. I'm sorry. We don't have to discuss it right now."

"It's freezing in this place," Callen said as he closed his eyes and pulled the blanket more tightly around him. "Where's the stupid doctor anyway?"

"The stupid doctor is right here, Mr. Callen."

Callen looked abashed as he opened his eyes and he saw the grim-faced doctor standing in front of him There was an orderly beside him with a wheelchair. The flushing on Callen's cheeks deepened to an even redder color. "Sorry…" he mumbled.

"Please have a seat in the wheelchair. We're going to bring you to an examination room to be checked out and then send you for a chest x-ray."

Callen silently did as the doctor directed. He didn't really want to aggravate the man any more than he already was. Pissing off medical personnel was never a very good idea in his experience. They had too many means of torture at their disposal. He glanced at Sam who gave him a reassuring smile and then felt the wheelchair begin to move as he was pushed through the ER.


	36. Chapter 36

_Thanks so much for your reviews, words of encouragement and patience in waiting for this chapter. I had such a hard time with it, but finally managed to get going again._

xxxxx

Callen underwent the doctor's examination and subsequent chest x-ray without a word unless he was asked a direct question. He was then brought back up to his room. He had somehow lost Sam along the way and decided to take advantage of the alone time to shower before anyone tried to stop him. He locked himself into the bathroom and quickly showered, feeling much better after he was clean. He then toweled himself dry and put on a fresh johnny and robe. After that, he went back into his room where, of course, Sam was waiting for him. Irritated by the situation and his headache, which was still persisting, he ignored his partner and silently climbed back onto the bed and got under the covers.

"Have a nice shower, G?" Sam asked with a neutral expression on his face.

Callen nodded. "I did. You should probably head back to your hotel and take one yourself. It makes a world of difference."

"I just want to hear what the doctor has to say, then I'll get out of your hair, if that's what you want," Sam stated. Callen was safe now. He didn't have to stay with him to protect him. They were obviously getting on each other's nerves. Maybe some time away from each other was what they both needed right now.

"Do what you want, Sam. You always do," Callen retorted.

"I could say the same about you," Sam commented.

They glared at each other and luckily, at that moment, Dr. Hathaway entered the room. "Am I interrupting something?" the doctor asked, looking at Sam and then at Callen.

Callen shook his head. "No…everything's fine. So, what did you find out?"

"Your chest x-ray looks clear. We'll take another one in 24 hours to make sure. Sometimes, any possible damage takes a day or two to show up."

Callen nodded as he forced himself not to roll his eyes. He wanted to protest what he thought was the doctor being very overly cautious, but he decided it was best to just go along with it.

"Not surprisingly, your temperature is elevated again, but that's what happens when you leave the hospital AMA and go running off into fires." Dr. Hathaway paused, but neither Sam nor Callen said a word. "I'm going to have them start another IV on you for your medicines and get some fluids into you as well. You're a little bit dehydrated."

"Thanks, doctor," Callen said.

Dr. Hathaway looked like he wanted to say something more, but after a few moments of silence he headed towards the door. "I'll be back to check on you in a few hours when I do my rounds."

Callen nodded and then, feeling very tired, he stretched out on the bed. "You should go, Sam," he murmured as he let his eyes close. "Go back to the hotel, shower and get some sleep…" Sam sat with his partner for a few more minutes, just watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Satisfied that he was sleeping peacefully, he decided that Callen's words actually made a lot of sense and he decided to go back to the hotel to get some rest.

xxxxx

 _Callen entered the room, immediately noting how eerie it was. There were cobwebs floating down from the ceiling and a cold chill in the air. He could feel his heartbeat speeding up as he noted the blanket covering what appeared to be a body in the middle of the room._

 _"Agent Callen…it was good of you to come," Jonathan Page stepped out of the shadows and Callen had to fight his first urge which was to step away from the man._

 _"What do you want, Page?" he asked._

 _Page chortled diabolically. His eyes were practically glowing and he had almost a demonic look to him._

 _"What do you want?" Callen repeated, fighting to stay calm._

 _Page pointed to the bundle on the floor. "It's not what I want…it's what you have come to see…"_

 _Callen unsuccessfully fought against the anxiety he could feel assaulting him._

 _"Look at it," Page urged him, ghoulishly. "Do It!"_

 _Callen swallowed hard as he approached the blanket, filled with an impending sense of doom. He then bent down and reached for it, his hand trembling as he pulled it up from the floor. Underneath the blanket, cold and still and very obviously dead, was Sam. There was so much blood. Callen couldn't even tell what the cause of death was._

 _"No." He backed away as Page began laughing uproariously. This couldn't be true. Sam couldn't be dead. "He can't be dead…he can't be…" he shook his head, but even as he tried to deny it, he knew that it was true._

 _"You should have killed me when you had the chance, Agent Callen," Page said, ominously. "Now, it will only get worse for you. I'm going to kill them all, your entire team. The eccentric little woman you work for, the guy that looks like a surfer dude, the pretty woman with the broken leg, unless I decide to keep her for myself, the computer geeks…all of them and it will be your fault because you could have killed me, but you didn't and now they will all pay."_

xxxxx

"No, no, no, no, no…!"

"He can't be dead, he can't be dead, he can't be dead…" Callen picked up the phone on the nightstand and dialed Sam's cell phone number. "Pick up, pick up, pick up…no, no, no, no, no…" Callen's whole body was shaking as he redialed Sam's number and once again began to chant "no, no, no, no, no…" This time, when there was no answer, in a fit of rage, he yanked the jack out of the phone and threw it across the room, almost hitting Granger, who had just entered, in the process.

xxxxx

"Good morning, Deeks," Sam said to his sleepy-sounding teammate as he answered the phone.

"Hey, what's up, Sam?" Deeks replied as he tried to gain some semblance of alertness.

"Damn…I woke you guys up, didn't I? I'm really sorry. I wasn't even thinking."

"We were awake," Deeks fibbed. "Is everything okay? How's Callen?"

"I'm actually here at the hotel," Sam answered. "He seems to be doing alright. We needed to take a break from each other."

Deeks nodded. "Well that's certainly understandable. Things have been so tense lately and you've been together constantly. You're bound to need a little bit of separation."

I was wondering if you wanted to maybe get some breakfast before I head back to the hospital?" Sam asked.

"Sure," Deeks mouthed the word breakfast to Kensi who nodded. "Where do you want to meet?"

"You know what's around here better than I do," Sam said. Pretty much the only breakfast place he had gone to was the one that sold the mouth-watering pastries.

"Well, ironically, there's a great little diner Kensi and I discovered one day, called Sam's Place. We picked it based on the name alone and it was really good."

"Of course it was," Sam said, smiling. "What time can you be ready? I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Half hour?" Deeks asked, looking at Kensi who nodded.

"Sounds good, see you guys soon."

xxxxx

"Problem, Agent Callen?" Granger asked as he bent down and picked up the phone off the floor.

"You don't belong here," Callen shouted. "Get out."

"There are other patients here. You might want to keep it down. You don't want to disturb them."

Granger couldn't help but notice that the younger man looked to be very upset and on the verge of tears. This was definitely not his field of expertise, but he was the only one here. He vaguely wondered where Sam had gone. The two were usually joined at the hip. "Come on, Callen. Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

Callen shook his head. "You can't help. No one can. I don't want you here, Granger. Get out or I'll kill you like I should have killed him!"

Now they were getting somewhere although Granger was more than a little bit disturbed by the threat and the totally inappropriate way Callen was acting. "Who should you have killed? Page?"

"I should kill you…" Callen said, his voice breaking. "You wouldn't let me kill him and now Sam's dead. It's because of you."

Granger's eyes widened in disbelief. "Callen…I don't know why you think that, but Sam is fine. Trust me on this, he's very much alive."

"You're a liar!" Callen yelled. "I know he's dead. I know Page is running around out there and that he killed him."

"That's not true."

"It is true! I saw his body. I saw the blood. I saw his dead eyes staring into nothingness. I know he's dead. Get the fuck out of here!"

At that moment, Dr. Hathaway slowly walked into the room. "What's going on?" he asked, keeping his voice calm.

Callen ignored the doctor so Granger answered. "He thinks Sam is dead."

"He is DEAD!"

Granger shook his head, speaking quietly to the doctor. "There's something very wrong with him. He doesn't act out like this. This isn't him at all. I think he may be having some kind of a breakdown."

"Whisper, whisper, whisper," Callen mocked. "Always with the secrets."

Dr. Hathaway nodded and lowered his voice further. I'm going to call for a psych consult. Are you okay with him for right now or do you want me to get a sitter? I can also have him restrained if you want."

Granger quickly shook his head. "No. That's not necessary. I'm going to try to track down Sam and get him over here."

Dr. Hathaway nodded. "Okay. Just buzz if you need help in here."

Granger nodded and pulled out his cell phone to call Sam. "Sam, its Granger. We have a bit of a situation here at the hospital. If you can come here as soon as you get this message, I'd appreciate it. It's important."

Callen scoffed when he heard Granger leaving the message. "Maybe you can give my mom and my sister a call while you're at it. I'd like to talk to some dead people today too. You should start your own new side business, Owen Granger's Hotline to Heaven…or Hell, depending on who your clients are speaking to."

Granger ignored Callen and picked up the phone again, this time dialing Hetty's number.

xxxxx

Hetty was sitting on the sofa in her room, having her morning cup of tea, when the telephone rang.

"Where the hell is Hanna?" Granger's voice came over the phone as she put it to her ear.

"Well, good morning to you too, Owen," Hetty said. "I'd assume that Sam is with Mr. Callen. Do you need him for something?"

"He's not with Callen. I'm with Callen who is under the impression that Sam is dead and he's not doing very well."

"Oh I see," Hetty said, looking concerned. "How bad is the situation?"

His doctor is getting him a psych consult if that tells you anything," Granger said.

Hetty sighed as she put her cup of tea on the coffee table and got up from the sofa. "I will see if Sam is in his room and I'll be there shortly."

"Thank you, Henrietta," Granger said.

"You're welcome," Hetty said as she clicked off the phone. She shook her head as she went to get her purse and a sweater. She hated that there was now another setback for Callen to overcome. She wondered if things were ever going to get better for her boy.

xxxxx

After Granger had spoken to Hetty, Callen had huddled under the covers and pulled them over his head, effectively blocking Granger from his sight. Feeling very out of his element in coping with the current situation, Granger didn't think he had ever been as happy to see Hetty as he did when she came through the door.

"Thank God you're here," he said to her. "You didn't reach Sam?"

Hetty shook her head grimly as her eyes traveled to her head agent who was buried under the blankets like a child.

"This is just fantastic," Granger said as he rubbed his temples. "I really thought when we caught Page things were going to get better."

"You didn't catch him," Callen said in a muffled voice from underneath the covers.

Granger rolled his eyes and looked at Hetty. "You think you can do something about this, Henrietta?"

Hetty sighed as she approached Callen and gently began to rub his back. "Mr. Callen…I assure you that Page is behind bars and Sam is perfectly alive and well. We just don't know where he is at the moment."

"I don't believe you."

"What if I get a picture sent of Page in custody?" Granger asked, grasping at straws. "Will that convince you?"

"No. I'm not stupid. It's perfectly simple for you to have Eric send a Photoshopped picture. I know all your little tricks."

Granger threw his arms up in the air and sighed loudly. "Where the hell is the psych consult?" he muttered.

"I don't need a psych consult."

"Like hell you don't."

Hetty shook her head. "Owen, is fighting with him really a productive use of your time?"

"What about Kensi and Deeks?" Granger asked Hetty. "Have you talked to them? Maybe they know where Sam is."

"No, I haven't talked to them. I assumed you had called them."

"Well, I haven't. I was dealing with this." A frustrated Granger waved his hand in the air over Callen's blanket covered body.

"I don't see that anger is going to help matters any," Hetty said.

"I'll call Deeks," Granger said. He very badly wanted to leave the room, but he was afraid to leave Hetty alone with Callen under the present circumstances. He didn't think his agent would hurt her, but he really wasn't sure.

xxxxx

"That was excellent," Sam smiled as he patted his very full stomach. "Sam's Place lives up to its name."

"This place really is good," Kensi agreed. "So, what do you have planned for today?"

"I'm going to bring G his breakfast." He nodded at the brown paper bag containing the breakfast special he had ordered for his partner. "Neither of us was in a very good mood when I left. Hopefully, this will help smooth things over."

"I'm sure it will, Sam," Kensi said. "It was a very long night and a lot happened. It's been a very bad last couple of weeks. Look at all the stress you've been under."

Sam nodded. He knew that Kensi was right and that his partner, especially, had been going through hell. He began to feel guilty for not having a bit more patience with him and for leaving him alone. "I should get back to the hospital."

Just then, Deeks' cell phone rang. "It's Granger," Deeks informed Kensi and Sam before clicking on his phone. "Hey Granger, what's up?"

"I don't suppose you've seen Hanna this morning, have you?" Granger asked.

"As a matter of fact, Kensi and I just finished having breakfast with him. He's right here."

"Put him on the phone!" Granger barked.

Deeks handed the phone over the table to Sam. "He's in a pissy mood," Deeks whispered.

"Hey Granger," Sam said after he took the phone from Deeks.

"I'm not going to get into a long explanation, but can you please come to the hospital now? Your partner thinks that you're dead and we can't convince him that you're not."

"He what?" Sam asked incredulously. "Well, let me talk to him."

"Just come here, Sam. I really think that's the only way he's going to believe you're alive."

"I'll be right there," said Sam as he clicked the phone off and handed it to Deeks. "G thinks I'm dead," he explained to his younger teammates as he stood up. "I've got to get to the hospital right away to convince him that I'm not."


	37. Chapter 37

_Just wanted to give a shout out to: JaniceS, Country Girl, ss171, Dramamama5, SnoopGirl69, sassyzazzi, Skippy, knirbenrots, French Fan, Petunia3116,_ Max and Fern 4ever, cjanff, DS2010,and throughelookingglass27 Thanks _for all your nice comments for the last chapter. Also, some of you have been incredibly loyal to a story that took a lot of turns from where I first intended it to go. I really appreciate you sticking with it and reviewing these MANY chapters. As for this chapter, I've done a bit of research for it, but I'm definitely not perfect, nor do I have any psych training except a psychology 101 course many, many, many years ago lol. In any case, enjoy :)_

xxxxx

Granger was waiting in the hallway outside of Callen's room when Sam arrived. "Granger, what happened?" Sam asked. "Why does G think I'm dead?"

Granger shook his head. "I don't know, Sam. I have no idea. I got here a while ago to check on him and he was unraveling. He threw a phone, insisted you were dead…maybe he was dreaming…I don't know…"

"I shouldn't have left him," Sam said, the guilt apparent on his face.

"Don't worry about that now, Sam," Granger said. "Just…he's in rough shape. Go let him know that you're okay."

Sam nodded and made his way into the room. Hetty gave him a trace of a smile. "There's someone here to see you, Mr. Callen," she said. "I think you're going to be very happy to see him."

"I don't want to see anyone," Callen said, his voice trembling as he spoke. "Make him go away."

Hetty got up and let Sam have her place beside Callen. "G? G…it's me, Sam."

Callen didn't respond. Sam looked at Hetty, unsure of what to do. "G…I'm going to take this blanket off you, okay?" When his partner didn't answer, Sam tentatively began to remove the blanket from over Callen's head. His face was buried in the pillow, but he didn't protest what Sam had done. "G?" Sam gently placed his hand on Callen's shoulder . "What's going on, buddy?"

Still nothing.

"G?"

"Go away," Callen said, his voice muted by the pillow.

"But…" Sam shook his head and looked at Hetty for guidance. She cautiously approached her agent. "Mr. Callen…Sam is here. He's alive…That's a good thing, isn't it?"

Callen slowly turned onto his side, in clear-cut pain from the movement. His face was wet from tears and his eyes were bloodshot. Looking bewildered, he stared back at Sam. "I…" he shook his head. "I saw your body…you're dead."

Sam smiled as he grabbed Callen's hand and held it tightly. "I'm not dead, partner. I'm right here. I'm alive."

"I don't understand. This makes no sense." Callen roughly pulled his hand from Sam's grasp.

Sam's smile faded quickly. This wasn't how he had expected things to go. "Somehow I thought you'd be a little happier to see me."

A knock sounded on the door and Dr. Hathaway entered, followed by another man, approximately in his early 60s. "How are you doing, Mr. Callen?" Dr. Hathaway asked, looking compassionately at his patient.

"I…I'm fine," Callen said as he lowered his eyes to the bed.

"This is Dr. Scanlon," Dr. Hathaway introduced the other doctor to Callen. "He's a psychiatrist on staff here." He then proceeded to introduce the others as well.

Dr. Scanlon greeted Granger, Hetty and Sam, then focused his attention on Callen. "It's good to meet you, Mr. Callen. I'd like to talk to you for a bit, if you don't mind."

"What if I do mind? I'm guessing I don't really have a choice in this," Callen said as he guardedly moved into a sitting position and crossed his arms across his chest. His eyes quickly swept over the room and he knew from the looks on Granger's and Hetty's faces that he didn't.

"Trust me, Mr. Callen," said Dr. Scanlon. "This will be relatively painless."

"I don't trust a lot of people, and the word relatively doesn't really inspire confidence," Callen said uneasily, "but I guess we should get this show on the road."

xxxxx

The room cleared out quickly, leaving Callen and Dr. Scanlon alone. "So…how are you doing with everything?" Dr. Scanlon asked. "A lot of bad things have happened to you in a short period of time."

"No big deal…"

"Really…" Dr. Scanlon said. "From my point of view, it would seem to be a very big deal."

Callen shrugged, saying nothing.

"So…how are you doing with your physical symptoms?"

"I'm good."

"Are you experiencing a lot of pain?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"How about emotionally?"

"I'm not crazy," Callen snapped.

"I'm not a big fan of that word, but even if I was, I certainly wouldn't use it to describe you."

"I know what psych consults are," Callen said, glaring at the doctor. "I'm not stupid either."

"I didn't say you were stupid," Dr. Scanlon answered calmly. "That's another word I don't particularly like."

Callen sighed wearily. "Whatever."

The doctor decided to change the direction of the conversation. "I heard you caused a bit of a scene here earlier."

"I found out my partner was dead. He…he was my best friend." Callen said. "I was upset. I believe, understandably so."

"So you must be very happy now that you know he's alive," Dr. Scanlon said.

Callen shifted his position, but remained silent.

"Aren't you? Aren't you happy he's alive?"

"He's not…" Callen whispered, his eyes filling.

"He's not alive?" Dr. Scanlon questioned carefully, keeping his expression neutral.

Callen shook his head, looking sorrowful. "No…he's not alive…"

The doctor talked to Callen for about a half hour. Callen spoke as little as he could get away with. Some questions he would answer with a word or two and others he would avoid altogether. Dr. Scanlon finally decided to end the session, seeing that his patient was getting fatigued and he wasn't really getting anywhere with him anyway. "I'll be back to see you tomorrow," he said. "Do I have your permission to speak with your superiors about our sessions?"

Callen looked at Dr. Scanlon warily. "Why? So they can fire me?"

Dr. Scanlon quickly shook his head. "No, of course not. There's nothing I've learned here that would result in you losing your job."

"Fine…you can talk to them," Callen agreed with a soft sigh.

"And your partner?"

"What about my partner…He…he's dead…"

"If he was here though, would you allow me to talk to him about what we discussed?"

Callen nodded sadly. "Yes, of course. I trusted Sam with my life. He was my brother."

xxxxx

Dr. Scanlon left Callen and went out to the small waiting room where Hetty, Granger and Sam were waiting. There was no one else in the room so they would be able to speak confidentially. "How is he?" Sam asked when the doctor approached them.

"Well, I don't believe he poses a threat to himself or others."

"Of course he doesn't," Sam said. "Unless he needs to defend himself or others…then it's a whole different story."

"He still believes you're dead," Dr. Scanlon informed Sam.

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief then he slowly shook his head. "That can't be. He saw me…I talked with him…He knows I'm alive."

"No. Although he may have seen you, he still doesn't believe it."

Hetty and Granger exchanged a concerned look as Sam sighed heavily. "That's not good," Sam said.

"Has he ever exhibited symptoms like this before?" Dr. Scanlon asked.

Hetty shook her head. "Mr. Callen has always been extremely emotionally strong under the worst of circumstances. This is very much out of the norm for him."

Sam nodded in agreement. "I've worked with him for 10 years and I've never seen him act this way."

Dr. Scanlon nodded. "That pretty much confirms what I'm thinking. I believe he is suffering from what is termed as a brief psychotic disorder. It's short term with symptoms that can last anywhere from a few hours until a month at the most. It's usually caused by such things as extreme emotional stress, an accident, illness, traumatic event or the death of a loved one. From what I've read in his records, he has undergone extreme circumstances in a very short period of time, which would be a very likely trigger for what's happened to him. There can be a variety of symptoms falling under this umbrella, including being uncooperative, physical or verbal aggression, depressed mood, hallucinations, delusions, nightmares, disorientation, poor insight, among many others. Your friend is actually exhibiting fairly mild symptoms right now compared to what could be going on with him."

"He really hasn't been himself since he was abducted and left for dead in the mine," Sam said. "I don't think he believed he was going to get out of there alive. It really seemed to do a number on him."

Dr. Scanlon nodded. "That makes sense. It was likely very traumatic for him."

"So, how is this condition treated?" Hetty asked.

"Well, Dr. Hathaway and I have spoken at length and as Mr. Callen is still exhibiting symptoms from the sepsis, release from the hospital is not yet an option. We'll see how he does over the next few days. Hopefully, he's going to stay put, with no more field trips. He needs to rest, to eat, to regain his strength without any more drama or anything happening to him."

"I can assure you, he won't be going on any more field trips," Granger commented gruffly. "And the perpetrators are behind bars. They won't be bothering him."

"We'll make sure he's safe," said Hetty.

Dr. Scanlon continued. "Well, that's a definite plus. Drug therapy could be initiated, but I'm reluctant to start that right now, unless his symptoms are exacerbated or prolonged. I will continue to talk with him and suggest you do the same. In the long term, it may benefit him to have sessions with a licensed psychologist, but that's nothing we need to address at the moment." He turned to Sam. "I think it's extremely important for you, especially, to be there for him as much as you can. You seem to be very important to him."

"Of course," Sam said earnestly as he nodded. "He's important to me as well. I'll do whatever it takes to get G better."

Dr. Scanlon smiled. "I can see that he has a lot of support. That will be helpful."

"What if his symptoms persist beyond the one month mark?" Hetty asked.

"I'd prefer not to even think about that possibility at the moment," Dr. Scanlon said. "Better not to borrow trouble. Let's just take it day-by-day for the time being and cross other bridges if we get to them."

xxxxx

"Hey Sam…" Deeks greeted the agent who was sitting in the waiting area by Callen's room. "How's Callen doing?"

Sam shook his head, offering a faint smile to Kensi who leaned her crutches against a chair and sat down next to him. "He still thinks I'm dead."

Deeks and Kensi exchanged a glance. "You haven't talked to him yet?" Deeks asked.

"Oh I've talked to him," Sam said with a sigh.

"But…" Kensi began, looking perplexed.

"The doctor says he has some kind of psychotic disorder, supposedly temporary," Sam explained. "I just don't know. Hetty and Granger are in with him now. "

"So, you talked to him, but he still doesn't believe you're alive?" Deeks asked, still struggling to understand what he was being told.

"Yep."

"That doesn't make sense, Sam," Kensi said. "Did he just ignore you?"

"No. He talked to me, but the doctor said he still thinks I'm dead."

"Maybe the doctor got it wrong," Kensi said. "When Granger and Hetty come out, the three of us will go in there. We'll straighten Callen out."

"We can try," said Sam glumly, but he didn't look particularly optimistic.

Deeks sat next to Kensi and the three made idle small talk until Hetty and Granger came out of Callen's room a short while later.

"Hello Mr. Deeks, Ms. Blye," Hetty said, greeting the two junior team members. "How are the two of you doing today?"

"We're good, Hetty," Deeks replied. "How's Callen?"

"He's asleep right now," Hetty told them.

"Does he still think Sam is dead?" Kensi asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Granger said, joining in the conversation. "He seems rather adamant about it."

"I'm still not getting this," Deeks said. "It's absurd, especially for Callen of all people."

"Psychiatric disorders do not discriminate," Hetty said. "Mr. Callen has gone through a great deal and unfortunately, it has had a bigger effect on him than we could have imagined."

"Well, that sucks," Deeks said.

"Indeed it does, Mr. Deeks," remarked Hetty, unable to hold back a bit of a smile at Deeks' words, "but he has a very good support system. Hopefully, he will get through this."

"I'm going to go in there now," Sam said as he stood up. "I want to be there when he wakes up. Maybe it will help."

"Do you want me and Kensi to go with you, Sam?" Deeks asked.

"I don't know… I wonder if Its better for me to be alone with him at first…"

"Alright…we'll wait for you here. Just let us know when you want us to come in."

Sam nodded. "Thanks…I'll do that…"

xxxxx

While sitting by Callen's bedside, Sam began to research his partner's condition on Callen's laptop. He read the symptoms repeatedly, odd or uncharacteristic behavior, false ideas, hearing and seeing things that weren't real… At least Callen wasn't experiencing strange speech or language. Sam took heart when he read most people had a good outcome, but then began to experience doubt when he read about possible complications including violence and suicide. "You've got to get through this, partner," Sam whispered, looking at his friend with great concern.

Sam had been in Callen's room for about an hour when his partner began to stir. Sam unconsciously held his breath, making no move to talk to or touch Callen. Finally, his eyes opened and he stared at Sam, looking extremely unsettled. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and continued to stare. After what seemed to be a very long time, but probably was only a couple of minutes, Sam could not keep silent any longer. "Aren't you going to say anything?" he asked.

"You…you're alive?" Callen asked tremulously.

Sam breathed a sigh of relief as he took Callen's hand and squeezed it firmly. "Yes, I'm alive, buddy. I'm right here."

"I…" Callen shook his head, looking extremely troubled. "But…"

"You must have been dreaming, G." Sam didn't want to mention the possibility that he might have been hallucinating. "I'm sure that it seemed very real to you. But, I'm alive and I'm okay. I promise you I am."

Callen's eyes began to tear up and he quickly squeezed them closed although a few tears managed to escape and trickle down his cheeks. "I…I believed it, Sam," he said as he opened his eyes again and focused them back on his partner, his breathing beginning to quicken. "I believed that you were dead…you…you looked so bad."

"Come on, G. Don't give in to this okay? Slow your breathing, calm yourself down. Everything's going to be okay. I promise you. It was not real."

Callen nodded as he focused on what Sam was saying and made a conscious effort to control his breathing. He then looked around for some water, but he didn't see any. "I'm really thirst. Can…can I have some water?" he asked as he licked his lips which were parched.

"Yeah…I'll be right back." Sam rushed out of the room to the vending machine where he got a bottle of water. He didn't want to waste time going to the kitchen to get a pitcher. He was afraid he would return to Callen's room only to have his partner refusing to believe he was alive once again.

Sam returned to Callen's bedside and was happy to see him sitting up and appearing more composed. He silently handed him the bottle of water. "Thanks," Callen said as he twisted off the cover and took a long sip.

"No problem."

"So…Callen began, his eyes zeroing in on Sam's, "that shrink never said what's wrong with me. Do you know?"

"G…I really don't think I should be talking to you about this." Sam didn't want to get into this with him, not when he seemed a little better.

"Tell me."

"You should talk to the doctor."

"You're afraid to tell me. I know something is wrong. I…I just don't feel like myself."

"I'm not afraid. There isn't anything to be afraid of. I just want to make sure you get correct information."

"So…this is how it ends," Callen said softly as he hung his head. "After all these years as an agent…it was Jonathan Page who caused my downfall."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked. "This isn't your downfall. It's just temporary. You're going to be alright."

"No I'm not, Sam," Callen said despondently. "This shouldn't have gotten to me this way. I…I've never been mentally weak like this before. I'm supposed to be the team leader. I guess that'll be your job now."

"G…listen to me," Sam stated emphatically. "You are NOT weak. For God's sake, take a minute and think about all you've gone through. You got stabbed on a plane, then the plane crashed, your wound got infected, you got kidnapped from the hospital, beat up and left in a cave to die, developed sepsis, got punched around again, then trapped in a fire… You really think you should be able to just brush this off and go on with your life as if nothing happened?"

Callen shrugged.

"Well you can't. It's going to take time, but you're going to be alright, partner. We're all here for you. Trust me on this."

"Granger's going to fire me," Callen whispered. "He's been looking for an excuse for years…Now he finally has one…"

"That's just not true." Sam shook his head as he stared at his partner who was usually so self-assured and confident, now subdued and basically a shadow of his former self. "Let me help you, G…" he pleaded softly.

"Do you mind leaving me alone for a while, Sam?" Callen asked as he laid down on the bed and huddled on his side. "I'd just like to be alone…"

Sam looked at Callen, feeling helpless, not knowing how to cope with this partner who was nothing like the partner and best friend he had worked with for the last 10 years. "I'll leave you alone for now, G," he said as he got up and slowly began to walk towards the door. "But you're not getting rid of me that easily. I'll be back soon."


	38. Chapter 38

_Thanks so much for all your exceptionally nice comments for the last chapter. Can't begin to tell you how much it was appreciated :)_

xxxxx

Sam walked slowly back to the waiting room, looking troubled. He had assumed that Deeks and Kensi would still be there, but he was a bit surprised that Hetty and Granger were still waiting, also.

"How is he, Mr. Hanna?" Hetty asked, giving Sam a concerned look. She could see by his expression that all was not well.

Sam shook his head slowly. "I don't know, Hetty," he admitted. "He does finally believe that I'm alive, at least, but…he's in a bad way. It's like he's lost all of his confidence…like he's given up…" Sam sighed as he sunk into a chair next to Deeks, but his eyes were on Granger. "Granger? You should go in and talk to him."

Granger gave Sam a baffled look. "Me? You've got to be kidding, Hanna. Of all the people in this room, I would be the least likely to do Agent Callen any good. Henrietta would definitely be a better choice."

"Actually, I beg to differ. I think you would be the ideal choice in this case," Sam said. "He's worried about his job. He thinks you want to fire him. You need to put his fears to rest. I think you could really help him."

Granger sighed heavily, looking very uncomfortable with what Sam wanted him to do.

"What harm can it do to try, Owen?" Hetty asked him.

"Alright," Granger said as he stood up and began walking out of the waiting room. "Just don't blame me if I make him worse instead of better."

xxxxx

Granger quietly entered Callen's room and settled himself into the chair closest to Callen's bed. Callen was buried under the blankets, but at least his head was visible which Granger took to be a somewhat positive sign. Callen's eyes were closed, but Granger was fairly certain he was not asleep. "Sam's pretty worried about you," he said after a few moments of silence.

Callen sighed as he opened his eyes and looked back at his superior. "Why are you here, Granger?" he asked. "You and I both know you don't want to be."

Granger ignored Callen's comment. "I realize we don't always see eye-to-eye," Granger began. "But I think we've pretty much moved past any of the difficulties we used to have, wouldn't you say?"

Callen slowly moved into a sitting position and pulled the blankets up over his chest as if they were providing a barrier between him and Granger. "I guess so, but…" he shook his head and became silent once again as he stared down at his lap.

"But what?" Granger prompted. "Sam says you're worried about your job…is that true?"

Callen didn't say anything, but the quick look he sent in Granger's direction more than confirmed that it was very true.

"You can't seriously believe I would fire you over this, do you?"

Callen shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well I wouldn't," Granger said. "You've gone through hell and back and understandably you're having a few problems recovering. It's certainly not a reason for you to lose your job."

"It's not?" Callen raised his head and met Granger's eyes.

"Of course it's not," Granger said. "I'd be a real asshole to fire you over something like this, not to mention that Henrietta would rip me a new one and I can only imagine what **_your team_** would do to me."

A slight smile touched the corners of Callen's lips when Granger emphasized the team as still being his.

"You're an exceptional agent and leader," Granger continued. "I'd be pretty stupid to get rid of you. Try not to worry about your job right now. Just concentrate on getting yourself better. Everything else will fall into place."

"Thanks, Granger," Callen said. He knew that there weren't any guarantees, but at least he was being given the chance to get himself together again. Hopefully, he would be able to do just that.

xxxxx

Granger stayed with Callen for about a half hour before excusing himself and retreating back out to the waiting area. "Okay, I did what you asked," he said to Sam. "He's not exactly turning cartwheels, but it might have helped a little bit. "Maybe you should go see him now," he said, nodding at Deeks. "He could probably use a little bit of mindless entertainment."

"I'm pretty sure there's an insult in there somewhere," Deeks said with a grin, "but I'm certainly willing to give it a shot." He turned his attention toward Kensi. "Are you game?"

"Of course," Kensi said, smiling as she reached for her crutches. "Maybe we can help cheer him up."

"You want to come with us, Sam?" Deeks asked.

Sam shook his head. "No, thanks. I think he's had about enough of me for the moment. You guys go ahead and see what you can do."

xxxxx

Callen had just nestled back under the covers to try to sleep, when Deeks and Kensi came into the room. He sighed quietly to himself, wondering if he was ever going to get a moment's peace.

"Hi Callen," Kensi said as she crutched over to a chair and eased herself into it. "We're not disturbing you, are we?"

"Hey, Kensi," Callen said as he got himself back up into a sitting position and forced a smile. "No…It's fine. How's it going?"

"We're good," Deeks said, entering into the conversation. "How are **_you_** doing?"

Callen wanted to say that he was upset, on edge and just plain exhausted, but instead he just took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I'm fine. I've just had enough of this place…I really wish I could get out of here." He firmly believed that the atmosphere of the hospital was making him feel worse than if he could just be home in his own house.

"I'm sure you do," Kensi said, taking his hand and squeezing it sympathetically. "You won't be here too much longer though."

Callen shook his head. "You don't know that, Kens…the doctors here think I'm nuts. Who knows how long they're going to want to keep me. Before I know it, they're going to be locking me up in the psych ward and throwing away the key."

"Come on…don't think like that, man," Deeks said, giving a worried look at their team leader. "You need to be thinking positively."

"Easier said than done," Callen admitted softly, his eyes appearing dull and lifeless.

"This just isn't right," Deeks whispered under his breath. He stared at Callen for a long moment and then got to his feet. "I'll be right back, guys, okay? Kensi nodded, giving him a curious look and Callen didn't really respond. Deeks then headed out of the room and back to the waiting area.

"That was a short visit," Sam commented. "Did he throw something at you?"

"I think it's time for us to go home," Deeks said, his eyes focused on Hetty.

Sam shook his head, looking a little bit annoyed. "No one's stopping you from going home, Deeks," he said. "Go ahead. But, I'm not leaving until my partner can go with me. He's gone through enough. I'm not going to just walk away and abandon him."

Hetty shook her head and spoke sternly, "Mr. Hanna…Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye have been here for quite some time now. I believe they have gone above and beyond for Mr. Callen, in spite of what they, themselves, have gone through. I see no reason why they shouldn't return to Los Angeles, nor should you be making them feel bad for wanting to do so. They do not deserve that."

Sam stared back at Hetty for a long moment and immediately began to feel guilty as he realized that she was right. "I'm sorry, Deeks," he said quietly. "Hetty's right…you've done a lot for G and for me. Of course you should go home if that's what you want to do."

"I'm not saying we should abandon Callen, Sam," Deeks said, shaking his head. "I would never do that. I just think getting him out of here might be just what he needs right now."

"You obviously have talents I wasn't aware of," Granger said dryly to the detective. "When and where did you receive your medical degree? And did you double major in both Medicine and Psychiatry? You're certainly wasting your talents here with us."

"Callen isn't in that bad shape physically," Deeks said, ignoring Granger's sarcasm and refusing to back down. "Maybe he could be transported back to Los Angeles? I'm sure he could handle a two and a half hour Medevac flight back to L.A., right?"

"Deeks could be right…" Sam said quietly as he allowed himself to mull over the merits of Deeks' idea. "G wanted me to drive him back home last night. He wasn't making a whole lot of sense, but, he seemed pretty adamant about it. Emotionally, maybe this is what he needs."

Deeks nodded. "I think he's reached his limit, Hetty. I know there are a lot of reasons behind what is wrong with him, but I also think him being stuck here could be having a having a major impact on his well being. I'm just saying, if it can be done safely, I don't think it would be a bad idea for us to get him the hell out of this hospital and out of Seattle. I really don't think we're doing him any favors by keeping him here. So much has happened to him and basically, all he can do is lie here and think about it constantly. It has to be depressing. I think a change of scenery could do him a world of good."

Hetty looked at Granger who just shrugged, making it obvious that he would leave any decisions about Callen up to her. "Perhaps you make a valid point, Mr. Deeks," she said after carefully considering what he had said. "I will call my personal physician and have him speak with Mr. Callen's treating physicians here. If they can all come to an agreement, that this will not impede his recovery in any way, we will see what can be done."

"Thank you, Hetty," Deeks said with a nod, pleased that the team seemed to be onboard with his idea.

Sam stood up, inwardly impressed with the thoughtfulness Deeks was displaying toward Callen. "Aiden is away at school so G could easily be set up in his room. I know Michelle wouldn't mind and maybe a little TLC is just what he needs, even if he'd never admit that. Michelle and Kam would take good care of him."

Hetty nodded. "Perhaps Nate would be able to come and see him. That could be helpful as well."

Sam looked at Hetty doubtfully. "I'm not sure about Nate, Hetty. I don't know if G could trust him after that whole JDX case."

"Well, if not, I'm sure we can get a referral for someone else to treat Mr. Callen, said Hetty. "Although TLC and a bit of coddling may very well be what he needs, it still doesn't erase the fact that he is dealing with some very real issues right now."

"Agreed," Sam responded with a nod. "But for now, I'm going to take care of his more immediate needs. I'm going to go out and get us something decent to have for lunch. He does need to eat more. I'll be back in a little while."

"I'll go with you, Sam," Granger said, eager to escape the hospital for a short time.

"I'm going to get back in there. They're going to be wondering what happened to me. Well, at least Kensi will be wondering. Callen probably doesn't really care all that much," Deeks admitted with a wry grin.

"And I have a phone call to make," Hetty said. "We will meet up in Mr. Callen's room for lunch when you return. Hopefully, I will have some news by then and we will see if Mr. Deeks' plan can be brought to fruition."


	39. Chapter 39

_The Christmas stories are finished and I'm finally back to this one. Sorry for the long wait between chapters. I hope everyone has been enjoying the holidays. As always, thanks for reading and reviewing_ :)

xxxxx

Sam and Granger quietly entered Callen's room. Both men were carrying large bags which they put down on the bedside table. Sam's eyes went to his partner who, Sam was disappointed to see, was once again asleep. "How long has he been sleeping?" he asked softly.

"Not long," Kensi answered. She and Deeks exchanged a look. The discouragement Sam was feeling was very much evident.

"Come on, man," Deeks said, trying to reassure the older agent. "Look at what he went through just hours ago. He has to be exhausted."

Sam sighed then nodded. "Yeah…yeah, you're right. I know that…I guess I'm just thinking of myself."

"I think you're just missing your partner, the way things usually are between the two of you" Kensi said. "Don't worry, Sam. You'll get that back."

"Yeah…yeah, I know," Sam said, not sounding particularly convinced. Such a lot had happened since they had flown in that damn plane a couple of weeks ago. He wondered if his partner would ever fully recover.

At that moment, Hetty walked into the room. She quickly took in each person's demeanor and could see that none of them looked particularly happy. "Did I miss something?" she asked.

"No, you didn't miss anything," Granger answered gruffly. "Did you speak to the doctors? What did they say?"

"I think that's a topic best visited after we have eaten and it is only fair that Mr. Callen be awake for the discussion," Hetty replied.

"I'll wake him," Sam said reluctantly. He just never knew what he was going to get with G from one minute to the other. "Hey, G?" He gently shook his partner's shoulder. "Come on, buddy. Time for lunch."

Callen slowly opened his eyes and sleepily looked up at his partner. "Hey, Sam," he said quietly and then his eyes scanned the room to find the whole team assembled with everyone looking at him. He felt his cheeks flush as he slowly sat up and wondered why none of them had anything better to do than to stand around and watch him sleep.

"We brought in some lunch, Agent Callen," Granger said, noting the younger man's discomfort and apparent wariness with the current situation. When he actually thought about it, he realized he didn't blame Callen one bit. If their positions were reversed, he wouldn't be particularly happy either.

"Yeah, G. We thought it would be nice to, you know, all eat together…" Sam said.

"Sure…that sounds good…" Callen forced a smile, determined to act as normally as he could.

"So what did you bring?" Deeks asked with unnatural cheeriness as he tried to ease the awkwardness but didn't succeed.

"One of the front desk people in the lobby recommended a good lunch place. We got an assortment of things; soups , sandwiches and salads," Sam said.

"Oh…that sounds good," Deeks said. "I'm going to go see if I can find some more chairs." There were only two in the room.

"I'll help you," Granger said quickly as he practically bolted out after Deeks.

"Guess people only want to hang in here when I'm sleeping," Callen quipped.

"That's not true, Callen," Kensi said. "We just don't have enough chairs for everybody."

"I know, Kens…" he said with a sigh. "I was just kidding…"

Kensi opened up one of the bags and began organizing the contents on the tray. "What do you feel like eating? There's grilled cheese, tuna salad, turkey club…"

"I'll take a grilled cheese," Callen said quietly, thanking Kensi after she handed it to him.

"Tomato soup would go well with that, G," Sam said, taking a container from the other bag and cautiously placing it in front of his partner, unsure how the gesture would be received.

"Thanks, Sam." Callen gave his partner a sincere smile.

Hetty remained quiet as she observed her team's leader. She really wondered what was going on inside his head and what the best way to help him was. She was distracted from watching Callen as Deeks and Granger came back into the room, carrying some metal folding chairs. The men allowed Hetty and Kensi to sit in the more comfortable reclining chairs as they occupied the others. Food was distributed and everyone ate quietly with some forced small talk being attempted at several points, but ultimately dying out into silence again. It was a far cry from the easy-going, lighthearted banter the team was used to.

Finally, the awkward meal came to an end and Hetty cleared her throat. "So, Mr. Callen, I have some news you may be interested to hear."

"Yeah?" Callen gave Hetty his attention although he had little hope that anything she had to say would be all that interesting to him.

"I have spoken with Dr. Bryant. I'm sure you remember him. He's treated you a few times in the past."

Callen nodded.

"He has spoken with Dr. Hathaway and they discussed your situation at length. They have come up with a plan, which, if you are in agreement, will result in you being released, perhaps as soon as tomorrow."

"I'll agree to anything they want," Callen said quickly, his eyes lighting up at the prospect of getting out of the hospital.

"I think you need to hear the terms before you agree," Hetty said.

"Whatever they are, they have to be better than being stuck in this place," Callen retorted.

"Well, first of all, you need to remain fever-free for at least 24 hours before this is even a consideration. I understand your temperature has been normal since this morning so we'll have to see if this continues."

"Okay," Callen said, realizing there wasn't a whole lot he could do about this condition. Hopefully, his temperature would not become elevated.

"If you are released, you will be transferred via MedFlight back to Los Angeles and Sam will accompany you."

"I can't just fly back on a regular plane with the rest of you?" Callen asked, looking at her hopefully.

Hetty shook her head as she narrowed her eyes at him. "These conditions are not negotiable, Mr. Callen. If you don't agree to them, you can just stay in the hospital until Dr. Hathaway decides you should be released."

Callen sighed softly. "The MedFlight is fine, Hetty," he said.

Hetty nodded. "The next condition is you will be staying either with me or with Mr. Hanna until it is determined that you are able to be on your own."

"Aw, Hetty," Callen protested. "I don't want to be making trouble for people. I'm perfectly capable of staying home and taking care of myself."

"Evidently, Mr. Callen does not understand the meaning of the term 'non-negotiable,' Mr. Deeks. Would you care to explain it to him?"

"Huh?" Deeks asked, caught off-guard and unwilling to get caught up in the debate between Hetty and Callen. "I really think Callen understands the term without my help, Hetty."

"Well then, I guess he has decided to just remain a patient here in Seattle for the time being."

Callen rolled his eyes. "Fine, Hetty. I'll stay with Sam." At least he would be able to breathe at Sam's house. He couldn't say the same about Hetty's home. God only knew what she would have in store for him if he was to stay there.

"If you are to stay at Mr. Hanna's house, you will be a willing and cooperative participant with whatever outpatient treatment plan is established for you. You will not give Sam or his family a hard time. If Dr. Bryant and I do not feel you are being fully cooperative with your treatment plan, you will be admitted into a suitable hospital until you are deemed fit and able to care for yourself."

"I'm not going to give people trouble," Callen grumbled. He resented being treated like a 2-year-old, but he knew that Hetty was very serious and would carry out her threats if he tried to cross her. He did not particularly want to find out what her idea of a suitable hospital was, suspecting it would not be a very pleasant situation for him.

"So you are in agreement with all of these conditions?" Hetty asked.

"I said I was, Hetty," Callen said, his anger flaring. "I'm here now doing what I'm supposed to be, aren't I? I could leave AMA if I really wanted to."

"And that would be a major error in judgement on your part," Hetty said. "I wouldn't even think about doing something like that…not if your job is important to you…"

"Come on, Hetty," Sam protested, defending his partner. "I thought we were doing this to help him, not upset him." He knew that threatening G's job would not bring about a good outcome.

"If you want to fire me, go ahead and fire me," Callen snapped back at Hetty. "You're treating me like a little kid with no common sense at all. It's not my fault all this shit has happened to me. You're acting like I brought it all on myself."

As Deeks listened to the tension-filled conversation taking place, he was beginning to wish he'd never come up with the idea for Callen to go home. He certainly hadn't expected it to go down like this. He'd wanted to help Callen, now he just felt sorry for him.

"Henrietta," Granger stated, a cautionary note in his voice. "Why don't we step out for a moment?"

Hetty stared at Callen who refused to meet her eyes, then nodded at Owen as he led her out of Callen's room.

"Are you okay, G?" Sam asked quietly, after Hetty and Granger were gone.

Callen nodded, but he was still obviously worked up. "What the hell, Sam…why did she even come up with this plan if all she was going to do was threaten me and spit out rules?"

"I think she's just really worried about you and got carried away," Sam said. "I don't think she meant for everything to come out the way it did. We're all a little on edge these days…"

"It's my fault, Callen," Deeks spoke up. "It was my idea for you to leave. I thought it would do you some good to get out of here. I didn't expect that to happen though."

Callen smirked as he began to calm down and actually give some thought to what had happened. "Thanks, Deeks," he said. "It's not your fault though… I don't know how you could have expected that, and… I did kind of go against every condition she threw at me…I guess we've all had more than we can take of this situation."

"Yes, we have, Mr. Callen," Hetty said as she stepped back into the room followed by Granger. "But that's no excuse for what took place. I should have been a bit more sensitive. I apologize."

Callen shook his head. "It's okay, Hetty. I'm sorry too. I guess I was being a bit difficult, as well."

"Let's just agree to put this all behind us," Granger said. "And perhaps we should give Agent Callen a bit of space as well? I'm sure he could use some rest."

Deeks and Kensi nodded and got up from their respective chairs. "We can come back here for dinner later," Kensi began tentatively. "Unless you'd rather we didn't?"

Callen nodded and gave her a smile. "It's fine if you come back here, later, Kens. I'd like you to."

"I'm going to go and make the arrangements for your tentative transport tomorrow," Hetty said. "I will keep you informed."

"Thank you, Hetty," Callen said. "I appreciate everything you're doing to get me out of here."

Hetty nodded and patted his hand gently before turning to leave the room.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning," Granger said.

Callen nodded. "See ya, Granger."

Granger left the room and it was just Callen and Sam who were left. "So…I don't want to overstep, G…" Sam started cautiously. "You want me to just stay away until tomorrow?"

Callen shook his head. "You can stay if you want to, Sam," he said. "Of course, if you have stuff to do, you can leave, but I don't mind if you want to hang here for a while."

"I'd like to stay, G," Sam said, taking a seat on one of the reclining chairs.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise, Sam…" Callen sighed and absently began playing with the blanket. "I'm feeling…" He shrugged and shook his head. "I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling these days…"

"It's going to take time, G," Sam said, "but you'll get back to your regular self. I know you will."

"I hope you're right," Callen said, "but…let's talk about something else. You must be happy that we're maybe going to get home. You'll get to see Michelle and Kam."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, I have to admit I miss them. It will be good to put some of this stuff in the past. For you too."

Callen nodded, not really looking like he believed Sam's words. "Yeah…it will be good…"

"G… Look at me." Sam took Callen's hand and squeezed it, gazing at his friend intently. "Things are going to get better. I promise you they are."

Callen nodded and forced a smile. "I believe you, Sam."

xxxxx

The rest of the day was spent basically watching t.v. and playing some card games with a deck Sam had bought at the hospital gift shop. Kensi and Deeks came back a few hours later with pizza and they had a nice dinner, much more easy-going than their lunch had been. After dinner, they chatted for a while and then Kensi and Deeks decided to head back to the hotel and Callen insisted Sam return there as well. "You should get a good night's rest in case we're going home tomorrow," he said, hoping with every fiber of his being that it was going to be true and they would be able to return to Los Angeles the following day.

xxxxx

Callen slept better than usual that night and awoke early then fidgeted nervously and watched t.v. as he waited for Dr. Hathaway to make his morning rounds. He felt pretty good, not feverish at all, but he knew that could be deceptive. Sometimes you could run a fever even when you didn't have an inkling that you had one. Finally, Dr. Hathaway arrived and performed a more thorough exam than usual which Callen sat patiently through. When the doctor finished, he remained silent as he jotted down some notes into Callen's chart while Callen watched him nervously. At last, the doctor looked at Callen and chuckled . "Stop looking so anxious, Mr. Callen," he said. "You need to calm yourself down and get yourself ready to head home."

Callen grinned, unable to believe it was true. "Really? I can leave?"

Dr. Hathaway nodded. "I just hope you'll follow my orders and those of Dr. Bryant. Sepsis is a tricky thing and you can easily relapse if you don't take care of yourself."

"I will," Callen said. "I promise. Thanks, Doc…thanks for everything."

"I'm going to go get your discharge papers ready. I'll be back in a bit."

Callen watched as the doctor left and then picked up the phone and dialed Sam's number. "Hey partner," he said, smiling as Sam answered on the other end of the line. "Get packed. We're finally going home."


	40. Chapter 40

_Thanks to all of you for reading and reviewing this story. Special thanks to French fan and Skippy for your very nice notes on the last chapter, as I couldn't thank you personally. Also, thank you to Astrida. Wishing you all a very happy and healthy 2017 :)_

xxxxx

"So, you ready to get out of this place?" Sam asked Callen as looked his partner over. Callen was sitting on the edge of his hospital bed, looking pale and wearing sweats which were practically hanging off him. He still had an IV attached to his arm.

Callen nodded and spoke quietly. "It will really be good to get home." Even if it wasn't his own home, Sam's house was the next best thing and a hell of a lot better than being in the hospital.

"I can't disagree with you there," Sam said with a grin. He had talked to his wife and daughter the previous night and they were both very happy that he and Callen were coming home. Kamran, especially, was over the top with excitement. Sam had cautioned his daughter that Callen was only just being released from the hospital and she couldn't give him one of the boisterous hugs she was prone to where she would throw herself into Callen's arms. That would only serve to cause pain for his partner who was still recovering from the stab wound and broken ribs.

Callen could see how happy Sam was and felt a pang of guilt, feeling that he was spoiling Sam's reunion with his family.

"I know that look, G," Sam said. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

Sam just stared at his partner until Callen finally spoke up. "I don't know, Sam…you haven't seen your family in weeks. I just don't think you need me hanging around…Maybe I should just stay with Hetty."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Really G? After that whole little showdown you had with her at the hospital yesterday, you're telling me you want to stay with her? You won't last a day."

Callen smirked. "I could last a day, Sam. You're forgetting I used to live with the woman."

"You were a kid. If you want to put up with her overseeing and managing every move you make, it's your choice, G. You know we want you to stay with us. You're family." Sam watched as his partner pondered the decision. He couldn't imagine he would choose to stay with Hetty over him. "Well?"

"I'll stay with you…if you're sure."

Sam shook his head. "You know better than to even ask that, G. Of course I'm sure."

"Thanks, Sam," Callen said softly.

"You're welcome." He looked at his own duffel bag which was packed and on the floor against the wall. "Now let's make sure you have all your stuff together so you're all ready to go when the transport team gets here."

xxxxx

"I still don't understand why all this fuss is necessary," Callen whispered to Sam. The MedFlight crew had arrived at the hospital and was now transporting him to the airport, where he and Sam would board the air ambulance, a private medical jet. "This is stupid. It must cost a fortune."

"For someone who said he wasn't going to kick up a fuss, you sure are complaining a lot, G," Sam commented. "It's not like you're going to have to pay for it."

"Well, it's a waste of whoever's money is paying for it," Callen remarked.

"If I were you, I'd just sit back and enjoy the ride," Sam said. "It's about all you can do."

Callen sighed, but didn't say anything else. He couldn't help but notice that Sam appeared to be somewhat tense and he didn't want to cause his partner any additional stress. Finally, they arrived at the airport where they were brought to the front of the security line and scanned privately by the TSA officials. A short time later, Callen was onboard the plane, strapped onto the gurney and attached to monitors to track his vital signs. He also was still receiving IV antibiotics. He had tried to get Dr. Hathaway to switch him over to oral medication, but the doctor had been adamant that he needed to stay on an IV for at least another two days. Sam was seat belted into a comfortable-appearing chair a couple of feet away from him and had a white-knuckled grasp on the armrests. "Sam?" Callen questioned quietly, but his partner didn't appear to hear him. "Hey, Sam?" Callen spoke again, louder this time.

"Yeah, G?" Sam finally responded to his partner and turned towards him. "You okay?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Callen said, giving his partner a concerned look. What's up?"

Sam shook his head. "There's nothing up, G."

"You could have fooled me," Callen said.

"We'll be taking off momentarily," Bonnie, the flight nurse said with a smile as she checked Callen's monitor settings. The two certified paramedics, Ryan and Glenn, who had transported him from the hospital to the airport, were also accompanying them. "Everything looks good here. Are you comfortable?"

Callen nodded. "I'm fine, thanks." He would be very happy when this whole transport fiasco was over with. He found the whole thing ludicrous and well beyond the scope of what he thought was necessary.

"Okay, I'm going to go buckle in for takeoff. I'm just a few feet away if you need me."

"Thank you," Callen said before turning his attention back to Sam, puzzled at the other man's uptight appearance, and then it dawned on him. The crash. He, himself, had no recollection of the plane going down, but Sam, Deeks and Kensi all did. He wasn't sure what to say or how to help him. "Everything's going to be okay, Sam," he finally said softly, hoping he didn't sound condescending.

Sam just nodded as the plane began moving along the runway. His eyes were closed and he was obviously deep in concentration so Callen decided to just leave him alone for the time being. After all, he knew all too well what it was like when people kept bugging you relentlessly when all you wanted was to have some time to yourself.

xxxxx

"Mr. Deeks…Ms. Blye… Are the two of you doing alright?" Hetty asked them.

Deeks found that he was very uncomfortable being on a small, private plane once again. He definitely would have felt better if they were on a large, commercial flight. He turned to Kensi who was clutching his hand tightly. "You okay, baby?" he asked her softly.

Kensi nodded at him. "We're good, Hetty," she said, forcing some semblance of a smile at the older woman.

"I could use a drink," Deeks admitted quietly to Kensi when Hetty's attention had been diverted to something Granger had said to her.

"It's still morning," Kensi said to him and then smiled, "But I actually could use one as well."

"I wonder if Callen and Sam are feeling like we are," Deeks mused.

Kensi shook her head. "I doubt Sam is and I don't even think Callen remembers what happened so probably not.

"Lucky them," Deeks said, feeling the muscles in his body tensing up as the plane left the runway and began rising up into the air.

xxxxx

It happened unexpectedly as the aircraft passed through a pocket of turbulence. The plane momentarily began to rattle and shake and Callen was suddenly assaulted by images, bringing him back to the cockpit before their plane had crashed.

 _He regained consciousness right before Andy pulled the trigger. "Andy, no!" Callen gasped as his former friend dropped to the floor, dead. Shocked, he couldn't even process what had happened before he realized the plane was plummeting downwards. Warning sounds were coming from the control panel as he desperately tried to pull himself up into the co-pilot's seat to secure himself. However, he was much too weak and he helplessly slumped back onto the floor in a heap, right before the plane hit the ground._

"G!"

Callen's heart was pounding as finally became oriented back to the present day situation. He turned to look at his partner who was gazing at him worriedly. Bonnie was also at his side, observing him with concern in her eyes.

"I…" Callen could feel himself trembling all over and his heart was pounding. He made a concerted effort to get himself back under control.

"G? What happened?" Sam asked gently.

"Are you alright?" Bonnie asked him, as she checked his vital signs which were normalizing. When Callen nodded, she moved away to give him some space. "You know where I am if you need me."

"G?" Sam tried again.

"I…I'm okay, Sam," Callen said tremulously.

Sam shook his head. "That's not going to work. Come on…something's going on with you. You were off in a whole other world, and not a very pleasant one from the look of you."

"I…I remembered what happened…before the crash…I…I didn't think I was awake for it, but I guess I was."

"Damn…" Sam sighed heavily. He had really hoped that his friend had been spared that particular memory, that he'd been unconscious and oblivious to what had happened right before the crash.

"I…I couldn't stop Andy, Sam. I woke up just as he pulled the trigger…and the plane was already on its way down…"

"Don't even try to put any of this on yourself, G," Sam admonished gently. "You'd been stabbed and were bleeding heavily. There was nothing you possibly could have done to prevent what happened."

"I guess…" Callen responded, not looking particularly convinced.

"Don't guess, man," Sam said, shaking his head and gazing into Callen's eyes intently. "Believe it. You've already got too much to deal with, partner. Please don't add this onto everything else on your plate. You don't deserve it. Really, you don't." He rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. "Why don't you try to get some rest?"

"Okay," Callen nodded. He'd slept pretty well the night before, but even so, he still felt exhausted. He closed his eyes and dropped off to sleep almost immediately.

xxxxx

"I'm so glad to be back," Kensi said as she slowly crutched her way through the airport alongside Deeks.

"Me too," Deeks said, smiling. "I can hardly wait to get home and see Monty.

"I know." Kensi smiled at him. "I miss him too."

"I hope he's doing okay… We're not usually away from him for this long."

"I'm sure you would have heard if anything was wrong." Kensi said. "Tim always takes good care of him." Tim was a college student who lived a few houses away from them and took on dog walking and house sitting jobs to help him with the cost of school.

"I know. I just miss him."

"Well, we'll see him really soon," Kensi said with a smile. "He'll be very happy to see you."

xxxxx

"Wait. You're not going to transfer me on a gurney, are you?" Callen asked as the paramedics prepared to transport him from the plane.

Ryan and Glenn exchanged a look. "Well, it is protocol," said Ryan. "Our job is to provide bedside to bedside service."

"Come on guys, this is totally unnecessary. I'm not an invalid," Callen protested. He really did not want to arrive at Sam's house on a gurney. He would feel ridiculous. Not to mention, the impression he would give to Kamran if she was there when they arrived.

Sam kept quiet as he watched the exchange. He supposed that technically Callen was going against one of Hetty's rules of perfect patient protocol, but he really couldn't blame him for feeling the way he did. He privately shared Callen's view that the coddling was going a bit overboard. Treating him like he was a porcelain doll was only going to serve to aggravate his partner.

"Well…" Ryan said after a brief hesitation. "We could transfer you in a wheelchair, if you'd prefer."

"Yeah, fine, that works," Callen replied. It was far from ideal, but it was definitely better than the gurney.

"Okay then, let's get you ready to go," Ryan said as Glenn went to retrieve a wheelchair.

xxxxx

"So…you must be happy to have all your little chickadees back home in their nest," Granger said. He and Hetty were slowly trailing behind Kensi and Deeks as they made their way through the airport.

"Indeed I am, Owen," Hetty replied. "Now to just get them all back to full health, both physically and mentally."

"Well, three fourths isn't a bad percentage anyway," Granger said.

Hetty stopped in her tracks and stared up at Granger, her anger obvious. "You have so little confidence in him?" she asked.

Granger shrugged then shook his head. "I'm just being a realist, Henrietta. As I said, I'm willing to give him adequate time to recover. But, I've seen agents forced to leave their positions by lesser circumstances than these. We'll just have to see what happens."

"So whatever it was you said, when you spoke with him in the hospital, that was just lip service?"

"I did what Sam asked me to do. I have no intention of replacing Agent Callen…at least not now... In any case, we have Sam to take over the team leader duties temporarily, or permanently, if the need arises."

"And we both know you'd like it to be permanent, wouldn't you?" Although Owen never said it, Hetty strongly suspected he would prefer Sam as team leader over Callen.

"I didn't say that," Granger replied.

"But you don't deny it either. Well, Owen, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your distance from Agent Callen. He doesn't need your negativity bringing him down."

"That's fine. I have a lot to catch up on and take care of regarding this case and many others. We can't just let everything go, you know. Playing nursemaid has never been my strong suit anyway. I'll leave that to you." Granger bore no ill will towards Callen, but he wasn't in the mood to fight with Hetty either. He would let her think what she wanted to. He knew, at times, she thought of Callen more like her child than the agent that he was and that just wasn't helpful right now.

"Yes, well I have things that need to be taken care of also. You're not the only one, Owen," Hetty retorted.

"I'm well aware of that."

Hetty glared at him and then stomped away in a huff to catch up with Kensi and Deeks who had moved on ahead of them. At least Callen had the loyalty of his team. She knew that they would have his back and support his recovery, even if Granger did not.

xxxxx

Callen sighed softly to himself as the ambulance hit a bump in the road. He'd be glad when they finally got to Sam's house. Although the flight hadn't been overly long, he still found that he was totally wiped out from the travel. It was a small price to pay though in that he had finally escaped the hospital and the constant surveillance of medical personnel. Of course, he knew that he could expect a certain amount of TLC from Sam's family, but hopefully, it wouldn't be too over the top. In any case, he hoped, that with good behavior, he would be able to return to his own home relatively soon.

"About five minutes, guys," Glenn, who was driving the ambulance, called out from the front seat.

Callen and Sam exchanged a smile. Finally, they were home.


	41. Chapter 41

_Thanks, as always, for continuing to read and review. I really appreciate it._

xxxxx

"Hey, how about I sign some kind of a waiver for you to let me walk out of this thing on my own?" Callen asked Ryan, but his eyes were on Sam, who was getting ready to exit the ambulance. He half expected his partner to nix his request. "Seriously…my boss is much too overprotective. If you met her, you'd understand."

"Sorry," Ryan said. "Like I said before… Protocol."

Glenn looked at Callen sympathetically and then at Ryan. "I don't know, Ryan…maybe we could give the guy a break?" he asked.

Ryan looked at Sam who just shook his head. "Keep me out of it," Sam said.

Callen's eyes widened hopefully as he gave Ryan a pleading look. "Please?"

Ryan hesitated and then finally nodded slowly. "Go wait outside the ambulance, Glenn," he said to his partner. "We don't want Mr. Callen to face plant onto the ground, just in case things aren't as good with him as he thinks they are." Ryan then proceeded to gather up Callen's IV equipment. Callen's next dose of IV antibiotics wasn't due now until before bedtime. Both he and Sam had been instructed how to do it by the nurse at the hospital before discharge.

"Thank you," Callen said, smiling as he got to his feet.

Sam, seeing the expression on his friend's face, was glad the paramedics weren't pushing the whole wheelchair thing. He waited patiently as Callen slowly exited the ambulance and then followed behind him. "You good?" he asked Callen, but Callen never gave an answer because at that moment, the front door to Sam's house opened and Michelle and Kamran appeared.

"Daddy!" Kamran screamed as she ran down the front walkway and threw herself into Sam's arms. "I missed you so much."

"Oh I missed you too, baby girl," Sam said as he picked up his daughter and swung her around, clinging to her tightly.

"Sam," Michelle smiled at her husband as she walked over to the small group gathered in front of their house. Sam put down his daughter and reached for his wife who nestled against him as he took her into his arms and they kissed for the first time in what seemed like forever to the reunited couple.

"Hi, Uncle Callen." Kamran cautiously approached him and then very gently put her arms around him. "I'm very glad to see you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, Kam," Callen said, smiling down at her as he returned her embrace.

She looked up at him, appearing doubtful. "You've been in the hospital for a long time. I was worried."

"No need to worry, sweetheart," Callen said. "I'm better now."

"Uh, Mr. Callen?" Ryan said, interrupting them. "We do need to see you safely into the house, if you don't mind."

"Uh yeah, sure," Callen said.

Sam and Michelle separated and Michelle gave Callen a hurried hug. "I'm so glad you're doing better, Callen," she said, smiling at him. "Let's get you situated inside."

Callen walked into the house and did his best not to react to Ryan and Glenn accompanying him. He did breathe a sigh of relief when they were gone, however, and sank down gratefully onto an overstuffed chair in the living room, leaving the sofa free for Sam and his family.

"Callen, can I get you anything?" Michelle asked him.

"No, I'm good," he said, shaking his head.

"Well, just let me know if you need anything at all." She smiled as she sat down beside Sam and he put his arm around her. Kamran was on Sam's opposite side, cuddled next to her father.

"Thanks," Callen said softly, feeling very much like he didn't belong. It was like he'd been photoshopped into a family portrait. "Actually, uh, I'm kind of tired. Guess this trip affected me a little bit more than I expected." He forced a smile and looked at Michelle. "Maybe I can go rest for a bit?"

"Of course, let me get you settled in," Michelle said as she started to rise from the sofa.

"No, you don't have to do that." Callen quickly shook his head. "I'm staying in Aiden's room, right? I'm good."

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking very much like she wanted to assist him in some way.

"Positive," Callen said as he got up and started to walk from the living room. "I'll let you know if I need anything, okay?"

"Okay." Michelle nodded as Sam looked skeptically at his partner, but he decided not to call him on it. Maybe Callen needed a bit of time to himself or more likely, was giving Sam and his family some private time. Whatever it was, he decided to let him have his own way. He'd check back in with him at dinnertime.

xxxxx

Deeks could hear Monty's frantic whimpering as he put the key into the lock and turned it. As he walked through the door, the excited dog immediately jumped on him, then jumped down and scampered around them in circles. He seemed about to jump on Kensi, but then gave her crutches a wary look before he started circling them again.

"I guess somebody missed us," Kensi said laughing as Deeks squatted down and petted the animal.

"Hey Monty, hello boy," Deeks said happily, playfully ruffling the dog's fur with his hands. "Did you miss us, boy? Did you? We missed you too. Yes we did."

Kensi crutched her way over to the sofa and lowered herself down. Once she was seated, she called Monty. "Come here, Monty, come here, boy," she said and the dog ran over to her. "Good boy," Kensi cooed as she petted him. "We missed you so much."

"It is so good to be home," Deeks said as he sat down on the sofa next to Kensi, putting his arm around her. "Sometimes, you just don't realize how good things are until you're away from them or afraid you might never get them back."

"That's true," said Kensi as she leaned into Deeks and he tightened his hold on her. Monty then jumped up onto the sofa and rested his head on Deeks' thigh as Deeks began to stroke his head. She sighed contentedly. It really was good to be home.

xxxxx

"I'm going to go up to my room now," Kamran said. Michelle and Sam had started to talk about household topics and she was bored. She got up from the sofa and began to head out of the living room.

"You leave your Uncle Callen alone," Michelle said, stopping her daughter in her tracks. "He's resting. I don't want you to disturb him."

Kamran turned around and rolled her eyes at her mother, but it was evident from the look on her face that Michelle had read her intentions correctly. "I know that, **_Mother_** ," she said.

"You watch that tone," Michelle said then sighed as Kamran left the room.

"Trouble?" Sam asked his wife, giving her a worried look.

Michelle shook her head. "Nothing I can't handle. She's going to be a teenager soon. Pair that with the fact that you've been gone for weeks…" She sighed softly then looked up at Sam, a smile on her face. "I'm just so glad you're home."

"I'm sorry, baby," Sam said as he kissed the top of her head, guilt in his eyes. "So much was going on…I guess I wasn't really thinking of the affect my absence could be having on you and Kam. Maybe I should have come back sooner…"

"Sam Hanna, you stop that," Michelle admonished him. "You were right where you should have been, with your partner and team who needed you. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

"Thank you," Sam said. Michelle tilted her face towards him and he kissed her gently then deepened the kiss. "You have any idea how much I love you?" he asked.

"Oh I think I do," Michelle said, smiling coyly at him. "And just in case you've forgotten, I have every intention of showing you later on tonight."

"Can't wait," Sam said, grinning as he looked back at her adoringly.

They were quiet for a bit, just enjoying each other's company, then Sam spoke. "Was it too much?" he asked. "Bringing G here? He could have stayed at Hetty's, but…"

"Stop it, Sam," Michelle interrupted gently. "You know better. Of course you should have brought him here. He's not just your family. He's our family too. He just…" She shook her head sadly. "He looks lost, Sam, not to mention much too thin and pale. We'll get him feeling better."

"Thank you," Sam said, looking deep into her eyes before kissing her again. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

xxxxx

"So what do you want for dinner?" Deeks asked Kensi as he turned on the lamp in the living room which was now cloaked in darkness. He, Kensi and Monty had all been dozing periodically since they got home. "I can make omelets, if you'd like."

"Mmm…that sounds good, Deeks," Kensi said, "but I'm pretty sure whatever eggs we have in the refrigerator are just going to be heading for the trash."

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right," he said. "Fruit and salad stuff are probably heading there too."

"The bread will be stale…milk sour," Kensi said, giggling.

"Well…I'm not cleaning out that disgusting fridge tonight," Deeks said with a grin. "That can wait until tomorrow. I guess it's takeout for one more night."

"I guess so," Kensi said, covering her mouth as she yawned. "I can't believe how tired I am. I feel like a lazy slug."

"I feel like that too," Deeks admitted. "I guess it's only natural after all that has happened."

Kensi nodded agreeably. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I wonder if I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow," Deeks mused. "Hetty never said. I wonder if Sam's going in...though I can't imagine he is."

"Tomorrow's Friday," Kensi stated. "Besides, you can't go back until the NCIS doctor says you can. He's coming here tomorrow."

"What?" Deeks asked, looking at Kensi. "How come you know this and I don't?"

"I don't know, Deeks," Kensi said with a shrug. "You were right there when Hetty told us. I guess you weren't paying attention."

"I always pay attention," Deeks said, grinning. "In any case, I don't need the doctor to look at me."

"We all do," Kensi said. "Hetty didn't even tell Sam and Callen about it."

"I'm sure they'll be thrilled," Deeks said, leaning back tiredly against the sofa. "So, Thai?"

"Huh?" Kensi asked.

"You want Thai food for dinner? We haven't had that for a while."

Kensi nodded. "Sure, that sounds perfect."

"Thai it is then," Deeks said, searching through a folder of takeout menus. "Then tomorrow we'll get back to cooking again. It'll be good to just have something homemade and simple."

"You're right about that," Kensi said, closing her eyes as she listened to Deeks order their dinner over the phone. They could all use a little simplicity in their lives for a change.

xxxxx

"G?" Sam called softly as he knocked on the door to Aiden's and now temporarily G's room. "You awake?"

"Come in, Sam," Callen replied.

Sam opened the door and saw his partner sitting on top of the still made bed, his back against the stack of pillows and what must have been one of Aiden's books beside him.

"Wow, G…I think Michelle might have given you every pillow in the house," he said teasingly.

"Did she?" Callen asked, immediately looking guilty. "I don't need all these pillows, Sam. Take some back. Take them all if you need them."

"Whoa…" Sam sat on the bed which creaked loudly under their combined weights. "I was just kidding, man…what's up with you?"

"I…uh nothing…" Callen stared down at the bed . "Everything's fine."

Sam gazed back at Callen sadly. He supposed he had thought bringing Callen home would be an instant cure for all that ailed him, but that obviously wasn't going to be the case. "Dinner is going to be ready soon…unless you want me to bring you up a plate?"

Callen shook his head. "No…I'll go downstairs, Sam. Thanks."

"You're welcome." Sam stood up and headed out of the room, turning to look at his partner before going out the door. "See you in a few."

xxxxx

"Did daddy show you the picture I made for you when you were sick, Uncle Callen?" Kamran asked, looking at Callen. "Did you like it?"

"Uh…" Callen looked back at Kam, not having a clue what she was talking about.

"Sorry, baby girl," Sam said contritely. "There was a lot going on. I totally forgot to show him the picture you made. I can get it now." He began fumbling in his pocket for his phone.

Kamran quickly shook her head. "That's okay. It's better this way. I can show him the real picture. I'll go get it."

"After dinner," Michelle said, resulting in another eye roll from her daughter, but Kam didn't say anything and resumed eating her meal.

Sam glanced at his partner and saw he was absorbed in eating and hadn't seemed to notice the brief moment of tension. He knew family drama was the last thing Callen needed. He would be having a talk with Kamran later in an attempt to nip it in the bud.

The meal continued on with some attempts at small talk, but it was mostly quiet. Callen seemed lost in his own little world and Kamran remained irked at her mother so she didn't say much. Michelle and Sam mostly just shared looks at each other. Everyone was glad when the meal came to its conclusion.

"Thanks, Michelle…that was really good," Callen said, patting his stomach after the last bite of hot homemade apple pie.

"I'm glad you liked it," Michelle said, smiling sincerely at him. "I need to fatten you up while you're here with us."

"Maybe Uncle Callen doesn't want to be fat," Kamran said with obvious attitude as she glared at her mother.

Callen looked at Kamran in surprise and then looked at Sam who shook his head. "I think you and I are going to have a little talk about respecting your mother, this evening," Sam said to Kamran who looked abashed at his words. "You know what she meant."

"Can I be excused?" Kamran asked.

"Clear the table first, please," Michelle said.

"Yes, **_mother_** ," Kamran said as she quickly began grabbing plates off the table and stomped off after she had gathered a stack of plates.

"Sorry about that, G," Sam said to his partner who just shrugged, but Sam could see he was uncomfortable with the situation.

"Its fine, Sam…"

Michelle looked at her husband. "I don't think you should make too big a deal of this, Sam," she said. "Kam's a pre-teen and mothers and daughters tend to clash during these years. I certainly did with my mother. I can handle it."

"Even so…I don't like it," Sam said. He looked at his wife with a trace of a smile on his face. "Don't worry. I'll go easy on her."

"Good." She turned to Callen, noting how tired he looked. "You feel like watching some t.v.?" she asked him.

Callen hesitated then shook his head. "No…I think I'm going to just head to bed early, if you don't mind…It's been a long day."

"Of course we don't mind," Michelle said. "You get some rest. There's an extra comforter on the top shelf, inside the closet, if you need it."

"Thank you," he said softly as he got up from the table. "Thanks to both of you, for everything…"

"Good night, G," Sam said. "Let me know if you need anything…anything at all, okay?"

Callen nodded. "Thanks, Sam." He then left the dining room and slowly trudged up the stairs to his room.

xxxxx

"So, did **_she_** chase Uncle Callen away after dinner?" Kamran asked Sam. The two were seated in what was basically used as a multi-function room. The main function was the family library. The walls were lined with bookshelves containing books of every kind, childhood books, cookbooks, novels and history books, just to name a few. There was a large antique desk and two leather chairs. Sometimes, Sam used it as a den or the kids would use it to study or read. Michelle would use it, from time to time, when she just needed a quiet place to go. Right now, Sam was using it because he wanted to make sure there was no chance of Callen overhearing their discussion. The room was relatively soundproof.

"Your Uncle Callen was tired, Kamran," Sam said. "He's been through a lot. What's up with this attitude of yours with your mom? I have to say, I don't like it."

Kamran sighed heavily, but didn't say anything.

"I'm waiting."

"She's always picking on me," Kamran said.

"I don't think that's true."

"Of course you're on her side."

"I'm not taking sides," Sam said. "I just want you to respect your mom. She's done a lot for you and she's had a hard time with me being gone also. It's not just you."

"I know," Kamran said, her head down, not meeting her father's eyes.

"And Kam…You know that your Uncle Callen had a very difficult childhood and some very bad things happened to him recently. I want him to feel comfortable in our home so he can rest and recover. I thought you would have wanted the same thing. But if not, I can have him go to Hetty's house instead."

"No, you can't do that," Kamran protested, finally meeting Sam's eyes, her own eyes brimming over with tears. "I want him to stay here with us."

"Well, I just might have to," Sam said, already inwardly beginning to melt at the sight of his daughter's tears. "I don't want him to be in a place that's going to make him feel bad. He's not going to get well that way. He's been through enough."

"I'm sorry. I want Uncle Callen to get well and be happy here too. I won't give mom a hard time anymore. I promise."

Sam reached for Kamran and she gladly went into his arms as he held her tightly. "Thank you, baby girl," he said.

"So daddy…what bad things happened to Uncle Callen?" Kamran asked when she finally pulled back from Sam's grasp.

Sam shook his head. "Nothing you want to hear about, sweetheart. Trust me on that."

"Really bad? Worse than the plane crash?" she asked, her eyes filled with worry as she gazed at her father.

Sam sighed, not really wanting to talk about any of this with his daughter. "It was all bad, Kam…let's just leave it at that…"

"Were you scared when you knew the plane was going to crash, daddy?" she persisted. "I would have been very scared."

"Yes, I was scared," Sam said honestly as he gazed into Kamran's eyes. "But I was mostly just sad that I might not ever get to see you, your brother or your mom again…that I couldn't say goodbye…tell you all how much I love you…"

Kamran threw her arms around Sam, crying once again as she buried her face into his chest. "We know you love us. I love you too, daddy," she said. "I just love you so much."

"I know you do, sweetheart," Sam said, his own eyes teary as he held her. "But don't worry…I'm home now and everything's going to be just fine…"


	42. Chapter 42

_Thanks so much for your really nice reviews for the last chapter. I've been pretty into writing this week so here's a little midweek bonus chapter. As always, I really appreciate those of you who are reading and supporting this story_ :)

xxxxx

Once Hetty had entered her home, she found that she just couldn't seem to keep still. She tried to do some paperwork, but was unable to concentrate on it. She then began to wander from room-to-room, wondering how her team was, but not wanting to make a nuisance of herself by calling them. She had told Kensi and Deeks that the NCIS doctor would be paying them a visit tomorrow, but she had not mentioned she would be accompanying him to check up on her agents. She supposed that Deeks could technically make a case for refusing the exam, but she really hoped he wouldn't put up a fuss. She had to make sure all were fit for duty before allowing them to take on field work. She had also deliberately not informed Sam or Callen about the upcoming exams, assuming that neither would be particularly thrilled, although Callen had promised to behave himself. She decided to make herself a cup of tea and her thoughts went to Callen. She had to admit that she wished he had decided to stay with her, but realized it wouldn't have made a lot of sense. Leaving him with a household staff while she worked would not have been to his benefit. He was better off with Sam and his family. She knew that Michelle and Kamran would give him the kind of care he deserved and which he had lacked for a large part of his life. Hopefully, he would soon be well on the road to recovery.

xxxxx

Sam had just collapsed on the sofa next to his wife to enjoy a bit of rest and relaxation when he put his hand over his face. "Damn," he said as he made a move to get back on his feet.

Michelle quickly grabbed her husband's hand, momentarily stopping him. "Where, exactly, do you think you're going?" she asked teasingly. "I'm not done with you yet. In fact, I haven't even started."

Sam chuckled as he looked down at her. "Don't worry, baby. I'll be back."

"Callen?" she asked softly as she released the grip on Sam's hand.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I'm sure you noticed the IV stuff the paramedics brought into the house?"

Michelle nodded.

"G is on IV antibiotics through tomorrow night. I just don't want to screw around with them and I'd bet money that he didn't even think about doing that before bedtime."

"I don't think I'll take that bet," Michelle said with a knowing smile. Callen had spent some time with them, both after the Venice Beach shooting and when he had been recovering from the Spiral virus. Each time had proved challenging when it had come to him taking medications and following doctor's orders. She expected no less this time around.

"It actually would be a lot easier for me to do it than for him to do it himself anyway," Sam admitted. "I should have thought of it. I won't be long." He looked down at Michelle with a warm smile before heading for the staircase. He walked upstairs and paused outside the door to Callen's room before knocking gently. "Hey G?" he called softly. "Can I come in?"

When there was no answer, he put his hand on the doorknob and edged the door open enough to poke his head in. He actually hadn't really believed his partner was as tired as he claimed and was surprised by what he saw. He pushed the door all the way open and stepped into the room. Callen was lying on his uninjured side, fast asleep, with one arm curled under his head and the other resting on his abdomen where some of his injuries were.

"Guess you are pretty wiped out, aren't you, buddy," Sam whispered, looking down at his friend fondly. He glanced over at the IV equipment and couldn't help but feel bad that he needed to disturb Callen's sleep. He gently shook his shoulder. "Hey G? Wake up."

"Sam?" Callen struggled to open his eyes then looked up at his partner blearily. "What's up?"

"Sorry to wake you. We forgot about your IV meds. I'm just going to get it set up and you can go back to sleep, okay?"

"I can do it," Callen murmured, but not very convincingly.

"I'm here now, G," Sam said, pulling sterile gloves onto his hands. "It's just as easy for me to do it. You've only got two more doses tomorrow and then it's onto oral antibiotics."

"That'll be good," Callen said. He then got himself into a sitting position, wincing slightly as he did so, which did not go unnoticed by Sam.

"You in much pain, G?" Sam asked as he hung the IV bag from the pole.

"No worse than usual," Callen replied.

"And how much is usual? You've got a whole bottle of pain meds you can take. I can get you one."

"I know," Callen said. "I don't need to take them though."

"Why's that?" Sam asked. "You playing the tough guy?"

"No…" Callen shrugged. "I'm fine, Sam…I just really don't need them."

Sam gave his partner a long look. "Well, I can't force you to take them," he admitted. "I don't see the point of you being in pain, but it's your choice."

"Don't worry about it, big guy," Callen said with a smile. "I'm doing okay."

Sam nodded as he inspected the flow of the IV and was satisfied with it. "Alright. This seems to be flowing okay. I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Thanks, Sam," Callen said. "Good night."

"Good night, G." Sam headed for the door and turned back to his partner. "Hey, I was thinking, if you want, I can drive you home tomorrow. You can pick up some clothes and anything else you might need."

"Yeah?" Callen's eyes brightened as he looked at his partner. "That'd be good, Sam. Thanks."

"No problem…I'll see you in the morning. Get some sleep." He was about to reach for the light switch on the wall by the door, but then remembered the light had been on when he had entered the room. He had assumed that Callen had just fallen asleep before he had a chance to turn off the light, but now he wondered if that had been deliberate on his partner's part. He left the room and closed the door quietly, leaving the light on.

xxxxx

Callen had watched with bated breath when he saw Sam's hand going towards the light switch, but then Sam had hesitated and finally left the room without turning it off. Callen knew, without a doubt, that Sam had figured him out. He was glad he hadn't said anything. He couldn't even imagine what he thought about having an adult partner who was all of a sudden afraid of the dark. Deep inside though, he knew Sam wasn't thinking anything bad about him. He always seemed to have his back no matter what.

The darkness was one thing he really hadn't had to deal with in the hospital. He'd kept the light on and no one had really thought twice about it. It was different now though. It wasn't that he hadn't tried. Twice he had turned the light off and laid down on Aiden's bed. Twice, he had flashed back to being inside the mine and ended up shaking with his heart pounding. It didn't take a genius to know he was suffering from PTSD. He just couldn't understand it though. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before no matter what he had gone through. Jonathan Page would be positively gleeful if he knew the affect some of his little games were having on him. He really needed to make an effort to put what had happened behind him. He knew he could do it if he tried.

xxxxx

Kamran reached under her mattress and pulled out the leather-bound journal that she kept there. She then pulled out the key from under one of the throw rugs on her bedroom floor. She opened the journal to the next blank page and began to write.

 _Today my dad finally came home with Uncle Callen. I can't believe how much I missed him. When he picked me up and held me, it was the best feeling in the world. I can't even imagine how awful it was to be in a plane crash. They are all so lucky that they're alive. It scares me so much to think how bad it might have been._

 _So, like I said, Uncle Callen was with my dad. He is going to be staying here for a while. I don't think he is doing so good. He looks kinda sick and really thin. Mom said she wanted to fatten him up and I told her he might not want to get fat (I was being kind of a wise ass I guess) but she is right. He needs to eat some of her home cooking and he'll feel better._

 _Daddy said I need to be more respectful to mom or Uncle Callen won't be able to stay with us so I'm going to have to try (It won't be easy.) I don't want him to have to leave though. Daddy said some bad things happened to Uncle Callen when they were gone, but he wouldn't say what. On one hand, I'd really like to know what happened, but on the other hand, maybe I don't. I hate the thought that someone hurt him. He's always so nice to me, but right now he just seems quiet and not like himself. I really hope he gets better soon. That's all for now._

Kamran closed the journal and carefully locked it, then put the journal and the key back in their proper hiding places. She then went to reach for the lamp on her bedside table to turn it off and try to sleep. However, at the last moment, she decided to get out of bed and put on her slippers before she quietly left her room. She walked down the hallway to her brother's room, trying to be as silent as she could. When she reached the door, she quietly opened it and went to Callen's bedside. He was asleep with the blankets all messed up, one of them halfway on the floor. Kamran picked up the blanket and gently put it over Callen then straightened out the covers before speaking softly. "I don't know how anyone could ever hurt you, but don't worry…we're going to take care of you and make you all better." She then gave him a tender kiss on his cheek. "I love you, Uncle Callen," she whispered before turning around and leaving as quietly as she had come.


	43. Chapter 43

_My thanks to all of you who are reading and commenting :)_

xxxxx

Callen slept straight through the night and awoke feeling both surprised and pleased that he hadn't experienced any nightmares. That had to be a good sign. It had been quite some time since he had slept so well. Hospitals weren't exactly known for being especially restful with beeping monitors, intercom announcements and the all night hustle and bustle of hospital personnel busily working. He had just sat up when there was a knock on his door. "Come in," he called out. The door opened and Sam walked into the room. He was already dressed.

"Good morning, G," Sam said, smiling at his partner. "I thought maybe we should take care of your I.V. before breakfast."

Callen nodded. "Sure, thanks Sam. What time is it?"

"It's almost 9:30."

"Seriously? Wow…I didn't mean to sleep so late," Callen said.

"Why? Are you on a particular timeline for some reason?" Sam asked with a chuckle. "Sleep is the best thing for you, G."

"I guess so," Callen replied, "but even so…I don't usually sleep like that."

"Don't I know it, but I'd have to say it agrees with you because you're looking better than you have in a while," Sam said, pausing in his setup of the I.V. to observe his partner. He really did look well rested.

"I'm feeling pretty good today," Callen said.

"Well, don't push it, G," Sam said, a slight note of warning in his voice. "One good night's sleep doesn't mean you're cured."

Callen sighed, but didn't deny what Sam had said. "I know that, Sam," he finally said after a long silence.

Immediately, Sam felt bad as Callen seemed to deflate before his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't want to drag you down. I just…"

"It's alright," Callen said. "I get it, Sam…and I know I'm not cured. Slow and steady wins the race, right? For today, I'm just happy I woke up in your house instead of the hospital and I'm looking forward to going home, if even for just a short while."

"And Michelle is going to make homemade waffles for breakfast," Sam said, grinning.

"Yeah?" Callen smiled but then shook his head. "You know, Sam. I don't want her to be going to all this extra trouble on my account."

"It's not a big deal. And trust me. She wants to do it."

At that moment, both men were surprised by the sound of the doorbell ringing. "I wonder who that could be." Sam mused as he put the finishing touches on Callen's I.V.

Callen shrugged. "I don't know, Sam. It's your house."

A couple of moments later, there was a soft knock on the door and Michelle's voice sounded from the other side. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah baby, Callen's decent," Sam said, grinning at his partner who just shook his head, but was unable to hold back a smile.

"Sorry to disturb you," Michelle said as she opened the door. "Hetty is downstairs…with a doctor…"

"Really?" Callen asked, rolling his eyes. "Already? Couldn't she have waited even 24 hours?" He couldn't help but be aggravated by this turn of events. "For crying out loud, Sam."

"Come on, G…don't get upset. It's not a big deal. It'll be over before you know it."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said as she walked into the room. "Because Dr. Taylor is going to examine you, as well."

"Me? Why?" Sam asked, quickly becoming annoyed. "I'm perfectly fine, Hetty. I don't need an exam."

"It's strictly protocol, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said. "After all that has happened, you need to be medically cleared to return to full duty."

"Fine," said Sam, although from his expression, it was apparent that he was as irritated by the whole thing as Callen was.

"Dr. Taylor?" Callen asked. "I thought you said Dr. Bryant was going to be treating me. Seriously, Hetty, how many doctors are there?"

"Well, you're going to have to be cleared by the NCIS physicians as well as Dr. Bryant, so I don't think it will do any harm for him to take a quick look at you while he's here. If it's a problem, Mr. Callen, I'll allow you to forego the examination today."

Callen looked at Hetty suspiciously. "No, its fine, Hetty," he said. "I'll let Dr. Taylor examine me. After all, what's one more exam at this point?"

"If it makes you feel any better, we're going to be paying a visit to Ms. Blye and Mr. Deeks when we're done here," Hetty said, looking at Callen with a satisfied smile. She actually thought he appeared quite well today.

"Actually, it really doesn't make me feel better," said Callen. He looked at the I.V. in his arm and then at Sam. "I guess you should probably go first since I'm attached to this thing."

"Yeah, okay," said Sam. "I'll go down now and get it over with."

Michelle gave a sympathetic look to her reluctant husband as she followed him out of the room. Before she left, she turned back to Callen. "You'll get waffles when you're all through," she told him with a smile.

xxxxx

"So what's the verdict, Doc?" Sam asked. The examination had been quick and painless, just the way he liked it. He felt comfortable with Dr. Taylor, who was a tall, thin man in his mid to late 50s, with a friendly, unassuming manner about him. Sam had liked him immediately.

"Everything looks good, Sam," Dr. Taylor replied. "From a medical perspective, I'm going to sign you back into work a week from Monday."

Sam nodded and then realized what the doctor had said. "Wait, what? A week from Monday? But I'm perfectly fine. I can go back to work this coming Monday."

"No, Mr. Hanna, you cannot," Hetty said as she came down the stairs into the living room.

"This is your doing, Hetty?" Sam asked, shaking his head. "But why? I don't understand. There's nothing wrong with me."

"Call it a forced vacation. Call it whatever you wish, Sam, but you are not to return to work for a week. That's just the way it's going to be."

"Sam, is this really a bad thing?" Michelle asked her husband, placing her hand gently on his upper arm as she looked at him intently. "You've been away from us for weeks. I know I'd like for you to be home with me next week. I'm sure Kam would too."

Sam sighed then nodded as he met Michelle's eyes. "Yes…you're right. I guess I wasn't really thinking of that aspect of things," he admitted. "It'll be good to be home with you and Kam, and I can help you with our house guest if he gives you a hard time."

"I think he'd be more likely to give you a hard time than me, Sam," Michelle said with a teasing smile. "He's just as afraid of me as you are."

Sam smirked but didn't say anything.

"Why don't I show you where Mr. Callen is?" Hetty said to Dr. Taylor. The doctor nodded and followed Hetty upstairs.

"Poor G," Sam said shaking his head. "I think he was hoping to get at least one day free from medical personnel. I don't blame him for being sick of it."

"He'll be free of it soon enough, Sam," Michelle said. "But right now, I'm going to go start on the waffles. Then he can eat when the doctor is through with him."

"Thank you. He'll like that." Sam said as he followed her into the kitchen. "I'll keep you company and be your errand boy if you need help."

xxxxx

"You seem to be coming along well," Dr. Taylor said as he removed the blood pressure cuff from Callen's arm. Since Dr. Bryant will be treating you, I'll confer with him regularly to see where you're at. He's a colleague of mine so it should work out well. I basically just wanted to meet you today and get a better idea of what we're looking at."

Callen nodded, not wanting to tempt fate or the doctor into doing anything more than that. "Thank you…it was good to meet you."

"Good to meet you too." Dr. Taylor put his equipment back into his black bag and left the room with Callen trailing along behind him as they walked downstairs.

"That was fast," Hetty said, giving the two men a surprised look.

"I didn't see the point of an extensive exam seeing as he just got out of the hospital yesterday," Dr. Taylor said, with a smile. "I think Agent Callen has had about all he can stand of doctors for the time being."

"Hmm…" Hetty said, looking at Callen suspiciously.

"I didn't do anything, Hetty," Callen defended quickly before she could accuse him of any misdeeds.

Dr. Taylor chuckled. "He didn't, Hetty," he said. "He was a model patient."

"I see…" Hetty said. "Very well, we do have another visit to make so we should be on our way."

Just then, Sam came into the living room followed by Michelle. "Would you like to join us for breakfast?" Michelle asked, directing her gaze to where Hetty and the doctor stood.

"Oh, no thank you, Michelle," Hetty said. "We're going to be on our way. I hope you have a lovely weekend. Mr. Callen…" She gave a long look to her team leader. "Do take care of yourself."

"I will, Hetty," Callen said with a nod. He appeared tense until Hetty and the doctor were out the door and then he breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Come on, G," Sam said, throwing his arm around his partner's shoulders. "Let's go have some breakfast."

xxxxx

"Good morning, Hetty," Deeks said with a welcoming smile as he opened the door and allowed her to enter his and Kensi's home.

"Good morning, Mr. Deeks." Hetty was carrying a box, with a Styrofoam tray holding two cups of coffee on top of it, which she handed off to Deeks. "Pastries from O'Sullivan's Bakery. I assumed that you and Ms. Blye might be a bit lacking in the food department."

"You assumed correctly," Deeks said with a grin. "This makes exams almost worth it. Thank you, Hetty. Please, have a seat."

Hetty nodded and made herself comfortable on the sofa.

"You're welcome. By the way, this is Dr. Taylor."

"Good to meet ya, I'm Marty Deeks." Deeks put the tray and bag down on the coffee table and extended his hand to the doctor who shook it. "So…I'm not used to doctors who make house calls. Where should we do this?"

"Do you have a bedroom we can use?" Dr. Taylor asked.

"Yes, this way," Deeks said as he led the doctor down the hall.

At that point, Kensi slowly made her way into the living room from the bathroom, her wet hair in a ponytail, having just showered. "Good morning, Hetty," she said.

"Good morning, Ms. Blye." Hetty said. "How is your ankle after yesterday's travels?"

"It feels pretty good," Kensi said as she lowered herself onto the sofa next to Hetty and put her crutches aside, then situated herself to face her superior. "How are you today?"

"Oh I'm fine, dear, just fine." Hetty smiled and patted Kensi's hand. "I brought you and Mr. Deeks some coffee and pastry. Why don't you eat something?"

"Well, I probably should wait until after the exam, shouldn't I?" Kensi asked.

"Oh I don't think there's any need for that. He's not going to be taking any blood. Go ahead, eat."

Kensi opened the pastry box and she looked appreciatively at the contents. "Oh Hetty, these look amazing." She passed the box to the operations manager.

"Thank you, but I've already had my breakfast, Miss Blye. Now eat."

Kensi pulled out an apple pastry from the box and sighed blissfully as she took a bite. "These are delicious, Hetty. Thank you so much for bringing them. Are you sure you don't want one?"

"Quite sure. Those are for you and Mr. Deeks to enjoy."

"We definitely will," said Kensi as she took another bite.

xxxxx

"I'd like you to make an appointment with a physical therapist so you can get some exercises to improve the strength and range of motion of your shoulder," Dr. Taylor said to Deeks as they walked back into the living room.

"But I can still return to work, right?" Deeks asked. "There's lots I can still do." Dr. Taylor looked at Hetty who spoke.

"None of you are returning to work until at least a week from Monday, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said. "Owen and I came to that decision together. We think, after your ordeal, some rest and relaxation is in order."

"Oh…okay then," Deeks said, not really against the idea of having a week off.

Dr. Taylor then looked at Kensi and gave her a piece of paper. "Here's the name of an orthopedic specialist I'd like you to see. He'll x-ray your ankle to check on the progress of its healing, and advise you on the proper steps to take. You should make an appointment with him as soon as possible."

"So you don't need to examine me?" Kensi asked.

Dr. Taylor smiled. "Well, I can take your vital signs if you'd like, but I don't really think it's necessary unless you want me to."

"No, that's fine with me," Kensi said, smiling back at the doctor.

"And now we will let you get on with the rest of your day," Hetty said as she stood up from the sofa.

"Are you going to see Callen and Sam now?" Deeks asked.

"We've already done that," Hetty replied.

"How's Callen doing?" Kensi asked.

"He appeared well rested and seemed to be doing quite well, actually," said Hetty. "I hope he continues to improve."

"That's good to hear," Kensi said with a pleased look.

Deeks walked Hetty and the doctor to the door then went back to the sofa and sat down beside Kensi. He then hungrily opened the pastry box. "I've been thinking of these ever since Hetty brought them through the door," he said, perusing the contents before pulling out a raspberry pastry.

"They really are good," Kensi said.

Deeks nodded as he chewed and swallowed his first bite of the flaky goodness. "Oh yeah, they are," he agreed enthusiastically.

"So, what should we do with our time off?" Kensi asked.

"I don't know." Deeks shrugged as he took another bite of the delicious pastry. "I'm sure we'll figure something out."

xxxxx

Callen and Sam's day went well. They visited Callen's home and Sam was surprised that his partner did not put up any fuss when it came to leaving again to return to Sam's house. He had quickly gathered up some of his clothes and laptop. Then, after clearing a few questionable items from the refrigerator, he had been ready to leave without complaint. Sam had offered to drive Callen anywhere he wanted to go, but Callen had declined and they had returned to the Hanna home. Callen had then decided to go upstairs for a nap.

"So…everything went well?" Michelle asked her husband as they sat in the living room together, waiting for Kam to return from school.

"Yeah…he's doing everything he's supposed to do without complaining," Sam said. "It's weird."

"Would you rather he gave you a hard time?" Michelle asked, laughing.

Sam smiled sheepishly at his wife. "No…it's not that…" He then just shook his head. "I don't know…never mind. I guess I'm being silly."

"I guess you are," Michelle said, resting her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her. "Let's not worry about Callen unless he gives us a real reason to do so. After all, he's just doing what normal people do when they recover from bad situations."

"Yeah, you're right," Sam said out loud, but he still couldn't quite quell the nagging feeling inside of him that was telling him that something wasn't quite right with his partner. Hopefully, he was just being overprotective.

xxxxx

Callen slept for about 45 minutes before he awoke abruptly with his heart pounding and an ice cold sweat covering his body. He was pretty sure he'd had a nightmare, but he couldn't remember what it had been about. He just hoped he hadn't been screaming, but when Sam didn't come to his side, he was pretty sure he hadn't been. He got out of bed and got a new set of clothes, then, still feeling somewhat shaky went to take a hot shower to help him calm down.

xxxxx

Callen and Kamran were sitting in front of the television, both intently concentrating on the video game, on the screen. "You have to go fish in the pond now," Kamran directed Callen, who was currently holding the game controller as they played _the Book of Unwritten Tales 2_.

"It's almost time for dinner, you two," Michelle said with a smile as she came into the living room. "Who's winning?"

"We're not playing against each other," Kamran corrected. "We're working together."

"Well, why don't you go wash up now," Michelle said to her daughter. "You can play some more after dinner. Your homework is finished, right?"

"Yes, it's finished." Kamran successfully won the battle not to roll her eyes and paused the game. She then ran off to wash up for dinner.

Just as Kam headed out of the room, Sam came in through the front door, carrying a bag from Ben & Jerry's. "It's pouring out there," he said as he handed Michelle the bag and took off his thoroughly soaked jacket.

"Kind of glad I didn't go with you," Callen commented.

"Well, you are kind of a delicate flower, G," Sam said, grinning at his partner. "I wouldn't have wanted you to catch cold."

"You're hilarious, Sam," Callen said, smirking good-naturedly.

xxxxx

After a tasty dinner of spaghetti and meatballs with ice cream for dessert, the remainder of the evening was a pleasant one. Callen and Kamran resumed their game while Sam organized some old case files on his computer and Michelle sat quietly reading. When it was Kamran's bedtime, Callen decided to turn in as well and Sam and Michelle retired for the night a short time later.

At about 3:30 a.m., Kamran woke up to use the bathroom. As she headed back to her bedroom, she thought she heard her Uncle Callen calling out from his room. She opened his door quietly and peered inside to see him thrashing about on his bed.

"Let me go!" he cried out fretfully. The covers were twisted around him and he was struggling to free himself from whatever demons were attacking him in his dreams. "Someone help me, please."

Kamran hesitated, wondering if she should go get her father, but she then approached Callen cautiously. "Uncle Callen? It's okay…you're just having a bad dream…I'll help you." She drew closer to him and untangled some of the blankets only to get hit squarely in the face when Callen's fist flew out from under a blanket.

"Ow!" Kamran called out in distress and quickly backed away, almost falling in the process, just as Callen awoke.

Callen looked at Kamran in confusion. Her eyes were filled with tears and her hands were over her nose which was bleeding.

"Kam?"

"Don't…don't touch me," she said. "You…you stay away from me."

"Kam, honey…I…" Callen looked at the crying child and suddenly saw the face of every child who had been in bad foster homes with him…every child who had been hit or hurt or verbally assaulted in some way by one of the many monsters they had encountered in the system.

"You hurt me, Uncle Callen," she said, openly sobbing now. "How…how could you do that to me?" She then ran out of the room leaving him staring after her, sick to his stomach and utterly horrified by what he had done.


	44. Chapter 44

_Thanks for all the supportive words for the last chapter. Because of the way I left it, I tried to update quickly. It's still pretty "cliffy" I guess, but hopefully not as bad as the last chapter. Thanks so much for reading_ :)

xxxxx

"Mom! Daddy!" Kamran ran into Sam and Michelle's room, hysterically crying, with her nose dripping blood. Her parents were immediately jarred, unceremoniously, from their sleep.

"Oh my God, Kam," Michelle stared at her daughter in shock as the girl climbed onto the bed and got between her mother and father. "What happened to you?"

Kamran continued to sob, not answering the question.

"Kamran, baby girl, talk to us," Sam said, watching as his wife went to his dresser and pulled out one of his t-shirts then balled it up and pressed it against their daughter's nose.

"Un…Un…Uncle Callen hit me," Kamran cried, barely able to get the words out.

"Callen did this to you?" Sam yelled angrily. He was about to get out of bed when Michelle grabbed him.

"Go downstairs and get the ice pack and a towel," Michelle said, her demeanor and voice calm as she spoke.

"But…"

"Now, Sam. Hurry."

Sam quickly left the bedroom, wanting to head for Callen's room, but realizing his daughter was more important, so he did as Michelle had requested. When he returned, a few minutes later, Michelle was holding their daughter in her arms, murmuring soft reassurances to her.

"Wrap the ice bag in the towel and hold it up over her nose. It will help keep the swelling down," Michelle told her husband and Sam did it and got onto the bed next to Kamran.

"It's going to be okay, baby girl," he murmured softly, glad to see that she had stopped crying and had calmed down quite a bit.

xxxxx

After Kamran had fled from his room, Callen couldn't stop thinking about the accusatory way she had looked at him. She had been in tears, in pain and very obviously afraid of him. He didn't even remember what he had done to her, but he knew it must have been terrible. His own breathing had increased dramatically and he couldn't seem to stop his body from shaking. After everything that Sam and his family had done for him, this was the way he had repaid them? He hated people who hurt children. He had always deemed it an unforgivable act and now he was one of the people who committed those acts. He was no different than the monsters he despised. He couldn't stay here anymore. He had to leave. He gathered what he could stuff into his backpack and just left the rest. He then crept downstairs, opened the front door and silently walked out into the dark, rainy night. He realized he hadn't brought his jacket, but it really didn't matter. Nothing really mattered anymore...

xxxxx

"Can you talk about what happened now?" Michelle asked Kamran. The bleeding had stopped and the injury really didn't look very bad at all. "Can you tell us why Uncle Callen hit you?"

"I'll go find out," Sam said, bristling. "I'll beat it out of him."

"Sam, stop it," Michelle scolded. "You're not helping. We need to know what happened from Kamran, not from you pummeling it out of Callen."

"There's no excuse for it, Michelle." Sam shook his head. "Of all the people to have done this…I can't believe he would do such a thing."

Michelle ignored him and turned her attention back to their daughter. "Kamran? What happened, sweetheart?"

"I…I…was walking in the hall and I heard Uncle Callen calling."

"What?!" Sam exclaimed. "He called you into his bedroom in the middle of the night?"

"No," Kamran said, shaking her head.

"Sam! Will you please calm down and let her talk?" Michelle demanded.

"Can't believe my so-called partner would hurt my little girl," Sam muttered.

"I opened the door and he was having a bad dream. He was yelling for someone to let him go and was crying out for help. He was all tangled up in the covers. I was going to go get you, daddy, to help him," Kam said, looking at Sam, "but then I decided to do it myself."

Michelle sighed softly, already knowing where this particular story was going.

"Then what?" Sam asked, wanting to hear every detail from his daughter's lips.

"I was trying to untangle him and then he hit me."

"Was he awake?" Sam asked.

Michelle shook her head. "Sam, stop. You know he wasn't awake. He would never knowingly hit our daughter."

"He did hit me, mom," Kamran said, her eyes beginning to well again. "He hurt me."

"He's not going to hurt you any more, sweetheart," Sam said, hugging his daughter. "I can promise you that."

"Are you going to go beat him up, daddy?" Kamran asked. "You would win really easy. You could beat him up real good. You're much bigger than him and you have big muscles. He'd be sorry then."

"Your father is not going to beat up, Uncle Callen," Michelle said. "I'm sure he's already very sorry for what happened."

"Don't count on that," Sam muttered under his breath and Michelle glared at him.

Kamran shook her head. "I'm not calling him Uncle Callen anymore. I don't want him to stay with us either. Can you make him leave?"

Michelle and Sam exchanged a long look. "We'll take care of it in the morning," Michelle said.

"Can I sleep in here with you and daddy? I'm afraid to sleep in my room. He might come and try to hurt me again."

"Yes, you can stay here, Kam," Michelle said, kissing her daughter's forehead. "You're safe, sweetheart. No one's going to hurt you anymore." She looked over at Sam who was obviously still very upset and angry. She spoke softly to him. "You need to check on him."

"I don't think that's a very good idea right now."

"Sam, please," Michelle looked at him pleadingly. "Think about his life, about what he's gone through. I know you're angry, but are you really going to just leave him alone in there? You have no idea what's going on in his head right now."

"I don't care," Sam stated, but his tone lacked any real conviction.

"I don't care either," Kamran echoed her father then stared at her mother suspiciously. "Are you on his side?"

"Of course not," Michelle said, looking hurt at the suggestion. "Your daddy and I are always on your side. It's just very complicated, sweetheart. Do you really think Un… Callen knew what he was doing when he hurt you?"

Kamran heaved a dramatic sigh. "You've always told me that no one is ever allowed to touch me if I don't want them to."

"That's true…No one is allowed to touch you…It's just…could this have been an accident, because he was having a nightmare?"

Kamran thought about the question then shrugged.

"Kamran, please. This is important.

"I don't know…but he still hurt me, even if it was an accident…"

"So it could have been an accident?"

"Maybe," Kam admitted. "But it's no excuse and I still don't want him here."

"Don't worry. If you don't want him here, we'll find somewhere else for him to go, Kam," Michelle reassured her daughter. Kam's sense of security was the most important thing here. If their daughter did not feel safe, Callen needed to leave. She looked at Sam again and silently mouthed the words, _check on him_.

Sam nodded. "Alright, I'll be right back." He left the room and walked down the hall at a snail's pace, making sure he was under control. With the mood he was in, he knew he could easily snap and if that happened, he could hurt Callen pretty badly. He doubted the other man would even try to defend himself. As angry as he was, he didn't want that to happen. He reached Aiden's room and knocked on the door, rolling his eyes when Callen didn't answer him. "I know you're not sleeping," Sam said loudly. Shaking his head in annoyance, he opened the door and walked into the room only to find it empty. "Damn it, G…Are you kidding me? What the hell have you done now?" He quickly looked over the rest of the house to ensure that Callen had indeed left, then went back upstairs. Michelle put her finger to her lips when Sam walked into the room and pointed at Kamran who was asleep.

"What did he say?" Michelle asked.

Sam shook his head. "He didn't say anything. He's gone."

"He's gone?" Michelle looked at Sam in dismay. "Oh no…that's not good."

"No…no it isn't."

"So, now what?"

Sam sighed as he walked over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans and a clean Henley and proceeded to dress as he talked. "Now I'm going out in the middle of the night to look for my partner and I'm about to ruin Deeks' night too because I'm going to call him to see if he'll help me look."

"Maybe Callen called a taxi? Maybe he just went home."

"As far as I know, he doesn't have any money or any access to any. He doesn't even have a phone. All that stuff got lost in the plane crash and to my knowledge, he doesn't have replacements yet. Hetty gave new phones and credentials to Deeks, Kensi and me in Seattle, but G was in bad shape at the time and I don't remember her giving him anything, even after he started to improve."

"Well…maybe he just took a taxi to Hetty and got money from her when he got there?"

"Maybe…" Sam shook his head doubtfully. "If he was there though, Hetty would call and let us know." He didn't really want to call and wake Hetty in the middle of the night with this news. "I honestly don't know what he'll do…" He looked down at Kamran and then back at Michelle. "I have no idea what his mental state will be after something like this." He grabbed his cell phone from the nightstand and proceeded to dial Deeks' number.

xxxxx

The ringing of his cell phone jolted Deeks out of a sound sleep. "Damn," he said, fumbling to find his phone through half open eyes. Finally he grabbed it and looked at the Caller ID. "Sam," he said to Kensi who was awake beside him. "This can't be good." He clicked the phone on and held it up to his ear. "Hello?" He then listened to Sam's abbreviated version of all that had happened. "Sure I'll help you look for him. Which way are you going?" He nodded. "Okay, I'll leave soon. Sorry this happened, Sam."

"What's wrong?" Kensi asked, looking at Deeks apprehensively as he clicked off his phone.

Deeks turned to Kensi. "Long story short, Callen was having a nightmare. Kamran heard him calling out for help in his room. She went to try to help him and he hit her in the face. I guess her nose was bleeding and there was quite a scene. By the time Sam went to check on Callen, he was gone."

"Oh no… Poor Kamran…poor Callen," Kensi said sadly, her eyes full of sympathy.

Deeks nodded as he flung off the covers and went to grab some clothes. "Sam asked if I'd help try to find him. He doesn't think Callen has any money or even a phone. I don't think he'll get very far."

"He can steal a car if he wants to," Kensi said, playing devil's advocate.

"I doubt he's going to steal a car." Deeks then hesitated as he looked at Kensi searchingly. "Do you really think he'd do that?"

Kensi shrugged. "I don't know, probably not. Hopefully, he wouldn't. I'm just saying he could. He could pick pockets too."

"Are we talking about Callen or Oliver Twist?" Deeks asked, grinning at Kensi, but quickly turning serious again.. "I doubt he has the presence of mind right now to do much of anything, Kensi. He was having psychological issues before this happened. Not to mention, where would he find these people to pickpocket, at this hour, in a residential area? He could go rob a convenience store too, couldn't he? I would hope he's not going to embark on a life of crime because of an accident. He's probably just roaming around out there." He finished dressing and grabbed for his phone then stuffed it into his jacket pocket. "I'll keep you posted." He then gave Kensi a quick kiss before heading towards the doorway of their bedroom.

"Good luck, Deeks," Kensi said.

He turned and gave her a smile. "Thanks…Hopefully, we'll find him soon."


	45. Chapter 45

_Thanks for all the nice words for the last chapter. I've been updating much quicker than usual this week because my job has been slow, but I think the fast updates will be ending now although I will try to update on Sunday as usual._

 _On another note, I was so saddened to hear about the passing of Miguel Ferrer today. He really brought the character of Owen Granger to life and I'm sure will be missed by many of us. May he rest in peace_ :(

xxxxx

Callen was shivering as he walked, but he barely even noticed. Nor was he paying any attention at all to his surroundings or which direction he was going. His thoughts were focused on only one thing. How could he have beaten Sam and Michelle's daughter? He had absolutely no recollection of what had happened which concerned him even more. Maybe he truly was crazy. For him to have hurt a child and not remember it was really bad. He had no idea what circumstances could have led to such a thing. Had she done some tiny little thing to irk him and he had just lost control of himself? Or had she done nothing at all? That often was the case with people who abused children. They didn't need a reason to do the things they did. It had been the case for him and many of his peers growing up in some of the awful places they had been placed in. There had been plenty of times when he was innocently watching television, playing, reading or doing nothing at all, when he had been grabbed and beaten for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Those had been horrible times and now he had inflicted that same thing on an innocent child…Sam's child… It was said that many victims of child abuse grew up to abuse children themselves. Now, he, himself was one of those statistics.

xxxxx

Sam sighed as steered his Challenger onto yet another street, his eyes scanning the area, but he could see no sign of his partner. Now that he was out of the house, he had calmed down considerably and was really starting to worry about Callen. He just wished that Kamran had come and gotten him instead of trying to handle his nightmare on her own. Now the whole thing was just one big mess. He could not, in good conscience, have Callen stay in their home if their daughter was afraid of him. His child's safety and wellbeing was his first priority. However, he could not help but think of the affect this could have on Callen. Sam, his wife and children were the closest thing Callen had to a family besides Hetty. He already had abandonment issues. If they were to turn their backs on him, he knew the outcome would not be a good one.

xxxxx

Deeks turned down his windshield wipers to the lowest speed as the rain had dwindled to just a light drizzle. At least that was one good thing, although Callen was likely already soaked, unless he had found somewhere to take shelter. He couldn't help but wonder if their team leader was ever going to get a break. Whenever it looked like things might be working out for him, something else always happened to knock him back down again. He couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. He had seen a couple of people out and about since he started searching, but none were walking with Callen's familiar gait. Finally, just as he was about to call Sam to brainstorm about where to search next, he spotted him. He pulled his car up ahead of Callen and parked it, then got out and leaned against the vehicle, waiting and hoping the other man wasn't going to run.

Deeks watched as Callen got closer and then proceeded to walk right by him, without a sign of recognition on his face. "Callen?" he finally called out, stopping the other man in his tracks.

"Deeks." Callen turned back and looked at him, obviously confused. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you." Deeks approached him cautiously, not wanting to spook him. As he drew closer, he noted he was shivering. "You shouldn't be out here Callen. You're cold. Come into the car and get warm."

"Why?"

"Why?" Deeks asked, puzzled. "Because you're cold and wet. You don't want to end up sick, do you?"

Callen shrugged. "I don't really see that it matters one way or the other."

"Okay…maybe it doesn't matter to you, but it matters to me." Deeks shook his head, frustrated. "Come on…please?" He gently put his hand on Callen's back in an attempt to guide him to the car.

Callen did as Deeks wanted, not really up to any displays of resistance. Before he got into the car, Deeks took off his jacket and draped it over Callen when he got inside.

"I don't need this, Deeks," Callen protested.

"Just take it, Callen," Deeks said. "You're shivering." He turned the heat up to the warmest setting and pulled out his cell phone, then pressed the button with Sam's number. "I've got him. Yeah…he's cold, but hopefully getting some sleep in a nice, warm bed will help. I'm going to take him back to our place. We'll talk in a few hours. Okay, bye."

Assuming that Deeks had been speaking with Hetty, Callen paid no attention to the phone call. "You can just drop me off at my house," Callen said, glancing over at the younger man.

"Sorry, no can do, Callen," Deeks said. "For right now, you're coming home with me. In a few hours, if you don't want to stay with us, we'll discuss other possibilities, but it's too late…or early right now to do anything except get you warmed up and into bed."

Callen sighed, but didn't say anything more. He would never admit it, but he was actually glad that Deeks had tracked him down. He had needed to be out of Sam's house, but he was honestly just too weak and exhausted to be walking around outside for much longer. He was too far off his game. He wondered if he would ever start to feel better. He was still a long way from his usual self, both physically and mentally, and now he had destroyed the most important relationship in his life. He felt like everything had been in a constant state of turmoil ever since the day they had stepped onto that plane. He questioned if things were ever going to be okay again. It sure didn't feel like they would be. But then again, after what he had done, he really didn't deserve for things to be okay anyway.

xxxxx

"Callen." Kensi hugged him as he came in through the front door, followed by Deeks. "I was so worried about you. You're soaking wet. Do you want to take a shower? I put clean towels in the bathroom. Do you need clothes? I'm sure Deeks has something you can wear."

Callen stared at Kensi as the words poured from her mouth at a rapid fire rate. "I have some clothes, Kens," he said wearily, holding up his backpack.

"Oh…okay." She moved away from him and crutched over to the sofa. "Would you like some tea or maybe some hot cocoa?"

He shook his head. "No thanks…I will take you up on the shower though."

Kensi nodded. "Okay. You know where it is."

"Thanks." He managed to force the slightest hint of a smile, which looked more like a grimace, before walking off towards the bathroom.

"Where was he?" Kensi whispered as Deeks came over to the sofa and sat down tiredly beside her.

"He was on one of the streets near where Sam lives." Deeks shook his head and looked at Kensi. "He was so out of it. He didn't even realize I was standing outside my car until he was walking right by me and I called him. He's not himself at all."

"I just feel so bad for him," Kensi stated. "He loves Sam's kids. He would never deliberately hurt one of them."

"I know. It was just a freak accident." Deeks wearily ran his hand back through his hair and leaned back against the sofa, closing his eyes. "Hopefully, this will all just blow over. Kamran just needs to realize he didn't mean to hurt her."

"I just hope it's that easy," Kensi said, cuddling against him.

xxxxx

Callen stood under the spray of the shower, letting the hot pellets of water warm and soothe his cold body and tense muscles. "I'm so sorry, Kamran," he said softly, the water intermixing with silent tears he was finally allowing to fall. "I would never, ever want to hurt you. I can't believe I did this." After standing in the shower for about 10 minutes, he finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying himself with one of the clean towels that Kensi had left for him. He then pulled some royal blue sweats out of his backpack and put them on. He was practically asleep on his feet as he went back out into the living room, totally overwhelmed by all that had happened.

"Are you feeling any better?" Kensi asked, looking up Callen when he came back into their living room.

He nodded unconvincingly. "Yeah…thanks for the shower."

"You need to get some rest," Deeks said as he got up from the sofa.

"Not really. It's practically morning anyway," Callen said stubbornly.

"You **_need_** to get some rest," Deeks repeated emphatically.

For a few long seconds, Callen stared back at the young detective, not particularly liking the idea of Deeks ordering him around, but he didn't have it in him to even try to fight back. Finally, he just nodded. "Fine."

"I'll show you to your room," Deeks said.

Callen followed Deeks to the spare bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to fight against the utter fatigue that seemed to have overtaken his entire body.

"If you need anything, let me know."

Callen nodded. "Thanks, Deeks." He watched as Deeks closed the door and then he lay back on the bed, trying to put the events of the night out of his mind, but totally unable to do so. Eventually, the need for sleep overcame his dismal thoughts and he succumbed to an uneasy slumber.

xxxxx

 _"Is anybody here?" Callen asked tremulously as he cautiously tried to make his way through the pitch black mine. "Hello?!"_

 _"Can't you see me, Uncle Callen?" Kamran's voice echoed loudly through the mine. "I can see you."_

 _"Kamran? Where…where are you?"_

 _"I'm right here, Uncle Callen…right where you left me…"_

 _"What? I…I didn't leave you here, Kamran…I would never do that…"_

 _"You beat me up and left me here to die. You're a very bad man, Uncle Callen…You're the worst kind of evil. A child abuser…A child killer."_

 _"No!" He shook his head frantically, denying her words. "I would never do that."_

 _He turned abruptly and saw a white glow approaching him. He slowly backed up until he hit the wall of the mine. When he tried to move away from it, he could feel some kind of a slime oozing along the wall, a lifelike substance that curled into snake-like tendrils and moved all over his body, pinning him against the wall as the glow grew closer._

 _"I'm coming, Uncle Callen…" Kamran called, the sound of her voice chilling him to the core. "You can't escape me or the mine._

 _Finally the glow reached him. It was Kamran. She was dressed in a tattered white gown, spattered with blood stains. Her eyes were nothing but hollow holes, but they seemed as if they were staring right into his soul._

 _"Why did you do it, Uncle Callen?" she asked. "I used to love you and I thought you loved me too. Why did you kill me?"_

 _"I…I didn't, Kamran… I would never do that…I wouldn't…"_

 _"You hit me and hit me, again and again. You left me here to die. I was bleeding so badly and no one came to help me, no matter how many times I called for help. Mommy and daddy are so sad. You betrayed them. You betrayed my whole family. Daddy and Aiden want to kill you, but I don't want them to go to jail, so I'm going to take care of that for them. How would you like to die? Quick or slow? Slow or quick?" She giggled, an eerie, high-pitched sound, the likes of which he had never heard before._

 _"Kam…I…please…?"_

 _"Please?!" she shouted angrily. "How can you say that to me? When I begged you to stop beating me, you didn't listen. You just kept on and on. Please Uncle Callen, please stop! But you didn't stop!"_

 _"I…I didn't…"_

 _"You did! I'm dead and now you're going to die too!"_

 _He could feel the slimy substance tightening around him, crushing his chest and squeezing his neck, cutting off his airway, he knew that it was just a matter of time. Kamran…Kamran, please…" he gasped._

 _"Now, we will be together forever and ever, in the mine that you hate so much. You will remember what you did and suffer for all eternity…"_

 _xxxxx_

 _"_ I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please believe me!"

"Callen! Callen, wake up!"

Callen's eyes opened and he looked around the unfamiliar room in confusion. "Where…where am I?" he asked. "Where's Kam?"

"She's at home, Callen." Deeks sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the other man with concern. "You're at my and Kensi's place, remember?" There was a thin sheen of perspiration covering Callen's face and tears on his cheeks. No wonder Kamran had ended up with a bloody nose. If he had been experiencing a nightmare like this, she wouldn't have stood a chance. "Are you alright?"

"Kam's not home, Deeks. You're lying! Where is she?" Tell me!" Callen sat up in bed and roughly grabbed Deeks by his arm, right under his sore shoulder.

"What the hell, man…let go of me." Callen was much weaker than usual, but tight grip he had on Deeks' arm was still causing him a decent amount of pain.

"Tell me the truth, Deeks. Is she in the hospital? Which one?" Callen released Deeks' arm, but his blue eyes remained focused on him in a piercing gaze.

"She's not in the hospital, Callen."

"Why won't you tell me?" Callen demanded. "I know I probably don't have the right to know after what I did to her, but please give me something, Deeks. I don't need to know which hospital. I know Sam wants to protect her from me. At least tell me how she is…please?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Deeks asked, looking at Callen incredulously. "What do you think happened to her?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Callen made a move to lie back down but Deeks grabbed him by his upper arms, preventing him from doing so.

"Answer me, Callen. What do you think happened to her?"

"No!" Callen shook his head agitatedly, trying to escape Deeks' grasp. "I won't talk about this. I won't!"

"Kamran is going to be fine. It was an accident, man. You know it was an accident, don't you?"

Images of Kamran's scared face, her tears, blood coming from her nose, filled Callen's mind. He could still hear her voice, telling him not to touch her, saying how he had hurt her. He tried to pull away from Deeks once again and this time Deeks let him go as Callen lay back down and huddled underneath the blankets, blocking the other man from his sight. "I'm a monster who beat up a little girl," he whispered. "It was not an accident."

xxxxx

 _I know that Kensi and Deeks talked about wanting a spare bedroom at the beginning of "The Seventh Child," so I decided to give them one for storyline purposes ;)_


	46. Chapter 46

_Some of you have wanted Deeks to talk to Callen as they have similar shared experiences and it does make sense. I'm very out of my depth as far as any psych stuff goes so please take that into consideration with this chapter. I did the best I could. *fingers crossed that I don't lose you all* As always, thanks for reading and for your supportive comments. I'm so appreciative :)_

xxxxx

"Callen…" Deeks stared at Callen, or rather Callen's back in shock as he remained huddled under the covers, facing in the opposite direction. "Come on, man…that's not what happened." He put his hand on Callen's shoulder but the other man didn't respond. "You were having a nightmare. Kam tried to wake you and you inadvertently hit her. That's all it was. I mean, I know it sucks, but you certainly didn't beat her up. That's just crazy."

Callen didn't respond at all. He remained silent and Deeks didn't even know if he had heard him or not. "Callen?" There was still only silence. "Fine," Deeks said with a sigh as he stood up. "You're going to have to talk to me or someone else at some point. You can't hide from this forever. I'll leave you alone for now." He then walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

xxxxx

"Deeks?" Kensi looked up at him, her eyes filled with concern, when he reentered their bedroom. "Is Callen alright?"

He shook his head as he got into bed beside Kensi and put his arm around her, holding her tightly, needing to feel her warmth and closeness. "He's about as far from alright as he can be, Kens," he said quietly. "I really thought if he came home that things would be better for him, you know?"

"Well, you couldn't have foreseen this thing with Kam happening."

"Yeah I know," Deeks said. "He just keeps getting dealt the crappiest hands though."

"So, what do you think we should do?" Kensi asked.

"I honestly don't know," Deeks admitted. "He doesn't seem to know which end is up. He said he beat up Kamran. I don't know if he's just over exaggerating what happened or if he just doesn't remember because he wasn't awake and really believes that he beat her."

Kensi shook her head. "That's not good."

Deeks sighed heavily. "No…no, it's not. It's still early, but I'm going to call Sam a little later and see what he thinks about it, then maybe I'll try to talk to Callen again. I don't claim to know exactly what he's going through, but I do have some frame of reference."

"You should see if you can get a little sleep," Kensi said, knowing what Deeks was referring to, but not really wanting to think about when he and Sam were tortured by Sidorov. Those had been dark days.

"Yeah…yeah, I'll try… Hopefully, Callen will be able to get some sleep too."

xxxxx

After Deeks had left him alone again, Callen tossed the covers aside and sat up in bed. He was still shaky from the nightmare. It had been a real doozy and it proved just how messed up he was. He thought about what Deeks had said, but he didn't really believe him. Sam's absence pretty much confirmed that it wasn't true. Sam wouldn't be able to stay away if things were really okay between them. He wasn't sure what he ought to do next. He didn't really want to stay here, intruding on Kensi's and Deeks' lives. But he didn't want to stay with Hetty either. He really just wanted to go home, but he knew if he did that, Hetty would just have him committed to that hospital she had mentioned, against his will. She had tasered him before…he really wouldn't put anything past her. There was a very good chance he'd end up in a straightjacket. Sometimes the tiny woman was just plain scary. If he was physically capable, he would just disappear for a while, but the sad fact was, he just wasn't able to do that right now. With the limited options he had available, he realized that staying put was likely his best choice for now, at least until he could think of something better.

xxxxx

Sam had been dozing fitfully, on and off, since he returned home, but had never fallen into what he would describe as a truly restful sleep. This time, when he opened his eyes, he found himself being scrutinized by his daughter who was sitting between him and Michelle on their bed.

"Good morning, daddy," she said softly.

"Hey baby girl. How are you feeling?" he asked as he sat up in bed, eyeing her observantly. Her nose looked a little bit swollen and was minimally bruised, but he was relieved to see it didn't look bad at all.

"I feel okay," Kamran said. "My nose doesn't really hurt very much. It's just sore if I touch it."

"Well then try not to touch it," Sam instructed with a smile.

"Okay," Kam said with a nod.

He was momentarily distracted when he saw Michelle stretching beside Kamran. "Good morning," she said. "Kam, sweetheart. Let me take a look at you."

Kamran obediently turned to her mother so she could inspect her face. "Well that actually looks pretty good," Michelle said. "Does it hurt?"

"Not very much."

"Well, how would you like some breakfast?" Michelle asked with a smile. "I can make pancakes."

"Is ** _he_** going to be eating with us?" Kamran asked petulantly. "I won't eat with him."

Sam shook his head. "No…he's gone, Kamran."

"He is?" Her expression visibly brightened up which caused Sam's heart to sink. "Good. I'm glad."

"Kamran…" Michelle began after exchanging a look with her husband.

"I don't want to talk about it," Kamran said. "I'm just glad he's gone."

"I would like to talk about it though," Sam said, his tone gentle as he looked at Kamran.

Kamran sighed. "Daddy…"

"Just for a few minutes," Sam said. "I'd just like you to tell me again what happened."

"Fine!" Kamran sighed again, this time much more dramatically. "I went to use the bathroom. When I was going back to my room, I could hear him calling out. He was moving all around and the covers were all tangled up. I went to help him and he hit me."

"Okay…" Sam said with a nod. "Was he awake when this happened?"

Kamran thought for a few moments before shaking her head. "No…no I don't think so," she admitted, "but daddy…"

"Sweetheart, can't you see that this was an accident?" Sam asked her. "Don't you understand that Uncle Callen would never hurt you?"

"He **did** hurt me."

"Okay, I'll give you that," Sam said. "But he would never hurt you deliberately."

"But he still hurt me. There's no excuse for that."

Sam sighed softly and shook his head, realizing they were just going around in circles.

"Will he have to get a new job now?"

"Why would you even ask that?" Michelle entered the conversation.

"Daddy shouldn't have to work with someone who hurt me."

"He isn't going to get a new job," Sam said. "And before you ask, I'm not getting a new job either."

"Hmph." Kamran crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her father. "I don't know why you'd want to work with someone who would hurt your own daughter."

Michelle had been listening and watching the interaction between Sam and Kamran closely. "Kamran…it seems to me that you're almost more interested in punishing Callen than anything else."

"People should get punished when they hurt other people," Kamran said matter-of-factly.

"Even when it's an accident?" Sam asked. He was actually beginning to feel a little bit relieved. A spiteful child would be easier to deal with than one who was truly traumatized by what had happened.

"Yes. He still hurt me so he needs to be punished."

"So, what do you think that punishment should be?" Sam asked.

"Well…he could go to jail…"

"So, you'd like to see Uncle Callen put into a prison with lots of criminals?" Michelle asked. "With men who have done horrible things, men who could hurt him too? Is that what you think he deserves?"

"You're ruining this," Kamran said as she glared at her mother.

"You know that Uncle Callen went through some very bad things before we came home after the plane crash," Sam said. "Probably a lot worse than any punishment you might want to give him. It's why he was staying with us. It's why he's been having nightmares. You know people can't help having nightmares. You've had them before."

"I don't hit people when I have them."

"But what if you did, Kamran?" Michelle asked. "Or what if your daddy had a bad nightmare? What if I tried to wake him up and he accidentally hit me. Would you want him to go to jail?"

"No, of course not," Kamran was quick to answer.

"Then why is it different for Callen?" Sam asked.

"Because it really hurt, daddy," Kamran said, her eyes filling with tears. "And I was bleeding and he really scared me."

Sam gently took his daughter in his arms and held her. "I know it hurt, baby," he said softly. "And I know it scared you and I'm really sorry it happened. I wish I had told you that you should stay away from him if he was ever having a nightmare, but I just didn't think to do that."

"It's not your fault," Kamran said, drawing away from her father and gazing up at him.

"It's not his fault either," Sam said. "He wasn't awake. He didn't know what he was doing."

"Kamran, can you honestly say that you're afraid of Uncle Callen?" Michelle asked, watching her daughter's reaction carefully. "That you think he wants to hurt you?"

Kamran hesitated before answering. "I don't know," she finally said.

"What if we were to go visit him?" Sam asked. "All of us, your mom and I would be right with you. We'd make sure nothing happened and that you were safe. Would you be willing to do that?"

"I don't know," Kamran said again. "Maybe…I have to think about it."

"Okay," Sam said as he kissed the top of Kamran's head. It was actually better than he had hoped for. Maybe there was still a way to get out of at least part of this mess. "You do that, baby girl. You think about it."

xxxxx

"Come in," Callen said in response to the knock on his bedroom door. Deeks entered, holding a plate and a glass of orange juice.

"Hey, I thought you might be hungry. I made omelets," Deeks said passing the plate off to Callen and then the juice.

"You don't need to bring me food, Deeks," Callen said. "I can eat with you and Kensi."

"I wasn't sure if you would want to," Deeks said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Besides…I thought maybe we could talk, just us guys."

Callen quickly took a bite of the omelet and ate it, followed by some juice. "This is delicious," he said. "Did you make it?"

Deeks nodded, recognizing Callen's clumsy attempt to change the subject. "I really think talking could help…."

Callen sighed and focused on Deeks as he chewed then swallowed another mouthful of the omelet. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked guardedly before taking another forkful of food. It was really good, but he had a feeling breakfast was about to be ruined.

Deeks shrugged. "I don't know. It seems like you'd have a lot to talk about though. I mean, a lot of shit has happened to you."

"What about you? You were in the plane crash too," Callen said. "You could have been killed in the crash and then again in the hospital when they grabbed me. Maybe you've got something to say."

"I'm not the one having nightmares," Deeks said solemnly.

Callen swallowed the food in his mouth, put down the fork and sighed deeply as he gazed at Deeks. "Yeah, I'm having nightmares. I admit it. What do you want? A play-by-play of what happens in them? Okay, fine. They mostly take place in the mine. It's always pitch black and there are bugs crawling all over me, or Kamran is in there telling me how evil I am for what I did to her, or Page is taunting me or beating me. Stuff like that. There. I talked to you. Happy?"

"Wow…" Deeks looked back at Callen, surprised by what he had said.

"Yeah," Callen said, taking a sip of juice before he put the glass down on the nightstand.

"I guess you've got a lot on your mind…"

Callen shrugged.

"You need to talk to someone, man…" Deeks said. "I did. I mean, I didn't want to admit I needed help either after the whole Sidorov thing, but I wasn't eating properly…I wasn't sleeping…I was pretty messed up. Stuff was just running through my head constantly. Nate helped me to sort through my feelings and get through it…"

Callen slowly shook his head. "Nate? I can't talk to Nate…" Nate had waterboarded him and thrown around his confidential information frivolously, as if it meant nothing at all. How could he even think about trusting him?

"I'm not saying it has to be Nate. I'm sure there are lots of people…"

"I'm not talking to strangers either," Callen cut Deeks off. "Not about this stuff…I just can't do it. I won't." That would be even worse. To have to go through his whole life story with a new psychologist seemed like torture to him. At least Nate already knew his past emotional baggage.

"You can't just keep it inside, eating at you either," Deeks said. "It's not going to go away…it only gets worse."

Callen shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "You don't know that…" he said softly. "Eventually, it might get better. Memories fade and…"

"Come on, Callen… Who are you kidding? Do you really believe that? Have all your memories faded? Stuff from when you were a kid? Did you forget it all? I know I didn't. Some stuff, I can remember like it happened only yesterday. Maybe you were luckier than me though…I don't know…maybe you're different. Maybe you've forgotten about your childhood and the 37 foster homes. Is that it, Callen? Are you different?" Deeks prodded, hoping he wasn't pushing him too hard.

"No…no, I'm not different, Deeks," Callen said quietly, deep in thought as Deeks' words sunk in, and his own feelings rose to the surface. He was scared of the mine…a stupid, damn dark cave, an inanimate object. He didn't understand why, but there it was. No matter how hard he tried to force it out of his head, he couldn't, and he couldn't understand how something like that could be bothering him so much. It just didn't make sense. Being afraid of Page would make more sense to him, but that wasn't the problem. It was the thought of that mine that made his blood run cold and haunted his dreams. And then there was Kamran…but that was the other side of the coin. He was so fucked up in so many ways…

Deeks watched as Callen desperately battled to keep his emotions under control. "Feelings are tricky things…we've all got our demons. Everyone's different. Think about what I said…about talking to someone, okay? I know you don't think it will help, but it can't hurt and who knows, maybe it will be the best thing you ever did for yourself. At least consider it?"

"I'll think about it, Deeks," Callen said quietly. "No promises, but I'll see." He was beginning to accept that he had to do something. He felt like he was hanging on by a thread…a really thin thread, and if it snapped, he was going to be in for a very painful fall.


	47. Chapter 47

_Thanks very much for all your nice comments on the last chapter. It made me feel much better about things and I appreciate it more than you could possibly know :)_

xxxxx

Callen was sitting on the sofa in the living room, trying to keep his attention on some mindless action movie on t.v., when Deeks and Kensi entered the room. Both were casually dressed in jeans, shirts, denim jackets and sneakers. "Hey Callen," Deeks said. "We're going to go grab some lunch and maybe hang on the boardwalk at the beach for a while, breathe in some of that good sea air. You game?"

Callen pretended to consider their offer, but then shook his head. "No. I'm kind of tired. I think I'll just stay here. You guys have fun though."

"Oh come on, Callen," Kensi said. "We're not going to go far. I can't on these crutches anyway. The fresh air will be good for you."

"No, I'm good. I really want to see how this movie turns out," he said, the white lie easily rolling off his tongue.

Kensi and Deeks exchanged a long look. "Well, okay. Maybe tomorrow?" Deeks said. "We can have lunch here. You in the mood for anything in particular?"

"Wait, what?" Callen asked, his eyes widening at the realization of what was going on. "Uh, I don't need a babysitter. Seriously, you guys go. I'll be fine here." He was actually very much yearning to have some time to himself for a change.

"No…I'm kind of tired too," Kensi said as she lowered herself onto the sofa.

Callen rolled his eyes. "Really? I'm not allowed to be alone for a couple of hours without a keeper? This is getting ridiculous. Did Hetty put you up to this?"

"We haven't talked to Hetty, Callen," Deeks said.

"Well then, go. Please. Don't stay here on my account."

"That's probably not the best idea," Kensi said, her eyes apologetic.

Callen angrily grabbed the remote control and turned the television off. "I don't think my staying here is the best idea either," he said, getting up off the sofa. "I'm going to get out of here so that you two can do what you want."

"Whoa, wait, Callen. You can't leave," Deeks said, placing himself directly in Callen's path.

"Are you kidding me?" Callen gave Deeks an incredulous look. "Get out of my way. You can't stop me from leaving."

"I don't want to, Callen," Deeks said. "But I will if you force the issue. You know you can't be on your own just yet. Hetty will…well who knows what she'll do."

"You can't stop me, Deeks," Callen repeated, his eyes cold. "I'm not going to be your prisoner. I've had just about enough of that lately."

Deeks stared at Callen for a few long moments and then decided to back off, realizing how he would feel if he was in his shoes. "Fine…you win." He glanced over at Kensi. "Come on, Kens. Let's go get some lunch."

"Really?" Kensi asked, looking at Deeks a little uncertainly. Deeks nodded and she grabbed her crutches.

"We'll probably be gone for a couple of hours," Deeks said to Callen. "Are you going to be here when we get back?"

Callen nodded. "Yes, I'll be here, Deeks…I promise," he said. "You two have fun…and thanks…"

"Bye, Callen. There's plenty of stuff to eat in the fridge," Kensi said.

"Thanks," Callen said, as he sat back down. "See you later." He watched as Kensi and Deeks left and then breathed a sigh of relief as he relaxed against the back of the sofa, pleased to finally have a little bit of time to himself.

xxxxx

"Oh this is nice," Kensi said, taking a bite of her fish taco and smiling in delight at all the goings on around them. They were sitting at an outdoor table of a tiny establishment called Bongo's Beach Shack.

"It is," Deeks said, nodding in agreement. He gazed out at the water. "Maybe I'll try to get in some surfing next week."

"Do you think that's okay, with your shoulder?" Kensi asked. "You'd better ask the physical therapist first." Deeks had an appointment with PT on Monday and Kensi had an appointment with the orthopedic doctor as well.

"Yes, mom. I'll ask the physical therapist," Deeks said with a grin. He had a feeling his request would be denied and if that was the case, he'd have to wait until he was medically cleared. He didn't want to do anything to jeopardize his recovery.

"So…do you think it was a good idea to leave Callen alone?" Kensi asked, her eyes serious as she looked at Deeks.

Deeks chewed and swallowed a mouthful of food before answering. "I think we have to treat him like a man, not a two-year-old, Kens. If he runs, he runs. He's right. We can't keep him prisoner. When he said that, I just felt like a schmuck. He's gone through enough. I'm not going to add to his torment."

"But what about Hetty?"

"What about her?" Deeks said, shrugging. "For right now, she doesn't even know Callen is with us, unless Sam told her. "In any case, what's she going to do to us? We weren't told to be Callen's jailers. This is between him and her. I'm not getting in the middle of it."

Kensi nodded. "I guess you're right," she said, but she didn't look particularly happy about it.

"Come on, Kensi, let's just try to enjoy the day," Deeks said, taking her hand from across the table. "You've got fresh air, sunshine, fish tacos and the most charming lunch companion imaginable. I'll even spring for ice cream for dessert. What more could you ask for?"

"I don't think I could ask for anything more," Kensi said, smiling back at Deeks and allowing herself to relax. He was right, Callen didn't deserve to be hounded 24/7. That just wasn't fair to any of them.

xxxxx

After Kensi and Deeks left, Callen went into the kitchen and made himself a roast beef sandwich, then put some chips on the plate and took a can of soda. He brought his lunch out into the living room and settled back in front of the t.v. Just this simple act made him feel more normal and like himself than he had felt in ages. He had just finished eating his sandwich and was contentedly munching on chips when the doorbell rang. Immediately, his sense of peace and well-being disappeared. He sat there for a long moment, wishing whoever it was would go away, but then the doorbell rang again. He sighed as he got up from the sofa and went to the door. There, behind the glass window, was Sam. The two pairs of eyes locked and for a weird few seconds, Callen had a sense of déjà vu as he remembered when he had closed the glass door, shutting Sam out when he had been infected with the Spiral bioweapon. He quickly came back to reality though, realizing this was nothing like that. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before he put his hand on the doorknob and opened the door.

"Hey G." Sam looked his partner up and down, relieved to see that he looked well. "Can I come in?"

Callen nodded and silently moved aside so that Sam could enter. He opened his mouth to say something, but was at a loss for words so he didn't say anything. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he wondered what Sam wanted. He appeared calm, but Callen knew that could all be a carefully constructed façade. He doubted Sam would physically assault him, but he wasn't really sure. Maybe he was going to arrest him? That was another possibility.

"Can I sit down?" Sam asked.

Callen nodded and waited for Sam to sit on the sofa. He then sat down by his plate on the coffee table, leaving a bit of distance between the partners. He wanted to ask about Kamran but he couldn't get the words out. He was too anxious to hear the answer.

"Cat got your tongue?" Sam asked. He shoved his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a bottle of pills which he put on the coffee table next to Callen's plate of chips. "Your antibiotics. You were supposed to take the first dose this morning so you should probably take one now."

"Thanks." Callen opened the bottle, took out a pill and swallowed it with a sip of soda, then sighed as he stared at the coffee table. He couldn't remember ever having this level of discomfort before with Sam. It was awful.

Sam could no longer bear to watch his partner in such obvious misery. "She's going to be fine, G," he said softly.

Callen shot Sam a stricken look and then bowed his head, his shoulders slumped dejectedly. "You'll never know how sorry I am." He finally managed to get the words out, a hitch in his voice. "Whatever action you want to take…I won't fight it."

Sam gave Callen a bewildered look. "Action? What are you talking about?"

If you want to press charges or just punch the hell out of me, go for it.

Sam shook his head. "I'm not going to hit you, G. What happened wasn't your fault…it was an accident."

"You didn't see her face….you didn't see the way she looked at me," Callen said, his voice getting progressively softer as he spoke. "I'll never forget that look in her eyes…"

Sam sighed, unsure of what to say, not wanting to make Callen feel any worse than he already did. "I've never lied to you and I won't start now. I'll admit that Kamran was upset," he began, "and it may take some time for things to be back the way they used to be between the two of you, but I do think she'll get over it."

Callen shook his head slowly, a lost look in his eyes. "I don't…and she shouldn't have to get over it…I had no right to do what I did to her…to…to be like them…"

"To be like who, G?" Sam asked, his attention focused intently on his partner.

Callen didn't answer him.

"To be like who?" Sam raised his voice and reached for Callen's shoulder which caused his partner to involuntarily flinch. It was barely even noticeable, but Sam backed off immediately. That was something Callen just didn't do, except possibly if he was playing a part undercover. He certainly had never done it in response to Sam for any real reason.

"G?"

"Never mind, Sam," Callen said, managing to pull himself together, at least on the outside. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine…you're anything but fine," Sam said. "Where's Kensi, anyway?" He had noticed Deeks' vehicle was missing when he got there, but he had assumed Deeks had gone out and Kensi was home with Callen.

"She's not here. She's with Deeks," Callen answered.

"They left you here alone?" Sam asked, his expression angry.

"Oh trust me, they didn't want to," said Callen, his own anger flaring. "Do you have any idea how much I hate this? I'm sick and tired of being treated like some helpless little kid who can't be left alone."

"Nobody is meaning to do that," Sam stated. "We're just worried about you."

"Yeah, right. What exactly do you all think I'm going to do if I'm left alone for five minutes?" Callen asked. "I can't even tell you how aggravating it is. You wouldn't like it either, Sam. Don't tell me that you would."

"Come on, G, it's not that bad."

"Really? And God forbid I don't do exactly what Hetty dictates I should do or she'll have me locked up in some hospital somewhere and I'll probably never be seen or heard from again."

"That's an exaggeration."

"Not about being put in a hospital. She said that. You heard it too. Don't tell me you didn't."

Sam sighed deeply. "Yeah, I heard it," he said. "But it's not going to happen. Don't worry about it."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one being threatened by her. You get to do what you want, come and go as you please."

"You've been sick, G...You were the target of a total whack job… It's not like there aren't reasons for us to worry about you. Not to mention, you did promise Hetty you'd go along with her conditions if you were able to leave the hospital in Seattle."

"I'm better now."

Sam wanted to say that although Callen might be physically improving, he sure as hell wasn't doing well psychologically. He didn't say that though, knowing if he did, it would just set his partner off further. "I still worry…I saw you go through a lot. You almost died, more than once. Sorry if that got to me and I just want you to be safe."

The raw emotion in Sam's eyes caused Callen to lose his train of thought and he just stared at his partner, who had been with him through everything, who had saved his life after the plane crash and who he had repaid by hurting his daughter. "I'm sorry, Sam," he said quietly, starting to feel calmer. "I just…I wish everyone would stop thinking I'm going down some self-destructive path…it's just not true…I get that Hetty doesn't want me to go back home right now, but I can be left alone for a while. What does everyone think is going to happen?"

Sam shrugged, not really having a good answer. "I don't know, G…like I said, people are just worried. When someone has gone through all the crap you have, well…it's just kind of hard to turn off that impulse to be overprotective. It's what families do."

"I get it, Sam…I do…I understand that you can't turn off that impulse, but maybe you could just turn it down a little bit?" Callen asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah…yeah I can do that for you," he said as he got up from the sofa. "And I guess I'll start now…I'll leave you alone."

"Thanks, Sam," Callen said. "Tell Kamran…" He shook his head, at a loss for words once again. Saying he was sorry just didn't seem good enough. It seemed a very trivial thing to say in lieu of what had happened.

"I'll tell her," Sam said. "I'll talk to her some more…try to see if I can get her to talk to you..."

"Don't force it, Sam," Callen said. "I really don't blame her if she doesn't want to…It's a hard thing to get past…" Even if it had been an accident, he had still struck her, resulting in her being hurt and afraid. He knew from his own life that episodes like that stayed with you…they weren't just forgotten overnight and he honestly didn't know if Kamran could ever get over what he had done. He wasn't sure if he would ever get over it either.


	48. Chapter 48

_First of all, apologies for not getting this out on the weekend. I was kind of stuck and basically just needed a weekend away from it. My thanks, once again, for all of your supportive comments. Also, this chapter might be a bit of a snooze lol. It will get better again :)_

xxxxx

"How is he doing?" Michelle asked Sam, her tone gentle. The couple was seated alone in their living room. Sam had just returned from visiting Callen.

"He…I don't know," Sam said, shaking his head. "He's pretty upset about Kamran and he's sick of people coddling him and being watched by everyone. I guess on some level I knew this was coming. Even though he's having some issues dealing with everything, he doesn't do well being eyeballed constantly. He's too independent for that."

Michelle nodded. "You really can't blame him for that, Sam."

"No…no, I can't, but… you didn't see him in Seattle. Some of his behavior was really bizarre. I can't really blame Hetty for not wanting to leave him totally unsupervised."

"Hi daddy," Kamran came down the stairs into the living room. "I was looking for you earlier, but you weren't here. Where did you go?" she asked, looking at him curiously.

Sam shot a quick look at Michelle who just shrugged slightly. "I went to see Callen," Sam said after a small hesitation. "He left his medicine here. I needed to give it to him."

"Oh…" Kamran said, appearing to consider that tidbit of information. "Was he sorry?" she finally asked, staring at Sam with a look he found difficult to decipher.

Sam nodded. "Yes…yes he's very upset about what happened, that he hurt you…even though it wasn't at all deliberate."

Kamran didn't say anything. She looked down at the floor, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"I think that you know he would never hurt you on purpose," Michelle said softly. "He's known you since you were a very little girl. He's never hurt you before, has he?"

"No…no he hasn't," Kamran admitted, but didn't elaborate further on that. "Can I go outside?" she asked, after a long silence.

"Don't you want to go over to Bridget's house?" Michelle asked. "I can drive you over there."

Kamran quickly shook her head. "I don't want her to see me like this."

"It doesn't look bad." Sam was quick to try to reassure his daughter. "I can hardly notice it at all."

"I don't care," Kamran said. "I can notice it. And I'm not going to school on Monday either if it isn't better."

"You don't dictate the rules, Kamran," Michelle stated firmly. "I'm pretty sure you'll be going to school on Monday."

Kamran pouted sulkily but didn't defy her mother. "So can I go outside?" she asked again.

"Go ahead," Sam said.

"Thank you," Kamran said, bolting from the living room and out the front door before they could say anything else to her.

xxxxx

Kamran went outside to the driveway with her basketball and aimlessly dribbled it while periodically taking some shots at the hoop. She was bored playing by herself though and soon abandoned that activity. She went and sat on the front porch steps and her mind drifted to Callen and what had happened with him. She couldn't help but think that if he was still there, he would likely be happy to play a game with her or just talk to her. He had hurt her and scared her, but the more she thought about it, the clearer it was becoming that he had not meant to do so. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she never even noticed Hetty until the tiny woman was standing right in front of her. "Oh, hello Hetty," she said, starting slightly to see her suddenly there, almost like she had popped up out of nowhere.

"Hello, Kamran," Hetty said. "I'm sorry if I startled you."

"You didn't."

"Hmm…" Hetty observantly noted the bruising and slight swelling over Kamran's nose, but decided not to mention it to the girl. "Are your parents inside?" she asked.

Kamran nodded. "I'll bring you in." She got up from the top of the stairs where she was sitting and led Hetty to the front door and opened it. "Mom, dad," she called out. "Hetty is here."

Sam quickly entered the living room from the kitchen. "Oh hey, Hetty," he said. "I didn't expect to see you here today." Inwardly he wondered if she was going to be coming there every day, but quickly discarded the thought, realizing that she was likely there to see Callen and not him. "What can I do for you?" he asked. He noted that Kamran was standing there, her attention focused on the two adults. "Kam, you can go back outside if you'd like."

"I'm bored outside," Kamran said, a slight whine in her voice.

"Well then go up to your room so that we can talk."

"Fine," Kamran said with a heavy sigh as she trudged towards the staircase.

"Why don't you have a seat," Sam said to Hetty, gesturing towards the sofa. "Can I get you anything? Some tea?"

"No thank you, Sam," Hetty said as she made herself comfortable on the sofa. "So…I couldn't help notice some bruising over Kamran's nose. What happened to her?"

Sam sighed, wishing for once that Hetty didn't notice everything. "It was just an accident. She got accidentally hit."

"Hmm…I see," Hetty said, nodding thoughtfully. "And how is Mr. Callen today?" she stared pointedly at the staircase. "Is he napping?"

Sam hesitated, his mind going in all different directions but finally decided on the truth. Lying wasn't going to work with Hetty, at least not for long. "He's not here."

"Hmm…" Hetty said again. "And wherever could he be? I wouldn't think you'd be letting him run amuck out there."

Sam shook his head. "Hetty…that's part of the problem. It's not up to me to let him do anything. I'm his partner, not his jailer. He can make his own decisions. It's one of the things that's getting under his skin. He's tired of the constant babysitting and honestly, I think he has a point. He's doing better. We don't have to guard him 24 hours a day."

"What happened to Kamran, Sam?" Hetty asked him, her tone and expression serious as she waited for an answer.

Sam sighed, wondering why Hetty always had to know every tiny detail about everything. "G was having a nightmare…Kam heard him and when she tried to help him, he accidentally hit her."

"Ah…I take it Mr. Callen did not take that very well."

"No… no he didn't," Sam admitted, shaking his head. "He took off…"

Hetty looked alarmed upon hearing that news. "He's gone?" she asked anxiously. "You don't know where he is?"

"I do know where he is. Don't worry. He's fine."

Hetty waited expectantly for more and when Sam did not oblige she prodded him. "Please, Mr. Hanna. This is not a game. I will find out whether or not you choose to tell me."

"Hetty…G thinks you're going to throw him into a mental hospital. Having your threats hanging over his head isn't very beneficial to his recovery."

"Mr. Hanna…I am waiting."

"Can't you just take my word that he's safe and doing okay?"

"You're trying my patience," Hetty said, a note of irritation in her tone. "Is he at his home?"

Sam shook his head, beginning to understand why his partner was so upset about his lack of privacy. "He's with Kensi and Deeks," he finally said reluctantly.

"There, was that really so difficult?" Hetty asked him.

"Yes, if you're going over there to threaten him. You should leave him alone, Hetty. He's gone through enough without you getting him upset all over again."

"I must say, you make me out to be quite an ogre," Hetty stated. "If it makes you happy, I will forego my visit to Mr. Callen. I will however call to speak with Mr. Deeks or Ms. Blye to inquire about his condition, unless that is against your rules as well?"

"No…of course not," Sam said sheepishly. "And of course you're not an ogre…it's just, he was pretty upset earlier thinking about getting sent to a mental hospital."

"Well, you can rest assured that I have no present plans to do such a thing," Hetty informed Sam. "But for now, I must be going. There's something I must take care of."

"Okay…thanks for being so understanding," Sam said with a smile. "And I'm sorry for being, well a little bit secretive. It's just…he's my partner."

"Oh I understand, Sam. No worries," Hetty said, smiling up at him. "Enjoy the rest of your day and give my regards to Michelle."

"I will, Hetty. Thanks."

xxxxx

After Sam left, Callen finished the rest of his lunch and tried to focus on the television, but found that he quickly grew bored. His gaze traveled to the view outside the window. It really was a nice day. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to get some fresh air. His discharge instructions from the hospital had specified exercise as tolerated and he could certainly tolerate a walk. He headed out the door and started walking down the street. Wondering just how badly out of shape he was, he then decided to try a slow jog. Encouraged by the minimal amount of pain he felt, he broke into a faster run and seemed okay until his breathing quickened. At that point, pain shot through both sides and he had to stop. "Dammit," he said as he tried to slow his breathing. That really hurt. He stood still until he had his breathing under control again and then turned around and began to walk, slowly and painstakingly, back to Kensi and Deeks' home.

xxxxx

"Hey Callen, we're home!" Deeks called out. "We got you some ice cream. Come and get it before Monty does." He shrugged when there was no response. "Guess I'll stick it in the freezer. Maybe he's asleep." He went into the kitchen and put the ice cream into the freezer then returned to the living room where Kensi was sitting on the sofa.

"Maybe you should check on him," Kensi said softly, looking up at Deeks.

"I'm sure he's fine," Deeks said. "I don't want to wake him if he's asleep."

"Just crack the door open and look inside."

"Why?"

Kensi sighed. "Because…I don't think he's sleeping."

Deeks looked at her in confusion. "Well, so what. Maybe he's reading or something. He said he wanted some time to himself. What's the big deal?"

"Deeks, do I have to spell it out? I don't think Callen's there. I think he's gone."

"Oh…" Deeks said, looking back at Kensi. "I don't think he'd do that, Kens…he said he wouldn't…he promised."

"He practically lies for a living, Deeks. Is it that difficult for you to believe?"

"Well…if he left, he left. I'm not going to chase him down again."

"Can you please just check, or I can do it."

"I'll do it." Deeks headed to Callen's room, returning a few moments later. "You're right," he admitted grudgingly. "He's gone."

"I didn't want to be right," Kensi said softly. At that moment, the sound of the front door opening caused them both to turn to see Callen reentering the house.

"Hey," Callen said, looking at them, puzzled. "What's up?"

"Uh nothing…" Deeks replied. "What happened to you? You look like you were run through the wringer."

"I went for a walk," Callen said.

"You look like you were running," Kensi said observantly.

"Were you?" Deeks asked.

Callen shrugged. "Maybe." He slowly eased himself down on the sofa, trying to keep any evidence of pain from his face.

Deeks shook his head. "Not really smart, man. You're going to be sore tomorrow."

"I'm already sore today," Callen said, smirking. "And you're right…it wasn't smart. I thought I could handle it…I thought wrong."

"Do you have pain killers?" Kensi asked, looking at him with concern. "Maybe you should take one?"

Callen quickly shook his head. "No…I'm good." He didn't bother to mention that Sam hadn't brought them. He'd only brought the antibiotics. Not that it mattered. He wouldn't have taken one anyway.

"How about ibuprofen?" Deeks suggested.

Callen considered that for a few moments and then nodded. "Yeah okay, that'd be good. Thanks."

"Be right back," said Deeks. He returned a few minutes later with a bottle of ibuprofen, a bottled water and a bag which he handed to Callen. "We got you some ice cream."

"Thanks." Callen took a couple tablets and swallowed down some water and then opened the bag and pulled out the ice cream container and took off the plastic cover. "Looks good."

"We couldn't decide what to get you, so we got one scoop of chocolate, vanilla and cookies and cream," said Kensi.

"Perfect," Callen said, digging into the ice cream with the plastic spoon. "So did you two have a good time?"

"We did," Kensi said, smiling happily. "It was a beautiful down on the beach. You need to come with us next time."

"Maybe I will," Callen said agreeably, taking another spoonful of the ice cream and letting it slowly melt in his mouth. "This is good ice cream."

"So, what did you do while we were gone?" Deeks asked. "You weren't walking and running around the whole time, were you?"

"No." Callen shook his head. "I had some lunch, and… Sam stopped by."

"Oh?" Kensi asked as she and Deeks exchanged a surprised glance. "How was that?"

"It…it was fine," Callen said. "He didn't punch me out anyway."

"He would never have done that," Kensi said, squeezing his arm supportively.

"Well…Kamran is still upset, which I expected. I don't know…I'm not really sure how that's going to be resolved…if it even can be…"

"It hasn't been very long at all," Deeks said. "Give it some time. I'm sure she'll come around."

Callen nodded, absently eating some more of the ice cream. He wished he could be as sure of that as Deeks seemed to be.

xxxxx

 _Today I thought lots about what happened to me. I've loved Uncle Callen since I was really little. I can't even remember when he wasn't a part of our family. He never, ever hurt me before and I know he didn't mean to hurt me last night. I bet he feels really bad about what happened. I know I do. I would have never wanted him to go to jail with lots of bad men or for daddy to beat him up. I was just really upset when I said those mean things. I miss him and I don't want him to feel bad. I'm going to ask daddy to bring me to see him tomorrow. Even though I'm a little nervous, I think it's the right thing to do._

Kamran put away her journal and turned off her light to try to get some sleep. Tomorrow would be a big day.


	49. Chapter 49

_Sorry for the short chapter, but it was a big weekend with the Super Bowl here in New England :)_ _As always, thanks to all of you who read and review. :)_

xxxxx

Callen was getting ready for bed when a knock sounded on his bedroom door. "Come in," he called out and Deeks entered the room a moment later.

"I thought maybe you could use this," Deeks said, placing a cooling pad on the bed. "Might help with the inflammation."

"Thanks," Callen said gratefully. His right side was very sore. His left side was sore also, but his right side was definitely worse. "It really wasn't my brightest move to decide to try running today."

"Hey, I get it," Deeks said. "I want to go surfing in the worst way. Kensi reminded me that the physical therapist might not agree with me on that."

"She's probably right," Callen said. "Trust me, don't push it before you're ready. I learned that the hard way."

"Sometimes it's hard to hold back though."

"True." Callen sat down on the bed and picked up the cooling pad. "Thanks for this…thanks for everything. I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here."

"No big deal, man," Deeks said. "Feel free to stay as long as you'd like."

"Or as long as Hetty deems necessary," Callen said with a sigh.

"We're not going to police you," Deeks said, wanting to reassure the other man.

"I know," Callen said, offering a faint smile. "That means a lot."

"Just think of it as a well-earned vacation…Anyhow, I'll let you get some sleep," Deeks said. "Holler if you need anything. Good night, Callen."

"Good night, Deeks," Callen said, watching as Deeks left the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He then laid down and put the cooling pad on his ailing side, sighing in relief when he felt the coolness begin to penetrate and soothe away some of the pain. He then reached for the lamp on the nightstand, and turned it off. His anxiety quickly got the better of him though. He could feel his heart begin to pound and he turned the light back on again. He couldn't believe he was still so bothered by the dark. He couldn't even begin to rationalize it. It was very disconcerting to say the least. After tossing and turning for quite some time, he finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

xxxxx

"So, what should we do today?" Michelle asked, smiling at Sam who had insisted on taking over the cooking of the family's Sunday morning breakfast. He was standing behind the electric griddle, expertly maneuvering bacon and eggs.

"I don't know," he answered with a shrug. "Is there anything in particular you'd like to do?"

"I know what I'd like to do," Kamran's voice came unexpectedly as both parents turned to glance at their daughter who had just entered the kitchen.

"Good morning," Sam said to Kam who was already dressed, an unusual occurrence for a Sunday morning. "Surprised to see you dressed so early."

"Your face looks good," Michelle said as she gave her daughter a once over. There was hardly any trace of an injury unless one was to really look for it.

Kamran nodded with a satisfied smile. "I know. It's getting much better."

"So, what is it you'd like to do, Kam?" Sam asked.

Kamran took a deep breath then looked at them determinedly. "I'd like to go see Uncle Callen."

"You would?" Michelle asked, exchanging a surprised look with her husband. "Really?"

"Why?" asked Sam, warily.

"Don't you want me to see him, daddy?" Kamran asked, her expression confused as she looked at her father. "I thought you wanted me to…"

"I do…it's just…are you sure you want to do this?" Sam had a bit of a queasy feeling in his stomach. Callen had appeared to be consumed by abject misery the previous day. He didn't want to make things worse. He wasn't really sure how much more his partner could take.

Kamran nodded. "Yes, I'm sure."

"You're not just doing it because you think it's what I want, are you?" Sam prodded.

"No." Kam shook her head insistently. "I want to do this for myself."

"Okay…well let's have breakfast and then I'll give G a call to let him know we're coming," Sam said.

Kamran took her seat at the table as Michelle took Sam's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "This is a good thing, Sam," she whispered to him. "Everything's going to be fine."

xxxxx

Callen had not slept well. Plagued by nightmares that woke him numerous times, but which he could not remember, he found himself tired and irritable as he tried to fight off a nagging headache. His ribs were sore and the news that Kamran wanted to see him only caused his nerves to be even more on edge. Lacking any appetite, he had picked at the breakfast Deeks had made and was now pacing about restlessly as he waited for the Hanna family to arrive. Every so often, he would peer out the front window to see if they were there yet.

"Callen, why don't you sit down and try to relax?" Kensi asked, her eyes following him as he walked about restlessly. Watching him pace was making her nervous.

"Kens…why don't we get out of here for a while? Maybe go to a matinee?" Deeks suggested.

Callen looked at the two of them, realizing what they were doing. "No. It's fine. I'm fine." He sat down on a chair and forced himself to be still. He certainly didn't want to chase them out of their own home.

"No man, seriously, I think we should go." Deeks placed his hand on Callen's shoulder in an attempt to ease his obvious jitters. "I don't really think you need us hanging around here gawking while you try to handle things with Kamran. I'd say the less people here, the better."

"Deeks is right, Callen." Kensi reached for her crutches and stood up, balancing herself. "We'll be back a little later."

"I just…this isn't right, me chasing you guys out of your own place."

Deeks shook his head. "Trust me, you're not."

Callen sighed heavily, still appearing upset. "I should have just gone there…I'm sorry. I just wasn't really thinking when Sam called."

"Callen, it's okay. We wanted to get out today anyway," Kensi said, trying to calm him. "Really, it's fine. Please don't worry about it…"

"Good luck." Deeks said, patting Callen's shoulder encouragingly. "Try not to worry. I have a good feeling about this."

"It'll be okay," Kensi said. "I'm sure Sam's not bringing Kamran here to berate you."

"Yeah, you're right." Callen forced a smile and watched as the two headed for the front door. "Have fun."

"Don't worry," Deeks called out as he closed the door.

"Yeah sure," Callen whispered to himself. He sighed and leaned his head against the back of the chair as he massaged his temples with his fingers. After another seemingly endless 10 minutes or so, the doorbell rang. Callen took a deep breath then stood up and headed to the front door, fighting his nerves all the way. Sam was standing in front of the door with Michelle and Kamran alongside him.

"Good morning, G," Sam said, offering an encouraging smile to his partner.

"Hey Sam." Callen smiled back feebly. "Come on in." He stood aside and watched as Sam ushered his wife and daughter through the front entranceway.

"Hi Michelle…Kamran…" He was barely able to keep his voice steady when he uttered the name of the youngest member of the Hanna family.

"Hello, Callen." Michelle's heart immediately went out to him as she drew him in for a hug. He just looked so vulnerable. "Everything's going to be alright," she whispered into his ear.

They stood awkwardly in the living room until Callen spoke. "Would you like to sit down?" he asked quietly.

Michelle took a seat on the sofa and Sam then sat beside her. Kamran remained standing and looked up at Callen. He took a step towards her, wondering if she would shy away from him, but she remained still. He saw the slight bruising over her nose and felt his heartbeat speeding up, but suddenly it was no longer Kamran he was seeing, but some of the many children who had been a part of his life in foster care. There bad been Jennifer Donovan, who had suffered a fractured jaw; Melissa Anderson, with her black eye and badly swollen cheek; Lisa McDonald, a broken arm and leg; Brian Olson, a skull fracture; and Scotty Wilson; who had been beaten into a coma and had never recovered…just a few of the names and faces that would always be a part of him.

"Uncle Callen?" Kamran's voice finally broke through his reverie. He looked down at her, suddenly aware that his eyes were brimming over and tears were trickling down his cheeks.

"Kamran…" Callen shook his head, feeling utterly overwhelmed by the moment. "I'm so sorry…I never meant to hurt you…"

"I'm okay now," she said softly. "I know you didn't mean it. I...I was upset at first, but I know now that you would never hurt me on purpose."

"I wouldn't, but I'm still so sorry that it happened…"

"It's okay…I forgive you…" Kamran tentatively took a step closer to him then opened up her arms. Callen, just as tentatively, reached for her and hugged her very gently.

"It's okay," Kamran repeated. She rested the side of her face against his torso and tightened her grip on him. "I love you, Uncle Callen."

"I love you too," he said, kissing the top of her head.

Watching his partner and daughter, two of the most important people in his life, put this latest emotional crisis behind them, did Sam's heart good. He smiled at his wife, who was clutching his hand tightly and sighed, hopeful that things were finally going to begin an uphill course.


	50. Chapter 50

_As always, I really appreciate all your support_ :) Thanks so much, everyone.

xxxxx

"You okay, G?" Sam asked. He put his arm around his partner's shoulder and guided him off to the side of the room where they could speak quietly for a moment.

Callen nodded. "Yeah…I'm good."

Callen studied the other man closely. "You look tired," he said observantly. "Aren't you sleeping?"

Callen shrugged. "I'm sleeping alright."

"Nightmares?"

"I just have a headache. It's not a big deal."

Sam wondered if he had spoken with a professional yet, but doubted it as it was the weekend. In any case, he thought it was maybe good for G to have a little break from the constant attention from medical personnel. He knew his partner was tired of all the fuss. "So…what do you say to coming back to our place?"

Callen sighed as he considered his partner's request. "I don't know, Sam," he finally said. "I think I'm just going to stay here."

Sam looked at Callen in surprise. "Really?" he asked.

Callen nodded. "Yeah…it seems kind of silly to just keep moving back and forth. I'm settled now so I'm good with staying here. Anyhow, hopefully, it won't be too long before Hetty loosens the reins and lets me go home."

"Oh…" Sam said, appearing a little bit disappointed at Callen's decision.

"Come on, Sam," Callen said. "I'm sure you can use some alone time with your family without having me intruding."

Sam shook his head. "You wouldn't be intruding. You should know by now that we've never been anything but glad to have you stay with us, G."

"I do know that," Callen said with a nod. "And I appreciate it more than you know, but it doesn't mean that some family time without me hanging around, wouldn't be a good thing."

"Well, it's your decision," Sam said quietly. "The offer's always there if you change your mind."

"I know it is," Callen said, "And I'm very grateful for that."

xxxxx

"So, I wonder what's going on…what do you think is happening?" Kensi asked softly as she put her hand into the bucket of popcorn on Deeks' lap and took a small portion which she put into her mouth. The two were seated comfortably in reclining leather chairs and there were only a handful of other people in the theater.

"Don't you want to at least wait until the coming attractions begin?" Deeks asked in amusement. "You won't have any left to eat during the movie."

"Didn't you see the sign? Free refills," Kensi said with a teasing smile.

"Free refills that I'm going to have to get," Deeks said, "probably during an extremely exciting moment in the movie. But back to your question, you mean what do I think is going on with Callen and Kamran?"

"Yes…do you think everything's going alright between them?"

Deke considered his answer before he began to speak slowly. "I think everything will be okay. Kids are resilient. I think Kam will realize what happened was an accident and she'll let him off the hook. She's not a baby. She's a bright girl. She should be able to realize it wasn't his fault."

"I hope so," Kensi said, sighing softly. "Callen doesn't need any more stuff to deal with. He's been through enough."

"He'll be okay," Deeks clasped Kensi's hand in his and squeezed it gently.

Kensi nodded as she rested her head against the back of her chair, and turned her attention to the big screen, as the first of the coming attractions began to play.

xxxxx

"Kam, honey, It's time for us to head home," Michelle said to her daughter who was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the television. She thought that Callen appeared tired and he probably needed to get some rest.

Kamran picked up the remote control and turned off the television then got to her feet. "Do you want to play _Unwanted Tales_ when we get home?" she asked Callen, turning to him with a smile. "I haven't played anymore so it's still in the same place where we left off."

"Uh…"

"Kamran, Uncle Callen isn't coming home with us," Sam began. "He's going to stay here with Deeks and Kensi."

"What?" Kamran's smile immediately vanished as her eyes went from her father then back to Callen. "But…I don't understand. Everything's alright now. Why don't you want to come to our house?"

"I just…" Callen tried to come up with an answer that would satisfy her, but his mind was totally blank.

"He doesn't have to give you a reason, Kamran," Michelle said, trying to get Callen off the hook. "He can stay wherever he likes."

"You like it here better than being with us?" Kamran asked. "Is this because I thought bad things about you after what happened? I didn't mean them. I'm really sorry."

"No, it's not that, Kam," Callen said, attempting to reassure her.

"Then why? Isn't my dad your best friend? Why don't you want to stay with us?"

"Your dad has been away for a long time, Kam, and it was mostly because of me. You deserve to have family time with just him and your mom. It's best that way."

"I don't think that's best," Kam insisted stubbornly. She turned to her parents. "You want him to come home with us, don't you?"

Listening to the way Kamran was speaking, Callen couldn't help but feel like he was a puppy or kitten that she wanted to adopt.

"Of course we'd like him to come, but he has the right to stay wherever he'd like," Sam said firmly. "He's settled in here, Kam. It's not your place to be telling him what to do. Now come on, we're going home."

"It's not fair," Kamran said, tears welling in her eyes. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't gone in his room, none of this ever would have happened and he never would have left our house and come here."

"That will be quite enough out of you, young lady," Michelle said. As far as she was concerned, Kamran was much too old to be acting this way. "We are leaving, NOW."

Callen found that he was more than a little bit affected by the sight of Kamran's tears. "Maybe…" he began.

Sam shook his head. "No, G. We're not giving in to her on this. You made it clear this is where you want to be for now. She's not a baby. She isn't going to cry to get her way."

Kamran, listening to every word her father was saying, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand though she was still pouting.

"Bye Callen," Michelle smiled at him and gave him a hug. "Please don't feel bad," she whispered to him. "Trust me, she's perfectly fine."

"You take care of yourself, partner," Sam said, hugging Callen as well. "If you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call, okay?"

"Thanks, Sam."

"Goodbye, Uncle Callen," Kamran said, giving him a woebegone look. "I feel very bad that what happened made you come here instead of staying with us where you belong where I could have played games with you and even baked you cookies."

Callen couldn't help but feel guilty. "Maybe…"

"No!" Sam and Michelle said in unison.

"Bye," Kamran said, hugging him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Kam," Callen said, returning her embrace. "I'll come and see you in a day or two, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay…thank you. That would be very nice."

"See you later, G," Sam said as he ushered his wife and daughter out the door before Kamran could protest anymore.

"Bye." Callen watched as they made their way to Michelle's vehicle and then he closed the door and seated himself on the living room sofa with a sigh. He really hadn't expected that to turn into such a ruckus. At least things were better with him and Kamran now. He felt a little guilty that he hadn't gone back to Sam's, but in all honesty, he felt more like himself being here with Kensi and Deeks. He knew the Hanna family only wanted the best for him, but they tended to go overboard with trying to take care of him and being here he felt more independent. He also thought that Sam could use a break although he knew his partner would never admit it. They'd been practically attached at the hip since the plane crash and Callen hadn't been lying when he said Sam and his family deserved some time together without him hanging around.

Callen still had a headache so he got a pillow and blanket from his room and stretched out on the sofa. Now that the stress over seeing Kamran had been relieved, he was finally able to relax and he fell asleep very quickly. Unfortunately, the ringing of the doorbell woke him after only about 20 minutes of sleep. "Dammit," he muttered as he tossed the blanket aside and got up from the couch. Was it really too much to ask to get a little bit of peace and quiet? He went to the front door and stopped short when he saw who was standing out on the front porch. "Dammit, Hetty," he said to himself. "Why can't you just keep out of things?"

He put his hand on the doorknob and opened the door then crossed his arms over his chest, his blue eyes, steely and cold, as he stared at the unwelcome visitor. "What do you want, Nate?" he asked.


	51. Chapter 51

_As always, I really appreciate all of you who are still reading and reviewing this story. I'm in the Northeast getting pelted with yet another bad snowstorm. I'm envious of any of you who live where you have warm weather year round :)_

xxxxx

"Wow…I can't say that was much of a greeting," Nate said, smiling amiably. "It's good to see you too, Callen."

"Oh, sorry, but I'm not really up to turning cartwheels, Nate," Callen replied sarcastically. "What are you doing here?"

"Hetty asked if I would come and see you," Nate said calmly. "Can I come in?"

"Actually, no. I'd rather you didn't," Callen said. "I was sleeping before you came by unannounced. I'd appreciate it if you left."

"Come on, Callen. I don't think Hetty will be too happy about this."

"You know what, Nate? I really don't care," Callen said with a humorless smirk.

"Just a few minutes of your time is all I'm asking for. Can't you please just give me a chance? I'd like to try to work things out."

Callen didn't budge. He just stood, blocking the doorway, staring back at Nate coldly.

"Okay, fine…I am going to tell Hetty about this, you know. It's not helping you to keep things buried inside. If you don't talk to me, you're going to have to talk to someone else. Your choice."

Callen said nothing. He just watched as Nate finally turned around and headed down the walkway to where his car was parked by the curb. He didn't take his eyes off the other man until he had gotten into his car and drove away. Then he walked back inside and stretched out on the sofa once again. This time, however, he found sleep to be elusive and he laid there wide awake, unable to escape the many thoughts that were bouncing around inside his head.

xxxxx

"I wasn't too happy with your behavior back there, Kamran," Michelle said to her daughter who was sitting in the back seat. "You know better than that."

"He was going to change his mind if it hadn't been for you and daddy," Kamran retorted.

"You were just being manipulative," Sam said quietly. "You knew Uncle Callen would feel bad if you turned on the tears."

"He's better off staying with us," Kamran insisted. "We can take care of him better than Kensi and Deeks. They just left him alone to go off to the movies. We wouldn't do that."

Sam thought about what she said and chuckled softly. "No. You're right, we wouldn't."

"What is it, Sam?" Michelle asked, glancing at her husband.

"That's why he decided to stay where he was. They're not overdoing it with the TLC."

Michelle smiled. "You're probably right."

"Well, whatever gets him better fastest is good with me," Sam said. If a little bit of freedom was what it took, that was fine. He had to admit that he did tend to overdo it with taking care of Callen, especially recently, but he justified it by saying it was just because his partner had just gone through so much. It was hard not to be overly protective after all that had happened.

"Maybe we can invite the three of them for dinner tomorrow, Callen, Deeks and Kensi," Michelle suggested.

Sam nodded. "That's a good idea."

"That's a very good idea," Kamran piped up from the back.

xxxxx

"Hey Callen," Kensi greeted him as she crutched into the living room ahead of Deeks. He was sitting on the sofa, with a bunched up blanket beside him, not looking particularly happy. "Did things not go well with Kamran?" She put her crutches to the side and sat down on the sofa next to the team leader, looking at him curiously.

"Huh?" Callen shook his head. "No… I mean, yeah, things went okay with her. "

"Something's wrong though," Deeks said, plopping down in a chair and eying the other man observantly.

"Nate came by," Callen stated.

"Nate? Really?" Deeks asked. "How'd he even know you were here?"

"The same way everyone always finds out stuff. The same way he knew my name and other things he shouldn't have known," Callen stated.

"Hetty?" Kensi asked softly.

"Who else?" Callen asked.

"So…what did he say?" Deeks asked.

"Not much," Callen said with a smirk. "I kicked him out."

"Really?" Deeks asked as he and Kensi exchanged a look. "That probably didn't go over well."

"Yeah well, I don't particularly care," Callen said. "He shows up here on a Sunday afternoon with no notice, knowing damn well that I wouldn't be happy about it. God forbid Hetty make a phone call to try to explain whatever the hell she's thinking. No, she just sends him here without telling me and thinks I'm going to pour out all my deepest, darkest secrets to him. Well, it's not happening."

Unsure of what to say, both Deeks and Kensi remained silent. A few moments later, Callen glanced at them, realizing he wasn't exactly being a good houseguest. "So…did you two have a good time at the movies?"

Kensi nodded. "I did. The movie might have been a little too gory for Deeks," she said with a giggle.

"That wasn't my issue with it," Deeks defended himself. "The acting was horrendous. Most of the criminals we've arrested could have done a better job."

"I think I'm going to go upstairs and rest for a while," Callen said, hoping he could kill two birds with one stone, get rid of the headache that was still persisting and give the couple some time to themselves.

"Okay…take it easy, Callen," Deeks said, he then turned to Kensi after Callen had left the room. "Hetty is going to be pissed."

"Callen's right though, she could have at least given him a heads up. She had to know he wouldn't be happy to be blindsided like that."

"And now, nobody's happy," Deeks said with a sigh, wondering what would happen next. He didn't have long to wait. About an hour later, as he and Kensi sat cuddled together, contentedly watching television, the doorbell rang. "Care to make a wager?" he asked as he got to his feet.

"No bet," Kensi said, watching him as he walked to the door.

Deeks opened the front door and stood aside so Hetty could come inside. "Hello, Mr. Deeks," she said as she entered the foyer. "How are you this fine Sunday afternoon?"

"We're fine, Hetty." He shook his head behind her back as she entered the living room.

"Hello, Ms. Blye," Hetty said, smiling at the other woman. "Sorry to barge in without notice."

"Really?" Deeks asked, looking at her incredulously. "If you were really sorry, Hetty, you wouldn't have done it."

"Problem, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked, turning to face him.

"I just…" he shook his head. "Never mind. What can we do for you?"

"I've come to see Mr. Callen," Hetty said, "Unless he has once more hit the road in search of a new location. Perhaps he's staying with Mr. Beale this time?"

"He's here," Kensi answered softly. "He's resting though. You probably shouldn't disturb him."

"Your attempt to protect him is admirable, however misguided," Hetty said. "I doubt he either needs or wants your protection." She headed determinedly in the direction of the stairs.

"Come on, Hetty," Deeks said. "Can't you just wait down here until he wakes up? I'll make you some tea. He sleeps little enough. Give the guy a break."

Hetty ignored Deeks and continued on towards Callen's room.

"This is just swell," Deeks said, shaking his head

xxxxx

Hetty quietly opened the door to Callen's room and peered inside. When she saw Callen, burrowed in a nest of blankets and seemingly peacefully asleep, some of the anger that had been festering inside her since Nate's call seeped away. She had been all set to go in there like gang busters, wake him and read him the riot act, but now she reconsidered. She would never say it to him, but whenever she saw him asleep this way, he exhibited a vulnerability that reminded her of when he was a boy. Of course, even then, he had always tried to keep his emotions under wraps, but sometimes he would let his guard down and allow her a glimpse into his true feelings. He'd been through such a lot. She didn't have the heart to add to his woes. She quietly closed the door and headed back down to the living room.

"Oh," Deeks looked at Hetty in surprise when she came back down the stairs. "I didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"I decided to take you up on your offer for tea, Mr. Deeks," she said as she seated herself in a chair by the sofa.

"Uh okay…You didn't kill Callen, did you?" he asked, giving her a weak smile. Hetty stared back at him expressionlessly.

"Deeks," Kensi whispered, shaking her head in disapproval.

"Yeah…too much. Sorry," Deeks said. "What kind of tea would you like? Chamomile, chai, Earl Grey, green tea, ginger tea, peppermint…"

"Surprise me," Hetty said.

"You've got it." Deeks headed into the kitchen, leaving Kensi and Hetty alone.

"So, Ms. Blye, how does it feel being back home?" Hetty asked. "You look quite well."

"I'm feeling good, Hetty," Kensi said. "Deeks and I been getting out a little bit. Things are going well, we're starting to feel more normal."

"And you are still seeing the orthopedic physician tomorrow?"

Kensi nodded. "Yes, I have an 11 o'clock appointment."

"And Mr. Callen? How is he doing?"

Kensi considered her words carefully before replying. "He seems like he's improving," she said. "Deeks relates well to him. I think it's good for him."

"Hmm…" Hetty said. "That may be, however, Mr. Deeks is not a psychological specialist. No matter how well everyone thinks Mr. Callen is doing, the fact remains that he needs to see someone more qualified to help him."

Kensi shook her head. "I'm really not comfortable discussing this, Hetty…You should talk to Callen about it, not me."

Hetty nodded. "Yes, of course, you're right, I apologize for making you uncomfortable, Ms. Blye."

"It's okay, Hetty."

The two women were quiet for a few moments and then Deeks reentered the room, carefully carrying a cup of tea. "I decided on peppermint," Deeks said as he handed the tea to Hetty. "If you don't like it, I can make you something different."

"Oh I'm sure that this is fine," Hetty said as she took the tea from Deeks. She took a small sip and nodded in approval. "This is very good indeed. Now please, why don't you take a seat and join us."

"Yeah, okay. Sure." Deeks sat down next to Kensi and gazed back at Hetty, unsuccessfully trying to think of something to say. Luckily, Monty chose that moment to come into the room. "Hey Monty, come here boy," Deeks called to the dog who eagerly went to him. "Hey boy, how you doing? Look who came to see us." He patted his dog and playfully ruffled his fur.

Hetty looked towards the staircase and wondered how long Callen would be asleep. He never slept for very long. She couldn't imagine today would be any different.

xxxxx

Once again, Callen's peaceful sleep evolved into something that was anything but peaceful…Darkness, a sense of being alone, of unspeakable terror. He awoke panicked and trembling all over. It was only just beginning to get dark, but he quickly flicked on the switch on the lamp, bathing the room in light as he tried to calm down and slow his breathing. "Why is this happening?" he asked himself. He knew the feelings weren't going away. If anything, they were intensifying. Thinking he would feel better in the company of Kensi and Deeks, he pushed aside the covers and got out of bed, then headed downstairs.

He stopped short near the bottom of the stairs when he saw Hetty sitting in the living room. His first instinct was to turn around and hightail it back upstairs, but it was too late. She had already seen him. "Welcome, Mr. Callen," she said, smiling at him.

"Hello, Hetty," he said, making his way down the rest of the staircase. "I didn't expect to see you here." It wasn't exactly the truth. He had expected her. He just hadn't been sure when she would arrive. He'd hoped she would have waited until the following day. He should have known better.

"I had a call from Nate…" she began as Callen made his way into the living room.

"Uh…I'm going to start on dinner," Deeks said, directing his attention to Callen. "Is there anything in particular you want?"

Callen shook his head. "No…anything's fine."

"I'll help you, Deeks," Kensi said, her eagerness to escape obvious as she grabbed her crutches and quickly made her way out of the living room behind Deeks.

"Guess we cleared the room pretty fast," Callen commented as he took a seat on the now abandoned sofa. "So, you had a call from Nate? That's funny, I had a visit from him. Totally unexpected."

"You could have given him a chance," Hetty said.

"Why?" Callen asked, his expression angry. "Couldn't you have at least warned me, Hetty? I had no idea you were going to sic him on me like that. You didn't even give me a chance to think about how I wanted to handle things, if I wanted to maybe see someone else. I've only been home a few days, for God's sake. Can't you just give me a chance to breathe?"

Hetty saw how upset he was by what she had done, much more so than she would have thought. At that point she decided to back off just a little bit. "You do need to see someone, Mr. Callen," she said quietly. "Sooner rather than later. If not Mr. Getz, then you need to find someone else who is qualified to help you."

Callen sighed as he stared down at the floor. He wanted to say he didn't need to see anyone, that he could handle it on his own, but he wasn't doing a very good job of that so far. The nightmares and fear of the dark he was experiencing made that very clear. He didn't think he particularly trusted Nate, not after all he had done, but he didn't really want to start over with a new person. It's not like he would easily trust him or her either. "I'll see Nate," he said, so softly that Hetty barely heard his words. "But I have some things I need to discuss with him first…After that, I'll decide if I can try to work with him or not…"

Hetty nodded. "All right. That's fair. When would be a good time to speak with him?"

Callen hesitated for a few long moments then answered. "Tomorrow. He can come here at 11. Kensi and Deeks have appointments so we'll be able to talk freely."

"Very well, tomorrow morning it is. I'm going to be on my way now." She stood up and Callen followed suit to walk her out to her car. Hetty opened her car door and turned to look up at him. "I am sorry for what happened today," she said. "I realize now it was a mistake to send Nate here without warning you beforehand."

"It's alright," Callen said softly, "but just so you know, I'm not making any promises about tomorrow. I…I'll just see how it goes. I…I'm really not sure that I can trust him." He shook his head, memories of what had happened with the operational psychologist vividly coming into focus.

"I understand," Hetty said as she got into her vehicle. "Tell Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye I said goodbye. I'll be in touch."

Callen closed Hetty's car door and watched as she drove off. He then turned around and headed back to the house, his mind now filled with a whole new set of things to worry about.


	52. Chapter 52

_As always, I really appreciate everyone who is reading and reviewing this story. It's the longest story I've ever written with a lot of chapters and some of you have been incredibly loyal throughout. It's not unnoticed and I'm very grateful for the support._

xxxxx

"Something wrong with the omelet?" Deeks asked, his eyes on Callen who was mostly just moving pieces of it around on the plate with his fork.

Callen shook his head. "No, it's really good." He forced himself to put some of it in his mouth.

Deeks frowned briefly, knowing what it felt like to not be hungry and to have people nagging at you to eat. "You don't have to eat it," he said.

"Deeks," Kensi said, sending him a warning look. "He should eat. He hasn't eaten hardly anything since yesterday." She knew that the previous day he had picked at both breakfast and dinner and she doubted he had eaten anything in between. He was still recovering. She knew Deeks was against coddling Callen, but she wasn't going to let him get worse under their watch either.

"I'm right here, guys," Callen said, glancing at Kensi and then Deeks. "Don't worry. I'm going to eat." Last thing he wanted to do was to cause trouble between his friends. He seemed to be disrupting every household he entered. He took another forkful of the omelet which he admitted was good. He just didn't feel like eating. His mind was on Nate's upcoming visit which he wasn't looking forward to in the least. "So, what time are you guys leaving?" he asked.

"We probably should leave by 10:15 in case we hit traffic," Deeks replied. "Plus, I'm not too sure how parking is at the medical center."

Callen nodded and tried to focus his attention on the omelet once again. Just then, Deeks' cell phone rang.

"Hey Sam," Deeks said as he clicked on his phone. "How's it going?" He listened to whatever Sam was saying and put the phone down. "Hey, you guys want to go have dinner with Sam and his family tonight?"

Kensi turned to Callen before answering. He nodded quickly. Kensi smiled. "I guess that's a yes."

"Yeah, Sam, we can come. What time? Okay, we'll see you then." Deeks clicked off the phone and turned to Kensi and Callen. "Six o'clock," he said.

"He didn't want to talk to me?" Callen asked, somehow feeling disappointed by that.

"No…why, do you want to talk to him?" Deeks asked. "You can use my phone."

Callen shook his head. "No…that's fine. I don't know why Hetty hasn't assigned me a new phone," he grumbled. He wasn't sure why he was bothered by the fact that Sam hadn't asked to speak with him. He had wanted some space, which his partner was giving him, and now he wasn't happy with that either.

"So much has been going on. Maybe it just slipped Hetty's mind," Kensi said.

"Things don't slip her mind," Callen said.

"I'm sure if you ask her, she'll give you one," Deeks said. It was obvious that Callen wasn't in a very good mood. He hoped things didn't go badly with Nate, but he wasn't really hopeful that they were going to go particularly well.

"It's going to be okay, Callen," Kensi said softly, looking at him through sympathetic eyes.

Callen nodded and managed to give Kensi a trace of a smile. "I know…you two should get going…"

"He's right," Deeks said before turning to Callen. "You going to be okay here?"

"Of course," Callen said. "Good luck."

"Good luck to you too," Kensi replied as she and Deeks headed out. After they left, Callen cleared the table and washed the breakfast dishes. He then went into the living room to wait for Nate to arrive.

xxxxx

When the doorbell rang, Callen took a deep breath and slowly exhaled in an attempt to get himself together. He then walked to the door and opened it, allowing Nate to enter.

"Hey Callen," Nate said, gazing at the other man as he stepped inside. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Callen said, allowing Nate to go ahead of him into the living room. "Sit wherever you'd like."

Nate shook his head, wanting to allow Callen the opportunity to sit where he would feel the most comfortable. "It doesn't matter to me…you sit."

Callen sighed as his gaze wandered over the living room. Finally, he settled on the chair. He sat, then crossed his arms over his chest, watching as Nate sat on the sofa.

"So…Hetty said you had some things you wanted to discuss…" Nate finally said, breaking what had turned into a long silence between the two men.

Callen shook his head, already becoming aggravated. "I think you know what I want to talk about, Nate. You may be a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them."

"The JDX case…"

"Ya think?" Callen asked, staring coldly at the other man.

"I apologized for all that Callen…I…"

"No you didn't," Callen interrupted.

"I didn't what?" Nate asked, looking a bit bewildered.

"You didn't apologize, Nate, not to me. You were upset that you almost screwed up the case, but you never said you were sorry. You admitted that you had a lot to learn, but we never really talked about what happened."

"Pretty sure I did apologize…" Nate said, thinking back to the aftermath of case, when they had managed to successfully wrap it up.

"I'm sure I would remember that," Callen stated. "Or maybe my brain was too waterlogged…"

Nate blanched at the reference and he looked down at the floor for a few moments before looking back at Callen. "You had mentioned experiencing that before in the past…you said you'd been able to get through it. I didn't think it would be that rough on you."

"So, since I got shot in the past, would that have been okay too?" Callen snapped. "Maybe only use two or three bullets instead of five?"

"No… No, of course not." Nate shook his head. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well, that wasn't exactly my idea of a good time. But, it's not about the waterboarding, not only that, anyway. It's what you said, Nate… that's my main problem with you."

"Go on."

"My name, for starters, mentioning it like it was nothing…throwing around things I told you…confidential things that you had no business mentioning to anyone, especially not to some psychopathic woman who would have killed both of us if we hadn't killed her first. You know my history Nate…you know that would not have been okay with me."

Nate shook his head. "You're right…I shouldn't have said those things. I just…I said what I had to, what I thought would get us out of the situation without getting us killed."

"So how am I to know you wouldn't do that again, Nate?" Callen asked. "If you did it once, why wouldn't you do it again?"

"I wouldn't."

"And I'm supposed to just take your word on that? Why is it different now? If we were in some other dangerous situation, how can I believe you wouldn't use what I've told you against me?"

"You just need to trust that I wouldn't, Callen…I realize that I was wrong…dead wrong."

"And you didn't realize it before?" Callen asked. "You thought it was okay?" He sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know, Nate… I'd like to say I can just put it all behind me, but…I just don't know that I can…Trust is something that needs to be earned. I used to trust you before. Now? I just can't get there."

"So that's it then?" Nate asked.

Callen shrugged. "I don't know…I guess I have to think about it…"

"Well…if it means anything at all, I am sorry, for everything that happened, Callen. And, if you decide to let someone else try to help you, I really hope it works out for you. No matter what you might think, I only wish the best for you."

Callen looked into Nate's eyes for a long moment and nodded. "I do believe that, Nate…"

"Okay, I'm going to get out of here," Nate said as he got to his feet. "You take care of yourself. You can let me or Hetty know when you've made your decision."

"I'll do that." The two men then shook hands tentatively and Nate headed out as Callen sunk back down into the chair. That hadn't been as bad as he had imagined, but he still didn't really know what he was going to do.

xxxxx

"It looks like your ankle is beginning to heal," Dr. Fletcher said to Kensi as he studied the x-ray closely. "I'll see you again in four weeks. We'll x-ray it again and with any luck you'll be getting out of that cast then. Until then, just keep doing what you're doing."

"Thanks, Doctor," Kensi said. She couldn't help but feel a little bit discouraged even though she had already been aware of the timeline. She supposed she had been hoping for some kind of weird miracle that had healed her ankle in record time, but that just wasn't the case.

She left the doctor's office and made her way down the hall to the sports clinic where Deeks was having his first physical therapy session. No sooner had she taken a seat in the waiting room and opened up a magazine, when Deeks came out.

"Hey baby," he said, leaning down to give her a kiss. "How'd everything go with the doctor?"

"It went just as I expected," Kensi replied. "I'll see him again in four weeks and hopefully lose this cast. How about you? How was PT?"

"You know the drill," Deeks said. "They stretched me in ways I'm pretty sure my muscles were not meant to be stretched. Aside from that, no big deal."

"Aww…poor baby," Kensi cooed teasingly as she got up and balanced herself on the crutches.

"I am a poor baby," Deeks said with a grin. "You want to grab some lunch somewhere?"

Kensi nodded. "Sure…what about Callen? Should we go by the house and grab him?"

Deeks nodded. "That's a good idea. If Nate is still there, we'll just bring him back something. I think it would be good for him to go out though."

"At least we have dinner at Sam's later," Kensi said, "but you're right. It would definitely be good for him to get out. I think we should go to the beach. He's so pale. Some sunshine and fresh air would be good for him."

"The beach it is," said Deeks.

xxxxx

"So…how'd it go with Nate?" Deeks finally asked. The three team members were seated at a round table by the beach, munching on burgers, fries and shakes. It had been like pulling teeth to get Callen to accompany them, but now that they were here, he was eating and appeared to be enjoying himself, as far as Deeks could tell.

Callen shrugged as he finished chewing and swallowing the food in his mouth. "Nate said all the right things," he admitted. "But…I don't know…I'm still not really sure what to do."

"It's an important decision," Kensi said before taking a sip of her shake. "You need to take your time and make sure you feel good about it."

"I can't take too long though," Callen said. "Hetty won't stand for it."

Deeks and Kensi both nodded at his words. They had to admit that he was right about that.

"How about you two?" Callen asked, not wanting everything to be about him. "How did your appointments go?"

"Nothing we weren't expecting," said Kensi. "Another four weeks in the cast for me and Deeks was tortured by the physical therapist."

"Some of those PT people can be pretty rough," Callen said, nodding in agreement. "I've run into one or two before who were positively brutal."

"Exactly!" said Deeks, giving an 'I told you so' look to Kensi who rolled her eyes.

Callen settled back and munched on his French fries, content to listen to them banter back and forth. He had to admit that he hadn't particularly wanted to go out, but now that he was out of the house, he was glad that he had let them talk him into it.

xxxxx

"Uncle Callen! I've missed you so much," Kamran said as she hugged Callen tightly.

"I just saw you yesterday, Kam," Callen murmured with a smile, but he had to admit he was pleased by her reaction to him.

"Hey, G, How you doing?" Sam said, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm doing alright, Sam. How are you?"

"Can't complain," Sam said, releasing his partner and greeting Kensi and Deeks as Michelle hugged Callen and kissed his cheek.

"There's cheese and crackers in the living room," Michelle said. "Dinner will be ready in about a half hour."

"Can we do anything to help?" Deeks asked.

Michelle shook her head. "Everything's all set. Just sit down and relax."

"Uncle Callen! Do you want to play with me?" Kam asked eagerly.

"Not now, Kamran," Sam said. "Maybe after dinner. I'd like to talk to him right now."

"Okay, fine," Kamran said with a sigh.

"Callen, are you Kam's friend or Sam's," Deeks asked in amusement as he placed some cheese and crackers on a small plate for him and Kensi to share.

"Come sit down, G," Sam said, directing his partner to the sofa. "I feel like we never get a chance to talk anymore."

Callen gladly did as Sam wanted and sat down on the sofa. Although he thought he was in the best place for him at the moment, he missed his partner more than he wanted to admit.

"So what's up? How was your day?" Sam asked him.

I went for lunch on the beach with Kensi and Deeks," Callen said. "It was nice."

Sam nodded. "Sounds nice. Probably good for you to get out."

"Yeah…yeah it was," said Callen. Then, almost as an afterthought he added casually. "Oh yeah, Nate came by this morning."

"Seriously?" Sam asked. "What the hell, G. You don't think that was important?"

"I told you, didn't I?" Callen asked.

"What did he want? What did he say?"

"He wants to work with me on my issues, at Hetty's suggestion, of course."

"Of course," Sam said with a sigh. "What did you tell him?" He didn't think it was a particularly good idea. He hadn't known what to think when Nate had nabbed Callen. He had feared for his partner's life and still wasn't sure what he thought about the man. They hadn't had to work with him at all since that case and he still didn't even know if he wanted to.

"Nothing…" Callen said, with a shake of his head. "I don't really know what I want to do, Sam."

"You really think you can trust him after what happened?" Sam asked, gazing at Callen intently.

Callen shrugged. "I just don't know, Sam…. But…I do have to talk to somebody," he admitted, looking down, almost as if he was ashamed of that fact.

"Come on, G…lots of people have to. I've had to…Deeks… Hell, probably even Hetty…"

"Yeah, I know. I just don't like having to rehash my life, Sam… Nate already knows it all, at least. Well except for the new stuff. In some ways, it might be easier than talking to a stranger."

"If you can trust him," said Sam.

"Yeah," Callen said, nodding. "If I can trust him…"

xxxxx

 _Okay, so it's probably kind of obvious that I'm still torn on which way to go. Nate or no Nate lol. Some of you have shared your thoughts and I'm just curious if there's a majority leaning one way or the other. I'm getting towards wrapping this story up and have an idea how it's going to go, but just not with who. So, feel free to share your thoughts if you'd like. :)_


	53. Chapter 53

_Thanks to all of you who commented on the last chapter and for your opinions on who Callen ought to work with to try to help him. After a lot of going back and forth, I finally decided. Sorry to those of you who might not be happy, but hopefully you'll keep on reading. As always, I really appreciate your support._

 _xxxxx_

 _Tonight Uncle Callen came over with Kensi and Deeks for dinner. It was fun. He played my video game with me and Deeks made everyone laugh. He is really funny. Maybe that's why Uncle Callen wants to stay with them instead of us? I am still disappointed by that, but I guess there's nothing I can do. I know daddy is his best friend but maybe there is just something wrong that I don't know about. It's not like grownups talk to kids about this kind of stuff even though I bet I could help._

Kamran tucked her journal into its hiding spot and turned out the light.

xxxxx

"That was a nice evening," Michelle said, smiling at Sam who was just entering the living room after doing the dishes which he had insisted upon. "We should do it more often."

Sam nodded as he sat on the sofa next to his wife and put his arm around her. "Yeah, we should," he said, but his eyes appeared distant.

"Sam?" Michelle looked up at him curiously. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head.

"Come on, you can't fool me," Michelle said.

Sam sighed softly. "Just something G said earlier…"

"Go on," Michelle encouraged.

"He's thinking of seeing Nate to help him with what he's going through."

"But…don't you want him to talk with someone?" Michelle asked, looking confused. "And you like Nate, right?"

Sam shrugged.

"You don't like Nate?" she asked. "Since when?"

"I didn't really say that," Sam said. "Nate…he's fine. It's just…I don't particularly trust him and I'm pretty sure G doesn't either. I think it's a bad idea."

"Oh…I always assumed you all were tight."

"We were."

Michelle didn't say anything, but continued to look at her husband with the look she had that always made him talk. Finally, he gave in and she smiled to herself.

"It was a case we had last year…Nate was undercover. He got in over his head and he nabbed Callen."

"But he was undercover, right?" Michelle asked. "It was all just part of the act?"

Sam shook his head. "No…there was more to it than that…" He thought back to a couple of days after the end of the case. He'd come back to his desk after a workout in the gym and there had been a report on his desk…Callen's report. He'd looked around for his partner and saw that he was sitting with Hetty in her office. He'd then opened the report and started to read.

 _Sam stared at his partner as Callen returned to his desk and sat down. "What?" Callen asked, noting the way Sam was looking at him. "What's going on?"_

 _"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Sam said, shaking his head. "Were you ever going to tell me?"_

 _"Tell you what?" Callen asked, his familiar smirk on his face. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Sam."_

 _"This." Sam picked up the report and held it up in the air. "Nate."_

 _Callen got up from his desk and walked over to Sam then grabbed the report out of his hand, his eyes dark with anger. "Where did you get this? It's none of your business, Sam."_

 _"It was on my desk, G. I assumed you left it there for me to read."_

 _"Well, I didn't," Callen snapped. His eyes went to Hetty's office, but the diminutive woman was no longer there. "Hetty."_

 _"Sounds about right," Sam said with a nod. "I guess she thought I needed to read it for some reason."_

 _"Fine. You read it." Callen made a move to go back to his own desk but Sam quickly grabbed his arm._

 _"I think we should talk about it," Sam said, taking care to keep his voice quiet._

 _"I don't need to talk about it, Sam," Callen had said, pulling away from his partner and returning to his desk._

Sam had let Callen go and dropped the subject, deciding to bide his time. The two men had carpooled in together that day. He knew he'd have another chance to try again on their way home.

 _"So…" Sam began right after he'd pulled the Challenger away from OSP._

 _"It's been a long day, Sam," Callen said, turning his head to stare out the passenger window._

 _"He waterboarded you, G?" Sam asked, unwilling to let it go this time._

 _Callen sighed. "No big deal."_

 _Angry, Sam had pulled into the parking lot of a local discount store. "No big deal? Really G? You look me in the eyes and say that again."_

 _Callen looked at his partner for a brief few moments but then dropped his gaze. "I'm fine, Sam…I got through it. Don't worry about it."_

 _"Don't you get it, G? I do worry about it," Sam said, staring at his partner intently. "I worry about_ _ **you**_ _."_

 _"I know you do…but trust me, I'm okay."_

 _"Fine…but just remember that I'm here for you if you ever do want to talk about it."_

 _"I will, Sam… Thanks."_

 _"You're welcome."_

Sam had let it go, but had managed to get bits and pieces out of Callen over time, the confidential things Nate had thoughtlessly said… things he had no right mentioning. Sam knew there was no way in hell that didn't bother his partner a lot more than he was saying.

"So why didn't you tell me about this before?" Michelle asked, bringing Sam back into the present.

"I don't know…G was so closed off about it. By the time he had really opened up, I guess I didn't see the point in bringing it up."

"So you really don't think Nate would be good for him?"

Sam shook his head. "No…of course it's his choice, not mine, but I don't think he'd be very good for him at all."

xxxxx

 _"Where's the JDX, Callen?" Nate's voice was syrupy sweet as he spoke. "Tell me or I'll have my man kill one of your team. Who will it be? Sam? Kensi? Deeks?"_

 _"I said I'd tell you, Nate," Callen said, a note of desperation in his voice. "Don't hurt any of them."_

 _"Sorry, but you were just a little bit too late. Maybe you'll be quicker next time," Nate said gleefully. "Kill the woman."_

 _Callen watched the screen in horror as Kensi was shot point blank in the head and Deeks went to pieces._

 _Nate shook his head sadly. "Kill her boyfriend too. He's not going to want to live without her."_

 _"What the hell are you doing, Nate?" Callen shouted as Deeks was killed the same way as Kensi. "What the hell have you done?"_

xxxxx

Callen awoke, deeply shaken, trying to convince himself it had all been just a bad dream, but not entirely sure that was true, until a knock sounded on the door and Deeks entered his room.

"Callen? Are you alright?" Deeks' blue eyes were filled with concern as he sat on the edge of the bed. He hadn't been sure he ought to come into the room, but Callen's persistent screams had more than convinced him it was the right thing to do. "That must have been a hell of a nightmare."

"Is…is Kensi okay?" Callen asked, his voice shaky.

"Kensi? She's fine," Deeks assured the other man.

"Okay…good," Callen said softly as he nodded, his eyes looking lost.

"You want to talk about it?" Deeks asked.

"No…not really."

"Maybe it would help."

"I'm beginning to think nothing's ever going to help," Callen whispered.

"Don't think that way." Deeks placed his hand on Callen's shoulder and patted it encouragingly. "You'll get through this, Callen. I know you can do it."

"Well, I'm glad you know it, Deeks," Callen said. "Because I certainly don't…"

"Have you thought any more about talking to someone?" Deeks asked.

Callen didn't say anything.

"Because I really think that Nate…"

"Can we not talk about it right now?" Callen asked, looking at Deeks pleadingly. "Actually, I think I'd like to try to get back to sleep if I can." It was the truth. All the broken sleep he'd been getting was making him extremely tired.

Deeks nodded as he got up from the bed. "Sure, Callen, whatever you want. Do you want something to drink? Some tea maybe or some water?

Callen pointed at the mostly full bottle of water on the nightstand. "I've got water, Deeks, but thanks…really. I'm sorry that I woke you and Kens."

"No problem… Get some sleep."

"Thanks…you too."

After Deeks left the room, Callen's thoughts went back to the nightmare. He knew it was only a dream, but it did make him wonder about what exactly his subconscious was telling him. He knew that sometimes there were risks associated with their job and sometimes he had been hurt, even at Sam's hand. Most notably, had been the case on the fifth anniversary of their partnership. Sam had been forced to punch him around a bit. After it was over, Sam had joked that he had pulled his punches and the two had returned to the office where they had stolen a bit of Hetty's scotch to toast to their partnership after she had left for the night. Following that, Sam had suggested dinner and the two had gone out for steaks which Sam had insisted on paying for. As the night had gone on, Callen had felt increasing soreness around his ribs and he knew he would have an impressive-appearing bruise to show for it.

 _"G…you alright?" Sam's worried eyes had been closely watching his partner throughout the meal._

 _"I'm good, Sam."_

 _Sam shook his head. "You'd tell me if you're hurt, right?"_

 _Callen nodded. "Of course I would."_

 _They finished their meal and headed back out to the car for Sam to drive Callen home. Only he didn't drive him home._

 _"Sam…what are you doing?" Callen asked, when it became obvious that Sam wasn't headed in the direction of his house._

 _"I'm going home."_

 _"What about_ _ **my**_ _home?" Callen asked._

 _"Relax, G," Sam said. "Your house will still be there tomorrow."_

 _Callen shook his head . "I told you I was fine."_

 _"I know what you told me."_

 _"So what are you doing?"_

 _"I got cupcakes."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Cupcakes, G. From Amanda's Bakery. To celebrate."_

 _Callen gave his partner a skeptical look. "You're joking."_

 _"Nope. I got cupcakes. I had Michelle pick them up for me earlier today."_

 _"Well…you can bring them to work tomorrow, can't you?"_

 _"They'll be fresher tonight. You're going to like them. I promise."_

 _Realizing Sam wasn't going to back down, Callen settled down and relaxed for the remainder of the ride. It was late when they arrived at the Hanna home and Michelle and Kamran were already in bed for the night._

 _"Have a seat, G," Sam said when they entered the living room. "I'll get the cupcakes." Sam left the living room and returned a few minutes later with an ice pack and sat next to Callen on the sofa. "Let me take a look at you."_

 _Callen rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sam. Really? You made up a lie about cupcakes?"_

 _"I wasn't lying. I just want to take a look at you first."_

 _Callen gnawed on his lower lip and crossed his arms over his chest defensively._

 _"Please?"_

 _Finally, Callen relented and Sam gently raised his partner's shirt, cringing when he saw the multi-colored discoloration over Callen's abdominal area. "Damn, G… I am so sorry."_

 _"I'm fine, Sam," Callen protested. "I'm sure it looks worse than it is."_

 _Sam handed him the ice pack. "Here…"_

 _"Thanks…" Callen took the ice pack from his partner, wincing as he gently placed it over the painful, bruised area._

 _"Are you sure you don't need a doctor? I guess I hit you harder than I realized."_

 _"It's bruised, Sam. I've had broken ribs before. This isn't that. Trust me."_

 _"Okay…I'll get the cupcakes," Sam said._

 _"You'd better not come back with Hetty and a medical bag," Callen called out as Sam retreated to the kitchen for a second time. This time, his partner really did return with a bakery box which he passed to Callen._

 _Callen opened the box and looked inside. There were 11 cupcakes of varying kinds. "One of them is missing," Callen said with a grin as he looked at his partner._

 _"Oh, I guess Kamran got into them," Sam said. "You've still got plenty of choices there, G."_

 _Callen looked them over and finally chose an Oreo Surprise cupcake. Sam took a Chocolate Mint Madness. "Mmm… these are very good, Sam," Callen said, after he had eaten a mouthful of the decadent dessert. "So, total honesty, you were planning on bringing these to work tomorrow, weren't you?"_

 _Sam took another bite of his cupcake and ate it slowly before he looked back at Callen and grinned. "Yeah, you got me." His expression then turned serious. "But I couldn't help being worried about you, so sue me."_

 _Callen smirked. "Cupcakes, Belgian beer and a steak dinner…You certainly know how to celebrate a five year partnership," he said._

 _"It's been a great five years, G," Sam said._

 _"Yes, Sam…Yes it has."_

Looking back on that day and Sam's reaction to hurting him and comparing it with what Nate had done, Callen realized there was really no comparison to be made. It seemed that Nate hadn't given a crap about what he had done to him. He hadn't expressed any concern or remorse following the incident. It was at that moment that Callen realized there was no way that he could work with Nate. He wasn't really sure who he could work with, but Nate just wasn't the right person. He'd lost whatever trust he used to have in the man and wasn't sure he would ever get it back.

xxxxx

 _I'm really sorry to any of you who might be disappointed by this choice. Some of you had great reasons for why Nate should be the one, but in the end, I ended up going back to my first reaction when I saw "Head of the Snake" and I was really disappointed by Nate's lack of compassion towards Callen. I think he deserved better._


	54. Chapter 54

_You were so supportive of the last chapter and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you all so much :)_

xxxxx

"These are really good, Deeks," Callen said, after he had swallowed a mouthful of the blueberry pancakes that Deeks had made for them. "I've got to say, you really are quite a cook. I'm getting kind of spoiled with all these fancy breakfasts."

"Thanks, Callen," Deeks said, looking pleased at the compliment.

"Oh Callen, all this praise is going to go straight to his head," Kensi said, smiling.

"I notice you're not exactly turning your nose up at my pancakes," Deeks said to her. Just then, his cell phone rang and he grabbed it and turned it on. "Good morning, Hetty. Uh huh…uh huh…okay, we'll see you then."

"Hetty's coming over?" Callen asked after Deeks had clicked off his phone. "Why?"

Deeks shrugged. "She didn't say. Just said she was giving us notice this time instead of popping in unexpectedly."

"How much notice?" Kensi asked. "When is she coming?"

"Twenty minutes," Deeks said, grinning.

Callen rolled his eyes. "Wow…that's a whole lot of notice."

"At least we have time to finish up with breakfast," Kensi commented. "Speaking of which, you wouldn't be able to make a few more pancakes, would you?" Kensi gave Deek a pleading look.

"Well…if you insist, do you insist?"

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Yes, Deeks, I insist on having a couple more of your truly wonderful pancakes. Happy now?"

"Yes." Deeks said as he headed over to the stove and the still hot skillet. He then began to pour the batter. "How about you, Callen? You want any more?"

"No thanks, Deeks, I'm pretty full," Callen said, patting his stomach. "I'm going to go take a quick shower and get dressed before Hetty gets here. Thanks for breakfast though. It was great and just leave the dishes. I'll do them when I come back down."

Kensi shook her head. "That really isn't necessary, Callen."

"I want to," Callen insisted.

"We'll leave them for you," Deeks said.

Callen gave Deeks a grateful smile and headed upstairs to shower.

"Deeks, it really isn't necessary for him to do the dishes," Kensi said. "I can do them."

Deeks shook his head, his attention on the pancake batter. "I know it isn't necessary, Kensalina," he said. "It's good for him though."

"Why is it good for him?" Kensi asked with a teasing smile. "So you don't have to do them yourself?"

"Of course not," said Deeks, shaking his head, his eyes serious. "It makes him feel useful, Kens…he doesn't like being dependent on us for everything. I wouldn't like it either. It sucks to be in that situation. If there's stuff he wants to do, we should just let him do it."

"As long as he doesn't hurt himself…"

Deeks chuckled. "Come on…it's not like he's out shoveling holes in the ground or on top of the house fixing the roof. What's going to happen to him? Dishpan hands? He's fine, Kensi. He doesn't need to be mothered. Trust me on that."

Kensi sighed and spoke quietly, even though she could hear the water running and knew Callen was in the shower. "I know, Deeks. It's just…he's still having nightmares and not sleeping well. He looks really tired today or didn't you notice?"

"Yes, I noticed," Deeks said, coming back to the table and putting a couple of pancakes onto her plate. "I still think that everyday routines help. We've been keeping an eye on him. He's recovering physically. He's definitely not worse. If we try to smother him, he's only going to push back and that's not going to help anyone."

"I guess you're right." Kensi reached for the syrup and poured some generously onto her pancakes as Deeks sat across from her.

"In this case, I know I'm right, Kensi. Let him do stuff if he wants to. It's only going to help."

xxxxx

"Come in, Hetty," Deeks said as he opened the door for the operations manager. "How are you today?"

"Fine, Mr. Deeks, just fine," Hetty said as she made her way into the house. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Deeks said. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"Good morning, Hetty," Kensi said with a smile as Hetty walked to the sofa and sat down next to Kensi.

"Good morning, Ms. Blye, are you doing well?" Hetty asked.

"I am," Kensi said and was about to say more when her eyes went to Callen who was coming down the stairs.

"Hello, Hetty," Callen said.

"Good morning, Mr. Callen…" Hetty turned to Deeks and Kensi. "Would it be possible for me to have a word with him alone?"

"If you want to talk with me, Hetty, why don't we just go out?" Callen asked, not wanting to put the couple out of their house once again.

"You really don't have to," Kensi protested, but Hetty had already gotten to her feet. "An excellent suggestion, Mr. Callen. It really is quite a lovely day. Some fresh air will do you good."

The two walked outside and got into Hetty's convertible. "Any preference to where we're going?" Hetty asked, glancing over at her head agent.

"Wherever you'd like, Hetty," Callen replied.

She nodded and the two drove in silence until she pulled up to an isolated spot along the beach. They sat silently for a few moments watching the waves pounding on the shore. "Walk with me, Mr. Callen," Hetty finally directed as she got out of the car and Callen did the same.

"You look tired," Hetty said after they had walked along for a bit.

"I'm a little bit tired," Callen admitted, "but I'm fine, Hetty."

"Hmm… You have a doctor's appointment this afternoon," Hetty informed him. "There was a cancellation and Dr. Bryant called me. He thought it would be good for you to take the open spot."

Callen rolled his eyes. "Isn't it customary for the doctor to call the patient, Hetty? Why didn't he call me?"

"Why you don't have a phone, Mr. Callen," Hetty said with a smile. "I actually brought you a new one. It's in my car."

"About time," Callen murmured under his breath.

"What was that?" Hetty asked.

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought," Hetty said with a knowing smile.

"Do I get to know what time my appointment is or is he going to just show up at the door unexpectedly?" Callen asked.

"No, no…You'll be going to his office. Your appointment is at 12:30. Mr. Hanna will pick you up and take you there."

"Sam?" Callen perked up a little bit at that news.

"Yes, Mr. Hanna was quite insistent on being involved with your plan of care when we first came up with this plan in Seattle. Of course, he did expect you'd be staying at his home."

"Sam needs time with his family."

"You're his family too," Hetty said, looking up at him.

Callen sighed. "I know that, Hetty. Things are fine right now though. I'd just prefer to leave them the way they are, unless you're going to relent and let me return to my own place?" He gave her a hopeful look.

Hetty looked back at Callen thoughtfully, but didn't answer his question. "So, how did things go with Nate yesterday?" she asked.

"Really, Hetty? Is that what its dependent on?" he asked in an aggravated tone. "You know…I could go home if I wanted to. I may work for you, but you really don't have any say over what I do in my personal life…"

"No, but when you were in the hospital, you did agree to stay with either Mr. Hanna or myself until it was deemed that you were able to stay alone. I took you at your word that you meant what you said."

"I really think…"

Hetty interrupted him. "Perhaps you don't recall exactly how poorly you were doing when you were in the hospital? Your frame of mind was not good, Mr. Callen. Shall I go over it all for you? How you refused to believe that Mr. Hanna was alive, even when he was right in front of you? Should we go over all your symptoms? Your nightmares? Your fears?"

"Alright! God, Hetty…sometimes I think you enjoy baiting me," Callen said, clearly frustrated. "I'll stay where I am, unless you insist on me going back to Sam's house."

"No. It's fine for you to stay with Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye. I can see that it's been good for you. And I don't enjoy baiting you," Hetty responded. "But sometimes you can be very stubborn."

"Yeah…well that's the pot calling the kettle black."

"Perhaps so," Hetty said agreeably.

They walked along in silence for a few minutes before Hetty spoke again. "Now…about Mr. Getz…"

"I can't work with him, Hetty," Callen said after another silence. "I gave it a lot of thought, I promise you I did, but…I just can't do it. I really just don't trust him…"

Hetty nodded. "Well, I can't say I'm surprised. I suppose I had hoped you would be able to put your differences with him aside, but I understand why you're not able to."

Callen didn't say anything. He had noted the waterboarding incident in his report after it had happened, but he had never recorded the things Nate had said. He hadn't thought it was necessary at the time. Sam had dragged some of it out of him, but he had never spoken to Hetty about it and had no plans to do so.

"Do you have any idea who you are going to work with? You are going to have to talk with someone and I mean a professional, not one of your teammates. It needs to be someone who can make an informed decision about when you will be allowed to return to work."

"I'll find someone."

"Well see that you do," Hetty said. "Because this isn't a debate. If you don't find someone who is able to give a qualified opinion, you will not be allowed to return to duty."

"I get it, Hetty. I said I'll find someone."

"Good. You let me know when you have. Now, I'm going to have to bring you back as I need to go into the office. "

Callen breathed a sigh of relief. He loved Hetty, but sometimes it was painful to have to deal with her. They headed to her car and then she drove him back to Kensi and Deeks' place. Before he got out of the car, she handed him his new cell phone. "Agent Gibbs has been trying to reach you," she said. "He was quite concerned about you. I told him I would have you call him back."

Callen nodded. "I'll call him later on today."

"Alright, well let me know how you make out at your appointment."

"Won't Dr. Bryant be reporting to you?" Callen asked with a smirk.

"Yes…I suppose he will be… well you have a nice day."

"You too, Hetty. Thanks for the phone. I'll talk to you soon."

"Goodbye, Mr. Callen."

xxxxx

"You weren't gone long," Deeks commented, looking up from his laptop as Callen came back into the house.

"Really?" Callen asked. "It seemed like forever."

"That bad?"

"Oh yeah," Callen said as he sat down in a chair across from where Deeks and Kensi were sitting. "She thinks I'm her kid, her **_five-year-old_** kid."

"Oh that's a little bit of an exaggeration, isn't it?" Kensi asked.

"No…not really. I have a doctor's appointment today, which she made for me, because God forbid I make my own appointments."

"She just cares about you, Callen," Kensi said.

"Yeah, I know…but I really wish she'd dial it back a little bit."

"I can give you a ride to the doctor," Deeks said. "What time?"

Callen shook his head. "Thanks Deeks, I appreciate the offer, but Sam is actually going to take me and I guess I need to do a few things before I go. She really doesn't give much notice for stuff." He stood up, shaking his head as he went over to the kitchen to do the dishes.

"Cal…"

"Kens…don't," Deeks said, shooting her a look.

"But he needs to leave soon," she protested.

"He can handle dishes."

"I can, Kensi," Callen called to them, grinning. "I've still got a half hour or so before Sam will be here."

Kensi blushed, Deeks chuckled and Callen quickly got the dishes washed, dried and put away. He then went back to the living room to wait for his partner to arrive.

xxxxx

"So…you make a decision about Nate yet?" Sam asked as the two men sat in the waiting room, waiting for Callen's name to be called.

Callen nodded. "Yeah, I've decided to find someone else. I have no idea who, but…I don't think I can work with him."

"Well…I've got to say, I think you're making a good choice," Sam said. "After what he did to you, I can't say I trust him either."

"Mr. Callen?" the receptionist called his name.

"See you in a bit." Callen got up and followed the medical assistant into a small room where she proceeded to take his vital signs. He then waited for a few minutes until Dr. Bryant came in.

"How are you doing, Callen?" the doctor said as he shook Callen's hand. "Haven't seen you for a while."

"No offence, but I kind of wish we had kept it that way," Callen said with a grin. "How have you been?"

"Can't complain." He skimmed through Callen's chart. "Well, your vitals look good. No fever. You still taking the antibiotics?"

"Yes," said Callen, nodding.

"Good. Let's have a look at you." Dr. Bryant then proceeded to carefully examine Callen. "Are you making sure to do some deep breathing exercises daily?" he asked after he had gently prodded Callen's rib areas.

"Well…"

"It's important, Callen," Dr. Bryant scolded gently. "You don't want to wind up with pneumonia, do you? Are you taking anything for the pain? It will enable you to breathe easier."

"I'll try to remember to do them regularly."

"Do more than try. Do them, Callen. I don't think you want another hospitalization added to your chart."

"No…you're right about that. I'll do them. I promise."

"Alright, I want to keep a close eye on you. Make an appointment with the receptionist to come back in a week."

Callen's first instinct was to complain, but he didn't, realizing that he needed to follow the doctor's instructions. He really didn't want to end up getting sick. "I'll do that."

Dr. Bryant smiled. "Okay then. I'll let you get on with your day. I'll see you next week."

Callen nodded. "Have a good day."

Callen made the requested appointment and then went over to his partner who was standing by the door. "Come on, Sam, let's get out of here."

"Everything go okay?" Sam looked at his partner curiously as they walked through the parking lot to where the Challenger was parked.

"Yeah, I'm good," Callen said with a nod.

"You want to get some lunch?" Sam asked after the two men had seatbelted themselves into the car.

"Okay, sure."

"Where do you feel like going?"

"Wherever you want, Sam. It doesn't matter to me."

"Is a double-double calling your name?"

Callen smiled. "Well, I'm not going to say no to a double-double."

Sam nodded as he pulled out of his parking space. "In-N-Out it is then." They drove to the closest location. When they got there, Sam turned to his partner. "You want to eat inside?"

"Why don't we order from the drive-through and eat at the beach," Callen suggested.

"Sounds good." Sam ordered their lunch and after passing the food off to G, drove to the nearest beach. "This good?"

"Yeah, perfect." Sam pulled off the road and the two men got out of the vehicle then went and sat on the stone wall alongside the beach. "So things going good with Kensi and Deeks?" Sam asked, as he took a bite of his burger.

Callen nodded. "Yeah, things are fine."

"Listen G…I just want to say, I'm sorry if I or my family did or said anything that made you not want to stay with us."

Callen gave Sam a stricken look. "Come on, Sam… Of course you didn't. You and your family have always been good to me. It's what I said. I just thought you deserved some family time without me butting in all the time. Kam should have some daddy-daughter time."

Sam shook his head. "Trust me on this, G…Kam would like nothing more than to have some time with her Uncle Callen."

"I'll make time for her, Sam. I promise."

Sam shook his head. "I'm not trying to pressure you into spending time with Kam, G…I just want to make sure you know that you're always welcome…that you're a part of our family.

"Trust me, Sam, I know," Callen said, gazing back at his partner emotionally. "You and your family have always made that very clear to me."

"Alright…I guess I just wanted to make sure…"

"You're my best friend, Sam…my brother," Callen said emotionally, wanting to assure his partner of the truth behind his words. "That's never going to change."

"Thank you, G…" Sam smiled at his partner. "You already know the same goes for me, but it bears repeating."

Callen smiled and the two men returned to their lunch. They ate quietly, making some small talk, but mostly just content to enjoy the day and each other's company.


	55. Chapter 55

_Sorry about the wait on this chapter. I was a little stuck and then my imagination kind of went crazy;) In any case, here you go. As always, I appreciate the support. Thanks for reading :)_

xxxxx

"Hey Callen, how was your appointment?" Deeks asked as Callen came through the front door and into the living room. "Everything okay?"

Callen nodded. "Yeah. Everything's good." He sat on the chair across from where Deeks was sitting, unsure of what to do with himself. He thought about calling Gibbs, but it was relatively early on the east coast and Gibbs would be at work. He was going to wait until that night to call him. He felt restless and bored. "What are you guys up to today?"

"Nothing," Deeks said with a shrug. "Why? Do you want to go someplace?"

"No…I was just wondering…You need any help with anything around here?"

Deeks thought about that and slowly shook his head. "Sorry, Callen. I can't really think of anything. If I do, I'll be sure to let you know."

Callen nodded. "Thanks."

"Hi Callen," Kensi said, coming into the living room and sitting next to Deeks on the sofa. "Everything okay with you? What did the doctor say?"

"Not much," Callen said with a shrug. "Just to make sure I do breathing exercises and I need to see him again in a week."

"Have you been doing them?" Kensi asked.

"Sometimes," Callen said.

"Yeah, they kind of suck, especially if they hurt," Deeks said. "I guess they're a necessary evil though."

"Yeah, I need to get with the program, I guess," Callen said. "If I don't, I'm never going to get back to work."

"I'm eager to get back too," Kensi said. "Even if I can't be in the field."

Deeks looked from Kensi to Callen with an amused look on his face. "You guys need to learn to relax," he said. "Look at all we've been through the past few weeks. I mean, I admit I'd love to be out surfing, but I'm not obsessively thinking about work because I can't be.

"I'm not obsessively thinking of work," Callen denied what Deeks had said. "But I admit, I want to go back. You'll all be back there next week and I'll be having to spill my guts to some shrink."

Kensi looked at him sympathetically. "It won't be that bad…"

Callen stared back at her. "Really, Kens? You want to take my place?"

"Well, no," Kensi admitted with a faint smile. "But it's not like I haven't had to do it before. All of us have at one time or another."

Callen sighed. He had talked to Nate and other shrinks for psych evals in the past, but this was the first time he actually believed he _**needed**_ to do it. He'd always just told them what he figured they wanted to hear before. Now he didn't even know how he was going to handle it. He had a feeling that trying to sidestep everything wasn't going to work for him this time. Wishing and hoping his nightmares and fear of the darkness away certainly wasn't helping.

Deeks thoughtfully eyed Callen and then got up off the sofa. "Come on, we're getting out of here,"

"To do what?" asked Kensi.

"To go where?" asked Callen.

"You'll see," Deeks said, grinning at them.

"I think I'm going to just stay here," Callen said, feeling very much like a third wheel. "You two go and have fun."

"No way, Callen," Kensi protested. "If you're not going, I'm not either."

"You are **_both_** coming," Deeks said. "I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Come on, Deeks," Callen said. "I just got back from being out."

"Really?" Deeks asked. "You call going to the doctor's being out? You really need to get a life, Callen."

"We got lunch too."

"Sorry, that doesn't count. You need to do anything or are you ready to go now?" Deeks asked, looking at his reluctant girlfriend and friend.

Callen looked across at Kensi who grabbed her crutches and got to her feet. "Fine," she said with a sigh. Callen stayed put in his chair.

"We're not leaving without you," Deeks said, staring at the other man.

"He does mean that," Kensi said. "He'll just persistently nag you until he gets his way."

"What if I'm just super tired and not feeling up to going out?"

"Are you?" Deeks asked.

Callen thought about fibbing and saying he was too tired to go out, but he wasn't and in any case, he was sick of being thought of as an invalid. "No." He finally stood up and stared at Deeks. "I'm ready."

"Great, let's get moving," Deeks said with a grin.

xxxxx

"I need to make a stop," Deeks said as he pulled into the parking lot of a local drugstore.

"What are you getting, a pack of gum or a comb or something?" Callen asked.

"Not exactly," Deeks turned his head toward Callen who was seated in the back and grinned. "Either of you want anything? Callen, you're kind of grouchy. You need some candy to eat in the car?"

"You're hilarious, Deeks," Callen said. "I don't need anything."

"I'm good," Kensi stated.

"Okay, I shouldn't be long. Try not to talk about me too much." Deeks then got out of the car and closed the door.

"Sometimes I wonder about him," Callen said, watching through the window as Deeks entered the store.

"Sometimes I do too," Kensi admitted with a giggle, "but he's just so cute."

"I'll take your word on that," Callen said, smirking. He couldn't say cute was in his vocabulary of words to describe Deeks.

After about 10 minutes or so, they spotted Deeks exiting the store, carrying a large box. "What the heck does he have?" Kensi asked.

Callen squinted and eventually could make out the words on the box. "It's a wheelchair."

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Oh you've got to be kidding me." She rolled down her window and called out to Deeks as he approached the car. "Deeks, return that! I don't need it."

"Too much walking where we're going for you to have to use crutches, Kens. Besides, I can donate it somewhere when you're done with it. I'll find someone who really needs it and give it to them."

Kensi sighed but knew enough to try to argue with Deeks when he was like this. He put the box in the back of the car and tossed Callen a pack of M&Ms. "Here, I think your blood sugar may be low." He then gave a pack to Kensi too.

"Ha ha," Callen said, but he found himself unable to resist the multi-colored candies once they were in his possession and he began nibbling them as Deeks started up the car once again.

xxxxx

"The M&Ms calmed junior down nicely," Deeks whispered to Kensi as he drove.

"You do know that junior isn't deaf, don't you Deeks," Callen asked from the back seat. "Or did you forget there's not a piece of soundproof glass between us."

"Of course not," Deeks said, smiling. "Just making sure you were paying attention. But in any case, it doesn't matter, because we're here."

Both Callen and Kensi looked out their windows. "Santa Monica Pier?" asked Callen. "Really?"

"Yes, really, my little friend. You're going to have fun in spite of yourself," Deeks said. He drove around in search of a parking spot and managed to find a good one. He then got out of the car and reached into the back seat for the box containing the transport wheelchair and began to open it.

"Deeks? You do realize that it only has small wheels." Kensi had gotten out of the car and was watching as he pulled it out of the box and began to unfold it. "You're going to have to push me around."

"And that will be purely a pleasure," Deeks said, grinning at Kensi. "A labor of love."

Kensi began to laugh which turned into her familiar snort and Callen couldn't help but laugh too, caught up in the absurdity of the whole thing. "Do you need help with that?" he asked, watching Deeks.

Deeks shook his head. "I've got it. It mostly just needs to be unfolded, not really much assembly." He got it ready to move relatively quickly and pushed it over to Kensi. "Your chariot awaits."

Kensi smiled as she sat down in the wheelchair and twisted her head upwards to look at Deeks. "This really was very sweet of you."

"You know I'd do anything for you, Fern," he said softly, leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead. "But come on, let's go explore and have some fun."

xxxxx

The trio spent the next couple of hours playing arcade games, exploring shops filled with all kinds of unique memorabilia, eating ice cream cones and Kensi and Deeks even managed to persuade a reluctant Callen to ride the Carousel with them. Finally, they decided to head out. "Oh Deeks, the ferris wheel," Kensi gave him a pleading look. "I love the ferris wheel."

"You know I can't resist you anything when you look at me that way," Deeks said. "Come on, Callen, one more stop and we'll finally be out of here."

Callen followed them along contently. He was actually glad he had come. Kensi and Deeks had a carefree way about them that was contagious and for a while he had been able to put some of his problems temporarily out of his mind. That was, at least until they reached the ferris wheel.

"Hey Callen, you going to come with us?" Deeks asked, turning to look at the other man who was lagging behind them. He was staring at the ferris wheel with a look of what Deeks would have thought was fear in his eyes, if he didn't know better.

"What?" Callen looked at Deeks and shook his head. "Uh…no. You guys go ahead. I'll wait over there on the bench." Without waiting for a response from Deeks, Callen turned away from them and walked over to the bench, leaving Kensi and Deeks looking after him.

"That was kind of weird," Deeks said as he pushed Kensi's wheelchair to take their place in the line to ride the ferris wheel.

"It wasn't that weird," Kensi said. "Do you really think Callen is a ride guy, Deeks?"

"I don't know…" Deeks said. "It was just the look in his eyes. It was like he was scared…"

"I doubt Callen is scared of a ferris wheel," Kensi said. "I don't think he's afraid of heights. I've never seen any evidence of that, have you?"

"No…" Deeks said after a brief hesitation, "but I don't know, Kensi…I still think that there's something up with him…something wasn't quite right…"

xxxxx

Callen's heart was beating like crazy as he made his way over to the empty bench and slumped down on it. He leaned forward and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. Long forgotten memories were suddenly flashing into his mind. He took some deep breaths and tried to clear his head, but the images were becoming more vivid now and he couldn't seem to stop them.

It had happened when he was six years old. He had been living with the Murphy family for about two weeks, give or take. Brenda Murphy had been a sweet, but timid woman. She had been very loving towards Callen, taking him places, giving him treats. Her husband, Donald, had been an entirely different story, but he had worked a lot and fortunately wasn't around all that much. That day, Brenda had taken him and his foster sister, Jenny, who was a couple years older than him, to the local fair. They had gone there on the bus and Donald was to pick them up after he had finished work for the day. At first, he had a blast. Brenda had allowed him to eat countless treats, a hot dog, cotton candy, ice cream, popcorn. He couldn't remember ever doing anything like that before. It had all been perfect, until the ferris wheel. When it first started, he'd been amazed as they rode in the cart and he looked down on all the people, feeling like an astronaut or a pilot. He had sat in the middle and felt quite safe, not thinking it was scary at all. That was until the wheel had stopped suddenly and they had been at the very top. Even then, Jenny had told jokes and made him giggle and he still hadn't been afraid, not until Brenda had started to panic.

 _"Oh my God…Oh my God…we're all going to die. We're going to die," Brenda said as tears started to roll down her cheeks._

 _"We…we're not really going to die, are we?" Callen had asked, looking up at her with his big blue eyes._

 _"Of course we're not," Jenny said, taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "Everything is going to be okay. Don't be scared."_

 _"I'm not scared," he had stated bravely._

 _"Why don't you help us!" Brenda screamed and when she did so, some of the children in other carts below them started to cry and finally Callen did too. "We're all going to die!"_

Of course, they hadn't died, but by the time the problem was fixed, it was almost an hour later and even Jenny was a little worse for wear when they finally were back on solid ground. Donald Murphy, who had been waiting for a half hour, was in no mood for excuses, no matter how good they were. All he wanted was to get home to a hot meal and a cold beer. It didn't help that they were now in rush hour traffic, which on a Friday afternoon, was even worse than usual.

 _"Don't know what you were doing up there on that fool wheel anyhow," Donald barked at his wife. "You're an idiot."_

 _"You're an idiot," Callen piped up from the back seat._

 _"What did you say?" Donald asked, glaring at the child through the rear view mirror. "You better watch yourself, you little shit."_

 _"Callen, don't," Jenny whispered to him. "You're going to get in trouble."_

 _"I don't feel good," Callen said. "I need to get out of the car. I think I'm going to throw up."_

 _"You better not!" Donald yelled at him. "I can't pull over anywhere. Damn you, Brenda, taking these snot-nosed brats to the fair. I oughta wallop you."_

 _"Please, Donald…" Brenda said, starting to cry._

 _"You're a mean man!" Callen shouted. "You're not supposed to make girls cry."_

 _"No?! Well I'm sure as hell going to make you cry when I get you back in the house," Donald said, enraged at the gall of the boy._

 _Callen narrowed his eyes and stuck out his lower lip, but he didn't say anything until his stomach started churning once again. "Brenda? I really am going to be sick," he called out to her._

 _"Oh honey, try not to," Brenda said as she glanced nervously at her husband. 'We're almost home, sweetie."_

 _"I…I don't know how to hold it in," Callen said and then he couldn't. He threw up all over the back of Donald's seat and all over the carpeting._

 _"You little bastard!" Donald screamed. "You're going to be so sorry you did that! You'll be so damn sorry, you'll wish you'd never been born! Just you wait till we get home. Just you wait!"_

Callen came back into the present, pretty shaken by this long forgotten memory. He looked up at the ferris wheel and could see Kensi and Deeks. They looked so happy and in love. He couldn't help but envy them. They waved down at him and he halfheartedly waved back at them. He thought about his memories again and tried to remember what had happened after they had arrived home that day. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't recall anything else. It was all just a giant blank. Just another thing that showed him how truly screwed up he really was. He couldn't help but wonder if he was ever going to be able to go back to work…


	56. Chapter 56

_Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. Skippy, hope you had fun abroad. Sounds wonderful :)_ _A special thanks to Max and Fern 4ever for giving me the idea for who may be able to help Callen. I thought it was a good one. Also, sorry that this chapter is kind of short. For whatever reason, I had a hard time writing it, but wanted to get something out this weekend._

xxxxx

"That was so fun," Kensi said as she got back into the wheelchair and Deeks pushed her away from the ferris wheel. "I've always loved ferris wheels, ever since I was a little girl."

"One thing I'll say about you, you're definitely easy to please," Deeks said, smiling as they approached the bench where Callen was sitting. The smile left Deeks' face quickly though when he looked at Callen. He looked disturbed and almost seemed to be dazed. "Hey Callen? You okay?"

When Callen failed to respond to Deeks' question, Kensi reached for his hand. Callen jumped at her touch and looked at Kensi in confusion.

"Callen? Are you alright?" Kensi asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He got up from the bench and started walking ahead of them towards the exit. "We ready to get out of here?"

"What was that?" Kensi asked, looking up at Deeks as he started to push her again.

"I don't know," Deeks said, shaking his head. "But I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything good."

xxxxx

The mood in the car was tense as Deeks drove the little group back home. Callen was silent which rubbed off on Kensi and Deeks as well. Except for a few brief periods of small talk, none of them said anything. When they arrived back at the house, Callen immediately headed for the stairs and went up to his room as Kensi and Deeks went into the living room.

"What do you think happened?" Kensi asked as she sat on the sofa, a look of concern on her face.

"I have no idea," Deeks said with a shrug. "Maybe he ran into someone he didn't like?"

Kensi nodded slowly. "Maybe…Although he did start acting weird when we first went over to the ferris wheel…"

"Yeah…I don't know Kens…I don't think speculation will help. Unless he decides to talk to us about it, which I doubt is going to happen, I don't think we're going to be getting any answers."

"I think you're right," Kensi said. She leaned into Deeks and he put his arm around her. "Want to watch a movie or something?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure." He picked up the remote control from the coffee table and turned on the television as they both tried to distract themselves from their unhappy friend upstairs.

xxxxx

Callen sat on his bed with a sigh. He knew he had acted like a jerk on the way home. Deeks had gone out of his way to make a nice afternoon for the three of them and he had ruined it. He wasn't sure exactly why he was so affected by the memory. It wasn't really all that terrible in itself, but the fact that it had ended so abruptly, when there had obviously been more to it, was the part that really bothered him. The fact that there was another part of his childhood he had blocked out, made him wonder if there was even more that he couldn't remember. It made him feel very uneasy and somehow incomplete. He picked up his laptop and turned it on, then began the tedious process of trying to find someone who could maybe help him. After about an hour, he still had made no headway. There were just so many psychologists and they were all beginning to sound the same. Exhausted, he closed the laptop, stretched out on the bed and fell asleep.

xxxxx

"You feel like eating anything?" Deeks asked Kensi. "It's almost 6." They were partly through what he found to be a very boring movie. At least preparing food would give him something to do other than watch it.

Kensi shrugged sleepily. "I don't know…I'm not really hungry."

"Yeah, me either," Deeks admitted. "Guess that's what happens when you eat ice cream cones late in the day."

"Hmm…I guess…especially three scoop ice cream cones." She shifted her position and yawned. "Do you like this movie?"

"Considering I'm sort of hoping every character in it gets killed, I'm guessing the answer is no," Deeks replied with a grin.

Kensi smiled and picked up the remote control then turned the channel. "Let's find something else to watch."

"Something funny would be good. I could use a laugh."

Kensi nodded and started to scroll through the channels, but nothing really appealed to either of them. Finally she just turned the television off. She rested her head on Deeks' chest as he absently started to play with her hair. "Do you think you should check on him?' she finally asked.

"I'd like to," Deeks said, "but I'm not going to."

"Why not?"

He shook his head. "It's not going to help anything. Most likely, it'll just piss him off and I don't want to do that. I'm going to leave him alone for the time being. He knows where we are if he wants company or wants to talk."

"You're probably right," Kensi said. "I just can't help but worry about him sometimes. He just gets this lost look in his eyes that makes me feel really sad for him and I want to help him feel better."

"I think it's just going to take time, Kens," Deeks said quietly. "It really hasn't been very long. Whatever is eating at him…it's not just going to disappear overnight…He needs to take the proper steps to help his recovery. We can't do it for him."

"I know," Kensi said, sighing softly. "I just wish it was easier. I want him to be able to put this behind him and get on with his life."

"Me too, baby….Me too..."

xxxxx

Callen awoke after about an hour with his heart pounding and a strong feeling of dread. He had no idea what he had been dreaming about or why he felt the way he did. "You need to get yourself together," he whispered to himself. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was 6 o'clock. It would be nine in D.C. He picked up his cell phone and thought about calling Gibbs, but wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to do it right then. He played with his phone and was in the process of passing it from one hand to the other, when it suddenly rang, causing him to start slightly. Gibbs' name came up on the display. He stared at the letters for a few seconds then clicked on the phone and put it up to his ear. "Hey Gibbs," he said. "I was just about to call you…"

"Really Callen?" Gibbs' familiar voice came over the phone. "Somehow I don't really believe that. How are you? I get back from an overseas trip and find you've been in all kinds of trouble."

"I'm good," Callen said. "How are you doing?"

"Everything's fine with me. Hetty kind of gave me the impression things weren't so good with you though," Gibbs said, concern evident in his voice.

"Oh? Well, you know Hetty," Callen said with a laugh that sounded false even to his own ears. "She's always making something out of nothing." The hitch in Callen's voice belied his words though and he knew he was dangerously close to losing it.

"Come on, Callen…I know we don't see other that often, but I've known you for a long time…"

Callen swallowed hard, not saying anything. He was mortified to find tears welling in his eyes and was grateful Gibbs wasn't there in person.

"You there?"

"Yeah," he answered gruffly, blinking his eyes quickly then swiping them with the back of his hand. "I'm here. I'm good."

"Come on…talk to me…"

"I just…" He had no idea why Gibbs' phone call was causing him to unravel this way.

"You're scaring me…Do you need me to go out there?"

"What? No." Gibbs' offer helped Callen get himself back into some semblance of control. "I don't. I'm fine, Gibbs. I just…I just have some stuff I need to work through, that's all…"

"Someone helping you work through this stuff?" Gibbs asked.

More silence, then finally Callen spoke quietly. "Working on it."

"No offense, but from the sounds of you, you need to work on it a little bit faster."

"Not that easy."

"Hey…you don't have to tell me. You know how I feel about shrinks, but sometimes it's the only way."

"I'm trying to find somebody. Nate…it's not going to work out with him. Like I said…I'm working on it."

"Maybe I can help."

"You a shrink now, Gibbs?" Callen asked, this time with a legitimate chuckle.

"No, but I may know someone who could help you."

"You're forgetting we're on opposite coasts."

"I'm not forgetting. I just think it's possible she would go out there."

"Kind of a long distance for a house call, Gibbs. Don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll find someone."

"She's worked with my team, Callen. She's good. You remember me talking about Kate in the past, don't you?"

"Yeah…I remember."

"Well, this is her sister, Rachel Cranston. Since she's worked with NCIS before, I'm pretty sure Leon would approve it."

"I don't know," Callen said hesitantly.

"You have any better ideas?" Gibbs asked.

Callen's silence once again spoke volumes.

"Let me see what I can do," Gibbs said. "I'll get back to you sometime tomorrow, after I speak with her, okay?"

Callen nodded to himself, feeling a modicum of relief that perhaps some of the burden was being taken off his shoulders. "Yeah…okay, thanks, Gibbs."

"You take care of yourself, get some rest."

"I will, thanks again...good night."

"Good night, Callen."


	57. Chapter 57

Thanks, as always, for continuing to read and support this story :)

xxxxx

After his conversation with Gibbs, Callen lay on the bed and thought about going downstairs to apologize to Kensi and Deeks for his behavior after they left the Santa Monica Pier. However, the psychological weariness he felt translated into physical exhaustion and he ended up falling asleep once again. It was still light outside though and he never thought to turn on the lamp beside him before he drifted off.

xxxxx

 _He could hear the menacing growl in the distance but could see nothing through the pitch blackness of the mine. Callen flattened himself against the wall of the cave, unsure of how to defend himself against this new unknown threat as the growling continued to increase in volume. His last thoughts as the enormous creature attacked him were why was he so alone? Why had his team abandoned him?_

 _xxxxx_

Callen awoke screaming in the dark room and frantically thrust his arm in the direction of where he thought the bedside lamp was. Completely disoriented, he ended up knocking it to the floor and the sound of the shattering glass of both the lamp and the light bulb only further increased his fear.

xxxxx

Kensi and Deeks were in bed reading when they heard Callen's scream followed by the sound of a crash. "What was that?" Kensi asked, looking alarmed.

"I'll find out." Deeks quickly got out of bed and trotted down the hallway to Callen's bedroom. "Callen? Hey man, you alright?" he asked, turning on the wall switch for the overhead light in the room. Once he did so, he saw Callen sitting up in bed with what could only be described as a look of panic in his eyes. He seemed totally unaware of Deeks' presence. "Callen?" Deeks approached him, being careful not to step on any of the shards of glass with his bare feet. "Come on, man…everything's okay. You're okay." He sat on the bed beside the distraught man and cautiously put his arm around his shoulders. He could feel him trembling under his touch. "Callen? Can you hear me?"

Finally, Deeks' words began to penetrate through Callen's shroud of terror. "I…wh…what happened?"

"I'm guessing you had a nightmare," Deeks said, his voice gentle. "You feeling better?"

"I…" Callen's eyes went to the shattered lamp on the floor. "I broke your lamp?"

"I'm not worried about the lamp, Callen," Deeks tried to assure him. "I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"

"But I broke it…if you break things you're going to get punished," Callen whispered, his whole body tensing.

Deeks' eyes widened at this unexpected and definitely worrisome comment from his friend. "Come on Callen, snap out of it."

"Deeks?" Callen said, this time, appearing to really register the other man's presence.

"Yeah, it's me… Callen are you alright?"

Callen nodded but his eyes had that lost look that Deeks and Kensi seemed to be witnessing more and more as of late. "I'm fine."

Deeks saw a bottle of water on the nightstand and reached for it then handed it to Callen. "Here…drink some of this," he instructed.

Callen took the water from Deeks and took a couple of sips before replacing the cap and putting the bottle back on the nightstand. His eyes went to the broken lamp. "I'm really sorry about that, Deeks…I'll clean it up and I'll buy you a new lamp. Just tell me where you got it. Hopefully, I can find the same one."

"Callen, it was just a cheap lamp. I don't care about it. I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to worry about me," Callen said quietly, still appearing focused on the lamp.

"Are you hungry? Why don't we go downstairs and get something to eat," Deeks suggested.

Callen didn't really feel hungry, but he just nodded at Deeks' suggestion.

"Watch out for the glass," Deeks cautioned as Callen moved to get out of bed.

"I…I should clean it up now," Callen said.

"We'll worry about it later. Come on, let's go downstairs."

Callen obediently followed Deeks downstairs and sat on the sofa in the living room. "I'll be right back, okay?" Deeks said. Callen nodded and Deeks quickly ran back up the stairs to his bedroom.

"What happened?" Kensi asked as Deeks entered the room.

"Nightmare," Deeks said. "He knocked over the lamp."

Kensi shook her head sadly. "Oh Deeks, he's just not doing very well."

"It's just a bad day, Kens," Deeks said, trying to reassure her. "Whatever triggered him at the ferris wheel must be still with him on some level. He's downstairs and I'm going to make us something to eat. Are you hungry?"

"I think it might be better if it's just the two of you," Kensi said.

Deeks nodded. "That might be true, but I can still bring you up something if you'd like."

"Well, I'm not going to say no to a food delivery if you feel like making one," Kensi said, smiling at him. She then turned more serious. "Good luck, Deeks."

"Thanks," Deeks said. He leaned down to give her a kiss and then went back downstairs. He hesitated on the staircase, studying Callen who seemed unaware of his presence once again. That definitely was not Callen. There was no way Deeks could come walking down a staircase, which even had one or two squeaks to it, and Callen be oblivious to it if all was well with the senior agent. He shook his head and continued down into the living room. "Hey," he said softly, trying to get the other man's attention without startling him.

Callen slowly focused on Deeks . "Is Kensi coming down?" he asked.

"No…she's reading," Deeks said. "Maybe I'll bring her up something. What are you in the mood for?"

Callen shrugged. He wasn't really all that hungry but he didn't say it. "I don't care."

"Come on into the kitchen with me. You can keep me company while I figure out what to make," Deeks said.

Callen got up from the sofa and followed Deeks out into the kitchen, watching as Deeks opened up the refrigerator and began sifting through ingredients and various food choices. "It's 9 o'clock so I don't think we want anything heavy," Deeks said, "but it's probably better to have some kind of real food in our stomachs to even out the junk we ate when we were at the Pier. We don't want to get sick, do we?"

He sighed softly to himself when there was no response from Callen. He felt like he was talking to himself. "I said, we don't want to get sick, do we?" He turned his head toward Callen then quickly closed the refrigerator door when he saw the look on his face. Callen was staring at him like he had two heads. "What is it?" he asked. "What's the matter?"

"I…why would you say that?" Callen asked, a slight tremor in his voice.

Deeks shook his head in utter confusion, thinking back to what he had just said. "I'm sorry Callen, I'm not really sure what you're talking about…"

"About being sick," Callen said. "Why? Why would you say that?"

"I…do you feel sick?" Deeks asked, grasping at straws about why Callen was suddenly so upset again. It was like walking on eggshells with him. He had no idea when he was going to step on an egg and have it crack then splatter all over the place.

Callen shook his head and turned away from Deeks then walked back into the living room where he slumped back down on the sofa. Deeks slowly followed behind him.

"Callen…you know you can talk to me, right?" Deeks asked as he sat down beside the other man. "Whatever it is...I would never judge you. You know that, don't you? I mean, I've had some fucked up stuff happen to me in my life so even though I don't know exactly what's going on with you, I get having these kinds of troubles…"

"I can't…" Callen whispered. "I can't talk about this stuff."

"What about Sam?" Deeks asked. "I can call him. You know he'll come. He's your best friend. He'll come right away if you want him to."

Callen leaned down and rested his arms on his thighs while he clasped his hands tightly together as one thumb moved over the other thumb in a rhythmic pattern. Deeks found himself staring at Callen's hands and then shook his head trying to regain his focus. "Do you want me to call Sam?" he asked again.

Callen still didn't answer and Deeks was at a loss as to what to do. Finally he got up and did the only thing he could as he grabbed his cell phone. "Sam? I think you need to come over here."

xxxxx

Sam got to the house almost immediately. "Did you break every speed record known to man?" Deeks asked as he opened the door to let him in.

"What happened?" Sam asked, his eyes on his partner who wasn't even aware that he had entered the house. "I thought he seemed okay earlier today." The doctor's appointment seemed almost a lifetime ago now.

"I don't really know, Sam," Deeks replied. "I thought it might be good for him to get out today so we went to the Santa Monica Pier. Everything was fine until the ferris wheel…"

"The ferris wheel?" Sam asked. "What happened on the ferris wheel?"

"It wasn't really on the ferris wheel," Deeks explained. "Kensi wanted to go on it so we walked over there and…I don't know, it was almost like he was scared of it or something. He didn't go on it and afterwards it was like someone flipped the switch. Something was obviously bothering him and he just stopped talking. When we got back here, he went upstairs without a word. Then, Kensi and I were in bed reading and we heard him scream and something shattered which turned out to be a lamp. He obviously had a nightmare and I think he freaked out when he woke up in the dark and was trying to turn on the light. Since then, he's been pretty out of it and now…well you can see for yourself." Deeks shook his head, obviously emotionally affected by Callen's state as he went on. "I don't know, Sam…I thought it was a good thing for him to be staying here, but…look at him now. I guess maybe he should still be at your house? I just don't know…"

Sam gently patted Deeks' shoulder. His eyes were serious and emotional as he looked at the other man. "This isn't because of you, Deeks. This is him being overtaken by his demons. I guess we should have been pushing him a little harder to get help sooner rather than later… I'm going to try to talk to him." He then slowly approached the sofa.

"Hey G…" Sam said softly as he sat down next to his partner. "What's going on with you, buddy?" He started watching Callen's hands as Deeks had done earlier. It wasn't anything he had ever seen his partner do before. Finally, not knowing what else to try, he put his own hand over Callen's and stopped the movement of his thumb. Callen immediately started and seemed to come out of whatever weird trance he had been in. He turned toward Sam and looked at him in confusion, then looked at Deeks who was watching the two of them. "Sam?" he asked. "Wh…what are you doing here?"

"I'm going to get back up to Kensi," Deeks said, deciding to leave the two partners alone. "You know where I am if you need me." He then headed to the staircase and quickly walked up the stairs.

Sam watched as Deeks left and turned back to Callen. "Deeks was worried about you and he called me," Sam replied.

"Why was he worried?" Callen asked, staring down at the floor, not meeting Sam's gaze.

"I don't know, buddy," Sam said. "Maybe you can tell me?"

Callen shook his head and started nibbling on his lower lip. "I…I don't know, Sam. I…I'm alright."

"G…G, look at me," Sam said then waited patiently until his partner did as he requested. His own eyes were filled with emotion as Callen's eyes finally met his. "You're not alright. You know you're not alright, don't you?"

"I…yes…" Callen squeezed his eyes shut but one tear managed to escape and trickled down his cheek. "I…I know I'm fucked up, Sam…really fucked up…and…and it's just getting worse. I don't...I don't know what I'm doing wrong..."

Sam put his hand on Callen's back and gently rubbed it, trying to get his partner calmed down. "Listen, G…none of this is your fault…you know that, don't you? I'm sorry…I know I didn't think you seeing Nate was the best idea, but maybe…"

"No," Callen said, shaking his head. "I…I talked to Gibbs earlier. He said he knows someone he thinks would be good. He's going to give her a call tomorrow and see if he can work it out."

"Yeah?" Sam asked, a glint of hope in his eyes at that bit of news. "Well, that's good, right? It's a first step. Maybe she can really help you."

"Maybe…" Callen said with a shrug as he once again stared down at the floor. "Or maybe I'm too far gone for anyone to help me…" The new memories and lack of other memories were more than a little bit disturbing to him. Just another thing to worry about…just another reason to wonder just how badly off he really was.

"G?" Sam said, his worry intensifying over his partner's seeming lack of fight. "I need you to listen to me, okay?"

Callen slowly turned to face his partner and Sam was struck by just how sad and vulnerable he looked. "You know how much I care about you, right?"

Callen looked back at Sam and slowly nodded his head.

"And not just me. Deeks and Kensi really care about you. Hell, look how badly they wanted you to stay here with them. Hetty cares about you and even Granger in his own way, Eric, Nell…we all care about you. We all want the best for you…We all want to help you in whatever way we can."

Callen didn't say anything, but Sam saw that he at least had his partner's attention.

"I know you can do this G…and whatever you need from me to help you through it, you've got it. I'll be with you every step of the way, if you want to talk or you don't want to talk and you need me to talk you through a rough patch, I'll be there for you. Whether it's midnight, 2 a.m., 4 a.m. or whatever time it is…I'll be here as quick as I can. You call and I'll come. It's as simple as that. I want my partner back. I'll do anything you need to get you back with me okay? I just want you not to give up. You need to stay with this, okay? You need to fight and if you do that, I promise it's going to get better for you. Can you do that for me?" Sam asked. "Can you please just promise me you won't give up?" It was the same promise he had asked for after the plane crash, when they had been stranded and he had been so afraid that Callen was going to die. This was a whole different thing, but it felt just as important and the consequences seemed dire to Sam if he couldn't get Callen to agree.

Callen stared at Sam and slowly nodded, his eyes filled with emotion, knowing that everything Sam said about his feelings were true. "I promise you, Sam," he said quietly. "I promise to do the best I can to get through this. I'm not going to give up."

"Thank you, G," Sam said, his voice breaking slightly as he leaned towards Callen and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Thank you so much."


	58. Chapter 58

_As always, thanks to everyone who has been supporting this story. It's been more difficult to write lately than some of the earlier chapters, but I'm sticking with it as best I can. Janice, I know this isn't exactly what you pictured for the scene with Callen & Sam, but hopefully you like it anyway - Thanks for all your encouragement :)_

xxxxx

"So…you feel like heading to up to bed?" Sam asked his partner after they had separated from their heartfelt hug and were just silently sitting together on the sofa.

"No…" Callen said, a look of apprehension in his eyes, as he met Sam's gaze. He couldn't begin to think about that. He'd rather sit up all night watching television. "You should probably get going though. Michelle's going to be wondering what the heck happened to you."

"No she won't," Sam said. "She knows where I am."

"Still…you should go…" Callen shivered slightly and wrapped his arms across his chest, appearing to be caught up in his own thoughts once again.

"You cold, G?" Sam reached for the folded blanket at the top of the sofa and gently placed it around his partner.

"Thanks, Sam." Callen gave his partner a grateful smile and rested his head on the back of the sofa. It really had been a very long day. "I'm tired of all this," he said softly. "I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and be normal again." He didn't want to go through therapy. He didn't want to talk through his problems. He wished they would just go away. "I want to just forget everything, Sam, you know?"

"I know you do, buddy," Sam said. "If I could, I'd wave a wand and make that happen for you. Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that."

"I know it doesn't," Callen said as he reached for the remote control and aimed it at the television set. "I just wish that it did." He turned on the t.v. and started to scroll through the channels, finally stopping on a rebroadcast of _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory._ "They've been rerunning this movie for a really long time," he commented. "I remember watching it when I was a kid."

"I think everyone has watched it at one time or another," Sam said with a smile.

"I used to want to be Charlie," Callen said wistfully. "I used to think how cool it would be to find a golden ticket and have all your dreams come true… Even watching him with his family, with all four of his grandparents sleeping in the same bed, while other people probably thought that was awful, I thought it was so great because you could see how much his family loved him and each other. At the end, when he was flying around in the glass elevator and he realized that all his dreams had come true...that he and his family were going to live happily ever after...I just wanted to be him so badly…"

Sam had wanted a golden ticket too, but as he watched his partner talk about the movie he felt a wave of emotion come over him. He wished there had been a real life golden ticket that Callen could have found when he was a boy, maybe not a literal ticket, but a family who would have wanted him and given him the kind of life he deserved instead of a life filled with foster families, most of whom had treated him like crap. His partner deserved so much more than the cards he had been dealt.

"Sam?" Callen had glanced over at his partner and was stunned to find that his friend's eyes were overflowing with tears. "Wh…what's the matter?"

"Nothing…nothing G," Sam forced a smile through his tears as he swiftly swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and pulled himself together. Callen had enough issues to deal with without him falling apart. That wasn't going to help either of them.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Callen said softly.

"What? Why are you sorry, G?" Sam asked, confused. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"Yes I do," Callen said, his eyes back on the t.v. but he wasn't really registering what was happening on the screen. "You guys are my team…you and Kensi and Deeks… I'm supposed to be the strong one, the leader. Instead, I'm barely hanging on and the three of you are trying to keep me together when you should be concentrating on yourselves. All I'm doing is upsetting the three of you and disrupting your lives…"

"That's not true, G."

Callen sighed heavily. "It is true, Sam…you…you should go home. At least you have an escape. Kensi and Deeks are kind of stuck with me right now."

"I'm not going home."

Callen stared up at the ceiling and shook his head. "Why, Sam? Why? Because I'm so much fun to be with?"

"No, because you're my friend…my **_best_** friend, and like I've already told you, I'm going to be there for you. And Kensi and Deeks aren't stuck with you…you know that I would gladly have you come home with me at any time. I'm just not pushing it, but it's a standing offer and I'm sure you already know that."

"I do know that, Sam," Callen met his partner's eyes for a brief moment before looking away again…He was quickly tiring now, the emotions of the day catching up with him. "You're a good partner and friend…you've given me much more than I deserve," he murmured.

Sam was going to protest what Callen had said, but he could see that the other man was exhausted, his eyes were heavy and he was on the verge of drifting off. He didn't want to do anything that would prevent him getting some much needed sleep. It only took a short amount of time before his eyes closed and his head slumped against Sam's shoulder. Sam carefully lifted his arm and wrapped it around Callen, hoping his friend would somehow know he was there for him and he would maybe get some restful sleep.

xxxxx

At around 1 a.m., Callen stirred. He opened his eyes to find that the living room light was still on, the television was off and Sam was still there with had his arm around him. The other man's head was leaning back against the sofa and he was snoring softly. Callen was a little bit uneasy with the situation, wondering if he had freaked out and he wasn't remembering it, but he also trusted Sam above all others and knew, without question, that he would always try to keep him safe. Secure in that knowledge, he fell back asleep, hopeful that for one night, Sam's presence would keep the nightmares away.

xxxxx

"Sam's still here," Deeks whispered to Kensi as they stood at the bottom of the stairs watching the two sleeping agents.

"I feel like this it's wrong for us to be watching them, Deeks," Kensi said. "Maybe we should go back upstairs until they wake up."

"Callen must have slept through the night," Deeks said knowingly.

"Because of Sam…" Kensi observed. "He felt safe…"

"He doesn't feel safe with us?" Deeks asked.

"It's not the same," Kensi said. "Sam's his partner, his best friend. They trust each other with their lives, just like we do."

"Well, not quite like us," Deeks said with a slight smirk.

"You know what I mean, Deeks," Kensi said. "I feel so bad for Callen. I really wish we could do more for him."

"We're doing what we can do, Kens," Deeks said. "There's some things we're just unable to help him with."

"I know…"

Just then, Sam groaned softly and reached behind him to rub his neck. His movement caused Callen to stir. Callen's eyes went immediately to Kensi and Deeks. Embarrassed when he saw their eyes on them, he quickly moved away from his partner.

"Good morning," Deeks said as he walked into the living room. "You guys want pancakes for breakfast?"

"Good morning to you," Sam replied as he stretched and slowly began to move his muscles. He was stiff, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. "Pancakes sound great, Deeks. Thank you."

Kensi smiled at the two senior partners and followed Deeks into the kitchen.

"How you doing this morning?" Sam asked Callen after Kensi and Deeks had left the living room.

Callen shrugged. "I'm alright," he muttered. "Thanks for staying, Sam."

"Not a problem. I wanted to stay."

Callen nodded as he nibbled on his bottom lip nervously.

Sam sighed. "G…what is it?"

"Nothing," Callen replied with a shake of his head.

"It's not a big deal. You know that, right? It isn't anything you wouldn't do for me."

Callen couldn't help but scoff at that. "Yeah right, Sam. Like you will ever need me to stay with you because you're having nightmares and are too afraid to be alone. That'll be the day."

"You really need to learn to give yourself a break...All these preconceived notions you have aren't doing you any favors."

Callen sighed heavily, his eyes sad. "You'll be a good leader for the team, Sam. I'm pretty sure it's what Granger wants. Hetty would get used to it."

"What are you going on about now?" Sam asked, unable to help but show the obvious exasperation he was feeling. "Last night you promised me you were going to fight. Now you just sound like you're giving up again. What about what I want? Doesn't that matter at all?"

Callen didn't say anything. He ran his hand back through his hair in an obviously anxious gesture and looked everywhere but at his partner.

"Will you talk to me, G?" Sam grabbed Callen's shoulder in an attempt to get his friend to face him but only succeeded in startling Callen who pulled away from Sam's touch.

"I'm sorry, G…I'm sorry," Sam said, immediately moving away from him.

"Why, Sam? Why are you sorry?" Callen questioned him, obviously tense and upset. "You're sorry because I act like a basket case every time you talk to me or god forbid touch me? There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You're acting perfectly normally. I'm the one who isn't. I'm the one who's acting like a freak!" With that, he got up from the sofa and stormed out of the living room. The next thing Sam heard was the sound of what he assumed was the door to Callen's room slamming.

Sam ran his hand over his face, then got up and walked to the kitchen where Kensi and Deeks were overacting as they tried to pretend they hadn't heard any of what had just gone on. "Come on, guys," Sam said. "I know you heard that. You would have to be deaf not to have heard it."

"I'm sorry, Sam," Deeks said as he flipped a pancake on the hot skittle. "Maybe I shouldn't have called you last night. I just…I just didn't know what to do."

"You did the right thing calling me, Deeks," Sam said. "I always want you to call me if something's up with him. Even if it doesn't see like much of a big deal. I want to know…I need to know…"

"We'll call you, Sam," Kensi smiled at the other man and patted his hand reassuringly. "He needs you."

"I just think he's scared of how much he needs you," Deeks said as he put a plate of pancakes in front of Sam. "It's not an easy thing to admit how dependent you may be on another person. It makes you feel really vulnerable."

"Yeah…and we all know G doesn't do vulnerable really well," Sam said as he poured some syrup onto his pancakes and dug into them.

xxxxx

Right after he left the living room, Callen regretted it, but he was too stubborn to reverse the action so he continued it and ended up going into his room. He almost stepped on the glass that was still on the floor and he stared at the broken lamp, just another reminder of his messed up mental status. He stretched out on the bed and pulled the blanket up over him. He hoped that Sam would just go home soon and not try to talk to him anymore although in his heart he knew better. Sam wasn't going to leave the house until he had checked on him and was convinced that he was doing alright. It was just the kind of a guy he was.

He turned onto his side and fluffed the pillow under his head as he tried to get comfortable. At that moment his cell phone buzzed. He grabbed it and saw Gibbs' name on the display.

"Hey, Gibbs," Callen said, clicking on the phone.

"Callen," Gibbs said. "How are you today?"

Callen was about to say he was good, when he abruptly changed his mind. "I've been better."

"Sorry to hear that," Gibbs said, "I've got some good news though that might turn things around for you. I talked to Vance and he's on board with Rachel going out to Los Angeles. She's flying out later this afternoon. You'll be able to meet her tomorrow."

"Oh…I didn't think she'd be here so soon," Callen said, unsure how he felt about this latest development.

"Well, you didn't think she could help you through osmosis, did you?" Gibbs asked. "Listen, I know how you feel, but this is the only way. The sooner you dive in, the sooner she can help you."

"Yeah, I know," Callen said.

"Well, I've gotta go, we've got a hot case, but I wanted to give you a heads up about what was going on. You hang in there, let me know how it works out, okay?"

"Yeah…yeah I will. Thanks, Gibbs," Callen said, knowing the other man had done a big favor for him, even if it didn't necessarily feel like it.

"You're welcome," Gibbs said. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Yeah…bye," Callen clicked off the phone and tried to relax, but found he couldn't as now his thoughts were consumed with Rachel's arrival and if she would be able to help him. More importantly, he wondered what would happen to him if she couldn't.


	59. Chapter 59

_Finally decided to stop with the one-shots and get back to the sagas lol. Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. You've been super supportive of my efforts and I really appreciate it_ :)

xxxxx

The light rapping on the bedroom door jarred Callen from his dismal thoughts. He wanted to just pretend he was asleep so whoever it was would just go away, but he finally decided that was rude. "Come in," he said with a soft sigh.

"Breakfast delivery," Deeks said with a cheerful smile as he came into the room. "Thought you might be hungry so I brought you some pancakes."

"You really didn't have to," Callen said. "Thanks." He had no desire to eat anything, but he knew that not eating just raised concerns in his friends. It was easier to just eat a little bit and put their minds at ease.

"Sorry I didn't clean up that glass," Deeks said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I was going to do it last night, but the broom and dustpan were downstairs and I didn't want to wake you guys."

"It's not up to you to clean it up anyway," Callen said, staring down at the breakfast plate which he had yet to touch. "You make a mess, you clean it up yourself." That had been drilled into him his whole life. A message that all foster families had enforced, some with a lot more emphasis than others. He shivered slightly at a few of the memories, none of which were very pleasant.

"Aren't you hungry?" Deeks asked, trying to appear nonchalant, but the concern in his eyes and voice was obvious. He felt really bad for Callen and wanted to do something to help the other man. He just didn't know what he could do though.

"Yeah…I am…" Callen broke off a piece of a pancake with his fork and dipped it into the pool of syrup on the plate then put it into his mouth. "It's really good," he said with false enthusiasm. He really did like Deeks' cooking, but at the moment it had all the appeal of a piece of sandpaper. He forced himself to take another bite.

"Callen, you really don't have to eat this," Deeks said. Watching Callen trying to force feed himself was too painful for words. "Why don't you get some rest? You can eat later."

Rather than keep up the charade, Callen nodded. He felt like the pancakes wouldn't easily get past the nervous lump he felt in the pit of his stomach. "Okay," he said softly. "I'm sorry, Deeks. I guess I'm not all that hungry right now, after all."

"No reason to apologize, Callen," Deeks said. He took the plate from Callen and headed out of the room. "Get some sleep."

xxxxx

"He didn't want to eat?" Sam asked, eyeing the plate in Deek's hands which appeared to be untouched. He and Kensi had finished their breakfast and were back in the living room now.

Deeks shook his head. "No, he was trying, but I couldn't stand watching it. Reminded me of when I was a kid and my father used to tell me if I didn't eat, he would shove the food down my throat."

"Nice," Sam said, shaking his head, looking appalled. He couldn't even imagine having spoken to his children like than when they were younger.

"Yeah, well…" Deeks shrugged. "I told him he should get some rest."

"I wish we could think of something to do to cheer him up," Kensi said.

"I do too, but I can't think of anything," Sam said. "I mean, you guys tried yesterday and look what ended up happening."

"Hidden triggers everywhere," Deeks said with a sigh.

Sam nodded. He felt like he ought to leave and give Kensi and Deeks some space, but he couldn't quite get himself to do it. He just didn't feel right about leaving his partner until he saw some kind of improvement in him, even just a little bit.

xxxxx

Callen dozed fitfully on and off for the next hour or so, but he couldn't really sleep even though he felt tired. He sat up and moved the curtains to one of the windows aside and just stared outside at the neighborhood. There wasn't much to see though, just trees and houses. Finally, a man went by, walking his dog. He really wished he could just snap out of the way he was feeling. He hated being like this. He didn't know what to do with himself and he knew he was worrying his friends. He really did wish Sam had a magic wand that would make things better for him. Even as he had that thought though, he shook his head in disgust. Magic wands and golden tickets were certainly not reality. He needed to face his problems, not try to wish them away with childish fantasies. Out of nowhere, he felt the sudden emergence of tears and this time he didn't even try to stop them. He laid back down on the bed, buried his face into his pillow and let himself sob until he had exhausted himself. Then, finally, he was able to fall asleep.

xxxxx

Sam was just about to give up and go home when they heard the sudden sound of the shower from upstairs. "That's a good sign, right?" Sam asked, looking hopefully at Kensi and Deeks.

"It's definitely not a bad sign," said Deeks.

A short time later, Callen came downstairs. "Hey, Sam, glad you're still here," he said casually. "I was wondering if you could take me out to do a couple of errands?"

"Sure, G…I'd be happy to. Whatever you want," Sam replied, doing a commendable job of hiding his surprise.

"Do you guys need anything?" Callen asked, looking at Kensi and Deeks.

Deeks slowly shook his head. "Uh, no…I'm good, thanks. Kens?"

Kensi shook her head. "I can't think of anything."

"Well, just ring my phone if you happen to think of anything," Callen said with a smile. "Sam? You ready to go?"

Sam nodded as he got up from the chair he was sitting on. "See you guys later," he said to Kensi and Deeks.

"Bye," Deeks replied. He watched as the two men left the house and then turned to Kensi. "Wow...his mood is going up and down like a yo-yo."

"I think it's really sad," Kensi said. "He's so unlike himself, Deeks…what if he never gets back to normal?"

"We just have to have faith that he will," Deeks said. "Callen has come through lots of challenges in his life and he has our full support. I wouldn't want to bet against him, would you?"

"No," Kensi said, slowly shaking her head. "You're right, of course. I wouldn't bet against him either."

xxxxx

"So, G, where do you want to go?" Sam asked Callen after they had both seat belted themselves Into the Challenger.

"I want to replace the lamp I broke," Callen said. "Where do you think the best place to get a new one is?"

Sam shrugged. "We can just go to any department store."

"Do you know if there's a lamp store?" Callen asked.

Sam thought for a few moments. "There's Lamps Plus," he said. He really didn't think Kensi and Deeks cared too much about where Callen got a lamp from, but if Callen was taking an interest in something, he certainly wasn't about to discourage that interest.

Callen nodded. "That sounds good."

"Okay, Lamps Plus it is," Sam said as he started up the car.

They drove in silence for a bit until Callen finally spoke. "Sam…" he began tentatively. "I'm sorry about this morning. I don't know what got into me…"

"No big deal, G," Sam said.

"But it is a big deal," Callen said. "You know that's not me…I know it's not me…I just…" he shook his head. "I just can't seem to stop myself from having these bad reactions…"

They arrived at Lamps Plus and Sam found a parking spot before turning toward Callen. "How long have we been partners, G?" he asked him, his eyes serious.

"Almost 10 years…"

Sam nodded. "That's right, buddy, almost 10 years. We've known each other a long time, we're family to each other, right?"

Callen nodded.

"And family members accept things about each other and they want the best for each other. I know you've been through hell and I'm not expecting you to just breeze through everything that's happened. I need you to understand that you shouldn't be worrying about me in all of this. I can take care of myself, G and can take whatever you throw at me."

Callen shook his head, his eyes filling. "But you shouldn't have to."

"But I want to and I'm going to. I will do anything I need to do to get you better and I'll say this as many times as I think you need to hear it until it finally sticks in that stubborn head of yours."

Callen couldn't help but smile at that. "I know I'm being a pain in the ass, Sam…I know you keep telling me the same thing in a thousand different ways."

"And I'm not going to stop, G," Sam said, gazing at his friend intently. "Not until I really and truly feel that you believe my words."

"Thank you, Sam…thank you for always being there for me."

"You're welcome, G," Sam said. "Now, let's go into that store and find a lamp."

xxxxx

Sam and Callen walked into the lamp store and Callen looked around, instantly overwhelmed. "There's a lot of lamps here," he commented.

Sam couldn't help but laugh. "What did you expect?" he asked. "It's a lamp store. "

"I know, but…I just didn't think there'd be so many different kinds…"

"Well, what kind of a lamp are we looking for?" Sam asked. "Table or floor?"

"Table," Callen replied.

"Okay then," Sam said with a nod as he glanced around and then pointed. "That way."

The two men started wandering up and down the aisles of countless lamps. Callen looked positively bewildered by the sheer numbers. "I don't see anything like the one I broke."

"G, it was just a lamp in their guest room," Sam said. "I doubt it was anything fancy. Just get anything."

"I have to get something halfway decent," Callen said. "You don't break something and replace it with a piece of crap."

Sam really didn't think Kensi and Deeks would care, but he continued to walk along, trying to support his friend. "How about this one?" he asked, pointing out a plain, but serviceable-appearing lamp on sale for $34.95.

Callen looked at it dubiously and then shook his head. "I don't think so, Sam…that one is kind of cheap, don't you think?"

"No, actually I think its fine," Sam said. "I like it."

Callen shook his head again. "No…that's not the one I want."

"Did you go to all this trouble when you got a lamp for your house?" Sam asked. "Because if you didn't, I think you need to buy yourself a new lamp as well, seeing as you're so invested in finding the perfect one."

Callen shrugged. "Maybe I will buy a new lamp for myself," he said. "I never really knew how many different kinds there were. Some of them are pretty nice."

Sam smirked but didn't say anything else. For someone who had minimal furnishings in his home, Callen was sure being picky about a lamp. He couldn't help but be amused by it. Finally, Callen found one that he liked and Sam was glad to see was pretty reasonable. "So what else do you need to do?" he asked as they walked back to the car and Sam put the lamp into the trunk.

"I need to get some more clothes from the house," he said. What he didn't say was some of the clothes he had were pretty much hanging off him. He had thought about buying some new things, but he assumed at some point he would start to put some weight back on.

"Sure, we can stop by your house, G," Sam said.

"And I'd also like to stop by Vito's Pizza to grab some lunch for everyone. Vito's was a place the team especially liked. "You'll stay, won't you?" he asked, looking at his friend.

Sam nodded, happy that his partner was planning on eating lunch. "Yeah, I'll stay, G."

A short time later, they arrived at Callen's house. Callen was glad to see that his neighbor, Mrs. Ramirez, didn't appear to be home. He didn't want to have to give her explanations of where he had been. He unlocked the front door and stepped inside. "You can just wait here, Sam," Callen said. "I won't be long." He went into his bedroom and started going through his clothes, concentrating on picking some of the items that might fit him a bit more snugly. After he had gathered up some items and stuffed them into a bag, he returned to the living room. "I'm all set."

"You sure?" Sam asked. "You can hang around here for a while if you want to."

Callen shrugged. "What's the point, Sam? I really don't want to be here until I can actually stay here. It's just a tease when I have to leave." He started walking towards the door and Sam followed him.

"Hey," Sam said, placing his hand on Callen's shoulder and stopping him. "It's not going to be long before you're home, buddy," he said.

"I guess we'll see about that, Sam," Callen replied. "I guess we'll see."

xxxxx

Sam and Callen headed up the walkway to Deeks' and Kensi's place. Callen was carrying the lamp while Sam had three pizzas. "Hey guys," Deeks looked up from the sofa as the two men walked in through the front door. "Whatcha got there?"

"Lunch," Sam stated as he walked through the living room into the kitchen.

"Oh excellent! I'm starved," Kensi said as she grabbed her crutches and headed into the kitchen after Sam.

"What's in the box?" Deeks asked Callen, momentarily more intrigued with that than the pizza.

"I got you a new lamp," Callen stated, handing it to Deeks.

"Seriously?" Deeks asked. "Callen, thank you but that really wasn't necessary."

"I thought it was," Callen said.

"Deeks! Come and have some pizza while it's hot," Kensi called from the kitchen.

"Thanks for the pizza too," Deeks said with a grin at Callen as the two men walked into the kitchen.

"I figured the least I can do is get us some meals once in a while," Callen said, "but I'll definitely have to stick to takeout since I'm no cook."

"Well, I for one am never going to turn down pizza," Deeks said as he sat down at the table and reached for a slice of pepperoni.

xxxxx

The rest of the day went relatively well. Sam stuck around through the afternoon and decided to head home a little before five. "You know where I am if you need me," he said quietly to his partner who had walked him out to his car.

"I do," Callen said with a nod. "Thanks, Sam…for everything."

"Don't forget your clothes," Sam said, grabbing the bag from the inside of the Challenger and tossing it to his partner.

"Thanks."

"Call me tomorrow and let me know how everything goes," Sam said, his eyes intense as he looked back at his partner. "And remember what I said, G…any time of the day or night…"

Callen nodded emotionally. "I'll remember."

Sam pulled Callen into a hug and patted his back then let him go. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Have a good night, Sam."

"You too, G."

xxxxx

No sooner had Callen stepped back in through the front door when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen but didn't recognize the number. "Callen," he said as he answered it.

"Hello, Agent Callen, this is Rachel Cranston," the woman's voice said.

He felt himself freeze up when he heard her, in contrast to his heartbeat which quickened. "Hi," he finally said after a long silence.

"I wanted to make an appointment to meet up with you tomorrow," Rachel said. "I'm pretty open as to time and place. Did you want to meet at your office or should I go to you?"

Callen didn't really want to inconvenience Kensi and Deeks again, but the thought of going into work and having curious looks sent in his direction as to what he was doing there had absolutely no appeal. "I guess here would be good," he said after another long silence.

"Okay. Can you give me the address, please?"

Callen gave her the address of Kensi and Deek's place and heard Rachel say something, but whatever it was didn't register with him.

"Agent Callen? Are you there?" Rachel asked. "What time works for you?"

"Uh…hold on just a sec?"

He covered up the phone and looked over at the sofa where Kensi and Deeks were sitting. "The psychologist is coming here tomorrow," he whispered loudly. "What time should I have her come?"

Deeks shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Callen. Whenever you want her to."

"Any time is fine, Callen," Kensi said, nodding in agreement.

Callen took his hand off the phone and put it back up to his ear. "I guess 10 o'clock?"

"Alright, 10 o'clock it is. I look forward to meeting you, Agent Callen."

"Me too." As he clicked off the phone, he couldn't help but think that he was already lying to this woman before he had even had the chance to meet her in person.

xxxxx

Rachel Cranston sat in her rental car outside the home where she was to meet Agent Callen. She was an attractive 59-year-old woman, slender, with shoulder length wavy brown hair. Having arrived a little bit early, she scanned through her files one more time. What little information she had on Agent Callen had told her to be prepared for a challenge. Gibbs had given her some background on his friend and she had read through his records, but she already had a feeling that he was going to test her abilities to their fullest. Thirty seven foster homes was remarkable in itself, but it was what might have happened to him in those homes that concerned her and there really wasn't a whole lot of information available about his past. His current situation was precarious enough, and she had a hard time believing he had come through the foster care system unscathed. Stepping out of the car, she took a deep breath and headed up the walkway to meet her newest patient.

xxxxx

 _Note that this story is set between season 7 and 8 which is why Sam & Callen haven't reached their 10_ _th_ _anniversary yet, which would have been in February (wish the show had acknowledged that, but I digress ;) )_


	60. Chapter 60

_Thanks to Alabama, French Fan and Skippy who I couldn't reply to personally. Alabama, I'm going on the assumption that there's just not a lot there in Callen's files. Nate and Hetty had spoken about that early on in the series and for story line purposes, I'm assuming that hasn't changed. French Fan, I loved "Hidden Figures" too! Best movie I had seen in a long time :)_

 _Okay, I'm pretty nervous about this chapter. Please take into account that my psych knowledge is extremely limited except for what I've researched. I'm sure there will be inaccuracies along the way, but I'm doing the best I can in trying to make this at least somewhat believable._

 _As always, thanks to all of you who have been and still are supporting this story. I appreciate it more than I can say._

xxxxx

Callen did not sleep well.

He lost count of the number of times he awoke during the night. No matter how hard he tried to mentally distract himself, he found that he couldn't stop thinking about his upcoming appointment with Rachel Cranston. He truly envied people who were able to easily talk about their feelings and their pasts. He just had never been one of those people and he knew he never would be. There were some parts of his past that he couldn't even face himself, never mind try to talk about those things to other people. At a little after seven, he finally got out of bed, having given up on getting any real rest. His head was throbbing, probably from either the lack of sleep or the stress of the upcoming day, maybe a little bit of both.

He went downstairs and after leaving a note on the kitchen countertop saying he had gone for a walk, he headed out. The fresh air felt good and even though it was the beginning of rush hour, Kensi and Deeks lived on a relatively quiet street so there wasn't much traffic. He walked for about a mile and then started back towards the house. When he returned, he found Deeks sitting on the sofa in the living room.

"Good morning," Callen said. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Deeks shook his head. "No. How are you doing? Did you have a nice walk?"

Callen shrugged. "Yeah, it was fine…how are you?"

"No complaints," Deeks said. He couldn't help but notice how tired Callen looked, though that seemed to be a constant these days. "Did you sleep well?"

"No, not really," Callen admitted.

"I know you're not going to believe me, but it's probably not going to be that bad," Deeks said.

Callen smirked. "Easy for you to say. You like talking about yourself."

Deeks shook his head. "Not to shrinks, Callen, not so much."

Callen sighed and sat down on the chair across from Deeks. "What are you and Kens up to today?" he asked. "Anything exciting?"

"I don't know," Deeks said. "I'll see what she would like to do. It's still difficult though because she can't really go places where we'd have to do a lot of walking and I'm not cleared to do surfing or anything like that. Plus, I haven't been as diligent as I could be with the exercises the physical therapist gave me."

"I hear you on that," Callen admitted. "I haven't been doing the breathing exercises as much as I should be either."

Deeks looked at the other man with concern. "You probably shouldn't be messing with those, Callen."

"Yeah, I know."

Deeks was about to say more, but knowing what was ahead for the other man that morning, he decided to cut him a break. Callen had enough to worry about without Deeks nagging at him about breathing exercises. "So you feel like eating some breakfast?" he asked after a short silence. He felt like he was always nagging Callen about eating as well, but he was noticeably thinner than he had been before the plane crash and really needed to put some weight back on.

"I'll eat later," Callen replied quietly. He couldn't even begin to think about food right then. His stomach was so jumbled up, he actually thought he'd be in danger of throwing up if he tried to eat anything.

Deeks nodded. "You want to watch something on tv?" he asked. "Maybe it would make the time pass faster for you."

Callen shook his head. "I don't really know if I want the time to pass faster, Deeks," he admitted. What he really wanted was to put the appointment off indefinitely. He knew it was happening, but he still didn't particularly want to face it. Right then, flying off to a deserted island somewhere definitely had its appeal.

"Come on, Callen, maybe you should watch something just to try to distract yourself," Deeks said. "You're going to twist yourself up into knots if you keep obsessing about this."

"I'm not obsessing, Deeks. There's a difference between thinking about and obsessing."

In this case, Deeks didn't think there was much difference at all, but he decided not to push Callen's buttons. "Okay, well I'm going to go upstairs and see if Kensi is awake yet. See you in a bit." Deeks then headed upstairs and quietly entered his and Kensi's bedroom. He sat on the bed then crawled under the covers beside her.

"Mmm…good morning," Kensi said, smiling with her eyes still closed. "Where did you go off to?"

"Nowhere, I was just downstairs with Callen," Deeks said. "You want to go out for breakfast?"

"Sure," Kensi opened her eyes and looked at Deeks. "You okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I'm alright," Deeks said. "I just feel like getting out of here."

"Is Callen okay?" she continued to press.

"He's more nervous than a really fat turkey on Thanksgiving. I don't think I've ever seen him like this, Kens…Callen doesn't do nervous. I've seen him face off against all kinds of dangerous criminals without a trace of nerves. This is an entirely different side to him."

"He's only human, Deeks," Kensi said. "We all have our crosses to bear…"

"I know you're right…I just have a hard time seeing him this way. So what do you say to breakfast?" Deeks asked. "I don't think I want to be here when this woman shows up and I'm sure he wants us to be here even less, though he would never ask us to leave."

Kensi nodded. "Okay, whatever you want, Deeks. Just let me take a shower and get dressed and we'll get out of here."

"Thanks, Kensi," Deeks said, looking somewhat relieved. He and Kensi being gone would make things easier on Callen. At least he hoped that would be the case.

xxxxx

Kensi and Deeks left the house at about quarter to 10. Deeks had wanted Callen to know he'd have the house to himself, but hadn't wanted to leave him on his own for too long before his appointment. He was beginning to understand a little bit more why Sam was so overprotective at times.

Once Kensi and Deeks left the house, Callen paced around like a madman. No matter how much he tried to calm down, he was still a nervous wreck. He picked up various knickknacks that were placed around the house, nervously held and turned the items around in his hands, and then placed them back where they belonged. A part of him wished he had taken Deeks up on his offer for breakfast earlier because then he could have washed the dishes. He almost was to the point of taking clean dishes from the cabinets and rewashing them, but he knew that would be crazy and he wasn't quite that far gone yet.

When the doorbell rang, be froze momentarily, his heart beating out of control. "You can do this," he told himself. "You need to calm down and just get it over with." Taking a deep breath, he licked his lips and walked to the door then opened it.

"Agent Callen?" Rachel asked. She knew it was him from the photograph in his file, but didn't want to seem too presumptuous. "I'm Rachel Cranston." She extended her hand to him. "It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Agent Callen," he said, as he took her hand and managed to pull off a smooth smile. "It's good to meet you too. Please come in."

"Thank you."

"Take a seat, wherever you'd like," Callen said as he led Rachel into the living room. He observed her closely, curious to see where she would sit. "Can I get you some coffee or tea?"

"Coffee would be great. Just black," Rachel said as she took a seat on the sofa. She smiled at him, trying to put him at ease. The tension he was feeling was very obvious to her.

Callen walked into the kitchen and got Rachel a cup of coffee while he got himself a bottle of water. He was already jittery enough without adding caffeine into the mix. He went back into the living room and handed Rachel her coffee then sat down in his customary chair across from the sofa.

"So, is there anything you'd like to know about me before we begin?" she asked.

"Gibbs said you were very good at what you do," Callen said, looking at her but then focusing on the floor. "I trust him…"

"But I'm getting the impression you'd rather be in a dentist's chair getting a root canal," she commented.

Callen shook his head as he nervously nibbled on his lower lip. "This…this just isn't my thing," he admitted, forcing himself to look back at her. "I'm not into the whole shrink, opening up my heart thing...no offense."

"None taken," she said, looking at him in barely disguised amusement. "So, basically you're doing this because you have to?"

He sighed. "I do have to…I mean it's a condition for me to be cleared to go back to work, but…I have to for me too…" he admitted reluctantly.

"Because?"

He shifted in his chair and took the cap off his water bottle then took a long sip before focusing his attention on her again. "I've been having nightmares…" He felt it was the least threatening place to start. At least he hoped it was. He had no idea about these kinds of things. Nightmares seemed generic enough. Lots of people had nightmares. He still hated to admit it though. It made him feel somehow like less of a man. It wasn't as bad as being afraid of the dark though. He wasn't ready to admit that.

"Since the plane crash?" she asked softly.

He shook his head. "I don't know…I was pretty sick after the plane crash because I was stabbed. I might have had nightmares then, but…they may have just been because I was sick."

"You were stabbed?" Rachel asked in surprise. That hadn't been in his records. As a matter of fact, based on his history, his records were very skimpy. She was pretty sure they had been deliberately and carefully redacted, but by whom and for what purpose, she had no idea.

Callen nodded. "Long story short, it was a guy from my past. He stabbed me and then shot out the controls, which is what caused the crash. Oh yeah, he also blew his brains out before we hit the ground."

It was obvious to Rachel that Callen was keeping his emotions tightly under control as he calmly recited the facts surrounding the crash. "That can't have been a very easy thing to go through," she stated. "No wonder you're having nightmares."

It would have been simple to let it end there, and Callen almost did, but he knew that wasn't why he was having nightmares and he knew he had to try to put a stop to them if possible. "I don't think that's why," he said.

"No?"

He took another sip of water and slowly shook his head. "No…After we were rescued, I was abducted from the hospital and…and I was sealed up in an abandoned mine. I…I think that's why…"

Rachel could see from Callen's eyes that he had lost some of the tight control he'd been trying to keep over himself. "That sounds terrifying," she said.

Callen stood up and began to pace, taking short steps in the too small living room space. "Sorry," he said as he forced himself to sit back down on the chair. He picked up the water bottle and rolled it, back and forth, between his hands.

"What are you sorry for?" Rachel asked, her tone gentle.

"I know I'm supposed to sit."

"You do?" Rachel asked. "There are no rules to this. If you want to walk around, feel free to do so. If you'd like to do this at another location, that's fine too, a coffee shop, the beach, a park. Whatever you're most comfortable with. I want this to be as easy as it can be on you. Speaking of that, we kind of fast forwarded at the beginning of our conversation. What would you like me to call you? Grisha?"

Callen quickly shook his head. "No. Just Callen. Callen's good."

Rachel nodded. "Okay, Callen. You can call me Rachel. Now, are you sure you don't have any questions for me? Nothing at all you'd like to know?"

"How…how long do you think this will take?" he asked.

"You mean today?" she asked him.

"No," he shook his head. "I mean, how many sessions in a week? I know you don't know how long it will take for me to be better, but how many times a week should I see you?"

"Well, considering you're my only patient here in Los Angeles, I thought we could see each other every day."

His eyes widened in what Rachel could only term to be a look of horror. "Every day?" he asked, shaking his head. "I…I've never even heard of that. Isn't it usually once or twice, possibly three times a week? How crazy did Gibbs tell you I was? I…I've hardly even talked to you and…and you think I need to see you every day? Seven days a week? That's unheard of, unless…unless you think I'm certifiable."

"Callen, please calm down," Rachel said, trying to soothe the distraught man. "I certainly don't think you're crazy and we don't have to do this every day if you don't want to. I wasn't including weekends, but we can do it less. I just assumed you'd want to try to accelerate things, if we could, since I came out here from D.C., but it's entirely up to you. I'm certainly not trying to make things difficult for you."

"I just…I'm not used to this." He stared down at the floor, looking lost.

"But I saw in your records that it's not the first time you've spoken to a psychologist," Rachel said, trying to get him back on firmer ground. "You spoke to a Nate Getz before?"

"Yeah, I used to talk to Nate," Callen said, still not looking at her.

"But you didn't find him helpful?"

"I didn't need his help," Callen said, facing her again, this time with a challenging look in his eyes. "I strung him along, told him what he wanted to hear, avoided, evaded, sidestepped, basically did everything I could not to talk to him."

"Oh…" Rachel stared back at him, momentarily at a loss for words. He sounded almost proud of how he had been able to turn the tables on this Nate. She wondered exactly what she had gotten herself into. Then again, Gibbs had wanted her to do this. He had to have believed she could help him. "So…if he was so easy to manipulate, why didn't you choose to see him now?"

"I just didn't," he said.

"So…is this one of those times when you're trying to evade me?" Rachel asked.

"No. Nate water boarded me," Callen stated impetuously, deciding not to beat around the bush.

"What?" Rachel looked at him incomprehensively. He couldn't mean what she thought he meant. "Is that some kind of a code?"

Callen couldn't help but smirk. He could tell he'd finally succeeded in shocking her and he liked that at least momentarily, he had the power in the room. "It's not a code. You know what water boarding is, don't you? He was on an undercover case, he kidnapped me, then he and his cohorts water boarded me. He also threw around confidential things I'd told him in the past like they meant nothing!" Now he was angry and he didn't try to hide it. "I wasn't going to talk to him after that. He didn't respect what I told him. He didn't respect me and I don't trust him." He sighed, deflated as he hung his head.

Rachel stared at him, surprised by all that he'd just revealed. She certainly hadn't expected that. "I'll never do that to you," she said quietly. "I promise that I'll never reveal anything that you say to me in confidence, unless you give me permission to do so."

Callen raised his head and looked at her, his blue eyes filled with emotion. "He didn't even think anything of what he did. He didn't care…he barely apologized for it."

"That was very wrong of him," Rachel said gently, shaking her head. "He never should have betrayed your trust that way."

Callen sighed heavily. "I knew it bothered me, but I still considered trying to work with him. I guess I didn't really realize just how much it did bother me. Because I used to trust him in the past and…it's a hard lesson when you realize you can no longer trust someone you used to trust."

"It is a hard lesson," Rachel said, nodding in agreement.

"I…I don't trust a lot of people…" he admitted quietly.

She wasn't surprised to hear him say that, based on his history of a childhood spent in foster homes where God only knew what he had gone through. However, she wasn't ready to go there yet and was relatively sure that he wasn't ready either. They needed to start with baby steps. "Trust can be difficult to establish sometimes. But, surely you have some people you feel you can trust?"

Callen nodded. "I trust my partner, Sam. I trust him more than anyone in the world. I'd give my life for him and I know he'd do the same, though I would never want him to do that."

Rachel looked back at Callen, unsure if he knew just how much he was telling her. There was certainly a lot going on behind his blue eyes. "Are there others you trust?" she asked softly.

"I trust Kensi and Deeks. They're part of my team…this is their house. I've been staying with them."

"And your boss? Hetty?"

He hesitated, unsure of how to answer her question. "Hetty…she's complicated," he began. "I owe her a lot and sometimes I feel like I can trust her, but then other times, something will happen and she'll react in a way that just shocks the hell out of me and makes me question my feelings about her."

"She does sound complicated," Rachel commented.

He nodded. He'd said much more than he'd wanted or expected to and now he was pretty much worn out.

Rachel looked at Callen thoughtfully. He looked exhausted and she didn't want to completely drain him on their first session. "Why don't we talk a little bit about your nightmares," she suggested. "How often do you have them?"

"I have them almost every night," he said, looking distressed.

"Are they usually the same or are they different?"

"I don't always remember them, but I'll wake up screaming or afraid," he said. "They vary…sometimes they're different…a…a lot of them take place in the dark…"

Rachel nodded. "One technique I've had success with is called IRT or image rehearsal therapy. What I'd like you to do as a homework assignment is jot down a brief description of a recent nightmare, one that's not too upsetting to you. Then, think of some way to change the nightmare so that you no longer find it threatening. Change it however you'd like. Take a few minutes each day to think about this altered version of the dream. Paint a mental image of it and concentrate on the revised version."

Callen looked at Rachel doubtfully. "Really? That can help?"

"Believe it or not, it can be very successful. In any case, it won't hurt to try, will it?"

"No…no, I guess not," he said agreeably.

"Okay, I think we're all set for today then," Rachel said with a smile. "When do you think we should meet again?" she asked, thinking it wise to let Callen have some control over their sessions.

Callen thought about it for a few moments. "I guess...I guess tomorrow's fine," he said after a bit of hesitation.

"Good," Rachel said. "Does 10 a.m. work for you or should we try a different time?"

"Ten is good," Callen said.

"And do you want to meet here again or somewhere else?"

"The beach," Callen said decisively. He didn't want to be continuously kicking Kensi and Deeks out of their house. "I'll have someone bring me to get my car today." After all, there was no reason why he shouldn't be able to drive. No one had ever specifically forbidden him from doing so and it would give him a bit of the independence that he craved.

"You'll have to tell me where," Rachel said, passing him a small notepad and pen.

Callen took the pad and quickly scribbled down where she should go then passed the pad back to her.

"I think we're off to a good beginning," Rachel said as she gathered her things together and stood up. "You did well today."

"Thanks," Callen said, feeling uncharacteristically shy as he walked her to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Callen," Rachel said.

"Bye, Rachel." He watched as she walked down the walkway to her car and then quietly closed the door. He then went back into the living room and wearily slumped down on the sofa, relieved to have gotten through psych session number one.


	61. Chapter 61

_Thanks for all your comments on the previous chapter. Sorry this one is a little bit late. It's another one of those transitional chapters and I couldn't find a good place to end it. It kind of just went on and on ;)_

xxxxx

When Kensi and Deeks returned home, Kensi was the first to spot Callen, fast asleep on the sofa. She put her finger up to her lips and pointed so that Deeks would remain quiet. Deeks took the bag containing the food they had brought for Callen and put it into the refrigerator then he and Kensi went upstairs as quietly as they could.

"I guess Callen's session must have gone well," Kensi said after Deeks had closed the door to their bedroom.

Deeks nodded. "I'd say you're right." He couldn't imagine Callen would be relaxed enough to sleep if it had gone poorly. "I'm glad something has finally gone well for him."

Kensi nodded. "Me too. It's about time he got a break."

"So I guess we're stuck up here for a while," Deeks said.

"We could go out again, go to a movie or something," Kensi suggested.

"Or we could just hang up here," Deeks said with a grin and raising his eyebrows, making his meaning obvious.

"Yes, I suppose we could do that," Kensi said as he wrapped his arms around her.

xxxxx

Callen slept solidly for two hours. When he woke up, the headache he had awoken with that morning was gone as was the feeling of heavy exhaustion he had been experiencing. He thought back to his session with Rachel and couldn't help but feel pretty good about it. Maybe things were actually going to go better than he had thought. He remembered that Sam had asked that he give him a call after his appointment so he pulled out his cell phone and hit Sam's name on his phone.

"Hey G," Sam said, answering before the phone had even rung fully.

Callen couldn't help but chuckle. "Have you just been desperately waiting for my call, Sam?" he asked.

"Very funny. Of course, not," Sam replied. "I just happened to have been holding my phone when it rang. So, did you meet with the psychologist?"

"I did."

"And? Come on, G. Don't play with me."

"And…it went pretty well, Sam, better than I thought it would go anyway."

"Yeah? That's great news, G…really great. So what are you up to now?"

"Nothing," Callen said with a shrug. "Kensi and Deeks are out and I actually just woke up from a nap."

"You feel like coming with me to Home Depot?"

"Is this another Sam Hanna do it yourself project?" Callen asked, smiling.

"Kam needs a new desk for her room. The one she has is kind of babyish, or so she says. She wants something more grownup, better suited for a teenager."

Callen shook his head. "Really, Sam? A desk? Why don't we go to a furniture store and look at ones that are…you know…already built?"

"Do you know how much money some of those are?" Sam asked. "Trust me, I can make something of good quality for a fraction of the price."

"Whatever you say, big guy," Callen said. "What time do you want to pick me up?"

"I'll be there in a half hour."

"Okay…I'll be here."

xxxxx

Callen was sitting on the sofa, waiting for Sam, when he heard a sound from upstairs. At first he thought it was Monty, but the dog was sleeping in the corner of the living room. There couldn't be anyone in the house, because if there was, Monty would react, wouldn't he? Then again, he hadn't even budged when Rachel had arrived earlier. He got up and went to the window and saw both Kensi's and Deeks' vehicles both parked outside.

"They're home?" he said to himself. Had he really been that sound asleep when they returned? Obviously, he had been. His agent skills were definitely lacking these days. If he really analyzed his situation objectively, he was nowhere near being ready to go back to work. He couldn't help feeling discouraged by that, but it was something he was going to have to deal with for now.

He scribbled a note for Kensi and Deeks and left it on the kitchen countertop then went back to waiting for Sam. When he saw him pull up from the window, he quickly went outside and walked over to the Challenger. "Hey, Sam," Callen said as he got into the car beside his partner.

"Hi, G…You don't look any worse for wear," Sam said, looking at his partner. "So, what's she like?"

"She…" Callen thought about how to describe her, then just shrugged. "She seems nice. I didn't find it too difficult to talk to her, I guess…"

Sam nodded. "Well that's pretty high praise coming from you."

"Yeah…"

Sam decided not to pry anymore. What happened in those sessions was confidential. Sam just hoped this woman was good and that she would be able to get his partner back to his normal self.

"So, Sam…can you do me a favor?" Callen asked.

"Sure, whatever you want," Sam replied.

"Can we go to just one furniture store?" Callen asked, grinning. "Maybe, just maybe, you'll see something that we can just buy instead of you taking on a huge project."

Sam shook his head. "It won't be a huge project, G."

"You said whatever I want," Callen said, giving Sam an innocent smile.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine, G. One furniture store, but then I just may recruit you into helping me with the desk."

Callen nodded. "Sure, I can do that. Let's just take a look though."

xxxxx

A short while later, Callen and Sam found themselves walking through a furniture store, browsing through the various pieces of furniture. "You're so gung ho for me to be buying furniture," Sam groused good-naturedly, "but I don't see you buying anything."

"I have what I need," Callen said with a smirk. "Trust me, if I did decide I needed something new, I'd buy it. I wouldn't build it."

"That's because you can't," Sam said. "You don't understand the sense of self-fulfillment you get from taking on a project like that and completing it."

"You sound like Gibbs," Callen said. "He's always building boats and God only knows what else in his basement."

"Don't knock it until you try it, G," Sam said.

"I've taken apart your toaster before, Sam," Callen said. "And put it back together perfectly. That gave me a sense of accomplishment."

"And it gave me burnt toast," Sam said, smirking.

They stopped at the desk section and began to look at the variety of floor models on display. "What color does she want?" Callen asked. "I'm guessing princess pink is a thing of the past?"

Sam chuckled. "Princess pink is being put out to pasture."

"That's kind of sad, actually," Callen said. "Time passes so quickly. Remember when she was having princess birthday parties?"

"Tell me about it," Sam said, nodding in agreement. "Sometimes, I really miss those days."

"Can I help you gentlemen?" A petite and perky saleswoman came up to them, smiling brightly.

"We're looking for a desk," Callen answered quickly before Sam could blow the woman off.

"You've certainly come to the right place!" The woman enthused with a giggle. Callen smirked and cast a sidelong look at his partner who did not seem amused. "Do you have any particular style in mind?"

"It's for a young teenage girl," Callen replied. "She wants something more grownup than what she has now."

"Oh they grow up so fast, don't they?" the woman said to Callen. "That's so sweet that her two dads are looking for something for her. She didn't want to pick something out herself?"

"Well, it's going to be a surprise," Callen said, more than a little bit amused by the woman's assumption. He wrapped his arm around Sam's back and patted his shoulder affectionately. "This big guy wants to try to build something for her, but I twisted his arm into coming here to take a look around."

"Well, building something is definitely one way to go," the saleswoman said, "but I think many of our features and details go beyond what a homemade project offers."

"Oh, I think so too," Callen said, smiling. "So can you show us some models that might be appropriate?"

"Right this way, gentleman," she said, walking in front of them.

"I'm going to kill you, G," Sam whispered in Callen's ear. "Slowly and torturously."

"You know you love me," Callen said, grinning at his partner. "It's not going to hurt to take a look."

They followed along after the saleswoman and neither man liked the first two desks she showed them but Callen was immediately entranced by the third one. "Oh Sam, this one is great," he said. Sam looked at his partner suspiciously, but the look in G's eyes told him he was no longer playing around which caused him to look at the desk more seriously. He had to admit it was very nice.

"This is one of our most popular models," the saleswoman began. "As you can see, it has the appearance of a vintage desk, but it's been modernized with plenty of storage options for books and supplies. The hutch is optional, but I really think it completes this perfectly."

"It is very nice," Sam said, weighing the options.

Just then, Callen looked at the price tag and his eyes widened. "Uh…actually, I think this may be a little bit out of our price range," he said, pointing out the price to his partner.

"It is 25 percent off the ticket price."

"Even so…" Callen shook his head then turned to the saleswoman. "Do you mind if we discuss this for a minute?"

"Oh, of course, take your time," she said as she walked away from them.

"Sam, let's get out of here," Callen said. "I was teasing you before. This place is too expensive. Let's go to Ikea. Best of both worlds. We can get something that will look good and you can put it together too. It'll be much less expensive than this place. I'll help you."

"I don't know, G…it's really nice…"

"If Kam ends up going to the military academy, she won't even be home a lot of the time," Callen said. "How much will she use it? Really, Sam, this place is above our pay grade. Michelle will kill you. Let's go."

"Alright," Sam said, still appearing a little bit reluctant.

"So, have we decided?" the saleswoman asked as she approached them again.

"Yeah, um, I'm sorry," Callen said. "These really are kind of out of our price range. We're going to have to find a less expensive option."

"No problem," the woman said as she handed Callen a business card. "If you change your mind…"

"Okay, thank you," Callen said as he and Sam high-tailed it out of the store.

"You see what happens when you go into places like that, G?" Sam said, laughing as they walked back to the Challenger.

"You're the one who was almost going to buy that desk, Sam," Callen said.

"And who pointed it out to me in the first place?"

"I didn't think you'd have to go into debt just to buy the stupid thing."

"We can go to Ikea, but if there's nothing there, we are going to Home Depot and you're going to help me build a desk from scratch."

"Fine, Sam."

As it turned out, Callen and Sam did find a pretty nice desk at Ikea. Although it was much less fancy than the one at the furniture store, it was nice enough and had a hutch and some storage space. Best of all, it was only a quarter of the price of the other one.

"So, when are we going to make this?" Callen asked after they had gotten the boxes into the Challenger.

Sam looked at his partner. "Don't worry about it, G. I can do it myself."

"What?" Callen asked, looking at Sam quizzically. "Why? Don't you want my help? Do you really think I'm that hopeless?"

Sam shook his head. "No, it's not that, G. I just don't want you to hurt yourself. You're still recovering. You shouldn't have even been helping with these boxes. I'm sorry…I wasn't thinking…"

Callen smiled a bit incredulously at his partner. "Oh come on, Sam. I didn't hurt myself. I'm fine. Anyhow, trust me when I say, you were carrying most of the weight just now. I was barely lifting anything."

"Even so…" Sam said doubtfully.

"I can hammer and nail things, Sam. I can screw things together or whatever we need to do to make this."

"Alright, G, but no more lifting. I'll carry the stuff inside."

Callen rolled his eyes, but nodded. "Fine, Sam. No more lifting."

xxxxx

"Kam texted me and asked if she could go to Bridget's after school," Michelle said, watching in amusement as Sam and Callen worked on the desk. "I told her to go ahead so you don't have to rush."

"These screw holes aren't lining up properly," Sam said to Callen who was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. Sam had moved Kam's pink desk into Aiden's room for the time being. Michelle was going to put up an ad on Craigslist for a free desk so they assumed it would be claimed quickly as it was in excellent condition.

"Maybe we need to drill new holes?" Callen asked. Although he wouldn't admit it, putting this desk together was tiring him out more than he would have expected.

"I don't know," Sam said, looking at the piece in question dubiously. "I don't want to ruin anything."

"Maybe you guys should take a little break," Michelle said.

Sam shook his head. "No, we're okay."

"No, Sam. I really think you should," Michelle said more insistently, causing Sam to look at her questioningly. Once she had her husband's attention, Michelle sent a pointed look in Callen's direction. "Did you guys even eat lunch when you were out?"

Sam sighed softly to himself. He hadn't even thought about lunch. He wondered if G had eaten anything today. "Come on, G, I'm starved. Let's go have a sandwich or something," Sam said.

Callen's eyes went from Sam to Michelle and it was obvious what they were doing, but he actually was tired and hungry so he didn't make a fuss. "A sandwich sounds good," he said as he got up off the floor.

The two men followed Michelle into the kitchen. "Just sit down and I'll get you something," Michelle said. "So, how are you doing, Callen?" she asked as she got some deli meats from the refrigerator.

"I'm doing pretty well, thanks," Callen said.

"That's good. I have to say we miss having you here," she said. "I know Kam misses you too. You should come by more often."

"Well, I'm going to have my car back today," Callen said, "so I won't have to depend on everybody chauffeuring me around. That should make things easier."

"You are?" Sam asked, looking at his friend questioningly. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I was going to ask if you could bring me by my house later so I can pick it up."

"Did Hetty say it was okay?" Sam asked.

Callen narrowed his eyes at his partner. "I didn't ask Hetty's permission, Sam. She's not my keeper, even if she may think she is. Why wouldn't it be okay? No one ever specifically said I couldn't drive."

"I know, G, but…"

Callen shook his head in annoyance. "Forget it, Sam. I'll have Deeks bring me later. Don't worry about it."

"I didn't say I wouldn't bring you, G."

"It's okay, Sam. I wouldn't want you to get on Hetty's bad side," Callen said a little sarcastically. "Especially because you'll be team leader when you go back to work."

Sam stared back at his partner, mentally noting the little dig.

"Here are your sandwiches." Michelle placed the two plates on the table with a bag of chips as she tried to dissolve the tension that had popped up between her husband and her partner. She then headed into the living room thinking how men really did act like little boys much of the time.

The two men ate in silence for a bit until Callen decided to give in, not wanting to be at odds with his friend. "I'm sorry, Sam," he said quietly. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I guess I'm a little irritable today."

"I'm sorry, too, G," Sam said, grinning at his partner. "I'm a little bit testy today, as well."

The two men laughed and the tension was gone as quickly as it had sprung up between them. They finished their lunch and then went back to putting the desk together with renewed energy. It didn't take long at all before it was completely assembled.

"It looks good," Callen said, standing back and looking at the finished product admiringly.

"You have that feeling of accomplishment I was telling you about earlier?" Sam asked his partner.

"Something like that," Callen said with a smile.

"Come on, let's go out into the living room and wait for Kam to get home."

"All finished?" Michelle asked as Sam and Callen entered the room. Her husband sat beside her on the sofa as Callen made himself comfortable in his favorite chair.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, it's all set. I hope she likes it."

"Of course she'll like it," Michelle said, smiling lovingly at her husband.

"It's nothing like the fancy one we saw in the furniture store," Sam said. "That one was pretty amazing…but so was the price."

"Sam, you know she doesn't need something like that," Michelle said. "This one will suit her needs perfectly. She's never been the type of child who longs for expensive things. She just wants something more grown up."

Sam nodded. "I know you're right. It's just sometimes it would be nice to be able to buy anything we wanted without having to consider the price tag."

"Well, that's not the real world, not for us anyway."

"No…that's for sure." He glanced over at Callen who appeared to be dozing. "I think he may have overdone it," he said, lowering his voice.

"I think he's okay," Michelle said as she rested her head on Sam's shoulder. "It's probably good for him to do things as long as he's not doing heavy lifting or overexerting himself."

"Deeks thinks that too…he lets him do little chores around the house."

"I think Deeks is right," Michelle said, a smile touching her lips.

"Did you hear what he said earlier?" Sam asked, his eyes appearing troubled. "About me being team leader when we go back to work? I think it's bothering him."

"He knows it's not permanent though," Michelle raised her head off Sam's shoulder and directed her gaze to her husband. "You've taken over the team other times when he's been on assignment or injured."

Sam nodded. "I know that, but…I still don't think he's all that convinced he's going to be able to return to work."

"It's just going to take time, Sam," Michelle said. "He has to be patient."

"Yeah…unfortunately patience isn't his strong point."

"Well, I don't think he has a choice this time."

The conversation stopped as the front door opened and Kam came inside, slamming it behind her. Callen immediately awoke and yawned as Kam came into the living room. "Uncle Callen!" she shouted gleefully as she ran over to him. "I didn't know you were here. Are you feeling better?" She gently hugged him, remembering to be careful of his injuries.

"I am feeling better," he said, returning her hug and smiling at her. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good. I finished my homework at Bridget's house so that makes me very happy."

"Well then I'm very happy for you."

"Thank you." She turned towards her parents. "Bridget's mom invited me for dinner, but I decided to come home instead."

Michelle gave her daughter a knowing look. "Were they having something you didn't like?"

Kamran grinned. "They were having spaghetti, but I don't like the sauce Bridget's mom makes. It's nothing like yours. It's always watery. What are we having for dinner tonight?"

"Oven fried chicken," Michelle said with a smile.

"Yay! I definitely made the right choice."

"So, baby girl. We have a little surprise for you," Sam said, finally managing to get a word in.

That immediately got Kamran's attention and she ran over to Sam. "What kind of a surprise?" she asked, her eyes shining with excitement.

"It's in your bedroom," Michelle said. "Daddy and Uncle Callen put it together for you."

"Can I go see it now?" Kamran asked.

"Let us go first, Kam." Sam said as he beckoned his partner. "Come on, G." The three adults went ahead of Kamran so they could see her expression when she saw the desk.

"Can I come in now?" Kam asked, hopping from one foot to the other in the hallway.

"Yes, you can come in," Michelle said, chuckling at her daughter's antics.

Kamran came into the room and her expression was one of pure delight when she saw the desk. "Oh! I love it!" she exclaimed enthusiastically. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She went and hugged her father, her mother and then Callen. "It's perfect!" She went over to it and examined it more closely. I love all the shelves. I can put so many things here."

"I'm going to go start on dinner," Michelle said. "Enjoy your desk, sweetheart."

"Thank you, mom!"

Kamran went and sat on her desk chair and spun around in it. "This was such a nice surprise. Was it hard to put together?"

"Not too hard," Sam said.

"Thank you for helping my dad," Kamran said, smiling at Callen. "It was very nice of you."

"It was my pleasure, Kamran," Callen said, returning her smile. "Your dad did most of it though."

"That's not true, baby girl," Sam said. "Uncle Callen was very helpful."

"It almost makes me sad that my homework is done… but not really," Kamran said with a grin.

"Well, we'll leave you alone to get organized," Sam said. "Come on, G."

The two men left Kamran alone with her new desk and went back to the living room. "I guess I should maybe get going," Callen said.

"Aren't you going to stay for dinner?" Michelle asked, coming into the living room from the kitchen, having overheard him.

"Uh..."

"Sure he's going to stay," Sam said, wrapping his arm around Callen's shoulders. "Aren't you, G?"

Callen nodded. "Yeah, I'll stay," he said with a smile. "Thanks for inviting me."

"You know you're welcome any time, Callen," Michelle said with a smile before heading back into the kitchen.

"I'm just going to text Deeks to let him know I won't be there for dinner," Callen said as he pulled out his phone.

xxxxx

Dinner went well and the rest of the evening passed quickly. At a little after eight, Sam could see that Callen appeared exhausted and he decided he'd better get him home. "Come on, G," he said. "It's getting late."

Callen nodded as he got to his feet and Kamran ran over to him to give him another hug. "Thanks again, Uncle Callen. I hope you come to see us again soon."

"I will, Kam," Callen said, giving her an affectionate kiss on the top of her head. He then turned towards Michelle who gave him a hug. "Thanks for dinner, Michelle. It was delicious."

"Remember what I said, Callen, you're welcome any time."

"I know I am." Callen gave her a heartfelt hug and then he and Sam headed out.

xxxxx

"You don't need to do this, Sam," Callen said, realizing that Sam was headed in the direction of his house and not back to Kensi and Deeks' place.

"I know I don't, G. I want to." Sam couldn't resist a sidelong look at his partner. "You're okay to drive, aren't you? Not too tired?"

Callen smirked. "I'm fine, mom," he said. "I admit I'm a little bit tired, but not too tired to drive and it's not far anyway."

"Okay…I could follow along behind you."

Callen turned and stared at his overprotective partner.

"Sorry, G…just a thought. Don't worry. I won't do it."

"I'll call you when I get back to Kensi and Deeks' house if it makes you feel better," Callen relented.

Sam nodded. "Thanks. It would."

A short time later Sam pulled up in front of Callen's house. "You going inside?" he asked his partner.

"No," Callen said with a shake of his head. "I don't need anything."

"Okay…well good luck with your session tomorrow," Sam said. "I hope it goes as well as it did today."

"Thanks, Sam. Today was a good day," Callen said with a smile. "I'll give you a call tomorrow."

"And don't forget to call me when you get back," Sam said. He realized he was being a nag, but he couldn't help it. He worried about his partner, especially these days.

"I'll call you," Callen said with his trademark smirk. "Good night, Sam."

"Good night, G."

xxxxx

Callen watched as Sam drove away and seat belted himself into the driver's seat. He had to admit that it felt good to have his car back and to be able to drive again. It was another important step towards regaining his independence. He headed off in the direction of Kensi and Deeks' house, paying close attention to the road. He hadn't driven very far when a large dog suddenly scooted out in front of his car. He swerved to avoid it and then momentarily struggled before regaining control of his vehicle. "Damn," he said, his heart beating rapidly. Luckily, there was no one on the road behind him and he was exceptionally glad that Sam hadn't followed him. He definitely wouldn't be telling him what had happened. Finally, he pulled up in front of Kensi and Deeks' place and wearily headed inside. It had been a very long day, but a good one. Hopefully, tomorrow would be a good day too.


	62. Chapter 62

_Thanks for all the nice reviews for the last chapter. I love reading your thoughts and appreciate you sharing them_. :)

xxxxx

Callen awoke early the following morning feeling very well rested. As he sat up in bed, he came to the sudden realization that he hadn't had a nightmare. He smiled to himself as he got out of bed. Rachel's so-called homework assignment seemed to have helped. Either that or his day with Sam had played a part in it. Maybe it was a combination of things. Whatever it was, he was happy to have been nightmare-free for a change.

He took a shower, shaved and dressed then headed downstairs. He was surprised to see that Deeks and Kensi were already up. "Good morning," he said as he walked into the living room. "You two are up early."

"So are you," Deeks observed. "We never really got a chance to talk to you yesterday. How did everything go?" He and Kensi had decided to do dinner and a movie the previous night so hadn't been home when Callen returned from Sam's.

"It went pretty well, I guess," Callen said as he took a seat in the chair across from the sofa. "I'm seeing her today again. We're going to meet up at Venice Beach."

Deeks nodded. "Ah…we were wondering why your car was here."

"It's not a problem, is it?" Callen asked, looking worried. "I don't have to keep it here…"

"Callen, take it easy," Kensi said reassuringly. "Of course it's okay." She hated that he still seemed so unsure of certain things. Hopefully, he would soon be able to move past it.

"Okay…thanks," Callen said

"So what did you and Sam do all day?" Deeks asked.

"We went and got a desk for Kam then put it together."

"Yeah?" Deeks asked with interest. "You should have let me know. I would have helped."

"Because you're such a builder?" Kensi asked in amusement.

"No…Callen, you're not a builder, are you?" Deeks asked.

Callen shook his head. "Not even close. I just did whatever Sam told me to do. You know how he likes projects."

Deeks nodded. "So you're driving again? Did you tell Hetty?"

Callen paused then slowly shook his head. "No…"

"Well, don't worry about it, Callen," Deeks said with a chuckle. "I'm not going to tell her."

"Deeks…" Kensi said with a warning note in her voice.

"What?" Callen asked, looking at her, not bothering to hide his irritation. "Hetty doesn't have to know, Kensi."

Kensi sighed. "I just don't want you to get on her wrong side, Callen," she said. "You know how she can be sometimes."

"It's not like I'm going out joyriding," Callen said, shaking his head. "I'm going to an appointment, to see a psychologist who she ordered me to see. What's the problem?"

"Come on, Callen, don't get upset," Deeks said before he turned towards Kensi. "He's right, Kens. He has a right to drive. Hetty really shouldn't be telling him what to do. It can be a little much sometimes. He's a grown man."

"I know that, Deeks," Kensi replied. "I just don't want him to get in trouble."

"Oh for Pete's sake." Callen dug into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone then pressed the button for Hetty's number. He actually felt a tiny bit relieved when she didn't answer and he waited for the beep to leave a message. "Hi Hetty, its Callen. I'm just letting you know that I have my car so I'm able to drive myself to my appointment this morning and other places I need to go. I really didn't think it was necessary to let you know this, but some of my team members seem to think I should so I'm telling you. Thanks, Hetty. Have a nice day."

"I didn't think you had to tell her," Deeks defended himself after Callen clicked off his phone.

"No, but Sam did," Callen explained.

Deeks smirked. "He's probably just afraid Hetty's going to lock you up somewhere and he won't be able to find you."

"Well…that's probably not out of the realm of possibility," Callen said, smirking as well. "If that happens, I hope you two will help him find me."

"Definitely," Deeks said with a grin.

Just then, Callen's cell phone buzzed. "Shit," he said, looking down at it.

"What's the matter, Callen?" Deeks asked, fully amused by the situation. "We'll protect you if she comes here to take you away."

Callen took a deep breath and let it out before answering. "Good morning, Hetty."

"Good morning, Mr. Callen," Hetty said. "I got your message."

"Uh…well…that's good," Callen said.

"You really didn't seem to think it was good when you left it though," Hetty said. "You didn't think it was necessary to let me know you were driving?"

Callen sighed. "No, Hetty, actually I didn't."

"Well…in this case you were correct," Hetty said, reassuring him. "Although I do like to keep apprised of your activities, you appear to have been doing well and I do have a certain amount of trust in you. You wouldn't be team leader if I didn't."

"I'm not really team leader right now, Hetty," Callen said quietly, his eyes on Kensi and Deeks who were on their way to the kitchen, presumably to prepare breakfast.

"No, but I have faith that you will be again. How did things go with Ms. Cranston yesterday?"

"I think they went pretty well," Callen said. "I have another appointment at 10."

"Well, I won't keep you from that then," Hetty said. "Have a good day, Mr. Callen. Don't be a stranger."

"Thanks, Hetty. You have a good day too." Callen clicked off his phone and walked out into the kitchen.

"So, is she coming after you? Should I put Monty on alert?" Deeks asked, smiling as he looked up from the eggs he was preparing.

"I think I'm safe for now," Callen said with a slight smirk.

"Hungry?" Deeks asked.

Callen nodded. "Can I do anything?"

"You can grab some plates and glasses from the cabinet," Deeks said and you can make us some toast if you don't mind."

"Sure I can do that." Callen gathered up the necessary items and put four slices of bread into the toaster. "So what are you guys up to, today?"

Deeks shrugged. "Nothing that I'm aware of, Kens?"

Kensi shook her head. I don't have anything in mind either." She directed her attention to Callen. "Are you doing anything after your appointment?"

"I might go for a walk on the beach. I'll see how it goes, I guess."

Deeks nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. You want to hand me a plate? These are done."

The three friends ate their breakfast and when they were through, Callen did the dishes while Deeks and Kensi watched a morning show on t.v. "I'm going to get going," Callen said to them as he paused on his way out. "Give me a call if you need me to do anything."

"Will do, Callen. Good luck," Deeks said.

"See you later," Kensi said.

They watched as Callen headed out and then Deeks turned to look at Kensi. "Can you believe I'm actually a little nervous about him going out by himself?" he asked her, shaking his head. "I know it's crazy."

"It's not crazy, Deeks," Kensi said, smiling as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "He's been through a lot and we just feel kind of responsible for him."

"Man…if I feel like this with Callen, I can't imagine what it will be like to have kids…"

Kensi giggled. "I think it will actually be a lot worse. Callen's pretty self-sufficient."

"Yeah…hopefully everything will go well for him today," Deeks said, still feeling a little bit of anxiety.

xxxxx

Callen got to his suggested meeting place a little bit early and took a seat on the bench. It was a beautiful day and he was content to just sit, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.

"Hi Callen," Rachel said with a friendly smile as she approached him, a few minutes later. "I've got to say, this is a nice spot you picked out. It's beautiful here."

"Good morning, Rachel," Callen said, returning her smile. "This is one of my favorite places to come to. It's a good place for thinking."

"So, how are you today?" Rachel asked as she sat down beside him. She easily noticed that he didn't look as tired as he had looked the day before.

"I'm good. No nightmares last night."

"Really? That is good…" She was actually surprised to hear that. "Just so you know though, you really need to keep at it and try to internalize whatever you came up with to have long-lasting results."

"It might not have been entirely because of what you told me," Callen admitted. "I went out with my partner yesterday. We got a desk for his daughter and put it together. I was pretty tired last night and didn't really have time to dwell on things."

"I see," Rachel said with a nod. "Physical activity is good, taking walks, things like that. You should do it as often as you can, without overly taxing yourself."

Callen nodded, but he didn't appear to be giving her all his attention. Rachel suspected his thoughts were elsewhere. "Do you have something on your mind?" she asked him.

Callen sighed as he met her eyes. "Yeah, I kind of do…"

"Well, I might be pretty good at my job, but I haven't yet mastered mindreading, so you're going to have to help me out," Rachel said with a smile.

"Okay...today's Friday…"

Rachel gave him a puzzled look. "Yes, it is Friday…is that supposed to mean something to me?"

Callen quickly shook his head. "No, not to you, but it does to me."

"Okay…" Rachel remained silent, giving him a chance to go on, on his own.

"When we got back from Seattle, Hetty gave the entire team the week off…before going back to work on Monday."

"Uh huh," Rachel was still confused, unsure where he was going with this.

"So…they're all going to be going back to work on Monday."

"Oh, I see," Rachel said, nodding. "But you won't be…"

"Right, and over this past week, my team, well, to put it bluntly, they've pretty much been on babysitting duty. They're not going to be home anymore, so, I think I should be able to go home."

"You really think you're ready for that?" Rachel asked him, her tone gentle.

Callen nodded. "I do. I admit I've had issues and nightmares and stuff, but does it really matter if I'm at my teammates' homes or my own home? They're not going to be home anyway…"

"But they would be there at night…and that's when you have the majority of your issues, isn't it? They're not called daymares." She smiled, but Callen didn't.

"I'm ready to go home. I'm tired of being watched like a kid."

Rachel looked at him seriously. "I doubt that anyone is deliberately trying to make you feel that way."

"I know they're not," Callen admitted. "But I can't help feeling like that. Ever since all these things have happened to me, I haven't felt like myself. I really think I need a chance to get my independence back. I can't keep leaning on everyone the way I have been."

"I'd like to take another look at your records, perhaps have a chat with your physicians in Seattle…"

"Can't you just give me a chance?" he pleaded. "If it doesn't work, I'll go back to… well, someone's house."

"I don't know…" Rachel said. "Two sessions doesn't even give me a chance to know you, Callen and this is a big decision. It isn't one I can take lightly." She sat there quietly as she mulled over options. Mollycoddling him likely wasn't going to prove helpful, but neither would sending him home alone before he was ready.

"How about we have a session with your partner and the rest of your team?"

Callen looked at Rachel doubtfully. "Tomorrow is the weekend…I don't think we can really bother them on the weekend…Plus, you might have plans…"

Rachel smiled and shook her head. "I already told you that I'm willing to see you seven days a week if you'd agree to it. And you said yourself that your teammates have been home all week. I'm pretty sure they can spare an hour or two to discuss things. They're important to you, aren't they? Like family? I think it's crucial that I meet them. I'd like to get their input into this."

"Hetty too?" he asked with obvious reluctance.

"That's up to you…not if you don't want her to be there."

"I…I think I'd rather not."

Rachel nodded. She did want to meet up with the operations manager at some point, but wouldn't force the issue yet.

"Like I said…I don't really know if they can," Callen stalled, staring down at the ground and kicking at a stray pebble. He knew perfectly well that Sam, Kensi and Deeks would agree to coming to a session. He knew they'd do everything in their power to help him recuperate. He was the one who was unsure about it.

"Why don't you give them a call and find out?" Rachel suggested.

"Okay…I guess…"

Callen made the phone calls and as he suspected, everyone was eager to help him. "They can all make it," he said, unenthusiastically.

"These are your friends, Callen," Rachel said, looking at him sympathetically. "They're on your side."

"Yeah…I know…"

The rest of the session was mostly spent talking about his nightmares with a bit of small talk periodically as well. He was quieter than he had been the previous day, not as eager to participate. However, Rachel decided not to push him. She would give him a break for today and see what happened the following day when she met with his team. She was eager to see the dynamics of how they all interacted together. She was hopeful it would be an enlightening session that would give her more insight into her patient.


	63. Chapter 63

_I'm really sorry for the delays that have been happening with this one lately. I've had a hard time getting my head into it. Not too much happening here, but I wanted to get something out. Will be trying for a weekend update as well. We'll see how that goes. Thanks so much for your support._

xxxxx

Callen took a long walk on the beach after his therapy session. He wasn't at all happy that the team would be joining him for therapy the following day. Being the center of attention at a shrink's group session was not his idea of a good time. Not for the first time, he wished the plane had never crashed. He just wanted things to be back the way they were before everything had happened.

After his walk, Callen headed back to Kensi and Deeks' place, but he was quiet and sullen once he got there. Deeks finally suggested a movie and did not push Callen to attend when he declined. "We'll be back for dinner," Deeks informed him as he and Kensi headed out the door. Callen barely acknowledged their leaving. He was actually glad when they were gone so he could have the place to himself. What he really wanted though was to go home. He felt that he deserved some alone time and Kensi and Deeks did as well.

xxxxx

"Wow…what a difference a day makes," Deeks said as they headed towards his vehicle and he opened the door for Kensi. "Guess he didn't have a very good session today."

"I guess not," Kensi stated in agreement as she handed her crutches to Deeks and got into the car. "Or, he's upset about tomorrow."

Deeks put the crutches in the back seat and walked around to the driver's side door and got in. "I'm sure he's not at all thrilled about tomorrow," he said as he turned on the ignition and backed out of the driveway. "I can't really say I blame him. I wonder why she's already pushing a group session. It seems kind of soon to me."

"I don't know," Kensi said with a slight shrug. "We're not shrinks so how would we know?"

"I'm going to give Sam a call," Deeks said as he grabbed his cell phone and pressed Sam's number.

"Hey Deeks," Sam said, answering the phone quickly. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, except for Callen being kind of a grouch, he's fine."

Sam chuckled softly. "I would imagine he's not too happy about tomorrow. I swear he wanted me to tell him I couldn't make it."

"I wonder what she's going to ask us about," Deeks said, thinking out loud. "I don't want to say anything wrong to her, you know?"

"There aren't any wrong answers, Deeks," Sam said. "We just need to be honest with her. That's the most important thing."

"Even if honesty isn't what Callen would want?" Deeks asked. He couldn't help but feel reluctant to do anything that would make Callen's life even more miserable.

"Yeah, Deeks, even then. G might not like what comes out of this, but we need to do what's best for him."

"I guess you're right," Deeks said. He was silent for a few moments before going on. "Kensi and I are going to the movies if you want to stop by the house and keep him company."

Sam was quiet, as if pondering Deeks' suggestion, before speaking again. "Actually, I think I'm going to leave him alone. If I go running over there after you two have left, he's going to know we were talking about him. That would likely just set him off. Maybe a little bit of time to himself will do him some good."

"Okay, you know him best," Deeks said. "I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep, see you then. Tell Kensi I said hello and enjoy the movie."

"Will do."

xxxxx

Callen managed to calm himself down a bit after Deeks and Kensi left. He made himself a sandwich for lunch and just vegged out on the sofa, watching " _The Godfather_." He hadn't seen the film in a long time and was able to lose himself in it and temporarily put a halt to dwelling on his own problems. He was still watching Part 2 when Kensi and Deeks returned.

"Oh yeah, love this movie," Deeks said as he glanced at the television and sat down on the sofa beside Callen.

"I need to go pay some bills," Kensi informed Deeks who grunted in response. Kensi rolled her eyes and made her way into the kitchen. She wanted to get some things taken care of before returning to work on Monday.

Deeks remained quiet until a commercial came on and then he turned to Callen. "Did you have a good afternoon?"

"Yeah…I did," Callen replied. "How was the movie?"

"It was pretty good."

"I'm sorry if I was kind of irritable earlier," Callen said, shifting his position to face the other man. "Rachel just threw me for a loop wanting you guys to come to the session tomorrow…"

"I figured it was that," Deeks said. "Try not to worry about it, Callen. We're on your side. You know that, right?"

"I do know that," Callen said, nodding, though not looking particularly convinced.

"It'll be fine," Deeks said, inwardly hoping that what he said would prove to be true.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. Callen and Deeks watched the remainder of the movie and then they ate dinner. Afterwards, Callen went to his room to read and give Deeks and Kensi some privacy. Rachel and Sam were going to come to them in the morning and every time he thought about it, his stomach felt like it was tied up in knots. He couldn't wait for tomorrow morning to be over with.

xxxxx

That night, Callen's nightmares returned with a vengeance. He had a hard time getting to sleep in the first place and once he finally did, he awoke twice with his heart beating out of control. He didn't remember either dream though. When he awoke from the second one, at a little after 6 a.m., he decided to go out for a walk and quietly slipped downstairs and out of the house. Not really in the mood to walk around the neighborhood, he got in his car and drove to the beach where he walked for about 45 minutes. He then sat on a bench and stared out at the water. The day was cool and overcast which he found fitting as he watched the soft waves hit the shore. After a short while, he got up and headed to his car. On the way back to the house, he stopped at a local bakery and got a box of assorted breakfast pastries and coffee for himself, Kensi and Deeks. When he got back into his car, he glanced at the digital display and saw that it wasn't even 8 o'clock yet. He couldn't believe how slowly the time was dragging.

xxxxx

When Callen returned to the house, he handed off the coffee and pastries to Kensi and Deeks and headed off to shower and change. He then went downstairs where Kensi and Deeks were calmly sitting in front of the television. "I'm going for a walk," he told them.

Deeks quickly got to his feet. "I'll go with you," he said, walking over to Callen's side. "Unless you'd rather be alone?"

"You can come if you want," Callen said with a shrug.

The two men walked silently for a few minutes and then Deeks couldn't help but speak. "So…didn't you already go out for a walk today or did you just go to get coffee and pastries?"

"I went for a walk on the beach."

Deeks nodded. "Is this some kind of a new fitness kick you're on?"

"Rachel told me taking walks was good. I can't run because of my ribs," Callen said, glancing over at the younger man. "Why? What's the big deal?"

"No big deal," Deeks said. "I was just curious, that's all."

They hadn't walked for too long when Callen turned around and headed back towards the house. It was still early, but he didn't want to take a chance on Rachel getting there first. As they approached the house, Sam pulled up in the Challenger. "Good morning, guys," he said with a bright smile as he got out of the car.

"Good morning, Sam," Deeks and Callen replied in unison.

"Aww, you two are so cute," Sam said with a grin.

Callen rolled his eyes as the three men headed up the walkway to the house. "Hi, Sam," Kensi greeted him from her seat on the sofa, when they entered the house. "How are you?"

"I'm doing good, Kens, you?"

"I'm good. Callen went and got some pastry from Pacini's Bakery if you're hungry."

"Hmm…I really shouldn't…" Sam said.

"They're really good," Deeks said with a grin. "Light, flaky, fruit-filled pieces of heaven."

"Okay, you twisted my arm," Sam said, returning Deeks' grin as he followed him into the kitchen. "You want one, G?"

"Maybe later," Callen said as he sat down on a chair in the living room. There was no way he'd be able to eat one before the session. He felt the need to get up and pace, but he couldn't do it with his team members here. They'd think he was certifiable before the session even began.

xxxxx

Sam watched his partner as he fidgeted in his chair. It was uncharacteristic to see him so obviously nervous and it was driving Sam to distraction. "Come on, G…it's going to be okay," he said softly.

Callen gnawed on his lower lip as he tried to calm himself and be still. "I just…I feel like I have no control Sam…I just have to wait and see what cards I'm dealt and I've got a feeling its going to be a lousy hand…"

"It won't help you to go into this with a negative attitude. You've got to think positively.

"You can think positively," Callen said. "You guys are going back to work on Monday…"

"But I won't be in the field, Callen," Kensi said as she came back into the living room followed by Deeks.

"I'd settle for being in the office too, right now," Callen said with a soft sigh.

"G…"

"I know I'm not ready, Sam," Callen stopped him before he could say whatever he was going to say. "It doesn't stop me from wanting it though."

The four of them slipped into a heavy silence, which remained until a knock sounded on the front door. Callen took a deep breath and slowly let it out before he got up and went to let Rachel inside.


	64. Chapter 64

_So, this chapter was much harder to write than I thought it would be. I'm not very confident about it, but at least I finally was able to get it done (which is good for me at least) I hope it's not a letdown. Also, I sort of lost track of individual responses with the last chapter so I'm sorry about that, but as always, I really appreciate all of your support._

xxxxx

"Good morning, Callen," Rachel gave the agent a friendly smile as he opened the door.

"Good morning, come on in." Callen didn't return her smile, but he stepped aside so she could enter the house. He then led her into the living room and introduced her to his teammates.

Rachel immediately read Callen's tense body language and his miserable expression. He looked even more ill at ease than he had been at their first meeting. Inwardly, she was already wondering if she had made a mistake with this whole idea, but she hadn't expected his reaction to be this severe. "Is it possible for me to just start out with Callen and Sam?" she asked, giving an apologetic look to Kensi and Deeks. She hoped that would be a little bit easier on him and that he would relax.

"Yeah, no problem," Deeks said, appearing almost too eager to leave the room. "Come on, Kens…" Kensi grabbed her crutches and the two left the living room.

"So…" Rachel watched with interest as Sam took a seat on the sofa abandoned by Kensi and Deeks and Callen followed suit. It almost seemed like they were uniting against her. "How long have the two of you been partners?"

Sam smiled. "Almost 10 years now."

"That's a long time," she commented, "especially in such a stressful job."

"It is," Sam said, nodding in agreement. "But, we depend on each other. I trust G with my life and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. It makes the job that much easier when you're partnered up with someone you can count on."

Callen nodded in agreement.

"So you know each other pretty well…"

"We do," Sam replied. "G's my best friend…my brother."

"I'd imagine that the plane crash and its aftermath had quite an effect on you as well…"

Sam's eyes clouded over as he shifted his position, appearing uncomfortable for the first time. "Of course…we could have all been killed. G…G almost died…" He glanced at his partner emotionally who gave him a heartfelt look in return.

"Sam saved my life," Callen said softly, entering the conversation for the first time. "I don't think I would have made it, if it hadn't been for him."

"You must have felt pretty helpless when he was abducted from the hospital."

"Yes…I…I didn't think we were going to find him…or if we did, that it would be too late…" Sam stated.

Rachel nodded. "When Callen was released from the hospital, he went to stay with you and your family, right?"

Sam nodded as he and Callen exchanged a long look which Rachel couldn't decipher.

"But then he ended up here? That's interesting, considering how close the two of you are."

Sam glanced at Callen again, unsure if his partner had ever brought up what had happened with Kamran to Rachel. He was very reluctant to mention it, if Callen hadn't. "Not really." Sam shrugged, trying to appear casual. "The team is close…all of us…we're family."

"So, nothing happened to precipitate Callen leaving you to come here?" Rachel persisted. "It was basically just a change of scenery?"

Sam clammed up. His words to Deeks the previous day about being honest for Callen's own good were much easier to carry out in theory than they were in practice.

"Why does that matter?" Callen asked, clearly on edge.

"I didn't realize it was such a tough question," Rachel replied calmly.

"Fine! You want to know? I hit his daughter, okay?" Callen snapped.

Rachel quickly covered up her surprise at Callen's unexpected answer as Sam interjected. "He didn't mean that the way it sounded," Sam began to explain. "He was having a nightmare and my daughter tried to wake him. He hit her in his sleep. He didn't know what he was doing."

"She was bleeding…" Callen said quietly, the memory all too vivid for him. "She…she was so scared of me…"

Sam put his arm around Callen's upper back and rubbed his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "Come on, G…we're past this. Kam forgave you. It was an accident. You didn't mean to hurt her. She's fine now."

Callen shook his head, still caught up in what had happened. "I can't believe I hurt her like that…it's not something you forget, Sam…when an adult…someone you should be able to trust, hurts you that way…"

"Everything's okay, buddy," Sam said soothingly. "Kam's okay…you're okay too." He glared over at Rachel, keeping his arm protectively wrapped around Callen. "This isn't helping him."

"How did you think this would work?" she asked, directing her question to Sam. "That we'd all be here talking about sunshine and lollipops? Therapy is hard work. It's not a cakewalk."

"I know that," Sam said, staring back at her. "Trust me, I've been through my share of therapy in my life."

"Then you know how it works."

"It doesn't mean I agree with this particular tactic," Sam said. "Deliberately upsetting him when we've barely even started."

"I didn't," Rachel said. "I had no idea what happened between your daughter and him. I was just curious why he left your house. It struck me as odd."

"Can we take a break?" Callen asked. "I…I need to get some fresh air, then you two can go on talking about me."

"G…I was only trying to help," Sam protested, looking upset.

"Go…" Rachel said to Callen. "Take a few minutes."

Callen shrugged away from his partner and went outside, slamming the door behind him.

Sam sighed heavily, shaking his head.

"He'll be all right," Rachel said, looking over at him.

"You don't know that," Sam said, gazing back at her. "You don't know him…He doesn't trust easily. This…this whole group thing was not a good idea, unless you were just trying to make him anxious...then I guess it was a great idea…"

"I wanted your input, your opinions. I wasn't trying to upset him."

"Well you did," Sam said as he got up from the sofa and went outside to check on his partner.

xxxxx

Deeks came into the living room, his blue eyes filled with concern as he saw Rachel sitting there with no sign of Callen or Sam. "Uh…we heard the door slam…we were just wondering if everything was okay…"

Rachel forced a smile. "You and Kensi can join us now. Callen just needed a little break. They should be back in a few minutes."

"Okay," Deeks nodded, still appearing worried. "Would you like some coffee? Or we have some pastries…"

"No thank you. I'm fine. Why don't you go get Kensi."

"Sure…" Deeks ran his hand back through his hair and left the living room to get her.

xxxxx

"Hey…" Sam went outside the house and immediately came upon his partner, who was pacing back and forth over the front lawn. "Deeks and Kensi have a nice lawn, G…you probably don't want to wear a hole through it."

"It's not funny, Sam," Callen said, stopping and turning to look at his partner. "This…this whole thing. I hate it. I don't know why we're even doing it."

Sam ran his hand over his face and shook his head. "I know it's not funny, G…and I know you hate it…I'm sorry. I wish it could be different for you. I really do."

"I'm the only one who has to go through this stuff…no one else," Callen shook his head, looking distressed. "I just…I don't want to do it, I don't."

Sam shrugged as he contemplated his overwrought friend. "I don't know what to tell you, G…if you don't, Hetty's not going to let you back. You know she won't...not until you've been properly cleared as being fit for duty."

"Maybe it's time for a career change then. Maybe this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing anymore. Everyone thinks I'm crazy anyhow. I should just give Granger and Hetty what they want, quit NCIS and be done with it."

"No one thinks you're crazy…and you don't mean that," Sam stated quietly.

"Maybe I do…"

Sam nodded slowly. "Okay…maybe you're right…I never took you for a quitter, G, but maybe I was wrong about that. There are lots of other things you can do. I know you said you wouldn't work as Jimmy the mail guy again, but you were good at it. I bet you could get in at an entry level position somewhere and work your way up pretty quick. Maybe being a mail guy is your calling, not being a federal agent."

Callen narrowed his eyes at his partner. "You don't think I can see through your reverse psychology crap, Sam?" he asked, a slight smirk on his lips.

"Come on, G," Sam gave his partner a mock punch on his arm. "Don't let her get you down. We have your back. Don't give up now. Let's go back inside."

Callen nibbled on his bottom lip as he considered his partner's words and finally nodded. "Fine," he said with a sigh as Sam threw his arms around his shoulders and they headed back into the lion's den.

xxxxx

Rachel breathed a small sigh of relief when Callen and Sam came back into the house with Callen looking more composed than when he had left. She had to admit, she'd been slightly worried that he wouldn't return. It was easy to see the positive influence that Sam had on him. Deeks and Kensi were sitting on the sofa so Callen sat down beside them and Sam took the other empty chair in the room.

"So…" Rachel looked over at Kensi and Deeks and smiled. It was time to try to build Callen's confidence up a little bit after what had just happened. She was relatively sure his teammates would help this along. "The two of you have been a member of Callen's team for a pretty long time. Do you find him to be a good leader?"

"Yeah, he's great," Deeks said enthusiastically.

"The four of us work together really well," Kensi said, turned her head to smile at Callen. He returned her smile with a faint one of his own. "We trust his decisions. I trust him with my life."

"As do I," Deeks chimed in.

"He really cares about us," Kensi said. "He's smart and loyal and leads by example. He'd never ask us to do anything he wouldn't do himself."

Sam was closely watching his partner as Kensi spoke. He could see the tinge of pink appearing on his cheeks and knew that he was both a little bit embarrassed and very pleased by her praise. He didn't like seeing his friend down and was glad Kensi was saying all the right things.

The discussion moved along smoothly, centered mostly on their team dynamics at work, before Rachel changed it up again. "So…how has it been having Callen stay with you?" she asked.

"It's been fine, good," Deeks said. "We all get along."

"We like having him here," Kensi said.

"And in your estimation, he's doing okay?"

"He's definitely getting better," Deeks said.

"And how about the nightmares?"

"The nightmares?" Deeks asked, trying to keep his expression neutral. He didn't dare shift his eyes to Kensi or Callen.

Rachel nodded. "He has nightmares, doesn't he? About how often have you noticed them?"

"Um…" Deeks licked his lips as he tried to figure out what was the best way to answer the question was. "I'm not exactly sure…exactly…"

"You don't need to give me an exact number, just your best estimation," Rachel prodded.

"Well, its definitely not every night," Deeks answered. "Definitely not…"

"Have they ever woken you up?"

Deeks glanced over at Sam who was staring down at his lap.

Callen, watching the whole thing, felt like the young detective was undergoing an interrogation and he was just sitting there, letting him suffer. "It's all right, Deeks," he said quietly. "Just tell the truth."

Deeks turned to Callen. "You really haven't even been here that long," he stated. His eyes went back to Rachel. "Every other night maybe, sometimes more. I don't know…" He didn't like this at all. He fully understood why Callen felt like he was being ganged up on. He would feel the same way if he was in this situation. He didn't dare mention that some nights the nightmares seemed never-ending, one after another. Unless she specifically asked him, he wasn't giving her that kind of information. Nothing had been brought up about Callen's intense fear of the dark either or about what had happened at the amusement park. He couldn't bring himself to break Callen's trust though. He noticed that Sam hadn't been all that forthcoming with information either. He just hoped Callen would eventually bring those things up to her himself.

"Does it really matter all that much?" Sam asked. "I mean, its going to take time for him to get over them, right?"

"I can't help but be worried about what happened with your daughter," Rachel said, looking at Sam and then Callen. "I know it wasn't your fault, Callen, but I'm concerned that you could somehow hurt yourself if you're having these nightmares and wake up violent or disoriented and there's no one available to help you."

"We're here to help him," Kensi protested.

"Is this about Hetty?" Callen asked, suddenly suspicious. "Are…are you trying to get me admitted into a mental hospital? I'm not doing that." He shook his head as he grew more upset. "I'm not. I won't."

Rachel shook her head. "It has nothing to do with Hetty and I don't think you need an inpatient hospitalization. It has to do with your request to go home, Callen."

"Oh…"

Sam, Kensi and Deeks exchanged surprised looks which Rachel picked up on. "You didn't tell your team?"

"No…"

"You think you're ready to go home now, G?" Sam asked, a doubtful expression on his face.

"Well, I can tell you don't think so," Callen said casting a dour look at his partner.

"We haven't been back for very long, Callen," Kensi said, her tone gentle. "Why the rush?"

He shook his head, looking utterly dejected. "You're all going back to work on Monday…what am I supposed to do?"

"You could always go back to my house, G," Sam suggested. "Michelle is there to keep you company and you could see Kam every day when she gets home from school."

"I don't need a babysitter," Callen retorted.

"What is it you can't do here that you can do at home?" Deeks asked.

"I don't know…" Callen shook his head. "Is it really that weird for me to want to be in my own house? I don't see why I have to come up with reasons for wanting to be there."

"No…you're right. I'm sorry, Callen," Deeks said softly.

The occupants of the room then fell silent. Rachel thought for a bit and finally spoke, her decision made. "I'm sorry too, Callen," she said softly. "But for right now, I think its best you either continue staying with Kensi and Deeks, or if you'd like, move back to Sam's house. I can't, in good conscience, have you staying alone right now, not at night anyway. You had some real issues when you were in Seattle and I just don't think you're ready. I spoke with your doctors there and they agreed that this is the best course of action for now. Of course, you can go to your house during the day, but I think it's important that you have your evening meals, and spend the nights, at the homes of your friends."

"So, what was this all about then?" Callen angrily gestured in a motion that encircled his team. "I think you knew before you came here what your decision was."

"I won't lie to you. I had an idea," Rachel said with a nod, "but I wanted to meet your team before my final decision. I'm just not convinced that…"

"Just forget it," Callen said, his blue eyes weary and full of disappointment as he bowed his head dejectedly. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Rachel quietly studied Callen for a few moments, weighing her options carefully, before speaking. "I think maybe the possibility of going back to work part time, office only, could possibly be a consideration," she said, extending an olive branch.

"Yeah?" Callen immediately brightened up at that. "That could work. I'd be good with it."

"Of course, that needs to be discussed with your operations manager and your treating physician here would need to clear you physically before it could happen."

"Hetty? Great…" Callen knew that physically he had a ways to go for field work, but he was fairly confident that Dr. Bryant would clear him to go into the office. However, Hetty was a whole different story. His hopes were dashed as quickly as they had risen.

"Yes, Hetty. We need to meet with her, Callen. I'm going to leave it up to you when that will take place, but it has to happen at some point. It could be our next session or three weeks from now, but putting it off isn't going to get you back to work any faster."

He tried to think of some reason why meeting with Hetty was a bad idea, but couldn't think of anything that Rachel wouldn't see through. He was just so tired of the whole situation. He felt like someone was dangling rewards in front of him and then jerking them away, just out of his reach.

Rachel regarded him for a few moments before she concluded that Callen was emotionally done for the day. She slowly began to gather her things together. "I'm sorry you're unhappy, but this really is for the best, whether you think so or not. I'll see you Monday at 10?" She thought it was important to give him the next day off, hoping he'd see things in a better light, after he'd had a chance to process everything.

Callen nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Where should we meet?" she asked. "Here or at the beach?"

Callen just shrugged.

"Okay…the beach then." Rachel said, thinking it was better for him to get out of the house. He seemed to enjoy it there. She looked at the other members of his team who were all sitting in uncomfortable silence, none of them meeting her eyes. She knew, without a doubt, that she hadn't made any friends there today. However, it wasn't her job to make friends. It was to get Callen back to his life again, mentally fit and able to cope with the rigors of his position as a federal agent.


	65. Chapter 65

_As always, thanks for reading and supporting this story. Oh yeah, this chapter might be ending on a cliffhanger, kinda, sorta... ;)_

xxxxx

"That was fun…" Deeks finally broke the silence that had been hovering over them since Rachel had left the house. He couldn't stand it anymore.

"I'm going for a walk," Callen said as he quickly got up. No one tried to stop him. They all just watched him as he left the living room, then left the house, slamming the door behind him.

"Oh, that wasn't good at all," Kensi said after Callen had left and she knew he was well out of hearing range.

"No, no it wasn't," Sam said as he slowly shook his head. "I swear, every time he takes a step forward, he takes two steps back."

"I guess I didn't really think about how badly he wanted to return to work," Deeks admitted.

"I'll talk to Hetty on Monday," Sam said. "Maybe if she knows how important it is to him, she'll go easy on him and let him go back part-time."

"Do you really think so?" Kensi asked.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. You know how hard Hetty is to read. You can think she's going to do one thing and then she'll turn around and do the exact opposite."

"I didn't realize how unhappy he was being here either," Kensi stated, looking sad.

"I don't think it's so much that he's unhappy being here," Sam began. "He just wants to go home. Let's face it, he feels like we're babysitting him and I guess he's right in some way. It's not like we're about to let him go off and do whatever he wants."

"We haven't been telling him what to do though, Sam," Deeks protested. "He does what he wants. We're not stopping him."

Sam nodded. "I know that. I just don't think that's how he feels, you know?"

"I guess…" Deeks ran his hand back through his hair, appearing troubled. "So, now what?"

"Now…we just keep doing what we've been doing," Sam said. "I don't really think we have a choice."

"Callen certainly doesn't," Kensi commented. "Not if he wants to get his job back." She turned her attention to Deeks with a small sigh. "I guess we should forget about Malibu for today. Maybe next weekend?"

"You two were heading to Malibu?" Sam asked. "Why can't you go?"

"Well, Callen's not here and we really don't know when he'll be back…" Deeks replied. "It just seems like it's not the best day for it."

Kensi shook her head. "I don't really feel right about leaving…"

"Go ahead. I'll stay here, at least until G gets back," Sam said.

Kensi looked at Sam, then at Deeks doubtfully. "I don't know…"

"Go," Sam encouraged the couple again. "I'll stay here with him for a while, try to calm him down."

"To babysit?" Deeks asked.

"To keep him company…maybe I can get him to go out to lunch with me or something."

"Are you sure?" Deeks asked. "We're just going to drive around and grab an early dinner at our favorite restaurant. We'll be back early this evening."

Sam nodded. "Go ahead. It's not a problem."

"Thanks, Sam," Kensi said. She smiled at him then turned to Deeks. "Do you have anything you need to do before we leave?"

Deeks shook his head. "Nope, I'm good. If you're all set, let's hit the road."

"I'm all set," Kensi replied as she reached for her crutches.

"Have fun guys," Sam said. He then went over to sit on the sofa and picked up the remote control from the coffee table. He then settled back to wait for his partner to return.

xxxxx

Callen walked slowly through the neighborhood as he mulled over the team session in his head. He knew it hadn't gone well. He could only imagine what his team thought about him now. Not that they didn't already have plenty of reasons why they would think poorly of him after all that had happened. He hadn't been the one to take care of things after the plane crash. That had been all Sam. Deeks had been the one to find the locator beacon that had gotten them rescued. He certainly hadn't had anything to do with it. He'd been unconscious at the time. Then, he'd only succeeded in becoming a victim at the hospital, allowing himself to be abducted, and since that time, had been having all kinds of psychological issues. Was it any wonder he wasn't being allowed to go back to his home and back to work? Why would Kensi and Deeks want anyone other than Sam to be team leader?

When he got back to the house, he noted that Deeks' vehicle was gone, but Sam's Challenger was still there. "Oh great," he murmured to himself as he opened the door and entered the house.

"Hey G…" Sam said casually, although inwardly he was relieved that Callen had returned.

"Hi…" Callen came into the living room and took a seat next to his partner on the sofa. "I'm guessing that Kensi and Deeks couldn't get out of here fast enough?"

Sam shook his head. "They went to Malibu…I assumed they had mentioned it to you…"

Callen nodded. "Yeah, they did. I guess I just forgot…"

"G…I know you're upset about today, but it was just one bad day. You have a lot of good ones ahead of you."

"I don't know how you figure that," Callen said as he slowly shook his head. "I don't know how anyone can have faith in me anymore…"

'Damn,' Sam thought to himself, already seeing the obvious signs of his partner's loss of confidence, once again. "Don't give in to this, G. You've been doing really well. You **_will_** go home soon and you **_will_** go back to work. Don't let one, not so great day, make you lose hope."

"Yeah…I know you're right, Sam," Callen said unconvincingly. He was saying the right words, but his posture and expression didn't support them in any way.

Sam studied his partner, knowing he was just paying him lip service. "You hungry?" he asked him, thinking maybe a change of scenery would do Callen some good. "Want to go get some lunch? My treat?"

"No thanks," Callen said with a shake of his head. "I think I'm just going to hang out here. Besides, it's your last two days home with Michelle and Kamran, before returning to work. You ought to spend some time with them. "

"Are you sure?" Sam asked, inwardly going back and forth between whether it was better for him to force the issue and give his partner some company or do as Callen asked and give him some space.

Callen nodded. "I'm positive…Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine."

"Alright, G…I'll leave you alone. Just promise me you'll call me if you need me, okay?"

"Yeah, I promise Sam."

"And try not to stress over this, you're going to get through it. I know you are."

Callen nodded. "I'll try."

"Okay…I'll see you later, G."

"Bye, Sam."

xxxxx

Deeks and Kensi sat at a quiet table directly overlooking the shimmering water. "This is really nice," Kensi said softly, smiling at Deeks. "I feel like it's been forever since we've been somewhere like this, just the two of us."

"It is nice," Deeks said, reaching across the table to take Kensi's hand.

"Deeks? Kensi?" A tall, dark-haired man came over to their table. "Hey, I thought that was you. How the heck are you? I didn't know you were staying here. Why didn't you give me a call?"

"Hey Dave," Deeks shook hands with the man who had just come over to them. Dave O'Brien was the manager of the Bayside Inn. He had befriended the couple on one of their numerous weekend visits. They had even shared meals with him and his wife, Angela, on occasion. "We're actually only here for the day. We're not staying overnight this time."

"Really? Aw come on man, you should stay. Have brunch with Angela and I tomorrow so we can catch up."

"Sorry, Dave," Kensi said, smiling. "Maybe next time."

Dave noticed Kensi's crutches. "Hey, what happened to you?" he asked.

"Oh, I just had a bad fall and broke my ankle," Kensi stated. "I'll be good as new in a few weeks."

"Ouch," Dave said with a sympathetic look. "So, here's something that might help you heal even faster. What if I was to tell you that the person who booked our finest king suite, overlooking the water, cancelled last minute and insisted on paying for the room. He's one of our best clients and we didn't want to charge him, but he would not take no for an answer."

"What does that have to do with us?" Deeks asked, already knowing the answer.

"You two can stay there tonight, totally free. It's a pretty luxurious suite, huge tub with a whirlpool. I bet it would be good for your ankle," Dave said coaxingly. "Just saying…"

Kensi and Deeks looked at each other, both sorely tempted by the very generous offer. "Call Callen," Kensi finally said to Deeks who wasted no time in pulling out his cell phone.

xxxxx

"Hey, Deeks. How's it going?" Callen said after clicking on his phone when Deeks' name showed up on the display.

"We're good. How are you?"

"I'm fine," Callen said. "I'm just hanging out, watching t.v. So what's up?"

"Kensi and I met an old friend here. He actually runs the inn we're having dinner at. Anyhow, he offered us the opportunity to stay overnight in a really nice room, free of charge."

"Are you asking for my blessing, Deeks?" Callen asked with a chuckle. "I think the two of you are old enough to make your own decisions."

"No, but…I was thinking you could go and stay with Sam tonight? Or maybe have him come over to the house…"

"Oh," Callen bristled at the idea of it, but didn't say anything negative to Deeks. He certainly didn't want to be the reason the two of them couldn't go away for a night. "Of course, I'll give Sam a call. Don't worry about it. You two have fun, okay?"

"Thanks, Callen. We'll see you tomorrow."

Callen clicked off his phone and was just about to press the button on the screen with Sam's name on it when he clicked the phone back off and put it aside. "Screw it," he muttered to himself. There was no reason at all why he couldn't stay in the house alone for one night. He'd leave the light on and be perfectly fine. He was tired of being treated like an infant. This was one time when he was going to make his own decision.

xxxxx

The rest of the day passed slowly, but peacefully for Callen. He fed Monty and took him for a walk, then ordered himself a pizza for dinner. He tried to find something interesting on t.v., but nothing particularly caught his attention for more than a few minutes. He found himself tired and bored and the thought that this was what his days would be like when the team returned to work was starting to depress him. Finally, at 9 p.m., he decided to try to get some sleep. He headed upstairs to his bedroom and undressed, putting on a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a t-shirt. He then climbed into bed and got under the covers. His thoughts then began to wander and he felt a little bit guilty about lying to Deeks about calling Sam. However, maybe this would show his teammates that he was fully capable of living alone, although he had no intention of telling Rachel what he had done, unsure of what consequences there could be for his actions. Better she should remain in the dark, so to speak. Totally worn out, he was eventually able to drift off to sleep.

xxxxx

Once Callen was sleeping, unbeknownst to him, and not too far from where Kensi and Deeks lived, Ken Barrows, a local businessman, who was very drunk, exited a local pub. He staggered to his pickup truck and got inside. After driving for not even two minutes, he proceeded to smash his truck right into a power pole. A large area was immediately plunged into darkness, including Kensi and Deeks' house.

xxxxx

 _"Sam?" Callen called out as he peered into the darkness of the cave, trying to find his partner._

 _"We're over here, G," Sam called back to him. "Hurry. We need to leave."_

 _"I can't…I can't find you," Callen said tremulously._

 _"Well, we can't find you either," Deeks called. "You'd better hurry, Callen."_

 _"We can't wait much longer," Kensi said. "We're going to have to leave without you."_

 _"NO! You can't leave without me," Callen protested. Just wait for me, please. I'll find you. Don't leave me here alone."_

 _"Sorry, buddy," Sam said. "We really don't have a choice. We'll die too if we stay here. I have a family to worry about."_

 _"Please, Sam," a note of hysteria crept into Callen's voice as he pleaded. "Don't leave me here alone! Whatever happened to never leave a man behind? Sam?!" But no one answered him and the panic began to overwhelm him. "Come back!" Please come back!"_

xxxxx

With an utter sense of dread, Callen awoke to the same darkness that had been present in his nightmare. The fact that he was safe in bed did not register with him as he got up and stumbled, then fell to the floor. Disoriented, he crawled until he reached a corner of the room, then backed into it and drew his knees up against his chest. "Deeks?!" he shouted out. "Where are you? I…I need help. Sam?!" He began to lose all sense of time and place as he waited, no longer aware of where he was, as the past and present, dreams and reality began to come together in a torturous mix. His heart pounded, quickly and erratically, as he buried his face against his knees, terrified, and knowing that he was all alone and no one was going to come to help him.


	66. Chapter 66

_Thanks to all of you for reading and reviewing this story. I really appreciate your comments._

 _***Warning: This chapter is a sad one and contains references to past child abuse._

xxxxx

"This is nice, spending time together, just the two of us," Michelle said. She was curled up on the living room sofa, her head resting against Sam's chest. "Of course, I could think of more romantic things to do than watch the 10 o'clock news…especially when our daughter is at a sleep over, but…I guess that's just me…"

Sam looked down at his wife and chuckled. "I'm sorry, baby," he said softly. "I'll turn it off." He reached for the remote control, which was on the arm of the sofa, but just as he was about to shut off the television, the breaking news headline flashed on. "Just a sec." The news announcer was talking about a widespread power outage which had resulted from a drunk driving accident. "That's near where Kensi and Deeks live…they must not have any power…"

"I wouldn't worry about them, Sam," Michelle said as she pulled away from him and sat up. "I'm sure they have flashlights and candles to deal with it."

"Yeah…I know," Sam said. "I was just...you know, never mind…"

"You're worried about your partner," Michelle said, giving him a knowing look.

"No…I'm sure Kensi or Deeks would have called if there was anything going on with him…"

Michelle shook her head, a smile on her lips. "I'm not going to have your full attention until you check on him, Sam. Go ahead. Call Deeks or Kensi…whichever one you call to check up on Callen."

"Thanks, baby. It'll be short," Sam said. "Then, I will make it up to you."

"Promises, promises," Michelle said, a teasing smile on her lips.

xxxxx

"How's the whirlpool, baby?" Deeks asked with a grin.

"Why don't you join me and find out?" Kensi asked, giving him a flirtatious look.

"I don't think I can possibly refuse such a tempting offer," Deeks said. He was just about to remove his shirt when his cell phone rang. He grabbed it and saw Sam's name on the caller ID. "Sam? Really?" he asked with a shake of his head. He then clicked on his phone. "Hey Sam, what's up?"

"That's what I wanted to find out," Sam said. "Everything okay with you guys?"

"More than okay," Deeks said, winking at Kensi. "We're having a terrific time."

"Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure G was okay with the whole power outage."

"Whoa, wait a second, Sam," Deeks said. "What the heck are you talking about?"

"I saw the whole thing about the power outage on the news," Sam stated. "I thought for sure it affected you. It didn't?"

"Sam…Kensi and I aren't home," Deeks began slowly, a knot already forming in his stomach. "We're still in Malibu."

"You're still in Malibu?" Sam repeated, as if he was trying to make sense of Deeks' words.

Deeks swallowed hard as the full realization of what was happening hit him. "I…Callen said he was going to call you, Sam…to stay with you tonight," Deeks said. "I…I never thought…"

"I need to go," Sam said.

"Sam, wait!" Deeks shouted into the phone, but Sam was already gone. "Damn it," he said as brushed his hand back through his hair.

"Deeks? What is it? What's happened?" Kensi asked, giving him a concerned look. "Can you help me out of here?" Deeks gently lifted Kensi out of the tub and handed her a towel which she wrapped around herself. He then gave her the crutches.

"Uh…Callen…he never got in touch with Sam. I assume he stayed at our place…or maybe he didn't. I don't really know…"

"But…he should be okay, shouldn't he?" Kensi asked, looking confused. "Why are you so worried?"

"There's a power outage, Kens…" Deeks said. He looked at her through troubled blue eyes and shook his head. "His whole thing with the dark…I don't know…"

Kensi looked distressed as Deeks told her what was happening. "He's going to be so scared…"

"I don't know what I was thinking, staying here," Deeks said as the guilt ate away at him. "After what happened in therapy today, I should have known Callen wasn't going to want to stay with Sam… He just thinks we're babying him."

"I know, but Deeks…we couldn't have anticipated a power outage," Kensi said. "Besides, it's just as much my fault. I certainly didn't say no to staying here overnight for free either…"

"So, should we go home?" Deeks asked uncertainly.

Kensi looked at him, doubt written all over her face. "By the time we get there, Sam is likely going to have matters well in hand…I don't know, Deeks. If we go running back, we might just make things worse with Callen…"

"Okay…let's wait a little while and then call Sam. When we talk to him, we'll figure out what we should do," Deeks said. "For now, let's go into the other room and wait."

Kensi nodded. "I'll be right there." She then dried herself off and put on one of the robes that was hanging in the bathroom before following Deeks into the main part of the suite.

xxxxx

Callen felt like he couldn't breathe as he sat, totally panic-stricken, sure that he was still in the cave and that he had been abandoned by his team. "Please come for me," he whispered. "Please." As much as he tried to, he couldn't even make himself move. Finally, he dozed off for a bit, just a few minutes really, but when he awoke, his flashback was one of a whole different nature.

 _He and the Murphy family had just returned from the fair. He had only just stepped out of the car when Donald grabbed him roughly by the arm and started dragging him towards the house. "You clean that car up Brenda and don't come in until you do!" Donald shouted._

 _"Let me go!" Callen screamed, which resulted in a hard smack to his face which immediately shut the child up. Once they had gotten inside, Callen had momentarily escaped only to be grabbed by Donald once again._

 _"You're going to find that there are consequences for disobedience!" Donald said fiercely as he began to beat the defenseless child. When he was through and Callen was cowering in a ball on the floor, he picked him up and threw him into a closet, then padlocked it from the outside. "Maybe that'll teach you!" he shouted._

 _Sobbing hysterically, Callen had crawled to the far side of the closet, his whole body trembling. It was the first time he'd ever been beaten so severely. He'd been hit before, but nothing like this. Everything hurt. His ribs, his arms, his stomach… He could feel his right eye beginning to swell. He backed up into the corner then pulled down a coat from a hanger up above and covered himself with it. He then cried and cried until he fell asleep. When he had awoken and found himself still alone in the dark, he had started to scream for help._

 _Donald had then pounded on the door. "You shut up! Shut the hell up or you will die in that closet. Is that what you want?! You'll die alone and you'll rot away and the rats will eat your body so keep it up. You just keep it up and you'll be sorrier than you can ever imagine!"_

 _Donald's cruel words scared him into submission. Frightened to death, Callen had curled up into the fetal position and was sobbing into another coat which he was using for a pillow. He knew that no one cared about him and he was going to die all alone in the darkness…_

 _xxxxx_

Before leaving his house, Sam tried numerous times to call Callen, but as he had predicted, there was no answer. He apologized to his wife and quickly left the house. He then sped through the streets, going as quickly as he dared, but when he reached the blackout area, he had to slow down. Everything was cloaked in darkness. The houses were dark and the streetlights were out. As luck would have it, there was a new moon, as well, so that wasn't even visible in the sky.

At last, he arrived at Kensi and Deeks' house. He was glad to see that Callen's car was still in the driveway. At least that meant his partner was very likely inside the house. He picked up his flashlight from the passenger seat and turned it on, then got out of the car and started up the walkway to the front entrance. He rang the bell and pounded loudly on the door. "G?! G, it's Sam. Come on! Open the door." As he squatted down to pick the lock, he could only hope that Callen had managed to sleep through the blackout and then he would be able to be proactive and hopefully save his partner from having a bad reaction to what had happened.

As he entered the house, Sam swept the flashlight beam through the living room and then the kitchen area. He then walked towards the staircase and headed up the stairs. When he reached the room Callen was staying in, he took a deep breath before opening the door, afraid of what he might find inside. Once he stepped into the room, he directed the beam at the bed, but it was empty. "G?" he called softly. "It's me, Sam…Are you in here?" There was no answer to his question. He slowly moved the beam of light over the room and was about ready to move on when he found him, backed into the far corner of the room, with his face buried against his pulled up knees, looking very small and very fragile.

Slowly and cautiously, Sam approached his partner, not wanting to startle him. "G?" he said softly. "Hey buddy, its me…its Sam." Callen didn't move and Sam finally reached him and knelt down on the floor beside him. He tentative reached his hand out and touched Callen's shoulder. Callen didn't respond in any way. He could feel his partner's body shivering and he grabbed a blanket from the bed and wrapped it around him. "Hey, G?" Can you hear me?"

There was still no response.

"Come on, G…" Sam gently began to rub Callen's back in a circular motion, trying to comfort him and get him to at least raise his head. "Can you at least try to talk to me? Everything's okay now. You don't have to be afraid."

"Who…who are you?" Callen finally asked in a small voice, although he still kept his face buried.

"It's Sam…your partner."

"I…I…I don't have a partner," Callen said tremulously.

"Sure you do. We've been partners for a long time," Sam said, baffled by Callen's response. He then started to wonder about Callen's orientation to person, time and place. "G? Where are you?" he asked gently. "Are you in the mine?"

Callen remained silent.

"Come on, buddy…do you know where you are?" He continued to rub his partner's back, hoping that in some way the gesture was helping him.

"I…I'm in the closet," Callen replied.

The closet? Damn. This was not good. Sam could only imagine what kinds of memories he was now dredging up. Sam had managed to pick up various things about Callen's childhood over the years, but mostly by incidental comments or when Callen would connect with someone during interrogations and would bring certain parts of his childhood to light. He couldn't recall anything about a closet, although it was obviously not a happy memory.

"How old are you?" Sam asked.

"I'm six years old."

Six? Sam was instantly sickened at the thought of whatever torture his partner had endured as a six year old. He wished he knew how to reach Rachel. He knew that Hetty would know, but he wasn't quite ready to bring her into this yet, knowing how Callen would feel about that. "Did someone hurt you?" he asked him. "Did someone put you in the closet?"

"Mr. Murphy…he hurt me…he hurt me real bad…and then, and then…"

"Shhh…don't get upset. Everything's okay, G…I'm here now. He can't hurt you anymore. I promise…you're safe."

"I'm safe?" Callen asked softly.

"Yes, you're safe now. Mr. Murphy is gone, I promise. He's never coming back. Can you look up? Please, G…look at me. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

Finally, Callen slowly pulled his face away from his knees and met his partner's gaze. "Sam?" he asked, looking around the room which was bathed only in the glow from Sam's flashlight. "Wh…what's going on?"

Sam was relieved beyond measure that Callen recognized him and seemed to be back in the present. "There's a blackout, G…I came to check on you."

"Oh…" Callen didn't bother to say that he was fine. Given his present state, it was pretty obvious he wasn't.

"You were having a pretty intense flashback…do you remember it?"

Callen looked back at Sam fearfully, wondering what he might have revealed as his partner looked pretty concerned. He tried to remember, but had no recollection of whatever it was Sam was talking about. "I…I don't know…why? What did I say?"

Sam shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Come on…why don't you get up off the floor?"

Callen unbent his knees and slowly got up, then took a seat at the edge of the bed as Sam sat down beside him.

"So, what is it you don't want me to know, Sam?" Callen asked after a few moments of silence.

"G…you know how much I care about you, right?" Sam said, ignoring his partner's question.

Callen nodded.

"Well, know that what I'm about to say is for your own good."

Callen felt himself tense up, already knowing he wasn't going to like whatever Sam was going to tell him.

"You haven't been fully honest with Rachel. I knew that this morning, but I let it go and that was a mistake."

"Sam, no," Callen started to protest. "I was going to tell her everything…just not yet. I…I'm just not ready. It's better to just do it a little at a time."

"That's where you're wrong. You're not going to get well this way, G. She's not getting all the information and that is putting her at a distinct disadvantage. You need help, buddy, and I'm going to make sure you get it."

"What are you talking about, Sam?" Callen asked, quickly losing control of his emotions. "You…you want me locked up somewhere? That's what you want?"

"No! No, G. Of course not. That's not what I'm saying. But you need to come clean with her. Tomorrow. You will call her and make an appointment and we're going to go see her, together. And G, if you don't tell her everything, I will."

"But Sam…"

Sam shook his head. "I'm sorry, no buts, G. You will tell her everything tomorrow, or I will. That's just the way it's going to be. I want you to get better and I really think this is the only way that's going to happen. No more secrets. No more hiding."

Callen stared back at his partner, looking for any sign that he would relent, but he saw nothing. Sam meant business and this time, there would be no changing his mind.


	67. Chapter 67

_As always, thanks so much for reading and supporting this story. (And on an unrelated note, why are weekends so short?)_

xxxxx

"Hey Deeks, do you have candles somewhere?" Sam asked when Deeks picked up on the other end of the line. Sam and Callen were now down in the living room. Callen hadn't said a word since Sam's ultimatum, so Sam was pretty sure he was now getting the silent treatment.

"Sam! Kensi and I have been worried sick," Deeks said, obviously agitated. "Is Callen alright?"

"Yeah…for now," Sam said vaguely, not wanting to say much with his partner right next to him. "The candles, Deeks?"

"Oh, yeah, they're in the kitchen, in the drawer underneath the microwave," Deeks said. "There are matches and some lighters in there, as well. Hey, Sam, do you want us to come home? We can be there in an hour."

"No…definitely not a good idea," Sam said, glancing over at his partner. Callen appeared not to be listening, but Sam was certain that he was hearing and processing every word he said.

"You sure?" Deeks asked.

Sam could hear the concern and uncertainty in the other man's voice. "I'm sure."

"Okay…I'm guessing Callen is with you so you can't say much," Deeks said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Sam."

"Sounds good. You two enjoy the rest of your night."

"Take care, Sam."

Sam clicked off his phone and turned to his partner. "I'm going to get some candles G," he said. "I need to bring the flashlight into the kitchen to look for them. You want to come with me?"

Callen glared at his partner. "I can stay here without the flashlight, Sam," he said with an edge to his voice, but he clenched his fists and worked hard to hide the tension he was feeling.

Sam bit back a retort and took the flashlight into the kitchen, taking care to try to sweep the flashlight beam towards the living room as much as he could. He quickly found some candles and a lighter and brought them back into the living room. He then lit two of the candles and placed one on one of the end tables and the other on the coffee table. The light of the candles cast a soft glow over the room. Once that was done, Sam turned the flashlight off and sighed softly as he leaned back against the sofa and silently contemplated his partner.

"What?" Callen asked, after a few minutes, when he had tired of having Sam's eyes on him.

"I didn't say anything, G," Sam quietly defended himself.

"No, but you're watching me." Immediately after saying the words, Callen wanted to take them back, realizing he sounded ridiculous. "Just forget it," he mumbled. He was tired, upset with Sam, upset with Rachel and most of all upset with himself. He couldn't remember anything of the flashback he'd had and he also realized it had more than proven Rachel's point that he was unable to live alone right now. He felt totally at a loss as to what his future would be. It definitely did not inspire confidence.

The time slowly ticked by. Callen watched as Sam picked up his cell phone and called his wife. He couldn't help but hear every word Sam said. He knew his partner was choosing his words carefully, but he could read between the lines, as he had when Sam had spoken with Deeks. He knew that his friends were all concerned about him, but instead of making him feel better, it made him feel worse. Everyone was walking on eggshells around him and he hated it.

"What if it was me?"

The words broke through Callen's musings and he stared back at his partner. "What?"

"What if it was me, G?" Sam repeated the question. "What if I started having flashbacks to when I was buried alive? What if I had nightmares, couldn't sleep properly, was traumatized and afraid of the dark? Would you just sit back and do nothing?"

"I…"

"Because that's what you're expecting me to do. You want me to watch you suffer, as you keep getting worse and just sit back and let it happen. I know you want to get your life back. You want to go home and go back to work. That's what I want for you too. How can you expect me to just do nothing? I'm your partner, your best friend, and you want me to look the other way and pretend nothing's going on. Well, I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

Callen sat silently as he gazed at the flame, flickering from the candle on the coffee table. "I'm scared," he finally said in a whisper, barely loud enough for Sam to hear.

"I know you are," Sam said gently. "But you know I'm here for you. The whole team is. We'll all do whatever is needed help you. And you've got Rachel here to help you, as well. I admit, I got a little bit upset with her today, because I thought she was pushing you too hard, but…I don't think she is. I think you need that to get to the crux of these problems."

"And what if I find out something I can't handle?" Callen asked, his gaze shifting to his partner. "Maybe some of these things are just meant to stay buried…maybe I shouldn't try to remember them…"

Sam slowly shook his head. "Then why are pieces of them coming out now?" he asked softly. "It's affecting you, big time, buddy. I don't think this is going to go away on its own."

"You're not a shrink, Sam…you don't know," Callen said, but the fight had gone out of him now. He was resigned to having to tell Rachel the truth.

Sam looked at Callen, feeling more than a little bit guilty. "Why don't you try to get some sleep," he suggested. "Just stretch out on the sofa. I'll make sure the candles stay lit."

Callen shook his head. "Maybe you should take your own advice, Sam. You have to go to work on Monday. You need sleep more than I do. I can sleep all day if I want to. I have nothing else to do."

"Fine, G," Sam said, before sighing heavily. "We'll both just stay awake then."

"Fine," Callen said.

They were silent for a little bit before Sam spoke up again. "You do have other things to do besides sleep."

Callen rolled his eyes. "I know that. It was sarcasm. You used to know that."

Sam couldn't help but smirk. "Come on, G…I really am trying to help you."

"I know you are," Callen said softly. "I just want to do this on my own."

Sam looked at his partner, his eyes serious. "That's not always possible, G. And for you, this time, I don't think it is…"

Callen didn't respond to that, but Sam's words were very much in his head. He was beginning to realize it was going to be all or nothing regarding therapy. He was going to have to work harder and really try to be cooperative for it to work.

xxxxx

The electricity came back on at just around 3 a.m. At that point, Callen went up to bed and fell asleep until about 7:30. Sam stretched out on the sofa and dozed sporadically, but didn't really get any restful sleep.

Callen stayed in his room until 8:30 then went downstairs. Sam was on the sofa with his eyes closed. Callen froze at the bottom of the stairs, unsure what he should do. He finally decided on going into the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of orange juice then sat at the table, slowly sipping it.

About 15 minutes later, Sam came into the kitchen. "Good morning, G," he said, attempting to test his partner's mood.

"Good morning," Callen replied as he looked over at Sam. "Did you get any sleep?"

Sam shrugged. "Some. You want some eggs?"

"Okay," Callen said, nodding. "I can make some toast if you'd like."

"Sure, that'd be good."

"You want some coffee?" Callen asked.

Sam nodded.

The two men silently prepared breakfast and then ate quietly at the table. Finally, Callen spoke. "I'm going to call Rachel at around 10," he said. "I didn't want to call too early on a Sunday morning, just in case she's the type of person who likes to sleep in." Somehow, Callen doubted it, but he wanted to put it off as long as he could.

"That's fine, G."

They finished eating and then Callen stood up and took the dishes over to the sink. "Do you have clothes with you, Sam?" he asked, as he quickly washed and dried them. "I'm going to go take a shower and get dressed."

"I have a change of clothes in my go bag in the Challenger," Sam replied.

Callen nodded as he walked back over to the table. "Okay, I'm going to go get ready. You can shower after me and then I'll call Rachel." He then headed back upstairs.

Sam sighed as he watched his partner leave and then headed out to his car. He was feeling more and more guilty about forcing G to come clean with Rachel, but he really did think it was the best thing so he had no intentions of backing down.

xxxxx

When Sam had showered and dressed, he went back downstairs where Callen was waiting in the living room. "Rachel will be here at 11," Callen informed him.

Sam nodded and was about to utter some kind of apology, but then decided against it. "Mind if I turn on the television?" he asked as he picked up the remote control.

Callen shrugged. "Go ahead."

Sam turned on the t.v. and the two sat quietly watching until a knock sounded on the front door. Callen went to the door and let Rachel in. "I have to say, I was surprised to hear from you this morning," Rachel said as she entered the living room with Callen following behind her. "After yesterday…well, let's just say I didn't think I'd see you until tomorrow."

"I have something to tell you," Callen said, looking extremely uncomfortable and unenthusiastic.

Rachel greeted Sam and then took a seat on one of the chairs and looked at Callen expectantly. "I'm all ears," she said.

Callen nervously paced around the living room, unsure of how to start. "I probably should have told you this stuff before," he said. "But…"

"Well…whatever it is, I'm glad you've reconsidered," Rachel said.

"I didn't really have a choice," Callen muttered.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, looking confused. "Why wouldn't you have a choice?"

"My partner is **_forcing_** me to tell you."

Rachel looked at Sam who was starting to look as uncomfortable as Callen did. "Is that true?" she asked him.

Sam hesitated and finally nodded. "Yes, it's true, but…you need all the information, don't you? It's for his own good."

Rachel sighed softly. "Ideally, I want to know all Callen's issues," she began, "but…making him tell me…I'm not so sure that's really going to help, Sam. There's an element of trust that I need to establish with him…I'm not sure this is conducive to building that trust."

"Okay…" Sam shrugged and shook his head, looking very discouraged. "I was just trying to help him."

Callen had thought it was at least somewhat amusing to turn the tables on Sam. However, now, as he watched his partner's demeanor and how obviously upset he was, he reconsidered. "I'll tell you, Rachel," he said. After all, she already knew he wasn't being completely forthcoming with her. At this point, he might as well be honest. He took a seat on the sofa, next to Sam, and rested his elbows on his knees as he looked down at the floor. "Ever since I've been in the cave…I've been having nightmares, which I told you, but…I also have an intense fear of the dark. Last night, with the blackout…I totally freaked, I guess…" he looked at Sam. "I don't actually remember…"

Rachel looked at Sam. "How bad?" she asked softly, her eyes filled with concern.

Sam shot Callen a questioning look and his friend nodded his assent. "I was worried so I came over here…I found him upstairs, huddled in a corner of his bedroom. He was completely terrified and…and totally caught up in a flashback."

"How can you be sure it was a flashback?" Rachel asked.

"He wasn't sure who I was at first…I asked him how old he was…He said he was six."

Callen looked at his partner, looking stunned by that piece of information.

"And I asked him where he was…he said in a closet and that someone…a Mr. Murphy had hurt him really badly."

Callen bowed his head, now understanding why Sam had been so insistent on him telling Rachel the truth. His partner's recollection of the previous night's events scared him more than he even wanted to admit to himself, since he had absolutely no memory at all of what Sam had just told them.

"Callen?"

"Yeah?" Callen looked back at Rachel, obviously upset.

"Do you have memories of this?" she asked him, her tone gentle.

"I…" Callen shook his head, slowly. "No…I…I think I remember what happened previous to that, but…I don't recall what Sam said, about Murphy hurting me or…or the closet… I don't remember. I remember beforehand. We went to the amusement park and got stuck on the ferris wheel. Murphy was screaming at his wife on the way home. I… was being a smart ass as he drove. He told me I'd be sorry. I was upset and got sick and threw up all over the car. He threatened me, but…that's as far as it goes. Everything after that is just a blank…"

Callen looked at Sam who put his arm around him and squeezed his shoulder encouragingly. "You did good, G…" he said. "Really good…"

"But I can't remember the rest of it…" Callen said, obviously distressed as he looked at Rachel. "Why can't I remember?"

"I don't know, Callen" Rachel replied. "I may be able to help you with that, but…"

"But what?" Callen asked.

"It may take some time…unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless you would consider hypnosis…"

xxxxx

 _Okay…here's the question I've been struggling with. (These stories can get overwhelming at times) Is there any way Callen would consider this? Sometimes, I think yes, sometimes I think there's no way he would. I think it would make things more interesting, but I don't want to go there if it's too crazy. I also think it might be easier to do a hypnotherapy session to help him along. I'm certainly no therapist, so some fast forwarding as far as therapy sessions may be in order. Anyhow, I'm wondering what you think. If you feel like sharing your thoughts, feel free, either under comments here or on my Facebook page. Thanks!_


	68. Chapter 68

_Just wanted to thank all of you who are still reading this story. I know it's a lengthy one and may be hard to stick with at times, so I appreciate those of you who have stayed with it. This chapter is a long one :)_

xxxxx

"Hypnosis?" Callen looked at Rachel warily and then glanced at his partner whose expression didn't tell him anything. "I…I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, I don't think it would work on me."

Rachel nodded. "Well, it's entirely up to you. Why don't we try something else? Lean back against the sofa and try to relax. Close your eyes…unless that makes you uncomfortable. Then, I'd like you to walk me through the whole episode with what happened at the fair."

Callen sighed, then did as she asked, albeit reluctantly. He tried to relax, as best he could, and began to recite the events of that night, so long ago. "I was six years old and living with a foster family, the Murphy's. My foster mother, Brenda, took me and my foster sister, Jenny to the local fair. We were having a great time until we went on the ferris wheel, which got stuck. Brenda kind of freaked out which ended up scaring me as well. Anyhow, we finally got back down to the ground and her husband, Donald was waiting for us. He was pretty mad that he'd had to wait and was calling Brenda names in the car on the ride home. I called him an idiot, which he didn't take too kindly to. I was upset and had eaten a ton of junk that day, not a good combination. I told him I was going to be sick and…well, I was…I threw up in the car and he told me I was going to be sorry when we got home…

"And?" Rachel prompted softly. "You're doing great, Callen, concentrate. What happened when you got home?"

Callen shook his head and opened his eyes. "I don't know…It's all just a big blank," he said in frustration. "I can't remember."

"Try to focus…focus on leaving the car. What happened next?"

"I said I don't know!" Callen snapped. "It's like Sam said, I guess I got thrown in a closet. Does it really matter?"

"Unfortunately, I think it does matter," Rachel explained gently. "These memories are affecting you, disrupting your life…I'm afraid it's only going to get worse."

"You don't know that for sure though," Callen said.

Rachel shook her head. "No…no, you're right about that. I don't know. I'm just speculating based on past experience. We'll just keep working at it…hopefully you'll have a breakthrough. But for now…just think about what I said, no pressure though. Also, I wanted to get your permission to speak with Ms. Lange and your doctors about you possibly going back to work."

"Isn't that off the table now?" Callen asked, afraid to get his hopes up.

"No," Rachel replied, looking back at him curiously. "Why? Is there some reason it should be?"

Callen shrugged. "I just thought…with everything still going on with me…"

"I won't lie to you, Callen. There is no way I would even consider clearing you for field work, even if your doctor said it was okay, but part-time work in the office could possibly be beneficial to you. I'd like to get your supervisor's input on that."

Callen considered that for a few moments then sighed and nodded. "It's fine…you can talk to Hetty…"

"Okay then, I actually think that's enough for today. I don't want you to stress yourself out thinking about this. Try to have some fun if you can. Get out and get some fresh air, try to relax."

"Alright," Callen said as he walked Rachel to the doorway. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Cheer up," Rachel said to him. "It's not the end of the world. It's just going to take some time. Have a good day."

xxxxx

"I guess you're free to go now," Callen said, walking back into the living room where Sam was sitting. "I assume Kensi and Deeks will be back for babysitting duty before too long."

"Come off it, G," Sam said, a little bit miffed. "I know you don't want to think so, but I did you a favor coming here last night. Trust me, you weren't in the best shape when I arrived."

Callen looked down at the floor, feeling ashamed of his behavior. "I know you did me a favor, Sam…I'm sorry. I do appreciate you coming over here last night. I'm just…I'm really tired of all of this. But seriously, it's your last day to spend time with Michelle and Kamran…you should go home."

"I heard what Rachel said. Why don't we take off and go do something fun? Take a ride somewhere, let the wind blow through our hair."

Callen couldn't help but laugh at that. "I'd like to see the wind blowing through your hair, Sam. How exactly are you going to accomplish that? Are we going to Wig World first?"

Sam grinned at his partner, glad to see a smile on his face. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Actually, yeah I kind of would," Callen said. "An afro would be good, a really big one or dreadlocks maybe? What do you think?"

"Keep it up and I think I'll be tossing you out the window soon."

Callen sighed softly as the smile slowly left his face. He missed bantering with his partner. He knew that even if he was allowed to return to work, and that was a big if, he wouldn't be riding around with Sam. Deeks would be.

"Come on G…one step at a time," Sam said softly. "You're going to get back to full duty. I know you are."

"Are you a mind reader, Sam?" Callen asked, not bothering to deny that was what he'd been thinking of.

Sam shook his head. "No…I just know my partner pretty well by now."

Callen nodded. "Yeah, I guess you do," he said softly, appearing lost in thought. "But really, Sam…Go home to your wife and daughter. I'm okay."

Sam looked back at his partner, reluctance painted all over his face.

"It's daytime…I'll be fine. I'll do something fun with Kensi and Deeks."

Sam cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. "Really? Like what?"

Callen shrugged. "I don't know. They do a lot of stuff, Sam."

"They're going back to work tomorrow, only stuff they're probably doing today is laundry."

"It doesn't matter anyhow," Callen said. "I'm kind of tired and don't tell me you're not tired, because I'd see right through you."

"Okay, G…You've made your point," Sam said as he got to his feet. "I'll go, just... call me if you need me for anything, alright?"

"I will. I promise. And Sam? Be careful out there tomorrow."

"I will, you take care of yourself…"

xxxxx

Callen was in the living room, browsing the Internet on his laptop, when Kensi and Deeks returned home. "Hey Callen," Deeks said. Monty had come over to greet him and he squatted down and patted the dog affectionately. "Who's a good boy?" He then stood up and looked at Callen. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," Callen said. "How was your trip?"

"It was great," Kensi enthused as she maneuvered her crutches into the living room and sat beside him on the sofa. "We stayed in the most beautiful place."

"And it was free," Deeks said with a grin. "Although Kensi insisted we buy new clothes this morning…so actually, not really so free after all." He was about to question Callen about what had happened the previous night, but Callen appeared fine and the topic would likely only upset him so he decided not to. He'd call Sam later if he had the chance. "Anyhow, we're starved after the drive. You have lunch yet?"

Callen shook his head. "No, not yet."

"I'm in the mood for tacos," Deeks said. "Any objections?"

Both Callen and Kensi shook their heads. "Need some help?" Callen asked as he made a move to get up from the sofa.

"No, I'm good for now," Deeks said. "You can do the dishes afterwards, if you'd like."

"Besides, I have something for you," Kensi said, smiling at Callen. "Deeks? Can you grab my purse?" Deeks nodded, then picked up Kensi's purse from the floor and handed it to her. He then headed into the kitchen.

"So," Kensi said as she reached into the purse and pulled out a brown paper bag, which she handed to Callen. "I know you're probably going to think this is silly, but…I just saw it and I wanted you to have it."

"What is it?" Callen asked, holding the bag in his hand, but not making any attempt to open it.

"It's not going to bite you, Callen," Deeks called from the kitchen, "but we brought some fudge back with us, which you are definitely going to want to bite into later on."

"Open it," Kensi coaxed him with a smile.

Callen opened the bag and looked inside. "A dream catcher?" he asked as he slowly pulled it out of the bag. Inside the blue circle, was an intricate double star design made of fine thread. Hanging off the circle were three hanging strings of beads with feathers attached to each one. "Thanks, Kens. It's really nice."

"And it matches your eyes," Deek said in a high-pitched voice, coming back into the living room with a grin on his face. "Just thought you'd want to know that. Kensi made sure to tell me that when she found it."

"Oh be quiet," Kensi said. She took the brown paper bag and crumpled it up into a ball, then threw it at Deeks' head. She threw her arms up into the air when it hit her target. "Booyah!"

Deeks rolled his eyes and went back into the kitchen as Kensi turned back to Callen, her expression serious once again. "I know you and I don't really talk about your nightmares, but, I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and I really hope you get better soon, Callen…"

"Thank you."

"Maybe it'll help you sleep a little easier at night," Kensi said. "Stranger things have happened." She shrugged. "Or maybe not… I don't know… At the very least, it will give you a nice little decoration for your house when you go home."

Callen nodded then looked at Kensi, his eyes serious. "You know Kensi…It's nothing personal why I don't talk to you about the nightmares, it's just…"

"Please don't worry about it," Kensi said. "I understand. All I want for you are the same things you want for yourself. For you to be able to come back to work full-time and to be able to go home, and that's NOT because we don't want you here. It's just that I know it's what you want. Deeks and I both want you to be happy." She then shifted herself closer to Callen and turned to give him a hug. "Everything's going to be okay, Callen…I know it is."

xxxxx

The dream catcher didn't work its magic that night. Callen awoke twice from intense nightmares, feeling terrified with his heart pounding out of control. The second time, he could hear Deeks pacing the hallway, but he didn't come into Callen's room, which he was grateful for. Finally, Callen was able to get back to sleep and when he awoke, Kensi and Deeks had already left for work. He went down into the kitchen and made himself some toast, then went back upstairs to shower and dress before heading off to meet Rachel at the beach.

xxxxx

"Good morning," Sam greeted Kensi and Deeks as they came into the bullpen area. Once he took a good look at them though, he couldn't help but notice that both agents looked extremely tired. "Bad night?" he asked with growing concern.

Kensi and Deeks exchanged a look, but neither of them said anything.

"Come on, guys," Sam said. "Don't keep things from me. He's my partner."

"First, why don't you tell us what happened the other night, since I didn't get a chance to call you yesterday," Deeks said. He took Kensi's crutches as she settled herself behind her desk and Sam came over to them.

"Keep an eye out for Hetty," Sam said, keeping his voice low. "I don't want her overhearing any of this. He was pretty freaked out the other night…He was backed up into a corner of his room on the floor and he thought he was only six years old. He was scared and thought he was locked in a closet after having been beaten."

"Oh my God, Sam," Kensi said, her eyes beginning to fill. "What kinds of monsters do that kind of thing to a six year old?"

"The kinds of monsters Callen lived with," Deeks stated grimly. He had also lived with a monster, but in his case, it was one drunk and abusive monster, who had been well-known to him. Callen had moved 37 times, never really knowing what he was going to get from one home to another. Deeks could fully understand why Callen had blocked out some of his memories.

"Anyhow, after all this happened, I gave him an ultimatum," Sam said. "I told him either he told Rachel what was going on with him or I was going to."

"He must not have taken that very well," Deeks said, actually surprised that Sam had done that.

"No…no he didn't," Sam said with a shake of his head. "But I thought it was necessary. Keeping things from her isn't helping him…well, I didn't think so anyhow. Rachel wasn't all that impressed with what I did though, not after G told her I threatened him…"

"Did he?" Deeks couldn't help but smirk when he heard that and Kensi bit back a smile as Sam glared at them. "Come on, Sam," Deeks said. "You've got to admit it's funny that he tried to turn the tables on you. Would you rather he just kowtow to whatever you want? I think its better that he still has fight in him."

Sam sighed and finally nodded his head. "I didn't really think of it that way," he said, relenting. "I guess you're right. But you still haven't told me why you're looking so tired today."

"It really isn't a big deal, Sam," Deeks said. "Just more of the same."

"Nightmares?"

Kensi and Deeks both nodded.

"How was he this morning?" Sam asked.

"We actually didn't see him this morning," Kensi answered. "We didn't want to wake him if he was still asleep."

"Well, at least he has a session with Rachel today," Sam said. "Hopefully…" He stopped talking abruptly when Hetty entered the bullpen.

"Hopefully what, Mr. Hanna?" Hetty asked, smiling.

"Hetty! Are you happy to have us back?" Deeks asked, bestowing a full-fledged smile on the operations manager.

"Indeed I am, Mr. Deeks," said Hetty. "It is very good to see the three of you back where you belong. How is your ankle, Ms. Blye?"

"Getting better every day, Hetty," Kensi said with a smile.

Hetty turned to Sam. "I trust that you and your family are well?"

"Everything is good with us," Sam replied.

"Okay then, I've sent each of you an email with some things that need catching up on. Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks, the two of you will be partnered up for the time being, and there are freshly baked muffins over by the coffee. Welcome back to the three of you."

"That's a relief," Deeks said, not speaking until Hetty was sitting in her office. "At least she didn't interrogate us about Callen." He, for one, didn't want to be put in a position between his friend and team leader and Hetty.

"I guess so," Sam said, looking thoughtfully in Hetty's direction. "But, somehow…I think she already has whatever information she may have been looking for."

"What do you mean, Sam?" Kensi asked.

"G gave Rachel permission to speak to Hetty…I think maybe she's already done that."

xxxxx

Callen dressed casually in a pair of khaki shorts and a light blue t-shirt then headed to the beach. As usual, he got there early and took a walk. However, he was tired and his heart wasn't really in it, so he cut the walk short and headed back to where he was to meet Rachel. As he approached the area though, he saw Hetty waiting there, sitting on a bench. He ignored his first impulse which was to hightail it back to his car and he cautiously approached her. "Hetty," he said, giving her a wary look as he stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh, Mr. Callen, please don't look at me like that," Hetty said. "I assure you, I come in peace."

"I told Rachel I wasn't ready to do a therapy session with you in attendance, but yet, here you are."

"It's not that at all," Hetty said, trying to reassure him. "I asked Ms. Cranston if she would come a little bit late so I could speak with you. I'm not here to barge into your therapy session or to cause you any distress. Now, please, won't you sit down so we can talk?"

"Are there men in white coats hiding out somewhere to force me into an institution?" Callen asked, only partially kidding as he sat down next to her.

"If I remember correctly, I simply said you would have to be readmitted into a suitable hospital if you didn't follow doctor's orders. I never said you would be locked up in an institution, Mr. Callen."

Callen sighed and gazed out at the water. He didn't particularly feel like arguing with Hetty today. "So if you're not planning to lock me up, what did you want to speak to me about?"

"Ms. Cranston and I had a long talk yesterday. She really is a very charming woman." Hetty looked up at Callen who was looking out at the water, seemingly not paying any attention to her at all. "Mr. Callen? I'd really appreciate at least the pretense of you listening to me when I'm talking to you."

"I was listening, Hetty," Callen said, turning his head and focusing his eyes on her. "You said that Rachel is very charming."

"Yes, well…" Hetty stopped, momentarily losing her train of thought. "She mentioned how badly you want to go back to work."

Callen nodded. "Yes, that's true."

"At first, I didn't really think it was a good idea, but, upon further introspection, I realized that going back part-time would likely be good for you."

"You did?" Callen asked. His eyes brightened and he smiled tentatively at the older woman. "Really?"

"Yes," Hetty said nodding. "Of course, she needs to speak to Dr. Bryant today, and at the first sign of any deterioration, you'll be taken off work immediately, but for now, if Dr. Bryant okays it, I'll allow you back from 9:30 to 1:30 each day or you can work afternoons if you'd prefer to sleep late in the morning."

"When did you ever know me to sleep late in the mornings?" Callen asked Hetty.

Hetty shook her head. "Things are different now, Mr. Callen. You've been through a lot and you are still recovering."

"I'll take the morning shift," Callen stated.

"If you're cleared by Dr. Bryant," Hetty reminded him.

Callen nodded.

"Good morning, everyone," Rachel said as she came over to where Callen and Hetty were talking. "Everyone good today?"

"I'm good," Callen said, turning to Rachel with a friendly smile.

"It's very nice to finally meet you in person, Ms. Cranston," Hetty said, offering the other woman her hand.

"It's nice to meet you as well," Rachel said. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Hmm…" Hetty said, looking over at Callen who gave her an innocent smile. "On that note, I'm going to take my leave and head back to the office. "Perhaps I will see you again, sooner, rather than later," Hetty said to Callen.

"Thank you, Hetty," Callen said.

"Have a good session," Hetty said. She then waved to them and started walking back in the direction of her vehicle.

"So…I'm guessing that went okay?" Rachel asked, as she seated herself on the bench.

"Considering she's onboard with me going back to work, I think it did," Callen said.

Rachel looked at him, observing the dark circles under his eyes. "And did you sleep well last night?" she asked.

"It depends…"

"What does it depend on?" Rachel asked.

"On if me sleeping well is a condition of my returning to work," Callen said uneasily.

Rachel shook her head. "That's not how it works, Callen. Our main objective here is to get you well, not just to get you back to work part time, unless you're content with that and don't have plans to return to full time field duty."

"I had nightmares last night," Callen stated. "So, no…I didn't sleep particularly well and I'm pretty sure Kensi and Deeks didn't either, which is one reason I think it might be good for me to return home."

Rachel shook her head. "What happened the other night is a clear indicator of why you should not be allowed to return home. "

"Yeah, I realize that…just wishful thinking. I don't like disturbing Kensi and Deeks at night."

"So…you'd like to be somewhere else? Perhaps somewhere where the occupants wouldn't be disturbed?"

Callen looked back at Rachel, silently waiting, already having an idea of what she was getting at.

"Because…"

He shook his head. "If this is leading where I think its leading, I'm not going there."

"How do you know what I'm about to say?" Rachel asked.

"Because I'm pretty good at putting two and two together," Callen said. "And you've been talking to Hetty."

"Well…she did mention how much room she has at her home and the fact that she'd love for you to be there."

"No."

Rachel smiled. "I didn't think you'd want to, but I just thought I'd put it out there."

"I'm good where I am, with Kensi and Deeks."

"You know, she did extend an invitation for me to stay at her home as well."

Callen didn't even try to hide the look of horror that came over his face. "Please tell me you're not going to do that."

"Relax, Callen," Rachel said. "I'm here for you. Staying with Hetty would be a bit of a conflict of interest, so I told her thanks, but no thanks."

Callen breathed a sigh of relief.

"So…back to work…do you remember the nightmares you had last night?" Rachel asked him.

"No…" Callen shook his head. "I just woke up screaming and scared."

"And does that worry you?"

"Does it worry me?" Callen asked, surprised by the question. "Well, of course I don't like it. I'd like to be able to sleep straight through for a few hours without waking up or waking my friends."

"And if you could change one thing, right now, what would it be?"

Callen sighed as he looked out at the water, knowing Rachel wasn't going to scold him about doing so. "I guess…" He shrugged then looked back at Rachel. "I don't know."

"I think you can do better than that, Callen," Rachel prodded gently. "This isn't a difficult question."

"I'm not sure exactly what you're asking me. If I could change something in my whole life or are you asking me what I want to get out of therapy?"

"Well…I was just talking about therapy, but if you'd rather answer the other way, that has benefit as well. Answer in whatever way you'd like."

"I…" Callen turned his attention back to the water, and then looked at the beach itself, and let his thoughts go back to another beach, another time, so many years ago. "I would wish that my mother had never been killed," he said softly. "And that I hadn't lost my family."

"I can't imagine what that was like for you," Rachel said softly. "You were with your mom…when it happened?"

Callen nodded. "Yes…I don't remember a lot, just…just images, really. She was laughing…I was building sand castles… someone gave me a toy soldier, to distract me, I guess…but it didn't help. I saw the gun…" He shook his head and looked back at Rachel, his eyes filled with tears. "I don't really want to talk about this anymore…"

"That's fine," Rachel said. She couldn't help but think about how deep his wounds really went. Gibbs had told her a little bit and she had his files, but there was so much more that she didn't know, and that she suspected he didn't know himself. "We don't have to talk about that. Why don't we try to talk about the fair again?"

"I don't know what good that's going to do…I already told you I can't remember anymore."

"It doesn't hurt to try though, does it? Sam said that you said you were hurt."

Callen shifted his position uncomfortably then got up from the bench.

"You don't remember anything about that?"

"I said I didn't…it's just a blank."

"What about other times? Were you hurt in other homes you were placed in?"

"Why does it matter?" Callen asked looking down at Rachel. "Yeah, I was hurt. But none of those times had anything to do with me having these nightmares. I've moved on from my childhood. This…this is just… I don't know why I can't remember this particular time."

Rachel sighed softly, regretting that she had chosen the beach for this session. It was too public a place to be talking about these things.

"I know you're against it, Callen, but…I still think the hypnosis could help you. Do you mind just telling me why you feel so strongly?"

"I just…I don't want to lose control."

Rachel shook her head. "It's not like that though. I can't force you to say anything you don't want to say. It's just a way of helping you focus more, to really be able to concentrate on that particular day and maybe you'd be able to remember more that way. Hopefully, you could recall exactly what happened and why its having such an effect on you, so many years later."

"I don't know…" he wrapped his arms around himself, looking younger and very unsure.

"I'm not trying to force you and honestly, this isn't the way I usually do things, but…in this case, I think it could help."

"You've done it before though?" Callen asked, sitting back down on the bench.

Rachel nodded. "Yes I have and most of the times, I've had success. The times that weren't successful…the patients weren't any worse off because of us attempting it."

"I don't know…" Callen said softly, almost to himself. He didn't like the idea of it, but he was already tiring of the therapy sessions. The thought of going through them, on and on, day after day, had no appeal to him.

"Why don't you think about it some more?"

"Could Sam be there?" Callen asked.

"If you want him to be," Rachel said, nodding. "Whatever makes you most comfortable."

Callen mulled it over for a short while longer and then he finally nodded. "Okay," he said to Rachel. "I'll do it. I'll try the hypnosis…"


	69. Chapter 69

_Ugh…so sorry for the delay on this update and for the fact that this is basically a chapter about nothing. I really thought it was going to be the whole hypnosis scene, but I want to try to do it right (as right as I can do it anyhow) so it will be the next chapter. You can easily skip this chapter and you won't miss anything at all lol. Thanks for the support and I very much appreciate your patience._

xxxxx

After Rachel left, Callen continued to sit on the bench for a long time. He tried to focus on the events of that day, so long ago, thinking if he tried hard enough, he could remember what had happened. However, no matter how hard he tried, the memory remained beyond his reach. After about a half hour, he went back to his car and was going to head back to Kensi and Deeks' house, but instead he found himself outside his house. He went inside and wandered around the rooms, feeling oddly like a stranger in his own home. He sighed heavily and ended up in the living room where he sat in a chair and wondered what he had gotten himself into with agreeing to undergo hypnosis. He then pulled out his cell phone and dialed Sam's number.

xxxxx

Sam was in the midst of looking through an old case file when his cell phone rang. "Hey G," he answered as he clicked on the phone, hoping that everything was alright with his partner.

"Hi Sam..."

Sam waited patiently, knowing something had to be up for G to have called him. He didn't think he was calling just to make idle chitchat.

"How is it being back at work?" Callen asked.

"Kind of boring right now. Hetty has us finishing up paperwork on cases we hadn't fully closed out before the plane crash," Sam replied. He paused for an instant, but when Callen failed to say anymore, he went on. . "How's your day going?"

"It's okay...I decided to stop by my house. I'm here now..."

"Oh?" Sam wasn't sure why, but the thought of Callen being alone in his house made him slightly nervous, though it didn't really make sense that he should feel that way. The sun was shining brightly and there was no real possibility of darkness any time soon. "How was your session with Rachel?" he finally asked, after inwardly debating whether or not to do so.

"That's actually why I called..."

"Yeah?" Whatever this was about, his partner was obviously having a very hard time getting to the point.

"Yeah...uh..."

Sam found himself growing impatient and mentally told himself to be patient and just wait him out. He knew if he tried to rush G with this, he was likely to just shut down completely.

"You know how Rachel mentioned hypnosis…and I didn't think it was such a good idea… but, I've reconsidered…"

"Really?" Sam asked, somewhat surprised that his partner had changed his mind.

"Yes…and, well… I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind being there with me?" Callen asked, speaking uncharacteristically quickly. "I mean, if you can't, I understand. I realize you might not want to do it, but, I just thought I'd ask…"

"G, slow down," Sam said. "Of course I don't mind…whatever you need… When is this happening?"

"Tomorrow? Rachel said she'd work around your schedule. If you can't do it during the day, she said it could be after work. Whatever is good for you…"

Sam glanced over towards Hetty's office and saw that she was seated behind her desk. "Hetty's in her office…I can ask her about leaving early tomorrow and call you back." He paused. "What do you want me to tell her?"

"I…" Callen hesitated for so long that Sam wasn't sure he was still on the other end of the line.

"G? You still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here, Sam. Sorry. Just tell Hetty the truth, that I want you to come to an appointment. I'll leave it up to you how much detail you have to go into."

"Okay…you want to meet up for lunch?"

"Not today. I'm good. Just ask Hetty and call me back."

"Okay, G…I'll talk to you soon."

Sam clicked off the cell and looked over at Hetty's office once again. She was still there and he decided it was best to just bite the bullet and get it over with. He walked over to her office and stood in front of her desk, watching as she finished writing on a piece of paper. "Hello Hetty."

"Why hello, Mr. Hanna." Hetty put down her pen and looked up. "How is your first day back at work going?"

"Very well," Sam stated. "Getting through all the back paperwork."

"Good, good…" Hetty nodded with an approving smile. "Now what is it I can help you with?"

"Well, G called. I was wondering if I could take a half day tomorrow to go to his appointment with him? If not, he said, we can do it later in the day or tomorrow evening."

"Is everything alright?" Hetty asked, giving Sam a searching look.

Sam nodded. "Yes…"

"Its fine, Mr. Hanna. You can leave at whatever time works best for the three of you."

"Thank you, Hetty." Sam gave her an appreciative smile.

"You're very welcome, Mr. Hanna. I hope everything goes well for him."

"You and me both," Sam said, before heading back to the bullpen.

xxxxx

Sam called Callen back and the session was set for 3 o'clock the following afternoon. After that, Callen headed back to Kensi and Deeks' place. Once there, he knew he needed to release all the nervous energy he had pent up. He washed and dried the left over breakfast dishes, then swept and washed the floors, cleaned the windows and polished the furniture. By the time Kensi and Deeks arrived home from work, the place was spotless.

"Kensalina? Did you hire a maid and not tell me about it?" Deeks asked with a grin as they came in through the front door. "Just smell that lemony fresh scent."

"Callen, what did you do?" Kensi asked. It wasn't like the house had been a mess previously, but now it was showcase clean.

Callen shrugged. "No big deal. I was looking for something to do."

"Well, I guess you found it," Deeks said. "Thanks, Callen."

"Yes, thank you. The place looks very nice," said Kensi. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to do these things for us though."

"I don't," Callen said. "Like I said, I was just looking for something to do."

"Well, as a reward, I'll make dinner for you," Deeks said. "Do you want hamburgers, cheeseburgers or Deeksburgers?"

Callen glanced over at Kensi who was smiling. "Should I even ask?"

"Probably not," Kensi said with a giggle. "And I think you ought to pass on the Deeksburger. You never know what you're going to get. It could be almost anything and sometimes his experiments aren't too palatable."

"I think I'll stick with a regular cheeseburger then," Callen decided.

Kensi nodded approvingly. "Good decision. I'll have the same."

"Aww, you two have no sense of adventure," Deeks said as he headed into the kitchen to begin the dinner preparations.

"So, how was your first day back?" Callen asked Kensi as she settled down on the sofa next to him.

"It was okay," she said. "A little boring, but I guess I need to get used to that since I won't be back in the field for a while."

He nodded. "Well, I spoke to Hetty today and she's onboard with me returning to the office part-time, so maybe you'll have some company."

"Really?" Kensi smiled brightly. "That's very good news, Callen," she said. "I'm so happy for you."

"Good news? I could use some good news," Deeks said, coming into the living room from the kitchen.

"Hetty's going to let Callen go back to the office part-time," Kensi said.

"Yeah? That is good news. I'm really glad for you, man. Do you know when you'll be returning?"

Callen shook his head. "No, I'm not exactly sure. I'll probably have to see the doctor again to be cleared by him and…I need to try to work through something with Rachel as well."

"Well, hopefully it'll be soon," Deeks said as he went back into the kitchen.

Callen nodded. He hoped it would be soon, as well, but first he needed to worry about getting through the next day.

xxxxx

Callen dozed lightly on and off throughout the night, never really falling into a deep or restful sleep. He was far too anxious for that to even be a possibility. After Kensi and Deeks had left for work the next morning, he headed to the beach and took a long walk. On the way home, he stopped by the Farmer's Market and slowly browsed at the various goods, just for something to do. He purchased some fresh fruit and vegetables to bring back to the house, along with some freshly baked cupcakes. When he reached the tea stall, he bought a specialty blend for Hetty and for himself he got a blend which the vendor assured him worked wonders for calming a person's anxiety. He figured it wouldn't hurt to drink some before Rachel arrived. When he arrived back at the house, he forced himself to sit down and watch some television in an attempt to relax. He figured if he kept cleaning the house, which didn't need to be cleaned, Kensi and Deeks were going to think he was certifiable.

At a little after 1 p.m., a knock sounded on the door. He got up and found Sam waiting outside. "Hey, Sam," he said, surprised to see his partner. "I didn't expect you until closer to 3."

"Hetty kicked me out of the office early. She told me to bring you some lunch," Sam said.

"Oh yeah? So what did you bring me?" Callen asked, a faint smile on his lips. He really wasn't particularly hungry, but he was glad to see his friend.

"I went to The Country Kitchen, brought you some chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich," Sam said as he followed Callen into the house.

"Comfort food," Callen said, nodding his head with a knowing smile. "Did you think I needed comforting?" he asked.

"Well, I thought it probably wouldn't hurt," Sam admitted as he put the bag down on the kitchen countertop.

"You're right about that," Callen said agreeably. He got some drinks from the refrigerator and the two men sat down to eat.

"So how are you doing?" Sam asked, after taking he had eaten a forkful of his salad.

Callen shrugged. "I don't really know. I guess I'm nervous about this, but then I ask myself why, because in all honestly, I don't even think it's going to work."

"Probably not the best attitude to have going into it, G," Sam said.

"I know," Callen said with a nod, "but I can't help but feel skeptical, Sam."

"Though you're still willing to try it anyway?"

"Yeah, I am," Callen said. "I'd like to try to get my life back if it's possible. It just seems so long since the plane crash…so long since I felt normal."

Sam nodded. "I'm sure that's frustrating for you, but even if it works, it's probably not an instant cure all," he cautioned his partner.

"I know that, but it probably brings me closer than I am now." Callen said, looking into the cup which contained the soup. He'd been slowly sipping all the broth so now there were homemade noodles, chicken pieces, celery and carrots left at the bottom. He took a big spoonful and ate it. "I'm not sure how much longer I can stick to this daily therapy stuff…it's not my thing, Sam, you know?"

"Yeah, I know it's not," Sam said, giving his friend a sympathetic look. He really hoped this worked out for him too. He wanted his partner back at work, probably just as much as G wanted to be there.

xxxxx

After lunch, Callen and Sam sat in front of the television and chatted about inconsequential things as Callen slowly drank a cup of tea. "You sure you don't want some?" he asked Sam. "It's pretty good."

Sam looked at his partner in amusement. "Why? Do you think I need calming?"

"I don't know," Callen said with a shrug, "I might, if the situation was reversed."

"I'm fine, G," Sam stated. "You just worry about yourself."

Callen nodded as he looked at the clock nervously. He'd been constantly clock watching for the last hour, getting more and more nervous as the time neared for Rachel's arrival.

"It's going to be okay," Sam said, noting Callen's obvious anxiety, in spite of the supposed calming effect of the tea. "I'll be right here with you."

Callen nodded, managing a forced smile. "I know you will, Sam," he said softly. "And I really do appreciate it."

Sam nodded and was about to say more when a knock on the door stopped him. The two men exchanged a long look as Callen got up from the sofa to let Rachel into the house. "Here goes nothing…" he said softly.


	70. Chapter 70

_Sorry it's taken so long to get this out. I had a really hard time with this chapter and I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I want to move on so…it is what it is, I guess. Thanks for your support, as always._

xxxxx

Rachel stepped inside the house, her eyes on Callen. Although he was trying to mask it, she could see he was anxious, which was to be expected. "How are you doing, Callen?" she asked him.

"I'm good," he said, but his slight shrug and the almost frightened look in his blue eyes said differently.

"Hello, Sam." Rachel smiled at Callen's partner as she entered the living room. She couldn't help but notice that he looked almost as tense as his partner. "I'm glad you were able to come."

"Of course," Sam said, returning her smile. "I'll do whatever it takes to help G."

Rachel nodded, the smile still on her lips. Even though Callen had grown up without a family, he was lucky in that he now had the support and love of his partner and his team. They seemed like a very loyal group. She turned to Callen. "Why don't you sit or lie down wherever you would feel most comfortable."

"Okay…" Callen stretched out on the sofa in a semi-recumbent position as Sam brought a chair over and placed it next to the sofa for Rachel to sit on. Callen laid back with his head leaning on a pillow, which was positioned against the arm of the sofa. He then tried to relax himself as much as he could before looking to Rachel for further instructions. With that, Rachel slowly began to guide Callen into a state of relaxation, a little bit at a time. After about twenty minutes or so, Rachel began to notice the signs that Callen had entered a hypnotic state. His breathing had slowed down, his facial features had smoothed out and his body was perfectly still.

"Callen can you hear me?" Rachel asked, observing him carefully.

"Yes, I can hear you," he answered softly.

"Okay…I want you to go back in time, back to the day when you were at the carnival and you got stuck on the ferris wheel with your foster mom and foster sister. Can you remember that day?"

"Yes, I can remember."

"You reached the ground safely and your foster father came to bring you home. Do you remember that?"

"I remember," Callen said, sounding calm and almost sleepy. "Donald was very angry."

Rachel nodded. "I know he was angry, but that is in the past. You can remember what happened, but he can't hurt you now, okay?"

"Okay." Callen nodded agreeably.

"You were on your way home…then what happened?"

"He…he was being really mean to Brenda. I didn't like it. I told him he was mean, that he wasn't supposed to make girls cry. He didn't like when I said that. He said he was going to make me cry when we got back to the house…"

"It was very brave of you to try to stand up to him," Rachel said. "What happened next?"

"I had eaten a lot of junk at the carnival…I felt sick to my stomach. I said I was going to be sick. I…I couldn't help it. I threw up all over Donald's car. He…he got really angry…angrier than before. He said I'd be sorry. He said I was going to wish I'd never been born." During his recitation of the memories, Callen was becoming obviously agitated as his breathing grew faster and heavier.

"Callen," Rachel said. "Remember…This is all in the past. You will remember what happened, but he cannot hurt you. You're safe. I am here with you and Sam is too. You're fine."

Callen's breathing slowed again as he appeared to calm down. When he seemed to be back in control, Rachel continued. "Donald drove you all back to the house. Can you remember what happened when you got home?"

"I…I got out of the car and Donald got out right after me. He grabbed me and started dragging me into the house. I tried to get away from him and screamed at him to let me go. He smacked me in the face and dragged me inside. I…I got away from him…but…" Callen hesitated, his breathing once again growing irregular and out of control.

"Callen…remember what I said. You're safe…he can't hurt you anymore. Are you okay? Can you keep going?"

Callen took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes…I can keep going." He paused for a few long moments and then continued. "He…he started to beat me. I…I tried to protect myself, but he was too big…too strong. I couldn't get away from him or escape from his punches. He just wouldn't stop…he kicked me in the ribs and…he just kept punching me...I…I thought he was going to kill me. Then, finally he stopped. He…he threw me in the closet and locked me inside. I was hurt so bad and I couldn't stop shaking…I…I was so cold. I pulled a coat down from a hanger and covered myself with it to try to keep warm. Then, I fell asleep."

Rachel took a deep breath and glanced over at Sam who looked sickened by what he was hearing. "Can you remember any more?" she asked gently.

"I…I woke up and was so scared to still be in the closet. I…I couldn't see anything. It was pitch black. I was so scared and in so much pain. I pounded on the door and cried for help. Donald told me to shut up. He…he said I would die in that closet. He said that I…I would rot away and the rats would eat me. I'm not sure how long he left me in there, but everything hurt. I was really hungry and thirsty and I couldn't breathe so good. Every time I woke up, the pain was worse…I was sure I was going to die all alone in there…No one was going to help me…nobody cared…"

Sam got up from his chair and went over to the window as he stared outside. There were tears in his eyes which were brimming over and trickling down his cheeks. He couldn't stand to hear what Callen was relaying. Hearing what his partner had gone through as a six-year-old child shook him to his very core.

"Do you remember who got you out of the closet?" Rachel asked.

Callen shook his head. "I…I don't know. One time, I just woke up and I wasn't there anymore…I was in the hospital…alone…I never saw Donald or Brenda again… I would have liked to have seen Brenda. She had always been nice to me. I knew she was afraid of Donald too. If she hadn't been, she would have helped me. I hated being alone in the hospital. There were lots of needles and medicine. I was so scared and lonely…Other kids had families visiting them…I…I had no one…The doctors didn't really even explain anything to me. I was so little and I didn't understand what was going on. I…I wanted my mom…I wanted her so bad… Some of the nurses were nice though. I guess they felt sorry for me or something...poor little orphan boy..."

Sam turned away from the window and looked back at Callen through sad eyes. This experience explained so much, not only about Callen's fear of the darkness but likely about his feelings towards hospitals as well. No wonder he hated them so much.

"One of the nurses gave me a teddy bear. I used to call him Freddy. I really loved that stupid bear until one of the big kids at a foster home took him from me. When I asked the foster father to get him back for me, he said, 'It's a dog eat dog world, kid. If you can't take care of your own things, you don't deserve to have them…' That guy was a real jerk…"

"Stop this," Sam whispered, obviously in distress from all that he was hearing. His heart went out to that little boy who had been so alone in the world and he couldn't even have a damn teddy bear for comfort. He didn't want to hear any more. He didn't want Callen to go through any more. Rachel nodded in agreement. She had heard enough also.

"Callen?" Rachel said in a loud and firm voice. "I'm going to count to three. When I reach three, you will wake up. You will still be able to remember everything that you've seen, but you will see it as a past memory, not as a present one. Okay, one…two…three…Callen, open your eyes."

Callen opened his eyes and looked at Rachel and then at Sam. Rachel appeared calm and collected as she always did. Sam, on the other hand, did not. He appeared to be emotionally overwrought.

"Callen? How are you feeling?" Rachel asked.

He looked at her as he considered the question. "Alright, I think," he finally answered.

"Do you remember what happened that day?"

Callen thought for a few moments then slowly nodded. "I do remember…I remember all of it."

"That's good," Rachel said. "You did really well with this. What are you thinking now?"

"I don't know…" Callen shook his head slowly. "I'm still not really sure exactly how bad it was. After being in that closet a certain amount of time, I lost all sense of reality. It's just a blur really. I know I was really out of it and in a lot of pain."

Rachel nodded. "I'd say it's a good bet you were in there for quite some time, Callen. It would explain a lot."

"I'd like to get my hands on that guy," Sam said, the sadness he had been feeling now replaced by anger. "I'd like to rip him limb from limb for what he did to you."

"I'm okay, Sam," Callen said quietly.

"Well, I'm not okay," Sam stated. "I just don't get it, G…none of this should have happened to you. Someone should have protected you. These social service people just threw you from one bad situation into another. It wasn't right."

"They weren't all bad, Sam," Callen said. "Some of them were okay, some even good, like the Rostoffs…"

"Not enough of them," Sam said, shaking his head. "Not enough of them, G…"

"Sam…" Rachel said with a cautioning tone. It wasn't going to help Callen if he got caught up in dwelling on the bad memories. She wanted him to move past them, not get bogged down in the admittedly sad details of his childhood.

"I'm sorry," Sam said, hanging his head. He knew his being all upset wasn't going to help G. He was going to have to get past these feelings on his own.

"It's okay," Rachel said, giving Sam a smile. "I understand your feelings. He's your best friend. Of course you're going to be affected by what he went through."

Sam nodded, but he didn't say any more. He didn't want to upset Callen. He'd gone through enough already. He didn't know where to focus all the different feelings he had running through his head. Garrison bore a brunt of the blame, but Sam had no idea where Callen's so-called father even was. There was another person who Sam blamed though and as soon as Kensi and Deeks got home from work, he was going to go and have a nice little talk with that person.

Sam was going to head to Dovecote and confront Hetty.


	71. Chapter 71

_As always, thank you so much for reading and all your nice comments. They are very much appreciated :)_

xxxxx

Deeks and Kensi watched in surprise as Sam prepared to leave, only moments after they arrived home. He barely spoke to them except to tell them to keep an eye on Callen, his expression preoccupied and seemingly angry. He then said a hurried goodbye to Callen and quickly left the house. "Call me if G needs me," he said to them, right before closing the door.

They both went into the living room where Callen was huddled on one end of the sofa. He didn't seem to be aware of their presence and looked like he was a million miles away. "I'm going to go into our bedroom for a while," Kensi said softly. Callen seemed to respond better to Deeks at times like these so she decided to make herself scarce for a bit.

Deeks watched as Kensi slowly left the room. He then sat down on the sofa beside Callen. "Hey, Callen," he said. "How are you doing?"

Callen turned towards Deek, registering his presence for the first time since he and Kensi had arrived back at the house. "I'm alright, Deeks." He then looked around the living room, appearing puzzled. "Sam's gone?"

"Yeah…he said goodbye to you…"

"Oh…guess I was lost in my thoughts," Callen said. "So…did you have a good day?"

"It was okay," Deeks said with a shrug. "Are you alright? Can I do anything for you?"

Callen slowly shook his head. "No…there isn't anything you can do. Thanks for asking though…I appreciate it."

"If you feel like talking, I'm a pretty good listener."

Callen looked back at Deeks and momentarily considered talking to the younger man, but then thought better of it. He didn't really think talking about it would help. He didn't particularly want to think about what he had uncovered under hypnosis. Now that he had remembered what he had blocked out for so long, he really just wanted to forget it again.

xxxxx

Sam seethed as he drove towards Dovecote. His partner had been very quiet after the hypnosis session. Callen hadn't wanted to talk about what had been revealed, not that he could blame him. It was a lot to take in, just more bad memories to add to his collection. He hadn't told G where he was going, what he was going to do. He wasn't even sure himself what he was going to say to Hetty. He just knew he had to say something. Once Sam had parked his Challenger in front of Hetty's home, he walked to the front door, rang the bell and waited. After a short wait, Brian, Hetty's assistant and sometimes bodyguard, came to the door.

"Agent Hanna," Brian said, looking a bit surprised to see Sam. "Was Miss Lange expecting you?"

Sam shook his head. "No…she isn't expecting me. Is she here?"

"She is." Brian stood aside so that Sam could enter the house. "Please, go into the living room and make yourself comfortable. I'll tell her that you're here."

Sam went into the living room and took a seat on the sofa. However, he only sat for about a minute or so before he stood back up and began to restlessly pace around the living room.

"Mr. Hanna, this is an unexpected surprise," Hetty interrupted his pacing a few minutes later when she entered the living room. "Would you care for some tea? I have some new blends which are quite nice."

"No thank you," Sam replied in a clipped tone.

"Please, why don't you take a seat," Hetty suggested as she sat down on the sofa. Sam sighed softly, then finally did as she requested, sitting down on the sofa as well. Hetty then looked up at him expectantly. "So…what brings you out here this evening? I'm guessing it has something to do with your partner?"

"Yes…" Sam nodded as he tried to find the exact words for what it was he wanted to say.

"Did things not go well today?" Hetty asked, looking concerned. She wasn't sure why Sam had left early to take part in Callen's session, but she had hoped for a positive result. Sam's expression made her suspect otherwise though.

"Things went fine," Sam stated abruptly. "If G finally remembering details of a certain traumatic incident from when he was six years old is a good thing. Did you know about it?"

"Did I know about it?" Hetty repeated, obviously stunned by what Sam had asked.

"Either you knew or you didn't. It's not a difficult question," Sam said. "Did you know he was brutally beaten, locked in a closet for God knows how long and hospitalized?"

"Three days," Hetty whispered.

"What?" Sam asked.

"He was in the closet for three days…"

Sam shook his head. "You knew? You knew but you didn't even go to see him in the hospital? He was all alone. Do you know how scared he was? My God, Hetty. He was pretty much just a baby. Six years old, to have been beaten like that. How could you have left him on his own like that? I don't understand…"

"I wasn't there, Sam…I didn't know. I didn't even know he was in this country until two years after his mother was murdered. I found him in an orphanage. He was placed there after this foster placement went bad."

"How do you know it was three days?"

I read his records when I found him. Brenda Murphy confessed everything. She finally got him out of the closet and basically ran, confessing everything after she brought him to the hospital. Her husband was arrested and then did some prison time…"

Sam nodded, at least partially satisfied that Donald had done time for what he had done to Callen, although as far as he was concerned, whatever amount of time he had served, hadn't been enough. He then went on to mention something else that had been troubling him. "Why didn't anyone ever adopt him?" Sam asked. "A cute, blonde-haired, blue-eyed little boy? It doesn't make sense to me. Children like that are in demand." He'd seen enough childhood pictures of Callen to know he was the type of child perspective adoptive parents searched for.

Hetty shook her head sadly. "He was a challenging child…"

"That's bullshit, Hetty," Sam said heatedly. "How challenging could he have been? What did he do? Throw tantrums? Can you blame him? He'd seen his mother murdered and then was ripped from his family. He was traumatized. What the hell would you expect? There are people who adopt troubled children. There must have been someone out there who could have helped him, or at least tried…"

"I had to protect him. This was the best way I knew how," Hetty said. "The Comescus were always a threat to him."

"A stable family would have been the best thing for him. You could have protected him."

"It was best that he didn't stay in one place for too long. I didn't even have a home back then, Sam," Hetty said, trying to keep her emotions under control. "I was always on assignment. Contrary to what you may think, I could not have provided a suitable home life for him back then."

"You know people, Hetty. There was no one who could have helped? No one who could have taken him and his sister in?" Sam was having a very hard time processing this. The thought of his children having to go through anything like this made him physically sick to his stomach. He couldn't bear that his partner had endured these kinds of hardships. It just wasn't right.

"Don't you think I feel guilty about what he went through…what his family went through?" Hetty asked. "Don't you think I wish I had done something different to have kept him safe and his mother and sister alive? I've lived with this for a lot of years…Decades, Mr. Hanna. It's something I'll never be able to put behind me."

"I still don't understand why no one wanted him," Sam persisted. "No matter how supposedly **_challenging_** , as you put it, he was."

"There was always the chance his father would come for him…I didn't think adoption would be in his best interests, especially if the Comescus were to find him."

"Did you prevent him from being adopted?" Sam asked, his eyes piercing as he stared back at Hetty.

"There was never a family found that would have been suitable for him. With his family history, adoption could have proven to be problematic," Hetty stated. "A long term foster placement would have been the best solution. Then, we could have gotten him out at a moment's notice, if necessary. Unfortunately, none of them ever seemed to work out."

Sam ran his hand over his face and looked at her again. "Does he know this?" he asked her.

Hetty slowly shook her head. "I never really thought it would serve a useful purpose to bring it up."

"He's always thought no one wanted him," Sam said sadly. "You don't think it would be a good thing for him to know that it wasn't his fault he was never adopted?"

"I thought he had moved past these things, Mr. Hanna. I didn't see any point in drudging up memories I thought were long gone."

"Well, they're not long gone, Hetty. He's still blocking traumatic events, which is why this whole hypnosis thing happened today."

"Hypnosis?" Hetty asked. This was the first she'd heard about that. "I didn't know…"

"I've probably already said too much," Sam stated, uncomfortable with sharing things his friend might have preferred be kept confidential. "He doesn't even know I came here, but…I had to come. I needed to get this off my chest. I hate seeing him in so much pain. He's been through enough and it never seems to end."

"I had no idea…I thought perhaps he could go back to work, but maybe that's not a good idea…"

"No!" Sam's anxiety was apparent in his eyes. "You already told him he could. You can't stop him now. This has nothing to do with his ability to work, Hetty. You're only going to make things worse for him if you prevent him from working. He's bored out of his mind. He needs to work."

Hetty gazed back at Sam thoughtfully. "I'll think about what you've said, Mr. Hanna. I do think I need to have a talk with him. It seems that I need to rethink some things. In lieu of what has transpired, a good talk with Mr. Callen is long overdue."

"Just…please go easy on him, Hetty," Sam pleaded. "He…I don't think he can take much more…"

"I promise that I'll be gentle with him," Hetty assured Sam. "Contrary to what you may think…I care about him very much."

"I know you do, Hetty," Sam said. He'd said his piece. He just hoped that things weren't going to get worse because of what he'd done. "I'm going to head home now…good night."

"Good night, Sam," Hetty said. She watched as Sam headed to the front door and then her thoughts turned to Callen as she began to ponder what exactly she would say to him.

xxxxx

As Sam headed back home after leaving Dovecote, his mind was filled with worry and doubts. He really hoped it hadn't been a bad decision on his part to speak with Hetty. All he knew was that he wanted to go home and give his daughter a hug. He was grateful that neither of his children had ever had to experience any of the kind of pain that G had gone through. He just wished with all his heart that his partner had been spared that pain as well.


	72. Chapter 72

_Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. Believe it or not, we're getting near the end (finally lol)_

xxxxx

Callen grabbed his ringing cell phone, but hesitated when he saw Hetty's name on the caller ID display. He couldn't help but think she wasn't calling him for a particularly good reason. Finally, he clicked on his phone and held it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Why hello, Mr. Callen," Hetty's voice greeted him. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to answer."

"I couldn't find my phone," Callen fibbed. "What's up, Hetty?"

"How are you doing today?" Hetty asked.

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"I'm quite well, thank you." Callen didn't speak further so Hetty went on. "I guess I'll get straight to the point. I'd like to speak with you, tomorrow if possible."

"What do you want to speak to me about?" Callen asked, already apprehensive about whatever it was Hetty wanted to discuss. Had Rachel filled Hetty in on the hypnosis session?

"Oh it's better that we wait and talk about this in person. Is there a particular time that I could come over?"

"I guess so…what time works best for you?" he asked.

"Well, when are you seeing Ms. Cranston?"

"Eleven."

"I'll come at nine. I'll even bring you breakfast."

"You don't have to do that," he protested.

"Oh, but I insist."

"Okay…I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," Callen said. "Good night, Hetty."

"Good night, Mr. Callen."

Callen clicked off his phone and sighed softly from his chair in the living room. Kensi, who was sitting on the sofa, looked up from the magazine she was reading and her eyes met Callen's. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah…fine. Hetty just wants to talk to me tomorrow…she wouldn't say why though…"

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Kensi said. "Maybe she just wants to talk to you about going back to work."

"Maybe…" Callen said, not particularly convinced of that.

"Hey guys, dinner is ready," Deeks said, as he came into the living room. He looked over at Callen and Kensi and couldn't help but notice the serious expressions on their faces. "What's up?"

"Nothing, Deeks… Just wondering why Hetty is paying me a visit tomorrow is all," Callen said as he got up from his chair. Kensi grabbed her crutches and followed suit and the three of them then went into the kitchen to have dinner.

xxxxx

That night, the more Callen tried to sleep, the more awake he was. This was surprising to him as he hadn't slept well the night before either. He just couldn't seem to shut off his racing thoughts. After two hours of tossing and turning, he quietly left his bedroom and went downstairs to make himself a cup of tea. He then settled down in front of the television, making sure to keep the volume low. He found himself watching infomercials, thinking if anything was going to put him to sleep, those would. He watched one after another and learned more than he ever wanted to know about the Lift Away vacuum cleaner, the Veggie Bullet, the Total Gym home exercise system, and The Copper Chef kitchen pan. Finally, in the middle of the Life Lock identity protection commercial, he dozed off.

The following morning, Deeks went into the living room and found Callen asleep on the sofa. He took Monty out for a walk and was surprised that Callen was still asleep when he returned. Deeks then turned his attention to the television which was showing an infomercial for Meaningful Beauty with Cindy Crawford. A few minutes later, Kensi joined him. "I thought you were making breakfast," she said as she crutched up beside him.

"Shh," Deek turned to her, his finger on his lips. "Callen is watching this. You can rediscover your skin's youthful radiance for the low, low price of $49.95 with free priority shipping. I think I'm going to get this for my mom for her birthday."

Kensi glanced over at Callen who was sleeping soundly and rolled her eyes. "Are we eating out this morning?" she whispered.

Deeks nodded. "I think that might be a good idea," he said softly. "He must not have had a very good night."

"Okay."

Deeks then gathered up their things and the two quietly left the house.

xxxxx

A few minutes before 8, Callen awoke and sat up sluggishly. He stretched and groaned softly, feeling exhausted and out of sorts. More than anything, he wanted to call Hetty and put off her visit, but he knew that she wouldn't be deterred. Whether or not he wanted her there, she would most certainly show up. He turned off the television and went to shower and dress. When he was finished, he went back downstairs and started flipping through the pages of one of Kensi's magazines. At 8:55, the doorbell rang. He sighed heavily as he got to his feet and went to the front door. "Good morning, Hetty."

"Good morning, Mr. Callen. I've brought your favorite breakfast pastries from Carmela's Bakery and some coffee. I thought you could use a treat."

"Thank you," Callen said as he took the box and tray containing two cups from her. Sugar and caffeine were both welcome on a day like today. "Come in."

Hetty walked into the living room and Callen followed behind her. He then placed the box and tray down on the coffee table. "Would you like me to make you some tea?" he asked her.

"No, no. I got some strawberry/kiwi tea at Carmela's, thought I would try something different for a change."

"Oh speaking of something different, I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable." Callen went into the kitchen and grabbed a bag from the counter top then went back into the living room. "I got this for you yesterday at the Farmer's Market. It's a new blend of tea. Supposedly, it's very good."

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Callen." Hetty smiled as she took the tea from Callen. "I look forward to trying it."

Callen nodded. "I hope you like it."

Hetty patted the cushion beside her on the sofa. "Sit with me," she requested.

Callen did as Hetty asked, trying not to show the anxiety he was feeling inside.

"You know how much I care about you, don't you?" Hetty asked.

Callen nodded. "Of course I do."

"And even though I might not have always made the best decisions regarding your welfare…At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing…and I never meant to hurt you."

Callen looked back at Hetty, confusion written all over his face. "Hetty…what is this about?"

Hetty sighed softly. "I understand that…well that you uncovered certain revelations yesterday…"

"What?" Callen shifted uncomfortably as he dropped his gaze to the sofa then looked back at Hetty. "Rachel told you?"

Hetty shook her head. "No, I have not spoken with Ms. Cranston. As I told you before, she has not divulged anything you've said in confidence to her. Mr. Hanna came to see me yesterday after your session. He was quite upset."

"Sam?" Callen's eyes widened as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that Sam had gone to Hetty without his knowledge. "I can't believe…"

"Try not to be angry with him," Hetty said. "I don't think he meant to break your confidence. As I said, he was just very upset and very protective of you…He wanted answers regarding what had happened to you so many years ago."

"Even so…I don't understand…" Callen sighed and stared down at the sofa cushion. "What did he think he would accomplish?" he asked softly.

"He had questions…are you telling me you don't?" Hetty asked.

"I…" Callen shook his head, still not meeting Hetty's gaze, not sure that he wanted to talk about any of this at all. "I don't know…"

"First of all, let me assure you that I didn't know what had happened to you until well after the fact. I didn't even discover your whereabouts until you were seven years old."

"Oh." At that point, Callen finally met Hetty's eyes.

"It was then that I decided to… basically hide you from the Comescus...in the foster care system."

Callen said nothing to this and Hetty went on. "I'm sure you've wondered why I didn't take you in…why I waited for so many years. I'm afraid I don't have the best answers for you. I was never in one place for too long, always on assignment, focused on my career. Your partner doesn't believe I did right by you…and looking back, perhaps he is correct in his assumption…"

"You…you said I was a challenging child," Callen said, his eyes sad. "I knew that nobody wanted me…"

Hetty closed her eyes as pangs of guilt ripped through her. "I never should have said that to you. I'm very sorry that I did."

"It's okay…I get it," Callen said with a shrug. "I'm sure I had issues."

"Oh, Grisha…you never had any issues that any other child wouldn't have had if they went through what you did. Sam is very upset about what happened to you and he has every right to be."

Callen shook his head slowly, surprised by Hetty's use of his given name. She rarely called him by it. "You couldn't make people adopt me, Hetty. No matter what you did, the fact remains that nobody wanted me…"

"Nobody was given the opportunity to adopt you… If a suitable long-term foster placement had come about, you could have stayed with a family, but, I didn't think it was in your best interests to be in one place too long. It made it harder for the Comescus to find you. I also couldn't help but hope that your father was alive and that he might have come for you one day."

Callen just stared at Hetty, trying to process all that she had said. "So…you didn't want me to get adopted?" he asked.

"It's not that I didn't want you to have a home and a family…I was afraid for you," Hetty said. "I'm very sorry."

"Did…did the Comescus ever come close to finding me?" Callen asked.

Hetty nodded. "A handful of times they did find you. Luckily, we were able to get you out of the homes before any harm could come to you."

"So…I guess you did what you had to do…" Callen felt like he ought to be angered by what Hetty had told him, but he really just felt oddly detached from it all. He didn't see that it would help him to get upset about it. What was done, was done. It was all in the very distant past. In any case, he still wasn't quite sure he bought that he couldn't have been adopted if someone had really wanted him. He'd seen the faces of many foster parents, some of who had long-term children in their home. They had looked at him with scorn or disinterest, sometimes even barely disguised hatred. No one had ever wanted him long-term and he didn't believe it was because he was being hidden from the Comescus. It was just him.

Hetty studied Callen, feeling somehow troubled by his lack of emotion regarding what she had told him. She had expected more of a reaction. "Do you have anything you want to say to me?"

"Is this why you came here today?" he asked. "Is there more?"

Hetty shook her head. "There's no more...I think that was quite enough, don't you?"

"I guess so," Callen said quietly as he nodded.

"You understand what I've been saying, didn't you?" Hetty asked. "You were a victim of circumstance…Everything that happened to you… all the bad things…none of them were your fault. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do," Callen said. "I was an innocent kid…well, maybe not so innocent when I was older." His lips twisted into a slight smirk. "But…I know this stuff wasn't my fault."

"And if things were different…you would have been adopted. I'm sorry I didn't make that happen for you." Hetty was sorry for a lot of things, but her regrets were hers alone to bear.

"Don't be sorry, Hetty. You kept me safe," Callen said. Blame wasn't going to help anyone at this point.

"Alright…if there's anything else you'd like to talk about, all you have to do is call or come over. I'd be more than happy to discuss this further." She could see he wasn't going to open up to her, not today in any case.

"Thank you, Hetty," Callen said, although he really didn't see that happening, certainly not any time soon.

They ate a quiet breakfast together with Hetty assuring him that she was working on the necessary steps for him to return to work part-time. After that, Hetty headed off to work, leaving Callen to prepare for his visit with Rachel.

xxxxx

Callen basically went through the motions for the rest of the day. He was in no frame of mind to talk or share so he gave Rachel perfunctory, almost robotic responses to her questions. After Rachel left, he took Monty for a walk and then spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in front of the television set. He didn't pay much attention to what was on, but just needed the distraction from his thoughts. All he knew was he didn't want to think about what he had remembered the day before or about what Hetty had told him. He just wanted to turn his brain off and not think about anything anymore.


	73. Chapter 73

_As always, thanks so much for reading and for your reviews. They are always appreciated :)_

xxxxx

"So, how did things go with Hetty today?" Deeks asked Callen. He, Callen and Kensi were seated in the kitchen, eating a simple dinner of baked chicken, rice and salad.

"It was fine," Callen stated as he tried to keep his expression blank, not wanting to talk about or even think about his conversation with Hetty.

"See, there was nothing to worry about," Kensi said, smiling at Callen. Deeks, however, wasn't so sure about that, but he kept his thoughts to himself. He knew that if Callen didn't want to discuss something, he wouldn't discuss it and if pushed, was likely to shut down.

After dinner, the three friends went into the living room and began to watch television. Callen's cell phone rang a little after nine. He pulled out his phone, saw Sam's name on the caller ID and put the phone aside. Kensi and Deeks exchanged a long look but neither of them said anything. The phone rang again 20 minutes later and then again at 9:30. At that point, Callen put his phone on mute. Deeks' phone rang again a couple minutes after that.

"If that's Sam, tell him I went to bed," Callen said.

"Is there a problem between the two of you?" Deeks asked as his phone continued to ring.

"I just don't want to talk to him right now," Callen said as Deeks finally answered the telephone.

"Hey Sam," Deeks said.

"Hi Deeks, I'd like to speak with G," Sam said.

"Uh…" Deeks looked at Callen who was staring at the television. "He can't talk right now, Sam. Can I give him a message?"

Sam sighed heavily. "He doesn't want to speak with me?"

"That about sums it up," Deeks said.

"Alright…I guess I'll catch up with him tomorrow. Have a good night."

"You too," Deeks said before he clicked off his phone. He glanced at Calen again but the other man still steadfastly refused to meet his eyes. "Sam said he'll talk to you tomorrow, Callen…"

"Thanks," Callen said, not seeming the least bit interested.

"Okay then…" Deeks turned to Kensi who shrugged and shook her head and the two turned their attention back to the television.

xxxxx

"He wouldn't talk to me…"

Michelle gave her obviously upset husband a long look, through sympathetic eyes, before speaking. "You know him, Sam…you should have known he wouldn't take it well that you went to Hetty behind his back…" Her tone was gentle as she spoke, but she spoke honestly.

"I know…I just…I wasn't thinking. I was upset with her and that was why I went. I guess…I just wasn't thinking that what I was doing would affect G. I should have…but I didn't…"

"He's understandably upset right now, but he'll forgive you. He just has to process what he's learned. He's gone through so much, Sam and this is just another thing on top of everything else. It would be a big load for anyone to carry…"

"I guess I should have talked to you before I went running to Hetty," Sam said, giving his wife a wan smile.

"Yes, you should have." Michelle smiled and went to her husband, putting her arms around him as he enfolded her against him. "Wives always know best."

"Yes they do," Sam smiled agreeably as he held her. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well, you're never going to have to find out," Michelle said softly, entirely content in her husband's familiar embrace.

xxxxx

 _"You won't be escaping from these handcuffs," Jonathan Page smiled as he fastened Callen's hands behind his back, then shoved him down to the rocky surface of the mine. "They're high security handcuffs, positively pick-proof. But don't look so dismayed, Agent Callen. Your team is very close by. If they find you and get you out of here, you'll be saved. Only thing is…I'm pretty sure they've had about enough of you and your woeful existence. I heard a couple of them saying it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if they didn't find you, though that would be pretty cold of them wouldn't it be…if they were to let you die in here all alone in the dark?"_

 _"Shut up," Callen snarled, "they would never do that." There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice however._

 _"You tell yourself whatever makes you feel best," Page said, laughing. "All I know is I wouldn't want to be at the mercy of people who obviously couldn't be bothered to find or save me. Have a good rest of your life, Agent Callen, no matter how short it may be."_

 _Callen watched as Page' s flashlight beam grew smaller and fainter until it was gone entirely and he was plunged into total darkness. He tried to keep calm, but before long, panic started to set in. "Sam?" he called out loudly. "Deeks, Kensi?! Can you hear me?"_

 _There was nothing but silence in answer to his calls._

 _"Sam? Deeks? Kensi? I'm over here! Can you hear me?"_

 _Callen's calls grew increasingly persistent and desperate, but no one answered._

 _"Come on, guys! I would never leave you alone in here. I'm over here! Please!"_

 _Finally, he realized that no one was going to help him. He was all alone and was going to die slowly and alone in the cold darkness._

xxxxx

"I can't believe you did this. I can't believe you left me alone to die. I never would have left any of you, never!" Callen tossed and turned, his tone changing from pleading murmurs to anxiety-filled shouts.

Deeks stood in the doorway for a few moments as he listened to Callen's pleas, wanting to get an idea of what was tormenting him in his nightmare. "Callen? Callen, come on…wake up." Being mindful to keep himself out of harm's way, Deeks finally succeeded in getting Callen to open his eyes. "Hey…are you alright?"

"You left me," Callen said reproachfully. His face was drenched with sweat and he was still obviously caught up in the events of his nightmare. "How could you?"

The look on Callen's face made Deeks feel guilty in spite of the fact that there was absolutely nothing for him to feel guilty about. "No one left you, Callen" Deeks said soothingly. "You were dreaming, man…everything's okay. You're okay."

"You did leave me," Callen said, his eyes hollow and empty as he rolled away from Deeks and burrowed under the blankets. "All of you…even Sam…"

"You know better…we would never do that," Deeks said calmly, trying to reassure his distraught friend. "We'd never leave you, Callen."

"Everybody leaves me," Callen said.

Nothing more was said, but Deeks sat with Callen until the other man's breathing evened out and he knew Callen had dropped back off to sleep. Deeks then remained with him for another 10 or 15 minutes, just making sure that he was alright. Finally, he got up from the side of the bed and left the room, leaving the door open to ensure he would hear him if he called out any more during the night.

"Deeks?" Kensi was sitting up in bed, a book on her lap, when Deeks came back into their bedroom. "Is Callen okay?"

"You shouldn't have waited up, baby," Deeks said as he climbed back under the cover beside Kensi.

"I couldn't sleep," Kensi said, studying Deeks' expression with her eyes. "Is he okay?" she repeated.

"He's sleeping," Deeks said, slowly shaking his head. "Is he okay? I don't know, Kensi…I really don't think so. Another nightmare…I think it was about the mine, but…"

"But what?" Kensi asked softly.

"He said we left him in there."

"He was dreaming, Deeks," Kensi said reassuringly. "He knows we'd never leave him."

"I don't think he does know that," Deeks said. "He…he said we left him…he said that everybody leaves him..."

"He was probably still half asleep." Kensi put her arm around Deeks' back and nuzzled against him. "He'll be okay in the morning."

"Yeah…yeah, you're right, Kens…" Deeks gave Kensi a kiss and then laid down in the bed. "Come on, let's get some sleep. Morning's going to come quickly." As Kensi settled down next to him and he turned out the light, he was still troubled by what had happened.

xxxxx

"Good morning, Sam," Deeks said and Kensi echoed him as she made her way over to her desk, sat down and leaned her crutches against Callen's empty desk.

"Hey Kensi, Deeks," Sam greeted his two friends with a concerned expression on his face. "How's G?"

Deeks glanced at Kensi who focused her attention on opening up her laptop case. "Did something happen yesterday?" he asked Sam.

"It's a long story, Deeks," Sam began, "and I really can't get into details without G's permission…" He wasn't going to break his partner's confidence again. He was already in enough trouble over that.

"Well, I don't think he's doing so hot, Sam," Deeks said. "He was having nightmares again last night."

"That's not really unusual though, is it?" Sam asked. "I mean…he's been having them right along."

"No. No, it's not unusual, but…" Deeks sighed softly before going on. "It's just something about how he looked, how he acted. He said we'd all just left him in the mine. He didn't really believe that it hadn't happened. "

"He probably wasn't really awake," Sam said.

"That's not it," Deeks said. "I don't know, Sam. It was something in his eyes…he looked haunted somehow…He said that everyone leaves him. I don't know, it just really got to me."

The more Sam thought about what Deeks had said, the more sense it made to him. Callen had been locked in a closet and pretty much left for dead when he was a child and then a similar thing had happened to him in the mine. He could understand why his partner was so disturbed. "Hey Deeks?" he asked, turning towards the detective. "Do you know what time G's meeting up with Rachel today?"

"Probably either 10 or 11," Deeks replied.

"Thanks." Well, Callen was already pissed off at him anyway. Sam figured crashing G's session wouldn't make things that much worse. In any case, it was a chance he was willing to take.

xxxxx

Sam parked his Challenger a little bit down the street from Kensi and Deeks' house. He was glad to see his partner's car was still parked in the driveway. He just hoped G wouldn't decide to take one of his walks or there was a good chance he'd walk right by him and that would not be good. At 9:55, Sam smiled to himself as Rachel's car pulled into the driveway. He decided to give them a few minutes before making his surprise entrance.

xxxxx

Rachel couldn't help but notice that Callen looked exhausted. In fact, he had looked increasingly so since he had agreed to the hypnosis session. She was beginning to regret having mentioned the hypnosis at all. He didn't seem to be dealing well with what had been uncovered. "Are you having trouble sleeping?" she asked softly.

Callen shrugged in answer to Rachel's question which caused her to sigh in frustration. "Callen, if you're not going to talk, these sessions are a waste of my time and yours."

Callen was momentarily saved by the sound of the doorbell. He quickly got up from the sofa and went to the door. He was stunned to see Sam standing there. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" he asked.

"I took some time off," Sam replied.

"Yeah, well…this isn't a good time," Callen stated, his blue eyes dark and cold as he stared at his partner. "Rachel's here."

"Then I think it's a perfect time," Sam said as he brushed by Callen and entered the house.

"I said this was a bad time. We were right in the middle of something." Callen's words had no effect as Sam entered the living room.

"Hi Rachel, I'm sorry to interrupt," Sam said as she looked up at him in surprise.

"You're not that sorry or you wouldn't be here," Callen said heatedly. "Don't my feelings mean anything to you anymore?"

"Of course they do, G," Sam said. "I just want to help you."

"Yeah, from where I'm standing, you're just being a busy-body," Callen stated.

Sam nodded. "I know that's what you think, and I am sorry about what I did, G. That was a mistake. I should have talked to you first. I didn't mean for her to show up here yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Rachel asked, totally in the dark as to what they were talking about.

"He went running to Hetty after the hypnosis," Callen said. "She showed up here yesterday before you came."

"Oh…" Rachel said. That explained a lot about Callen's behavior yesterday and today. She wondered what Hetty had said to him.

Callen sat on the sofa and crossed his arms across his chest defensively as he stared at Sam. "So what are you here to say today, Sam?" he asked. "Dare I even ask?"

"Come on G. You know I care about you," Sam said as he took a seat next to Callen.

"You've got a funny way of showing it sometimes."

"I talked to Deeks this morning…" Sam said, deciding not to beat around the bush.

Callen immediately looked uncomfortable. "Don't any of you have anything better to do than talk about me?" he asked.

"I didn't say we were talking about you," Sam said.

"Oh, so you weren't talking about me?" Callen challenged.

"I didn't say that either."

"Now you're just being a jackass, Sam," Callen said angrily. "Is this some kind of a game to you? What the hell."

"Sam…" Rachel's tone had a cautionary note in it.

Sam shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said contritely as he turned to his partner. "I am sorry, G…I don't like going behind your back. I really don't, but I'm concerned about you. We all are."

"Why can't you accept that I'm fine?"

"Because you're not…you're not fine. I wish you were. I want you to be, but right now you're not."

"Just say whatever it is you're going to say, Sam."

"Deeks told me about your nightmare last night."

"So?" Callen's tone was bordering on belligerence but his eyes looked wary and he unconsciously shifted further away from Sam on the sofa.

"He said…he said you told him that everyone leaves you."

Callen shook his head, refusing to look at his partner. "I don't remember."

"Come on G…"

"I said I don't remember," Callen said, raising his voice.

"Callen…" Rachel's voice broke in softly.

"What?" Callen turned towards her.

"When you were under hypnosis, you said that you didn't remember being rescued from the closet. One day you just woke up in the hospital."

Callen nodded. "Yeah, so?"

"Do you remember being rescued from the mine?"

Callen looked at Rachel for a long moment before shaking his head.

"He was unconscious…burning up with fever." Sam said, breaking into the conversation. From his expression, it was obvious he was upset by the memory. "He was in bad shape…"

"So, you have no memory of being rescued from either place. Your only memories are of being alone and terrified, thinking you were going to die in both places alone."

"Yes, but so what?" Callen said with a shrug. "I know I was rescued. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

Rachel nodded. "You know it in your head, but I don't think that deep inside, you truly believe it."

"Of course I believe it."

"G…listen to her," Sam said. "I think she may be onto something."

"These things that happened to you were very traumatic and they've obviously had a profound effect on you. The memories begin and end with you being trapped alone in the darkness. You never had any real closure."

"I did have closure," Callen insisted. "I know I got out. Both times I woke up in the hospital. I wasn't in the darkness anymore."

"I don't think it's the same thing," Rachel said. "I think you may have needed to experience the rescue first hand, the memory of someone finding you, of you not being alone anymore. It may be what you need to finally begin to move past all of this. "

"That's crazy," Callen said, shaking his head. "What do you want me to do? Become trapped again so I can be awake when someone comes and rescues me?"

"Nothing quite that drastic," Rachel said, "but the idea does have some merit."

"What?" Callen's eyes widened as he looked at her. "What exactly are you suggesting?"

"I think you should go back to Seattle…back to the mine, so you can put this behind you once and for all…"


	74. Chapter 74

_As always, thanks so much for all your nice reviews and comments :)_

xxxxx

Callen stared at Rachel incredulously then slowly shook his head. "That's not happening."

"Just hear me out, Callen," Rachel said softly. "It's just an idea but in your case…"

"I already did the hypnosis," Callen said, obviously upset. "I don't think that has particularly helped anything."

"You did uncover some of your lost memories," Rachel reminded him gently.

He ignored what she said. "Now…now you want me to be tied up and left in the mine again?"

"NO! No, it wouldn't be anything like that, Callen. This is just a thought. I'm certainly not going to force you into it. If you don't feel comfortable…"

"I don't," Callen interrupted quickly.

"G…" Sam put his arm around his partner's shoulders. "Why don't we just listen to what she has to say? You're not going to have to do anything you don't want to do."

Callen looked at his partner then back at Rachel before nodding. "Fine," he said, "I'll listen, but I'm not agreeing to anything."

"Okay," Rachel took a deep breath and gave Callen a reassuring smile which he did not respond to. "First of all, let me assure you that you certainly wouldn't be tied up or even left alone in the mine. I would never do that to you."

"Go on," Callen said.

"It's called exposure therapy and it's just what it sounds like, exposing the patient to whatever he or she fears, without any danger, to try to overcome his or her anxiety or distress."

Callen shook his head, appearing very uncertain. "I don't know…" he said softly.

"Well, just think about it. There are certainly other things we can try. I can teach you some relaxation techniques or we can try to simulate the mine somewhere locally, perhaps a cave somewhere."

"But that's not going to work as well…"

"I wouldn't say that," Rachel said. "We can experiment with different things, Callen. I'm confident that we'll eventually be successful."

"Eventually…" Callen hated that word. It was so indefinite. He was just so tired of all of this. He wanted to say yes to Seattle, yes to the mine, but, he was so afraid. He'd thought the hypnosis was going to help things but it really hadn't. He certainly wasn't feeling any better about anything. Maybe in time he would… he just didn't know. Rachel's idea seemed to make sense, but he wondered if this would just be setting him up for another disappointment.

"Could someone come with me?" he asked, quickly trying to cover up the slight tremor in his voice.

Rachel couldn't help but note that Callen looked scared and much younger than his years at that moment. Her heart went out to him and what he was going through. She really did want to help him to get his life back. So far, they just weren't achieving the success she had hoped for. "Of course," she said, giving him a reassuring smile. "That would be a big part of this, having Sam and/or your team with you."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Rachel asked, giving him an uncertain look.

"I'll do it," Callen said with a nod.

"You can think about it, you know," Rachel said. "I know this is a big step. It's nothing that needs to be rushed."

"Come on, Rachel," Callen said, already beginning to have doubts. "Are you trying to talk me out of this now?" He just wanted to do it and get it over with before he changed his mind. "When should we do this?"

"Whenever you'd like," Rachel said, "and when arrangements can be made for travel for you and whoever you would like to accompany us."

Callen turned towards his partner, a questioning look in his eyes.

"You know you don't need to ask me, G," Sam said. "You've got it…whatever you need."

"Thanks." With this latest development, Callen's anger towards his partner had diminished considerably. He couldn't very well remain angry with someone who was willing to go all out to try to help him, even if he didn't always agree with Sam's methods.

"So, do you only want Sam to go with you?" Rachel asked, "or the rest of your team as well?"

Callen considered the question for a few moments before he arrived at his decision. "I think I'd like Kensi and Deeks to come along," he said.

Rachel nodded. "I think that's a good decision."

"Okay, I guess I'm going to head back to work," Sam said, deciding to give Rachel and Callen the rest of the session time to themselves. "Should I tell Kensi and Deeks or would you rather tell them yourself?"

"You can tell them if you'd like."

"What about Hetty?"

"What about her?" Callen asked warily. "I don't really want her to come. We can just maybe do this on the weekend…"

"You've got to admit, it would be a lot easier if we didn't have to figure out transportation, G. Hetty could probably arrange a plane for us…"

Callen thought about what Sam was saying and finally nodded reluctantly. "Okay, I guess you can tell her, but I really don't want her to come with us…" If this little idea of Rachel's went badly, he definitely didn't want Hetty to be there to witness it, knowing it would negatively affect her decision regarding his return to work.

"No problem, G…" At least he hoped it wouldn't be a problem. Hopefully, Hetty wouldn't even ask about accompanying them on the trip. He got up from the sofa and placed his hand on Callen's shoulder then patted it encouragingly. "I'll talk to you later." He said goodbye to Rachel and then left the house to head back to work.

xxxxx

"Everything good?" Deeks asked as Sam settled into the chair behind his desk.

"Yeah, well…I don't know if it's actually good," Sam admitted. "I know I just got back, but do you and Kensi want to go out and grab a quick lunch? I'd like to talk to you both."

"Sure," Deeks said with a nod. "Let me just finish this report I'm working on." He glanced over at Kensi who gave a slight nod, acknowledging that she had heard what had been said and then he resumed working on his report.

At about 1:15, Sam, Kensi and Deeks headed out. They decided to eat at a casual restaurant on the beach where they could sit outside and enjoy the sunshine. "So, what's up, Sam?" Deeks asked as he unwrapped his fish tacos.

"Well…I'm not sure what you're going to think about this…I'm not even sure what I think actually…"

"What is it, Sam?" Kensi asked, appearing worried.

"Rachel thinks it would be a good idea for Callen to go back to Seattle…back to the mine…" Sam sighed when neither Kensi or Deeks responded to what he had said. "Well?" he asked. "What do you think?"

"I think the more important question is what does Callen think?" Deeks finally said.

"He said he would go," Sam replied.

"Really?" Kensi asked, obviously surprised. "I wouldn't think he'd want to do that…"

"Neither would I," Deeks said. "How'd she get him to agree to that?"

"Surprisingly, it didn't take a whole lot of convincing," Sam said. "I think G's just so sick and tired of feeling the way he feels that he'll try just about anything to get better and get his life back."

"Even so, Sam…" Deeks began. "If you could see how he looked last night…I just wouldn't think he'd want anything at all to do with the mine. He hates the dark, he's still sleeping with the light on and that's in the safety of our house."

"Isn't she afraid he's going to just freak out?" Kensi asked.

"He might just end up even more traumatized than he is now," Deeks said.

"Her way of thinking is that being in the mine, with a different, more positive outcome, will help him to get past all the bad stuff, I guess," said Sam.

"It sounds good in theory," Deeks said as he pondered this newest piece of information, "but I really don't know…"

"Well…whatever we think, the thing is, he wants us to go with him," Sam said. "If you two are up for it…"

Kensi and Deeks both nodded, without a moment's hesitation. "Of course we'll go," Kensi said.

"We'll do whatever he needs us to," Deeks added.

Sam smiled. "I thought you'd agree."

"When are we going to do this?" Kensi asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I need to talk to Hetty. I'm wondering if she might be able to arrange a flight for us."

"That might come with strings attached," Deeks said.

Sam nodded. "I know. If that's the case, we'll have to arrange it ourselves. He doesn't want her to come along. I think he's afraid of consequences if it this doesn't go well."

"I would hope that Hetty would cut him a break given the circumstances. Sometimes, I'm surprised at how harsh she can be though," Deeks said. Hetty was a very tiny woman, but she could really be scary in a big way when she wanted to be.

"I actually don't think she would be this time," Sam said. "But just her presence would stress G out more. I definitely think it's better if she doesn't come with us."

Kensi glanced at her watch and then at the two men. "We probably should get back. If you're going to talk to Hetty, you probably don't want to be taking an extra-long lunch."

"No you're right about that," Sam said as he picked up his food wrappings from the table and prepared to throw them away. "She's been pretty good about giving me time off to help G."

"I'm sure she wants him to get better as much as we do," Kensi said as she took her crutches and got up from her chair. The three of them then headed over to where Deeks had parked his vehicle.

xxxxx

"Hetty?" Sam stood in front of Hetty's desk, and patiently waited for her to give him her attention.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Hanna?" Hetty asked, looking up at him with a smile.

"Well…I wanted to apprise you of what's going on with G…"

"Really?" Hetty asked, a surprised expression on her face. "And does Mr. Callen know about this?"

Sam nodded. "He does," he assured her.

"Okay then, why don't you have a seat…make yourself comfortable."

Sam sat down in the chair by Hetty's desk and began to speak. "As I told you this morning, I went to sit in on G's session with Rachel today…well, I guess that's not entirely accurate, it was more like I crashed the session," he admitted.

"I see…I'm guessing he wasn't particularly happy about that."

A faint smile touched the corners of Sam's lips as he shook his head. "No…no he wasn't, but things are okay between us now."

"Well, that's good to hear," Hetty said with a nod. "So, what is his current situation?"

"G is still having trouble with nightmares because of the trauma he's endured," Sam said. "I won't go into all the details, but Rachel thinks it may help for him to revisit the mine in Seattle."

Hetty shook her head, looking shocked at that revelation. "I don't know if I agree with her line of thinking," she said. "Revisiting the mine has the potential to cause more harm than good, doesn't it?"

"I can't say you're alone in your thinking, Hetty," Sam admitted. "Part of me thinks it may do him a world of good, but the other part…" He shook his head. "I just don't know, but if it could help him, who am I to say it won't work. I'm certainly not a shrink…"

"And he has agreed to this?" Hetty asked, having a hard time believing that Callen would want to put himself through the trauma of going back to the place where he had gone through so much and almost lost his life.

Sam nodded. "He has. He has also requested that Kensi and Deeks come along as well.

"And when are you planning to leave?" Hetty asked. It was pretty obvious that Callen didn't want her to accompany them, not that she could blame him. There were a number of things she could have handled better regarding his situation.

"As soon as we can arrange transportation. We'll try to do it over the weekend, if we can, so none of us will miss any more time from work."

Hetty nodded. "I appreciate that, Mr. Hanna." Although the team hadn't yet had a big case since returning to work, there was still plenty of work that they needed to catch up on. "Let me try to work on transportation for you and I'll see what I can do," Hetty said. "I'll let you know what I come up with."

"Thank you, Hetty," Sam said as he rose to his feet before heading to his desk. "That's really nice of you."

xxxxx

Late that afternoon, just as Sam, Kensi and Deeks were packing up their things to head home for the day, Hetty came over to them.

"I've managed to secure a plane for you," she said. "You are due to take off tomorrow at 4 p.m. I've spoken to Ms. Cranston and she will meet you at the airport. I left a message for Mr. Callen as he didn't answer his phone. I've arranged for rooms at the same hotel you stayed in previously. Mr. Hanna, you will share a suite with Mr. Callen and obviously Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye will do the same. Ms. Cranston will have her own room. I've also made reservations for you to have dinner at Sky City in the Space Needle, everything will be completely paid for."

"Hetty that's too much," Sam protested. He remembered being in the hotel and thinking how nice it would be to have a team dinner in that restaurant. It was like Hetty had read his mind.

"That's entirely unnecessary," Deeks said in agreement.

"Now, I don't want to hear another word about it," Hetty said. "The reservations are for Saturday night at 8. You will be flying back home at 11 a.m. on Sunday morning. Mr. Callen deserves something nice after all he's been through…all of you do…"

"Thank you, Hetty," Kensi said. "That's incredibly generous of you." Deeks and Sam echoed Kensi's thanks.

"I just hope this trip proves as fruitful as Ms. Cranston seems to think it will be," Hetty said. "The three of you had better head home now. You've all got some packing to do."


	75. Chapter 75

_Who knew that staying home from work with a migraine would help me to get a chapter written today. (the migraine didn't last all day). As always, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it :)_

xxxxx

Callen took his clothes from the washer and put them into the dryer, closed the dryer door and turned on the machine. He then walked from the basement up the stairs into the living room. Ever since he had received Hetty's message that she had made their travel arrangements, his thoughts had been all over the place. He had no clue why he had agreed so quickly to Rachel's idea of returning to the mine in Seattle. Right now, it seemed like the worst idea in the world.

He sighed heavily as he sat on the sofa and turned on the television set, then took up his now familiar habit of flicking through channels as he tried to find something that could distract him from his thoughts. Not really finding anything that appealed to him, he turned off the television and as it was getting late, his thoughts went to dinner. At times like these, he really wished he could cook, but anything elementary he could make, would pale in comparison to what Deeks could make. He knew that Kensi and Deeks would eat anything he cooked, but he didn't want to force them to eat his simple and blah concoctions.

When his clothes had finished drying, he folded them and then called in an order to Alfredo's for their homemade lasagna, along with a salad, a loaf of garlic bread with cheese and an assortment of canolli for dessert. He then headed out to pick it up before Kensi and Deeks returned home from work.

xxxxx

"Mmm…something smells good," Deeks said, sniffing the air appreciatively as he and Kensi entered the house. "Have you been keeping hidden talents from us, Callen?"

"Uh, more like Alfredo's not so hidden talents," Callen said. "All I had to do was reheat it in the oven at 350 degrees. Even I would have difficulty messing that up."

"This is a nice treat," Kensi said as she leaned her crutches on the kitchen counter and took a seat. "Thank you so much, Callen."

"It's really nothing," Callen said. "You two have done so much for me…I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"Come on, Callen…" Deeks said. "Don't you know by now that we're family? We don't want or expect any kind of repayment."

"Deeks is right," Kensi said. "We just want you to be well, Callen. We love you."

Callen's cheeks flushed. "I think the food is probably done," he said, turning quickly and going over to the oven.

"Now look what you did," Deeks whispered, grinning at Kensi. "You need any help?" he asked, raising his voice.

"No, I've got it, thanks," Callen replied.

Callen brought the lasagna to the table and then the bread and salad. "Mmm…this all looks delicious," Kensi said as she scooped up some salad and put it on her plate.

The three of them ate quietly for a few minutes before Deeks spoke. "So Callen," he began. "How are you feeling about tomorrow?"

Callen swallowed the food he had been chewing and looked back at Deeks. "I honestly don't know," he admitted. "When Rachel first talked about it, I thought it sounded okay, but now…"

Kensi looked at him in concern. "You can always change your mind if you're really not comfortable with this. No one would think any less of you if you don't go through with it."

Callen nodded. "Yeah…I know that, Kens, but if I don't try to take some kind of positive steps, I'm afraid that I'll never get back to the way I was before all this happened." It seemed so long ago now. He was almost beginning to forget what it was like to actually feel normal.

"I really think you'll get there," Deeks said, after a long silence. "I know it must be frustrating for you, but, you're a lot better than you were."

Callen sighed heavily. "Compared to what?" he asked. "Compared to when I was totally out of it in the hospital? The nightmares aren't getting any better, are they? I'm sure I wake the two of you up every night, so you tell me. Are they getting better, Deeks? Kensi? Are they?"

Deeks and Kensi both looked down at the table, not meeting Callen's eyes.

"That's what I thought," Callen said.

The rest of the meal was spent in yet more awkward silence. At the end of it, Callen stood up. "I'm heading out for a little bit," he said. "I need to go talk to Hetty. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, we'll see you later," Deeks said.

"Bye Callen," Kensi said. She watched him sadly as he headed out the door, then turned towards Deeks. "What do you think?"

"I think he's trying to fight his demons the best way he can," Deeks stated. "But for now, I guess we should get packed for the weekend."

xxxxx

"Mr. Callen, this is a surprise," Hetty said as he was led into her sitting room by her personal assistant.

"Sorry to barge in unannounced," Callen said.

"Well, I have done that to you on more than one occasion," Hetty said. "I'd say you owe me a few surprise appearances. Would you like some tea or something to eat?"

Callen shook his head. "No thanks, I just had dinner."

"Well, then please, sit down and tell me what's on your mind," Hetty said.

"Thanks." Callen took a seat and then sat silently.

"Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yes?"

"You did come here, didn't you? Was there a reason or did you just come here to pass the time?"

"Oh… yes, there's a reason," Callen said. "First of all, I wanted to thank you for making the arrangements for us to go to Seattle…it was incredibly generous of you…"

"Well, I thought it was the least I could do," Hetty said. "I'm not entirely sure that I agree with this plan, but if it's what you want, I will support it."

"You think it's a bad idea?" Callen asked.

"I'm actually not sure what I think," Hetty replied. "I admit I'm certainly not up on new ideologies in the field of psychology, so my opinion isn't exactly well informed, it's just an opinion, no better or worse than anyone else's."

"I don't know what I think either," Callen admitted. "At first I agreed with it, but now…now, I'm not so sure."

"No one is forcing you to do this," Hetty said, looking at him worriedly. "It's no trouble at all for me to cancel the travel arrangements, if that's why you're here."

"It's not. I do appreciate the offer though," Callen said thoughtfully. He really didn't know what he wanted at this point. He felt very undecided and confused about the whole thing.

"My offer stands," Hetty said. "If you decide you've changed your mind at any time tomorrow, just let me know and everything will be canceled or postponed, whatever you wish." She didn't like the bad feelings that had been periodically cropping up between them. She wanted him to know that she supported him wholeheartedly.

"Thank you, Hetty," Callen said, giving her a sincere smile of thanks. "I'm still planning on making the trip, but it's nice to know I have the option to back out of it if I decide not to go through with it."

"So, now that that's settled, tell me, why did you really come here to see me?"

Callen opened his mouth to speak, but then hesitated and closed it again.

"Come now, Mr. Callen. I've certainly never known you to be shy. Out with it."

"I was wondering if I could come in to work tomorrow," Callen said. "I know you haven't received clearance from the doctor yet, but I could just come in and help with paperwork or whatever you want me to do. I'll even rest when you tell me to without complaining. Then I could just leave with the team when they head to the airport. It doesn't have to be official or anything. I can just be like a visitor for the day. Please?"

Hetty sighed softly. She knew how badly he wanted this and she didn't want to refuse him, but she had to do it through proper channels. "Owen will be in the office tomorrow…" she stated. "He's not going to allow you to be there if you haven't been officially cleared for duty."

Callen's face fell and Hetty immediately felt bad. She hated disappointing him, especially when what he was asking was not unreasonable by any means. "I'll tell you what," she said. "Why don't you call over to Dr. Bryant's office first thing tomorrow morning? He wanted to see you before he would clear you to go back to work. If he does so, you can come in and work a few hours before leaving for the airport. How's that?"

"That would be good, Hetty, except don't I need clearance from Rachel as well?"

"Ms. Cranston has already given you clearance to return to work part-time, Mr. Callen."

"Even with…" Callen stopped himself from saying any more.

"I'm not sure of all the issues you are having, Mr. Callen," Hetty said, wanting to reassure him, "but she doesn't seem to think they would interfere with your ability to work in the office. I am willing to take her at her word. So, if Dr. Bryant clears you medically, you will be able to come back to work part-time, starting tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Mr. Callen."

xxxxx

The next morning, Callen called Dr. Bryant's office at 8 a.m., only to be told he needed to call back again at 9.

"Don't be so anxious, Callen," Deeks said. He honestly didn't get Callen's rush to return to work on a Friday before they were leaving for Seattle, but he guessed everyone was different.

"It won't be so bad if you have to wait until next week to go back, will it?" Kensi asked. Like Deeks, she didn't understand either, but she hadn't gone through what Callen had. Maybe work was what he needed to help him to feel normal again.

"Have a blueberry muffin and relax," Deeks said. He had decided to go out early that morning and surprise Kensi with her favorite muffins. "They're really good."

"I'll try," Callen said with a sigh. He knew they thought he was nuts and maybe he was. All he knew was that he was going stir crazy just hanging in the house day after day. If he couldn't get in to see the doctor that day, he was going to go to the movies or something, just to try to kill some time.

"So we'll see you this afternoon at some point?" Kensi asked as she reached for her crutches from Deeks. Callen had decided to meet the team at the office earlier if he was able to work and later, just to commute to the airport with them, if he wasn't able to.

Callen nodded, watching as Deeks picked up their overnight bags. "Do you need some help with those?" he asked.

Deeks shook his head. "I've got them Callen. You take it easy, okay?"

"Okay…you guys have a good day." He closed the front door behind them and looked at the clock which read 8:15. "I know your dad already took you for a walk," he said to Monty as he petted the dog's head. "But I think you're about to get another one." He went over and took the dog's leash from its hook as Monty scampered over to him, wagging his tail excitedly. "At least you like walks," Callen murmured as he fastened the leash to Monty's collar and headed to the front door.

xxxxx

"Good morning, Callen," Dr. Bryant said as he stepped into the office where Callen was sitting on the exam table, patiently waiting.

"Good morning, Doc."

"Didn't you have an appointment to see me earlier in the week?" Dr. Bryant asked.

"Oh…" Damn, there had been so much going on with Rachel that he had totally forgotten about it. "Yeah…you're right. I guess I did. I'm really sorry," Callen said. "I'll be glad to pay for the appointment."

"Relax Callen," Dr. Bryant said, laughing. "I'm glad to hear it was a genuine oversight and that you weren't deliberately playing games or avoiding me." He gently began to examine Callen's ribs. "How's the pain been?"

"It's better," Callen replied, "but they're still sore, especially if I'm lying in certain positions. I've been walking, usually every day, but I still can't really run."

"Walking is good for you, but I don't even want you to try running until I've cleared you for that," Dr. Bryant advised him. "How about the breathing exercises? Do I dare ask?"

"Well…"

Dr. Bryant shook his head as he listened to Callen's lungs with his stethoscope. "You're lucky that your lungs sound good. I still really want you to do the exercises though. If motivation is really a problem for you, I can set you up for physical therapy."

"No," Callen said quickly with a shake of his head. "I'll do better. I promise."

"Good, because I thought I had emphasized to you the importance of them the last time you were in here."

Callen nodded, looking slightly abashed. "You did."

Dr. Bryant nodded. "Okay, get dressed and then meet me in my office."

Callen nodded, wondering what that was all about. He hadn't had to meet the doctor in his office the last time he had been there. Worried, he slowly put his shirt on and buttoned it, then headed into the doctor's office.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked as he took a seat in front of the doctor's desk. He couldn't help but feel like he had been called to the principal's office.

"About your work," Dr. Bryant said, giving Callen a puzzled look. "Isn't that why you wanted to see me today? So you could see about being cleared for work?"

"Oh yeah, I did," Callen said, looking uncomfortable. He was pretty sure he had managed to screw himself out of that. Now he wished he had done the stupid breathing exercises.

The doctor began writing on a piece of paper as Callen sat there, wishing he was somewhere else. Maybe the doctor was writing a note to Hetty. It felt like what he imagined kids felt like when they had notes written to their parents. That was one thing he hadn't ever had to worry about. Most of his foster parents hadn't cared what he did or didn't do in school. They had only cared about how he acted within their own walls. He had been a paycheck to most families...nothing more.

"Here you go," Dr. Bryant said, handing the piece of paper over to Callen. "No more than 20 hours a week to start and absolutely no field work, no shooting practice either."

"No shooting?" Callen asked, looking a bit disappointed by that.

"Come back and see me in two weeks. Keep the appointment this time, okay? We'll talk about running and shooting then. And seriously, Callen, do the breathing exercises and keep up with the walking. These things will help you. I'm not just telling you to do them for the heck of it."

"I know you're not...I will do them. Thanks, Doc." Callen practically bolted out of the office, not wanting the man to change his mind. He then made an appointment with the receptionist and he was free to go and free to go back to work. He felt very pleased with himself as he left the medical building and started walking in the direction of his car. As he did so though, he couldn't help but think about what Hetty had said about Granger being in the office today. He hadn't seen or talked to the man since they had left Seattle. He was pretty sure Granger wouldn't be as happy about him going back to work as Hetty and the team would be. He really hoped that wasn't going to be an issue.


	76. Chapter 76

_Thanks so much for still reading and commenting on this story. Some of you have been amazingly loyal and I really do appreciate that. This is one of those transitional chapters. I really don't want to rush things so hopefully you all won't find this too boring. Thanks again :)_

xxxxx

Callen found himself hesitating when he arrived at the door of OSP, much as he had hesitated when he first parked his car. He wasn't sure why he had a case of nerves. He knew that very little would be expected of him today. He would sit at his desk, organize some things and begin the long and tedious task of catching up on paperwork. He supposed, if he really had to put a finger on it, he was more worried about the reactions of others than anything else. He knew there had likely been gossip among his co-workers, not his team, but other office personnel. He didn't really like to be the topic of such conversations. Then there was Granger…that was a whole other worry that had been in the back of his mind ever since Hetty had mentioned him being in the office today. Finally, he took a deep breath, put his hand on the doorknob and entered the building.

xxxxx

When Callen finally went inside, he made his way to the bullpen which was empty. Surprised and a little disappointed that his teammates weren't there, he looked over at Hetty's office and saw her sitting behind her desk. He walked over to her, his back-to-work papers clutched in his hand which he handed off to her. "Hello Hetty."

"Mr. Callen, it's good to see you back," she said, smiling up at him.

"It's good to be back. Where is everybody?"

"Mr. Deeks and Mr. Hanna are out interviewing a witness. Miss Blye and Miss Jones decided to go out for a girls' lunch."

"Oh."

"Don't be so gloomy. They'll all be back quite soon, I'd imagine," Hetty said with a faint smile. "So, I take it everything went well with Dr. Bryant?"

Callen nodded, not really paying attention to Hetty as his eyes scanned the office.

"Owen is upstairs in Ops with Eric."

"Are you a mind reader, Hetty?" Callen asked, looking down at her.

"No, but I can almost feel your thoughts racing a mile a minute, Mr. Callen. There's really nothing for you to worry about."

"I'm not worried…"

"Hmm…" Hetty looked up at him skeptically, but he didn't say anything else and she had no desire to push his buttons on his first day back at work. "Well, don't dally…paperwork awaits you and I think you'd best get to it."

Callen nodded. "Okay…I'll get right on that, Hetty."

xxxxx

"Callen! It's good to see you back here," Kensi said with a smile as she made her way to her desk next to his. "I made sure to get all my things off your desk in anticipation that you would come back today."

"Thanks, Kens…I appreciate that," Callen said, returning her smile. He then turned to Nell who was beaming at him. "Hey, Nell."

"It's so good to see you, Callen," Nell said, approaching him and giving him a hug. "We've really missed you around here."

"I've missed being here," Callen said.

Kensi passed a bag to him. "Brought you some lunch in case you were back. I didn't know if you'd take the time to eat."

"Thanks," he said. "You're right, I didn't take the time and I'm starved."

"Let me know if you need anything, Callen, "Nell said, giving him a wave as she turned to head back upstairs.

"Thanks Nell."

xxxxx

"Hey look at that, Callen's back," Eric observed as he and Granger left Ops and glanced down at the bullpen from the second floor.

Granger narrowed his eyes as he saw the agent working at his desk. He then glanced over at Hetty and decided to pay her a visit. "Try to find the Lucas file," he said to Eric. "Let me know as soon as you do."

Eric sighed and headed back into Ops as Granger left to go downstairs. He'd have to welcome Callen back later.

"Henrietta," Granger greeted as he walked into her office.

"Owen," Hetty said. She had known this visit was coming. "Please have a seat and tell me what I can do for you."

"Callen," Owen said as he sat down in front of Hetty's desk.

"What about Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked. "I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific than that."

"Don't play me, Henrietta," Granger said. "He's back working? Shouldn't I have been informed of this? Has he been officially cleared? You just bring him back in here without a word to me and you think I'm going to be fine with it?"

"Calm down, Owen. He's only been cleared for part-time office work. Since he's not yet in the field, I didn't really think it would matter to you. Please be assured that I will let you know every detail from now on."

Granger shook his head, obviously more than a little bit annoyed. "He's been medically and psychologically cleared to be back?"

Hetty opened the top drawer of her desk, took out some papers and slammed them down on the desk. "There you are…clearance from his psychologist and clearance from his medical physician. I hope you weren't suggesting that I would let him come back to work without having him go through the proper channels."

"No, but I still don't understand what the big secret was."

"He asked me yesterday. I didn't have time to tell you, and, like I said, he's here to do paperwork. I really didn't think you would make such a big deal about it."

From his desk in the bullpen, Callen couldn't help but be distracted by Granger's appearance. He had seen him from the moment he and Eric had appeared upstairs and had watched him head downstairs to Hetty's office. He knew they were talking about him. It was also easy to see that Granger wasn't particularly happy. He sighed heavily causing Kensi to turn her head towards him. "Are you okay, Callen?"

Callen nodded. "I'm fine, Kens…I just don't really think Granger is particularly happy to see me here."

Kensi looked over at Granger and Hetty. "How do you know that they're talking about you?" she asked.

"Trust me. I know. Whatever…it doesn't matter," he said, forcing a smile.

"Don't worry. I'm sure that Hetty has your back."

"Here he comes," Callen said, sitting up a bit straighter in his chair.

"Welcome back, Agent Callen," Granger said as he came up to Callen's desk.

"Thank you," Callen said as he met Granger's eyes. "It's good to be back."

"I didn't expect you to return so soon."

Callen inwardly bristled, thinking that Granger didn't seem particularly pleased by that, but he kept calm. "It's only part-time…for now."

Granger nodded. "That's what Hetty just told me." There was a short, uncomfortable silence before he went on. "Well, just let me know if there's anything I can do for you. I'm glad to see you're doing well."

"Thanks," Callen said quietly, watching as Granger headed off.

"You see, that wasn't bad at all, was it?" Kensi asked, giving Callen an encouraging look.

"No… No it wasn't bad," Callen admitted. Even if Granger wasn't happy with this development, he wasn't verbalizing it. He still didn't know if Granger would react differently when he returned to full duty, but for now, he would take his victories, big or small, however he could get them.

xxxxx

"Hey, look what the cat dragged in," Deeks said, grinning as he walked back into the bullpen. "Welcome back, Callen."

"Hey, G, it's good to see you," Sam said, smiling over at his partner as he took a seat behind his desk. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," Callen said to his partner. "Just playing catch up, which isn't too exciting, but it still feels nice to be back."

"You want to get some target practice in?" Sam asked, "Just to get some of the rust off?"

Sam's offer was very tempting, but Callen shook his head. He didn't dare go against doctor's orders. Hetty would have his head if she found out about it. Not to mention, he'd pretty much handed off his back-to-work papers to Hetty without really reading them. They likely said he wasn't allowed to shoot. "I'd love to, but I'm not cleared for any shooting, Sam. Dr. Bryant specifically said shooting was off limits."

"Oh, sorry," Sam said. "I guess I wasn't really thinking."

"It's okay," Callen said, his familiar smirk on his lips. "I'll be back to shooting soon enough and I bet I won't be as rusty as you think."

"Oh those are fighting words, Sam," Deeks said. "Maybe a little competition is in order once Callen is cleared for target practice?"

"That's not fair," Kensi quickly broke into the conversation. "Callen hasn't been able to shoot for a while. It's one thing to be able to shoot adequately, quite another to go up against someone in a competition. Sam has been able to practice. Callen hasn't been able to shoot at all."

"Calm down, Kensi," Sam said. "I'm not challenging him to a competition. At least not until he's able to get himself back into field duty shape."

"Yeah, Deeks. If you're so anxious for a competition, maybe you should take on Sam," Callen suggested.

"Oh that idea has possibilities," Kensi said.

"I'm not afraid to take on Sam," Deeks said, confidently.

"Do I need to find more work for you all to do?" asked Hetty, who had been listening, unnoticed, on the outskirts of the bullpen. "Can you really find no better use of your time than to be planning shooting challenges? You're all leaving early today to head to the airport. I suggest you attend to your duties and if you run out of things to do, please see me. I will, most assuredly, find something else to occupy your time."

"See what you did, Callen," Deeks whispered, after Hetty had begun to walk away. "You know she has ears like a bat."

"I heard that, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said as Deeks flushed, Callen smirked, and they all returned to work.

xxxxx

All too soon, for Callen anyway, it was time to leave to go to the airport. "There's a van waiting outside for you," Hetty said softly to Callen. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Callen hesitated for a few moments and then nodded. "I really think I have to, Hetty," he replied. "I just feel like I'm running out of options. I'm not really sure Rachel can stay out here indefinitely, you know? Her home is on the other side of the country."

"I'm quite sure that Ms. Cranston knew this could take some time when she first accepted this assignment," Hetty told Callen. "If that's the only reason you've agreed to this, it might be a good idea to discuss your concerns with her instead of taking such drastic measures for the sake of a hopefully quick fix."

"That's not the only reason," Callen stated. "I just want my life back."

Hetty nodded as she realized further discussion was pointless. "You take care of yourself," she said.

"I will," Callen said with a nod. "I promise." He then went to pick up his overnight bag from the sofa where he had put it earlier.

"Take care of him, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said as she took Sam aside. "I'm not at all sure that this is a good idea."

"You know you don't even have to tell me that," Sam said. "I'll take care of him, Hetty."

"Yes, yes, I know you will," Hetty said as she gently patted Sam's arm. "I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Bye, Hetty," Sam said. "Try not to worry." Callen, Deeks and Kensi echoed Sam's goodbye and then they all went out to the van to head to the airport.


	77. Chapter 77

_This chapter took a lot out of me with a ton of missteps and changes. It's been a long time coming and I hope I did it justice. Thanks for all your support._

xxxxx

At 6 a.m., Callen decided to get up. He was tired of the constant doze/wake up cycle he had been caught up in all night long. He took a shower and dressed, grateful for the private bathroom attached to his bedroom as he didn't want to wake Sam. He scribbled Sam a note on the hotel notepad saying he'd gone for a walk, took his keycard and headed down to the main entrance. He walked through the lobby, which was basically deserted except for the man and woman behind the front desk, and then went outside. Immediately, he noticed how cold it was and he was glad he had worn his jacket, which he now zippered up fully to guard against the chill. He began a brisk walk, taking in the sights and sounds of the early morning and feeling a little bit better just to be outside and on his own. He walked for a half hour and then turned around and headed back to the hotel, distributing a few dollars to some homeless people he saw along the way. It made him realize it could always be worse and he tried to develop a more positive attitude about what he needed to do that day.

Callen was just in the process of walking in through the main entrance of the hotel when he heard Deeks' voice. "Hey Callen," he called as he trotted up to him, carrying two cups. "Good morning, you're up early."

"Good morning, Deeks. The same goes for you," Callen said, holding the door open so Deeks could walk in ahead of him.

"Kensi needed a little pick me up, so I said I'd go on a coffee run. What about you?"

Callen shrugged. "I just couldn't sleep anymore so I decided to take a walk."

Deeks couldn't help but notice that Callen looked like he hadn't really slept at all, but decided that would be a counterproductive comment to make. "Hopefully, you'll sleep well tonight," he said with an encouraging smile. "I have a good feeling about today and then tonight we'll all go out for an amazing dinner. It'll be good."

Callen smiled, grateful for Deeks' attempt at making him feel better. One thing he knew for sure was that his team had gone above and beyond the call of duty for him with everything he had gone through. He knew he hadn't always made it easy for them. He really appreciated it and wasn't sure how he could ever repay any of them for what they had done for him. They walked in companionable silence to the elevator and stepped inside.

"So, we'll see you down in the lobby at 9?" Deeks said as the doors opened at his floor.

Callen nodded. "See you in a little while, Deeks."

"You take it easy, Callen."

Callen nodded as the elevator doors closed and the elevator continued its upward ascent to his and Sam's suite.

xxxxx

Sam was nervously pacing around the living room when the door to the suite clicked and Callen walked in. "G…where were you?" he asked him. He'd awoken 45 minutes ago and had noticed his partner's jacket and keycard were gone. He'd then checked G's room and had discovered, not surprisingly, that he was gone as well.

"I left you a note, Sam," Callen said, pointing at the pad on the counter of the kitchenette, next to the coffeemaker. "I went for a walk."

"Oh… well, I didn't go over there…"

"Sorry," Callen stated. "I should have just left it on the coffee table. I wasn't thinking, I guess."

Sam shook his head. "No big deal. I was just a little worried that you weren't here."

"Well, I'm here now," Callen said as he took a seat on the sofa. "And we've still got over an hour to waste before we meet the others in the lobby." He picked up the remote control and aimed it at the television set, turning it on.

"So…are you doing okay?" Sam asked as he took a seat next to Callen.

"Yeah…I'm all right," Callen said after a short hesitation. "I'll be glad when this is over with…"

"It's going to be okay, G," Sam said, putting his arm around his friend and patting his shoulder encouragingly. "We're all here for you. You're going to get through this."

Callen nodded as he tried to focus on the television. He really hoped that Sam was right.

xxxxx

Sam found a small diner on the way to the mine and after a short wait, they were seated at a window seat. "This seems like a nice place," Kensi smiled as she looked around. The place was filled to capacity and a lot of people seemed to be regulars as they were greeted by name by the restaurant personnel.

"I'm going to treat myself today," stated Sam as he looked at the menu.

Callen raised an eyebrow. "What does a treat mean to you, Sam?" he asked with a slight smirk. "Extra fruit with your fruit?"

"Oh ye of little faith, G," Sam said. "I am going to get the Lumberjack Breakfast."

Callen looked at his partner in open amusement. "You're joking…aren't you?"

Sam shook his head. "Nope and I'm going to eat it all too, bacon, eggs, sausage, home fries, toast…" If him eating a big breakfast like this brought a smile to his friend's face, it was worth it.

"Wow, Sam," Deeks said. "You really are living it up."

Hearing Sam talk about the Lumberjack Breakfast, made it sound so tempting, that Callen, Deeks and Kensi ordered it as well. Rachel decided to get French toast. Sam was inwardly satisfied that his partner had, at least, ordered a hearty breakfast. He was curious if he'd actually eat it though. Once breakfast was served, they all dug in. Callen started off fine, but then started to pick at it, as Sam had suspected he would. He didn't say anything though, knowing that his nagging was the last thing his friend needed.

After breakfast, they headed out to the SUV. Deeks tried to keep the conversation light and ongoing, but eventually it petered out with the only sounds being the radio and the voice of the GPS occasionally popping on with directions. Callen sat quietly staring out the window, but the butterflies in his stomach were flying around more ferociously with every minute that went by. His nerves were on edge and he was having a difficult time holding himself together. Once they left the main road and started along on the dirt road, he closed his eyes and started taking some deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. It wasn't really working though.

"G?"

Callen jumped and opened his eyes then looked at Sam who was staring at him worriedly. "We're here."

"Oh…" Callen hadn't even realized they had stopped. He stared out through the windshield at the mine. It didn't look particularly menacing in the daylight, but the outside of it wasn't really the problem. He didn't make a move to get out of the vehicle. He just sat there, staring at the mine. No one else did anything either, waiting to get their cues from Rachel.

"Should we get out of the car?" Rachel finally asked after a few more moments of silence. They all did as she asked, no one making a sound and then they stood outside the SUV as they looked to her for further guidance.

"Are you ready to start walking or should we take a few minutes?" Rachel asked Callen, giving him a reassuring smile.

"We…we can start walking," he said with a slight hitch in his voice. He took a deep breath and began, but his legs were shaky and he was starting to lose his grip on the present time and place. His head began to fill with nonstop imagery…his time in the mine, his memories of being locked in the closet, combined with images from his nightmares.

Sam, who was walking with Callen, couldn't help but notice that his friend's breathing had gotten increasingly more heavy and irregular and he didn't really look like he was aware of his surroundings. "G?" he said softly, but Callen didn't respond to his voice so Sam tried again. "G!" he said louder as he put his hand on Callen's shoulder.

Callen stopped short and gave Sam a confused look. Rachel had been walking behind with Kensi and Deeks but she now came forward. "Callen, are you all right?" she questioned him softly.

"I…" he looked at Rachel then at the mine and slowly shook his head. "I…I don't think I can do this," he said tremulously.

"It's okay," Rachel said. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. Nobody's trying to make you do anything you don't want to do. We can turn around right now and go back to the hotel."

Callen shook his head in despair, looking on the verge of tears. "You don't get it…I want to do this. I do. I just…I just don't think I can."

"Okay…" Rachel said calmly. "If you want to do this, what's keeping you from it? What's holding you back?"

Callen folded his arms across his chest and turned so that his back was to the mine. "I just…it's like my mind is being flooded with all this bad stuff…I keep remembering what happened when I was in there and how terrified I was and that's all mixed up with being locked in the closet when I was a kid and then the nightmares…" He shook his head. "It's just all a jumbled up mess…I'm a mess…"

Kensi, who had been listening closely, looking distressed, moved closer to Callen then handed off her crutches to Deeks. She then reached for Callen and pulled him into an embrace. "Nobody can blame you for how you're feeling," she whispered as she hugged him tightly and stroked the back of his head soothingly. "You're gone through so much and we can't put ourselves in your shoes. Rachel's right. If you want to leave here right now, we'll go, Callen. All we want is what's best for you and for you to be okay."

Callen stayed like that for a bit, letting Kensi comfort him, and then he pulled back. "Thanks, Kens…" he said. "I know you're all going to support me, no matter what I do, but…" He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I have to do this…I need to…"

"Are you sure, man?" Deeks asked. "What Kensi said is true. We won't think any less of you if you don't. We would never do that."

"I know that," Callen said, giving him a bit of an uncertain smile. "I have to do it though."

"G? Here," Sam said as he handed him a flashlight. "We're with you all the way on this. We've got your back."

Callen nodded and smiled, a bit more self-assuredly this time. "I know you do, Sam." He took another deep breath and turned around again, facing off against the mine as if preparing for battle. "Let's do this."

xxxxx

Callen clutched his flashlight tightly as he approached the opening to the mine. His determination began to waver again as he reached the entrance and he stopped short. Sam, who was right next to him, stopped as well. "You okay, G?"

Callen nodded as he turned on his flashlight and shone it into the darkness. "I'm good." He started to walk inside, his heart pounding. Already his imagination was on overdrive as he envisioned what kinds of creatures could be waiting for them within the black depths of the cave.

"This place is really creepy," Kensi whispered to Deeks. The two of them were taking up the rear while Rachel was following directly behind Callen and Sam. "I can't imagine being trapped in here all alone. No wonder he's so freaked out about it."

"Just be careful, baby and watch where you're going," Deeks cautioned her as he directed the flashlight beam ahead of them. "I don't want you to fall."

"So…how far in are we going?" Callen asked. He was shivering and although the cave had a deep chill, he was pretty sure that wasn't the reason.

"Just far enough so that we can no longer see any light from the entrance," Rachel replied.

"Great," Callen muttered as he ran his hand back over his hair. "Damn!" Something small brushed against his ankle and he banged into Sam as he backed away from the rat or whatever creature it had been.

"Whoa, G, you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah…I felt a rat or mouse or something," Callen said. "It just startled me."

Rachel felt a shiver go down her spine as he spoke. She really hadn't thought about the kinds of creatures that resided in this place. It wasn't anywhere she would want to be trapped in. She wasn't a fan of rodents or insects either for that matter.

They were getting further into the depths now and they were each affected by it to some extent, just knowing what Callen had gone through and imagining being trapped in there themselves. Finally, the light from the entrance totally disappeared and there was no other light source other than what came from their flashlights.

"Now what?" Callen asked as he stopped walking and turned to face Rachel and his team. Inwardly, he was trying to stifle his urge to run. "Wh…what if we get lost?" he asked, already disoriented and not quite sure how to get out of there.

"Relax, G," Sam put a steadying hand on his partner's shoulder. "I have a compass. I know exactly what direction we came and how to get back out of here."

"So, now what?" Callen asked again. He could feel himself on the urge of freaking out as he imagined being alone in there, his childhood experience in the closet coming to the forefront.

"Now, we turn off our flashlights," Rachel stated. "Are you ready?"

Callen didn't answer, keeping a death grip on his flashlight, his only lifeline between light and total darkness.

"Callen?" she asked softly.

"I…I don't know…" he replied shakily.

Sam put his arm around his friend and pulled him into a hug. "This time is going to be different, G," he said reassuringly. "It's not going to be like the other times. We are here with you. We're not going anywhere. We won't abandon you. You're going to be okay. You're going to be safe. I promise you."

"Sam's right, Callen," Rachel said. "This is a totally different experience. Your team…your family supports you all the way. You're not alone."

"We're right here with you, man," Deeks said.

"We've got your back," Kensi stated.

"So are you ready?" Rachel asked him again.

"I…I guess so…"

Rachel turned off her flashlight and then Deeks. Sam looked into his partner's eyes and Callen nodded at him, then Sam's light went off as well. Only Callen's light was left now. No one spoke, they all just waited with bated breath to see what he would do. Then, his light went out and they were plunged into total darkness.

Callen closed his eyes as his breathing quickened and he tried to get his bearings, telling himself that everything was okay. When he opened his eyes again and saw nothing but darkness though, he immediately forgot that his team was with him. "I need to get out of here," he said to himself.

"G, we're here," Sam's voice came out of the darkness.

"Sam? Wh…where are you?" It was just like his nightmares, voices coming out of the darkness, but no one was there to help him. Sam grabbed his arm and squeezed it.

"I'm right here," Sam said. "We're all here, Rachel and Kensi and Deeks. You're not alone. We're with you."

"We're all here," Rachel emphasized. "I know it's dark, Callen, but nothing bad is going to happen to you. You're safe."

"We would never leave you here," Kensi said softly. She tentatively reached out into the darkness to where she thought he was and her hand lightly hit his chest. "There you are. See? We're right here. You're not alone."

"We're all here with you. We'll all be leaving this place together, Callen," Deeks said. He blindly reached out in Callen's direction and his hand landed on his shoulder. He then patted it reassuringly. "We're right here with you."

"We're your family, G," Sam said softly. "Through good and bad…you're stuck with us no matter what."

Slowly, the words of Rachel and his team began to sink in and Callen eventually started to calm down and believe what they were telling him.

Finally, in spite of the darkness, his fears slowly diminished and he began to feel safe.


	78. Chapter 78

_This chapter took a lot out of me with a ton of missteps and changes. It's been a long time coming and I hope I did it justice. Thanks for all your support._

xxxxx

At 6 a.m., Callen decided to get up. He was tired of the constant doze/wake up cycle he had been caught up in all night long. He took a shower and dressed, grateful for the private bathroom attached to his bedroom as he didn't want to wake Sam. He scribbled Sam a note on the hotel notepad saying he'd gone for a walk, took his keycard and headed down to the main entrance. He walked through the lobby, which was basically deserted except for the man and woman behind the front desk, and then went outside. Immediately, he noticed how cold it was and he was glad he had worn his jacket, which he now zippered up fully to guard against the chill. He began a brisk walk, taking in the sights and sounds of the early morning and feeling a little bit better just to be outside and on his own. He walked for a half hour and then turned around and headed back to the hotel, distributing a few dollars to some homeless people he saw along the way. It made him realize it could always be worse and he tried to develop a more positive attitude about what he needed to do that day.

Callen was just in the process of walking in through the main entrance of the hotel when he heard Deeks' voice. "Hey Callen," he called as he trotted up to him, carrying two cups. "Good morning, you're up early."

"Good morning, Deeks. The same goes for you," Callen said, holding the door open so Deeks could walk in ahead of him.

"Kensi needed a little pick me up, so I said I'd go on a coffee run. What about you?"

Callen shrugged. "I just couldn't sleep anymore so I decided to take a walk."

Deeks couldn't help but notice that Callen looked like he hadn't really slept at all, but decided that would be a counterproductive comment to make. "Hopefully, you'll sleep well tonight," he said with an encouraging smile. "I have a good feeling about today and then tonight we'll all go out for an amazing dinner. It'll be good."

Callen smiled, grateful for Deeks' attempt at making him feel better. One thing he knew for sure was that his team had gone above and beyond the call of duty for him with everything he had gone through. He knew he hadn't always made it easy for them. He really appreciated it and wasn't sure how he could ever repay any of them for what they had done for him. They walked in companionable silence to the elevator and stepped inside.

"So, we'll see you down in the lobby at 9?" Deeks said as the doors opened at his floor.

Callen nodded. "See you in a little while, Deeks."

"You take it easy, Callen."

Callen nodded as the elevator doors closed and the elevator continued its upward ascent to his and Sam's suite.

xxxxx

Sam was nervously pacing around the living room when the door to the suite clicked and Callen walked in. "G…where were you?" he asked him. He'd awoken 45 minutes ago and had noticed his partner's jacket and keycard were gone. He'd then checked G's room and had discovered, not surprisingly, that he was gone as well.

"I left you a note, Sam," Callen said, pointing at the pad on the counter of the kitchenette, next to the coffeemaker. "I went for a walk."

"Oh… well, I didn't go over there…"

"Sorry," Callen stated. "I should have just left it on the coffee table. I wasn't thinking, I guess."

Sam shook his head. "No big deal. I was just a little worried that you weren't here."

"Well, I'm here now," Callen said as he took a seat on the sofa. "And we've still got over an hour to waste before we meet the others in the lobby." He picked up the remote control and aimed it at the television set, turning it on.

"So…are you doing okay?" Sam asked as he took a seat next to Callen.

"Yeah…I'm all right," Callen said after a short hesitation. "I'll be glad when this is over with…"

"It's going to be okay, G," Sam said, putting his arm around his friend and patting his shoulder encouragingly. "We're all here for you. You're going to get through this."

Callen nodded as he tried to focus on the television. He really hoped that Sam was right.

xxxxx

Sam found a small diner on the way to the mine and after a short wait, they were seated at a window seat. "This seems like a nice place," Kensi smiled as she looked around. The place was filled to capacity and a lot of people seemed to be regulars as they were greeted by name by the restaurant personnel.

"I'm going to treat myself today," stated Sam as he looked at the menu.

Callen raised an eyebrow. "What does a treat mean to you, Sam?" he asked with a slight smirk. "Extra fruit with your fruit?"

"Oh ye of little faith, G," Sam said. "I am going to get the Lumberjack Breakfast."

Callen looked at his partner in open amusement. "You're joking…aren't you?"

Sam shook his head. "Nope and I'm going to eat it all too, bacon, eggs, sausage, home fries, toast…" If him eating a big breakfast like this brought a smile to his friend's face, it was worth it.

"Wow, Sam," Deeks said. "You really are living it up."

Hearing Sam talk about the Lumberjack Breakfast, made it sound so tempting, that Callen, Deeks and Kensi ordered it as well. Rachel decided to get French toast. Sam was inwardly satisfied that his partner had, at least, ordered a hearty breakfast. He was curious if he'd actually eat it though. Once breakfast was served, they all dug in. Callen started off fine, but then started to pick at it, as Sam had suspected he would. He didn't say anything though, knowing that his nagging was the last thing his friend needed.

After breakfast, they headed out to the SUV. Deeks tried to keep the conversation light and ongoing, but eventually it petered out with the only sounds being the radio and the voice of the GPS occasionally popping on with directions. Callen sat quietly staring out the window, but the butterflies in his stomach were flying around more ferociously with every minute that went by. His nerves were on edge and he was having a difficult time holding himself together. Once they left the main road and started along on the dirt road, he closed his eyes and started taking some deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. It wasn't really working though.

"G?"

Callen jumped and opened his eyes then looked at Sam who was staring at him worriedly. "We're here."

"Oh…" Callen hadn't even realized they had stopped. He stared out through the windshield at the mine. It didn't look particularly menacing in the daylight, but the outside of it wasn't really the problem. He didn't make a move to get out of the vehicle. He just sat there, staring at the mine. No one else did anything either, waiting to get their cues from Rachel.

"Should we get out of the car?" Rachel finally asked after a few more moments of silence. They all did as she asked, no one making a sound and then they stood outside the SUV as they looked to her for further guidance.

"Are you ready to start walking or should we take a few minutes?" Rachel asked Callen, giving him a reassuring smile.

"We…we can start walking," he said with a slight hitch in his voice. He took a deep breath and began, but his legs were shaky and he was starting to lose his grip on the present time and place. His head began to fill with nonstop imagery…his time in the mine, his memories of being locked in the closet, combined with images from his nightmares.

Sam, who was walking with Callen, couldn't help but notice that his friend's breathing had gotten increasingly more heavy and irregular and he didn't really look like he was aware of his surroundings. "G?" he said softly, but Callen didn't respond to his voice so Sam tried again. "G!" he said louder as he put his hand on Callen's shoulder.

Callen stopped short and gave Sam a confused look. Rachel had been walking behind with Kensi and Deeks but she now came forward. "Callen, are you all right?" she questioned him softly.

"I…" he looked at Rachel then at the mine and slowly shook his head. "I…I don't think I can do this," he said tremulously.

"It's okay," Rachel said. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. Nobody's trying to make you do anything you don't want to do. We can turn around right now and go back to the hotel."

Callen shook his head in despair, looking on the verge of tears. "You don't get it…I want to do this. I do. I just…I just don't think I can."

"Okay…" Rachel said calmly. "If you want to do this, what's keeping you from it? What's holding you back?"

Callen folded his arms across his chest and turned so that his back was to the mine. "I just…it's like my mind is being flooded with all this bad stuff…I keep remembering what happened when I was in there and how terrified I was and that's all mixed up with being locked in the closet when I was a kid and then the nightmares…" He shook his head. "It's just all a jumbled up mess…I'm a mess…"

Kensi, who had been listening closely, looking distressed, moved closer to Callen then handed off her crutches to Deeks. She then reached for Callen and pulled him into an embrace. "Nobody can blame you for how you're feeling," she whispered as she hugged him tightly and stroked the back of his head soothingly. "You've gone through so much and we can't put ourselves in your shoes. Rachel's right. If you want to leave here right now, we'll go, Callen. All we want is what's best for you and for you to be okay."

Callen stayed like that for a bit, letting Kensi comfort him, and then he pulled back. "Thanks, Kens…" he said. "I know you're all going to support me, no matter what I do, but…" He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I have to do this…I need to…"

"Are you sure, man?" Deeks asked. "What Kensi said is true. We won't think any less of you if you don't. We would never do that."

"I know that," Callen said, giving him a bit of an uncertain smile. "I have to do it though."

"G? Here," Sam said as he handed him a flashlight. "We're with you all the way on this. We've got your back."

Callen nodded and smiled, a bit more self-assuredly this time. "I know you do, Sam." He took another deep breath and turned around again, facing off against the mine as if preparing for battle. "Let's do this."

xxxxx

Callen clutched his flashlight tightly as he approached the opening to the mine. His determination began to waver again as he reached the entrance and he stopped short. Sam, who was right next to him, stopped as well. "You okay, G?"

Callen nodded as he turned on his flashlight and shone it into the darkness. "I'm good." He started to walk inside, his heart pounding. Already his imagination was on overdrive as he envisioned what kinds of creatures could be waiting for them within the black depths of the cave.

"This place is really creepy," Kensi whispered to Deeks. The two of them were taking up the rear while Rachel was following directly behind Callen and Sam. "I can't imagine being trapped in here all alone. No wonder he's so freaked out about it."

"Just be careful, baby and watch where you're going," Deeks cautioned her as he directed the flashlight beam ahead of them. "I don't want you to fall."

"So…how far in are we going?" Callen asked. He was shivering and although the cave had a deep chill, he was pretty sure that wasn't the reason.

"Just far enough so that we can no longer see any light from the entrance," Rachel replied.

"Great," Callen muttered as he ran his hand back over his hair. "Damn!" Something small brushed against his ankle and he banged into Sam as he backed away from the rat or whatever creature it had been.

"Whoa, G, you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah…I felt a rat or mouse or something," Callen said. "It just startled me."

Rachel felt a shiver go down her spine as he spoke. She really hadn't thought about the kinds of creatures that resided in this place. It wasn't anywhere she would want to be trapped in. She wasn't a fan of rodents or insects either for that matter.

They were getting further into the depths now and they were each affected by it to some extent, just knowing what Callen had gone through and imagining being trapped in there themselves. Finally, the light from the entrance totally disappeared and there was no other light source other than what came from their flashlights.

"Now what?" Callen asked as he stopped walking and turned to face Rachel and his team. Inwardly, he was trying to stifle his urge to run. "Wh…what if we get lost?" he asked, already disoriented and not quite sure how to get out of there.

"Relax, G," Sam put a steadying hand on his partner's shoulder. "I have a compass. I know exactly what direction we came and how to get back out of here."

"So, now what?" Callen asked again. He could feel himself on the urge of freaking out as he imagined being alone in there, his childhood experience in the closet coming to the forefront.

"Now, we turn off our flashlights," Rachel stated. "Are you ready?"

Callen didn't answer, keeping a death grip on his flashlight, his only lifeline between light and total darkness.

"Callen?" she asked softly.

"I…I don't know…" he replied shakily.

Sam put his arm around his friend and pulled him into a hug. "This time is going to be different, G," he said reassuringly. "It's not going to be like the other times. We are here with you. We're not going anywhere. We won't abandon you. You're going to be okay. You're going to be safe. I promise you."

"Sam's right, Callen," Rachel said. "This is a totally different experience. Your team…your family supports you all the way. You're not alone."

"We're right here with you, man," Deeks said.

"We've got your back," Kensi stated.

"So are you ready?" Rachel asked him again.

"I…I guess so…"

Rachel turned off her flashlight and then Deeks. Sam looked into his partner's eyes and Callen nodded at him, then Sam's light went off as well. Only Callen's light was left now. No one spoke, they all just waited with bated breath to see what he would do. Then, his light went out and they were plunged into total darkness.

Callen closed his eyes as his breathing quickened and he tried to get his bearings, telling himself that everything was okay. When he opened his eyes again and saw nothing but darkness though, he immediately forgot that his team was with him. "I need to get out of here," he said to himself.

"G, we're here," Sam's voice came out of the darkness.

"Sam? Wh…where are you?" It was just like his nightmares, voices coming out of the darkness, but no one was there to help him. Sam grabbed his arm and squeezed it.

"I'm right here," Sam said. "We're all here, Rachel and Kensi and Deeks. You're not alone. We're with you."

"We're all here," Rachel emphasized. "I know it's dark, Callen, but nothing bad is going to happen to you. You're safe."

"We would never leave you here," Kensi said softly. She tentatively reached out into the darkness to where she thought he was and her hand lightly hit his chest. "There you are. See? We're right here. You're not alone."

"We're all here with you. We'll all be leaving this place together, Callen," Deeks said. He blindly reached out in Callen's direction and his hand landed on his shoulder. He then patted it reassuringly. "We're right here with you."

"We're your family, G," Sam said softly. "Through good and bad…you're stuck with us no matter what."

Slowly, the words of Rachel and his team began to sink in and Callen eventually started to calm down and believe what they were telling him.

Finally, in spite of the darkness, his fears slowly diminished and he began to feel safe.


	79. Chapter 79

_I'm so sorry that I've been slacking with updates to this one. It's been difficult and I'm still not really all that happy with this chapter, but I need to move forward so I'm just leaving it as is… Thanks for all the support you've been giving me and my stories. It's always appreciated._

xxxxx

They stood in the darkness of the mine for a couple of minutes with no one saying anything. Callen, who was now almost completely calm, finally spoke. "So, do we just stay here indefinitely or what?" he asked, speaking louder than he had intended as his voice echoed eerily in the cave.

"I want you to try to get used to the darkness. Try not to think of it as a threat. How are you feeling right now?" Rachel asked.

"I…good, I guess," he said, shrugging, although no one could see him. The intense sense of terror he had felt when he had first been immersed in the darkness had faded dramatically. He still didn't particularly want to be there though. "So…can we leave now?"

"No, not yet," Rachel said softly. "I want you to walk me through the first memories you have of being here."

Callen sighed and allowed his mind to go back to that day when he had first awoken in the mine. "When I first woke up, I was really cold, wet and disoriented. I had no idea where I was. I was tied up and I couldn't see anything at all…until I saw the flashlight beams in the distance and I knew someone was coming..."

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked him.

"Yes," he replied, sounding a little uncertain.

"Callen, if you start to feel stressed, let me know. This isn't meant to be a punishment for you or an exercise in causing you anxiety. I don't want you trying to go past what you think your limit is. That's going to be counterproductive to what we're trying to accomplish."

"All right."

"You're sure that you're okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure."

"What happened next?"

"The lights kept getting closer and closer. I was nervous because I didn't know who was coming and I was tied up. I knew I had no real way of defending myself so I would be completely at their mercy. I knew it wasn't my team because if it was, they would have called out to me."

Deeks shuffled uncomfortably as he listened to Callen's words. Although, in his head, he knew there had been nothing he could have done to prevent Callen's abduction from the hospital, Callen had still been taken under his watch and he couldn't help the guilty feelings he still had. In the darkness, Kensi managed to find his hand and clutched it tightly. He wondered if she was a mind reader.

"Go on," Rachel prodded gently.

"When they reached me, Page explained the reason for his actions and kicked and punched me around a little bit. He…he then told me that…" Callen hesitated and inhaled deeply then let out a shaky breath.

"Callen?" Rachel questioned. "Are you all right?"

"I…I'm okay," he answered after a brief silence.

"You're sure?"

"Yes… He told me that they were…they were going to seal up the mine with me inside. Then they left me and there was an explosion and just total darkness once again."

"That must have been very frightening for you."

"It was," Callen agreed, shuddering slightly. "I thought I was going to die. I didn't have much hope of being found and…I kept having dreams, or maybe hallucinations, that my team would come to rescue me. The rescue attempts would never work out though or…or my team would just deliberately abandon me there. I was really freaked out," he remembered.

"We never would have abandoned you, G," Sam said, troubled by what his partner was saying.

"I know that, Sam, but I wasn't really in my right mind at the time. I was sick and hurt and trapped alone in here...freaked out by whatever creatures were crawling around that I couldn't even see and thinking I was going to die a very slow and torturous death. It was a horrible feeling, probably the most horrible and scared feeling I'd ever had as an adult." It was a lot for him to admit to. In some ways it was easier to talk in the dark because he didn't have to look at anyone. He didn't have to see whatever judgement his friends might have for him reflected in their eyes or expressions.

"And now?" Rachel asked.

"I…I'm all right."

"And the closet?"

"What about the closet?" he asked with a slight edge to his voice. He was beginning to tire now and was having a harder time not letting the memories affect him emotionally. There was only so much he could take.

"Can you walk me through that?"

Callen was silent and Rachel realized he'd had enough. He'd successfully revisited his time spent here, which was their main objective for this trip. She certainly wasn't going to push him anymore. "Okay everybody, lights on. I think it's time we got out of here."

Callen breathed a sigh of relief and he once again was able to see his team in the glow of the flashlights.

"You did very well, Callen," Rachel said, smiling at him. "You accomplished more than I could have hoped for."

Sam approached and put his hand on Callen's shoulder. "You all right, G?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Sam."

"You did good."

"That can't have been easy for you," Deeks stated.

"We're really proud of you, Callen," Kensi said.

"Thanks everybody," Callen said. "I'd really like to get back outside now, if that's okay." He'd had his fill of being in the mine.

"I'll second that," Deeks said, looking over at Sam. "How do we get out of here, Sam?"

"One sec," Sam said as he pulled his compass out of his pocket. He looked at it and then began leading them towards the exit, with Callen at his side. He set a slow casual pace so that Kensi wouldn't have a hard time keeping up. "So you're really good, G?" Sam asked, as they walked.

"Yeah, I am. I mean, this is never going to be my favorite place in the word, that's for sure, and I would never want to be trapped here again, but I'm not freaked out or anything."

"Well, I think that's a normal reaction," Sam said to his partner. "I don't think there are many people who would want to be trapped in here. Let's face it, G. You were brought here for a reason. Page wanted to terrorize you before he killed you. It was well planned and he captured you when you were sick and at your most vulnerable."

"Well, I guess he succeeded with the terrorize part," Callen admitted reluctantly. He never liked it when any of these criminals got the best of him.

Sam threw his arm around his friend's shoulders. "We all have our fears, G, trust me on that and any one of us here would have been badly affected if we'd gone through what you did."

Callen still had his doubts. He couldn't really imagine any of them being terrorized by the dark the way he was, but he just nodded, not wanting to debate it.

xxxxx

"You should talk to him," Kensi said softly as she and Deeks trailed behind the others.

"Talk to who?" Deeks asked, pretending not to know who Kensi was talking about.

"Talk to Callen," Kensi replied.

"I talk to Callen all the time, Kens," Deeks said.

"Come on Deeks…you know what I'm talking about," Kensi said softly. "You know that he would never even think of blaming you for what happened. He'd be shocked if he thought you blamed yourself. Sam didn't blame you and you know how much he cares about Callen."

"I don't blame myself, Kensi," Deeks said halfheartedly.

"Look me in the eyes and say that again. Then maybe I'll believe you," Kensi said.

Deeks stopped walking and stared back at Kensi. "Look me in the eyes and tell me if Callen had been abducted under your watch and went through everything he went through, that you wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about it."

Kensi gazed back at Deeks and shook her head. "I can't do that. I don't know how I'd feel. Even though it wouldn't be my fault, you're right, I'm just not sure. That's why you need to talk to him."

"I'll think about it, Kensi," Deeks said. That was really all he was willing to commit to.

xxxxx

Callen smiled to himself when he saw the light to the mine exit up ahead and unconsciously began to walk faster until Sam grabbed him.

"G, Kensi, crutches," Sam said, smiling at his overeager partner.

"Oh, sorry," Callen said, slowing his steps once again. Even at the slower pace though, it still didn't take very long before he stepped outside. A cold drizzle had developed, but he didn't mind at all. He lifted his face up towards the cloudy sky and was just glad to be out of the mine and back outdoors. He felt happier and freer than he had felt in a very long time. Sam just stood back and watched his partner. He could tell he was doing better. He just hoped what they had just done would have long lasting results and that it wasn't just a temporary fix.

xxxxx

"So it's still pretty early," Sam said as he started up the SUV and turned the vehicle around to head away from the mine. "What would you all like to do today?"

"I think Kens and I are just going to hang at the hotel until we go out this evening," Deeks said.

"And I have some paperwork I want to get through," Rachel stated. "Also, just so you know, I'm not going to be joining you for dinner tonight." She'd already decided this was better as a team activity and had no intentions of intruding on it.

"Why not?" Callen asked. "We'd like you to come with us, Rachel."

"Of course we would," Kensi chimed in quickly. "Please come."

"I'll think about it," Rachel fibbed. She would just plead a headache later. She really thought Callen would be better served by having some alone time with his team, although she appreciated their attempts to get her to join them.

"So, just you and me G?" Sam said, glancing at his partner. "Anything special you'd like to do?"

"I'm fine with just staying at the hotel, Sam," Callen replied as he gazed out the window absently.

Sam focused his attention back on the road. He was determined that his partner would have a nice afternoon. He'd have to find something that they could do.

xxxxx

Sam picked up some brochures in the lobby and then he and Callen headed back to their suite. He watched as Callen sat down on the sofa. "So, I grabbed some brochures downstairs," Sam said, passing some of them to Callen. "What would you like to do? Your pick. I'll do whatever you want."

"I think I'd just like to stay here," Callen said. He lacked any real motivation to do anything.

"Come on, G," Sam said. "How many times are you going to get to sightsee in Seattle on Hetty's dime? I'm sure Kensi and Deeks would be doing something if Kensi was more mobile. Don't waste the opportunity."

Callen shrugged. If Sam really wanted to do something, he wouldn't stand in his way. "I'll do whatever you want, Sam," he said. "Pick something."

Sam smiled. Getting his friend to agree to going out was a huge step in the right direction. He'd fine something fun to do and make sure Callen had a good day. "There's the zoo," he said, looking at the brochure on the top of the pile.

"It's kind of rainy and raw for the zoo, isn't it?" Callen asked reluctantly.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. We'll stick to more indoor type things. How about the art museum or the aquarium?"

"I don't know, Sam. You decide."

Sam wondered if maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, but now he was invested in it. "Let's go to the aquarium," he finally decided. Maybe looking at cute sea creatures would cheer his friend up. Callen had seemed to have gotten increasingly more somber during the drive back from the mine. Maybe he was just drained. "Unless…are you too tired to go out, G?" Sam asked. If his partner really was that wiped out, he wasn't going to push him into doing so.

"What?" Callen looked at Sam in surprise, wondering at his abrupt change. "I'm not too tired, Sam. Let's go." He stood up to demonstrate his willingness to do so.

"I just…I know it's been a rough day for you… we can hang out here, find some game to watch on t.v…"

"No, Sam, I'm good. Come on, let's go."

xxxxx

Sam's idea to get Callen to go out turned out to be a good one, after all. The two men slowly wandered through the aquarium and spent some time watching the antics of the seals and otters which Callen found to be enthralling. Sam couldn't help but wonder how many times his partner had gone to such places in his life, if ever. He highly doubted he'd done things like that during his childhood. He didn't want to bring it up though, not wanting to bring G down, especially when it seemed like his partner was having a good time.

After the aquarium, Sam discovered that the Seattle Pinball Museum was only nine minutes away so they decided to go there. It was a big hit with both Callen and Sam. They played a wide variety of all kinds of games from over the years. By the time they left, in order to go change before going to the Space Needle restaurant that night, Callen was all smiles and Sam was satisfied that the day had overall been a success.


	80. Chapter 80

_I'm finally back to my poor, temporarily abandoned little story. I'm sorry it has taken me so long, but I really wasn't sure where I was taking it. I think I've finally figured out my path and a few more chapters will likely wrap this one up. Thanks so much for all your support and especially to those who have stuck with it from the beginning, through all my doubts and missteps. It means a lot to me :)_

xxxxx

"Hetty would be proud of us," Callen said as he and Sam met up with Kensi and Deeks in the hotel lobby. Callen was wearing a navy blue suit and Sam had chosen dark gray. "You know the importance she places on wardrobe. The clothes make the man."

"I have to admit, we clean up pretty good," Sam said, smiling.

"You look lovely, Kensi," Callen stated. She was wearing a form fitting, backless black evening dress and Deeks was wearing a black suit to match.

"Why thank you, Callen," Kensi said with a smile. "You two gentleman are looking quite dashing yourselves. So, is Rachel coming with us?"

Callen shook his head. "She claimed to have a headache. Either she felt like a fifth wheel or this is some kind of team-building exercise that she didn't feel she should be a part of." He shrugged. "I tried, but I couldn't talk her into coming along."

"Maybe she just thought we needed some time to ourselves, no therapy, no pressure…just friends," Kensi said gently as she looked back at Callen.

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Callen said softly as he nodded with a trace of a smile on his lips.

"G and I will go get the SUV and meet the two of you out front," Sam said. He and Callen then headed down to the garage and Kensi and Deeks slowly made their way to the front entrance of the hotel to wait.

"So, have you thought anymore about what we talked about?" Kensi asked as they waited for Sam and Callen outside the hotel.

"About Callen?" Deeks asked and Kensi nodded. "No…not really," he replied with a shrug. "Why are you so focused on this, Kens? I'd just prefer to let it go."

Kensi nodded, her eyes intent as she looked back at him. "I know you would, Deeks. That's why I feel I need to push you."

Deeks shook his head. "It's not that big a deal…I know you seem to think it is, but, it's really not."

"Well then it shouldn't be a big deal to talk about it with him."

"If I talk about it, it's making a big deal out of nothing," Deeks insisted. "Seriously, Kensi. Just let it go."

For the time being, Kensi decided to let the matter drop. However, the more insistently Deeks fought against discussing this with Callen, the more she thought it needed to be discussed.

xxxxx

"So…this revolving restaurant doesn't turn very fast," Deeks said after the team had been seated at their table.

"Were you expecting an amusement park ride?" Sam asked with a grin.

"Of course not," Deeks said, "but you can't even really tell it's moving, unless you look out the window."

"That's kind of the point of it," Callen said. "It just turns to give you the whole scenic panoramic experience as you eat."

"You really don't want food to be flying off the tables, Deeks," Kensi teased, smiling at him.

The waiter came by with glasses of water and fresh, hot rolls then took their drink orders. "So…you guys are getting lots of admiring looks," Kensi said as she perused her menu. "A lot of women in our vicinity are hard-pressed to keep their eyes off our table. They must be wondering what I'm doing here with three gorgeous guys."

"Oh yeah?" Deeks asked as he brushed his hair back with his hand.

"Really Deeks?" Kensi asked.

Callen took a quick glance around but didn't really see what or who Kensi was referring to. "So, what looks good to everyone?" he asked, turning his eyes back to his menu.

"I don't know which one yet, but I'm definitely going for a steak," Deeks said.

"Yeah, me too," Sam agreed with a nod.

"That makes three of us then," Callen said. "I'm going to get the American Kobe ribeye."

Sam nodded. "That's what I was thinking of too actually."

Deeks' attention was still on the menu as he debated his choices. "I agree. The ribeye looks too good to pass up," he finally decided.

Kensi had been debating between the wild salmon and Alaskan halibut, but at the last minute, she changed her mind and ordered the ranch tenderloin and lobster tail.

"So, what did you guys end up doing today?" Deeks asked.

"We went to the aquarium and the pinball museum," Sam replied.

"A pinball museum?" Deeks' eyes lit up. "Oh that sounds awesome, how was it?"

"It was pretty cool," Callen said with a smile. "We had a good time."

They chatted about the museum and other things before the food arrived. "Oh my God." Deeks closed his eyes after he took the first bite of his steak. "Damn...this practically melts in your mouth. So good."

The others all agreed that their meals were outstanding and they quieted down as they concentrated on their food. After they had ordered dessert, Sam spoke. "So…I don't know if you've noticed, but Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away."

"Is it?" Kensi looked at Sam in surprise. "Wow…I haven't even thought about that." It was almost like they'd been in their own little cocoon, isolated in many ways from the goings on of the outside world.

"I guess it's understandable, with so much happening," Deeks said.

"Michelle and I would very much like it if you'd come to our house for Thanksgiving dinner."

Deeks shot a questioning look at Kensi who nodded. "We'd be happy to come, Sam. Thank you," he replied.

"G?" Sam asked, looking at his partner.

"You know how much I love Michelle's stuffing," Callen said, smiling. "Of course I'll be there, Sam. Thanks."

"Kam will be happy to hear that," Sam said. "She misses her Uncle Callen."

Just then, the waiter came to the table with their desserts. Callen and Deeks had ordered vanilla bean crème brulee, Kensi had decided on a chocolate layer cake and Sam had opted for the assorted cheesecake square combo. They immediately dug into the decadent treats which they all thought were just as delicious as their main courses had been. After dinner, they went up to the observation deck and took in the view of the picturesque city. It was the perfect ending to the evening.

xxxxx

"Sam…could I talk to you about something privately?" Kensi asked as they waited for the elevator back in the hotel. "Callen? Maybe you can just go to our room with Deeks until I get back?" She gave Deeks an apologetic look with her eyes. "Besides, I think Deeks has something he'd like to talk to you about too."

Callen and Sam exchanged a look. "Yes, of course you can talk to me, Kensi," Sam replied.

"No problem," Callen said. The first thought that came into his head was that his junior teammates had finally had enough of him being at their place. He really couldn't blame them. They had a right to their privacy. He supposed he'd have to go back to Sam's house. It kind of made him feel like an unwanted stray dog getting passed around, though to be fair, he knew his partner and his family would welcome him back with open arms. It was either Sam's place or Hetty's and he was pretty sure that he and Hetty would clash if he went to Dovecote.

Deeks tried to catch Kensi's eye to at least show her his displeasure with being set up, but she refused to look his way until the elevator stopped at their floor. "I'll see you later, Deeks," she said softly as he and Callen got off the elevator. He didn't answer her though, annoyed by what she had done. It was the kind of manipulation he would expect from Hetty, not from the woman he loved.

Deeks opened the door with his keycard and he and Callen entered the suite. "Make yourself comfortable," he said, watching as Callen took a seat on the sofa. "Do you want a drink or something?" He felt like he, himself, needed a drink. His mind was inwardly twisting and turning at warp speed as he tried to think of some plausible reason to talk to Callen besides the truth.

Callen watched as an uncharacteristically nervous-appearing Deeks paced around momentarily and then finally sat down near him on the sofa. "This isn't a very easy thing to talk about," Deeks finally said, staring down at the carpeting.

Callen decided to let Deeks off the hook. "Come on, Deeks. I know what you're going to say and honestly, it's fine. You and I both know Sam and his family will be good with me going there to stay. I really appreciate you and Kensi letting me stay with you for as long as you did. You don't need to feel bad."

"Huh?" Deeks finally met Callen's eyes, looking at him in confusion. For a split second, he considered going with Callen's misconception, but in good conscience he could never do that. "We don't want you to leave, Callen," he said, shaking his head. "We've already told you that you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like."

"Oh," Callen said, clearly surprised. "Uh…thanks…"

"I can't believe that's where your mind automatically goes," Deeks said. He knew it was a direct result of Callen's childhood, getting tossed from one place to another. "You know how much we care about you… at least I would hope you do by now."

Callen's cheeks flushed and now it was his turn to stare down at the carpet. Deeks sighed. This wasn't going well at all.

"So, what did you want to talk about then?" Callen asked, finally looking up again and meeting Deeks' eyes.

"I…" Deeks nervously brushed his hair back with his hand and Callen stared at him, now curious about what could have Deeks behaving in this manner. "When…when you were abducted from the hospital…" he finally managed to say.

Callen was now totally baffled. "What about it?" he asked.

"It was my fault, Callen, I'm sorry." Now that he'd said it, the floodgates opened and Deeks began to speak rapidly. "All of this…everything that's happened to you. It's all on me. The mine, the darkness, your fears, your nightmares, having to go through therapy… If I had just stopped them somehow, you would have been spared all of this. I can't…I can't tell you how sorry I am." He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to contain the tears that were threatening to spill out.

Callen stared at Deeks as he tried to grasp all that was going on inside the younger man's head. "Deeks…" he began, shaking his head. "It wasn't your fault. None of it… I…I can't even understand how you could be blaming yourself. You were drastically outnumbered. There wasn't anything you could have done to stop them. If you had resisted, chances are high they would have killed you."

Deeks just shook his head then sighed heavily. "You don't know that."

"Come off it," Callen said, a slight edge to his tone. He couldn't even comprehend why Deeks wasn't grasping this. "What do you think you could have done?"

"I don't know," Deeks said sadly. "Something…anything…"

"Nothing except get yourself killed…do you have some kind of a death wish, Deeks?"

"What? No," Deeks answered quickly.

"Do you know what that would have done to Kensi? To Sam? To me?" Callen shook his head. "I, for one, am very glad that you came through that without being badly hurt. If you had been, that would have been on me."

"It wouldn't have been on you, Callen," Deeks said, shaking his head. "You weren't even out of the ICU yet. You weren't in good shape."

Callen sighed heavily. "Fine, Deeks. You want to play the blame game? You wouldn't have been in the plane crash if it wasn't for me. You could have been killed. Kensi could have been killed. That would have been on me."

"Now you're being stupid," Deeks stated.

"No more stupid than you."

Deeks tried to keep a straight face, but he couldn't help smiling. "I guess we're both being stupid then."

Callen nodded. "I guess we are." He stared at Deeks, his eyes serious. "You've really been letting this fester inside of you? I wish you had said something before now."

"Yeah well…I wasn't planning on saying anything to you any time soon…likely not ever."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I didn't," Deeks said, shaking his head. "Kensi changed it for me."

"Ah," Callen said as he began to figure out what had happened. "So she didn't really need to talk to Sam?"

"No," Deeks said, shaking his head once again. "Not unless she had something to tell him that I'm unaware of."

"Well, I'm glad she forced you to open up then," Callen said. "What happened was in no way your fault and I wouldn't have wanted you to carry that around with you."

"I guess I get what you're saying," Deeks said.

"I really hope that's true, Deeks," Callen said intently. "I hope you're not just paying me lip service."

"I'm not, Callen," Deeks said. He could see how much the other man meant what he was saying and he was beginning to realize just how much self-damage he could have done by continuing to dwell on it.

"Promise?"

Deeks nodded and broke into a grin. "Yeah, Callen. I promise."

xxxxx

Kensi hesitated outside the door to her and Deeks' suite then took a deep breath before she let herself in. Deeks was sitting on the sofa, an undecipherable expression on his face. Kensi crutched her way over to the sofa and stood in front of him. "Can I sit down?" she asked. "Or are you still angry with me?"

"You can sit down." Deeks looked up at her and sighed softly. "I'm not sure angry is the right word, Kens," he admitted. "Maybe disappointed is more fitting."

"I'm sorry," she said as she sat down beside him. "I just…I really thought you needed to talk to Callen."

"I know you did," Deeks said, shaking his head. "But it was my decision to make, Kensi, not yours."

"Did the talk not go well?" she asked, looking concerned.

"That's not really the point," Deeks said.

"So it did go well?" Kensi asked, hopefully.

"Yes, it went well," Deeks admitted, "but...it still doesn't really excuse what you did."

"I was just trying to help. I hated for you to be feeling so much pain over something that wasn't your fault."

Deeks sighed. "I understand that and I'm sorry I didn't take your concerns more seriously, but…"

"I'm sorry too," Kensi interrupted him and moved in closer to him. "I just couldn't think of what else to do, but…you're right. I shouldn't have manipulated you that way. It was wrong."

"It was wrong," he agreed, trying to appear angry, but failing miserably. So many bad things had happened to them that he just couldn't find it in his heart to be upset with her about this. Life was just too short.

Kensi moved in against him and placed her head on his shoulder, knowing that he had already forgiven her.

"You know…" Deeks began as he put his arm around her. "Callen thought I wanted to talk to him because we wanted him out of our place."

"What?" Kensi asked, raising her head from Deeks' shoulder and looking openly distressed. "Really?"

Deeks nodded. "See all the trouble you could have caused?"

Kensi sighed softly. "I never thought he'd think something like that."

"You know how he thinks, Kens. Ever since this whole thing happened, his self-confidence is nowhere near where it should be."

"We need to find a way to help him with that," Kensi said as she once again lowered her head onto Deeks' shoulder.

"I think that being back at work should help him," Deeks said. "It will be a step in the right direction, anyway."

Kensi nodded. "I think you're right…" She hoped so anyway.

xxxxx

"So, how did things go?" Sam asked his partner after Kensi had left to go back to her and Deeks' suite.

"Did Kensi tell you what that was about?" Callen asked as he slumped tiredly on the sofa. He had to admit that he was spent, both physically and emotionally. It had been a long day.

Sam nodded. "Yes, once we got in here she told me."

"I can't believe he was carrying that around with him," Callen said. "It never would have even occurred to me."

"I think we all carry around stuff from what happened, G," Sam said. "It's been a pretty profound experience when you really think about everything that's happened."

"You don't carry around stuff though, right?" Callen asked, looking at his partner curiously. "You did everything for us. I'm pretty sure you saved my life out there."

Sam sighed then shook his head as he remembered the sick feeling in his stomach when Deeks had found the locator beacon and he'd realized how he had botched things up by not finding it the day the plane had crashed.

"Sam?"

"The locator beacon…" Sam whispered.

"What about it?" Callen asked softly.

"When Deeks found it…I realized all the suffering you could have been spared if…if I had only searched that bag a little bit more closely on day one."

"Sam…you did everything for me out there," Callen stated. "I'm alive because of you."

"And you could have died because of me."

"It wasn't your fault," Callen insisted. He could feel his own emotions beginning to get away from him. It seemed like everyone was upset because of this damn plane crash. "Please don't blame yourself."

Sam looked back at his partner and saw the tears brimming in his eyes. He ran his hand over his face and shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was upset his friend any further. He knew he needed to just let it go. The important thing was that they had all gotten through the ordeal alive and G was finally beginning to recover from what clearly taken a toll on him. "I'll try, G," he said, forcing a smile in his friend's direction.

"Try hard, Sam," Callen pleaded quietly. He didn't want his friends to be blaming themselves anymore. What had happened wasn't their fault and he reluctantly had to admit wasn't his fault either.

xxxxx

An hour or so later, Sam and Callen headed to their bedrooms to get some well-deserved rest. Callen tiredly changed into some light sweats and a t-shirt and buried himself under the covers. He turned onto his side and stared at the lamp on the small nightstand next to his bed. Finally, he reached over and turned the lamp off, then laid there in the darkness. He no longer felt the overwhelming terror he had been feeling, but after a good five minutes or so, he felt the need to turn the light back on. He knew he had to accept that his demons weren't automatically going to be erased because he had come to terms with his experience in the mine. He was going to have to try to be patient. Leaving the light on, he finally closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	81. Chapter 81

_To French Fan, I just wanted to give you a special thank you since I can't ever respond to you personally. I really appreciate the support you have given to all my stories much more than I can say. Thank you so much. To NCISLA Fan, thanks so much for your comments. I've always had Jonathan Page in the back of my mind for a possible sequel, but if I decide to do it, it won't be for a while. I want to make sure it's well planned out if I go that route. I've given Callen such a bad time in this story that I really think I need to start fixing him. I also have other things planned before I think about continuing this one. To everyone else, thanks so much for all your comments, much appreciated, as always :)_

xxxxx

Callen's new schedule started the Monday following his and the team's return from Seattle. He would be working from 9 to 1 and then would have a standing appointment with Rachel each day at 2, unless a change was necessary for some reason. Monday and Tuesday went very smoothly. He did his work and left both days without protest. It wasn't until Wednesday that a problem erupted. He and Kensi were watching up in Ops as Sam and Deeks, as part of a special ops team, went to take down a dangerous group of terrorists. They watched the image on the screen as gunshots were fired and the men and women entered the building. Minutes later, there was an explosion and the audio and video feeds both were lost. "Eric?" Callen called out anxiously. "Get them back!"

"I'm trying, Callen," Eric said, clearly frazzled by the situation and the intense way that Callen was watching him. To her credit, Kensi had noticeably paled, but she hadn't said anything.

"I should be with them," Callen said angrily, as he paced around Ops. "I shouldn't have to be stuck up here behind the scenes like this."

"But yet that was our agreement, Mr. Callen," Hetty said as she came into Ops and watched him worriedly. "I was afraid this was going to happen."

"What? I'm not allowed to voice my opinion, Hetty?" he asked, his voice filled with tension. "It's my team. I have a right to be concerned about them."

"It's not your team right now, Callen," Granger said calmly as he entered the room. Callen glared at the other man but didn't contradict what he said. He knew that Granger was right. For right now, it was Sam's team. Knowing that didn't erase his feelings, however.

"Got an audio feed," Eric said. "Sam? Deeks? Status?"

"We're good," Sam's voice came through loud and clear. "Op was a success. Repeat Op was a success."

Callen and Kensi shared a heartfelt look when they heard Sam's words, both appearing visibly more relaxed. "Mr. Callen? It's after 1," Hetty said quietly. "I believe Ms. Cranston will be expecting you."

Wanting nothing more than to wait for Sam and Deeks to return from their mission, Callen was about to protest, but one look at Hetty's face made him realize that would bring him nothing but trouble. He didn't want to lose his part-time status. It was frustrating, but a lot better than not coming to work at all. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he reluctantly made his way out of Ops. He headed downstairs to his desk, gathered his belongings and headed out for the day.

xxxxx

"Hey baby," Deeks grinned at Kensi as he and Sam returned to their desks a couple of hours later.

"Deeks," Kensi said with a relieved smile. She scanned him with her eyes and was glad to see only a slight bruise on his right cheek. Other than that, he appeared intact. "Are you guys okay?"

Both men nodded. "It wasn't easy," Sam stated, "but we got the job done."

Kensi nodded as she looked at Sam thoughtfully. "Would you like to come to our place for dinner tonight?" she asked him. "Michelle and Kamran are more than welcome as well."

"Tonight?" Sam asked, a little surprised by the last minute invitation. "Sure. It will just be me though. Michelle and Kam are actually having dinner with some friends tonight." He had been going to ask G if he wanted to go out for dinner, but the op had come up suddenly and he had never had a chance to. "Any special reason for the invite?"

Kensi sighed then nodded. "Callen seemed pretty rattled today by what happened."

"You mean with our op?" Sam asked.

"Yes," Kensi said with a nod. "He was upset that he couldn't be there and then I don't think he wanted to leave here at 1, but he did. He was really worried, Sam." Her eyes went to Deeks and she whispered "We both were."

"I'll come by, Kens," Sam said, nodding. "Thanks." He was glad to know that Kensi and Deeks were so attuned to Callen's moods and what he might need. Sam had to admit, when his partner had first gone to stay with them, he'd been worried that it wouldn't be a good place for him to be. But their junior team members had proven themselves more than capable of meeting the challenges that G provided for them.

xxxxx

From the moment Callen opened the door to let her enter Kensi and Deeks' home, Rachel could see there was something wrong. Callen was silent as he waited for her to sit down on a chair and then he sat down on the sofa and waited.

"Bad day at the office?" Rachel finally asked when she realized he wasn't going to say anything.

"Something like that."

"Well, I didn't have any particular topic on my agenda," she began. "I suppose that's as good a place as any to start."

"There really isn't anything to say."

She studied him for a few moments and it was obvious to her that he was unhappy. "From the look of you, I think there's plenty to say."

"I'm just tired of this part time stuff," he said. "I'm not useful in this capacity."

Rachel shook her head slowly. "Oh Callen, it has only been a few days. I think you'd better get used to it. You haven't even been cleared medically yet and frankly, I'm nowhere near to clearing you for full duty."

"Well, I don't agree with you," he stated, his blue eyes intense.

"Well, I'm sorry about that, but you're a little bit biased as far as this goes. You're going to need to be more patient than this."

"Granger never wants me to go back," Callen said. "He's constantly reminding me that the team isn't mine. He wants Sam to run it permanently. I know he does."

"And do you think that's what Sam wants too?" Rachel asked.

Callen sighed as he thought about her question. "No…I don't know…maybe? I mean Sam is really good at what he does. He deserves the chance to run his own team. As it is, we usually make decisions together."

"So…you think Sam wants to take the position from you?"

"No," Callen admitted after thinking it over a little bit more. "I know he wouldn't do that."

"So you're worrying needlessly," Rachel said. "I see no evidence that you won't get your job back, Callen. But you are going to have to practice more patience. You said that you'd be satisfied with working part-time for the time being. And you can't do it for more than a few days? That's just not good."

"I can't help it if I worry about them," he said softly. "I should be out there…I should have their backs."

"I'm afraid you're going to have to trust others to take care of that right now," Rachel replied. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm afraid it's your reality right now. Besides, didn't I hear that you're not even cleared to practice shooting yet?"

"Yes, but…"

"No buts, Callen," Rachel said seriously. "You need to work within the framework that Hetty established for you right now. We're not going to magically change our minds because you don't like it. I'm sorry."

"Well…if I don't have any other options…"

"You don't."

"I guess I'm just going to have to make it work," he said with clear disappointment in his eyes.

"Yes, I guess you are."

xxxxx

"Who's coming to dinner?" Callen asked as he eyed the extra place setting on the table. Deeks was in the kitchen, cooking and humming and generally having a good time for himself.

"We invited Sam," Deeks replied. "Wait until you taste these meatballs, Callen. They're really great, if I do say so myself."

"He's right about that," Kensi said as she crutched over to the kitchen table and took a seat. "They're delicious. And nobody make sauce like Deeks' homemade sauce."

"Why did you invite Sam over?" Callen asked, not particularly concerned with the merits of Deeks' cooking at the moment.

Kensi and Deeks exchanged a worried look. "Uh…we thought it might be nice," Deeks answered. "Why? Should we not have invited him? He is your partner after all."

"Don't you mean your partner?" Callen asked. "Granger made it clear to me that I'm not a part of the team."

"Come on, Callen…he didn't really say that," Kensi protested. "He just said you're not the leader, right now. It's temporary. And you're still part of the team."

"Whatever," Callen said. He began to make his way into the living room when Deeks stopped him.

"Can you make the salad?" Deeks asked.

Usually glad to be of help, Callen was in no mood to do so at the moment, but after all his teammates had done and continued to do for him, he knew he couldn't refuse. He also knew he was kind of acting like a jerk. "Yeah, of course," he said as he went to the refrigerator to get what he needed.

Deeks smiled to himself as he watched Callen begin to chop up the vegetables. Maybe assisting in the dinner preparation would get him out of his foul mood, but if not, he had confidence Sam's presence would help him in that regard.

Callen had just finished putting all the ingredients together when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Callen said as he headed to the door.

"Junior is in a bad mood tonight," Deeks said quietly when Callen was out of earshot.

"He just had a bad day," Kensi said. "It happens. He'll be okay."

"Well, I've heard the taste of my homemade spaghetti sauce can bring a smile to Ebenezer Scrooge's face," Deeks said with a grin. "I guess we'll put that theory to the test."

"Don't you dare call him that," Kensi said, shaking her head but unable to hold back a smile.

"I won't, Fern," Deeks said, still grinning. "I'll be on my very best behavior. You'll see."

"Well, you'd better be."

xxxxx

"Hey Sam," Callen greeted his partner as he opened the door. "Come on in."

"Thanks," Sam said, his eyes on Callen as he entered the house and the two men walked into the living room.

"Have a seat," Callen said. "Can I get you a drink?"

Sam shook his head as he took a seat on the sofa. "I'm good. Sit with me, G. How was your day? You were gone before Deeks and I got back."

There was a quick flash of emotion on Callen's face before he schooled his features into an expressionless mask. "It was fine, Sam…you and Deeks…you did a good job out there."

Callen was good, but not good enough to fool his partner. "What's going on with you?" Sam asked softly.

"Nothing," Callen denied quickly as his stared down at the floor. "Why does everyone think something's going on with me?"

"Okay G," Sam said with a shrug. "You don't have to tell me, but you're not fooling anyone."

Callen sighed heavily. "I just…I hated watching you guys from Ops…then we lost all communication and…I just wanted to be there too, Sam. I don't like being left behind and having to worry about you."

"I know you don't, G," Sam said understandingly. "I know it's hard for you. It would be hard for me too, but right now, it's what you have to do to get your job back."

"Is that what you really think?" Callen asked softly as he met Sam's gaze.

"Of course," Sam said, looking a little bit confused. "Why? What else would I be thinking?"

"We both know Granger doesn't want me to have that job back," Callen said.

"Do you really think I'm out for your job, G?" Sam asked. "After all these years together? Because if you do…"

"No," Callen quickly interrupted Sam and shook his head. "No, of course I don't think that, but if Granger offers it to you, you can't very well refuse it."

"Of course I can refuse. I'm not going to take your job out from under you. I would never do that, G. Besides, no matter what you think, I don't believe that's Granger's agenda. I know you think it is and I get it. The two of you have had your moments when you've clashed, but I really think you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. Just do what you're supposed to do, try to follow Hetty's rules and this isn't going to be as painful as you think it is."

"I guess you're right," Callen said reluctantly.

"Hey you guys, soups on," Deeks said, coming into the living room. "Or I guess in this case, pasta is on. Come on and get it while it's hot."

"Pasta sounds damn good," Sam said as he got to his feet and Callen did as well. Sam threw his arm around Callen's shoulders and pulled him into a playful hug. "Everything's going to be fine, G. You'll see."

And by the end of the dinner, as Deeks had predicted, the combination of good food and the presence of supportive friends had changed Callen's mood for the better. He was visibly more relaxed and happy by the time Deeks served the homemade chocolate parfaits and the team meal was an obvious success.

xxxxx

For the next week, Callen tried hard to do as Rachel and Sam had suggested and generally was successful. He managed to follow the rules at work and kept his feelings inside even when Hetty or Granger tested him, which was more often than he liked. Then it was Thanksgiving and as much as he had wanted to return to work, the four day weekend was a welcome break. He also had an upcoming appointment with Dr. Bryant the following Monday. He was hoping, at that point, to be cleared to run and practice shooting. He was also going to have a break from therapy until Monday as Rachel had left Los Angeles to go have Thanksgiving dinner with her own family.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Uncle Callen!" Kamran hugged him tightly as she greeted him, Kensi and Deeks at the door. "Happy Thanksgiving, Uncle Deeks and Aunt Kensi!"

"Happy Thanksgiving, Kam. Can we come in?" Callen asked, grinning at the bundle of energy. They went into the house and found Aiden sitting in the living room, his attention on a football game.

"Hey, Uncle Callen, Happy Thanksgiving." Aiden came over to greet them. "It's nice to see you all."

"It's good to see you too, Aiden," Callen said as he and Sam's son embraced. "It's been a while."

"It has been a while," Aiden said solemnly. "I'm sorry to hear about everything you've gone through."

"It's all good now," Callen said quickly, offering the young man a reassuring smile. "We're all doing fine."

xxxxx

Callen and Deeks joined Aiden to watch the football game while Kensi made her way into the kitchen to see if there was anything she could do to help. Michelle had everything well in hand, but she welcomed Kensi's company and Sam used the opportunity to make his escape and join the men in the living room.

"How are you guys doing today?" Sam asked as he took a small paper plate and placed some cheese and crackers on it from the platter on the coffee table.

"We're good, Sam, you?" Deeks replied.

"I'm good," Sam said as he turned his eyes toward his quiet partner. "Cat got your tongue, G?"

Callen shook his head. "No, I'm good, Sam, just watching the game."

Sam nodded and decided to take G at his word. He didn't appear to be depressed or in a particularly bad mood, just quiet which was fine. They continued to watch the game until Michelle called for Sam to come and carve the turkey. "Do you need us to do anything?" Callen asked as Sam got to his feet.

Sam quickly shook his head. "You're our guests today, just relax and watch the game. We'll be eating really soon," Sam said with a smile.

xxxxx

Once the turkey had been carved and everyone was gathered at the table laden with food, Michelle spoke. "Why don't we just quickly go around the table and everyone can say what he or she is thankful for. I'll start. I'm thankful to have my husband, children and friends here with me, safe and sound," Michelle said.

"I'm thankful for my family and friends and that my partner is recovering from everything he's had to go through these past weeks," Sam said, giving a heartfelt look to Callen who flushed slightly under Sam's gaze.

"I'm thankful for all my friends who have been really supportive and taken such good care of me, even when I've given them plenty of reasons not to," Callen said, not meeting anyone's eyes as he looked down at the table.

"I'm thankful for this woman, who I love more than I could possibly imagine," Deeks said, smiling at Kensi, "and my friends and especially for Sam who did a kick-ass job of getting us through the aftermath of the plane crash."

"I'm thankful for Deeks who I love so much," Kensi said, "and for my friends gathered here today who I wish all the best life has to offer for."

"I'm thankful that I aced all my mid-terms and that school is going great this year," Aiden said with a grin.

"I'm thankful that my Uncle Callen is getting much better," Kamran said. She then gave a sweet smile to Callen who smiled back at her, touched by what she had said.

"Can we eat now?" Aiden asked. Everyone laughed and Sam told them to dig in. The rest of the day was filled with lots of food, laughter, football and just enjoying each other's company. It was a very happy Thanksgiving for all of them.

xxxxx

*** _Yes, I know the ending of this chapter was kind of sappy, but I thought they deserved it :)_ ***


	82. Chapter 82

_Really getting down to the end of this one. Just two or three more chapters after this one (I think lol). Not really sure how I feel about it. Part of me is happy I see the end in sight, but another part will be sad to have this one finished. In any case, I really appreciate all of you who have been reading and supporting it (especially during this busy holiday season). I know I'm behind myself in writing and reading as well. Thanks, as always._

xxxxx

Callen sat patiently as Dr. Bryant performed a thorough examination. Finally, he finished and wrote a few notes into his tablet with a stylus pen. "Well?" Callen asked, looking at the doctor through slightly anxious eyes.

"Well...I'm going to clear you to begin practicing your skills to return to field work, running as tolerated and shooting. I still wouldn't recommend wrestling with your partner yet or anything like that," he said with a chuckle.

"Running and shooting sound good to me," Callen said with a pleased smile. At least shooting would give him something new and different to be able to do at the office besides the constant stream of paperwork. He had taken to doing a lot of Sam's for him and Kensi had been doing the same for Deeks. It was better than not being allowed to work at all, but he still found it tedious to be confined to the office. He wasn't sure why he couldn't do interrogations or help with interviews in the field, but he wasn't going to push his luck. Even if he could convince Hetty, he knew that Granger would never allow it.

"So…do you have any idea when I might be cleared to go back to work full-time?" Callen asked.

Dr. Bryant shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. "Uh-uh Callen," he said. "Henrietta warned me you might try to push that. Let's see how you do with this. Make another appointment for two weeks from now and I'll reevaluate you, okay?"

Callen nodded. Sometimes he found Hetty's constant meddling in his affairs to be extremely intrusive, but he supposed he couldn't do much about it. She wasn't going to change her ways at this point in her life. "Is that it?" he asked.

"Yes, you're all set," Dr. Bryant said with a nod. "Just make the appointment with my secretary and I'll see you again in two weeks. Remember not to overdo it. If any activity causes you discomfort or pain, that's a sign to ease up a bit, okay? Not doing so is only going to slow you down in the long run."

"Don't worry, doc, I'll follow your orders. See you in a couple of weeks."

"I'll see you, Callen."

xxxxx

Since he had already met with Rachel before his appointment with Dr. Bryant, Callen started driving in the direction of Kensi and Deeks' house. Overall, he was pretty happy with the way the day had gone. He had also had three nightmare-free nights in a row which was contributing to his overall state of well-being. He had just turned his car onto Maple Drive when his attention was caught by smoke billowing from a house. He pulled his car to the side of the road and had just gotten out when a hysterical woman emerged from the front door of the house. She was carrying a baby and holding the hand of a toddler. He immediately ran over to her. "Are you okay?"

She turned back towards the house and started to scream, "Sarah! Sarah, where are you?!" She then turned back to Callen. "My little girl! She was right behind me!"

Callen handed her his cell phone. "Call 911. I'll try to find her!" He ran towards the house, took off his jacket as he did so and then entered the smoky building. "Sarah!" he yelled. "Sarah?! Where are you?" He covered his mouth and nose with the jacket in an attempt to breathe in less of the smoke. "Sarah!" Out of the corner of his eye he spied a closet and working on nothing more than a gut feeling, he went over to it and opened the door. There, on the floor, was a small girl, about five years old, who looked up at him terrified as she tried to back away. "It's okay, sweetheart," Callen said soothingly. "I've come to bring you to your mom." He picked her up from the floor and put his jacket over her as she buried her face into his chest. The smoke was thicker now and the loud, crackling flames were multiplying as he tried to find his way to the front door. His eyes were watering and burning and he could barely see. Just as he made his way to the front door, he could feel the flames on his leg and knew he was in trouble. Coughing and choking, he ran out through the front doorway and put the child down, then threw himself down on the ground and rolled around as he tried to extinguish the flame. A firefighter quickly ran over to him and made sure the flames were out.

"Is anyone else in there?" the fireman asked Callen.

Callen shook his head, his eyes on the mother who was hugging her daughter and sobbing in relief. "No…no, I don't think so."

"Okay, I'm going to get to work," the fireman said as he looked over to where two paramedics were getting out of the ambulance which had just pulled up. Another ambulance pulled up right behind it. "Hey Glenn, Ryan, over here!" The two paramedics hurried over, carrying their medical supplies. "Take a look at this guy over here." He then trotted over to the other team of paramedics and directed them to where Saran and her family were.

"I'm really okay," Callen said as they put down their equipment.

"Why don't you let us be the judge of that," said one of the paramedics as he carefully began to cut the material away from Callen's pants. The other one wrapped a blood pressure cuff around his arm. "That doesn't look too good," he said. "You need to be seen at the ER."

Callen shook his head, but kept his eyes diverted from the burn as he tried to ignore the pain he was feeling. "Is that really necessary?" he asked.

"Yes it is," the paramedic said. "Unless you want to end up with a painful, nasty infection that will put you in the hospital."

"Okay, fine," Callen said, relenting. At least no one from the team was around. Hopefully, he could just keep this to himself.

They were in the process of walking over to the ambulance when Sarah's mother came running over to him. "I just wanted to say thank you…thank you so much for what you did for my little girl," she said with tears in her eyes. "I can't even imagine what I would have done if…" she shook her head in dismay.

"Is she okay?" Callen asked her.

She nodded. "Yes, they just want to bring her in to be examined, but they think she's going to be fine."

"I'm glad to hear that," Callen said, smiling.

"I'd better get back to my kids, but, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am." Her eyes went down to his leg. "Are you going to be okay?"

Callen nodded quickly. "Yes, I'm okay."

"That's good," she said. "I'm very happy to hear it."

"Good luck with Sarah," Callen said.

"Thank you so much."

With that, Callen headed over to the ambulance with the two paramedics in order to get transported to the ER.

xxxxx

Sam and Deeks were both busily working on their computers as they typed up notes from their latest set of witness interviews. Kensi was caught up on most of her work and was mostly just playing around on her computer, more than a little bit bored. She was eagerly looking forward to her return to full duty. She knew she would likely have to endure some PT before that happened, but once she got the cast off, it would be that much closer.

"Hey guys," Eric came into the bullpen, looking concerned. "I just thought I should let you know that my computer just got a hit on Callen's name. He checked into the UCLA Medical Center Emergency Room."

"What?" Sam asked, his eyes immediately filled with worry. "Why?"

Eric shook his head. "I don't know…I really didn't think I should be digging through Callen's medical records." Somehow, that just didn't seem right to him.

Hetty had silently made her way into the bullpen and had heard all of what Eric had just revealed. "Ms. Blye," she said as she turned her attention to Kensi. "Has Mr. Callen been working on anything that we should know about?"

Kensi shook her head. "Not that I'm aware of, Hetty," she replied. "From what I know, we've been working on the same things. I haven't noticed him digging into anything new."

"Hetty?" Sam looked at the operations manager beseechingly.

Hetty nodded. "Go," she said to Sam. "Make sure you keep us apprised, Mr. Hanna."

"I will," Sam said as he hastily began to gather his belongings and got up from his desk. "Thank you, Hetty. I'll let you know."

xxxxx

Callen lay on the bed in the ER cubicle, trying to ignore the pain in his leg. He still hadn't even looked at the wound. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason he just didn't want to see it. He wished the doctor would hurry up and examine him. He knew if he got home too late, he was going to have to come clean with Kensi and Deeks about where he'd been. He wasn't about to start lying to them, not after all they had done for him.

The nurse who had taken his vitals came in and looked at him sympathetically. "It shouldn't be too much longer," she told him. "By the way, there's someone in the waiting area who would like to see you. Should I send him in or would you rather be alone?"

"Who is it?" Callen asked suspiciously, though he already had a good idea of who it was.

"He said his name is Sam," the nurse replied.

Callen sighed and nodded, knowing the gig was up. "Sure, you can send him in," he said.

A few minutes later, his partner entered the cubicle, his expression a mixture of annoyance and concern. "What did you get yourself into now, G?" he asked. "Hetty's not going to be really happy if you're working on cases on your own."

"What?" Callen glared back at his friend. "Why would you even go there, Sam?" he retorted. "What exactly do you all think I'm working on? Give me a break." The pain in his leg was furthering his irritation and he had to hold back his urge to tell Sam to go to hell.

Sam could see that Callen was upset and he realized his partner was being honest. "I'm sorry," he said. "What happened to you?" but even as he asked the question, his eyes went to Callen's leg and he was filled with sympathy. "That looks nasty, G."

Callen gnawed on the inside of his cheek, not responding to Sam.

"Come on, G," Sam tried again. "I said I was sorry."

"It's just a burn, Sam…no big deal."

"It kind of looks like a big deal to me," Sam said softly. "How did it happen?"

Callen shrugged. "I just got caught up in something."

"You not talking about it is only going to make people think you were doing something you shouldn't have been doing," Sam cautioned.

"What people, Sam? You?" Callen challenged. "Hetty? Think whatever you want. Everyone just loves jumping to conclusions, don't they?"

"G…" Sam began but just then the doctor stepped into the cubicle. He was tall and thin with dark hair and glasses.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Peabody," he said as he looked from Callen to Sam. "Am I interrupting something?"

Callen shook his head. "No, we're good."

"If you wouldn't mind going back to the waiting area? I'll have someone let you know when you can come back," he said, directing his attention to Sam.

Sam nodded and silently left the cubicle as the doctor began to look at Callen's leg. "Hmm…you really did a job on this," he commented. "On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate the pain?"

"Uh…I don't know," Callen said, "I guess a two?"

"Really…" the doctor said musingly. "Well then, either you have a very high tolerance for pain or this burn may be even worse than it appears. I may have to have you evaluated by the burn unit."

"What? Why?" Callen protested quickly.

"If your pain level is that low, it indicates there could be nerve damage and the burn may be pretty deep."

Callen sighed. "Fine…maybe it's higher than a two…"

"How much higher?" the doctor asked. It wasn't the first time he had dealt with such patients who were compelled to downplay their injuries and illnesses.

"I guess… an eight."

Dr. Peabody smiled slightly. "That's more like what I was expecting to hear," he said. "That wasn't so difficult now, was it? Okay, I'm going to go get what I need to clean and dress this properly. It looks like a second degree burn. With proper treatment and follow up, you should come through this just fine. Do you want me to get your friend to keep you company?"

Callen shook his head. "No, that's okay. He can just wait out there." He knew he should be grateful that Sam had come to the hospital, although he didn't even know how his friend had known he was there. He also knew he should want him to come back, but at the moment he was pretty irked by him and preferred to be alone.

"Okay then, I'll be back shortly."

xxxxx

It was almost an hour before Callen emerged from behind the Emergency Room patient area, carrying a roll of gauze as well as a prescription for an antibiotic cream. He walked out into the ER waiting room and saw Sam sitting there, waiting. Sam got up from his chair and came over to Callen. "Hey G? Are you okay?" he asked. There was only concern in his voice, no accusation.

"I'm good," Callen said. His defensiveness was now gone, leaving him only tired and weary. "Can you take me to get my car?"

Sam looked at his obviously exhausted partner and shook his head. "Why don't I just take you back to Kensi and Deeks' place? You can go in with them tomorrow morning and I'll take you back to get your car when you leave work."

Callen hesitated and then nodded. "Okay…thanks."

"No problem…Do you want me to go get the car and meet you out front?" Sam wasn't sure how much pain Callen was in and if walking made it worse.

"I'm good," Callen said. At that moment, all he wanted was to get away from the hospital as fast as he could. He was grateful he hadn't been injured more severely and just glad that he hadn't needed to be admitted. He'd had his fill of being hospitalized after the plane crash. They walked through the parking lot in silence until they reached the spot where Sam had parked his Challenger. Sam unlocked the car and Callen slumped wearily into the front passenger seat.

Sam started up the car and Callen leaned his head back against his seat with his eyes closed. "So…I'm guessing everyone knows what happened?" he asked, his eyes still shut.

"I let everyone know that you're okay, but no one really knows what really happened to you, including myself," Sam answered.

"How'd you even know where I was to begin with?" Callen asked, opening his eyes and glancing at his partner.

"Eric."

Callen shook his head slowly. "Did Hetty implant some sort of tracking device into me?" he asked, only partially kidding. There were times when he wouldn't put anything past the tiny but scary woman.

Sam shrugged. "It came up on his computer that you'd checked into the ER," he explained. "We didn't know why or what had happened to you."

Callen rolled his eyes. "No privacy at all," he muttered.

"Eric only knew that you were there, G. He didn't go into any of your private information."

"Even so," Callen said, shaking his head unhappily. "What if I wanted the hospital visit itself to be private? It's a little ridiculous that everything I do is public knowledge."

"It was just the team," Sam said. "I'm sorry if my going there upset you."

"You didn't upset me, Sam," Callen said honestly. Suddenly, he remembered the prescription for the antibiotic cream he needed to get filled. "I have a prescription. Do you mind stopping at a pharmacy?" He had briefly thought about putting it off, but the doctor had stressed the importance of following directions and he wanted to do all he could to avoid developing an infection.

"Of course," Sam said agreeably. "We can stop by the one right by Kensi and Deeks' house."

"Thanks," Callen said as he allowed his eyes to close. At this point, any annoyance he had been experiencing had passed and now he was only grateful that Sam had shown up at the hospital the way he had. The soft jazz music on Sam's car stereo and the motion of the car only served to increase Callen's drowsiness. In no time at all, he had fallen asleep.

About 20 minutes later, Sam pulled the Challenger into a spot in the pharmacy parking lot. "G?" The words died on his lips when he saw that his partner was sound asleep. His eyes went to the gauze and the prescription on Callen's lap and he deftly snatched the prescription and got out of the car, taking care to close the car door quietly. He then made his way into the pharmacy to get the prescription filled.

It was a good half hour before Sam returned to the car and he was more than a little surprised to find Callen still asleep. "You're wiped out, aren't you buddy," he said softly as he once again wondered what exactly had befallen his partner that afternoon. He really hoped he would open up about it. He knew it would be simple enough to get Eric or Nell to find out, but after Callen's obvious unhappiness about privacy invasion, he would be extremely hesitant to do so. He put on his seatbelt and started up the car once again. Within five minutes, he was pulling in to Kensi and Deeks' driveway.

"G?" Sam gently patted Callen's arm. "Hey, G…you're home."

Callen slowly opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times before seemingly figuring out where he was. "Hey Sam…Uh…" He looked down at the gauze on his lap. "I need to go to the pharmacy." He thought he had mentioned it, but maybe he hadn't.

"Already went there." Sam passed Callen the bag containing the cream.

"Oh." Callen was surprised that had transpired without his knowledge. "Thank you," he said as he took the bag from his partner. "What do I owe you?"

Sam shook his head. "They had all your insurance information on file, G. It's all set."

"Thanks, Sam," Callen said. He knew he owed some kind of co-pay, but they could hash that out later.

"You're welcome. Come on, let's get you inside."

The two men got out of the car and the front door was opened by Deeks before they were halfway there. "Hi guys," Deeks said, his eyes immediately drawn to Callen's cut pants leg and the bandage on his leg, underneath his knee. "You need any help?"

"I'm good," Callen said as he made his way past Deeks and entered the house.

"What happened to him?" Deeks whispered to Sam after Callen had gone inside.

Sam shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. He's not talking."

"Great," Deeks said as he and Sam followed Callen into the living room. "You want to stay for dinner, Sam? I don't think you've ever tried my famous fried chicken. Colonel Sanders himself wanted my recipe, but I refused."

Sam nodded. "Thanks Deeks. Dinner sounds good. I'll just text Michelle and let her know."

"Deeks also made homemade au gratin potatoes and a vegetable medley," Kensi said. Her eyes were on Callen who had sat down in the chair across from where she was on the sofa. "Callen? Are you okay?"

"I'm good," he said, watching as Deeks took a seat next to Kensi and Sam made himself comfortable on the other chair. They were all watching him out of the corners of their eyes as they tried to seem like they weren't. He smirked. "Okay fine, I'll tell you, but I don't want any big discussion about it afterwards okay?"

Sam's expression lit up as Deeks and Kensi nodded.

"I was on my way back here from my appointment with Dr. Bryant and…"

"How did that go?" Sam interrupted.

"It actually went well," Callen replied. "He cleared me for running and shooting practice."

"That's great," Sam said with a smile, glad that Callen was one step closer to returning to duty and to their partnership.

"So, anyhow," Callen went back to his story. "I had just turned on to Maple Drive and I noticed smoke coming from a house. I stopped in front just as a woman came running out with a baby and a little boy. She was crying that her little girl was still inside. So, I went in and got her out."

"Why do you downplay everything so much, G?" Sam asked. "You saved that little girl's life."

"Any of you would have done the same thing," Callen stated matter-of-factly.

"But even so…" Deeks began.

"I really don't want to talk about it," Callen said, cutting Deeks off. "Can we just talk about something else?"

"She's okay, isn't she?" Sam asked softly, watching his partner's expression closely. "The little girl?"

Callen nodded, a hint of a smile on his lips. "Yeah, she's fine."

"And you?" Kensi asked.

"I'm fine too, Kens," Callen said, his smile widening. "You don't have to worry about me."

"Dinner should be about ready, guys." Deeks got up from the sofa and started towards the kitchen with the other three team members following along behind him.

"I don't care what you say, G," Sam said quietly as he and Callen took a seat at the table. "What you did today was brave, really brave."

Callen rolled his eyes. "Sam please?"

"Okay, fine," Sam said. "I won't talk about it anymore."

"Thank you," Callen said, with a relieved look. Today had been a challenge, but inwardly he was proud of the way he'd handled it. He knew the story was going to get back to Hetty and likely Granger at some point the following day. He hoped that perhaps some good could come out of it and that maybe they would begin to see that he was doing much better. He knew he still had things to work through, but he didn't think it would affect his ability to do his job. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too long until he would be back in his regular, full time position, as leader of the team.


	83. Chapter 83

_As always, thanks so much to those who continue to read and review. Wishing you all a happy and healthy new year :)_

xxxxx

At 1:30 a.m., the pain from Callen's burn awoke him. For a few minutes he tried to just fall back asleep, but found it to be impossible. Instead, he sat up in bed and decided to take a look at his wound. He needed to put the antibiotic cream on it anyway so basically he had no choice. He carefully removed the gauze and made a face as he looked at the burn. He could see why Sam had thought it looked nasty. He then applied the cream and lay back down to try to sleep, but the pain kept him tossing and turning. Finally, he got out of bed and quietly went downstairs. He got a bottle of water from the refrigerator, took some ibuprofen and then settled down in front of the television, hoping that it would lull him to sleep.

xxxxx

At a little after 3, Deeks suddenly woke up, unsure of what had awoken him. Since he was awake anyway, he decided to go get a drink. As he walked downstairs, he realized the living room light was on. "Hey Callen…are you okay?" he asked as he entered the living room.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to wake you," Callen said, turning down the volume on the television even lower.

"You didn't wake me," Deeks said, taking a seat beside the other man. He couldn't help but notice that Callen was looking a bit pale and unhappy. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Callen said, not particularly convincingly.

"So, why are you up?" Deeks asked.

Callen shrugged. "I just couldn't sleep."

"Is your leg hurting?"

"It's all right."

Deeks gave Callen a skeptical look. "You don't need to play tough guy for me, Callen. There's nothing wrong with admitting you're in pain."

"I'm not," Callen said stubbornly.

"So, what are you watching?" Deeks asked, realizing that Callen wasn't going to admit to anything that he perceived as a weakness.

"I've just been flicking through the channels," Callen said wearily.

"You should go up to bed," Deeks said. "You're going to be tired in the morning. You want to start shooting tomorrow, don't you? You don't want to be tired for that."

Callen sighed, realizing the truth in what Deeks was saying. By now, the ibuprofen had taken the edge off the pain so maybe he would be able to sleep. "Okay, I'll go back to bed." He aimed the remote control at the television and turned it off. "Nothing good on anyway." He placed the remote control on the coffee table and slowly headed for the stairs. "Good night, Deeks," he said softly.

"Good night, Callen." Deeks waited until he heard Callen's bedroom door close, then he headed back up to bed himself.

xxxxx

Callen took off his ear protectors and brought the target in for inspection. His shooting hadn't been as top notch as he was capable of but it wasn't bad either. He definitely wouldn't have any trouble requalifying when he was deemed ready to return to field work.

"Good morning, Mr. Callen. You couldn't even wait until I got here to come to the range?"

"Good morning. Dr. Bryant said it was okay, Hetty," Callen said, turning towards the diminutive woman. "I left the paperwork on your desk."

Hetty nodded. "Yes, I saw the paperwork, but unless I'm mistaken that was before your little mishap yesterday afternoon."

"None of that affected anything. The ER doctor didn't give me any restrictions," Callen defended himself.

"Perhaps you should let me be the judge of that."

"Come on, Hetty," Callen said, rolling his eyes. "I'm fine."

"I'd just like to have a look at this wound of yours to be sure."

"I don't think people in other jobs have to be subjected to this kind of thing," Callen grumbled as they left the shooting range. "Whatever happened to medical privacy? Don't I have any rights at all?"

Hetty looked at Callen in surprise, not having anticipated his strong reaction to her wanting to take a look at him. "Of course you have rights, Mr. Callen. If you really feel so strongly, I'll let this go for now. Just please make sure you treat your wound properly. I don't want you to have any kind of a relapse when you're doing so well," she relented.

"I know how to take care of myself," Callen said, still a little bit irked. "I'm not a child. Trust me, I don't want a relapse either."

"I know you don't," Hetty said. "And I'm sorry if you think I'm being a bit overprotective. Sometimes it's still hard for me to remember you're not that 15-year-old boy I took in so many years ago."

"Do I look like that 15-year-old boy, Hetty?" Callen asked, but his tone had softened and he had a half smile on his lips.

"To me, Mr. Callen, there's still a lot of that 15-year-old boy in you," Hetty said, smiling back at him. "However, I will leave you alone for now. Perhaps you'd better get some work done. I know you've been cleared to shoot, but target practice isn't meant to take up your whole day."

"Right, Hetty," Callen said, now with a full-fledged smile. "I'll get back to work."

xxxxx

"So Callen," Kensi said, deciding to take a break from her work. "Deeks and I are going to go and pick out a tree tonight and then decorate it."

"Oh okay," Callen said. "Don't worry, I'll make myself scarce. Maybe Sam and I could get some dinner?" He looked across at Sam's desk, a questioning look in his eyes. Sam just smiled to himself and shook his head. Sometimes his partner was definitely clueless.

"Come on, man…we're not trying to get rid of you," Deeks said. "We want you to help us."

"Oh…well, I didn't know," Callen said with a shrug. "I thought maybe it was a couple thing you'd like to do together, just the two of you."

"Definitely not," Kensi said with a shake of her head. "We'd like you to help, unless there's some reason you don't want to?"

"No, I want to," Callen said. "Thanks."

"It's me who should be thanking you," Deeks said. "Kens has a lot of ornaments. This is going to take some time."

"I don't mind," Callen said, smiling.

xxxxx

"How about this one?" Deeks pointed out a very large tree which Kensi quickly shook her head at.

"That one is too big, Deeks," Kensi said. "It will take up half our living room."

"Okay," Deeks said with a shrug. "So, can you believe Callen thinking we wanted to get rid of him to decorate the tree?"

"It's not his fault, Deeks. I imagine not many, if any, of the foster families he was in allowed him to."

Deeks shook his head. "What a bunch of jerks. If people don't like kids, they shouldn't be allowed to take them into foster care."

"I know," Kensi said agreeably, "But unfortunately, that's just the way it is. A lot of people do it for the money."

"Surely Hetty let him help decorate the tree though," Deeks said.

Kensi nodded. "I'm sure she did, but they were family."

"I really thought he understood that we're family too though," Deeks said, looking sad. He knew what it was like to have a rough childhood, but he still had his mom and he had Kensi who meant the world to him. After what they had all gone through together, he really thought Callen understood how connected they all were.

"I think he does," Kensi said softly. "I just think sometimes he forgets. How about this one?" Kensi stopped at a particularly well-shaped tree which didn't look like it would take over their living room.

Deeks nodded his approval. "This one looks good," he said. "Let's get it."

xxxxx

Callen helped Deeks get the tree into the house and then Kensi directed the two men about where to put it. Finally, she was satisfied. "You're sure now?" Deeks asked with a grin.

"Yes, I'm sure. It has to be in just the right place, and I think that's perfect."

"Okay, I'm going to go and get the ornaments," Deeks said. "Are all the boxes properly marked?"

"You'll be able to find them," Kensi said, smiling, but not directly answering his question.

"That means the boxes aren't marked," Deeks said to Callen. "You want to give me a hand?" Callen nodded and the two men headed up to the attic.

"That looks like Christmas stuff over there," Callen said, pointing to a corner where some lights were hanging out of one of the boxes. He and Deeks went over and picked up some boxes then carried them back downstairs.

"Do you think this is it, Kens?" Deeks asked her after they had put the boxes on the living room floor.

"I'm not sure," Kensi said. "There's probably more, but this is definitely enough to start with. I hope the lights work. If not, we're going to have to go and get some."

"If not, we can wait until tomorrow to do that," Deeks corrected her. "In any case, before we get any further into this, I think dinner is on the agenda."

"Oh, I already ordered some pizza," Kensi said. "It should be here in a half hour or so. You can get right to work on the lights until it arrives."

"Great," Deeks said. He started to diligently work on untangling the lights, and it didn't take him long to get them all sorted out.

"Impressive," Callen said, watching as Deeks began to arrange the lights on the tree.

"Yeah, well I've had a lot of years of practice," Deeks said. "I used to do the lights for my mom and every year they started out as a tangled up mess."

"They look very nice, honey," Kensi said, smiling when the tree lights were in place and Deeks plugged them in.

"Yeah, they do look pretty good, don't they," Deeks said, pleased with the way the lights looked on the tree. He then dug into one of the boxes and pulled out some garland. He looked over at Callen and handed him the garland. "Would you like to do it?"

Callen hesitated briefly before nodding and he began to wind the strings of glimmering silver foil around the tree.

"So, you never told us, how did the shooting go today?" Deeks asked as he settled down on the sofa next to Kensi while Callen did the garland.

"It went pretty well," Callen said, smiling. "I mean, I'm not up to my usual standards for sure, but, I wasn't as rusty as I thought I might be."

"That's good, Callen," Kensi said. She looked down at the cast with a sigh. "I'll be glad when I can start doing that again."

"It won't be that much longer, Kens," Deeks said, putting his arm around her and giving her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "Next week is your appointment with the orthopedist and hopefully you'll be out that cast for good."

"Even so, I'm pretty sure I'm going to need physical therapy," Kensi said, still looking discouraged. "It will still be a while before I'm cleared for full duty."

"Come on baby," Deeks said. "I'm sure once you lose the cast, you'll move along quickly." He knew Kensi would push herself hard and would likely come through PT faster than expected.

"How's that?" Callen interrupted, having finished putting on the garland.

"That looks good, man. Really good," Deeks said, actually a little bit surprised at how nice a job Callen had done with it. "I'm guessing this isn't the first time you've done this?"

"No," Callen said, shaking his head. "I used to decorate the tree with Hetty and Duke…" His eyes took on a hint of sadness as he thought about Duke's tragic fate. "She used to give me nice Christmases. I think…I think she was somehow trying to make up for the others although she never really said anything." Thinking about it, he realized he had never really expressed his appreciation to her for that. Those Christmases had really been the first **_real_** Christmases he had ever had.

"She loves you, Callen," Kensi said softly, her eyes suddenly welling with tears although she really wasn't sure why. Maybe it was just the time of year. Christmas could be a very emotional time and sometimes, when she thought of what Callen and Deeks had gone through as children, it was almost too much for her to bear.

"I know," Callen said, staring down at the floor, overcome with emotion himself. "I know she does." Even when she annoyed the heck out of him sometimes, or gave a whole new definition to the word overprotective, he knew how much she cared about him.

At that moment, the doorbell rang. "Pizza," Deeks said, springing to his feet to go answer the door. Kensi and Callen smiled at each other, both taking a few moments to get their emotions back under control.

xxxxx

After the pizza was eaten and the tree was decorated, Deeks turned out the lights and the three sat down to admire their handiwork. "It's perfect," Kensi said, her eyes shining as she gazed at the tree.

"You're perfect," Deeks whispered as he leaned in to gently kiss her lips.

At that point, Callen decided going up to his room to read or something would be a very good idea. "Uh…I'm going to turn in early," he said as he got up from his chair. "I didn't sleep well last night and I'm kind of tired."

"No wait," Kensi said, stopping him. She then turned to Deeks. "There's one more box I'd like you to get please?" she asked him with a pleading look in her eyes.

Deeks sighed. He was so cozy and comfortable, but when she looked at him like that, he could never refuse her anything. "Which box?" he asked.

"I can go," Callen said.

Kensi shook her head at Callen. "No, you stay here. Deeks can do it. It's a ceramic tree," she said, turning her gaze towards Deeks. "I'm pretty sure that box is marked."

"Okay," Deeks said. "No problem."

Kensi and Callen waited in silence and Deeks returned just a few minutes later. "Where do you want it?" he asked.

"Give it to Callen," Kensi said, looking at the team leader. "It's for your room."

"But…why?" Callen asked, looking a little bit surprised. One look in Deeks' direction showed that the other man had no idea either. "Why don't you keep it down here?"

"Because I want you to have it," Kensi said, smiling at him. "I want you to have a little bit of Christmas all your own. Please take it, Callen."

"Okay…" Callen said, as Deeks handed him the box. "Uh, thanks. I guess I'll head up now. Goodnight guys."

"Goodnight Callen," Kensi said, still smiling and Deeks echoed her.

"So, what was that all about?" Deeks asked as he settled back down on the sofa next to Kensi.

"Nothing. It's what I said, Deeks, I think it's nice for Callen to have a little tree all his own, don't you?"

"Yeah, sure," Deeks said with a shrug. "I'm just not sure how into it the guy really is."

"I think you may be surprised, Deeks," Kensi said, cuddling against him as he put his arm around her. "Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of Christmas magic to make things better."

xxxxx

Callen brought the box up into his room and put it on his bed, then changed the dressing on his leg and applied the ointment. After that, he changed into sweats and a t-shirt for bed. Although being tired had proved a convenient excuse to give Kensi and Deeks some time to themselves, he also found it to be true. Covering his mouth as he yawned, he thought about setting up the tree the next day, but he had to admit he was curious so he opened up the box. It wasn't too big so he took it out and put it on the nightstand. He then began to place the little multicolored lights into each of the holes on the tree. Finally, when it was done, he plugged it into the wall socket and had to admit it was really pretty when it was all lit up. Not getting the full effect of the tree with the lamp on though, he turned off the lamp and found the tree to have almost a soothing aura about it. He climbed under the covers and continued to gaze at the tree until he fell asleep without any anxiety at all.


	84. Chapter 84

_Super long chapter here full of sappy things and lots of character interactions. Probably not everyone's cup of tea, but things are winding down. Pretty sure the next chapter will be the final one for this story. Thanks so much for those of you who are still loyally reading. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it :)_

xxxxx

"Deeks, look," Kensi said softly as she paused outside the door to Callen's room.

"Um…what are we looking at?" Deeks asked, staring at the closed door in confusion. "Did Callen hang up some invisible artwork on his door?"

"No... Look at the bottom of the door. He doesn't have the light on…" Deeks did as Kensi requested and saw that she was right. The space between the bottom of the door and the carpeting, which usually showed light emanating from inside the room, was dark.

"Huh…" Deeks said, looking worried. "Do you think he's okay?"

Kensi nodded, a faint smile on her lips. "I do think so…It's the tree. He must have it on."

"Should I open the door?" Deeks asked.

"We don't want to wake him if he's sleeping."

"I just want to make sure he's okay." Deeks put his hand on the doorknob and very carefully managed to open the door, just enough for them to peek inside, without making a sound. They saw Callen curled up under the blankets with the bright lights of the ceramic tree casting a dim glow inside the room. Once he saw that Callen was fine, he quietly closed the door again.

"Oh Deeks, he's doing so well," Kensi said, looking at him happily, her eyes brimming with emotion.

"Yeah, I think Junior may have turned a corner. He'll be getting ready to spread his wings and fly soon," Deeks said with a smile as he blinked his own eyes against the moisture he could feel beginning to form. "Come on…let's get to bed."

xxxxx

"So, how are things going for you?" Rachel asked. They were meeting at Kensi and Deeks' place that afternoon as the weather was unseasonably cold and rainy.

"I really can't complain," Callen said, answering Rachel's question honestly. "Things are going along more smoothly. I haven't had a nightmare in almost a week."

"Really? That's wonderful, Callen," Rachel said.

"I think so," he replied with a proud smile. "My shooting is improving every day as well." Just being able to go to the range to practice as well as work out in the gym each day, was working wonders on Callen's state of mind. He was also making a concerted effort to do what was expected of him, performing the most tedious duties diligently and without complaint. He realized that was the best way for him to prove that he was ready to go back to work full-time, and more importantly, regain his status as team leader.

"And work is going well?" Rachel asked.

"It is," he said with a nod. "I'm not going to lie, I'll be really happy when I'm able to go back to full duty work, but this is good for now."

"Well, I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised with how well you're handling everything," Rachel said to him. He was very obviously doing better and she was very happy to see it. It was definitely giving her food for thought.

xxxxx

"Okay now, take a step and see how it feels," Dr. Fletcher said, giving Kensi an encouraging smile. Kensi carefully put her weight on her foot and took a cautious step. It felt stiff and slightly sore, but not really bad at all.

"It feels pretty good," she said with a smile. "It's stiff, but it actually feels better than I thought it would."

"I'm going to have you keep the crutches, just in case you feel like you need them. You can also take it down to one if you'd like, just to have the support. Unless you'd rather have a cane?"

Kensi quickly shook her head. She definitely didn't want a cane. "No. I think I'm good."

"Okay then. I'll set you up to see a physical therapist. I don't think you'll need too many visits. Some whirlpool treatments and exercises to extend the range of motion, strengthen and reduce the stiffness of your ankle will be helpful. After you learn them, you can just do them at home on your own."

Kensi nodded. "When do you want to see me again?" She knew she wasn't yet ready to start trying to get back to field work, but she did hope it would be soon.

"I'll see you again in three weeks."

"Three weeks?" Kensi asked, the disappointment obvious on her face.

"Is that too soon?" Dr. Fletcher asked, looking at her in surprise.

"No," Kensi said. "I thought maybe sooner?"

"With the upcoming holidays and everything, I think three weeks makes sense," Dr. Fletcher said patiently. "I know you want to get back to full duty, but trust me, you're not going to be ready for that in two weeks. If you try to rush it, you're going to experience a setback."

"Okay, three weeks is fine," Kensi said with a sigh.

"Trust me, with all the end of the year festivities, the time will go by in a flash." Dr. Fletcher said with a smile.

Kensi thanked the doctor and went out into the waiting room. She walked slowly, but relatively smoothly, carrying the crutches.

Deeks got up from his chair, with a big grin on his face. "You're walking great, baby. I bet your foot feels a heck of a lot lighter than it did."

"It does feel lighter," Kensi said. Deeks' smile and enthusiasm was contagious and immediately made her feel more positive. The doctor was right. The three weeks would go by quickly. "And it's great to finally be rid of that cast."

"Why don't we go out to celebrate," Deeks suggested. "We'll go grab Callen and go out to a nice dinner somewhere."

"Alright," Kensi said, smiling back at him. "That sounds really good."

xxxxx

"Sam's here," Deeks said as he pulled into the driveway and spotted their teammate's Challenger parked in front.

"Oh, I hope nothing's wrong," Kensi said as the two got out of their vehicle and headed to the front door.

"I doubt it. Callen's sessions have been going really well," Deeks said, but he still felt a little bit apprehensive as he opened the front door. He didn't need to though as he heard the sound of laughter the moment the door opened.

"Hey Deeks," Sam greeted him as he stepped into the house first, allowing Kensi to make her grand entrance. She had deliberately left her crutches in the car. Deeks was pretty sure she wasn't going to be using those anymore unless she really had a hard time.

"Wow, look at you," Callen said, noticing her first. "Congratulations, Kens."

"Congrats," Sam said. "It's good to see you crutch free. Must feel pretty good too, I'd imagine."

"Thanks, guys. It feels really good," Kensi said as she took a seat on the sofa, not wanting to overdo it too much.

"We're going out to celebrate," Deeks said. "You guys want to come with us?"

"Are you sure this isn't a celebration for two?" Sam asked, grinning at the young couple.

Kensi shook her head. "No, we want you to come," she assured him. "Come on. It'll be fun."

"G?" Sam asked, looking at his partner.

"Sure. I think Kensi deserves to have a celebration," Callen said, smiling. "Let's do it."

"Where do you guys feel like going?" Kensi asked.

"Your celebration so you should pick," Callen replied.

"Okay, let's go to Walt's Tavern. That should be fun."

"Let me just call Michelle to let her know I won't be home until later," Sam said.

"She's welcome to come along," Kensi said.

"Okay, I'll let her know."

Michelle bowed out, as she was helping Kam study for a big test the following day and the team headed out to Walt's. They managed to find a table and ordered drinks then began to study the menu.

"I think I'm going to get a cheeseburger." Callen closed his menu decisively after only about a minute.

"I'm going to get a chicken sandwich," Kensi stated.

Deeks decided on fish tacos and Sam chose a chicken wrap.

"You folks here for Christmas karaoke?" the waitress asked when she brought the food to their table, a short time after they placed their order.

"Oh we didn't know about that, but it sounds fun doesn't it, guys?" Kensi asked.

"Whatever you want," Deeks said, smiling.

"I'd be into that," Sam said with a grin.

"Sure, whatever you want," Callen said with a shrug.

It turned out to be a fun and festive evening. There were a lot of talented performers in the room who put on quite a show. Kensi and Deeks sang "Baby It's Cold Outside" and earned themselves a big round of applause and Sam brought the house down with his version of "Jingle Bell Rock." Despite urging from his teammates, Callen steadfastly refused to perform.

"That was really a good time," Kensi said, when the evening had concluded and they were on their way home.

"It was. We need to do that more often," Deeks said. He glanced at Callen through the rear-view mirror. Their team leader had appeared to have a good time, but was now quiet as he gazed out the passenger window. Sam had brought his own car and was on his way home. "You okay, Callen?"

"Huh?" Callen turned his attention away from the window to Deeks. "Yeah, I'm good. Just kind of tired."

"Me too," Kensi said. "It was a long day, but a good one." Her ankle was sore, but in a different way from the pain she had been experiencing ever since the plane crash, so she really didn't mind.

"Well, I'll have you two home quick as a flash and you can get some sleep," Deeks said, smiling.

"Thanks, Deeks. That sounds good," Callen replied through a yawn. He really was pretty tired all of a sudden, but he had to agree with Kensi that it had been a good day.

xxxxx

On the Friday before Christmas, Callen and Sam were alone in the bullpen as Kensi and Deeks were working out in the gym. Callen was flipping through a stack of papers when his cell phone buzzed. He glanced at the caller ID screen and pressed the answer button. "Hey Kam," he said. "Is everything okay?" From across the bullpen, Sam gave Callen an inquiring look and Callen gave him a thumbs up sign so he knew everything was fine.

"Yes, I'm all set for Christmas. It should be a fun time."

"Uh…I don't know." Callen said after a few moments and he then gave his partner an unsure look. "Did you ask your parents?"

He listened some more and once again glanced over at Sam. "What about your dad?"

"G? What is she saying?" Sam whispered.

Callen ignored his partner and focused his attention on whatever Kamran was saying to him. "Okay, honey. You have a fun day with your mom. Yes, love you too."

"So, what was that all about?" Sam asked after Callen had put his phone down on his desk.

"Kam wants me to go to your house for Christmas Eve, stay overnight and spend Christmas morning with your family. Then, we'll head over to Kensi and Deeks' place for dinner." The couple was hosting Christmas dinner for Hetty and the Hanna family.

"Well that sounds like a good idea," Sam said. "So, you're coming, right?"

Callen picked up a stray paperclip on his desk and started unbending it. "I don't know…do you want me to come?" He looked at his partner and Sam could see the uncertainty that still cropped up in Callen's eyes every so often, showing him that even after all these years, Callen was still unsure about being a part of Sam's family. No matter how much Sam tried to convince him, it was still there. It made Sam realize that the after effects of Callen being in the foster care system, after being abandoned by his father, would never be totally erased.

"Of course I want you to come," Sam said gently, realizing what a sensitive subject this was. "I'm sorry I didn't think of it myself. I guess it just didn't occur to me since we'll be together on Christmas day, but I should have. It obviously means a lot to Kam for her to have called you on her own and it would mean a lot to me too."

Callen nodded, seemingly deep in thought, his attention once more on the paperclip as he worked on straightening it out.

"So, you'll come, G, won't you?" Sam asked.

Callen looked over at his partner and smiled. "Yes, Sam. Of course I'll come. Thank you."

xxxxx

"It seems kind of weird not having Callen here," Kensi said. It was Christmas Eve and she was cuddled on the sofa next to Deeks. The lights were off except for the sparkling lights of the Christmas tree and the candles in the windows.

"Empty nest syndrome?" Deeks joked light-heartedly, although truthfully he felt it too, but he felt weird talking about it. "In any case, Fern, he'll be back here tomorrow."

Kensi nodded thoughtfully. "I know, but I think it's getting closer to the time when he'll be moving back home."

"You'll still have me and Monty though," Deeks said, smiling. Upon hearing the mention of his name, Monty got up from where he was lying close to the Christmas tree and came over to Deeks, wagging his tail. "That's a good boy." Deeks fondly patted the dog's head.

"I know," Kensi said resting her head on Deeks' shoulder. "And right now, this is perfect." She felt a total sense of contentment and pure happiness being there with the man she loved. She really couldn't wish for anything else except for hopefully cementing their union legally someday and ultimately having children with him.

"So, I have a gift I'd like to give you tonight, unless you'd really rather wait until tomorrow," Deeks said. He was eager to give it to her and knew the next morning was going to be hectic with cooking and getting the house ready for their guests. This just seemed like the perfect moment to give it to her.

"But I haven't finished wrapping your things yet." Kensi raised her head off Deeks' shoulder and looked at him anxiously.

"That's okay. This is just one gift. We'll do the rest in the morning."

"Okay. I'm not one to turn down a gift," Kensi said, her eyes sparkling.

"I'll be right back." Deeks got up from the sofa and trotted upstairs, returning with a small package a couple of minutes later. "Here you go," he said, handing it to her as he settled himself back down beside her once again.

"It's really pretty." Kensi admired the box wrapped in shimmering silver paper with a fancy white ribbon and bow adorning it.

"I wish I could take credit," Deeks said with a chuckle. "But I'm sure you can tell that the store wrapped it for me."

"It's still very nice. I almost hate to open it," she teased.

"You can just leave the box out on display if you'd rather."

Kensi smiled at him and then began to open the package. Her eyes widened in delight when she saw the sterling silver oval linked bracelet with perfect blue topaz stones nestled on the cotton in the box. "Oh Deeks…It's beautiful," she said as she picked it up and looked at it admiringly. She then looked at him questioningly. "But…we don't really do gifts like this..." She could tell it was expensive, definitely a great deal more than they had ever spent on each other.

"I have a little rainy day fund," he said, beyond happy at the look in her eyes and knowing she liked it as much as he had hoped she would. "I wanted to do something special for you, with all you've gone through."

"But it wasn't just me who went through it though," Kensi said. "We all did, but mostly Callen…"

"Are you saying I should have given this to Callen?" Deeks asked, smirking. "Seriously though, I didn't have a broken ankle. The man in the store said it was designed to remind us of ocean waves lapping at the seashore and when I really looked at it, I saw that he was right. It made me think of us spending a day on the beach with the sun and the surf and I just really wanted you to have it."

"Well, I love it." She kissed him gently and then held the bracelet out to him. "Can you put it on me?"

"With pleasure." Deeks fastened the bracelet around her delicate wrist and looked at it in satisfaction. "Perfect."

"It is perfect," Kensi said as she admired the bracelet as she turned her wrist, inspecting it from all angles.

"I was talking about your wrist, but the bracelet is pretty nice too," he said, smiling at her.

"Thank you so much, Deeks," Kensi said as he leaned his head down towards her and they kissed once more. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, baby. I love you, so much."

"I love you too," she whispered.

xxxxx

A knock sounding on the door drew Callen partway out of his sleep. "Come in," he called out drowsily as he managed to get his eyes halfway open. "MERRY CHRISTMAS UNCLE CALLEN!" Kamran came bolting into the room and jumped on his bed before giving him a hug. "It's time to get up. Mom is cooking breakfast already!"

"What time is it?" he asked, unsure of just how late he had managed to sleep.

"7:15."

"7:15? Really?" He was tempted to close his eyes and go back to sleep, at least for another 45 minutes or so, but was pretty sure the ball of energy currently perched on his bed wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"Yes, really. Christmas is here, Uncle Callen. Come on! Mom wants us to eat before we do presents because we'll be having a big dinner later and if we eat too late we won't be hungry!"

"Uh, okay. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Okay, but you have to get up. Daddy said not to let you go back to sleep, to make sure you were awake before I left."

"Oh, that's what daddy said, did he?"

"Yes." Kamran nodded her head emphatically.

Callen managed to sit up in bed and struggled to make himself appear awake. "Okay. I'm up."

"No going back to sleep."

Callen shook his head. "No. I won't go back to sleep." He watched as Kamran left the room, closing the door behind her, and with one last longing look at his pillow, he got up out of bed with a sigh and headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower and hopefully wake himself up.

xxxxx

"This breakfast is great, Michelle," Callen said as he took another couple of pancakes from the pile on the plate in the middle of the table.

Sam raised an eyebrow, a trace of a smile on his lips as he watched his partner basically attack the food on his plate. He wanted to tease him about his appetite, but decided not to, glad to see him eating and not wanting to make him uncomfortable, especially on Christmas.

"I'm glad you like it Callen," Michelle said, happy to see him doing so well. He looked like he had been putting some of the weight he had lost back on which was nice to see.

"I've missed your cooking, mom," Aiden said as he scooped a large helping of scrambled eggs onto his plate. "The food at school isn't bad, but it's definitely not the same as this."

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it," Michelle said, smiling. She had missed her son while he was away at school and was going to make the most of having him home for vacation.

Kam sighed loudly as she waited for everyone to be finished eating. Her own plate was empty. She hadn't eaten much as she was too excited to eat. Her eyes widened when Aiden put another pancake on his plate. "Aren't you done yet, Aiden?" she asked. "You're not going to want to eat dinner later."

"Kam, let your brother eat," Michelle said. "You really need to learn to be a little bit more patient."

"Besides, don't you want to make the fun last?" Aiden asked, grinning at his sister. "If you open everything too quickly, it will just be over with."

"You're just being mean on purpose," Kamran said with a slight pout.

"Come on kids, it's Christmas," Sam said.

Finally, Aiden took pity on his sister. "Alright, I'm done," he said with a grin. Kamran squealed and jumped up from her seat at the table then headed out into the living room, followed by the others. Then the next half hour was spent opening gifts and oohing and ahing over them. It wasn't too long before everything was opened and the room was filled with remnants of crumpled wrapping paper with bright bows and ribbon scattered about.

"So much preparation and then it's over, just like that," Michelle commented to Sam.

"It's always that way," Sam said, smiling at his wife. "At least it lasts a little bit longer now. When the kids were small, we never could have held them off until after breakfast."

"That's true," Michelle said laughing.

She looked at her daughter who had momentarily left the room and now was back with a wrapped gift.

"Uncle Callen?" Kamran said, handing it to him. "This is for you, from me."

"But, you already gave me a gift, Kam," Callen said. He had received a very nice hand carved chess set from Kamran and Aiden.

"But this one is special. It's just from me," Kamran explained. "Open it."

"Okay." Callen carefully removed the wrapping paper from the gift and looked very touched when he saw what it was. "This…this is beautiful, Kamran," he said with a slight hitch in his voice. "Thank you very much." Inside a large frame was a heart shaped collection of pictures of Kamran, starting from when she was a baby to present day. Some were with her family or by herself, but there were a lot of them of just her and Callen.

"I made it for you myself…with my computer. Do you like it?" she asked anxiously.

"I love it. It's one of the nicest gifts anyone has ever given me," he said truthfully.

"I'm glad…I…I wanted you to know how much you mean to me because…I still feel bad about how I acted when you accidentally hit me. I know it wasn't your fault…I knew it then too, but I was just being mean and I'm so sorry that I did that to you." There were tears streaming down her face as she went to Callen and threw herself into his arms.

"Kam…sweetheart…you don't have anything to be sorry about," he said, trying to reassure her. "If anyone is sorry, it's me, not you. You didn't do anything wrong." It was still something he didn't like to think about and knew he never would.

"But I did do something wrong," she said pulling back and looking up at him sadly. "And I just want you to know that I really feel bad about it. I would never ever do that kind of thing to you again."

"Please don't worry about it, Kam, okay?" Callen felt bad that it still bothered her. He hadn't had any idea that she was experiencing guilt over what had happened. "In any case, I love your present. I'm going to find a very special place to hang it up when I go home so that I can look at it and know what a caring and loving niece I have."

"Thank you, Uncle Callen," she said, hugging him tightly once again. "I love you so much."

"No, thank you, Kam," Callen said as he returned her embrace and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you too."

xxxxx

Callen quickly got to his feet when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." He went to the door and opened it then stood aside so that Hetty could enter the house. "Merry Christmas, Hetty," he said, taking the large shopping bag she was carrying.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Callen." Hetty smiled up at him and then she hugged him. "I hope you've been having a pleasant day so far."

"I have…It's been really nice," he said to her. He then led her into the living room where Sam's family and Kensi all greeted her. Deeks was in the kitchen working hard. He had refused all offers of help, insisting on preparing the meal himself. Michelle had brought some desserts and Callen had bought some wine for the meal, but that was as much help as Deeks had allowed except for whatever Hetty had brought, because he wouldn't have dared to say no to Hetty.

Hetty, who never missed a thing, almost immediately spied the new jewelry that Kensi was wearing on her wrist. "That's a lovely bracelet, Ms. Blye," she said.

Kensi smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, Hetty. Deeks gave it to me last night."

"Well, he has very good taste," Hetty said.

Michelle also admired the bracelet and then Kamran came over to see it as well.

"What's the big deal about a bracelet?" Aiden whispered to his father.

"Women like that kind of thing, son," Sam said, smiling. "The sooner you learn that lesson, the better off you'll be."

xxxxx

"Everything smells delicious," Kamran exclaimed exuberantly as she watched Deeks taking the stuffing out of the turkey. "I love stuffing. It's my favorite part of turkey."

"I don't think you're alone with that sentiment," Deeks said, grinning at Sam's daughter. "Lots of people are big fans of stuffing."

"My mom makes really good stuffing," Kamran whispered confidentially. "But I have a feeling yours will be good too."

"Well I hope you like it," Deeks whispered back to her. "Maybe you should try it and see if it meets your stuffing standards?"

Kamran nodded eagerly, her eyes lighting up. "I think that sounds like a really good idea, I mean, just in case, but I think it will be really good."

Deeks handed Kamran a spoon and watched as she took a heaping spoonful of the stuffing and nibbled at it. When she was finished, she looked at him with a big smile. "It's really good, as good as my mom's even."

"Well that's a relief," Deeks said.

"So, I saw the bracelet that you gave to Kensi," Kamran said, abruptly changing the subject. "It's very pretty. Hetty said you have good taste."

"Did she?" Deeks asked, inwardly pleased at Hetty's comment.

Kamran nodded. "She did. I think you must be a good boyfriend to have given that to her. You're cute and nice and you give good presents. You can even cook. Some boyfriends give ugly gifts or some give nothing at all!"

"Really?" Deeks commented, trying not to laugh. "Well, I do try not to give ugly gifts."

"I don't think you have to worry," Kamran said. "So when are you going to get married?"

"Uh…" Deeks found himself blushing at this unexpected line of questioning. "I'm not exactly sure yet."

Kamran nodded. "Some people like long engagements, but you haven't even given her a ring yet. You probably should get on that. You wouldn't want some other guy to ask her, would you?"

"Um…no, I wouldn't, uh…I'll definitely think about what you said, but for now, dinner is ready…"

"Oh good, I'll go tell everyone!" With that, Kamran headed off to the living room and Deeks shook his head with a smile still on his face. He imagined Sam's daughter was going to give some guy a real run for his money someday.

xxxxx

Deeks' meal was a huge success. Everyone complimented his cooking and the stuffing was an especially big hit. Afterwards, they decided to take a break before dessert to open gifts. After most of the things were opened, Callen handed an envelope to Kensi. "This is for you and Deeks," he said quietly.

"What is it?" Kensi asked.

"Well, you're supposed to open it to find out," Callen said with a smile. "Go ahead, Kens…it won't bite."

Kensi smiled and her eyes widened when she saw what was inside the envelope. Three nights stay at the Bayside Inn over the New Year's Eve weekend. "Callen," she said, shaking her head as she showed it to Deeks. "We can't accept this. It's too much."

"It's not too much," Callen said. "And you don't have to worry about me. I already asked Sam if I could stay with his family, so there won't be any problems."

"Kensi is right, Callen," Deeks said. "You shouldn't have done this…"

"I wanted to, I ruined the night the two of you spent there when you went to Malibu. Not to mention, it doesn't begin to repay you for what you've done for me."

"We didn't do it to be repaid," Deeks responded. "You're our friend. We just wanted to help you."

"You went to hell and back, Callen," Kensi said emotionally. "All we wanted was for you to get well and get your life back."

"I know that," Callen said, "but you've gone above and beyond with what you've done for me. I just want you to know that I appreciate it."

"We already know that," Deeks said solemnly.

"Please accept it," Callen said. "I really want to do this for you."

Deeks and Kensi shared a long look and finally she nodded.

"Okay, Callen…we'll accept this," Deeks said softly. "I still say you shouldn't have done it, but thank you."

"Thank you so much," Kensi said as she went over to Callen, then embraced him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"You're welcome, Kens… and trust me, this was nothing compared to what the two of you have done for me."

xxxxx

"That was a very nice thing you did for Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye." Hetty smiled fondly at Callen as he took a seat beside her on the sofa.

"It doesn't even compare to what they've done for me," Callen said. "They never once made me feel unwanted or like I didn't belong…no matter how much trouble I caused."

"They're your friends, Mr. Callen," Hetty said as she patted his hand. "I know you may not think so, but you're very deserving of good things happening for you."

"Thank you, Hetty," he said, giving her a small smile. "I appreciate that."

"And I have something else for you, which I think you may appreciate, as well," Hetty said, returning his smile.

"Not another gift," Callen said. "You've already given me too much." She had given him and his teammates gift cards to a very expensive restaurant which they planned to visit together sometime in the new year.

"This isn't a material gift," Hetty explained, "but I think it may mean even more to you."

Callen watched her and waited in silence, knowing she would tell him in her own time.

"I have spoken with Ms. Cranston at length over the past few days. She thinks you're doing very well and I'm inclined to agree with her."

"Really?" Callen asked, cautiously optimistic, but afraid to get his hopes up.

"Yes, really, Mr. Callen," Hetty said, nodding. You've done very well at work over the past couple of weeks. You've done everything I've asked of you without complaint and you've done a very good job. Ms. Cranston also had very good things to say about you."

"Thank you," Callen said, looking pleased by the praise.

"There's no need to thank me," Hetty said. "I'm only speaking the truth."

"I'm serious about getting my job back, Hetty," Callen said softly. "I really want that."

Hetty nodded. "I know you do and that's what I'm planning to give to you. During the Christmas break, I'd like you to go in and take your requalifying tests. Assuming you pass, which I'm quite sure will be the case, when you return to work after the break, you'll be resuming your full time position as team leader."

Callen smiled, his blue eyes shining at these unexpected words from Hetty. "Really?"

"Yes, really. And…"

"And?" Callen interrupted. "There's more?"

"And," Hetty repeated. "We also feel, if you're comfortable and it's what you wish, that you be allowed to return to your home."


	85. Chapter 85

_This chapter went on a little longer than I thought it would so I was wrong about it being the final chapter. It's really almost finished this time though. One more to go (I'm pretty sure). Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter and for continuing to read. I really do appreciate it :)_

xxxxx

"What's all this?" Callen asked as he eyed the veritable feast on Kensi and Deeks' table.

"It's breakfast," Kensi replied, looking at Callen with a hint of sadness in her eyes. She knew it was silly to be feeling this way. She and Deeks would be getting back their total freedom, which was not a bad thing, but she still couldn't help feeling a little sad that Callen was leaving. She really hoped that he was going to be okay. "Deeks wanted to make something special."

"Thanks, Deeks," Callen said as he eyed the food appreciatively. There were Belgian waffles, strawberries, sausage, and bacon. "You didn't have to do all this."

"I know that," Deeks said as he put a pitcher of fresh-squeezed orange juice on the table. "I wanted to. Sit down, man. Let's not let everything get cold."

Callen did as Deeks asked and the three friends began eating their breakfast. "This is delicious," Callen said. "Thanks a lot."

"No big deal," Deeks said as he gazed back at Callen. "So, you must be pretty excited about being able to go home."

Callen nodded, then drank a sip of juice and put it back down on the table. "I am." His eyes were serious as he looked at Deeks then Kensi. "I mean, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate what the two of you have done for me, but…it's time. I can't stay here forever. You guys deserve your privacy and I need to try to get my life back to normal."

"Well, just so you know, and I think you do, you're always welcome here, Callen," Deeks said.

Kensi quickly nodded in agreement. "Deeks is right. Any time at all, we'll be happy to have you."

"Thanks," Callen said softly. "That means more than I can say."

They finished eating their breakfast at a leisurely pace and then Deeks helped Callen bring his belongings out to his car. They had just about finished packing up the vehicle when Kensi came outside and handed a box to Callen. He started to open it, but she stopped him. "you don't need to open it. I just packed it so that it wouldn't break."

"Oh," Callen said, looking a little bit confused. "What is it?"

"It's the tree from your room," she answered. "I want you to have it."

"But…Christmas is over…" Callen said, shaking his head. "Plus, it's yours. I can't take it." He tried to hand it back to Kensi but she wouldn't take it from him.

"It's yours now, Callen. And besides, some people keep ceramic trees on display all year round. I think it would be a nice little touch for your home."

A look of silent understanding passed between the two of them and finally Callen nodded, a trace of a smile on his lips. "Okay, Kensi…I'll keep it. Thank you, but just so you know, I understand if you'd ever like to have it back."

"It's yours," Kensi reiterated. Callen's reluctance to accept even the smallest things really made her wonder about how few times he must have received gifts in his life, at least in his childhood.

"Okay, thanks." He put the tree box into the back seat with his other belongings and closed the door. He then turned to face his junior team members. "Well...I guess this is it." He couldn't help but see that Kensi and Deeks both looked a little bit dejected. "Come on guys," he said, forcing a smile. "We're still going to see each other all the time. You're going to get your place back to yourselves. That's a good thing."

"We never minded having you here, Callen." Deeks' blue eyes were troubled as he was inwardly alarmed at the possibility that Callen thought they had. "Honestly, we didn't."

"I know that, Deeks," Callen assured him, "but there's always added stress with a house guest. It's just the nature of the beast. Anyhow…I'd better get going."

Kensi came to him then and hugged him tightly. "Good luck, Callen. Call us if you need anything, okay? Or even if you just want to talk."

"I'll be okay."

After Callen released Kensi, Deeks approached him and the two men shared a hug, albeit a bit more awkward than Callen's and Kensi's hug had been. "Take care of yourself, man." Deeks said. "We're here for you if you need us, whatever the time of day or night."

"Thanks, Deeks. Thanks to both of you for everything."

Callen then got into his car and waved at them before pulling out and finally starting back towards his home.

"You think he'll be okay?" Kensi asked Deeks as they slowly headed back up the walkway to their house.

"Yeah, I do, Kens." He nodded and smiled as he put his arm around Kensi's back. "I think he's going to be just fine."

xxxxx

Callen stepped inside his house and put his duffel bag down by the front door. He would go out and get the rest of his stuff from the car in a little while. The house was hot and stuffy so the first thing he did was to go open some windows to let some fresh air inside. He then wandered around each room and took a look around. Everything was just as he had left it. He saved the kitchen for last, not really looking forward to the refrigerator. He hadn't had much in there, but what had been there would have been spoiled quite some time ago. He opened the door and was surprised to see all the old, spoiled food had been cleared out and in its place were fresh cold cuts, some ready-made meals from his favorite market, fresh fruits and vegetables as well as varied other items and even some single-serve desserts. A quick look through the freezer revealed more of the same.

"Hetty," he said knowingly. He immediately took his cell phone out of his pocket and proceeded to hit her name on the speed dial.

"Good morning, Mr. Callen," Hetty answered as she picked up the phone. "And how are you on this fine day?"

"I'm good, Hetty. How are you?"

"Why I'm just fine."

"I wanted to thank you for all the food you put in my refrigerator and for taking out the old stuff, as well. It was really nice of you."

"Why are you so sure it was me who did it?" Hetty asked.

"You mean it wasn't you?" Callen asked in disbelief.

"No, you were right the first time," Hetty said with a chuckle. "I didn't want you to get home and have to deal with all that first thing or feel like you needed to order takeout, especially as I'm sure you've become accustomed to Mr. Deeks' fine culinary skill."

"Deeks is a good cook for sure," Callen agreed.

"Not that there's any reason why you, yourself couldn't learn to cook."

"You know what they say about old dogs, Hetty," Callen said.

"You're not old." Hetty said. "That's an excuse and you know it. I'm sure you could learn if you put your mind to it. I know for a fact that Mr. Deeks would be happy to teach you."

"You and Deeks talked about this?" Callen asked, not quite sure he believed that.

"No, no, we did not, but he's quite a giving soul. I'm sure he would teach you if you asked him."

"Uh...yeah, I'll think about it," Callen said. "In any case, thanks again for all that you did. I really do appreciate it."

"You're very welcome, Mr. Callen. Enjoy the rest of your day."

"You too, Hetty."

xxxxx

That night, Callen sat in his living room and watched out the window as the sky became darker and darker. He then turned on the light in the living room and went into his bedroom and turned the light on there too. He then went back into the living room and pulled out the chess set Sam's kids had given him for Christmas and set it up on his living room floor. He was deeply concentrating on the game when his cell phone rang. Glancing at the display, he saw his partner's name on the caller ID display. "Hey Sam."

"Hey G. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay," Callen replied. He then continued, knowing the reason for his partner's call. "You don't have to worry."

"I'm not worried," Sam said quickly. "I just...I don't know, I thought maybe you were lonesome."

Callen couldn't help but smile. "Really Sam? You'd be the first one to refer to me as a lone wolf."

"When's the last time I've said that to you?" Sam asked. "Not for a long time. Anyhow, I figured you were used to being with people. You've been with either my family or Kensi and Deeks for weeks. I just...I figured you were used to that now and it might be weird being by yourself again."

Callen didn't say anything and Sam went on. "Fine, I admit it. I'm checking up on you. Is it a crime to be worried about my partner?"

"No, Sam. It's not a crime," Callen said, still smiling to himself. "God knows, I've given you enough reasons to worry about me. But honestly, I really am doing well."

"I believe you," Sam said. "But I actually did have another reason for calling, besides checking on you. I called to ask if you wanted to join my family on New Year's Eve. Michelle is going to make a prime rib. It should be nice. I mean, I get if you don't..."

"Sam."

"Want to. I know that..."

"Sam!" Callen tried again and this time he succeeded in getting his partner to stop talking. "I'd like to join your family on New Year's Eve. Thank you for the invitation."

"Yeah?" Sam asked, sounding surprised.

"Would you rather I said no?" Callen asked, laughing.

"No. No, G. I'm very glad you said yes," Sam said quickly. "Thanks..."

"No, thank you," Callen said.

"And G?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll call me if you need to, right?" Sam asked. "I want you to if you need anything, or you just need to talk, anything at all."

"I promise Sam. I'll call you if I need to," Callen said softly. "And thanks. I really appreciate it. You're a good friend."

"Right back at you, buddy. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Good night, Sam."

"Good night, G."

Callen clicked off his phone and looked down at the chess board, but his concentration was broken now and he was tired of playing. Truthfully, he was just tired in general. He stood up and stretched as he yawned loudly. Yes, definitely tired. He walked to his bedroom and changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt then slipped in between the cool crisp sheets which, he now discovered, were brand new. He'd have to thank Hetty for that too the following morning. He then turned on Kensi's little tree, which he still thought of as hers although she had given it to him, and turned off the bedroom light. The effect of the lights was different here than it had been at Kensi and Deeks' house, but the pattern of lights on the walls and ceiling was still striking and somehow soothing. He looked at them for a short time, but his eyelids were heavy and it wasn't long at all before he fell into a restful sleep.

xxxxx

"So, how was your first night back at home?" Rachel asked, looking at Callen speculatively. The two were sitting in an out-of-the-way coffee shop, which wasn't very busy, so they were able to talk privately.

"It was good," Callen said. "I'm definitely glad to be home."

Rachel nodded, glad to see that he seemed to be very much at ease and she believed what he was telling her. "Any nightmares?"

Callen shook his head. "No, not last night anyway." He'd always been prone to nightmares, so he was pretty sure he'd revisit them at some point, but lately, they had definitely been coming less frequently and they weren't as vivid and intense as they had been.

"That must be a relief for you."

"Yes, it's nice to be able to sleep for a few hours without having them," Callen admitted before taking a sip of his tea.

"And did you sleep with the light on?"

Callen sighed as he crinkled up a napkin on the table an absently began to play with it. "I slept with a little ceramic tree on…Kensi gave it to me." His cheeks reddened slightly and he didn't meet Rachel's gaze.

"Come now, Callen," Rachel said quietly. "That's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a coping mechanism, and a very good one at that."

Callen continued to fidget with the napkin before he finally looked up and looked at Rachel. "I know it's weird," he said. "I guess the tree is no different than a little kid having a nightlight…except I'm a grown man."

"You know Callen, plenty of adults sleep with some kind of light at night. It's nothing to be ashamed of at all. I can show you plenty of articles citing all kinds of benefits if you don't believe me."

"I believe you," Callen said, still looking somewhat uncomfortable. "It's just that I've never been one of those people. I…I even used to find the dark somewhat comforting as a child. It gave me a place to hide."

"Even after what happened with Donald Murphy?" Rachel questioned gently.

Callen hesitated then nodded. "Yes, because I blocked all of that out after it happened…darkness used to give me a means to escape." Of course, there were plenty of times that he'd still been found in the darkness and hurt or beaten, but he didn't want to go into that.

"To escape beatings?" Rachel prodded.

"Yeah, I guess," Callen admitted reluctantly.

Rachel could see he was uncomfortable with this topic of conversation so she decided to move off of it for the time being. "Well, the main point is, you don't need to worry about having some kind of light in your room at night to help you to relax. Whatever it takes, Callen."

"Okay," he said with a faint smile on his lips. "But I wonder if maybe I should try to find another substitute for a Christmas tree outside of the Christmas season.

"You'll be amazed at the varied selection you can find on Amazon," Rachel informed him. When Callen gave her a surprised look, she laughed. "You don't really think that you're the first one of my patients who has had this particular issue? It's much more common than you think. So please, stop worrying about it so much."

"I'll try," Callen said.

"Good, now how are you feeling about returning to full duty work next week?"

"I'm really excited about it," Callen replied, but there was something in his eyes which didn't seem convincing to Rachel.

"Is there a but along with your excitement?" she asked him.

"What? No." Callen shook his head. "I really do want to go back. This is what I've been working towards, that and going home and just feeling normal again."

"So, no hesitations at all?"

"I…"

"Please, Callen, just out with it. There's obviously something bothering you about this."

"It's the assistant director," he finally said. "Granger."

"Oh…well what about him?"

"I don't think he wants me to return," Callen said. "I think he would have been really happy to have Sam take over permanently."

"Do the two of you not get along?"

"We've rubbed each other the wrong way on occasion…he and Sam definitely seem to click better than he does with me."

"Do you think that some of this could just be in your head?" Rachel asked. "If it was that much of an issue, wouldn't Hetty be concerned about it also? I'll tell you, Callen, she was very much onboard with your returning to work. We discussed it at length before we both concluded it was the right thing to do."

"Hetty isn't exactly impartial where I'm concerned," Callen said. Even though they'd had their disagreements in the past, when it came right down to it, she was usually on his side. "Anyhow, she and Granger have butted heads in the past as well."

"Well, I don't know the man, Callen, but I really think you need to try to get past this. If it does turn out to be an issue, we can discuss how you can best deal with it, but for now, I think you should try not to worry about something that hasn't happened yet."

"How are we going to do that?"

"How are we going to do what?" Rachel asked, looking a little bit confused.

"Discuss it. Are you still going to be staying out here in Los Angeles?"

"Oh, no," Rachel said with a shake of her head. "I'm actually going to be heading back home tonight. I'll spend New Year's there and then I'll start up with team evaluations."

"Oh, so I'm not sure I understand then," Callen said. "Is therapy over after today?" He would have never believed he would feel this way, but he actually felt a little bit at a loss that it was ending just like that.

"Well, in all honesty, Callen, I think it would be of benefit for you to continue with therapy, but I'm not going to force you or make it a condition for your return to work. I'll leave that up to you."

Callen was quiet for a few moments before he met Rachel's eyes once again. "I don't think I'd feel comfortable starting over again with a new therapist."

"Well, there are other options, if you'd like to continue on with me. I could always conduct sessions via Skype or FaceTime if you'd like. It's not quite as ideal as in-person sessions, but I've found it to be very effective with others in the past."

Callen briefly considered that option and then nodded. "I think I'd like that, Rachel."

"Is this the same man who thought therapy was a fate worse than death when I first met him?" Rachel asked, smiling.

"Yeah, it is," Callen said, smiling back at her. "But you've really helped me…more than I thought possible, so I think it's a good idea to continue… at least for a while."

"I think it's a good idea too," said Rachel. "I'm glad to hear that you agree."

They talked for a little while longer and then it was time for Rachel to leave. They left the coffee shop and Callen walked her to her car. "I'm not sure how to thank you for everything you've done," Callen said as she dug her car keys out from her purse. "You've really helped me a lot."

"You don't need to thank me, Callen," Rachel said. "Just knowing you are doing so well is all the thanks I need. It's been a real pleasure and I look forward to our future sessions."

"I do too," Callen said. "Happy New Year, Rachel. Have a safe flight."

"Happy New Year, Callen and good luck on your first day of full duty. I have a feeling you're going to do great. I'll touch base with you next week, okay?"

"Okay, sounds good."

He waited until Rachel had gotten into her car and started it up, then waved as she pulled out of her spot. He then walked to where his own car was parked and headed home. The next day was New Year's Eve and he was honestly looking forward to putting this year behind him and looking forward to what the new year would bring.


	86. Chapter 86

_Well, here it is, finally, the conclusion to this monster of a story. I can't believe it's taken so long and this chapter was especially challenging to write. It's also absurdly long at over 7000 words. I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I've struggled with it for a while now and I really think it was the best I could do._

 _In any case, for those of you who have actually followed through with this until the end, I can't begin to thank you enough. I don't want to mention names because I don't want to miss people, but those of you who supported me, I'm sure you know who you are and I hope you know how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you all so much._

xxxxx

Kensi and Deeks sat at a candlelit table at the hotel restaurant, gazing into each other's eyes. "Happy New Year," Deeks whispered to Kensi.

"Happy New Year, Deeks." Kensi smiled at him and sighed happily as she looked out at the view of the water through the picture window they were seated beside. "This was the most perfect gift Callen could have given to us."

Deeks nodded. "It is, but...I still don't think he should have spent so much money on us."

"But he wanted to do it," Kensi protested gently. "He would have been offended if we had refused."

"I know it was what he wanted," Deeks agreed. "It's just, we did what we did for Callen because he's our friend and we wanted to help him. I didn't expect any kind of payback, Kens…did you?"

"I don't really think he thought of this as payback, Deeks. I just think he wanted to do something nice for us. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel bad."

"You're right, baby. And I don't feel bad," Deeks said, finally just deciding to be happy about Callen's gift and not read anything into it. "It's New Year's eve and I'm sitting across from the most beautiful woman in the world. I'd have to be nuts to complain about that."

"I agree," Kensi said. "I have only positive thoughts about the year ahead for us."

"Sounds like a good plan," Deeks said.

"Oh look, the fireworks are starting," Kensi exclaimed as the first burst of multi-colored lights in the sky appeared over the water.

"What do you say after these fireworks, we head up to our room and make some of our own," Deeks said with a grin.

"I'd say that sounds like a very good idea," Kensi replied, smiling back at him.

xxxxx

"That dinner was outstanding, Michelle." Callen patted his stomach with a smile as he pushed his chair away from the table. "I'm unbelievably stuffed."

"No room for dessert?" Michelle asked. "I made my five-layer royal fudge cake."

"Mmm…" Kamran said enthusiastically. "You don't want to miss that, Uncle Callen."

"Maybe later," Callen said with a grin. "I want to be able to appreciate it."

Michelle nodded. "I don't think I'm quite ready for it myself. Sam?"

Sam shook his head. "I think I'll wait too." He glanced over at his partner. "Come on, G. Let's go out to the living room."

"Uh…shouldn't we help clear the table?" Callen asked.

"You and Sam go relax," Michelle insisted. "I have a perfectly capable helper right here." She smiled at Kam who good-naturedly began to clear the table. Aiden had chosen to ring in the new year with some friends.

Sam and Callen went out into the living room and sat on the sofa. "You want a drink or anything, G?" Sam asked.

"No thanks, I'm good Sam. That was a really delicious meal."

"I've got to say, I'm a little spoiled when it comes to Michelle's cooking," Sam admitted, leaning against the back of the sofa and putting his hands over his stomach contentedly.

"Even the Sunday night casseroles?" Callen asked mischievously as he lowered his voice so as not to be overheard.

Sam grinned at his partner. "One of these days, I'm going to tell her what you really think, G."

Callen raised an eyebrow. "Really…This comes from a guy who always tosses his Monday afternoon leftover lunches and heads out to the food truck?"

Sam tried to think of a way to defend himself, but nothing readily came to mind. "Fine…you've got me," Sam said with a sigh. "I'll keep your secret and you keep mine, deal?"

"Deal," Callen said with a self-satisfied smirk.

xxxxx

"Happy New Year, partner," Sam gave his friend a warm hug after he had appropriately hugged and kissed Michelle to welcome in the new year.

"Happy New Year, Sam," Callen said, returning his embrace.

Kamran was dancing around the living room blowing on her noisemaker. "Happy New Year, everybody!" She then hugged her mother, father and Callen each in turn. "I hope you have a very happy new year, Uncle Callen," she said earnestly.

"Thanks, sweetheart," Callen replied. "I wish the same to you as well."

Callen hung out with the Hanna family for a little while longer and then decided to head home. Michelle had packed up a considerable amount of leftovers for him as well as a large amount of cake, as they had never ended up eating it that evening. "You still trying to fatten me up?" Callen asked in amusement. He had regained almost all the weight he had lost after the plane crash, but not quite all of it.

"I think you still have a few pounds to go," Michelle said as she hugged him. "Happy new year, Callen. I wish you all the best at work next week, though I know you're not going to need it."

"Thanks, Michelle…for everything."

"Come on, G. I'll walk you out to your car." Sam threw his arm around Callen's upper back. Kamran had already headed up to bed for the night. "You sure you don't want to stay over?" he asked as they walked to where Callen's car was parked.

Callen shook his head. "No thanks, Sam…I'm good. Besides, I need to take care of some bills and stuff tomorrow."

"Bills?" Sam looked at his partner in amusement. "You don't buy things, G. How could you have bills?"

"Electric, cable... I do have some bills, Sam."

"I know you do, I'm just teasing you, buddy. So…" Sam took on a more serious expression as he looked at his partner who had just put the food into the backseat of his car. "You good about Monday?"

Callen nodded, but there was a tiny bit of uncertainty in his eyes which Sam picked up on immediately. "Sure…I'm good."

"Good, because it's going to be fine. You've come such a long way and this is just the last step. Just icing on the cake."

Callen nodded. "Thanks Sam…you're right…It's going to be fine."

"I'll pick you up Monday morning, G," Sam said with a grin. "I'll be incredibly happy to have my partner back full time again."

"Me too," Callen said, smiling back at his friend as he got into his car. "I'll see you Monday."

xxxxx

The next morning, Callen awoke early. Although it was true that he had a couple of bills to pay, that would be quickly taken care of that evening. There was another, more important reason, why he hadn't taken Sam up on his offer to spend the night. He quickly showered, dressed, then headed out to his car and started to drive. He stopped at a drive-through for coffee and a bagel then began the two-hour car trip.

When he arrived at his destination, he sat in his car and stared at the two cars in the driveway of the single family house. He hadn't called ahead. He supposed there was a tiny part of him that may have hoped she wasn't home, but he knew this was something he had to do, no matter how difficult it might be. Finally, he took a deep breath, walked up the front walkway and rang the doorbell. A few minutes later, the door opened and he stared into the deep brown eyes of Jessica, Andy's wife.

"Callen…" she stared at him, obviously surprised by his impromptu visit. "I…come in…" She stood aside and Callen entered the house.

"I'm sorry, Jess," he said. "I know I shouldn't have just shown up like this. I should have called." He suddenly realized that it had been selfish of him not to have given her a heads up.

"No, it's fine," she said with a shake of her head. "It's good to see you. Come in and sit down. Can I get you a drink or anything? I have some homemade brownies."

"No, I'm good, thanks." He definitely was too nervous to eat.

"Okay." Jessica took a seat on the sofa and then Callen sat down beside her.

"So…I heard what happened to Andy…"

"You heard?" Jessica asked with a small smile as she absently twisted a long curl around her finger. "You always want to protect people, Callen, but you don't have to protect me. I know what happened. I know what Andy did and…and I know what he did to you. I'm very sorry that he hurt you." Her eyes filled with tears as she leaned into Callen and he gave her a heartfelt embrace.

"I'm really sorry you have to go through this," Callen said softly.

"I just…I don't understand why he did it. It makes no sense."

"He was really distraught, Jess," Callen said with a sigh. "He definitely wasn't thinking clearly. I think he was just so worried about you and your children that he just lost it."

"I guess I'll never really understand."

"So, he didn't leave you a note or any kind of explanation?" Callen couldn't even fathom how Andy had chosen the path he had taken. If it had been him, he would have done everything in his power to keep his family safe and reunite with them. Like Jessica, he didn't understand the choice that Andy had made. Jessica shook her head. "No…nothing…"

"So, how are you and the kids doing?"

Jessica shrugged. "It's been hard on all of us, especially Sarah and Sammy. They were really close to Andy. He was a great father to them."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Callen asked. "I have some money put aside. I..."

"We're fine, Callen," Jessica said, interrupting him. "Andy was always a planner. He had a life insurance policy that will provide nicely for me and the children."

"I just wasn't sure," Callen began hesitantly. "With the circumstances and all..."

"There was a two year su...icide… Jessica stumbled over the word, fighting back tears, "clause. We were well past that. I…I won't have to worry about their college educations…or…or…anything."

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop him," Callen said, bowing his head before gazing back at her. "You'll never know how sorry."

"Oh Callen, I don't blame you." Jessica reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "I know if there was anything you could have done to save Andy, you would have. I just thank God he didn't hurt you any more seriously. He could have…" She trailed off as she gazed at him.

Callen nodded as he looked back at her. Once upon a time, he could have envisioned a future between him and Jessica, but Andy had had strong feelings for her and Callen never would have tried to go between them. Still though, it made him wonder about the world and how things worked out or sometimes didn't work out. "Are the kids here?" he finally asked after a long silence.

"No…they're playing with some friends. All the other parents have been great. I try to encourage them to spend time with their friends as much as possible."

"What about you?" Callen asked. "This house must get pretty empty when they're not around."

Jessica hesitated, then nodded. "It does, but I'm going to be okay. I'm so grateful I have them though. How about you? Do you have any children?"

"No," Callen said, shaking his head. "Not yet anyway."

"Anyone special in your life?"

"Not right now…" Suddenly feeling a little bit uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, Callen decided to change it. "So…I guess maybe I'll try one of those homemade brownies you mentioned," he said with a grin.

"I'll go get them," Jessica said. She headed out into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a plateful of brownies and some milk.

"Your kids must love these," Callen said after he had eaten one of the chocolatey treats and unabashedly reached for a second. "You always were a fantastic cook." Back when he, Andy and Jessica had hung out together, she had made them some delicious meals.

"You were always pretty easy to please," Jessica said, smiling.

"Well, I didn't get a lot of home cooking back then."

The rest of the visit was spent reminiscing about earlier times with much happier memories. "I guess I should get going," Callen said, a little reluctantly, after a couple of hours.

Jessica went out into the kitchen and returned with a bag which she handed to Callen. "Here are some brownies for the road. It's nice to see them appreciated by someone else for a change."

"What about your kids?" Callen asked.

"Trust me, they get plenty of sweets, more than what's good for them, I'm afraid, especially now. I have to admit that I have a hard time saying no to them these days."

"I think that's understandable, Jess," Callen said quietly, his blue eyes filled with sympathy.

Jessica nodded. "It was really nice seeing you again, Callen. I'm sorry you didn't get to meet the kids. Maybe another time?" she asked as she gave him a hopeful look.

"I'd like that," Callen replied. "We'll try to make that happen soon, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks again for coming." She reached for him and they hugged tightly before Callen gently pulled away.

"You take care of yourself, Jess. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything…anything at all."

"I won't. Thank you." She sadly watched from the doorway as he walked to his car and continued to do so until he had driven out of sight.

xxxxx

Callen paced nervously through the rooms of his house as he waited for Sam to arrive to pick him up for work. In some ways it seemed like only yesterday since his partner and he had commuted together, but in other ways, it felt like a lifetime ago. It was such a simple thing and it was the largest part of reestablishing the normalcy in his life, but he felt anything but normal today. When he had returned to work after the Venice Beach shooting, he hadn't felt anything like this. Of course, he'd been younger then and he hadn't been mentally affected by the shooting as he had by all that had happened in the aftermath of the plane crash.

He took a couple of slow deep breaths as he thought about his team. Each one of his team members had proved to be one hundred percent loyal and supportive to him through his recovery. He had leaned on them more than he had ever wanted or expected to. Of course, Sam and his family had proven themselves in the past, helping him through his recovery from the shooting as well as the Spiral virus when he'd been weak as a newborn kitten. He had to admit though, it still surprised him how easily he had fit in with staying with Kensi and Deeks. He'd always thought of Kensi as a little sister and she'd been nothing but kind to him, even though she was still recovering herself. And Deeks…he'd been the most surprising of all of them. He had seemed to instinctively know when to take a step back and give Callen the time and space he needed to breathe, but he'd made it clear that he was there for him to talk to him after a nightmare or drag him out of the house at just the right time.

Then there was Hetty. They'd clashed more than a few times over the years, but deep down he knew she had his best interests at heart. He knew that children fought with their parents, even adult children, and Hetty was the closest person he'd ever had to a mother. He knew he'd always be grateful to her for taking him out of the foster care system, and even though she sometimes upset him more than he liked to admit, he knew deep down that she had his best interests at heart.

The ringing of his doorbell brought Callen out of his musings and he opened the door to find Sam, grinning at him. "Good morning, Sam," Callen said, smiling back at his partner, immediately more at ease.

"Good morning G," Sam replied. "You all set?"

Callen nodded as he stepped outside and closed the front door behind him. It was a perfect Los Angeles morning, slightly cool with sunshine and blue skies. Weather-wise, he couldn't have asked for a better day for his first day back to full time work.

"So how are you doing?" Sam asked, glancing at his partner after they'd seat-belted themselves into the Challenger and were on their way.

"I'm good," Callen replied, deciding not to mention how many times he had woken during the night worrying about one thing or another. "You?"

"I'm good too, G," Sam said. "Happy to have my partner back. It's been a long time coming."

"Yeah it has," Callen said. "I'm glad to be back, Sam." His nerves didn't really have anything to do with not feeling confident about being able to do his job. He actually couldn't put a finger on exactly what it was that was troubling him. Maybe it was just a case of first day jitters, although that didn't make sense for him either when he'd had the same job for years. "What?" He realized Sam had said something to him and he had no idea what it was.

"I asked if you wanted to stop for coffee. You sure you're okay, buddy?" Sam asked. "You seem to be a million miles away."

"Just thinking," Callen said with a shrug, "but yeah, I'm okay and coffee sounds good."

"I hope you're not letting this thing with Granger bother you," Sam continued as he pulled into the drive-through of their favorite coffee place. "Because I really just think you've built it up in your head, G. Everything is going to be fine. In any case, we have your back and Hetty does too."

"Thanks, Sam."

xxxxx

A short while later, Callen and Sam walked into the mission, each of them carrying two coffee cups. "Good morning, guys." Sam handed a cup of coffee to Deeks who was already seated at his desk.

"Thanks Sam," Deeks said, accepting the coffee with a smile.

"Good morning." Callen handed a cup to Kensi and then went over to his desk where he stopped short, a pleased smile on his face. "What's this?" he asked, looking down at a large bakery box from Angela's Bakery.

"Only one way to find out," Deeks said.

Callen put down his coffee cup and proceeded to open the box. Inside was a fancy coffee cake with "Welcome Back Callen," written on top with white icing. "Thanks, guys," Callen said. "But I've been back."

"But not in your official capacity as team leader," Kensi said. "Anyhow, it's just a little something to show you how much you mean to us and how glad we are that you're back where you belong."

"Thank you," Callen said, looking a little bit emotional. "I'm happy to be back."

"Mr. Callen." Hetty walked into the bullpen and smiled at her team leader. "It's very good to see you." She turned to the rest of the team. "I trust all of you enjoyed your holiday week?"

"We did," Kensi said, smiling at Deeks who returned her smile.

"I did too," Sam replied. "Did you have a nice new year, Hetty?"

"Indeed I did, Mr. Hanna," Hetty replied. "I took a few days to visit with an old friend and we had a lovely time reminiscing and spending time together."

"Was this old friend of the male variety?" Callen asked, a slight smirk on his lips.

"Don't be cheeky, Mr. Callen," Hetty said, smiling fondly at him. In some ways, he had never really changed from the boy she had taken in so many years ago. She looked down at the coffee cake in the box. "That looks quite lovely. Why don't we take a little coffee break now and then get to work."

The team nodded happily as Deeks went off to get some plates and a knife to cut the cake.

xxxxx

"Agent Callen."

Callen immediately froze when he heard Granger's voice behind him, feeling the exact same way he had felt at various points in his life when he knew trouble was ahead for him. He saw Deeks and Sam looking at him encouragingly from across the bullpen and he turned around to face Granger. "Assistant Director."

"Welcome back. I'd like to speak with you if you have the time."

"Of course…" Callen got to his feet, trying not to let the reluctance inside of him show. He couldn't imagine Granger was going to straight out fire him, but he really had no guarantee that it wouldn't be the case. Granger's expression told him nothing, not that the man was ever particularly expressive, at least not with him. He followed Granger, trying to slow his heartbeat which was racing. Finally, they ended up alone in the weapons room. "Are you going to shoot me, sir?" Callen asked.

Granger stared at him and Callen got even more uncomfortable. "Sorry…"

"What the hell is this sir crap?" Granger asked. "I really thought we were past all this. I honestly didn't think this was necessary, but Hetty said I needed to talk to you so let's get to it."

Callen slowly shook his head. "I didn't say anything to Hetty."

"I understand that I may not have coddled you like the others after the plane crash…"

Callen bristled at that. "I didn't expect to be coddled," he said narrowing his eyes.

"But yet, I keep hearing that you're afraid you're not getting your job back. You have your job back, Agent Callen. Unless you do something to jeopardize it, you're not going to lose your position on your team."

"Thank you," Callen said, feeling rather foolish about the whole thing now. Like he'd been told, he'd blown the whole thing up in his mind into something that hadn't really existed. "I guess I just…" He started to explain but then realized that his explanation was likely the last thing the Assistant Director wanted to hear.

"You guess what?" Granger asked, his tone less harsh than it had been.

Callen shrugged. "I don't know…I guess I just thought you wanted Sam for the position…"

Granger sighed and shook his head. "Agent Hanna is superb at what he does, but so are you. If, for some reason, you had been unable to resume your duties as a field agent and team leader, Agent Hanna would have been a commendable replacement. But Callen, you're back. I know you went through hell to get here. I'm certainly not going to stand in your way."

Callen nodded and took a deep breath to keep his emotions in check before facing Granger. "Thank you, Granger," he said softly. "I really do appreciate that. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise."

"Get back to work Callen," Granger said gruffly.

Callen smiled and then headed back to the bullpen, feeling better than he had felt in quite some time.

xxxxx

"We have information about the possible location of Clyde Becker," Hetty said as she came into the bullpen followed by Eric and Nell. Becker was the leader of a drug cartel who had been eluding them for quite some time.

"Nothing definite," Eric said, but there's the possibility that he's at the location I've sent to your phones. A source told us he may be wounded which may be why he's holed up there. It's a deserted warehouse on Summer Street."

"We'll check it out," Callen said. As far as he was concerned, the sooner he got thrown back into the fire so to speak, the better off he was.

Hetty nodded, but her eyes were concerned as she looked at Callen. "Be careful," she said softly to him.

"I'll be fine," Callen said, smiling at her.

She watched as he headed out and turned to Sam. "You'll have his back, Mr. Hanna?"

"I always do, Hetty," Sam said as he and Deeks followed out after him.

"Godspeed to all of you," Hetty said softly, a worried expression on her face as she watched until the three men were out of her sight. She was always concerned about them, but this time her thoughts were more ominous than usual.

xxxxx

"Deeks…you cover the back," Callen said quietly after they had put on their body armor and had their weapons ready to go.

Deeks nodded and exchanged a quick look with Sam. Both were somewhat troubled in spite of the assurances Sam had given Hetty. A dimly lit, deserted warehouse wasn't what they would have chosen for Callen's first field assignment.

Deeks headed for the back and Sam and Callen made their way to the front of the building. Callen tried the doorknob and found the door to be unlocked. The two cautiously and silently made their way inside, closing the door behind them. Callen pointed towards the left and Sam went that way while Callen headed towards the right. At least the building had somewhat better lighting than it had appeared to from the outside.

Callen caught sight of a sudden movement and saw a man aiming a rifle at his partner. "Gun! Sam get down!" Without a moment's hesitation, Sam heeded his partner's warning and dove for cover behind some old wooden crates, hitting the floor extremely hard. In the meantime, Callen's eyes met the eyes of the shooter. Luckily, he proved to be a little quicker as he shot three rounds into the man who had been about to shoot his partner.

"Sam, are you all right?" Callen called out as he ran over to the fallen man and checked for a pulse. He quickly determined that the man was indeed Clyde Becker and that he was dead. He then cast an anxious glance at his partner. "Sam?"

Sam nodded as he slowly got up off the dirty floor and brushed off his pants, then gently rubbed his shoulder which he had heavily fallen on. "I'm good, G. Thanks." He looked over at Callen and smiled at him. "You saved my ass. It's really good to have you back, partner."

"I'm glad I was here," Callen said as he directed a heartfelt smile back at his friend. At the moment, he was just very relieved that Sam was unharmed.

"Hey, you guys okay?" Deeks asked breathlessly as he ran over to them, looking from Callen to Sam and then at the dead man lying on the warehouse floor.

"We're good, Deeks," Callen replied then glanced at the dead assailant. "Becker's not so good."

"There's no sign of anyone else in here," Deeks informed them. "Or if they were here, they're gone now."

"I'll call it in," said Sam.

Callen took a few deep breaths and walked away, trying to get his surge of adrenaline and his fast heartbeat back under control.

"G?" Callen turned to his partner who had come up behind him. "Are you okay?"

Callen nodded. "I'm good, Sam." He was a little uncomfortable with the attention being focused on him. It wasn't like they all didn't do this kind of thing all the time and no one made a particularly big deal about it. He supposed, under the circumstances though, that he couldn't blame anyone for concentrating on him more than usual. It was probably something he was going to have to get used to, at least for the time being.

xxxxx

The week went by quickly, with Callen gaining more and more confidence as each day went by. Friday was a slow day with no active cases. "You guys want to go out to dinner tonight?" Sam asked at a little after 4. He was just finishing up another Tootsie pop wrapper origami animal to add to his collection, or rather Kamran's collection. Most of the time, he gave his creations to her.

"I'll go," Callen answered quickly, looking up from the online crossword puzzle he was doing. For once, his paperwork was all caught up.

Deeks glanced over at Kensi who smiled mischievously as she nodded her assent. "Sounds good, Sam," Deeks replied. "What did you have in mind?"

Sam thought for a few moments. "Chinese?"

Each member of the team nodded in agreement.

"Okay, how about the Imperial Palace?" Sam asked.

"Works for me," Callen stated.

"We'll meet you there," Deeks said. "What time?"

"Six," Sam replied. "I'll make a reservation."

"I'm going to ask Hetty if she'd like to join us," Callen said.

"Hetty already left for the day," Kensi informed him. "She said she had some things to do."

"Oh, okay," Callen said. "Should we invite Nell and Eric to come along?"

"I think they already have plans," Deeks said.

"Guess it'll just be the four of us," Sam said as he grinned at his partner. "Don't worry, G. We'll still have a good time."

xxxxx

Callen and Sam arrived at the restaurant a little after 6. Sam gave his name to the maître D who immediately beckoned a waiter to bring them to their table. They were then led through the crowded restaurant towards the function area. "Sam, what's going on?" Callen asked, his suspicions aroused as the waiter stopped at a closed door to one of the function rooms.

"Enjoy your evening," the waiter said, smiling as he scurried away.

"They had no tables available so they gave us a room," Sam told Callen

Callen looked at his partner incredulously. "You expect me to believe that?"

Sam chuckled as he threw his arm around his partner's shoulders. "Come on, G. This is going to be painless, I promise you." Before Callen could protest or really do anything at all, Sam opened the door and gently pushed his partner through the doorway as the occupants of the room yelled "Surprise!" and then everyone broke into applause.

Stunned by the number of people gathered in the room, and very uncomfortable with being the center of attention, Callen just stood there until Kamran came over and hugged him. "Did we surprise you, Uncle Callen?" she asked, grinning up at him. "You look pretty surprised."

"Yes, I'm very surprised," Callen said, returning the girl's hug. He then let go of her and took a look at the familiar faces in the room. Of course, the team was there, including Eric, Nell, Hetty and even Granger. There were a lot of people from the office and most surprising was the appearance of Director Vance, Rachel and Gibbs.

"So, how mad are you?" Sam asked his partner teasingly.

"I'm not mad," Callen replied, gazing back at Sam seriously. "I just…I don't get all the fuss."

"Everybody here loves you, Uncle Callen," Kam stated. "They wanted to give you this party to show you how much."

Callen smiled at Kamran, but he was still uncomfortable and not sure what he was supposed to do next.

"I think everyone's getting hungry, G," Sam informed his partner as he gestured towards the well-stocked buffet at the side of the room.

"So why don't they eat?" Callen asked, not sure what Sam was getting at.

"It's your party, Uncle Callen," Kamran whispered. "You have to go first. They're waiting for you."

Callen looked at Sam for confirmation of what Kamran had said. Sam nodded, almost feeling sorry for Callen. It was obvious that he'd never had this kind of celebration in his honor before. "Go ahead G. Don't worry. We'll be right behind you."

Still looking a little unsure and aware that all eyes were on him, Callen headed to the buffet. There was a huge variety of food including various varieties of fried rice, lo mein, chow mein, chicken fingers, chicken wings, spare ribs, crab rangoons, egg rolls, pork strips, chicken and broccoli, beef and chicken teriyaki, sweet and sour chicken, and moo goo gai pan. As Callen filled his plate with his choices, he vaguely wondered who had paid for this shindig. His best guess was Hetty. It had obviously cost a pretty penny.

"Callen's looking a little out of his element," Deeks said softly to Kensi as they took their places in the buffet line.

"Well, I certainly don't think he ever would have expected this," Kensi replied. "I think it's good for him though. It lets him know much everyone cares about him."

"You don't think he knows by now?" Deeks asked.

Kensi shrugged. "I don't know, Deeks. I still think he has his moments of doubt. Childhood scars run deep. In any case, it can't hurt to reinforce it."

They moved through the line and went to their table. Callen, Hetty, Sam and his family were already seated. Callen looked noticeably more relaxed now that he was seated and out of the spotlight. "So, Mr. Callen, what do you make of all this?" Hetty asked.

"It's really nice," Callen said slowly, "but I guess I don't really understand why…"

"Because we're happy you're back, G," Sam said. "You've come a long way and we're proud of you."

Callen shook his head. "It's just...I didn't do any of it myself, Sam. All of you helped me. His eyes met the gazes of each member of his team and then Hetty. "If you all hadn't been there for me, God knows what could have happened. This should be for you, even more than it should be for me."

"Come on, Callen," Deeks said. "Maybe we helped you along the way, but you did all the hard stuff yourself. A lot of people might have given up, but you wanted to come back to work and you did. Give yourself some credit, man."

"All I know is that I'm grateful to each and every one of you," Callen said quietly. He knew how much they had all helped him and that chances were good he wouldn't have gotten through any of what had happened without the help of his teammates.

"I think I speak for all of us when I say we were happy to do it, G," Sam said, giving his friend a heartfelt look which Callen acknowledged with a nod and a faint smile. After that, the discussion moved onto some lighter topics and the remainder of the meal was spent with lots of joking and laughter.

After he had finished eating, Callen headed over to the table where Vance, Granger, Gibbs and Rachel were all sitting. "Hey Callen." Gibbs greeted his friend as he stood up and the two men hugged. "It's really good to see you. You look great."

"You look great too," Callen said, gazing happily at his long-time friend. "Man, it's been a while."

"That it has," Gibbs replied.

Callen turned his attention to Director Vance as the two men shook hands. "Director, it was really nice of you to come."

"It was my pleasure," Vance said. "I've gotten a lot of good reports about you this week. I'm glad you're doing so well."

"He's been doing extremely well," Granger said entering the conversation as he gave Callen a pointed look. "It's almost like he was never gone at all."

Rachel had been observing Callen's interactions with interest and smiled when he turned to her. "I didn't expect to see you this soon," Callen said. "It's a nice surprise."

"I was very glad the director arranged for Gibbs and I to come out with him on his private plane," Rachel said.

"Yeah? How long will you be staying?" Callen asked.

"Unfortunately, we'll be leaving directly after the party," Vance answered. "Gibbs' team is on call this weekend and I have a lot of matters I need to attend to, as well."

"Well, at least we can catch up a little bit tonight," Callen said to Gibbs. "One of these days you're going to have to come out here for a longer visit."

"Before you and Gibbs began catching up, can I talk with you for a few minutes?" Rachel asked.

"Of course," Callen said.

"Why don't we go say hello to some people?" Vance suggested as he, Gibbs and Granger quickly made themselves scarce.

"So," Rachel began after she and Callen were alone. "Good week?"

Callen nodded, a big smile on his face. "Yeah, it was a really good week. Much better than I could have hoped for."

"Oh Callen, I'm so glad to hear that," Rachel said. It was easy to see that he was proud of himself and she couldn't have been happier that his return to work had been so successful.

"You know I couldn't have done it without you," Callen stated, turning more serious. "I really appreciate everything you did for me."

"I may have helped guide you, Callen, but you did all the heavy lifting," Rachel said. "I'm just glad to hear that your return to work went well. I take it any doubts that you had proved to be unfounded?"

Callen nodded a little bit sheepishly. "Yes, they were. Everything has been fine with the assistant director and my work in the field has gone smoothly."

Rachel nodded as she inwardly noted the dramatic transformation Callen had undergone since the first day they had met. She couldn't have been more proud of him.

xxxxx

The rest of the night went by in a blur. Callen made sure to speak with each of the people who had come to the party, then was able to spend some time with Gibbs before it was time for them to leave. "It was really good to see you," Gibbs said as he pulled Callen in for a hug. "I'm really glad you're doing so well."

"I can't thank you enough for recommending Rachel," Callen replied softly as he pulled away. "I know I was reluctant at first, but…she's been really great."

"I'm glad," Gibbs said.

Rachel then came over and she also hugged him. "You should be really proud of yourself, Callen," she said softly. "I know I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," Callen said.

"We'll talk next week?"

"That sounds good."

"Thanks again for coming, sir," Callen said to Vance as they shook hands. "It's really appreciated."

"Just keep doing what you're doing, Callen," Vance said. With that, he, Gibbs and Rachel headed out.

After they had left, Callen headed back to where his team was sitting with Hetty and Sam's family, laughing over something. "Hey guys," he said, taking his previously abandoned seat. "Sorry I didn't get much of a chance to talk with you tonight."

"You did what you're supposed to do as the guest of honor at a party," Hetty said, smiling at him. "You mingled and spoke with friends you don't usually get a chance to talk to."

"Besides, we talk with you more than enough, G," Sam said teasingly. "At least I know I do."

"Sam, you're awful," Michelle said, giving him a mock punch in the arm. "Did you have a good time tonight, Callen?"

"I did," Callen said, nodding earnestly. "Thank you very much for doing this for me." He turned his eyes toward Hetty who nodded at him. "I never had a party like this before, and…well…just thanks."

"You're very welcome, Mr. Callen," Hetty said. "I honestly can't think of anyone more deserving of this. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

They sat and chatted for a while longer before Michelle noticed Kamran was yawning repeatedly. "Sam? I think it's about time we headed home. Come on, Kamran."

Kam didn't even protest as she got to her feet then went over to Callen. "Goodnight, Uncle Callen," she said as she hugged him. "I'm glad you liked your party."

"I liked it very much, honey," Callen said. "Thank you for coming."

Michelle then came over and hugged Callen as well. "You coming for dinner Sunday night?" she asked him.

"Wouldn't miss it," Callen said, deliberately avoiding Sam's eyes which he knew were on him.

After Sam had returned from walking his wife and daughter to their car, Deeks turned to Kensi and Hetty who he had driven to the restaurant. "What do you say, ladies?" he asked. "Are we ready to call it a night?"

"I think so, Deeks," Kensi said, nodding. "Hetty?"

"Yes, I'm ready to leave as well," Hetty said agreeably. She got up from her chair and walked over to Callen then proceeded to embrace him tightly. "I'm very proud of you, my boy," she said softly. "And so happy that things have gone so well for you."

"Thank you, Hetty," Callen replied, looking a little bit emotional. "Thank you for everything."

"You're very welcome," Hetty said, her eyes also filled with emotion.

"So, you ready to head home, G?" Sam asked after Kensi had also hugged his partner.

"I think so," Callen said as he pushed his chair away from the table and got to his feet. With that, the five remaining partygoers walked out to the parking lot together and said their goodbyes.

xxxxx

"So…it wasn't so painful, was it, G?" Sam asked as he pulled out of the parking lot and started driving down the street.

"No, not so painful," Callen admitted with a grin. "When did Hetty come up with this idea for a party?"

"She mentioned it at Christmas."

"Really?" Callen said, looking a little bit surprised. "What if things hadn't gone well for me when I returned?"

"We all knew you were going to be okay, G," Sam stated. "You were the one who needed to know that for yourself."

"Even so," Callen said, shaking his head.

"Come on, G," Sam said. "You know you're good. You've been getting better and stronger every day this week. We've all seen it and I know you feel it too."

Callen nodded thoughtfully. "You're right, Sam. I'm feeling much more confident now, more so than I've felt in a very long time."

"That's how it should be," Sam stated. "I, for one, am very glad to see it."

The two men then lapsed into silence, each immersed in his own thoughts before Sam pulled up in front of Callen's house. "Thanks Sam," Callen said as he unhooked his seatbelt.

"You're welcome, G," Sam replied. "I'm glad you had a good night."

Callen turned in his seat and gazed at his partner, his eyes filled with emotion once again. "I mean, thank you for everything, Sam, for saving me after the crash, for being there for me in the hospital and through everything else that came along…just thank you for all of it..."

"You're my best friend, G," Sam said, trying to hold back his own emotions. "I'm just glad you're back, buddy. You've gone through an awful lot and you fought through all of it. I couldn't be more proud of you or happier for you."

"Thanks, Sam." The two men embraced briefly and then Callen opened the passenger side door. "So, I guess I'll see you Sunday?"

"The casserole will be waiting," Sam said, grinning at his partner.

"What do you think Michelle would say if I offered to bring pizza?" Callen asked.

"I think she'd be highly insulted," Sam replied. "I mean, you're welcome to try, but I can't guarantee the results."

"I guess I'll stick with the casserole," Callen said. "Maybe this week will be one of the better ones."

"You never know," Sam said.

"Okay, have a good weekend, Sam," Callen said. "And thanks again."

"Take it easy, G," Sam said. He watched until his partner had walked into the house and closed the door behind him before he began driving home. Callen had undertaken some of the biggest challenges of his life, but ultimately he had fought through all of them and had survived.


End file.
